1 00:00:33,952 --> 00:00:36,985 2x02 : Sexual Harassment by Belkiss, Occeane, Unfold http://pmag.f2o.org/theofficeus/ 2 00:00:46,595 --> 00:00:49,329 - Hey what's up ? - Hey ! 3 00:00:50,025 --> 00:00:53,130 - Any e-mails today ? - Hum I don't think so... 4 00:00:53,267 --> 00:00:54,455 No ? 5 00:00:55,645 --> 00:00:57,436 Check your spam folder. 6 00:00:58,555 --> 00:01:00,776 Oh ! there it is ! 7 00:01:00,935 --> 00:01:01,765 - What ? 8 00:01:03,956 --> 00:01:07,565 "50 signs that your priest might be Michael Jackson" 9 00:01:08,705 --> 00:01:11,256 Well done ! Topical ! 10 00:01:11,708 --> 00:01:14,080 I am king of forwards ! 11 00:01:14,143 --> 00:01:16,136 it's how I like to do business. 12 00:01:16,239 --> 00:01:17,940 Everybody joking around ! 13 00:01:18,166 --> 00:01:19,626 We're like Friends. 14 00:01:19,889 --> 00:01:22,481 I am Chandler, 15 00:01:22,648 --> 00:01:24,013 and Joey, 16 00:01:24,786 --> 00:01:27,833 and Pam is Rachel, 17 00:01:28,587 --> 00:01:31,361 and Dwight is Kramer. 18 00:01:31,548 --> 00:01:35,310 So the monkey does the sex thing, right here ! 19 00:01:38,015 --> 00:01:39,793 Funny ! that's funny ! 20 00:01:40,025 --> 00:01:43,713 Not offensive because it's nature, educational. 21 00:01:43,995 --> 00:01:48,033 Do you want the link ? cause then you could forward it around. 22 00:01:48,048 --> 00:01:48,812 Consider it. 23 00:01:49,778 --> 00:01:51,033 Maybe. 24 00:01:51,228 --> 00:01:52,392 Well, we'll see. 25 00:01:53,115 --> 00:01:55,020 Because I don't know if it's... 26 00:01:55,088 --> 00:01:55,772 Come on ! 27 00:01:55,776 --> 00:01:58,652 What has 2 thumbs and likes to bone your mum ? 28 00:01:58,805 --> 00:01:59,783 This guy ! 29 00:02:02,788 --> 00:02:04,182 You are so bad ! 30 00:02:06,828 --> 00:02:08,323 This guy is out of control ! 31 00:02:08,567 --> 00:02:09,953 He is a mad man ! 32 00:02:09,985 --> 00:02:12,620 Better get the bleep button ready for him. 33 00:02:14,397 --> 00:02:16,833 What's up Halpert ? Still queer ? 34 00:02:19,785 --> 00:02:23,611 Todd Packer, and I, are total BFF. 35 00:02:24,025 --> 00:02:25,233 Best Friends Forever. 36 00:02:25,276 --> 00:02:27,743 He and I came up together as salesman. 37 00:02:28,255 --> 00:02:31,742 One time we were out, and we met this 38 00:02:32,076 --> 00:02:33,843 set of twins, 39 00:02:33,907 --> 00:02:37,123 and Packer told them that we were brothers. 40 00:02:37,926 --> 00:02:39,283 And so you know, 41 00:02:39,485 --> 00:02:40,653 one thing lead to another, 42 00:02:40,765 --> 00:02:43,221 and we brought them back to the motel, 43 00:02:43,707 --> 00:02:46,303 and then Packer did both of them. 44 00:02:47,338 --> 00:02:48,520 It was awesome ! 45 00:02:51,225 --> 00:02:51,570 Ok. 46 00:02:52,346 --> 00:02:53,540 Grade 'A' gossip 47 00:02:53,545 --> 00:02:56,020 Right now, Rendal, CFO, 48 00:02:56,145 --> 00:02:58,341 resigned, nobody knows why. 49 00:02:58,647 --> 00:03:01,071 Are you kidding ? Everyone knows why ! 50 00:03:01,106 --> 00:03:03,612 You don't know ? Oh ok, check this out, all right. 51 00:03:03,637 --> 00:03:04,681 - So here's the story. - Yeah ? 52 00:03:04,695 --> 00:03:08,752 So Rendal is nailing his secretary, right ? and she's totally incompetent. 53 00:03:08,788 --> 00:03:12,920 Really ? here we go. Buckle up, it's going to be a bumpy one. 54 00:03:12,985 --> 00:03:15,531 We're talking blond incompetent. Right? 55 00:03:15,835 --> 00:03:17,540 Like ten words a minute... 56 00:03:17,625 --> 00:03:18,343 talking ! 