1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:04,162 WWW.MY-SUBS.CO 1 00:00:05,352 --> 00:00:08,841 So, you found a band yet for your wedding ? 2 00:00:09,691 --> 00:00:12,643 'Cause I'm in a band. We really rock. 3 00:00:12,703 --> 00:00:14,294 Yeah, I mean, it's inevitable. 4 00:00:14,428 --> 00:00:17,380 I definitely overhear some wedding preparation, but I'm fine with it. 5 00:00:18,051 --> 00:00:20,437 She hears me arranging my social life... 6 00:00:20,526 --> 00:00:24,194 and we both have to hear Dwight order deer urine over the internet, 7 00:00:24,328 --> 00:00:25,744 so it evens out. 8 00:00:26,479 --> 00:00:27,597 So I got the Save The Date. 9 00:00:27,641 --> 00:00:29,121 - Yeah ? - Yeah, pretty stationary. 10 00:00:29,158 --> 00:00:31,100 - Oh, thanks. - I didn't get mine yet. 11 00:00:35,904 --> 00:00:38,492 There are a few people I decided not to invite. 12 00:00:39,331 --> 00:00:42,127 And that might make things kind of awkward, but... 13 00:00:43,334 --> 00:00:45,017 it's my wedding. 14 00:00:45,469 --> 00:00:49,120 And I don't want anyone there who has called me a hussy. 15 00:01:12,627 --> 00:01:15,293 Episode 21 - Season 2 Conflict resolution 16 00:01:15,385 --> 00:01:18,462 Script: Nikki (twiztv.com) Synchronisation: Catch-22 Team 17 00:01:18,555 --> 00:01:21,101 http://pmag.f2o.org/theofficeus/ www.forom.com 18 00:01:22,125 --> 00:01:25,233 Yes, thanks. Fantastic Sam's. Adult cut plus. 19 00:01:25,556 --> 00:01:28,062 Comes with a shampoo and blow dry. 20 00:01:28,877 --> 00:01:30,623 We're doing I.D. photos today. 21 00:01:30,666 --> 00:01:31,900 Gotta represent. 22 00:01:33,325 --> 00:01:34,362 On or off ? 23 00:01:34,735 --> 00:01:35,741 Off. 24 00:01:37,788 --> 00:01:39,393 What is on your face ? 25 00:01:39,676 --> 00:01:41,181 Is that a disguise ? 26 00:01:41,987 --> 00:01:43,303 Excuse me. 27 00:01:44,585 --> 00:01:45,853 Clown paint. 28 00:01:46,475 --> 00:01:47,841 I.D. badges are long overdue. 29 00:01:47,905 --> 00:01:49,891 Security in this office park is a joke. 30 00:01:50,387 --> 00:01:53,630 Last year I came to work with my spud gun in a duffel bag. 31 00:01:54,038 --> 00:01:56,033 I sat at my desk all day 32 00:01:56,096 --> 00:01:59,381 with a rifle that shoots potatoes at 60 pounds per square inch. 33 00:01:59,925 --> 00:02:02,293 Can you imagine if I was deranged ? 34 00:02:03,155 --> 00:02:04,313 That's a nice tie. 35 00:02:07,245 --> 00:02:09,170 Thank you. That is... 36 00:02:09,407 --> 00:02:11,092 - who makes that ? - I don't know. 37 00:02:11,167 --> 00:02:13,031 Do you mind if I wear that for the photo ? 38 00:02:14,418 --> 00:02:16,521 Let's... let's keep our clothes. 39 00:02:17,645 --> 00:02:18,953 It's like child abuse! 40 00:02:20,588 --> 00:02:23,503 I say, if Jesus saw that, he'd freak out! 41 00:02:23,677 --> 00:02:25,020 He'd freak out, Toby. 44 00:02:30,598 --> 00:02:32,141 Just letting Oscar vent a little. 45 00:02:32,198 --> 00:02:34,951 We would use the break room, but the photographer's back there. 46 00:02:35,017 --> 00:02:36,603 - What's the problem ? - Angela. 47 00:02:36,868 --> 00:02:40,642 It's just a little dispute over a poster in their workspace. 48 00:02:40,715 --> 00:02:43,351 - Since Christmas. - So what, you're having a little spat ? 49 00:02:43,645 --> 00:02:45,102 I forget, are you guys dating ? 50 00:02:45,626 --> 00:02:49,070 Michael, can I talk to you for a second, please ? 51 00:02:49,775 --> 00:02:52,552 Here's how I usually handle this. All I do is listen. 