1 00:00:06,548 --> 00:00:07,310 Parkour! 2 00:00:09,499 --> 00:00:10,271 Parkour! 3 00:00:10,611 --> 00:00:11,611 Parkour! 4 00:00:12,107 --> 00:00:13,763 - Extreme! - Parkour! 5 00:00:14,082 --> 00:00:15,709 This is parkour. 6 00:00:16,318 --> 00:00:18,168 Internet sensation of 2004. 7 00:00:18,599 --> 00:00:21,115 And it was in one of the Bond films. It's pretty impressive. 8 00:00:21,283 --> 00:00:24,575 The goal is to get from point A to point B as creatively as possible. 9 00:00:24,700 --> 00:00:28,206 So technically they are doing parkour as long as point A is delusion 10 00:00:28,374 --> 00:00:30,208 and point B is the hospital. 11 00:00:32,638 --> 00:00:34,103 Parkour! 12 00:00:40,023 --> 00:00:42,194 - Okay, here we go! - Andy, leapfrog! 13 00:00:42,319 --> 00:00:43,469 Do me! Do me! 14 00:00:44,746 --> 00:00:45,651 Parkour! 15 00:00:45,660 --> 00:00:47,210 -Get off! Get off! -Okay 16 00:00:51,069 --> 00:00:52,772 Jump over it. Jump over the camera. 17 00:00:53,070 --> 00:00:54,380 Jump over the camera. 18 00:00:56,361 --> 00:00:58,486 Okay, we all go together or we go one at a time. 19 00:00:58,655 --> 00:00:59,705 Here it is. 20 00:00:59,830 --> 00:01:01,651 Truck to refrigerators, 21 00:01:02,006 --> 00:01:03,116 to dumpster, 22 00:01:03,397 --> 00:01:07,307 360 spin onto the pallets, backflip gainer into the trash can. 23 00:01:07,329 --> 00:01:08,751 Yeah gainer! 24 00:01:09,040 --> 00:01:11,320 - Hardcore parkour! - Hardcore parkour! 25 00:01:11,445 --> 00:01:14,040 - I'm right behind you, Andy! Come on! - Let's do it! 26 00:01:18,491 --> 00:01:19,491 Parkour. 27 00:01:22,303 --> 00:01:24,762 - Feygnasse Team - 28 00:01:24,930 --> 00:01:27,807 - La Fabrique - 29 00:01:28,528 --> 00:01:30,685 Collioure 30 00:01:30,853 --> 00:01:32,854 Jarick 31 00:01:33,022 --> 00:01:34,439 do_Ob 32 00:01:34,607 --> 00:01:35,940 Sk0r 33 00:01:36,108 --> 00:01:37,734 yomoy 34 00:01:37,902 --> 00:01:39,419 The Ni.Knight 35 00:01:40,977 --> 00:01:42,864 Episode 6x01 Gossip 36 00:01:43,529 --> 00:01:44,529 Good. 37 00:01:46,767 --> 00:01:47,767 Excellent. 38 00:01:49,125 --> 00:01:49,954 Thank you. 39 00:01:50,920 --> 00:01:53,041 Here you go. Is there anything else I can do? 40 00:02:00,633 --> 00:02:01,675 Yes ehm. 41 00:02:03,431 --> 00:02:05,136 See those files behind Kevin's desk? 42 00:02:05,971 --> 00:02:07,733 Go put them all in random order. 43 00:02:08,780 --> 00:02:10,764 Then come back here for your next assignment 44 00:02:10,889 --> 00:02:12,347 concerning their order. 45 00:02:12,472 --> 00:02:15,172 This is the last day of our summer interns. 46 00:02:15,361 --> 00:02:18,361 It's been nice. We haven't had interns in a while 47 00:02:18,637 --> 00:02:20,777 ever since Michael's Monica Lewinsky incident. 48 00:02:21,372 --> 00:02:22,989 He didn't do anything sexual. 49 00:02:23,280 --> 00:02:26,324 He just made far, far too many Monica Lewinsky jokes. 50 00:02:26,493 --> 00:02:29,661 It was just easier for corporate to shutdown the program. 51 00:02:32,166 --> 00:02:34,284 - Think she did him? - There's something there. 52 00:02:34,409 --> 00:02:35,850 I was in the kitchen yesterday 53 00:02:35,975 --> 00:02:38,106 and they were too happy to be cleaning the freezer. 54 00:02:38,231 --> 00:02:40,713 If they get married before I do, I'm gonna kill myself. 55 00:02:40,881 --> 00:02:43,131 - Who's getting married? - Nobody. 56 00:02:43,945 --> 00:02:45,718 Somebody doesn't tell me, I'm gonna start screaming. 57 00:02:45,886 --> 00:02:46,886 Eric and Megan. 58 00:02:46,931 --> 00:02:48,517 Oh hey I hired them. 59 00:02:49,107 --> 00:02:50,153 Matchmaker. 60 00:02:51,067 --> 00:02:52,644 This place is like Spaniard fly. 61 00:02:52,769 --> 00:02:54,727 They're not getting married. It's just talk. 62 00:02:54,895 --> 00:02:56,479 Did everybody knows about this but me? 63 00:02:56,648 --> 00:02:58,523 There's nothing to know. It's gossip. 