57 00:03:18,715 --> 00:03:20,951 Well to be fair blondes, brunettes, sit down, 58 00:03:20,958 --> 00:03:22,521 there are lot of dumb people out there. 59 00:03:22,605 --> 00:03:24,231 They are women, right ? 60 00:03:25,447 --> 00:03:27,013 I didn't say it ! 61 00:03:27,046 --> 00:03:27,870 I said it ! 62 00:03:29,515 --> 00:03:31,893 And then, suddenly for no reasons, 63 00:03:31,926 --> 00:03:36,122 this bimbo blows the whistle on the whole thing, just to be a bitch ! 64 00:03:36,175 --> 00:03:38,453 What have I told you about the bleep button ! 65 00:03:38,627 --> 00:03:39,312 Hey, 66 00:03:39,446 --> 00:03:41,822 What has 2 thumbs and hates Todd Packer ? 67 00:03:41,957 --> 00:03:43,123 This guy ! 68 00:03:44,007 --> 00:03:44,881 Meant to ask you 69 00:03:44,885 --> 00:03:49,190 Do you think you can get someone to drive me around because of the DUI situation ? 70 00:03:49,498 --> 00:03:50,470 Bad boy ! 71 00:03:51,385 --> 00:03:52,852 Ryan ? 72 00:03:53,485 --> 00:03:55,870 Come on kid, let's go. 73 00:03:56,338 --> 00:04:00,641 - Man, Todd Packer could do anything. - Except pass that breathalyzer. 74 00:04:05,748 --> 00:04:09,382 - You a big William Hung fan? - Why does everybody ask me that ? 75 00:04:09,517 --> 00:04:10,851 Who the hell is that ? 76 00:04:16,737 --> 00:04:19,281 - I'm really excited to meet you mum ! - You are ? 77 00:04:19,578 --> 00:04:21,562 My mum is coming in to visit. 78 00:04:22,285 --> 00:04:25,422 She lives likes 2 hours away, and she doesn't have a cell phone, 79 00:04:25,458 --> 00:04:29,590 which is cool, cause it's kind of adding some suspense to my day 80 00:04:29,628 --> 00:04:32,553 I keep looking over at the door, hoping she'll walk in ! 81 00:04:32,576 --> 00:04:35,851 I've decided to show her around, she really wants to meet everybody. 82 00:04:35,985 --> 00:04:39,173 Oh yeah ? good, cause I've a lot of questions. 83 00:04:39,355 --> 00:04:40,671 - Oh really ? - Yeah. 84 00:04:40,908 --> 00:04:46,552 As a child, did Pam show any traits that would endorse her future career as a receptionist ? 85 00:04:48,387 --> 00:04:51,540 Hey, send me that link to the monkey sex video, 86 00:04:51,716 --> 00:04:54,720 - I'm going to forward it like it's hot. - Yes ! 87 00:04:54,905 --> 00:04:59,271 Forward it like it's hot. Old school ! 88 00:04:59,655 --> 00:05:02,721 - Michael ? - Yes Tobby ? 89 00:05:03,157 --> 00:05:06,913 I need to talk to you in your office, it will just take 2 seconds. 90 00:05:07,558 --> 00:05:09,260 Literally 2 seconds ? 91 00:05:09,538 --> 00:05:13,221 Tobby is an HR, which technically means he works for corporate. 92 00:05:13,247 --> 00:05:16,701 So he's really not a part of our family. 93 00:05:17,518 --> 00:05:20,650 Also he's divorced, so he's really not a part of his family. 94 00:05:20,735 --> 00:05:24,060 The full story is that Rendal resigned because of sexual harassment, 95 00:05:24,205 --> 00:05:28,203 so corporate asks me to do a 5 minutes review of the company sexual harassment policy. 96 00:05:28,215 --> 00:05:29,593 No no Tobby. No. 97 00:05:29,827 --> 00:05:33,801 - It's really not a big deal, Michael. - It is a big deal, it's a big deal ! 98 00:05:33,825 --> 00:05:39,302 What are we supposed to do ? Scrutinize every little thing we say and do all day ? 99 00:05:39,318 --> 00:05:40,652 I mean, come on ! 100 00:05:40,707 --> 00:05:42,803 And then corporate is gonna send in a lawyer. 101 00:05:42,808 --> 00:05:43,360 What ? 