52 00:02:52,627 --> 00:02:55,352 You know, these things just have a way of working themselves out. 53 00:02:55,407 --> 00:02:58,201 It's like if you write someone a letter when you're really angry. 54 00:02:58,248 --> 00:03:00,443 They say to keep it in your drawer for a couple days, 55 00:03:00,495 --> 00:03:02,230 and then you just never end up sending it. 56 00:03:02,275 --> 00:03:04,192 What do you know about conflict resolution ? 57 00:03:04,225 --> 00:03:06,813 Your answer to everything is to get divorced, so... 58 00:03:06,868 --> 00:03:08,521 - Okay. - Okay, what ? 59 00:03:08,577 --> 00:03:10,722 That was a right decision for me and my marriage. 60 00:03:10,776 --> 00:03:13,031 Well, that's not gonna fly here because in this office 61 00:03:13,085 --> 00:03:14,503 it is till death do us part. 62 00:03:14,548 --> 00:03:16,372 Assuming that we don't get downsized. 63 00:03:16,667 --> 00:03:17,661 Pam, 64 00:03:18,216 --> 00:03:21,253 would you get Angela and meet us in the conference room, please ? 65 00:03:21,868 --> 00:03:24,213 A Mediator's Toolchest. 66 00:03:26,918 --> 00:03:30,240 Okay, well, before we get started, you should know 67 00:03:30,307 --> 00:03:34,003 that there are five different styles of conflict. 68 00:03:34,238 --> 00:03:38,161 My Shaolin Temple style defeats your Monkey Style. 69 00:03:38,228 --> 00:03:40,421 Can we go ? I have a lot of work to do. 70 00:03:40,478 --> 00:03:41,563 This is important. 71 00:03:41,876 --> 00:03:44,463 - The first style is "lose-lose". - What's the next one ? 72 00:03:44,488 --> 00:03:47,350 Just, hold on, please. 73 00:03:47,408 --> 00:03:51,733 Okay, if we do lose-lose, neither of you gets what you want. 74 00:03:53,086 --> 00:03:55,083 Do you understand ? 75 00:03:55,327 --> 00:03:58,731 You... you would both lose. 76 00:03:59,448 --> 00:04:01,113 Now, I need to ask you, 77 00:04:01,158 --> 00:04:04,631 do you want to pursue a lose-lose negotiation ? 78 00:04:05,657 --> 00:04:08,940 Can we just skip to whatever number five is ? Win-win or whatever ? 79 00:04:08,995 --> 00:04:14,243 Win-win, is number four, and number five is win-win-win. 80 00:04:14,268 --> 00:04:18,003 The important difference here is with win-win-win, we all win. 81 00:04:18,418 --> 00:04:23,160 Me too. I win for having successfully mediated a conflict at work. 82 00:04:24,678 --> 00:04:27,651 Okay, so this is the disputed poster. 83 00:04:27,695 --> 00:04:32,420 Now, one at a time, I want you to express your feelings 84 00:04:32,728 --> 00:04:38,982 using "I" emotion language and no judging, or "you" statements. 85 00:04:39,236 --> 00:04:43,030 I got this poster for Christmas, and I feel I want to see it every day. 86 00:04:43,476 --> 00:04:46,073 It makes me feel like the babies are the true artists, 87 00:04:46,138 --> 00:04:48,352 and God has a really cute sense of humor. 88 00:04:48,576 --> 00:04:49,890 Come on, seriously. That ? 89 00:04:49,998 --> 00:04:51,830 I don't like looking at it. 90 00:04:51,898 --> 00:04:54,871 It's creepy and in bad taste, and it's just offensive to me. 91 00:04:54,937 --> 00:04:57,971 It makes me think of the horrible, frigid stage mothers 92 00:04:58,027 --> 00:04:59,450 who forced the babies into it. 93 00:04:59,625 --> 00:05:01,770 It's kitsch. It's the opposite of art. 94 00:05:01,938 --> 00:05:04,030 It destroys art. It destroys souls. 95 00:05:04,096 --> 00:05:06,550 This is so much more offensive to me than hard-core porno. 