1
00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:04,162
WWW.MY-SUBS.CO

1
00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:02,667
I am actually looking forward to
take your daughter to work day.

2
00:00:02,685 --> 00:00:03,918
I am not great with kids.

3
00:00:04,071 --> 00:00:05,420
But I want to get better.

4
00:00:05,654 --> 00:00:06,991
Because I'm getting married.

5
00:00:07,761 --> 00:00:09,709
So I put out a bunch of
extra candy on my desk.

6
00:00:09,744 --> 00:00:11,173
So the kids will come talk to me.

7
00:00:13,541 --> 00:00:15,288
Like the witch in Hansel and Gretel.

8
00:00:16,766 --> 00:00:17,909
Bribery. Nice.

9
00:00:18,373 --> 00:00:19,821
I have more.

10
00:00:19,966 --> 00:00:21,000
It's Pam.

11
00:00:21,104 --> 00:00:22,832
Ms. Beesly if your nasty.

12
00:00:22,971 --> 00:00:24,057
- Oh.
- Janet Jackson.

13
00:00:24,094 --> 00:00:25,757
Hey, you having a wardrobe
malfunction.

14
00:00:25,779 --> 00:00:27,380
You can't be you can't be
nasty today.

15
00:00:27,396 --> 00:00:28,370
'Cause of the...

16
00:00:29,026 --> 00:00:30,582
Oh, God. Is that today ?

17
00:00:30,688 --> 00:00:32,022
I reminded you last night.

18
00:00:32,517 --> 00:00:33,810
Listen, I like kids.

19
00:00:33,905 --> 00:00:35,473
But this is not a kids environment.

20
00:00:35,527 --> 00:00:36,753
This is like HBO.

21
00:00:36,836 --> 00:00:38,203
No limits.

22
00:00:38,507 --> 00:00:39,760
<i>Who knows what I'm gonna say ?</i>

23
00:00:39,837 --> 00:00:40,980
<i>Crazy stuff.</i>

24
00:00:41,146 --> 00:00:42,663
And it is R rated.

25
00:00:42,708 --> 00:00:44,080
It is not rated G.

26
00:00:44,215 --> 00:00:46,773
I am like Eddie Murphy in Raw.

27
00:00:47,216 --> 00:00:50,721
And they are trying to make me into
Eddie Murphy in Daddy Daycare.

28
00:00:50,786 --> 00:00:52,071
Both great movies.

29
00:00:52,127 --> 00:00:53,162
But still.

30
00:00:54,355 --> 00:00:55,532
Well, I'll be in my office.

31
00:00:55,556 --> 00:00:57,312
Don't you think you should
say something ?

32
00:00:57,335 --> 00:00:59,492
- They're cool.
- Michael, I think that as the boss,

33
00:00:59,518 --> 00:01:01,883
- you should... you should really...
- Fine, fine, fine !

34
00:01:01,908 --> 00:01:03,041
Hi children !

35
00:01:03,507 --> 00:01:04,472
I'm Michael Scott.

36
00:01:04,545 --> 00:01:08,012
And I am in charge of this place.

37
00:01:08,707 --> 00:01:11,130
How do I make you understand ?

38
00:01:11,275 --> 00:01:13,590
I am like Superman.

39
00:01:14,085 --> 00:01:17,280
And the people who work here are
like citizens of Gotham City.

40
00:01:17,668 --> 00:01:19,133
- That's Batman.
- Okay,

41
00:01:19,195 --> 00:01:20,361
I'm Aquaman.

44
00:01:23,625 --> 00:01:25,173
I work with a bunch of nerds.

45
00:01:49,708 --> 00:01:53,020
Episode 18 - Season 2
TAKE YOUR DAUGHTER TO WORK DAY

46
00:01:53,145 --> 00:01:56,331
Synchronisation: Catch 22 team
Script: Nikki (twiztv.com)

47
00:01:56,436 --> 00:01:59,442
http://pmag.f2o.org/theofficeus/
www.forom.com

48
00:02:07,825 --> 00:02:08,960
Hello, tiny one.

49
00:02:09,365 --> 00:02:10,220
Come on.

50
00:02:11,155 --> 00:02:12,240
You are the future.

51
00:02:15,408 --> 00:02:18,060
This is my file cabinet.

52
00:02:26,345 --> 00:02:32,453
This is the partition between
my desk and Angela's.

53
00:02:34,336 --> 00:02:38,172
Abby is my fiancee Stacy's daughter.
I think she'll have a good time.