64 00:03:01,145 --> 00:03:02,163 Okey. 65 00:03:03,202 --> 00:03:04,962 We haven't told anyone that I'm pregnant. 66 00:03:05,087 --> 00:03:08,187 What with her being unmarried. Knocked up by some guy. 67 00:03:08,312 --> 00:03:10,681 The yakkity-yaks in this office would have a field day. 68 00:03:10,806 --> 00:03:12,731 We don't want them at the wedding thinking 69 00:03:12,856 --> 00:03:16,038 Jim's being marched down the aisle by my dad with a shotgun. 70 00:03:16,976 --> 00:03:19,307 Wait, there's not gonna be a shotgun? 71 00:03:19,432 --> 00:03:20,482 No shotgun? 72 00:03:20,697 --> 00:03:24,278 - 'Cause that changes everything. - Can't back out now, Halpert. 73 00:03:24,403 --> 00:03:27,803 What are you gonna do about it? There's no shotgun, so... 74 00:03:28,941 --> 00:03:30,791 Free at last. Free at last. 75 00:03:32,297 --> 00:03:33,547 No, keep it up. 76 00:03:34,959 --> 00:03:36,724 You'll never guess what I know. 77 00:03:36,849 --> 00:03:38,271 Let me finish this thought. 78 00:03:38,547 --> 00:03:39,897 Eric likes Megan. 79 00:03:41,209 --> 00:03:42,525 He most definitely does. 80 00:03:42,694 --> 00:03:45,862 He's been asking her out for weeks. She finally said yes. 81 00:03:46,030 --> 00:03:49,365 They went out the other night. Apparently it went very well. 82 00:03:49,966 --> 00:03:52,072 - How do you know this? - People tell me things. 83 00:03:52,197 --> 00:03:54,132 I guess I have a face you can trust. 84 00:03:54,257 --> 00:03:56,936 I think it's because of my low cheekbones. 85 00:03:57,061 --> 00:03:58,230 And... 86 00:03:58,728 --> 00:04:00,877 Okay, what is it? What can't I guess? 87 00:04:01,814 --> 00:04:04,170 I hate, hate, hate being left out. 88 00:04:04,754 --> 00:04:07,483 Whether it's not being picked for a team 89 00:04:07,608 --> 00:04:10,141 or being picked for a team and then showing up 90 00:04:10,266 --> 00:04:12,866 and realizing that the team doesn't exist 91 00:04:13,487 --> 00:04:15,587 or that the sport doesn't exist. 92 00:04:16,202 --> 00:04:18,202 I should have known. Poopball? 93 00:04:20,232 --> 00:04:22,459 Man, I know how you feel. Third wheel. 94 00:04:22,584 --> 00:04:25,401 I have been the third wheel so many times in my life. 95 00:04:26,387 --> 00:04:29,536 My mom told me something once that made me feel better. She said... 96 00:04:29,661 --> 00:04:32,611 the third wheel is what makes it a tricycle. 97 00:04:33,369 --> 00:04:36,454 - What are you talking about? - Your group date with Megan and Eric. 98 00:04:36,622 --> 00:04:39,207 At Tink's? How'd you know about that? 99 00:04:39,375 --> 00:04:40,925 Did Stanley tell you? 100 00:04:41,169 --> 00:04:43,711 Stanley was on your group date? 101 00:04:43,880 --> 00:04:47,632 No, Stanley was with his wife. I waved at him but he didn't wave back. 102 00:04:50,014 --> 00:04:52,214 Does anybody else know about this? 103 00:04:55,849 --> 00:04:57,049 There he goes. 104 00:04:59,793 --> 00:05:02,843 So what is the scuttlebutt? Anybody hear anything? 105 00:05:05,089 --> 00:05:05,983 Nothing? 106 00:05:06,151 --> 00:05:08,316 I got a little something-something. 107 00:05:08,441 --> 00:05:11,221 - I don't know if I should say. - So just keep it to yourself then. 108 00:05:11,346 --> 00:05:13,574 Stanley is having a midlife crisis. 109 00:05:13,742 --> 00:05:15,646 Stanley is way past the middle of his life, 110 00:05:15,771 --> 00:05:17,578 considering his height to weight ratio. 111 00:05:17,747 --> 00:05:20,122 Apparently he and his wife 112 00:05:20,247 --> 00:05:22,917 were out dancing at a club for young people. 113 00:05:23,085 --> 00:05:24,585 Teri's out of town. 114 00:05:24,753 --> 00:05:26,737 - Who? - Stanley's wife, Teri. 115 00:05:26,862 --> 00:05:29,549 She's at an interior decorating expo in Philly. 116 00:05:29,895 --> 00:05:32,545 And Stanley hates crowds, kids, and music. 117 00:05:32,895 --> 00:05:35,195 I think you should check your facts. 