96 00:05:06,585 --> 00:05:08,700 - I'm talking about the kind... - Oh my God. 97 00:05:09,476 --> 00:05:14,173 Let's see if we can't just brainstorm and find some creative alternatives 98 00:05:14,227 --> 00:05:15,510 - that are win-win. - Win 99 00:05:15,788 --> 00:05:16,953 Yes. Thank you, Pam. 100 00:05:17,007 --> 00:05:22,841 How about, Angela makes the poster into a t-shirt which Oscar wears. 101 00:05:22,955 --> 00:05:26,731 That way he can never see it, and whenever she looks at Oscar, 102 00:05:26,917 --> 00:05:29,720 she can see it. Win-win-win. 103 00:05:30,045 --> 00:05:31,430 - No. - That's... no. 104 00:05:31,917 --> 00:05:33,670 Well, brainstorm. Own the solution. 105 00:05:33,856 --> 00:05:36,592 - How about I leave it up ? - How about she takes it down ? 106 00:05:37,136 --> 00:05:41,062 How about Angela can keep it up on Tuesdays and Thursdays. 107 00:05:41,157 --> 00:05:44,083 Okay, that is called a compromise. 108 00:05:44,646 --> 00:05:47,930 And it is style three, and it is not ideal. 109 00:05:48,008 --> 00:05:51,593 To sum up, win-win, make the poster into a t-shirt. 110 00:05:51,708 --> 00:05:53,990 Win-lose, take the poster down. 111 00:05:54,075 --> 00:05:58,103 Compromise, Tuesdays and Thursdays. And the answer is... 112 00:05:59,478 --> 00:06:01,421 make the poster into a t-shirt. 113 00:06:01,435 --> 00:06:02,711 - Win-win. - Win. 114 00:06:02,937 --> 00:06:04,022 - Fine. - But... 115 00:06:04,617 --> 00:06:05,882 It is done! 116 00:06:08,925 --> 00:06:10,712 - No, you're all good. - Great. 117 00:06:15,778 --> 00:06:19,010 Hey, Angela. I didn't have your zip code. 118 00:06:20,327 --> 00:06:21,391 Thanks. 119 00:06:23,547 --> 00:06:24,941 It was hand-delivered. 120 00:06:25,056 --> 00:06:27,560 but I did get a Save The Date after all. 121 00:06:28,575 --> 00:06:30,332 It's not my taste. 122 00:06:30,606 --> 00:06:31,810 You solved it. 123 00:06:33,357 --> 00:06:36,153 We can, throw that one out. 124 00:06:37,288 --> 00:06:38,923 Are those all the other complaints ? 125 00:06:39,226 --> 00:06:40,681 I would like to see those please. 126 00:06:41,317 --> 00:06:44,073 - I can't do that. - You can't do that, huh ? 127 00:06:45,908 --> 00:06:47,860 Now you and I have a conflict. 128 00:06:48,125 --> 00:06:49,992 I order you to give me that file. 129 00:06:50,266 --> 00:06:51,122 That... 130 00:06:55,757 --> 00:06:57,200 There! No more conflict. 131 00:06:58,358 --> 00:07:00,571 I had to use the win-lose on that. It was not pretty. 132 00:07:00,605 --> 00:07:02,233 All right. Is that it ? 133 00:07:09,145 --> 00:07:10,292 It's all Dwight's. 134 00:07:10,635 --> 00:07:13,891 Every Friday at 4:00, I have a standing appointment with Dwight 135 00:07:14,067 --> 00:07:16,490 for him to file a grievance against Jim. 136 00:07:16,546 --> 00:07:19,440 I tell him that I'm sending them to a special file in New York. 137 00:07:19,935 --> 00:07:22,451 That box is the special file in New York. 138 00:07:22,515 --> 00:07:25,423 Oh, God. All right. 139 00:07:25,668 --> 00:07:27,520 Why do I have to do everything ? 140 00:07:27,625 --> 00:07:28,672 Are you sure ? 141 00:07:28,718 --> 00:07:30,503 Oh, he's sure. Just shoot. 142 00:07:34,045 --> 00:07:35,922 This, is from Kevin. 143 00:07:35,977 --> 00:07:39,370 He says Stanley uses his Miracle Whip without asking. 144 00:07:39,454 --> 00:07:43,322 Meredith complains that everyone talks too loud in the morning 145 00:07:43,401 --> 00:07:45,277 and the lights are too bright. 146 00:07:45,744 --> 00:07:47,087 Creed... 