54
00:02:38,535 --> 00:02:41,902
I just hope she doesn't
look on my computer.

55
00:02:43,546 --> 00:02:45,920
Actually, I'd better go check.

56
00:02:48,637 --> 00:02:50,870
Michael, you remember
my daughter Melissa.

57
00:02:50,957 --> 00:02:53,100
Oh, yes. Hello, how are you ?

58
00:02:53,238 --> 00:02:55,720
Good to see you.
Wow, you've really grown up.

59
00:02:55,928 --> 00:02:58,073
You know what ? Don't mind me saying so.

60
00:02:58,167 --> 00:03:00,271
She is turning into a stone cold fox.

61
00:03:00,526 --> 00:03:03,611
Better keep the frat boys away from her.

62
00:03:03,977 --> 00:03:07,300
- I'm in 8th grade.
- She's in middle school.

63
00:03:07,415 --> 00:03:09,960
Yeah, middle school's amazing.
It is extraordinary.

64
00:03:10,135 --> 00:03:11,651
An extraordinary time.

65
00:03:11,798 --> 00:03:13,672
It's not that children
make me uncomfortable.

66
00:03:13,696 --> 00:03:16,280
It's just that, why be a dad
when you can be a fun uncle ?

67
00:03:16,836 --> 00:03:19,572
I've never heard of anyone
rebelling against their fun uncle.

68
00:03:19,898 --> 00:03:21,682
They want how many spiral pads?

69
00:03:22,165 --> 00:03:26,382
Well, 50. I over ordered
because they had a back order.

70
00:03:26,878 --> 00:03:28,932
<i>I got permission to
bring Jakey in to work.</i>

71
00:03:29,045 --> 00:03:31,703
Which is great because,
he got suspended this week.

72
00:03:31,757 --> 00:03:34,133
And now I don't have
to pay for a sitter.

73
00:03:34,225 --> 00:03:36,662
Can you pull that down there ?

74
00:03:37,605 --> 00:03:39,180
Okay, tell 'em what you wanted to say.

75
00:03:39,356 --> 00:03:41,203
- Do you need any help ?
- No,

76
00:03:41,748 --> 00:03:43,263
Thanks.

77
00:03:43,326 --> 00:03:45,331
We'd have to explain everything.

78
00:03:45,425 --> 00:03:47,930
It's probably just easier
if we do it ourselves.

79
00:03:49,306 --> 00:03:52,190
All right, I wasn't expecting that.
Let's, go draw.

80
00:03:52,965 --> 00:03:55,652
Oh, my God. She is so cute,
I wanna die.

81
00:03:55,727 --> 00:03:57,962
Don't you just love kids, Angela ?

82
00:03:58,518 --> 00:04:01,703
I guess I wouldn't mind a
pair of small, well behaved boys.

83
00:04:01,937 --> 00:04:05,080
God, I cannot wait to get
pregnant and have babies.

84
00:04:06,798 --> 00:04:08,982
Kelly and I both agreed that
we would just have fun.

85
00:04:09,505 --> 00:04:12,851
And I'm learning that fun for Kelly is,

86
00:04:13,187 --> 00:04:15,480
getting married and having babies.

87
00:04:15,827 --> 00:04:17,192
Immediately.

88
00:04:17,425 --> 00:04:18,680
With me.

89
00:04:18,865 --> 00:04:21,632
Just compare last year's
orders with this year's.

90
00:04:22,876 --> 00:04:25,002
Yeah, I'm looking at it right now.

91
00:04:28,648 --> 00:04:29,721
Yes.

92
00:04:31,728 --> 00:04:32,742
We...

93
00:04:34,425 --> 00:04:35,980
Yeah, they're very...

94
00:04:37,438 --> 00:04:39,453
They're different.

95
00:04:39,787 --> 00:04:41,421
Yeah, we can stick with last year's.

96
00:04:41,517 --> 00:04:43,702
We're just gonna have to
supplement it somehow.

97
00:04:43,916 --> 00:04:45,220
Hey, Abby !

98
00:04:45,316 --> 00:04:48,120
Do you wanna help me
shred some old documents ?

99
00:04:48,797 --> 00:04:50,290
It's actually pretty cool.

100
00:04:50,575 --> 00:04:52,570
No thanks.

101
00:04:53,275 --> 00:04:55,320
I only have one goal today

102
00:04:55,515 --> 00:04:57,430
To make one kid like me.

103
00:04:58,797 --> 00:04:59,991
Just one.