118 00:05:41,987 --> 00:05:45,148 You stupid son of a bitch. You set me up. 119 00:05:45,555 --> 00:05:48,192 - What are you talking about? - Stanley's wife is out of town. 120 00:05:48,360 --> 00:05:50,381 - He was with somebody. - Definitely. 121 00:05:50,506 --> 00:05:52,761 Was he? Who, his sister? 122 00:05:54,230 --> 00:05:55,241 I don't get it! 123 00:05:56,037 --> 00:05:59,256 If that was his sister, then what they were doing was illegal. 124 00:05:59,946 --> 00:06:00,746 Drugs? 125 00:06:02,375 --> 00:06:03,421 Making out. 126 00:06:15,854 --> 00:06:17,019 No, it's okay. 127 00:06:17,745 --> 00:06:19,056 Never mind. Carry on. 128 00:06:19,224 --> 00:06:21,124 Stanley is having an affair. 129 00:06:21,249 --> 00:06:22,393 - What? - I know. 130 00:06:22,518 --> 00:06:24,293 I am very happy right now, 131 00:06:24,418 --> 00:06:25,918 thrilled perhaps, 132 00:06:26,198 --> 00:06:29,275 to be a part of the office, to be a part of the conversation. 133 00:06:29,443 --> 00:06:32,854 When you have somebody's attention and their eyes are lighting up 134 00:06:32,979 --> 00:06:35,722 because they are very interested in what you have to say, 135 00:06:35,847 --> 00:06:39,331 that is a great feeling and I experienced that firsthand today. 136 00:06:39,456 --> 00:06:42,580 It is wonderful to be the center of attention. 137 00:06:42,749 --> 00:06:44,945 That and that are the same letter. 138 00:06:45,070 --> 00:06:46,070 "Q". 139 00:06:46,667 --> 00:06:48,667 No...no 140 00:06:48,980 --> 00:06:50,498 Okey. He's holding a pencil. 141 00:06:50,623 --> 00:06:53,132 He could be doing a crossword puzzle with that pencil. 142 00:06:53,300 --> 00:06:56,720 What's that letter right there? Same letter here and here. 143 00:06:56,845 --> 00:06:58,638 - What haven't you guessed? - "T". 144 00:06:58,806 --> 00:06:59,964 "T", yes! 145 00:07:00,830 --> 00:07:01,582 Yes! 146 00:07:01,767 --> 00:07:03,501 That is a "t" 147 00:07:03,626 --> 00:07:05,926 and there's another one right there. 148 00:07:06,146 --> 00:07:08,648 Just sound that out. You're almost there. 149 00:07:09,413 --> 00:07:10,404 Hey Stanley. 150 00:07:10,755 --> 00:07:12,818 Where you going, big guy? Up to no good? 151 00:07:12,986 --> 00:07:14,987 I'm meeting a client. Do you have a problem? 152 00:07:15,141 --> 00:07:15,869 No no no 153 00:07:15,910 --> 00:07:19,354 I just had a quick question for you. I'm casting 154 00:07:19,479 --> 00:07:22,234 a movie and I'm looking for a woman who can dance. 155 00:07:22,359 --> 00:07:24,414 Beautiful woman. Do you know anybody? 156 00:07:24,539 --> 00:07:25,456 Good-bye. 157 00:07:25,743 --> 00:07:27,043 Pays $5 million. 158 00:07:27,441 --> 00:07:28,741 Nudity required. 159 00:07:29,044 --> 00:07:30,294 You have to stop this. 160 00:07:30,462 --> 00:07:32,421 Did you hear? Stanley's having an affair. 161 00:07:32,589 --> 00:07:35,091 I did from you. You got to stop telling people. 162 00:07:35,259 --> 00:07:36,280 Okay, I get it. 163 00:07:36,405 --> 00:07:38,681 You feel out of the loop and sorry for yourself 164 00:07:38,806 --> 00:07:41,138 and it's really sad, everybody thinks you're a loser. 165 00:07:41,306 --> 00:07:44,266 Do you even know if it's true? Do you have any idea? Because... 166 00:07:44,546 --> 00:07:46,185 you might be ruining his life. 167 00:07:52,120 --> 00:07:53,470 Hold up! Hold up! 168 00:07:55,989 --> 00:07:58,072 Time to stop being polite and get real. 169 00:07:58,671 --> 00:08:00,801 Stanley, you having an affair? 170 00:08:02,202 --> 00:08:05,547 That is ridiculous. Of course not. Why would you think that? 171 00:08:05,672 --> 00:08:07,022 So it's not true. 172 00:08:07,306 --> 00:08:07,816 well 173 00:08:10,656 --> 00:08:14,547 Those interns. They told me they saw you at the club 174 00:08:14,715 --> 00:08:17,865 and they all said it was you. It was clearly just... 175 00:08:18,991 --> 00:08:20,873 racial profiling gossip. 