147 00:07:48,919 --> 00:07:51,883 Creed is sick of looking at the redhead all day 148 00:07:52,015 --> 00:07:54,890 and wants a seat facing the receptionist. 149 00:07:55,357 --> 00:07:56,280 Nice. 150 00:07:56,307 --> 00:08:00,350 You will notice that not one of these complaints is against me. 151 00:08:00,948 --> 00:08:04,180 Actually, I have a separate folder for complaints against Michael. 152 00:08:04,646 --> 00:08:10,101 This is January through March of this year. 153 00:08:13,428 --> 00:08:16,252 How many of you have at one time 154 00:08:16,365 --> 00:08:19,171 gone to Toby to complain about another employee ? 155 00:08:20,955 --> 00:08:24,830 And, did you get what you wanted, or were you merely listened to, 156 00:08:25,328 --> 00:08:27,561 you forget about your problem, and you move on ? 157 00:08:29,338 --> 00:08:32,620 That is outrageous! I love this place... 158 00:08:33,656 --> 00:08:36,822 and it pains me to see all of the negativity... 159 00:08:37,466 --> 00:08:38,502 festering... 160 00:08:40,975 --> 00:08:44,842 Today we are going to get everything out of these files 161 00:08:44,878 --> 00:08:47,181 and into the open, where it can be resolved. 162 00:08:47,696 --> 00:08:51,301 All right, how about the Phyllis-Angela dispute ? 163 00:08:51,336 --> 00:08:54,060 - You already did me. - That's what she said. 164 00:08:54,217 --> 00:08:58,410 The thing is, Angela, you are in here an awful lot. 165 00:08:58,478 --> 00:09:00,652 You have complained about everybody in the office, 166 00:09:00,705 --> 00:09:02,553 except Dwight, which is odd 167 00:09:02,795 --> 00:09:05,653 because everyone else has had run in with Dwight. 168 00:09:05,725 --> 00:09:07,743 Toby, by the way, what does "redacted" mean ? 169 00:09:07,968 --> 00:09:10,871 There is a file full of complaints in here marked "redacted." 170 00:09:11,238 --> 00:09:14,033 It just means whoever complained came to me later and withdrew it, 171 00:09:14,078 --> 00:09:15,553 so I took their name off. 172 00:09:17,058 --> 00:09:19,380 There were a bunch of complaints about Dwight 173 00:09:19,558 --> 00:09:21,940 that were put in the redacted file about six months ago. 174 00:09:21,996 --> 00:09:24,170 Wait! If someone has a problem with me, 175 00:09:24,237 --> 00:09:26,262 why would they withdraw it six months ago ? 176 00:09:30,545 --> 00:09:33,073 Let's move on. I volunteer. 177 00:09:33,415 --> 00:09:34,923 Did anyone have a problem with me ? 178 00:09:34,988 --> 00:09:37,600 All right, Pamela. Come on down! 179 00:09:37,885 --> 00:09:43,040 Let's do it. And... okay. Just one complaint. 180 00:09:43,295 --> 00:09:45,250 Actually, it has been withdrawn. 181 00:09:45,336 --> 00:09:46,940 So that is no help to us. Next. 182 00:09:47,157 --> 00:09:48,331 Wait, what did it say ? 183 00:09:48,757 --> 00:09:51,270 "Does she have to plan her wedding on office time ?" 184 00:09:51,418 --> 00:09:52,983 "Shouldn't she do that at home ?" 185 00:09:54,585 --> 00:09:56,053 Who else ? 186 00:09:56,286 --> 00:09:59,580 Why don't we just warm up first ? Warm up emotionally, all right ? 187 00:09:59,736 --> 00:10:01,871 I have this kind of big secret about Angela. 188 00:10:01,937 --> 00:10:05,280 And I've been really nice to her and I haven't told anyone, and... 189 00:10:06,285 --> 00:10:07,540 what the hell ?! 190 00:10:07,738 --> 00:10:10,051 Here is a Kelly complaint. 191 00:10:10,106 --> 00:10:13,562 "Ryan never returns my calls." Ah, join the club. 192 00:10:14,858 --> 00:10:17,380 My voice mail's real spotty... sometimes. 