104
00:05:00,107 --> 00:05:01,393
What are you reading ?

105
00:05:01,498 --> 00:05:04,301
"From the Mixed up Files of
Mrs. Basil E. Frankweiler."

106
00:05:05,257 --> 00:05:06,790
Best book.

107
00:05:07,037 --> 00:05:09,831
- Yeah, but I read it before.
- So have I.

108
00:05:10,547 --> 00:05:11,681
Hey, question.

109
00:05:11,748 --> 00:05:15,123
if you had to spend the night in the Met
Ior the aquarium which would it be ?

110
00:05:15,618 --> 00:05:17,332
- Definitely the aquarium.
- Definitely.

111
00:05:17,527 --> 00:05:19,513
Yes. Glad you said that.

112
00:05:20,538 --> 00:05:22,891
You don't want to help me
with some of my sales, do you ?

113
00:05:22,917 --> 00:05:24,012
'Cause I'm kinda swamped.

114
00:05:24,037 --> 00:05:25,262
- Sure.
- Really ?

115
00:05:25,756 --> 00:05:26,591
Yes.

116
00:05:26,705 --> 00:05:28,122
- And you're Abby, right ?
- Yes

117
00:05:28,168 --> 00:05:29,373
I'm Jim.

118
00:05:30,207 --> 00:05:32,120
And, let's sell some paper.

119
00:05:32,236 --> 00:05:35,441
- All right.
- Let's start with your mom.

120
00:05:35,807 --> 00:05:37,530
Yes. Well.

121
00:05:37,795 --> 00:05:38,951
We can...

122
00:05:41,306 --> 00:05:43,181
Hey, you know what ?
Can I call you back ?

123
00:05:43,306 --> 00:05:45,013
I'll call you right back. Yes, I promise

124
00:05:49,346 --> 00:05:51,683
Hello, can I help you ?

125
00:05:54,295 --> 00:05:57,073
You can pick that up if you want.
That's all right.

126
00:05:58,798 --> 00:06:00,583
Wanna bring it over..

127
00:06:00,636 --> 00:06:03,410
Here, I'll make some room.

128
00:06:10,136 --> 00:06:11,402
My name's Michael.

129
00:06:11,637 --> 00:06:13,301
- What's your name ?
- Sasha.

130
00:06:13,395 --> 00:06:15,051
Nice to meet you.

131
00:06:15,146 --> 00:06:16,490
Oh, you know what that is ?

132
00:06:16,728 --> 00:06:18,921
That is a train whistle.

133
00:06:18,996 --> 00:06:20,991
Like I'm the conductor.

134
00:06:21,225 --> 00:06:23,711
But I'm sort of the conductor
of the office here, right ?

135
00:06:25,708 --> 00:06:27,580
- You wanna try ?
- Sure.

136
00:06:28,238 --> 00:06:30,662
All aboard for sales !

137
00:06:31,067 --> 00:06:33,092
Next stop, Cook...

138
00:06:33,747 --> 00:06:35,703
Camonga !

139
00:06:37,358 --> 00:06:39,741
- You broke my hand.
- There is no way that hurt.

140
00:06:40,067 --> 00:06:42,141
Really ?
Cause she's pretty strong, Dwight.

141
00:06:42,676 --> 00:06:44,633
Little girl, come over here.

142
00:06:46,018 --> 00:06:47,591
Shake my hand.

143
00:06:47,896 --> 00:06:49,960
Come on, I don't have all day.

144
00:06:52,224 --> 00:06:53,742
I didn't feel anything. Nothing.

145
00:06:54,801 --> 00:06:56,607
You're so weak.

146
00:07:00,554 --> 00:07:02,987
Excuse me, these are expensive
collector's items. Okay ?

147
00:07:03,879 --> 00:07:05,561
- Do you have any computer games ?
- No.

148
00:07:05,605 --> 00:07:07,613
I don't have computer games
on my work computer.

149
00:07:07,646 --> 00:07:08,843
That would be inappropriate.

150
00:07:08,876 --> 00:07:10,671
Yeah, Meredith doesn't have
any either.

151
00:07:10,758 --> 00:07:13,391
- It's so lame here.
- You call your mom Meredith ?

152
00:07:14,347 --> 00:07:16,772
- That's very disrespectful.
- Whatever, okay ?

153
00:07:17,438 --> 00:07:19,583
You can refer to me as Mr. Schrute.

154
00:07:19,985 --> 00:07:21,520
That's your name ?

155
00:07:21,745 --> 00:07:23,511
- Mr. Poop?
- Shrute.