176 00:08:20,998 --> 00:08:22,655 - The little... - Damn! 177 00:08:23,537 --> 00:08:27,059 - Told her it was a stupid idea. - That's so stupid. 178 00:08:27,394 --> 00:08:28,744 It's just that... 179 00:08:29,626 --> 00:08:32,565 - Teri's been traveling a lot lately. - I know. 180 00:08:32,733 --> 00:08:34,967 - It's been lonely. - I bet. 181 00:08:35,360 --> 00:08:37,319 Cynthia's been keeping me company. 182 00:08:37,487 --> 00:08:38,955 She was my nurse 183 00:08:39,080 --> 00:08:41,030 when I was in rehabilitation. 184 00:08:41,201 --> 00:08:44,493 We used to go on these long walks on the treadmill. 185 00:08:46,781 --> 00:08:48,206 I didn't intend... 186 00:08:48,331 --> 00:08:49,681 Wait, wait, wait. 187 00:08:52,077 --> 00:08:53,044 So it is true? 188 00:08:53,212 --> 00:08:54,842 But I'm going to go break it off. 189 00:08:54,967 --> 00:08:57,256 That's where I'm headed right now, I swear. 190 00:08:57,424 --> 00:08:59,724 Wait a second. Do people often say they're going 191 00:08:59,849 --> 00:09:02,117 on sales calls and then go someplace else? 192 00:09:02,242 --> 00:09:03,262 That's not cool. 193 00:09:03,430 --> 00:09:07,373 I just need you to promise not to say a word about this to anyone. 194 00:09:08,434 --> 00:09:09,602 Michael, please. 195 00:09:09,770 --> 00:09:12,813 - I'm not saying a damn thing. - I'm counting on you, Michael. 196 00:09:13,047 --> 00:09:14,886 Okay You can count on me. 197 00:09:20,266 --> 00:09:21,620 Oh that smells good. 198 00:09:21,745 --> 00:09:24,818 I might have extra. It just depends on how many I eat. 199 00:09:24,986 --> 00:09:26,987 Did you hear about Angela? That's pretty weird. 200 00:09:27,093 --> 00:09:27,866 Yeah 201 00:09:29,197 --> 00:09:30,574 What do you mean exactly? 202 00:09:30,697 --> 00:09:33,362 Well, the fact that she apparently is dating 203 00:09:33,487 --> 00:09:35,507 an 81-year-old billionaire 204 00:09:35,984 --> 00:09:37,831 who owns a Quiznos on the turnpike. 205 00:09:38,346 --> 00:09:39,124 Really? 206 00:09:41,378 --> 00:09:42,101 Right? 207 00:09:42,226 --> 00:09:44,331 How do you untell something? 208 00:09:44,456 --> 00:09:45,456 You can't. 209 00:09:46,253 --> 00:09:48,466 You can't put words back in your mouth. 210 00:09:48,591 --> 00:09:49,841 What you can do 211 00:09:50,776 --> 00:09:52,842 is spread false gossip 212 00:09:53,904 --> 00:09:57,101 so that people think that everything that's been said is untrue, 213 00:09:57,226 --> 00:09:59,676 including Stanley is having an affair. 214 00:10:01,396 --> 00:10:05,292 It's like the end of Spartacus. I've seen that movie half a dozen times 215 00:10:05,417 --> 00:10:08,096 and I still don't know who the real Spartacus is. 216 00:10:08,221 --> 00:10:11,871 And that is what makes that movie a classic whodunit. 217 00:10:12,909 --> 00:10:15,660 Kelly has an eating disorder. She always eats my lunch. 218 00:10:15,828 --> 00:10:17,464 Anorexia. She's ana... 219 00:10:17,589 --> 00:10:19,039 She's an "anorexitec." 220 00:10:19,207 --> 00:10:21,487 - We should do something. - Nothing can be done. 221 00:10:21,612 --> 00:10:24,152 Just have to tell everybody and hope for the best, I guess. 222 00:10:25,784 --> 00:10:27,005 I'm worried about Erin 223 00:10:27,479 --> 00:10:30,944 because she's not a very good worker. I don't know how long she's gonna last. 224 00:10:31,069 --> 00:10:32,069 Really? 225 00:10:33,283 --> 00:10:34,033 So... 226 00:10:34,158 --> 00:10:35,208 And Andy... 227 00:10:35,452 --> 00:10:36,397 is gay. 228 00:10:38,559 --> 00:10:40,101 Did you hear Pam is pregnant? 229 00:10:41,709 --> 00:10:42,646 Really? 230 00:10:44,633 --> 00:10:46,408 She's gonna hate being a mom. 231 00:10:53,527 --> 00:10:54,449 What? 232 00:10:54,617 --> 00:10:55,617 Tea. 233 00:10:56,244 --> 00:10:57,826 - So? - You would. 