193 00:10:17,436 --> 00:10:19,402 I didn't file a complaint. I was just talking. 194 00:10:19,478 --> 00:10:20,901 To your HR representative. 195 00:10:20,927 --> 00:10:23,433 To my friend, I thought. I want that withdrawn. 196 00:10:23,998 --> 00:10:27,161 Fine, I'll take your name off. So no one will know. 197 00:10:29,266 --> 00:10:30,183 Making progress. 198 00:10:31,015 --> 00:10:32,540 - Dwight tried to kiss me. - What ? 199 00:10:32,607 --> 00:10:35,670 And I didn't tell anyone 'cause I'm not really sure how I feel about it. 200 00:10:35,736 --> 00:10:37,430 That is not true. Redact it. Redact it! 201 00:10:37,458 --> 00:10:39,542 Well, I'm not actually making a formal complaint. 202 00:10:39,568 --> 00:10:41,452 I just really think we should talk about it. 203 00:10:41,477 --> 00:10:43,221 Okay, question. When a name is withdrawn, 204 00:10:43,277 --> 00:10:46,471 does that also apply to the permanent misbehavior file in New York ? 205 00:10:47,367 --> 00:10:48,381 Sure. 206 00:10:49,598 --> 00:10:50,923 Stanley. 207 00:10:52,417 --> 00:10:53,712 Thanks for ratting me out. 208 00:10:54,007 --> 00:10:55,021 I didn't do it. 209 00:10:55,215 --> 00:10:56,350 I find that hard to believe 210 00:10:56,376 --> 00:10:58,712 considering you have problems with every single person 211 00:10:58,757 --> 00:11:00,850 in this entire office except Bobblehead Joe. 212 00:11:02,507 --> 00:11:07,991 Someone complained that the men's room is "whites only". 213 00:11:08,297 --> 00:11:09,810 Stanley, you know that's not true. 214 00:11:09,907 --> 00:11:11,261 I didn't say that. 215 00:11:11,417 --> 00:11:13,962 Then why is there a picture of a white man on the door ? 216 00:11:18,416 --> 00:11:22,170 Okay, Phyllis. You complained that Angela is giving you dirty looks. 217 00:11:22,287 --> 00:11:24,661 And you tried to get off the party planning committee. 218 00:11:24,728 --> 00:11:27,841 No, I never said any such thing. Angela and I are close. 219 00:11:27,925 --> 00:11:32,060 And... also, Phyllis, Stanley says that you cry too much, 220 00:11:32,107 --> 00:11:33,220 and that bugs him. 221 00:11:33,507 --> 00:11:34,902 Stanley and I are close too. 222 00:11:35,045 --> 00:11:37,231 - We sit close. - O... kay. 223 00:11:40,137 --> 00:11:41,441 Just take it. 224 00:11:43,308 --> 00:11:45,052 I can't believe Angela. 225 00:11:45,276 --> 00:11:48,303 I went against my better judgment, and I gave her a Save The Date. 226 00:11:48,398 --> 00:11:50,670 And now it turns out she complained about me to Toby. 227 00:11:50,727 --> 00:11:52,133 Well, it was redacted. 228 00:11:53,356 --> 00:11:56,562 Look, if she wants an invite, maybe she's just trying to be friends. 229 00:11:56,747 --> 00:11:58,311 Don't take her side. 230 00:12:00,838 --> 00:12:02,672 Well, what does Roy think about everything ? 231 00:12:02,705 --> 00:12:05,321 I don't know. I try not to bother him about this kind of stuff. 232 00:12:05,355 --> 00:12:07,531 You mean like your thoughts and your feelings ? 233 00:12:09,375 --> 00:12:11,152 I know you keep saying it's your space, 234 00:12:11,207 --> 00:12:13,871 even though there's no assigned parking, but I keep forgetting. 235 00:12:13,915 --> 00:12:15,811 - Yes, that's the problem. - I guess so. 236 00:12:17,318 --> 00:12:18,981 Okay, well, all settled then. 237 00:12:21,436 --> 00:12:22,813 I don't like you. 238 00:12:23,926 --> 00:12:29,362 Okay, Ryan, you told Toby that Creed has a distinct old man smell ? 239 00:12:31,836 --> 00:12:33,473 I know exactly what he's talking about. 