1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:02,254 Everybody, can I please have your attention? 2 00:00:02,374 --> 00:00:04,894 Ryan and I have a huge announcement. 3 00:00:05,014 --> 00:00:08,014 Oh my gosh. Wow. 4 00:00:08,134 --> 00:00:11,197 Over the weekend, Ryan Bailey Howard and I got divorced. 5 00:00:11,317 --> 00:00:13,521 - Sweet. - Free ring. 6 00:00:14,250 --> 00:00:14,989 Divorced? 7 00:00:15,109 --> 00:00:17,629 Just so you know, it's totally amicable. We're fine. 8 00:00:17,696 --> 00:00:19,631 We don't need people here to take sides. 9 00:00:19,698 --> 00:00:21,833 The last thing that we want is any kind of drama. 10 00:00:21,901 --> 00:00:23,902 Wait, I... Can you back up? 11 00:00:23,969 --> 00:00:25,236 What's the story? 12 00:00:25,304 --> 00:00:27,071 We were having a beautiful weekend in the Poconos. 13 00:00:27,139 --> 00:00:29,073 We were making love constantly. 14 00:00:29,141 --> 00:00:31,809 We saw the sun rise, and Ryan was crying a lot. 15 00:00:31,877 --> 00:00:33,545 - That's not a relevant detail. - And in the morning, 16 00:00:33,612 --> 00:00:36,080 we walked by a chapel and we stopped suddenly, 17 00:00:36,148 --> 00:00:37,582 and Ryan said... 18 00:00:37,650 --> 00:00:39,651 "I don't think I should be married to you anymore." 19 00:00:41,086 --> 00:00:42,420 Wait, wha... 20 00:00:42,488 --> 00:00:44,255 Sorry, when did you get married? 21 00:00:44,323 --> 00:00:45,757 Um, like a week ago. 22 00:00:45,824 --> 00:00:47,358 We got really wasted, and it just felt right. 23 00:00:47,426 --> 00:00:49,127 And you didn't invite any of us? 24 00:00:49,195 --> 00:00:50,695 We are getting divorced, Andy! 25 00:00:50,763 --> 00:00:53,331 This is such a raw time. 26 00:00:53,399 --> 00:00:54,966 God, baby, you know, with people's reactions to this, 27 00:00:55,034 --> 00:00:56,668 I wonder if we made a mistake. 28 00:00:56,735 --> 00:00:59,204 No, with the messed-up laws in this country, 29 00:00:59,271 --> 00:01:02,840 I don't want to be married until everyone can be married. 30 00:01:02,908 --> 00:01:03,908 You know what, Ryan? 31 00:01:03,976 --> 00:01:05,210 I talked to the other gay guys, 32 00:01:05,277 --> 00:01:06,611 and we're okay with it. 33 00:01:06,679 --> 00:01:07,879 We all agreed it's fine for you to get married. 34 00:01:07,947 --> 00:01:08,913 No. No, Oscar. 35 00:01:08,981 --> 00:01:10,815 Not... not until everyone can. 36 00:01:10,883 --> 00:01:12,383 Ryan, I changed my mind. 37 00:01:12,451 --> 00:01:13,518 Okay, fine. You know what? 38 00:01:13,586 --> 00:01:14,819 This actually isn't amicable at all, 39 00:01:14,887 --> 00:01:17,222 and we actually do need people to take sides. 40 00:01:17,289 --> 00:01:18,356 Who's on my side? 41 00:01:20,259 --> 00:01:22,994 And who is on my side? 42 00:01:30,135 --> 00:01:40,042 Sync by honeybunny www.addic7ed.com 43 00:01:48,120 --> 00:01:49,320 All right, bye. 44 00:01:49,388 --> 00:01:50,555 - Bye. - Let's go. 45 00:01:50,623 --> 00:01:51,756 Just a minute! 46 00:01:51,824 --> 00:01:54,058 - How long do we have to wait? - For what? 47 00:01:54,126 --> 00:01:56,127 You broke up with A.J. weeks ago. 48 00:01:56,195 --> 00:01:58,363 Don't you have a sales call to go on? 49 00:01:58,430 --> 00:02:00,198 I don't understand. I really don't, I mean... 50 00:02:00,266 --> 00:02:02,667 We know we're gonna start dating... Why not now? 51 00:02:02,735 --> 00:02:04,269 - We don't know that. - Sure we do. 52 00:02:04,336 --> 00:02:05,436 Why is it such a certainty 53 00:02:05,504 --> 00:02:06,738 that we're supposed to be together? 54 00:02:06,805 --> 00:02:08,506 Why does the sun rise in the morning? 55 00:02:08,574 --> 00:02:10,341 Why do magnets stick together? 56 00:02:10,409 --> 00:02:13,044 Because everybody says so. Everybody. 57 00:02:13,112 --> 00:02:15,280 Michael, I can't keep getting into a situation 58 00:02:15,347 --> 00:02:17,515 where I date whoever I'm working with. 59 00:02:17,583 --> 00:02:19,050 Well you can understand that. 60 00:02:19,118 --> 00:02:20,151 Yeah, I understand. 61 00:02:20,219 --> 00:02:21,252 I just don't agree. 62 00:02:21,320 --> 00:02:23,288 Well, you don't have to agree. 