234 00:10:58,447 --> 00:10:59,497 I like tea. 235 00:11:00,357 --> 00:11:01,757 I bet you like it. 236 00:11:03,626 --> 00:11:05,181 I like it a lot. 237 00:11:05,306 --> 00:11:06,633 I love tea. 238 00:11:06,758 --> 00:11:09,923 Do you like it as much as you like men's butts? 239 00:11:10,132 --> 00:11:10,892 What? 240 00:11:11,532 --> 00:11:12,929 'Cause you're gay. 241 00:11:14,917 --> 00:11:16,317 Who told you that? 242 00:11:17,271 --> 00:11:18,431 Was it Broccoli Rob? 243 00:11:19,122 --> 00:11:20,672 Someone from Chi Psi? 244 00:11:20,893 --> 00:11:22,781 Did you run in someone from my high school? 245 00:11:22,906 --> 00:11:24,270 This is not the first time 246 00:11:24,438 --> 00:11:26,938 rumors about me being gay have come up. 247 00:11:27,309 --> 00:11:28,959 Twice before, actually. 248 00:11:29,840 --> 00:11:31,590 Just a weird coincidence. 249 00:11:32,919 --> 00:11:34,619 It's a little too weird. 250 00:11:37,808 --> 00:11:40,857 Almost makes you wonder if it's not a coincidence at all. 251 00:11:41,661 --> 00:11:43,021 Which it is, of course. 252 00:11:44,806 --> 00:11:46,222 But it makes you wonder. 253 00:11:47,336 --> 00:11:49,040 Did you hear the rumor about me? 254 00:11:49,839 --> 00:11:50,989 That I'm gay? 255 00:11:51,253 --> 00:11:52,098 I did. 256 00:11:53,372 --> 00:11:54,372 And? 257 00:11:54,935 --> 00:11:55,935 What? 258 00:11:57,359 --> 00:12:00,309 Do you think it's true? Do you think that I'm... 259 00:12:00,740 --> 00:12:01,516 gay? 260 00:12:01,684 --> 00:12:03,143 Are you attracted to other men? 261 00:12:06,026 --> 00:12:08,276 No...but 262 00:12:08,691 --> 00:12:10,108 Let me kick you a scenario. 263 00:12:10,276 --> 00:12:12,353 I'm at, like, a beach cabana 264 00:12:12,478 --> 00:12:14,529 and Brad Pitt approaches, 265 00:12:14,697 --> 00:12:16,647 tries to lean in and kiss me. 266 00:12:18,497 --> 00:12:20,641 I would definitely resist, 267 00:12:20,766 --> 00:12:21,908 like, at first. 268 00:12:22,530 --> 00:12:24,280 But if he was persistent, 269 00:12:25,174 --> 00:12:26,300 I might... 270 00:12:26,425 --> 00:12:29,544 give in a little bit to just really see what it felt like. 271 00:12:30,277 --> 00:12:31,938 Would I push him away? 272 00:12:32,063 --> 00:12:33,063 How hard? 273 00:12:33,670 --> 00:12:36,051 Like, what if he's, like, really aggressive? 274 00:12:36,219 --> 00:12:38,849 If you resisted Brad Pitt a little bit, 275 00:12:38,974 --> 00:12:40,324 he would still... 276 00:12:41,048 --> 00:12:43,619 - need to get to you? - This is not real Brad Pitt. 277 00:12:43,744 --> 00:12:46,330 This is, like, in my... This is my fantasy. 278 00:12:46,455 --> 00:12:49,113 Or it's, like, not fantasy. It's, like, what I'm... 279 00:12:49,238 --> 00:12:50,398 It's just a scenario. 280 00:12:52,428 --> 00:12:54,370 I wish I could help you. I don't... 281 00:12:54,495 --> 00:12:55,653 You might be gay. 282 00:12:56,058 --> 00:12:57,408 You might be gay. 283 00:12:59,356 --> 00:13:01,856 What exactly is my responsibility here? 284 00:13:02,036 --> 00:13:04,477 To comfort insecure heterosexual men? 285 00:13:04,602 --> 00:13:06,623 That can't possibly fall to me. 286 00:13:06,791 --> 00:13:08,291 - How far is Pam? - A few months. 287 00:13:08,459 --> 00:13:10,758 That's why they're rushing the wedding. 288 00:13:10,883 --> 00:13:12,634 You can't believe everything you hear. 289 00:13:12,759 --> 00:13:14,759 Like Stanley having an affair. 290 00:13:15,035 --> 00:13:16,235 That is crazy. 291 00:13:16,475 --> 00:13:18,267 Just there's no stock in it. 292 00:13:18,392 --> 00:13:20,403 It's a weird day for false facts. 293 00:13:20,528 --> 00:13:21,387 Let it go. 294 00:13:21,762 --> 00:13:23,028 OK, everybody. 295 00:13:23,337 --> 00:13:25,975 Big day. Last day for our interns. 296 00:13:26,284 --> 00:13:27,685 Lot of other stuff. 297 00:13:27,853 --> 00:13:30,097 Who knows what to believe? 298 00:13:30,717 --> 00:13:32,167 Dwight, the honors. 299 00:13:33,135 --> 00:13:35,860 Present these to the dean for credit. 