102 00:05:43,365 --> 00:05:47,633 - Just to fresh you on our policy. - No. What ? No. 103 00:05:47,658 --> 00:05:51,492 Okay, what is a lawyer going to come in and tell us? 104 00:05:51,506 --> 00:05:55,180 to not send out hilarious e-mails, or not tell jokes ? 105 00:05:55,216 --> 00:05:58,602 Maybe not some of them, maybe not inappropriate ones. 106 00:05:58,655 --> 00:06:02,343 There is no such thing as inappropriate joke, that's why it's a joke ! 107 00:06:02,675 --> 00:06:05,021 Everyone, hello ? everyone, hi ! 108 00:06:05,505 --> 00:06:07,663 Sorry to interrupt I know you're all busy, 109 00:06:07,668 --> 00:06:10,992 and the last thing you want is for a major interruption. 110 00:06:11,036 --> 00:06:12,730 But Tobby has an announcement, 111 00:06:12,745 --> 00:06:16,772 that he insists on making right now in the middle of the day, so take it away. 112 00:06:16,817 --> 00:06:18,280 Yeah, ok. 113 00:06:18,336 --> 00:06:22,900 Corporate would like us to do a 5 minute review with the company sexual harassment policy, 114 00:06:22,906 --> 00:06:24,421 so I'll go over that later. 115 00:06:24,588 --> 00:06:26,540 I wish you luck Tobby, I really do. 116 00:06:26,606 --> 00:06:28,941 But you are going to have a mutiny on your hands and 117 00:06:28,958 --> 00:06:31,921 I just can't wait to see how you handle it. 118 00:06:32,278 --> 00:06:36,841 A guy goes to a 5$ lady of the night, 119 00:06:36,988 --> 00:06:39,842 and he gets crabs. 120 00:06:39,895 --> 00:06:42,550 So the next day he goes back to complain. 121 00:06:43,236 --> 00:06:47,770 And the woman says : "Hey, it was only 5$, 122 00:06:47,968 --> 00:06:51,901 what did you expect, lobster ?" 123 00:06:53,027 --> 00:06:55,560 This is what's at stake. 124 00:07:01,665 --> 00:07:03,660 Time to bring out the big guns. 125 00:07:03,725 --> 00:07:07,511 I'm heading down to the warehouse, where jokes are born. 126 00:07:07,626 --> 00:07:11,722 Find a killer joke that will just blow everybody away at the ceminar later. 127 00:07:11,928 --> 00:07:15,521 And, remind them, what is great about this place. 128 00:07:15,586 --> 00:07:17,763 So, here they are ! 129 00:07:17,827 --> 00:07:21,761 Guys, wondering if I could get your help for something. 130 00:07:21,837 --> 00:07:24,323 I'm looking for a new joke to tell, 131 00:07:24,347 --> 00:07:28,311 and it needs to be just killer, and it does not need to be clean. 132 00:07:28,525 --> 00:07:31,603 - What you've got ? - Like a joke ? A knock knock joke? 133 00:07:31,687 --> 00:07:33,671 Yeah, no. Better, better than that. 134 00:07:33,675 --> 00:07:36,011 Let's have the type you guys tell all day. 135 00:07:36,035 --> 00:07:41,142 Well, those are some awful tight pants you have on, where did you get them like 136 00:07:41,565 --> 00:07:43,621 Q ueers'r'us ? 137 00:07:43,687 --> 00:07:44,982 Boys'r'us ! 138 00:07:45,835 --> 00:07:48,721 All right, but you know, 139 00:07:48,965 --> 00:07:51,291 a joke but not necessarily at my expense. 140 00:07:51,397 --> 00:07:52,633 - so work out. - Well we can see... 141 00:07:52,646 --> 00:07:55,620 all of your business coming around the corner ok ? 142 00:07:55,637 --> 00:08:00,840 you need to, hide that? Good thing you don't have a lot of business to start with. 143 00:08:00,998 --> 00:08:03,180 Oh ok. That was still about me. 144 00:08:03,273 --> 00:08:06,376 Hey, so you don't have the biggest package, don't feel bad ! 145 00:08:06,409 --> 00:08:08,730 - I don't feel bad ! - I think he feels bad. 146 00:08:08,756 --> 00:08:10,456 - No I don't ! - You look like you feel bad ! 