63 00:02:23,355 --> 00:02:24,289 Yes, I do. 64 00:02:24,356 --> 00:02:25,590 No, you don't. 65 00:02:25,658 --> 00:02:26,858 Yes, I do. 66 00:02:26,925 --> 00:02:28,192 No, you can have your own opinion... 67 00:02:28,260 --> 00:02:30,361 I have my own opinion, and my opinion 68 00:02:30,429 --> 00:02:31,362 is to disagree with you. 69 00:02:31,430 --> 00:02:32,730 He's gonna be a lot of fun 70 00:02:32,798 --> 00:02:34,332 to drive around in a car with. 71 00:02:34,400 --> 00:02:35,767 Ah, you'll get through it, hon. 72 00:02:35,834 --> 00:02:37,135 Just make a game out of it. 73 00:02:37,202 --> 00:02:40,038 A funny Jim game. 74 00:02:40,105 --> 00:02:42,307 That's it? That's all I get? 75 00:02:42,374 --> 00:02:44,042 Even after all the hard work I put into 76 00:02:44,109 --> 00:02:45,410 celebrating your talent today. 77 00:02:45,477 --> 00:02:47,045 All right, what'd you do? 78 00:02:47,112 --> 00:02:49,380 Well, those things that you consider doodles 79 00:02:49,448 --> 00:02:50,581 I consider art. 80 00:02:53,352 --> 00:02:54,452 Where'd you put it? 81 00:02:54,520 --> 00:02:56,354 - Where'd I put what? - Let's go. 82 00:02:56,422 --> 00:02:57,588 Oh, sorry. I gotta go. 83 00:02:57,656 --> 00:02:58,923 - Say it. Where? - Okay, fine. 84 00:02:58,991 --> 00:03:01,225 Three hints: One, when you're getting colder, 85 00:03:01,293 --> 00:03:02,226 you're really getting warmer. 86 00:03:02,294 --> 00:03:03,695 - The fridge. - Two! 87 00:03:03,762 --> 00:03:06,431 You have a better chance if you think Bob Vance. 88 00:03:06,498 --> 00:03:07,498 The fridge, got it. 89 00:03:07,566 --> 00:03:08,566 - And the final clue... - Let's go! 90 00:03:08,634 --> 00:03:09,834 You know what? Just think about it. 91 00:03:09,902 --> 00:03:12,537 - You'll be fine. - Bye. 92 00:03:13,806 --> 00:03:16,307 Holly is ruining Michael's life. 93 00:03:16,375 --> 00:03:19,010 He thinks she's so special. 94 00:03:19,078 --> 00:03:21,245 And she's so not. 95 00:03:21,313 --> 00:03:23,381 Her personality is like a three, 96 00:03:23,449 --> 00:03:24,716 her sense of humor is a two, 97 00:03:24,783 --> 00:03:28,486 her ears are like a seven and a four. 98 00:03:28,554 --> 00:03:29,987 Add it all up, and what do you get? 99 00:03:30,055 --> 00:03:31,322 16. 100 00:03:31,390 --> 00:03:33,524 And he treats her like she's a perfect 40. 101 00:03:33,592 --> 00:03:35,226 It's nuts. 102 00:03:41,133 --> 00:03:42,967 Cheer up. We made a sale. 103 00:03:43,035 --> 00:03:44,802 Just drive faster. I wanna get back. 104 00:03:44,870 --> 00:03:46,471 Well, I'm going the speed limit. 105 00:03:46,538 --> 00:03:48,139 Okay, fine. 106 00:03:48,207 --> 00:03:49,941 My feelings don't matter to you. 107 00:03:50,008 --> 00:03:51,776 What matters to you is your precious speed limit. 108 00:03:51,844 --> 00:03:53,644 Someone's in a bad mood. 109 00:03:53,712 --> 00:03:56,347 No, I'm not. 110 00:03:56,415 --> 00:03:59,984 I'm not in a bad mood. 111 00:04:00,052 --> 00:04:03,755 I'm not, Jim. Hello? 112 00:04:03,822 --> 00:04:05,356 Okay, fine, ignore me. 113 00:04:05,424 --> 00:04:06,424 Have it your way. 114 00:04:06,492 --> 00:04:07,992 Let's just talk about you. 115 00:04:08,060 --> 00:04:10,161 As always. 116 00:04:10,229 --> 00:04:12,196 Sex different after the baby, Jim? 117 00:04:12,264 --> 00:04:13,598 All right, let me turn on some music. 118 00:04:13,665 --> 00:04:15,032 - I need to pee! - No, you don't. 119 00:04:15,100 --> 00:04:16,768 Yeah, I do. My word against yours. 120 00:04:16,835 --> 00:04:18,436 All right, well, we'll be there in ten minutes. 121 00:04:18,504 --> 00:04:22,039 What part of "I need to pee" do you not understand? 122 00:04:22,107 --> 00:04:24,442 I'm upset, my bladder is full, 123 00:04:24,510 --> 00:04:27,645 there is no telling what I might do, right now, 124 00:04:27,713 --> 00:04:30,548 all over the inside of your precious little car. 125 00:04:30,616 --> 00:04:32,517 All right, well, if I see a gas station, 126 00:04:32,584 --> 00:04:34,919 - I'll pull over. - Well, I hope I make it. 127 00:04:37,423 --> 00:04:38,356 Hello? 128 00:04:38,424 --> 00:04:40,625 Hi, Jim, it's Helene. 129 00:04:40,692 --> 00:04:43,127 Hey, Helene. Is everything okay? 130 00:04:43,195 --> 00:04:45,029 Everything's fine. Baby's fine. 131 00:04:45,097 --> 00:04:47,465 She has a tiny fever. I'm taking her for a checkup. 