1 00:00:02,440 --> 00:00:04,070 I am on a lecture circuit. 2 00:00:04,080 --> 00:00:05,920 I'm going around to all the branches, 3 00:00:05,930 --> 00:00:08,970 And i'm telling them my secret recipe for success. 4 00:00:08,980 --> 00:00:11,980 I have now memorized all of your names. 5 00:00:11,990 --> 00:00:17,090 Shirty,mole,lazy eye,mexico,baldy. 6 00:00:17,100 --> 00:00:19,800 Then i turn it on and i say,"prepare yourself 7 00:00:19,810 --> 00:00:22,300 For the uta chain store massacre. " 8 00:00:22,310 --> 00:00:23,920 - How's jim? - We're engaged. 9 00:00:23,930 --> 00:00:25,350 Oh,my god,i'm so happy for you. 10 00:00:25,360 --> 00:00:27,240 Oh,well... thank you. 11 00:00:27,250 --> 00:00:29,230 You rember holly? 12 00:00:29,240 --> 00:00:31,200 She used to work for h. R. 13 00:00:31,640 --> 00:00:33,130 She was the love of my life. 14 00:00:33,150 --> 00:00:36,110 She just left,and i never got closure. 15 00:00:36,120 --> 00:00:40,210 And i feel like i need to go to nashuand get closure. 16 00:00:40,220 --> 00:00:43,280 Okay. Let's go. 17 00:01:07,210 --> 00:01:08,400 Two 18 00:01:08,410 --> 00:01:10,330 I didn't eat lunch. 19 00:01:10,560 --> 00:01:13,510 I didn't eatallmy lunch. 20 00:01:14,840 --> 00:01:16,420 Hello,everyone. 21 00:01:18,050 --> 00:01:19,640 Oh,ice cream. 22 00:01:19,650 --> 00:01:21,810 Nice,kevin. Looks good. 23 00:01:21,870 --> 00:01:24,550 It... yeah. 24 00:01:24,560 --> 00:01:27,220 Angela,you're more chipper than usual. 25 00:01:27,230 --> 00:01:29,500 I am proud to announce that there is a new addition 26 00:01:29,520 --> 00:01:31,540 To the martin family. 27 00:01:32,650 --> 00:01:34,220 She's hypoallergenic. 28 00:01:34,230 --> 00:01:36,620 She doesn't struggle when you try to dress her. 29 00:01:36,630 --> 00:01:38,570 She's a third-Generation show cat. 30 00:01:38,580 --> 00:01:40,830 Her father was in meet the parents. 31 00:01:40,840 --> 00:01:43,210 Needless to say,she was very,very expensive. 32 00:01:43,220 --> 00:01:44,760 - How much? - $7,000. 33 00:01:44,770 --> 00:01:47,890 For a cat? I could get you a kid for that. 34 00:01:47,900 --> 00:01:49,180 Where'd you get that kind of money? 35 00:01:49,190 --> 00:01:51,610 I sold andy's engagement ring on ebay. 36 00:01:51,620 --> 00:01:53,700 Wait,you didn't give it back? 37 00:01:53,710 --> 00:01:55,820 He wouldn't have wanted that. 38 00:01:55,840 --> 00:01:57,890 Her name is prinss lady! 39 00:01:57,900 --> 00:01:59,940 - Seven grand. - Mm-Hmm. 40 00:01:59,950 --> 00:02:01,540 I gotta see that little bitch. 41 00:02:01,550 --> 00:02:03,310 I have something better than a picture. 42 00:02:03,320 --> 00:02:04,230 Come on. 43 00:02:04,240 --> 00:02:06,460 You have your cats on nanny cam? 44 00:02:06,470 --> 00:02:07,240 Yeah. 45 00:02:07,250 --> 00:02:08,890 I mean,i usually try to take leave 46 00:02:08,900 --> 00:02:09,850 When i get a new cat, 47 00:02:09,860 --> 00:02:11,340 But i'm out of vacation days. 48 00:02:11,350 --> 00:02:14,030 And this company still doesn't recognize cat marnity. 49 00:02:14,040 --> 00:02:16,320 I e meofanfi,cewhen somebody has a kid,oh,sure,take off a year. 50 00:02:16,330 --> 00:02:18,540 She's right. I had my second kid just for the vacation. 