147 00:08:10,889 --> 00:08:12,100 - Your little package ! - Well, you know, 148 00:08:12,147 --> 00:08:14,850 not exactly what I was looking for but thanks guys ! Thank you ! 149 00:08:12,388 --> 00:08:14,822 Little package ! 150 00:08:14,906 --> 00:08:17,593 - You look good in those pants. - he got it from his mama ! 151 00:08:20,137 --> 00:08:23,023 So remember intent is irrelevant. And that's it. 152 00:08:23,106 --> 00:08:24,142 Pam ? 153 00:08:24,247 --> 00:08:29,270 I just wanted to say that just my mum is coming in today. 154 00:08:29,318 --> 00:08:33,162 - MILF ! - Thanks Kevin. 155 00:08:33,417 --> 00:08:35,641 Usually the day we talk about sexual harassment, 156 00:08:35,658 --> 00:08:38,173 is the day that everyone harasses me as a joke. 157 00:08:38,246 --> 00:08:39,233 She's coming in today, 158 00:08:39,235 --> 00:08:42,232 and maybe just don't joke around about that stuff in front of her. 159 00:08:42,295 --> 00:08:44,143 - Great point. - Thank you. 160 00:08:44,595 --> 00:08:49,201 In fact, basic rule of thumb : let's just act everyday likes Pam's mum coming in. 161 00:08:49,867 --> 00:08:53,443 All right that's it, anybody has any questions about anything, 162 00:08:53,506 --> 00:08:54,672 you know where I sit in the back. 163 00:08:57,395 --> 00:08:59,832 - Hi ! Is it over ? - Yes. 164 00:08:59,856 --> 00:09:02,741 - I can go over it with you. - I know, I know it's good. 165 00:09:02,807 --> 00:09:07,450 It is not over until it's over. Did he tell you everything ? 166 00:09:04,995 --> 00:09:06,021 It's over. 167 00:09:07,726 --> 00:09:11,690 Obviously he didn't because you all still look relatively happy, 168 00:09:11,836 --> 00:09:13,262 Albeit, bored. 169 00:09:13,677 --> 00:09:16,110 Do you realize what we are losing ? seriously ? 170 00:09:16,145 --> 00:09:17,420 E-mail forwards ? 171 00:09:17,727 --> 00:09:19,243 Exactly ! 172 00:09:19,716 --> 00:09:23,870 Can we afford to lose e-mail forwards ? Do we want that ? 173 00:09:24,045 --> 00:09:26,871 I hate them, you send me these filthy e-mails, 174 00:09:26,876 --> 00:09:30,311 and you say forward them to 10 people or you'll have bad luck. 175 00:09:30,455 --> 00:09:31,781 Give me a break. 176 00:09:31,946 --> 00:09:37,012 Stanley, how about that hot picture you have by your desk ? 177 00:09:37,387 --> 00:09:39,480 Centerfold in a catholic schoolgirls outfit ? 178 00:09:39,518 --> 00:09:44,002 I mean it is hot, it is sexy and it turns him on and I will admit, 179 00:09:44,086 --> 00:09:46,840 that best part of my mornings is staring at it. 180 00:09:46,856 --> 00:09:48,452 But what ? are we gonna just take it away ? 181 00:09:48,488 --> 00:09:51,551 That is my daughter, she goes to Catholic girls school, 182 00:09:51,655 --> 00:09:53,401 I'm taking it down right now. 183 00:09:54,227 --> 00:09:58,190 - What about office romance ? - Office relationships are... 184 00:09:58,296 --> 00:10:01,231 never a good idea so let's just try to avoid them. 185 00:10:01,275 --> 00:10:04,680 But if you already have one, you should disclose it to HR. 186 00:10:05,286 --> 00:10:08,372 All relationships ? even a one night stand ? 187 00:10:09,336 --> 00:10:11,041 I think the old honor system was fine. 188 00:10:11,087 --> 00:10:15,693 For example I have never slept with an employee, and believe me I could have. 189 00:10:16,126 --> 00:10:18,560 - Yeah Meredith ! - No no Catherine, 190 00:10:18,576 --> 00:10:22,280 remember her ? remember how hot she was ? She would have definitely slept with me. 191 00:10:20,196 --> 00:10:20,640 Yes ! 192 00:10:22,297 --> 00:10:24,421 - She wasn't that hot ! - Yes she was ! 