132 00:04:47,533 --> 00:04:49,333 Nothing to worry about, uh... 133 00:04:49,401 --> 00:04:50,401 Okay. 134 00:04:50,469 --> 00:04:53,838 A tiny thing. I locked her in the car. 135 00:04:53,906 --> 00:04:56,140 - What? - She's smiling. She's happy. 136 00:04:56,208 --> 00:04:57,842 - Oh, my God. - Jim, I... Jim... 137 00:04:57,910 --> 00:04:59,177 - Oh, my God. - I don't have a spare key. 138 00:04:59,244 --> 00:05:00,311 Just... just stay there. 139 00:05:00,379 --> 00:05:01,913 I'll be there in one second. 140 00:05:01,980 --> 00:05:03,414 Michael! 141 00:05:04,583 --> 00:05:05,783 Michael! 142 00:05:07,019 --> 00:05:08,219 Excuse me, sir, there's a... 143 00:05:08,287 --> 00:05:09,353 There's a guy in the bathroom. 144 00:05:09,421 --> 00:05:10,888 He's coming out, but I have to go, 145 00:05:10,956 --> 00:05:12,123 'cause it's an emergency. 146 00:05:12,191 --> 00:05:13,291 Will you just tell him to call the office? 147 00:05:13,358 --> 00:05:14,792 Just call... Call the office. 148 00:05:14,860 --> 00:05:16,461 Thank you! Please? 149 00:05:26,605 --> 00:05:27,805 Hello? 150 00:05:50,796 --> 00:05:52,997 - This is Pam. - Hey, it's me. 151 00:05:53,065 --> 00:05:55,099 So, uh, don't worry. Everything's okay. 152 00:05:55,167 --> 00:05:57,235 - What's wrong? - Nothing, absolutely nothing. 153 00:05:57,302 --> 00:05:59,270 But you're not holding a cup of coffee or anything, are you? 154 00:05:59,338 --> 00:06:01,272 - Jim, what? - Uh...Okay. 155 00:06:01,340 --> 00:06:03,040 So Cece had a little bit of a fever. 156 00:06:03,108 --> 00:06:05,042 And your mom also locked her in the car. 157 00:06:05,110 --> 00:06:06,944 - Oh, God. What? - No, no, no, it's okay. 158 00:06:07,012 --> 00:06:08,312 So Cece's with daddy now, 159 00:06:08,380 --> 00:06:10,515 and she is laughing and she's happy, 160 00:06:10,582 --> 00:06:11,916 and we're on our way to see Dr. Barbara. 161 00:06:11,984 --> 00:06:13,284 Okay, so she's okay? 162 00:06:13,352 --> 00:06:15,920 Yes, and your mom got a very well-deserved day off. 163 00:06:15,988 --> 00:06:17,355 So here's the thing, though. 164 00:06:17,422 --> 00:06:19,123 I left Michael at the gas station 165 00:06:19,191 --> 00:06:20,124 on Bennett. 166 00:06:20,192 --> 00:06:21,492 Understood. 167 00:06:21,560 --> 00:06:23,361 And his wallet and phone are on the seat next to him. 168 00:06:23,428 --> 00:06:24,962 Got it. 169 00:06:25,030 --> 00:06:26,831 I will put out an A.P.B. 170 00:06:26,899 --> 00:06:29,901 otherwise known as an "Ask Pam Beasley." 171 00:06:32,871 --> 00:06:33,804 Did the phone cut out? 172 00:06:33,872 --> 00:06:35,072 Nope. 173 00:06:35,140 --> 00:06:37,074 All right, just call me after the doctor. 174 00:06:37,142 --> 00:06:38,142 - Okay. - All right, bye. 175 00:06:38,210 --> 00:06:39,143 Bye. 176 00:06:39,211 --> 00:06:40,411 I know, I know. 177 00:06:40,479 --> 00:06:41,913 You have a phone policy. I understand. 178 00:06:41,980 --> 00:06:43,080 But this is an emergency, 179 00:06:43,148 --> 00:06:44,448 because my friend isn't here, 180 00:06:44,516 --> 00:06:48,286 and I'm worried that he has been abducted. 181 00:06:48,353 --> 00:06:49,854 - No. - And... and... 182 00:06:49,922 --> 00:06:52,323 No, he ditched you, man. I saw him drive away. 183 00:06:52,391 --> 00:06:54,125 There's no way he ditched me. 184 00:06:54,192 --> 00:06:55,459 There's no way that happened. 185 00:06:55,527 --> 00:06:56,827 He's my... Okay. 186 00:06:56,895 --> 00:06:58,429 May I please just use your phone? Please. 187 00:06:58,497 --> 00:06:59,530 Just make it quick. 188 00:06:59,598 --> 00:07:00,865 Thank you. Okay. 189 00:07:00,933 --> 00:07:03,234 I will make it quick. I will make it very quick. 190 00:07:03,302 --> 00:07:06,737 And you don't have my numbers on speed dial. 191 00:07:06,805 --> 00:07:09,807 Aah, okay, what is it? 192 00:07:09,875 --> 00:07:10,808 You don't know. 193 00:07:10,876 --> 00:07:11,976 - Oh, co... come... - You don't. 194 00:07:12,044 --> 00:07:13,144 You know what? 195 00:07:13,211 --> 00:07:14,345 I could dial 411, get Jim's number... 196 00:07:14,413 --> 00:07:17,782 He left you here on purpose, all right? 