240 00:12:33,515 --> 00:12:36,662 I sprout mung beans on a damp paper towel in my desk drawer. 241 00:12:37,127 --> 00:12:39,770 Very nutritious. But they smell like death. 242 00:12:40,377 --> 00:12:42,162 All right, Kevin. You are accused of 243 00:12:42,216 --> 00:12:44,780 making sexually suggestive remarks to Angela 244 00:12:44,825 --> 00:12:46,982 that made her feel uncomfortable. 245 00:12:47,026 --> 00:12:48,331 Solution. 246 00:12:48,397 --> 00:12:50,881 Angela, you are to make sexually suggestive remarks 247 00:12:50,917 --> 00:12:52,820 to Kevin that will make him uncomfortable. 248 00:12:52,848 --> 00:12:54,162 I accept your decision. 249 00:12:56,855 --> 00:12:57,863 You know what, Dwight ? 250 00:12:57,888 --> 00:13:00,033 Maybe we should get our photo I.D. taken together. 251 00:13:00,076 --> 00:13:01,371 That doesn't make any sense. 252 00:13:01,446 --> 00:13:02,760 Well, it saves time, you know. 253 00:13:02,827 --> 00:13:05,293 'Cause we could just meet in the parking lot every morning. 254 00:13:05,326 --> 00:13:06,981 Walk in together. Perfect. 255 00:13:07,046 --> 00:13:08,360 - Smile. - No. 256 00:13:09,566 --> 00:13:10,972 I never smile if I can help it. 257 00:13:11,015 --> 00:13:13,721 Showing one's teeth is a submission signal in primates. 258 00:13:14,125 --> 00:13:15,460 When someone smiles at me, 259 00:13:15,587 --> 00:13:18,292 all I see is a chimpanzee begging for its life. 260 00:13:21,006 --> 00:13:22,493 This came out really well. 261 00:13:23,705 --> 00:13:24,981 There you go. 262 00:13:29,617 --> 00:13:30,901 This is humongous. 263 00:13:31,106 --> 00:13:32,491 am not a security threat. 264 00:13:33,016 --> 00:13:36,641 And my middle name is Kurt. Not Fart. 265 00:13:37,006 --> 00:13:38,133 What did I write ? 266 00:13:42,107 --> 00:13:44,420 I have another complaint for Jim's permanent file. 267 00:13:44,485 --> 00:13:46,401 Talk to Michael. I gave him the box. 268 00:13:47,405 --> 00:13:48,622 What box ? 269 00:13:51,126 --> 00:13:54,131 - But I didn't report your snoring... - Wednesdays, tearful. Tuesdays... 270 00:14:01,346 --> 00:14:03,861 Four years of malfeasance unreported. This cannot stand. 271 00:14:03,915 --> 00:14:05,622 - Okay. Calm down. - No! You calm down. 272 00:14:05,647 --> 00:14:07,711 Whose side is Toby on ? Whose side are you on ?! 273 00:14:07,737 --> 00:14:08,732 - Him or me ? - Stop. 274 00:14:08,756 --> 00:14:10,911 Him or me ? I cannot work with Jim anymore. 275 00:14:11,066 --> 00:14:12,671 - Either he goes, or I go. - Dwight... 276 00:14:12,725 --> 00:14:13,733 - You choose! - Stop... 277 00:14:13,798 --> 00:14:15,900 One of us is out of here by the end of today. 278 00:14:22,717 --> 00:14:23,760 I am not bluffing! 279 00:14:24,606 --> 00:14:26,052 Do the right thing here, Michael. 280 00:14:26,097 --> 00:14:28,413 Okay, I have served you loyally for years. 281 00:14:28,788 --> 00:14:30,623 I deserve this, you know I do! 282 00:14:33,116 --> 00:14:35,460 You know your I.D. says you're a security threat ? 283 00:14:36,438 --> 00:14:37,673 You have 'till 5:00. 284 00:14:42,268 --> 00:14:46,963 Oh, look, Jim. There's a sales manager position open in Stamford. 285 00:14:48,067 --> 00:14:50,782 Want me to call Jan and tell her you're interested ? 286 00:14:50,966 --> 00:14:54,452 I could put in a good word for you. 'Cause I'll still be working here. 287 00:14:55,255 --> 00:15:00,380 Transfer, transfer, everybody. Transfer, transfer, transfer! 