193 00:10:24,506 --> 00:10:26,211 - Damn it Kevin ! come o... - Ok, you know Michael... 194 00:10:26,328 --> 00:10:28,640 I'm in an office relationship. 195 00:10:28,966 --> 00:10:32,411 It's special. She's nice, she's shy, 196 00:10:32,537 --> 00:10:36,310 she's actually here if you wanna meet her, hold on one second. 197 00:10:38,166 --> 00:10:40,133 Oh my god ! put on a shirt ! 198 00:10:40,358 --> 00:10:42,920 put on... I told you that you'd be on camera ! 199 00:10:43,015 --> 00:10:46,651 I'm sorry she's European. No I told you that you'd be on camera ! 200 00:10:48,065 --> 00:10:49,043 Stop it ! 201 00:10:49,355 --> 00:10:51,731 What if Pam was a lesbian ? 202 00:10:52,816 --> 00:10:57,270 What if she brought her "partner" into work ? will that be crossing the line ? 203 00:10:57,355 --> 00:10:57,793 No ! 204 00:10:57,806 --> 00:11:00,140 What if they made out, in front of everybody ? 205 00:11:00,325 --> 00:11:02,563 - Well that would be... - at home ! 206 00:11:02,616 --> 00:11:06,000 and I told everybody everything about it. 207 00:11:07,077 --> 00:11:09,853 - Okay I'm lost. - Okay, well then let's act it out ! 208 00:11:09,968 --> 00:11:15,002 Pam, you will be girl A, and girl B will be... 209 00:11:15,155 --> 00:11:16,843 Okay we'll use the doll. 210 00:11:18,317 --> 00:11:21,261 Pam ? Pam ? 211 00:11:24,586 --> 00:11:27,452 I wish Todd Packer was here, cause he would love this. 212 00:11:27,586 --> 00:11:30,041 I wonder if anybody else would like to join us. 213 00:11:30,107 --> 00:11:32,281 Ooh, it's coming out of my mouth.Hey ! 214 00:11:33,228 --> 00:11:35,270 We have to watch Tobby's video, 215 00:11:35,287 --> 00:11:38,271 that he's, uh, showing us in order to brain wash us and now I was wondering 216 00:11:38,278 --> 00:11:39,962 if anybody like to join-in ? 217 00:11:40,187 --> 00:11:43,673 It could be fun ! Got microwave pizza. What do you say ? 218 00:11:44,197 --> 00:11:45,890 - Jim ? - No thanks I'm good. 219 00:11:46,238 --> 00:11:47,720 That's what she said. 220 00:11:48,405 --> 00:11:51,351 - Pam ? - My mother's coming. 221 00:11:51,437 --> 00:11:55,783 That's what she said. No, but ok, well suit yourself. 222 00:11:57,305 --> 00:11:59,580 - Hey Tobby. - Hey Dwight. 223 00:11:59,755 --> 00:12:02,652 You said that we could come to you if we had any questions ? 224 00:12:02,716 --> 00:12:03,491 Sure. 225 00:12:06,767 --> 00:12:09,233 Where is the clitoris ? 226 00:12:12,736 --> 00:12:17,390 On a website it said at the crest of the labia. 227 00:12:18,807 --> 00:12:20,400 What does that mean ? 228 00:12:24,355 --> 00:12:26,821 What is the female vagina look like ? 229 00:12:27,176 --> 00:12:29,293 Technically I am in human resources, 230 00:12:29,307 --> 00:12:32,292 and Dwight was asking me about human anatomy. 231 00:12:33,656 --> 00:12:39,020 I'm just sad the, public school system failed him so badly. 232 00:12:39,297 --> 00:12:42,332 You know, maybe when you get really comfortable with each other, 233 00:12:42,377 --> 00:12:48,092 - you can ask for that. - Good. Good. And... 234 00:12:48,137 --> 00:12:51,412 - I should get back to work. - Ok. 235 00:12:51,667 --> 00:12:53,882 In today's fast paced business climate, 236 00:12:53,926 --> 00:12:57,541 it can sometimes be hard to know when a comment or an action, 237 00:12:57,656 --> 00:12:58,830 crosses the line. 238 00:12:59,228 --> 00:13:02,502 Let's take a look at a couple of scenarios and ask ourselves : 239 00:13:02,656 --> 00:13:04,841 "Where is the line ?" 