197 00:07:17,849 --> 00:07:19,016 I saw it. 198 00:07:19,084 --> 00:07:20,484 He just drove away. 199 00:07:20,552 --> 00:07:22,019 Actually, this is good. 200 00:07:22,087 --> 00:07:25,022 I am going to take this opportunity 201 00:07:25,090 --> 00:07:29,193 to go walkabout. 202 00:07:29,261 --> 00:07:32,797 Good, good. 203 00:07:32,864 --> 00:07:34,298 No, get away. 204 00:07:34,366 --> 00:07:37,969 No. That's enough. 205 00:07:38,036 --> 00:07:41,372 Okay. 206 00:07:41,440 --> 00:07:43,007 Okay. 207 00:07:43,075 --> 00:07:44,809 It's the gas station on Bennett Street? 208 00:07:44,876 --> 00:07:45,810 Yeah. 209 00:07:45,877 --> 00:07:46,911 You know what? 210 00:07:46,979 --> 00:07:48,079 Why don't you stay and I'll go? 211 00:07:48,146 --> 00:07:49,347 Oh, no, no, no, I'll be fine. 212 00:07:49,414 --> 00:07:51,115 It's kind of a sketchy neighborhood, though. 213 00:07:51,183 --> 00:07:52,116 I better come along. 214 00:07:52,184 --> 00:07:54,085 Problem solved, everyone. 215 00:07:54,152 --> 00:07:55,987 Space Orphan and Princess Nincompoop 216 00:07:56,054 --> 00:07:57,188 are off to rescue Michael. 217 00:07:57,255 --> 00:07:59,457 Unbelievable. I'm going. 218 00:07:59,524 --> 00:08:01,459 You drive. I got a car full of fox meat. 219 00:08:05,564 --> 00:08:07,732 Cute. 220 00:08:12,237 --> 00:08:14,005 Very funny, everyone. 221 00:08:14,072 --> 00:08:16,941 Who wrote captions under my doodle? 222 00:08:17,009 --> 00:08:19,043 I'm not even kidding. They're pretty good. 223 00:08:19,111 --> 00:08:20,878 - Which one in particular? - Yeah, which one? 224 00:08:20,946 --> 00:08:23,948 Well, the first one has a surprise factor. 225 00:08:24,016 --> 00:08:26,217 "I'm a suck-suck-suckety Sabre." 226 00:08:26,284 --> 00:08:27,218 Boo-yah! 227 00:08:27,285 --> 00:08:29,120 No. No, no. 228 00:08:29,187 --> 00:08:30,221 No, no, no. 229 00:08:30,288 --> 00:08:32,323 But, uh, I suppose the second one 230 00:08:32,391 --> 00:08:33,524 is the better written line. 231 00:08:33,592 --> 00:08:35,993 - You suppose? - What's it say? 232 00:08:36,061 --> 00:08:37,595 "I'm supposed to be wearing red gloves, 233 00:08:37,663 --> 00:08:40,431 but my color cartridge portal got jammed again." 234 00:08:40,499 --> 00:08:43,034 Okay, no, no, no, no, no. 235 00:08:43,101 --> 00:08:44,268 Gloves. 236 00:08:44,336 --> 00:08:45,703 Keep it real. 237 00:08:45,771 --> 00:08:47,605 You guys, if I knew you wanted to do a caption contest, 238 00:08:47,673 --> 00:08:49,373 I would have drawn something more challenging. 239 00:08:49,441 --> 00:08:51,842 - And I will take you all down. - You? 240 00:08:51,910 --> 00:08:53,377 I been reading the comics to my daughter 241 00:08:53,445 --> 00:08:55,046 since she was three years old. 242 00:08:55,113 --> 00:08:57,615 Not once have I used the real captions to Family Circus. 243 00:08:57,683 --> 00:09:00,251 That crazy family is hilarious to her for one reason... 244 00:09:00,318 --> 00:09:01,619 Me. 245 00:09:01,687 --> 00:09:03,154 Oh, it is on 246 00:09:03,221 --> 00:09:06,290 like Genghis Khan wearing Sean John in Bhutan. 247 00:09:06,358 --> 00:09:09,093 Yes. You guys, I have the perfect idea. 248 00:09:09,161 --> 00:09:10,561 Okay, it'll just take me ten minutes. 249 00:09:10,629 --> 00:09:12,029 - Whoo-hoo! - All right. 250 00:09:12,097 --> 00:09:13,097 I want to do it. 251 00:09:13,165 --> 00:09:15,966 Male, Caucasian, 40s, black hair, 252 00:09:16,034 --> 00:09:18,736 facial type marsupial. 253 00:09:18,804 --> 00:09:21,005 He answers to Michael, Michael G. Scott, 254 00:09:21,073 --> 00:09:23,240 Michael J. Fox, Mr. Fox, the Incredible Mr. Fox. 255 00:09:23,308 --> 00:09:25,509 - Yeah, he just left. - Which way did he go? 256 00:09:25,577 --> 00:09:27,778 Hey, hey, hey, hey, let me answer this. 257 00:09:27,846 --> 00:09:29,947 Stupid question. He went back to the office, 258 00:09:30,015 --> 00:09:31,148 obviously, which is that way. 259 00:09:31,216 --> 00:09:32,283 Oh, really? 260 00:09:32,350 --> 00:09:33,851 You don't think he walked by that bakery 261 00:09:33,919 --> 00:09:35,386 just for the smell of it? 262 00:09:35,454 --> 00:09:38,689 She's right. He went that way. 263 00:09:38,757 --> 00:09:40,791 All right. 