300 00:13:36,420 --> 00:13:38,257 And as a gift, I've attached my card. 301 00:13:38,382 --> 00:13:40,281 Call me anytime of the day or night. 302 00:13:40,683 --> 00:13:42,370 Why would we call you at night? 303 00:13:42,989 --> 00:13:45,501 Now you can't call me at all, so problem solved. 304 00:13:45,626 --> 00:13:48,804 You will regret when you find yourself between a moose and her cubs. 305 00:13:49,479 --> 00:13:51,084 Look to the intern on your left. 306 00:13:51,444 --> 00:13:52,556 Now to your right. 307 00:13:52,681 --> 00:13:54,768 One of you will do exceedingly well in business. 308 00:13:55,131 --> 00:13:56,590 Just unlimited potential. 309 00:13:57,078 --> 00:13:59,978 One of you will make a living and nothing more. 310 00:14:00,476 --> 00:14:01,676 And one of you 311 00:14:01,804 --> 00:14:03,802 will make a great mother. 312 00:14:05,619 --> 00:14:08,542 It's up to you to choose which you want to be. 313 00:14:10,917 --> 00:14:12,725 I am so happy you're eating again. 314 00:14:12,850 --> 00:14:13,850 Me too. 315 00:14:14,144 --> 00:14:16,693 Dude, how come you never try to set me up? 316 00:14:16,861 --> 00:14:20,029 I don't really do that. Pam might have some friends though. 317 00:14:20,197 --> 00:14:21,397 Women friends? 318 00:14:21,947 --> 00:14:23,152 Not guy friends? 319 00:14:23,656 --> 00:14:25,827 Are you interested in her guy friends? 320 00:14:27,002 --> 00:14:29,102 For the record, I prefer women. 321 00:14:29,227 --> 00:14:31,541 But off the record, I'm kind of confused. 322 00:14:32,266 --> 00:14:33,168 Really? 323 00:14:33,336 --> 00:14:35,219 The evidence is stacked against me, 324 00:14:35,344 --> 00:14:36,379 I feel like. 325 00:14:36,547 --> 00:14:39,716 - You got to figure this out. - Yeah, right? How? 326 00:14:39,884 --> 00:14:41,592 You got to have sex with a woman. 327 00:14:42,321 --> 00:14:45,054 - Right-o. - And then a man and then compare. 328 00:14:48,251 --> 00:14:49,251 All right. 329 00:14:49,477 --> 00:14:50,380 well.. hey 330 00:14:50,606 --> 00:14:52,581 - Congratulations to you. - On what? 331 00:14:53,434 --> 00:14:54,434 Come on. 332 00:14:55,093 --> 00:14:56,265 Little baby tuna. 333 00:14:56,898 --> 00:14:58,924 Little junior toro. 334 00:15:02,281 --> 00:15:05,174 A baby conceived out of wedlock is still a bastard. 335 00:15:05,873 --> 00:15:06,618 What? 336 00:15:07,238 --> 00:15:08,453 Want me to say it again? 337 00:15:08,621 --> 00:15:10,872 - Why did that come into your brain? - Can I talk to you? 338 00:15:13,257 --> 00:15:14,667 So they know. 339 00:15:14,835 --> 00:15:17,086 - Who did you tell? - I didn't tell anyone. And you? 340 00:15:17,254 --> 00:15:18,241 Nobody. 341 00:15:18,366 --> 00:15:22,033 Did one of you tell Stanley that I have asthma, 'cause I don't. 342 00:15:22,356 --> 00:15:24,636 If it gets out, they won't let me scuba. 343 00:15:24,804 --> 00:15:26,154 If I can't scuba, 344 00:15:26,537 --> 00:15:29,724 then what's this all been about? What am I working toward? 345 00:15:29,892 --> 00:15:30,683 What? 346 00:15:31,103 --> 00:15:33,491 You think I'm the voice of the Taco Bell Dog? 347 00:15:34,356 --> 00:15:35,563 What are you talking about? 348 00:15:35,731 --> 00:15:38,171 I have a daughter. How could I be a virgin? 349 00:15:38,296 --> 00:15:41,569 Has everyone heard a crazy rumor about themselves today? 350 00:15:43,018 --> 00:15:45,168 You know what? Let's discredit these rumors. 351 00:15:45,293 --> 00:15:47,450 Sure, but who's been saying all that stuff? 352 00:15:47,618 --> 00:15:50,828 That's not important, We shouldn't listen to this crap. 353 00:15:50,890 --> 00:15:52,705 Sure, but we should get to the bottom of this. 354 00:15:52,873 --> 00:15:54,707 Let's pick a rumor and trace it back to the beginning. 355 00:15:54,875 --> 00:15:56,575 I need to do mine first. 356 00:15:56,915 --> 00:16:00,518 Who's been saying that there's another person inside of me 357 00:16:00,643 --> 00:16:02,779 working me with controls? 