240 00:13:06,735 --> 00:13:08,402 Natural Redhead 241 00:13:08,487 --> 00:13:11,250 -Hey Rach ! - Hey Joe, Mike ! 242 00:13:11,427 --> 00:13:15,813 Hey settle a bet : are you a natural redhead ? 243 00:13:16,215 --> 00:13:20,791 Oh my... ! Hey, stop the video ! Stop it right this, stop it right there ! 244 00:13:22,587 --> 00:13:24,820 That's the girl from that thing, 245 00:13:25,485 --> 00:13:27,162 I banged this girl, right here. 246 00:13:27,215 --> 00:13:29,520 - That's her ? - Yes, this is the one, you remember ? 247 00:13:29,556 --> 00:13:31,032 - The party ? - You banged her ? 248 00:13:31,045 --> 00:13:33,280 Right here, you are a naughty girl ! 249 00:13:33,327 --> 00:13:36,753 Ok, hypocrite, she is a hypocrite ! 250 00:13:36,966 --> 00:13:39,321 That is such a scam ! Ok ! 251 00:13:39,625 --> 00:13:44,572 Yes, yes I did. Ok. But we can talk about that later. 252 00:13:45,118 --> 00:13:48,302 You are not gonna believe this, the girl in the video we are watching, 253 00:13:48,317 --> 00:13:51,681 the corporate gave us, Darryl banged her ! 254 00:13:54,608 --> 00:13:58,690 And he's about 90% sure. 255 00:14:01,577 --> 00:14:05,571 Don't ever let this little bitch drive you around town we got lost for half an hour. 256 00:14:05,638 --> 00:14:08,512 I don't have any DUI so I can drive myself, but thanks. 257 00:14:08,726 --> 00:14:12,722 Where is Michael Snot ? Sniffing some dude stone ? 258 00:14:13,548 --> 00:14:15,121 Probably. 259 00:14:16,105 --> 00:14:20,132 So you are the lawyer, Mr. O’Malley, I know a lot of lawyer jokes. 260 00:14:20,146 --> 00:14:23,903 - I love lawyer jokes. - Well it's probably cause you don't get 'em. 261 00:14:24,225 --> 00:14:26,583 When I said before that I was king of forwards, 262 00:14:26,598 --> 00:14:29,882 you gotta understand that I don't come up with these stuff. 263 00:14:30,006 --> 00:14:32,040 I just forward it along. 264 00:14:33,078 --> 00:14:37,131 You wouldn't arrest a guy who is just delivering drugs from one guy to another. 265 00:14:37,418 --> 00:14:40,100 You seem a little bit agitated Michael what's the problem ? 266 00:14:40,198 --> 00:14:46,272 The problem is that I am the boss and apparently I can't say anything. 267 00:14:48,238 --> 00:14:53,113 Well, that's true, in a way, you can't say anything. 268 00:14:53,415 --> 00:14:55,472 Where's the line ? Where's the line Jan ? 269 00:14:55,487 --> 00:14:57,962 - Do you need to see the video again, Michael ? - No, I've seen the video. 270 00:14:57,975 --> 00:15:00,573 - He talked the all time. - No I didn't ! 271 00:15:02,607 --> 00:15:03,302 What ? 272 00:15:08,758 --> 00:15:10,370 Attention everyone, hello ? 273 00:15:10,625 --> 00:15:14,263 Yes, I just want you to know that this is not my decision, 274 00:15:14,367 --> 00:15:18,932 but from here on out, we can no longer be friends. 275 00:15:20,527 --> 00:15:27,613 And when we talk about things here, we must only discuss a work associated things. 276 00:15:27,725 --> 00:15:31,682 And you can consider this my retirement from comedy. 277 00:15:32,157 --> 00:15:36,111 And in the future if I want to say something funny, or witty, 278 00:15:36,156 --> 00:15:39,310 or do an impression, I will no longer, 279 00:15:39,427 --> 00:15:42,612 ever, do any of those things. 280 00:15:42,766 --> 00:15:47,941 - Does that include "That's what she said" ? - Yes. 281 00:15:48,007 --> 00:15:50,612 Well that is really hard. 282 00:15:51,465 --> 00:15:53,822 You really think you can go all day long ? 