264 00:09:40,859 --> 00:09:44,595 Don't get a swelled head. You're no tracker. 265 00:09:44,663 --> 00:09:46,664 Let's ride. 266 00:10:02,984 --> 00:10:04,918 Hey, you guys. Listen to me. 267 00:10:04,986 --> 00:10:06,887 Don't get hung up on just one girl, 268 00:10:06,955 --> 00:10:09,723 because there are a lot of other girls over there. 269 00:10:09,791 --> 00:10:12,225 Look over there. See? 270 00:10:12,293 --> 00:10:14,828 They look cute. 271 00:10:14,896 --> 00:10:15,829 Hello. 272 00:10:15,897 --> 00:10:18,031 You guys are so beautiful. 273 00:10:18,099 --> 00:10:20,467 You're so colorful. 274 00:10:20,535 --> 00:10:22,469 I wish I could understand you. 275 00:10:22,537 --> 00:10:24,671 That's a metaphor, I guess. 276 00:10:24,739 --> 00:10:26,640 You are disgusting. 277 00:10:26,708 --> 00:10:28,875 You'll never find love. 278 00:10:28,943 --> 00:10:30,143 Lecch. 279 00:10:30,211 --> 00:10:31,612 Do you think she needs more time, 280 00:10:31,679 --> 00:10:33,046 or it's just never gonna happen? 281 00:10:33,114 --> 00:10:35,449 I'm being serious. Seriously. 282 00:10:35,516 --> 00:10:36,583 Dunder Mifflin. This is Pam. 283 00:10:36,651 --> 00:10:37,851 Has Michael checked in? 284 00:10:37,919 --> 00:10:40,354 - Oh, hey, Dwight. - I asked you a question. 285 00:10:40,421 --> 00:10:42,456 - No, he hasn't. - Okay, bye. 286 00:10:42,523 --> 00:10:44,291 No, wait, um, hey, while you're out, 287 00:10:44,359 --> 00:10:46,326 could you pick up some paper towels and chocolate syrup? 288 00:10:46,394 --> 00:10:47,995 We have ice cream, so I thought we could... 289 00:10:48,062 --> 00:10:49,329 Pam, this isn't a shopping trip. 290 00:10:49,397 --> 00:10:51,131 This is a manhunt-slash-rescue mission. 291 00:10:51,199 --> 00:10:52,532 Okay, I just... 292 00:10:52,600 --> 00:10:54,368 When you're done, or any time it's convenient, 293 00:10:54,435 --> 00:10:55,769 I just thought since you're out... 294 00:10:55,837 --> 00:10:57,704 Pam, I'm obviously gonna get that stuff for you, 295 00:10:57,772 --> 00:10:58,905 so just shut up. God. 296 00:10:58,973 --> 00:11:01,575 Okay, well, it wasn't ob... 297 00:11:01,643 --> 00:11:02,943 No word from Michael. 298 00:11:05,213 --> 00:11:06,813 Tada. 299 00:11:06,881 --> 00:11:11,918 Okay, it's two giant dogs with two giant palm trees 300 00:11:11,986 --> 00:11:13,353 on a regular-sized island. 301 00:11:13,421 --> 00:11:14,621 - Oh, I got one. - Yeah? 302 00:11:14,689 --> 00:11:16,657 - Yes. - Okay, I'm sorry, 303 00:11:16,724 --> 00:11:18,291 but I'm gonna have to shut this down. 304 00:11:18,359 --> 00:11:20,327 - Boo. - Why? 305 00:11:20,395 --> 00:11:22,095 Unless we can all agree to some ground rules. 306 00:11:22,163 --> 00:11:25,032 It's either that or I can fax this to Jo 307 00:11:25,099 --> 00:11:26,633 and let her decide how to proceed. 308 00:11:26,701 --> 00:11:29,202 Gabe, tell us your stupid rules 309 00:11:29,270 --> 00:11:30,604 so we can start the game. 310 00:11:30,672 --> 00:11:32,205 Number one, and this should be obvious, 311 00:11:32,273 --> 00:11:34,641 no captions that insult the company we work for. 312 00:11:34,709 --> 00:11:36,410 Irony is such a critical... 313 00:11:36,477 --> 00:11:40,681 Number two, no pop culture references. 314 00:11:40,748 --> 00:11:42,949 - Seriously? - Wow. 315 00:11:43,017 --> 00:11:44,451 I think we can all agree 316 00:11:44,519 --> 00:11:46,486 they tend to alienate those who don't get the reference, 317 00:11:46,554 --> 00:11:47,688 making them feel like the other. 318 00:11:47,755 --> 00:11:49,122 Wrap it up, Gabe. 319 00:11:49,190 --> 00:11:51,558 Okay, final thing, and this is a fun one, 320 00:11:51,626 --> 00:11:55,495 instead of writing the caption directly under the picture, 321 00:11:55,563 --> 00:11:57,431 let's all try using sticky quips. 322 00:11:57,498 --> 00:12:00,167 All right? New from Dunder Mifflin-Sabre. 323 00:12:00,234 --> 00:12:03,970 Sticky quips are fun, they're safe, they're handy. 324 00:12:04,038 --> 00:12:06,440 I like to use sticky quips as regular post-it notes 325 00:12:06,507 --> 00:12:08,175 when I'm in a fun mood. 326 00:12:08,242 --> 00:12:09,843 Not every day. 327 00:12:09,911 --> 00:12:11,678 Go get 'em. Start quipping. 