156
00:07:23,665 --> 00:07:26,130
- Mr. Shrute.
- Sure, Mr. Poop.

157
00:07:29,576 --> 00:07:31,161
Schrute.

158
00:07:38,485 --> 00:07:40,742
Are you Mother Goose ?

159
00:07:43,005 --> 00:07:46,820
I drink like, 100 iced Macchiatos a
day and practically nothing else.

160
00:07:47,905 --> 00:07:49,523
There's a really cool coffee place,

161
00:07:49,615 --> 00:07:52,330
Jitters, at the Steamtown Mall.
You ever been there ?

162
00:07:53,028 --> 00:07:54,960
- No.
- You've never been to Jitters ?

163
00:07:55,627 --> 00:07:57,683
Ryan, you are so dorky.

164
00:07:58,035 --> 00:07:59,652
Gimme your number
so I can text you.

165
00:08:03,428 --> 00:08:05,043
Come on.

166
00:08:05,338 --> 00:08:06,730
Can I have your e-mail address ?

167
00:08:06,798 --> 00:08:09,012
I just thought you should know.

168
00:08:09,427 --> 00:08:11,740
I think something a little
fishy is going on.

169
00:08:11,845 --> 00:08:13,633
- A little fishy ?
- Yeah.

170
00:08:13,835 --> 00:08:16,301
I've been noticing them all day.
And I was thinking...

171
00:08:16,396 --> 00:08:18,580
That little girl is a child !

172
00:08:18,758 --> 00:08:22,223
I don't wanna see you sniffing
around her anymore this afternoon !

173
00:08:22,248 --> 00:08:24,430
Do you understand ?
Boy, have you lost your mind ?

174
00:08:24,508 --> 00:08:26,183
- No, no.
- Cause I'll help you find it.

175
00:08:26,227 --> 00:08:28,711
Watcha looking for ? Ain't nobody
gonna help you out there.

176
00:08:28,735 --> 00:08:31,383
Jesus can come through that door,
and he's not gonna help you.

177
00:08:31,417 --> 00:08:33,213
If you don't stop sniffing
around my child.

178
00:08:33,236 --> 00:08:34,852
Stanley yelled at me today.

179
00:08:34,887 --> 00:08:38,192
That was one of the most
frightening experiences of my life.

180
00:08:50,128 --> 00:08:51,493
That was Greensleeves.

181
00:08:51,596 --> 00:08:54,572
A traditional English ballad about
the beheaded Anne Boleyn.

182
00:08:54,995 --> 00:08:57,372
And now, a very special treat.

183
00:08:57,487 --> 00:09:00,371
A book my granmutter used
to read me when I was a kid.

184
00:09:00,596 --> 00:09:02,030
This is a very special story

185
00:09:02,287 --> 00:09:08,100
It's called Struwwelpeter by
Heinrich Hoffmann from 1864.

186
00:09:09,465 --> 00:09:14,283
The great tall tailor always comes
to little girls that suck their thumbs.

187
00:09:14,348 --> 00:09:16,372
Are you listening, Sasha ? Right ?

188
00:09:16,456 --> 00:09:18,203
And ere they dream what he's about,

189
00:09:18,408 --> 00:09:23,040
he takes his great sharp scissors out
and then cuts their thumbs clean off.

190
00:09:23,326 --> 00:09:25,782
- Dwight, What the hell are you reading?
- There's a photo.

191
00:09:25,856 --> 00:09:27,321
These are cautionary tales for kids.

192
00:09:27,358 --> 00:09:29,980
- Yeah, you know what ? No...
- My granmutter used to read...

193
00:09:30,036 --> 00:09:31,942
They kids don't wanna
hear some weirdo book,

194
00:09:32,007 --> 00:09:34,101
that your Nazi war criminal
grandmother gave you.

195
00:09:34,217 --> 00:09:36,023
- What's a Nazi ?
- What's a Nazi ?

196
00:09:36,097 --> 00:09:38,571
Nazi was a facist movement in the 1930s.

197
00:09:38,615 --> 00:09:40,872
Don't, talk about Nazis in
front of... You know what ?

198
00:09:40,896 --> 00:09:43,313
They're gonna have nightmares.
Why don't you just shut it ?

199
00:09:43,357 --> 00:09:46,111
I was gonna teach the children
how to make corn husk dolls.

200
00:09:46,428 --> 00:09:48,351
Why don't you just leave ? Okay ?