283 00:15:55,225 --> 00:15:59,493 Well you always leave me satisfied and smiling so. 284 00:16:00,808 --> 00:16:02,103 That's what she said ! 285 00:16:02,127 --> 00:16:04,750 Michael, Michael ! 286 00:16:04,808 --> 00:16:05,901 - Come on ! - Michael please. 287 00:16:05,926 --> 00:16:07,493 - Here he is. - Please. 288 00:16:08,727 --> 00:16:09,902 Good one ! 289 00:16:09,955 --> 00:16:12,673 You would have done the same, you just didn't think of it first. 290 00:16:12,758 --> 00:16:16,590 Michael please, that's not my sense of humor. 291 00:16:16,647 --> 00:16:21,893 Hello ! Jan, Mr. O’Malley, this is my lawyer James P. Albiny, 292 00:16:20,825 --> 00:16:21,873 Your what ? 293 00:16:21,935 --> 00:16:25,191 I believe you may recognize his face from the billboards. 294 00:16:25,406 --> 00:16:28,223 He's specializes in free speech issues. 295 00:16:28,317 --> 00:16:32,170 And motorcycle head injuries, workers comp., and die appeal lawsuits. 296 00:16:32,198 --> 00:16:34,641 - This guy does it all. - Excuse me, I'm sorry. 297 00:16:34,727 --> 00:16:37,753 Michael, Mr. O’Malley is your lawyer. 298 00:16:38,365 --> 00:16:38,992 What ? 299 00:16:39,547 --> 00:16:42,422 Mr. O’Malley is our corporate lawyer, 300 00:16:42,455 --> 00:16:45,053 we have him on retainer, to protect the company, 301 00:16:45,088 --> 00:16:48,122 as well as upper level management, such as yourself. 302 00:16:50,797 --> 00:16:51,902 So I'm not in trouble ? 303 00:16:51,958 --> 00:16:54,712 I am so used to being the bad boy. 304 00:16:54,718 --> 00:16:57,312 I am so used to fighting corporate, 305 00:16:57,347 --> 00:17:00,622 that I forget that I am corporate, upper management. 306 00:17:01,588 --> 00:17:04,960 They hooked me up with an attorney, to protect me. 307 00:17:06,646 --> 00:17:11,950 You can't be too careful about what you say, more money more problems. 308 00:17:12,648 --> 00:17:15,272 Ok well let's get you out of here James ! 309 00:17:15,338 --> 00:17:17,293 I think we're under an hour still so... 310 00:17:17,366 --> 00:17:19,681 Yeah but I did a lot of paperwork at home before I got here ! 311 00:17:19,685 --> 00:17:22,253 We'll talk about it later, thanks for coming in ! 312 00:17:26,906 --> 00:17:30,382 - Hello. - Oh my god ! 313 00:17:30,415 --> 00:17:32,211 - Hi honey ! - Hello ! 314 00:17:32,285 --> 00:17:33,280 I love my mum. 315 00:17:34,218 --> 00:17:37,353 Okay, that's probably the most obvious statement ever. 316 00:17:38,307 --> 00:17:40,340 - This is all yours ? - Yeah, I'm in charge of this... 317 00:17:40,366 --> 00:17:43,073 Oh my godness. 318 00:17:50,165 --> 00:17:51,782 So a guy goes home and tells his wife : 319 00:17:51,787 --> 00:17:54,160 "Honey, pack your bags, I just won the lottery" 320 00:17:54,176 --> 00:17:57,012 she was "Oh my god ! that's incredible, where are we going ?" 321 00:17:57,028 --> 00:18:01,130 He goes "I don't know where you're going just be out of here by five !" 322 00:18:05,877 --> 00:18:09,721 - This is where I used to keep my computer. - All right, I remember with the picture. 323 00:18:09,758 --> 00:18:13,321 Yeah, yeah but I switch stuff around because I actually needed 324 00:18:13,327 --> 00:18:16,003 like more room for organization. - Sure. 325 00:18:16,065 --> 00:18:20,672 - This is like... organization station. - Oh there he is. 326 00:18:21,085 --> 00:18:22,770 - Hey handsome. - You look great. 327 00:18:22,786 --> 00:18:26,093 Oh thank you. So, we're ready for dinner ? 