328 00:12:14,515 --> 00:12:16,183 Pam, I think I'm gonna send you an I.M. 329 00:12:16,250 --> 00:12:18,085 Oh, okay. 330 00:12:18,152 --> 00:12:19,286 Send me one too. 331 00:12:19,353 --> 00:12:20,620 Yeah, yeah, yeah, put me on that. 332 00:12:20,688 --> 00:12:23,423 - C.C. - Ditto. 333 00:12:23,491 --> 00:12:25,492 Hello. 334 00:12:25,560 --> 00:12:27,327 I would like a hot dog, please. 335 00:12:27,395 --> 00:12:28,895 Now, I don't have any money, 336 00:12:28,963 --> 00:12:31,698 so here is what I would like to do. 337 00:12:31,766 --> 00:12:34,101 I leave you here with my watch, 338 00:12:34,168 --> 00:12:36,670 and I come back later and I pay for the hotdog. 339 00:12:36,738 --> 00:12:38,105 I'm not a pawn shop. 340 00:12:38,172 --> 00:12:41,942 Well, I understand that, but this is a $45 watch. 341 00:12:42,009 --> 00:12:42,943 Wow. 342 00:12:43,010 --> 00:12:44,711 With that, I could buy... 343 00:12:44,779 --> 00:12:45,879 Half the menu. 344 00:12:45,947 --> 00:12:47,481 I can't just go giving away hotdogs. 345 00:12:47,548 --> 00:12:48,849 All right. 346 00:12:48,916 --> 00:12:51,051 What do you do with the hotdogs that you don't sell? 347 00:12:51,119 --> 00:12:52,419 Throw 'em away. 348 00:12:52,487 --> 00:12:54,454 Well, okay, instead of throwing them all away later, 349 00:12:54,522 --> 00:12:56,256 why don't you just throw one away now into my mouth. 350 00:12:56,324 --> 00:12:57,357 No. 351 00:12:57,425 --> 00:13:00,727 Okay. You've just lost my business. 352 00:13:08,703 --> 00:13:09,903 Hey. 353 00:13:09,971 --> 00:13:11,204 Hey, you were in there forever. 354 00:13:11,272 --> 00:13:13,073 There's too many brands. Where's Holly? 355 00:13:13,141 --> 00:13:15,942 She wandered off like an idiot. 356 00:13:16,010 --> 00:13:16,943 - Hey. - Hey. 357 00:13:17,011 --> 00:13:18,145 What are you doing? 358 00:13:18,212 --> 00:13:20,046 Oh, just changing my cell phone plan. 359 00:13:20,114 --> 00:13:22,282 Okay. Okay. Here you go. 360 00:13:22,350 --> 00:13:24,351 I'll take my free stress ball too now. 361 00:13:24,418 --> 00:13:26,186 Sure thing. Here you go, miss... 362 00:13:26,254 --> 00:13:28,155 Okay, Fanny Smellmore. 363 00:13:28,222 --> 00:13:30,490 - Real original. - What? 364 00:13:30,558 --> 00:13:32,726 You know what? Say hi to Orville Tootenbacher for me. 365 00:13:32,794 --> 00:13:34,461 Tootenbacher. 366 00:13:34,529 --> 00:13:35,796 Orville Tootenbacher, 367 00:13:35,863 --> 00:13:37,097 that's Michael's millionaire character that... 368 00:13:37,165 --> 00:13:38,732 Farts popcorn. 369 00:13:38,800 --> 00:13:40,600 Of course. He was here. 370 00:13:40,668 --> 00:13:44,471 She's the key. Amazing. 371 00:13:44,539 --> 00:13:46,339 Holly. 372 00:13:46,407 --> 00:13:49,843 Hey, where would you like to go next? 373 00:13:49,911 --> 00:13:53,513 Holly? 374 00:13:53,581 --> 00:13:56,783 Are their egg rolls really that big? 375 00:13:56,851 --> 00:13:59,519 Oh, boy. That was yummy. 376 00:13:59,587 --> 00:14:01,562 Thank you so much. 377 00:14:08,329 --> 00:14:10,764 You know what? I think I left my wallet in my car. 378 00:14:10,832 --> 00:14:12,065 Do you mind if I run out and get it? 379 00:14:12,133 --> 00:14:13,133 - No problem. - Okay. 380 00:14:13,201 --> 00:14:20,473 I'll be right back. 381 00:14:20,541 --> 00:14:22,976 Okay, you know what? 382 00:14:23,044 --> 00:14:26,079 I'm sorry. I'm sorry. 383 00:14:26,147 --> 00:14:30,050 I don't have my wallet. And I was... 384 00:14:30,117 --> 00:14:31,885 I was gonna try to dine and dash, 385 00:14:31,953 --> 00:14:33,353 and that was stupid, 386 00:14:33,421 --> 00:14:35,622 and I realize I can't do that to you fine people. 387 00:14:35,690 --> 00:14:37,123 So you can't pay for your food? 388 00:14:37,191 --> 00:14:39,960 Well, I can, but I will have to come back later tonight 389 00:14:40,027 --> 00:14:41,962 and pay you. 390 00:14:42,029 --> 00:14:44,197 But the point is I did the right thing. 391 00:14:44,265 --> 00:14:45,532 You did not. 392 00:14:45,600 --> 00:14:46,666 You have no money, 393 00:14:46,734 --> 00:14:48,134 but you dined, and you dined so much. 394 00:14:48,202 --> 00:14:51,538 Well, the number three is not such a giant feast. 