201
00:09:51,035 --> 00:09:52,743
- Bye, Mr. Poop.
- All right

202
00:09:52,786 --> 00:09:54,471
There goes Mr. Poop. Now,

203
00:09:54,818 --> 00:09:56,473
- who likes Dane Cook?
- I do !

204
00:09:56,608 --> 00:09:59,052
Children cannot lie. They are innocent,

205
00:09:59,097 --> 00:10:02,263
and they speak the truth.
And out of the mouths of babes,

206
00:10:02,648 --> 00:10:05,472
Michael Scott is freakin' cool.

207
00:10:13,167 --> 00:10:15,561
You know, I never misbehaved
in front of my father.

208
00:10:15,676 --> 00:10:18,311
Because he was a very
strict disciplinarian.

209
00:10:19,146 --> 00:10:22,393
I can only hope my mate has
some of those same qualities.

210
00:10:27,565 --> 00:10:29,812
This is where the magic happens.

211
00:10:30,225 --> 00:10:32,180
Right over here, let me show you this.

212
00:10:32,356 --> 00:10:33,961
See all these ?

213
00:10:34,568 --> 00:10:36,371
You know what that is ?

214
00:10:36,506 --> 00:10:39,241
That's paper. This is where paper
comes from. Any questions ?

215
00:10:39,725 --> 00:10:42,830
So, you cut the paper
and dye it and stuff ?

216
00:10:42,906 --> 00:10:45,531
No, we don't actually cut the paper.
That's a good question.

217
00:10:45,836 --> 00:10:50,073
The paper is sent to us cut and
dyed from a paper manufacturer.

218
00:10:50,305 --> 00:10:54,240
And then we sell it to a business
for more than we pay for it.

219
00:10:54,435 --> 00:10:55,700
- That's not fair.
-  No.

220
00:10:55,747 --> 00:10:57,722
- Yes it is.
- No, no.

221
00:10:57,905 --> 00:10:59,791
You need someone in
the middle to facilitate...

222
00:10:59,995 --> 00:11:02,491
- You're just the middle man.
- I'm not just the middle man.

223
00:11:02,538 --> 00:11:05,410
Wait, why doesn't the sawmill just
sell the paper directly to people ?

224
00:11:05,476 --> 00:11:07,212
You're describing Office Depot.

225
00:11:07,306 --> 00:11:09,302
And they're kind of running us
out of business.

226
00:11:09,355 --> 00:11:11,671
We have better service than they do.

227
00:11:13,705 --> 00:11:17,532
There's Creed ! Let's take a look
at what he's doing, everybody.

228
00:11:19,195 --> 00:11:22,082
This is Creed. And he is in charge of...

229
00:11:22,678 --> 00:11:24,261
Something, right ?
- That is correct.

230
00:11:24,627 --> 00:11:26,182
- Say hi to the kids.
- Hi kids.

231
00:11:27,546 --> 00:11:29,923
You ever seen a foot
with four toes ?

232
00:11:29,967 --> 00:11:32,083
- Cool !
- What are you doing ? Stop it, stop it.

233
00:11:32,195 --> 00:11:34,462
Just no, no, no. No !
Would you cut it out ?

234
00:11:34,955 --> 00:11:37,533
- What is your problem ?
- Well, the hair covers it up mostly.

235
00:11:37,587 --> 00:11:39,671
We're not gonna see the
four-toed Creed, okay ?

236
00:11:40,116 --> 00:11:43,280
You know, there's something interesting
about me that you might wanna know.

237
00:11:43,327 --> 00:11:45,743
I used to be the star of a kids show.

238
00:11:45,797 --> 00:11:47,630
- No way.
- It's true, I did.

239
00:11:47,786 --> 00:11:49,853
- You serious ? Really ?
- I am totally serious.

240
00:11:49,916 --> 00:11:53,113
There was a show called
Fundle Bundle, and I was the star.

241
00:11:53,245 --> 00:11:56,201
- That doesn't sound like a show.
-  It's true. I can prove it.

242
00:11:56,297 --> 00:11:58,893
Watch this. Ryan,
can you come here a second ?

243
00:12:00,386 --> 00:12:02,832
I would like you to go to
my mother's house in Dixon City.

244
00:12:03,396 --> 00:12:06,430
And if she's at the pool, the back
kitchen window should be unlocked.

245
00:12:06,456 --> 00:12:08,441
- I want you to boost yourself up.
- All right.

246
00:12:08,467 --> 00:12:10,072
I want you to go down to
the basement.