288 00:15:00,866 --> 00:15:03,750 You two, in the conference room, with me. 289 00:15:04,316 --> 00:15:07,102 Nobody leaves until we work this out. 290 00:15:07,836 --> 00:15:09,711 Cage match. 291 00:15:09,885 --> 00:15:12,640 Cage matches ? Yeah, they work. How could they not work ? 292 00:15:12,896 --> 00:15:15,770 If they didn't work, everybody would still be in the cage. 293 00:15:16,177 --> 00:15:17,942 Okay, so, Dwight, in your own words. 294 00:15:18,008 --> 00:15:20,793 "Someone replaced all my pens and pencils with crayons." 295 00:15:20,858 --> 00:15:22,663 "I suspect Jim Halpert." 296 00:15:23,338 --> 00:15:25,822 "Everyone has called me Dwayne all day." 297 00:15:25,866 --> 00:15:28,071 "I think Jim Halpert paid them to." 298 00:15:29,625 --> 00:15:33,152 Yes, five bucks each. And it was totally worth it. 299 00:15:33,478 --> 00:15:36,631 "This morning I found a bloody glove in my desk drawer" 300 00:15:36,656 --> 00:15:40,070 "and Jim Halpert tried to convince me I committed murder." 301 00:15:40,258 --> 00:15:42,333 "I think he may be the real murderer." 302 00:15:42,617 --> 00:15:44,713 "Jim Halpert said there was an abandoned infant" 303 00:15:44,758 --> 00:15:47,020 "in the woman's room. When I went to save the child," 304 00:15:47,045 --> 00:15:48,722 "I saw Meredith on the can." 305 00:15:49,687 --> 00:15:50,781 Gaaad. 306 00:15:52,215 --> 00:15:55,793 "This morning I knocked myself in the head with the phone." 307 00:15:58,328 --> 00:15:59,531 That actually took a while. 308 00:15:59,575 --> 00:16:02,520 I had to put more an more nickels into his handset, 309 00:16:02,936 --> 00:16:06,832 'till he got used to the weight, and then I just...took 'em all out. 310 00:16:06,955 --> 00:16:10,561 "Everytime I typed my name it said 'Diapers'." 311 00:16:12,856 --> 00:16:14,330 Just a simple macro. 312 00:16:15,338 --> 00:16:18,673 You know, these actually don't sound that funny one after another. 313 00:16:19,437 --> 00:16:21,103 But he does deserve it, though. 314 00:16:21,286 --> 00:16:22,362 "By the end of the day," 315 00:16:22,398 --> 00:16:24,703 "my desk was about two feet closer to the copier." 316 00:16:26,187 --> 00:16:29,422 Yeah, I just moved it an inch every time he went to the bathroom. 317 00:16:30,967 --> 00:16:33,220 And that's how I spent my entire day that day. 318 00:16:57,227 --> 00:17:00,681 The Japanese have this thing called shiatsu massage 319 00:17:00,736 --> 00:17:04,053 where they dig into your body very hard. 320 00:17:04,128 --> 00:17:07,472 And it is very painful. And apparently, some people throw up. 321 00:17:08,376 --> 00:17:10,203 But the next day they feel great. 322 00:17:10,997 --> 00:17:13,371 I've never had one. They sound awful. 323 00:17:20,336 --> 00:17:22,321 Maybe Stamford would be cool. 324 00:17:24,377 --> 00:17:26,151 It's a good market. 325 00:17:27,277 --> 00:17:28,590 Higher volume. 326 00:17:32,236 --> 00:17:33,682 Maybe we should both go. 327 00:17:34,345 --> 00:17:35,782 I have a girlfriend. 328 00:17:35,985 --> 00:17:37,661 Sure you do, Dwight, sure. 329 00:17:37,917 --> 00:17:41,472 Hey, there's like, 300 more of these. 330 00:17:41,527 --> 00:17:42,970 Let's get to them later. 331 00:17:43,016 --> 00:17:44,721 So you're gonna transfer Jim or not ? 332 00:17:44,797 --> 00:17:46,722 Maybe, I haven't decided yet. 333 00:17:47,568 --> 00:17:49,793 - Let's get to work. - I want an answer by tomorrow. 334 00:17:51,535 --> 00:17:54,341 Actually, tomorrow's not good. How about later in the week ? 