395 00:14:51,606 --> 00:14:52,639 Mr. Chu! 396 00:14:52,707 --> 00:14:54,875 Okay, all right. You know what? 397 00:14:54,942 --> 00:14:57,244 You're trying to steal food from us? 398 00:14:57,311 --> 00:14:58,345 I am not. 399 00:14:58,412 --> 00:15:00,213 I just have had a bad day, 400 00:15:00,281 --> 00:15:03,717 and I... Okay. 401 00:15:03,784 --> 00:15:05,018 I'll be back later with the money. 402 00:15:05,086 --> 00:15:06,186 I'm just gonna leave right now. 403 00:15:06,254 --> 00:15:07,387 You can't. We'll stop you. 404 00:15:07,455 --> 00:15:09,956 Well, I think I can get through the door. 405 00:15:16,807 --> 00:15:18,976 Excuse me. Do you speak English? 406 00:15:19,234 --> 00:15:21,168 We are looking for a man, 407 00:15:21,236 --> 00:15:24,605 Michael, this tall, black hair, Caucasian. 408 00:15:24,672 --> 00:15:26,707 It's Michael! 409 00:15:29,778 --> 00:15:31,779 He just left. 410 00:15:31,846 --> 00:15:33,947 - You knew! - What? 411 00:15:34,015 --> 00:15:35,682 No. Dwight asked if I wanted an egg roll. 412 00:15:35,750 --> 00:15:37,384 What... What are you implying? 413 00:15:37,452 --> 00:15:40,320 Uncanny. Put a pin in that. 414 00:15:40,388 --> 00:15:42,356 Which way did he go? 415 00:15:42,423 --> 00:15:44,925 That guy! When he leave here, 416 00:15:44,993 --> 00:15:47,861 which way did he go? We looking for him. 417 00:15:47,929 --> 00:15:49,997 This way, this way, this way? I don't know. 418 00:15:50,064 --> 00:15:51,431 Do you know? 419 00:15:51,499 --> 00:15:53,133 I think he was heading downtown. 420 00:15:55,170 --> 00:15:56,870 He's heading downtown. 421 00:16:02,143 --> 00:16:03,844 So what, no one's even gonna try? 422 00:16:03,912 --> 00:16:06,013 - Guess not. - Oh, come on. 423 00:16:06,080 --> 00:16:08,816 My rules could not possibly have been that oppressive. 424 00:16:08,883 --> 00:16:10,818 You crushed our spirits, Gabe. 425 00:16:10,885 --> 00:16:13,687 Congrats. You're a big man, huh? 426 00:16:13,755 --> 00:16:16,456 Takes a lot to destroy the creativity 427 00:16:16,524 --> 00:16:18,158 of a whole group of people. 428 00:16:24,566 --> 00:16:27,301 Hey... 429 00:16:30,038 --> 00:16:32,873 Click the "x". 430 00:16:32,941 --> 00:16:34,208 - I'm clicking! - In the box. 431 00:16:34,275 --> 00:16:35,676 I am clicking. 432 00:16:35,743 --> 00:16:37,311 Woman, you've had a computer for years! 433 00:16:37,378 --> 00:16:38,712 - Phyllis! - Too late! 434 00:16:38,780 --> 00:16:41,849 Oh. Ha. An I.M. chat. 435 00:16:41,916 --> 00:16:43,417 Very clever. 436 00:16:43,484 --> 00:16:46,086 I'll just print that out. 437 00:16:46,154 --> 00:16:47,554 Come on, guys. Grow up. 438 00:16:47,622 --> 00:16:50,991 I don't want to be your babysitter. 439 00:16:53,561 --> 00:16:55,229 Ooh. 440 00:17:09,811 --> 00:17:12,112 "Darn it, Bob, I told you not to buy 441 00:17:12,180 --> 00:17:13,513 a Sabre brand lifeboat." 442 00:17:15,216 --> 00:17:17,184 - Nice! - No, not nice. 443 00:17:17,252 --> 00:17:18,719 Terrible. 444 00:17:18,786 --> 00:17:20,721 Doesn't even include the fact that they're dogs. 445 00:17:20,788 --> 00:17:22,689 - Do the next one. - "Wake up, Fred. 446 00:17:22,757 --> 00:17:24,591 "The power cord on your Sabre printer 447 00:17:24,659 --> 00:17:26,226 "shocked you into a coma, 448 00:17:26,294 --> 00:17:28,228 and you're dreaming you're a dog on a desert island." 449 00:17:28,296 --> 00:17:31,498 Dreaming he's a dog on an island. 450 00:17:31,566 --> 00:17:33,000 Uh, excuse me, excuse me. 451 00:17:33,067 --> 00:17:35,435 How does the speaker know what the guy in the coma is dreaming? 452 00:17:35,503 --> 00:17:36,970 Well, if you think it's so easy, Gabe, 453 00:17:37,038 --> 00:17:39,106 - why don't you try it? - Um... 454 00:17:39,173 --> 00:17:42,175 You don't have to sniff my rear end anymore, Bob. 455 00:17:42,243 --> 00:17:44,011 I'm the only one here. Ha. 456 00:17:44,078 --> 00:17:45,279 That's tasteless, Gabe. 457 00:17:45,346 --> 00:17:46,880 - Tasteless? - Tasteless. 458 00:17:46,948 --> 00:17:47,948 More tasteless than this? 459 00:17:48,016 --> 00:17:49,316 "Is that a palm tree, 460 00:17:49,384 --> 00:17:50,817 "or did Gabe get skinner? 461 00:17:50,885 --> 00:17:52,052 Either way, let's pee on it. 462 00:17:56,190 --> 00:17:58,725 Ladies and gentlemen, I think we have a winner. 