51 00:02:18,550 --> 00:02:20,150 Right. Anyways... 52 00:02:20,160 --> 00:02:22,020 I just want to make sure princess lady 53 00:02:22,030 --> 00:02:23,550 Is acclimating well. 54 00:02:23,560 --> 00:02:25,590 She means more to me than anyone. 55 00:02:25,600 --> 00:02:27,470 Anycat,you mean. 56 00:02:27,640 --> 00:02:29,360 And person. 57 00:02:34,250 --> 00:02:35,550 So detour. 58 00:02:35,990 --> 00:02:37,970 We're now adding nashua to the lecture circuit 59 00:02:37,980 --> 00:02:41,070 So michael can confront holly and get some closure. 60 00:02:41,580 --> 00:02:43,860 Nashua actually sounded very excited on the phone. 61 00:02:43,870 --> 00:02:45,790 I don't think they get a lot of visitors. 62 00:02:46,530 --> 00:02:48,090 Because their offi is only accessible 63 00:02:48,100 --> 00:02:51,190 By cross-Country skis. Hey-Oh! 64 00:02:52,970 --> 00:02:54,850 I've been driving too long. 65 00:02:56,800 --> 00:02:58,680 - What did you do? - Stop yelling at me! 66 00:02:58,690 --> 00:03:00,910 - What did you do? - I didn't do anything! 67 00:03:00,920 --> 00:03:02,060 What did you learn in there? 68 00:03:02,080 --> 00:03:04,280 I t you learned things,huh? 69 00:03:04,290 --> 00:03:06,410 Like how to fashion a shiv,hmm? 70 00:03:06,420 --> 00:03:08,020 Hey,what the hell's going on? 71 00:03:08,030 --> 00:03:09,100 D't you tell jim where you were 72 00:03:09,110 --> 00:03:11,120 From ages 14 to 15. 73 00:03:11,130 --> 00:03:12,840 I was kickin' it. 74 00:03:12,850 --> 00:03:15,020 - In juvie. - What? 75 00:03:15,030 --> 00:03:18,390 Juvie... nile... detention center. 76 00:03:18,400 --> 00:03:20,670 - Where they send teenagers - Yep. Got it. 77 00:03:20,680 --> 00:03:22,200 What did you do? Huh? 78 00:03:22,220 --> 00:03:24,070 Hey,dwight,sounds like she was 14, 79 00:03:24,080 --> 00:03:25,090 So maybe we wanna go a little easy. 80 00:03:25,100 --> 00:03:26,470 If she's old enough to get married, 81 00:03:26,490 --> 00:03:28,340 She's old enough to follow the law. 82 00:03:28,350 --> 00:03:30,410 What did you do? 83 00:03:30,670 --> 00:03:33,990 My boyfriend dumped me,so i stole his boat. 84 00:03:34,000 --> 00:03:35,240 I mean,he told me it was his boat. 85 00:03:35,250 --> 00:03:36,700 It was actually his father's. 86 00:03:36,710 --> 00:03:38,300 I just thought it'd be really romantic, 87 00:03:38,310 --> 00:03:41,370 Likethelma and louise,but with,like,a boat. 88 00:03:41,380 --> 00:03:43,740 And it was the worst year of my life. 89 00:03:43,760 --> 00:03:45,690 And i can't believe that you guys are making me 90 00:03:45,700 --> 00:03:47,610 Talk about this on my birthday! 91 00:03:47,620 --> 00:03:49,630 I thought you saidyesterday was your birthday. 92 00:03:49,640 --> 00:03:53,070 Hey,you know what? I got you a cake. 93 00:03:53,770 --> 00:03:55,040 You did? 94 00:03:55,060 --> 00:03:57,000 I want to see the cake. 95 00:03:57,590 --> 00:04:00,860 And... ta-Da! 96 00:04:01,490 --> 00:04:02,650 I hate it. 97 00:04:02,660 --> 00:04:04,210 How do you hate it? It's a cake. 98 00:04:04,220 --> 00:04:07,090 Well,there's no flowers or toys or- 99 00:04:07,100 --> 00:04:08,790 I mean,there's nothing on it. 100 00:04:08,800 --> 00:04:11,010 Where did you even find 101 00:04:11,020 --> 00:04:12,390 I mean,it doesn't have my name on it. 102 00:04:12,400 --> 00:04:13,670 Do you guys know what my name is? 103 00:04:13,680 --> 00:04:15,760 - My name is kelly! - Right. 