335 00:17:55,727 --> 00:17:56,963 Fine. 336 00:17:57,127 --> 00:17:58,142 Good. Okay. 337 00:18:03,916 --> 00:18:06,961 Wait. How about a group picture while you're here ? 338 00:18:07,106 --> 00:18:09,231 I can't. I only get reimbursed for the I.D. photos. 339 00:18:09,276 --> 00:18:11,390 Well, that's, what, a computer camera, right ? 340 00:18:12,087 --> 00:18:14,833 - You mean, digital ? - Yeah, it'll take, like, two seconds. 341 00:18:15,747 --> 00:18:17,053 20 bucks. 342 00:18:18,086 --> 00:18:21,602 All right. Everybody, come on. Group photo for the newsletter. 343 00:18:22,085 --> 00:18:23,711 You gotta be kidding. 344 00:18:23,857 --> 00:18:26,042 Come on, everybody. Come on, let's go. Creed, Kevin, 345 00:18:26,368 --> 00:18:28,241 Oscar, andale, let's go. 346 00:18:29,056 --> 00:18:30,852 One, two, three, smile. 347 00:18:31,795 --> 00:18:34,140 - Try to smile. - We resolved a lot today, everybody. 348 00:18:34,356 --> 00:18:35,252 Think happy thoughts. 349 00:18:35,305 --> 00:18:38,160 Alright, I'm just gonna take it on three whether you smile or not. 350 00:18:38,665 --> 00:18:40,610 Good, let's check that out. 351 00:18:42,808 --> 00:18:44,863 All right. One more. We'll take one more. 352 00:18:44,956 --> 00:18:46,493 - That'll be another 20. - What ? 353 00:18:47,136 --> 00:18:49,100 Angela, I want to talk to you about something. 354 00:18:49,138 --> 00:18:50,240 - What ? - No, Pam, don't. 355 00:18:50,955 --> 00:18:53,121 - It's about the Save The Date. - Pam it wasn't her. 356 00:18:53,158 --> 00:18:54,191 What ? 357 00:18:55,337 --> 00:18:57,080 I'm the one who complained about you. 358 00:19:00,147 --> 00:19:01,621 Alright, come on, one more time! 359 00:19:01,658 --> 00:19:03,753 I didn't know that Toby was gonna write it down. 360 00:19:04,065 --> 00:19:06,932 I was just venting. You know, it was one day. 361 00:19:07,008 --> 00:19:07,861 That's terrible. 362 00:19:08,338 --> 00:19:10,410 And I took it right back. It was like... 363 00:19:11,008 --> 00:19:13,631 Let's pay Mr... 364 00:19:13,666 --> 00:19:14,800 Oh, dear. 365 00:19:14,858 --> 00:19:16,192 Price gouger. 366 00:19:19,418 --> 00:19:21,733 We can do this. Come on, everybody. 367 00:19:24,368 --> 00:19:26,670 All right. Here we go. 368 00:19:27,547 --> 00:19:31,160 It was really hard getting a good picture of 15 people. 369 00:19:31,597 --> 00:19:32,982 He would not give me a discount. 370 00:19:33,375 --> 00:19:34,650 And eight tries added up. 371 00:19:35,017 --> 00:19:37,653 One, two... 372 00:19:38,026 --> 00:19:39,273 Didn't say three, did I ? 373 00:19:39,407 --> 00:19:41,893 But I'm sort of an expert at Photoshop. 374 00:19:42,115 --> 00:19:43,821 So it turned out fine in the end. 375 00:19:44,265 --> 00:19:47,173 When people work together there is going to be conflict. 376 00:19:47,217 --> 00:19:49,751 You can't outrun your problems. 377 00:19:50,378 --> 00:19:53,420 Hey, Pam, it's Jim. I have a doctor's appointment in the city. 378 00:19:53,466 --> 00:19:55,671 So I probably won't be in 'till the late afternoon. 379 00:19:55,967 --> 00:19:57,903 Just thought I'd let you know. Okay, bye. 380 00:19:58,938 --> 00:20:01,901 - Okay, Jan will see you now. - Oh, thanks. 381 00:20:01,976 --> 00:20:07,191 And that is why the idea of a cage match is so universally appealing. 382 00:20:07,615 --> 00:20:09,972 But here's the thing about cage matches. 383 00:20:10,005 --> 00:20:13,402 Sometimes you have to open the cage. 384 00:20:14,177 --> 00:20:18,413 And that is something that Toby will never understand.