247
00:12:10,106 --> 00:12:11,700
There is a tape
labeled Fundle Bundle.

248
00:12:11,738 --> 00:12:13,892
I want you to grab it.
I want you to get my guitar.

249
00:12:13,937 --> 00:12:15,962
- Right, okay.
- I want you to get a tambourine.

250
00:12:16,016 --> 00:12:17,683
Do you know how to
play the tambourine ?

251
00:12:17,728 --> 00:12:19,931
I'm already getting the
pizzas from Bernetti's, so...

252
00:12:19,967 --> 00:12:21,973
- You know, I can go with him.
- No ! I will go.

253
00:12:22,047 --> 00:12:24,111
Okay ! Thank you, Ryan

254
00:12:24,305 --> 00:12:25,943
Good attitude. Hottest in the office.

255
00:12:26,097 --> 00:12:28,701
All right, now what kind
of pizza do you like ?

256
00:12:28,886 --> 00:12:31,050
I don't get why parents are
always complaining about,

257
00:12:31,067 --> 00:12:33,112
how tuff it is to raise kids.

258
00:12:33,345 --> 00:12:35,510
You joke around with them.
You give 'em pizza

259
00:12:35,687 --> 00:12:38,382
You give 'em candy.
You let them live their lives.

260
00:12:38,548 --> 00:12:39,842
They're adults for God's sake.

261
00:12:39,958 --> 00:12:44,512
I am going to give you a little blast
from the past of Michael Gary Scott,

262
00:12:44,677 --> 00:12:46,272
when he was a child star.

263
00:12:46,467 --> 00:12:49,412
And a show that you might
remember called Fundle Bundle.

264
00:12:49,695 --> 00:12:51,780
Okay, without further ado, Ryan ?

265
00:12:51,937 --> 00:12:53,830
<i>Bundle, are you
ready to come on in ?</i>

266
00:12:55,757 --> 00:12:56,811
<i>Let's have some fun !</i>

267
00:12:56,835 --> 00:13:00,801
That is Miss Trudy. Can't tell from her
costume, but she had an amazing body.

268
00:13:02,158 --> 00:13:04,492
Okay, you can fast forward.

269
00:13:04,636 --> 00:13:06,380
And I want you.

270
00:13:06,465 --> 00:13:09,513
- Is that a real working windmill ?
- It's coming up. Stop ! Stop. Stop.

271
00:13:11,035 --> 00:13:14,322
Yes. That is Edward R. Meow.

272
00:13:14,908 --> 00:13:17,300
- That's pretty funny.
- Yeah.

273
00:13:19,036 --> 00:13:20,402
<i>Hey, what's your name ?</i>

274
00:13:20,647 --> 00:13:22,771
<i>- My name's Chet.
- Well, hi Chet.</i>

275
00:13:22,886 --> 00:13:25,792
- Is that Chet Montgomery ?
-  I don't, I don't know.

276
00:13:25,867 --> 00:13:27,303
Yeah, that is !

277
00:13:27,407 --> 00:13:29,322
He's the meteorologist from channel 4.

278
00:13:29,436 --> 00:13:31,511
Checking in with Chet. Doppler 7.

279
00:13:32,378 --> 00:13:33,421
That guy's legit.

280
00:13:33,577 --> 00:13:35,760
<i>What do you wanna
be when you grow up ?</i>

281
00:13:36,006 --> 00:13:37,771
<i>I wanna be on TV.</i>

282
00:13:38,495 --> 00:13:40,482
And he is on TV now !

283
00:13:40,547 --> 00:13:43,430
Will everybody please shut up.
Please. So you don't miss it.

284
00:13:45,005 --> 00:13:46,563
<i>Okay, next.</i>

285
00:13:46,737 --> 00:13:48,940
<i>- So, what's your name ?</i>
- That's me, that's me.

286
00:13:49,125 --> 00:13:53,871
<i>Hi Michael, I'm Ed. What's your
favorite subject at school ?</i>

287
00:13:54,198 --> 00:13:56,453
<i>- Recess.
- Recess.</i>

288
00:13:56,817 --> 00:14:00,352
<i>So, tell me, what do you
wanna be when you grow up ?</i>

289
00:14:00,658 --> 00:14:03,042
<i>I wanna be married
and have 100 kids.<i>

290
00:14:03,177 --> 00:14:04,811
<i>So I can have 100 friends.<i>

291
00:14:05,077 --> 00:14:07,493
<i>And no one can say
no to being my friend.</i>

292
00:14:14,327 --> 00:14:16,702
<i>Okay. Well, nice talking
with you, Michael.</i>

293
00:14:16,745 --> 00:14:18,440
<i>Back to you Ms. Trudy.</i>

294
00:14:18,825 --> 00:14:21,040
<i>Hi everyone, it's one
of my favorite...</i>

295
00:14:21,108 --> 00:14:23,533
- Could have sworn there was...
- Did you get married ?