104 00:04:15,770 --> 00:04:18,710 I forgot if there was an "e" between the "I" and the "y. " 105 00:04:19,230 --> 00:04:20,550 I still don't know. 106 00:04:20,560 --> 00:04:22,160 I mean,i don't even know what the theme is. 107 00:04:22,170 --> 00:04:24,280 What's the theme?! 108 00:04:25,790 --> 00:04:27,580 - Birthday. - Frostg. 109 00:04:27,590 --> 00:04:29,760 Those aren't themes. 110 00:04:31,480 --> 00:04:33,480 There's always a theme. 111 00:04:35,350 --> 00:04:37,060 There's always a theme. 112 00:04:37,710 --> 00:04:39,500 Nice job on the cake,bozo. 113 00:04:39,520 --> 00:04:40,520 Okay,you know what,next time, 114 00:04:40,540 --> 00:04:41,680 I'll let you get the cake, 115 00:04:41,690 --> 00:04:43,970 Andiget to scream at the bir 116 00:04:46,420 --> 00:04:48,660 Okay,a little bit more closer to the sign. 117 00:04:50,180 --> 00:04:51,790 Yeah. 118 00:04:55,710 --> 00:04:57,860 - Do i look okay? - You look good. 119 00:05:00,130 --> 00:05:02,040 - Hi. - Hi,can i help you? 120 00:05:02,050 --> 00:05:03,410 Yes,you can. 121 00:05:03,420 --> 00:05:05,220 I am michael scott 122 00:05:05,230 --> 00:05:06,730 Regional manager of the scranton branch. 123 00:05:06,740 --> 00:05:08,820 - Yes,we were expecting you. - Have a seat. 124 00:05:08,830 --> 00:05:10,490 Thank you. 125 00:05:11,020 --> 00:05:15,220 Um... is holly flax anywhere here? 126 00:05:15,230 --> 00:05:16,890 Actually,she on an h. R. Retreatfi 127 00:05:16,900 --> 00:05:18,730 For the next three days. 128 00:05:19,880 --> 00:05:22,090 She's not here? 129 00:05:22,190 --> 00:05:24,080 But if you need to get in touch with her immediately, 130 00:05:24,090 --> 00:05:25,440 You could talk to a. J. 131 00:05:25,450 --> 00:05:26,720 He's a salesman here. 132 00:05:26,730 --> 00:05:28,690 A.J. Yeah,he's her boyfriend. 133 00:05:28,700 --> 00:05:30,690 He's just over there. 134 00:05:49,100 --> 00:05:50,790 She has a boyfriend. 135 00:05:51,350 --> 00:05:53,460 I'm so sorry,michael. 136 00:05:59,230 --> 00:06:01,450 How could she do this toe,pam? 137 00:06:05,220 --> 00:06:07,250 She's not doing it to hurt you. 138 00:06:09,000 --> 00:06:11,420 I can't do the presentation. I can't- 139 00:06:13,100 --> 00:06:15,430 Just... oh... 140 00:06:15,980 --> 00:06:17,300 Thinking about seeing him... 141 00:06:17,310 --> 00:06:21,370 And... thinking about... 142 00:06:21,530 --> 00:06:23,750 Him getting to hold her and getting to kiss her. 143 00:06:23,760 --> 00:06:27,000 It just- Oh,god! 144 00:06:27,020 --> 00:06:29,190 Listen,when jim was dating karen, 145 00:06:29,200 --> 00:06:30,990 I didn't want to come to work. 146 00:06:31,000 --> 00:06:33,710 It was awful. I hated it. 147 00:06:33,970 --> 00:06:36,170 - I wanted to quit,but- I know- Please... 148 00:06:36,180 --> 00:06:38,100 Come on,i'm going through something. 