358 00:16:03,175 --> 00:16:04,926 I heard that from Andy. 359 00:16:05,422 --> 00:16:06,972 I heard it from Erin. 360 00:16:07,911 --> 00:16:09,611 I heard it from Michael. 361 00:16:10,401 --> 00:16:11,130 Michael? 362 00:16:14,763 --> 00:16:15,664 Michael? 363 00:16:16,939 --> 00:16:18,189 He's over here! 364 00:16:18,805 --> 00:16:20,113 - Where you going? - Nowhere. 365 00:16:20,630 --> 00:16:21,592 Michael. 366 00:16:25,154 --> 00:16:27,725 You told people that I use store-bought manure 367 00:16:29,112 --> 00:16:31,795 when I showed you where my manure comes from. 368 00:16:35,893 --> 00:16:37,799 - Don't get on it. - Michael, don't. 369 00:16:37,967 --> 00:16:39,377 Don't get on. 370 00:16:39,803 --> 00:16:40,803 Do not. 371 00:16:41,679 --> 00:16:43,596 - Stay, Michael. - Step away. 372 00:16:43,818 --> 00:16:45,018 Come on, boss. 373 00:16:47,697 --> 00:16:49,293 Okay, I made it all up. 374 00:16:49,418 --> 00:16:50,388 What? 375 00:16:50,513 --> 00:16:52,438 Even the fact that I'm gay? 376 00:16:52,444 --> 00:16:53,541 -Yes -Yes 377 00:16:53,983 --> 00:16:56,133 But, guys, I'm a victim here too. 378 00:16:56,493 --> 00:16:57,075 Okay? 379 00:16:57,111 --> 00:16:59,403 People have been saying that I am a J. Crew model. 380 00:16:59,571 --> 00:17:01,364 No, we heard that about Jim. 381 00:17:01,608 --> 00:17:02,736 Jim? No no 382 00:17:02,829 --> 00:17:05,337 I spread the rumor that somebody was a J. Crew model 383 00:17:05,462 --> 00:17:07,036 and I was referring to myself. 384 00:17:07,204 --> 00:17:10,611 - How is that a bad rumor? - 'Cause people think that models, 385 00:17:10,736 --> 00:17:13,888 even though they're very attractive are somewhat vapid. 386 00:17:14,013 --> 00:17:15,711 It set our industry back quite a bit. 387 00:17:15,879 --> 00:17:18,214 Michael, why? Why say all these things? 388 00:17:18,339 --> 00:17:21,143 Why make up an eating disorder, Stanley's affair, 389 00:17:21,268 --> 00:17:22,717 me being a spokes dog? 390 00:17:22,886 --> 00:17:25,096 You told everyone I was having an affair? 391 00:17:25,514 --> 00:17:26,683 Here's the thing. 392 00:17:27,808 --> 00:17:29,757 There was one true rumor out there today. 393 00:17:29,882 --> 00:17:32,273 I didn't want everybody to know what it was, 394 00:17:32,398 --> 00:17:35,815 so all of you are off the hook except for this one person. 395 00:17:35,983 --> 00:17:37,958 Well, then what's the one true rumor? 396 00:17:38,083 --> 00:17:39,783 We have a right to know. 397 00:17:40,997 --> 00:17:41,997 Am I gay? 398 00:17:43,490 --> 00:17:44,863 The one true rumor... 399 00:17:45,530 --> 00:17:47,488 This is gonna ruin this person's life, is... 400 00:17:47,613 --> 00:17:48,867 That Pam's pregnant. 401 00:17:48,992 --> 00:17:50,792 - I knew it. - I knew it. 402 00:17:51,298 --> 00:17:53,624 Her breasts were a tiny bit bigger. 403 00:17:53,792 --> 00:17:55,163 At first I thought, 404 00:17:55,624 --> 00:17:57,496 she has a new bra with padding. 405 00:17:57,621 --> 00:18:01,119 But then I thought, Pam doesn't need padding. 406 00:18:01,759 --> 00:18:03,609 It just didn't add up, Jim. 407 00:18:04,881 --> 00:18:06,740 - Congratulations. - That's really great. 408 00:18:06,865 --> 00:18:08,598 - Don't vaccinate it. - Who's the father? 409 00:18:09,409 --> 00:18:11,256 - How far along? - Four months. 410 00:18:11,381 --> 00:18:12,951 - Who's the ob-gyn? - Stop. 411 00:18:13,076 --> 00:18:14,495 All right, you know... 412 00:18:14,964 --> 00:18:16,387 This is not the truth 413 00:18:16,512 --> 00:18:18,635 and you can't fall on a sword this way. 414 00:18:19,068 --> 00:18:21,027 The real thing is that Stanley Hudson 415 00:18:21,195 --> 00:18:22,366 had an affair. 416 00:18:23,886 --> 00:18:27,477 Thank you to defend us, but actually, Pam is pregnant and we can prove it. 417 00:18:27,602 --> 00:18:29,652 If you would like to see proof. 