296
00:14:24,126 --> 00:14:25,182
- No.
- Why not ?

297
00:14:25,816 --> 00:14:27,290
It just never happened.

298
00:14:28,107 --> 00:14:30,141
So do you have any kids ?

299
00:14:30,868 --> 00:14:31,683
Nope.

300
00:14:31,957 --> 00:14:33,023
Do you have a girlfriend ?

301
00:14:33,116 --> 00:14:35,323
- I do okay.
- Was Chet Montgomery cool back then ?

302
00:14:35,357 --> 00:14:37,810
- Even I have a girlfriend.
- Okay. All right, okay.

303
00:14:37,985 --> 00:14:40,472
So you didn't get to
be what you wanted to be.

304
00:14:42,168 --> 00:14:44,003
I guess not.

305
00:14:45,807 --> 00:14:48,293
You know, I have a load of work to do.

306
00:14:48,405 --> 00:14:51,652
So I am going to grab a
slice of this delish pizza.

307
00:14:52,848 --> 00:14:54,803
And I'm gonna go do my work.

308
00:14:55,697 --> 00:14:56,762
Bye.

309
00:15:06,496 --> 00:15:09,243
He's not coming out.
He won't pick up the phone.

310
00:15:09,668 --> 00:15:13,070
I can't believe his mom dressed him
like that. That's the real tragedy.

311
00:15:14,046 --> 00:15:16,232
Pam, Pam ! I love this guy !

312
00:15:26,947 --> 00:15:30,183
So, Melissa, I met your
mom a couple times.

313
00:15:30,328 --> 00:15:32,313
She's so nice.

314
00:15:32,467 --> 00:15:34,692
Who, Terri ?

315
00:15:35,107 --> 00:15:36,563
That woman is not my mother.

316
00:15:36,625 --> 00:15:38,053
That is my step mother.

317
00:15:43,046 --> 00:15:44,670
Mr. Poop, I have to tell you something.

318
00:15:44,715 --> 00:15:46,293
Okay. But first, that's not my name.

319
00:15:46,866 --> 00:15:48,381
You're ugly.

320
00:15:50,758 --> 00:15:52,972
Well, at least I'm not
a horrible little latchkey kid

321
00:15:53,048 --> 00:15:55,321
who got suspended from school,

322
00:15:55,956 --> 00:15:57,002
so...

323
00:15:57,905 --> 00:15:59,082
Meredith !

324
00:16:12,226 --> 00:16:13,342
Yeah ?

325
00:16:14,627 --> 00:16:17,552
I think these belong to you.

326
00:16:17,727 --> 00:16:20,402
That's okay, she can keep those.

327
00:16:21,117 --> 00:16:22,823
Believe me, she has enough toys.

328
00:16:22,977 --> 00:16:25,253
She doesn't need your watch.

329
00:16:26,228 --> 00:16:27,491
Thank you.

330
00:16:30,965 --> 00:16:32,502
Is everything okay ?

331
00:16:34,358 --> 00:16:37,183
You have to ask me that because
you work for human resources.

332
00:16:38,856 --> 00:16:40,352
That's true.

333
00:16:40,476 --> 00:16:42,872
You know, sure,
playing the field is great.

334
00:16:42,938 --> 00:16:46,183
Don't get me wrong. But there's more
to life than notches on my bedpost.

335
00:16:47,545 --> 00:16:48,803
Tell me something honestly.

336
00:16:48,865 --> 00:16:53,703
Do you think, that it is too
late for me to have kids ?

337
00:16:54,817 --> 00:16:57,022
Well, you need a wife
first or at least a girlfriend.

338
00:16:57,137 --> 00:16:58,862
- What about...
-Not Jan.

339
00:16:58,975 --> 00:17:01,271
- Okay.
- You really wanna have kids,

340
00:17:01,467 --> 00:17:03,610
I guess you could somehow.

341
00:17:06,485 --> 00:17:08,820
Foster parent or something.

342
00:17:11,035 --> 00:17:13,160
Or biologically.

343
00:17:13,585 --> 00:17:15,481
Somehow.