328 00:18:26,317 --> 00:18:29,421 Well, you know, actually I kind of need to stall a bit 329 00:18:29,506 --> 00:18:33,191 but it's ok because I am very used to get in time. 330 00:18:34,856 --> 00:18:38,332 I'm gonna go wait in the parking lot and what kinda tunes you want for the ride ! 331 00:18:38,356 --> 00:18:41,942 - You're classical or oldies ? - Anything is fine. 332 00:18:42,498 --> 00:18:44,583 Ok, well see ya ! 333 00:18:47,578 --> 00:18:50,782 - So, which one is Jim ? - Mum ! 334 00:18:51,576 --> 00:18:53,342 - Just wanted to know. - No ! 335 00:18:53,437 --> 00:18:55,413 - All right. Ok. - Ten minutes, 336 00:18:55,505 --> 00:18:57,611 - Then we can go to dinner. - I'll make myself busy. 337 00:18:57,956 --> 00:19:00,653 There's this guy he's at a nymphomaniac convention, 338 00:19:01,068 --> 00:19:03,553 And he is psyched 'cause all these women are smoking hot 339 00:19:03,587 --> 00:19:06,843 perfect tens except for this one chick who looks a lot like... 340 00:19:07,017 --> 00:19:10,362 - Phyllis ? - No no no no, that crosses the line. 341 00:19:10,435 --> 00:19:15,923 - Ex-squeeze me ? - Not you. Kevin, 342 00:19:16,398 --> 00:19:19,743 just unwarranted it, hostile work environment Kevin. 343 00:19:19,836 --> 00:19:22,213 - Packer said it. - No, you said it. 344 00:19:22,248 --> 00:19:24,453 He pointed, a point is not a say. 345 00:19:24,587 --> 00:19:28,381 Look, Kevin, we are a family here, 346 00:19:28,838 --> 00:19:31,663 and Phyllis is a valuable member of that family, like a grand-mother. 347 00:19:31,846 --> 00:19:34,043 - I'm the same age as you Michael. - Well I don't know about that. 348 00:19:34,058 --> 00:19:36,383 - We were the same high school class. - Well, I've late birthdays, 349 00:19:36,408 --> 00:19:38,730 usually Septembers a cut off point... 350 00:19:39,087 --> 00:19:42,213 You know what you just crossed the line, ok ? 351 00:19:42,255 --> 00:19:46,140 There is a line, and you went over it, and you must be punished. 352 00:19:46,157 --> 00:19:47,590 So go to your corner. 353 00:19:48,145 --> 00:19:51,150 - You mean where my desk is ? - Yes to your corner, go. 354 00:19:51,258 --> 00:19:55,271 Ok, I have a lot of work to do anyway. 355 00:19:55,466 --> 00:19:58,783 Oh my ! They really got to you, didn't they ? 356 00:19:58,826 --> 00:20:03,651 They didn't get to me, I got to them. 357 00:20:03,895 --> 00:20:09,412 I am still the same old Michael Scott, new and improved. 358 00:20:10,158 --> 00:20:13,473 You know what ? I love Phyllis, 359 00:20:14,997 --> 00:20:18,670 you know what else ? I think she is gorgeous, 360 00:20:18,987 --> 00:20:23,370 I think she is an incredibly, incredibly attractive person. 361 00:20:24,376 --> 00:20:26,173 Come here, give me a kiss, come on ! 362 00:20:26,198 --> 00:20:31,601 Michael come on you don't have to worry I'm not gonna report you to HR. 363 00:20:29,888 --> 00:20:31,572 I'm not worried. 364 00:20:31,638 --> 00:20:37,022 You know what, the only thing I am worried about, is getting a boner. 365 00:20:38,178 --> 00:20:40,420 Good work today everybody. 366 00:20:44,827 --> 00:20:47,640 Times have changed a little. 367 00:20:48,088 --> 00:20:52,242 And even now we're still a family here at Dundler Mifflin, families grow. 368 00:20:52,907 --> 00:20:58,751 And at some point the daddy can't take a bath with the kids anymore. 369 00:20:59,237 --> 00:21:00,880 I am upper management, and 370 00:21:01,656 --> 00:21:05,543 it would be inappropriate for me to take a bath with Pam, 371 00:21:05,808 --> 00:21:07,982 as much as I might want to. 372 00:21:08,228 --> 00:21:09,573 He said what ???