418 00:18:31,167 --> 00:18:33,789 - Just gonna wait for her? - What's the "proof" mean? 419 00:18:38,217 --> 00:18:39,836 - There it is! - It's true! 420 00:18:39,937 --> 00:18:41,932 Pam! Look at that! 421 00:18:42,593 --> 00:18:45,013 That is the inside of your vagina. 422 00:18:45,138 --> 00:18:46,928 That's not how it works, but... 423 00:18:47,096 --> 00:18:49,838 It's clear why we were trying not to tell people. 424 00:18:50,193 --> 00:18:51,351 That's clear now. 425 00:18:57,323 --> 00:18:59,802 How long have you known about the pregnancy? 426 00:19:00,734 --> 00:19:01,934 A week? Month? 427 00:19:03,057 --> 00:19:03,861 A year? 428 00:19:04,540 --> 00:19:06,614 We only told our parents last week. 429 00:19:06,782 --> 00:19:09,005 - Did you pee on a stick? - I did. 430 00:19:09,453 --> 00:19:10,743 But it was inconclusive. 431 00:19:11,367 --> 00:19:12,620 You should have told me. 432 00:19:14,749 --> 00:19:15,899 You're right. 433 00:19:16,299 --> 00:19:19,001 We should have realized that you are an equal part of this. 434 00:19:21,723 --> 00:19:22,183 Yes 435 00:19:22,415 --> 00:19:25,015 Michael, Teri Hudson returning your call. 436 00:19:25,610 --> 00:19:27,218 You called Stanley's wife? 437 00:19:29,306 --> 00:19:32,036 Yeah, a long time ago. Just to make sure she was out of town. 438 00:19:32,161 --> 00:19:33,766 - God. - Don't take it. 439 00:19:33,934 --> 00:19:35,698 I have to take it or it'll seem suspicious. 440 00:19:35,823 --> 00:19:38,084 If you talk to her, you're gonna tell her about Stanley 441 00:19:38,209 --> 00:19:40,773 - and that's gonna seem more suspicious. - I can do this. 442 00:19:40,941 --> 00:19:43,827 - You can't do this. - I can. I am going to tell her 443 00:19:43,952 --> 00:19:47,220 that I need to redecorate my condo and I need her help. 444 00:19:47,345 --> 00:19:50,149 We will haggle about money and I will back down 445 00:19:50,274 --> 00:19:53,494 and then I won't talk to her until this Cynthia thing's blown over. 446 00:19:53,662 --> 00:19:55,577 - Sounds terrible. - Please don't. 447 00:19:56,212 --> 00:19:57,514 What up, Cynthia? 448 00:20:04,847 --> 00:20:06,595 Just hang on a second, Cynthia. 449 00:20:16,685 --> 00:20:18,795 It turns out that Teri was already suspicious 450 00:20:18,920 --> 00:20:21,169 because she had caught Stanley 451 00:20:21,294 --> 00:20:23,062 and Cynthia a few months ago. 452 00:20:23,363 --> 00:20:24,813 So Stanley promised 453 00:20:25,386 --> 00:20:27,319 that he would stop and he did. 454 00:20:27,444 --> 00:20:28,994 End of story. Well... 455 00:20:29,476 --> 00:20:30,775 not exactly. 456 00:20:32,117 --> 00:20:33,743 Cynthia kept calling him. 457 00:20:33,911 --> 00:20:36,496 She would not stop calling him and she was in love with him. 458 00:20:36,621 --> 00:20:37,538 And get this. 459 00:20:37,706 --> 00:20:39,306 Cynthia? Also married. 460 00:20:39,689 --> 00:20:40,690 So... 461 00:20:41,293 --> 00:20:43,864 you can't stop love, I guess. 462 00:20:44,452 --> 00:20:45,734 And quite frankly, 463 00:20:45,859 --> 00:20:48,359 I don't think you should ever even try. 464 00:20:51,928 --> 00:20:54,329 I learned that a company can describe an internship 465 00:20:54,454 --> 00:20:56,604 as full of exciting experiences, 466 00:20:57,442 --> 00:20:58,696 even if that's a lie. 467 00:20:58,821 --> 00:21:00,435 There's no regulation. 468 00:21:00,560 --> 00:21:02,676 I learned that half these people's email password 469 00:21:02,801 --> 00:21:04,001 is "password." 470 00:21:04,316 --> 00:21:07,451 I learned that a ream of paper is 300 sheets. 471 00:21:07,576 --> 00:21:09,126 I thought it was 500. 472 00:21:11,613 --> 00:21:13,535 I guess I didn't learn anything. 473 00:21:14,850 --> 00:21:17,413 I learned that if you look even the tiniest bit like Jet Li 474 00:21:18,238 --> 00:21:20,855 Michael will call you Jet Li all summer. 475 00:21:21,022 --> 00:21:23,175 - Julia Stiles. - Alan Thicke.