344
00:17:15,998 --> 00:17:18,942
Thanks, that's...No, that really
means a lot to me.

345
00:17:22,588 --> 00:17:25,550
Hey, does Sasha have a godfather ?
Because...

346
00:17:25,636 --> 00:17:27,932
- Yes.
- O-kay.

347
00:17:29,667 --> 00:17:31,220
Is it okay if I take one ?

348
00:17:31,465 --> 00:17:32,852
- Sure.
-Thank you.

349
00:17:33,006 --> 00:17:34,982
You're welcome.

350
00:17:35,258 --> 00:17:36,411
Is your job hard ?

351
00:17:37,658 --> 00:17:39,402
It's not too bad.

352
00:17:39,706 --> 00:17:42,211
I get to shred things sometimes.
Do you wanna see ?

353
00:17:42,368 --> 00:17:44,003
- Yeah !
- Really ?

354
00:17:44,077 --> 00:17:45,990
- Yeah.
- Okay.

355
00:17:48,845 --> 00:17:52,130
Here it is.
Don't put your fingers in there.

356
00:17:55,187 --> 00:17:56,933
- Cool ?
- Yeah.

357
00:17:58,358 --> 00:18:00,043
Yeah, I get to do this,
like, every week.

358
00:18:00,126 --> 00:18:01,581
- That's so awesome.
- I know.

359
00:18:01,946 --> 00:18:03,841
Yes, it is true

360
00:18:04,066 --> 00:18:08,193
I, Michael Scott am signing up
with an online dating service.

361
00:18:08,475 --> 00:18:11,282
Thousands of people have done it,
and I'm going to do it.

362
00:18:11,665 --> 00:18:13,433
I need a user name.

363
00:18:13,585 --> 00:18:15,562
And I have a great one.

364
00:18:20,748 --> 00:18:21,933
Little Kid Lover.

365
00:18:22,045 --> 00:18:25,453
That way, people will know exactly
where my priorities are at.

366
00:18:28,838 --> 00:18:30,411
Go ahead.

367
00:18:30,958 --> 00:18:33,440
Do you wanna come over
for dinner tonight ?

368
00:18:33,575 --> 00:18:35,912
Oh man, I would love to.

369
00:18:36,006 --> 00:18:38,370
I can't tonight, but can
I come over some other time ?

370
00:18:38,756 --> 00:18:41,362
What are you doing ?
You never have plans.

371
00:18:42,188 --> 00:18:43,690
Thanks, Kev.

372
00:18:43,848 --> 00:18:46,351
- I'm actually going on a date.
- Nice.

373
00:18:47,618 --> 00:18:49,731
Hey, no, please. You can't leave yet.

374
00:18:49,836 --> 00:18:51,773
There's still one more
thing we need to do.

375
00:18:53,368 --> 00:18:56,632
<i>You, you are on the road</i>

376
00:18:58,035 --> 00:19:00,013
<i>Must have a code</i>

377
00:19:00,888 --> 00:19:03,822
<i>That you can live by</i>

378
00:19:03,958 --> 00:19:08,633
<i>And so become yourself</i>

379
00:19:09,748 --> 00:19:12,460
<i>Because the past</i>

380
00:19:12,887 --> 00:19:15,732
<i>Is just a good-bye</i>

381
00:19:16,628 --> 00:19:20,400
<i>And teach your children well</i>

382
00:19:20,466 --> 00:19:23,143
Why does he own a guitar if he
doesn't know how to play it ?

383
00:19:23,226 --> 00:19:25,951
I think he thought his
ukulele skills would transfer.

384
00:19:28,867 --> 00:19:32,843
<i>And feed them on your dreams</i>

385
00:19:32,947 --> 00:19:34,313
My theory is that...

386
00:19:34,468 --> 00:19:36,723
<i>The one they picked</i>

387
00:19:37,598 --> 00:19:40,042
<i>The one you know by</i>

388
00:19:41,565 --> 00:19:45,400
<i>Don't you ever ask them why</i>

389
00:19:45,858 --> 00:19:48,580
<i>If I told you you would cry</i>

390
00:19:48,777 --> 00:19:52,701
<i>You just look at them and sigh</i>

391
00:19:56,088 --> 00:19:59,542
<i>And know they love you</i>

392
00:19:59,865 --> 00:20:02,222
And they do.
Your parents love you very much.

393
00:20:02,427 --> 00:20:03,663
One more time.

394
00:20:03,836 --> 00:20:04,842
<i>You...</i>