463 00:17:58,793 --> 00:18:00,427 - Yes. - Yes. Well done! 464 00:18:00,495 --> 00:18:02,262 Whose is it? Who wrote that? 465 00:18:02,330 --> 00:18:04,932 Yeah. Who wrote it? 466 00:18:07,335 --> 00:18:09,002 Please. It was easy once I decided 467 00:18:09,070 --> 00:18:12,306 I wanted the dog to piss on Gabe. 468 00:18:12,373 --> 00:18:13,941 Where did he go, Holly? 469 00:18:14,008 --> 00:18:15,475 I have no idea. 470 00:18:15,543 --> 00:18:18,245 Do you see a little clown that you wanna follow, huh? 471 00:18:18,313 --> 00:18:20,113 Is there a little bird that's chirping to you, 472 00:18:20,181 --> 00:18:21,214 "this way, this way." 473 00:18:21,282 --> 00:18:22,783 I don't know. 474 00:18:22,850 --> 00:18:24,051 Okay. Close your eyes. 475 00:18:24,118 --> 00:18:25,919 We need you to think. 476 00:18:25,987 --> 00:18:27,287 What is Michael seeing right now? 477 00:18:27,355 --> 00:18:29,323 Can you tell him that we miss him? 478 00:18:29,390 --> 00:18:30,557 Michael, we're coming for you! 479 00:18:30,625 --> 00:18:31,625 Will you stop? 480 00:18:31,693 --> 00:18:33,160 There have been a few coincidences... 481 00:18:33,227 --> 00:18:34,161 That's all! 482 00:18:34,228 --> 00:18:35,796 All right, then. 483 00:18:35,863 --> 00:18:37,931 - Someone propose a plan. - Okay. 484 00:18:37,999 --> 00:18:40,434 - We fan out... - Not you, Erin. 485 00:18:41,703 --> 00:18:43,937 Stop looking at me like that. 486 00:18:44,005 --> 00:18:45,906 Okay, look, let's just go up somewhere high 487 00:18:45,974 --> 00:18:48,175 and see if we could spot him on the street below. 488 00:18:48,242 --> 00:18:50,978 That is the stupidest idea I've ever heard. No. 489 00:18:51,045 --> 00:18:54,014 Tap into your common mind and tell us what he would do next. 490 00:18:54,082 --> 00:18:57,484 Look, I'm not playing. I'm gonna go look for him. 491 00:18:59,020 --> 00:19:01,254 - Good. We don't need her. - Right. 492 00:19:01,322 --> 00:19:03,690 I can do this on my own. I can think like Michael. 493 00:19:03,758 --> 00:19:06,026 All right... 494 00:19:06,094 --> 00:19:08,395 I'm deep below the ocean's surface in a submarine. 495 00:19:08,463 --> 00:19:10,597 A torpedo's coming right at me. 496 00:19:10,665 --> 00:19:13,700 No. Damn it, that's just my own imagination. 497 00:19:15,336 --> 00:19:16,603 Maybe he's bowling. 498 00:19:51,472 --> 00:19:53,473 Michael? 499 00:19:56,044 --> 00:19:57,010 Hi. 500 00:19:59,447 --> 00:20:01,982 How did you know I was up here? 501 00:20:02,050 --> 00:20:03,483 What are you doing up here? 502 00:20:03,551 --> 00:20:04,684 I got turned around. 503 00:20:04,752 --> 00:20:06,386 I thought I could see Dunder Mifflin. 504 00:20:06,454 --> 00:20:08,055 Dunder Mifflin? 505 00:20:08,122 --> 00:20:09,523 Yeah. 506 00:20:09,590 --> 00:20:13,160 Wow! 507 00:20:15,730 --> 00:20:18,698 I just miss you so much. 508 00:20:23,271 --> 00:20:25,138 I missed you too. 509 00:20:25,206 --> 00:20:27,340 Really? 510 00:20:27,408 --> 00:20:30,143 Yeah. 511 00:20:32,346 --> 00:20:33,680 Can I kiss you? 512 00:20:33,748 --> 00:20:36,283 - Yeah. - Okay. 513 00:20:36,856 --> 00:20:45,219 Sync by honeybunny www.addic7ed.com 514 00:20:45,556 --> 00:20:47,556 Maybe that's not the best one. Keep reading. 515 00:20:47,676 --> 00:20:49,176 - Yeah, it was. - Maybe it wasn't. 516 00:20:49,296 --> 00:20:53,424 Oh, thank God, I had a horrible nightmare that I was stuck in America with Gabe. 517 00:20:56,014 --> 00:20:58,345 No, that's not the one I was thinking of. Keep going. 518 00:20:58,465 --> 00:20:59,702 I know what it smells like 519 00:20:59,751 --> 00:21:01,085 but I didn't roll in anything, 520 00:21:01,205 --> 00:21:03,990 It's from listening to all of Gabe's bullshit. 521 00:21:05,371 --> 00:21:07,920 Isn't this the perfect romantic getaway, Erin? 522 00:21:08,040 --> 00:21:10,836 Sitting on a desert island in dog costumes? 523 00:21:10,956 --> 00:21:13,162 I'm Gabe and... I'm a weirdo. 524 00:21:14,873 --> 00:21:16,203 Gabe's mom... 525 00:21:16,323 --> 00:21:18,048 Mm, Gabe's mom? 526 00:21:18,168 --> 00:21:20,875 Wait, tall woman? Looks like Gabe? 527 00:21:22,310 --> 00:21:23,591 Yeah, I banged her. 528 00:21:23,711 --> 00:21:25,871 Yeah, there you go.