149 00:06:38,120 --> 00:06:39,900 Okay? 150 00:06:42,330 --> 00:06:44,270 You know,when holly gets back, 151 00:06:44,280 --> 00:06:47,330 Everyone'll tell her what a great job you did. 152 00:06:47,340 --> 00:06:49,600 And then she'll realize what she's missing. 153 00:06:49,610 --> 00:06:51,760 Andhen she'll move back to scranton. 154 00:06:51,770 --> 00:06:53,000 And her boyfriend will die. 155 00:06:53,020 --> 00:06:54,930 Yeah. Maybe. 156 00:06:55,380 --> 00:06:58,610 Maybe. One step at a time. 157 00:07:00,660 --> 00:07:02,000 You can do this. 158 00:07:04,390 --> 00:07:05,620 I can do this. 159 00:07:07,980 --> 00:07:12,080 I think there could be snacks or- 160 00:07:14,180 --> 00:07:15,620 Is that what i think it is? 161 00:07:16,600 --> 00:07:18,020 Good god! 162 00:07:19,730 --> 00:07:23,060 That one ugly cat is humping princess lady! 163 00:07:23,070 --> 00:07:24,680 No! Awesome! 164 00:07:24,690 --> 00:07:26,710 Stop it,mr. Ash! Bad cat! 165 00:07:26,720 --> 00:07:29,420 That is very bad. You stop it right now! 166 00:07:29,430 --> 00:07:30,730 I swear,he is fixed. 167 00:07:30,740 --> 00:07:32,120 Yeah,i know fixed. That ain't fixed 168 00:07:32,130 --> 00:07:33,510 - No way. - No,now listen. 169 00:07:33,520 --> 00:07:36,050 You can't let what you see here sully your image of them. 170 00:07:36,060 --> 00:07:38,380 They are good,decent cats. 171 00:07:38,390 --> 00:07:40,480 I've gotta go. I'll be back in an hour. 172 00:07:41,150 --> 00:07:43,010 Oh,stop that! Oh! 173 00:07:43,020 --> 00:07:45,050 Oh,the other one's watching. 174 00:07:45,150 --> 00:07:47,530 Okay,so all we need is a theme... 175 00:07:47,580 --> 00:07:51,620 And cups and ice and nch and a cake. 176 00:07:51,630 --> 00:07:53,060 Busy. 177 00:07:53,080 --> 00:07:54,900 Hey,what's that show that she's always talking about? 178 00:07:54,910 --> 00:07:56,250 My god,is this how you are with pam? 179 00:07:56,260 --> 00:07:58,650 Because she must want to shoot herself in the face. 180 00:07:58,660 --> 00:07:59,810 You know what. I could use a little help. 181 00:07:59,820 --> 00:08:01,900 You know what. I'm a little busy. 182 00:08:04,400 --> 00:08:06,650 We have a lot to do, 183 00:08:06,660 --> 00:08:11,270 And you are putting up a very effeminate sign. 184 00:08:11,280 --> 00:08:12,290 Is that what you've been doing,making a sign? 185 00:08:12,300 --> 00:08:14,430 It's not effeminate. It's festive. 186 00:08:14,440 --> 00:08:16,310 You've been makingthatsign for something 187 00:08:16,320 --> 00:08:18,330 That we can just announce to the whole office? 188 00:08:18,340 --> 00:08:20,200 Hey,everybody,the party's now at 3:00. 189 00:08:20,220 --> 00:08:23,070 I know,i just read it on the sign. 190 00:08:27,180 --> 00:08:29,730 Good morning, 191 00:08:29,740 --> 00:08:33,060 Viet- Nashua! 192 00:08:34,130 --> 00:08:35,410 Sales. 193 00:08:35,420 --> 00:08:41,060 Sales is whatbwingsus together today. 194 00:08:41,070 --> 00:08:46,260 How do we deal with clients who say, 195 00:08:46,270 --> 00:08:47,800 "Frankly,my dear, 196 00:08:47,810 --> 00:08:49,880 I don't give a damn about paper," 197 00:08:49,890 --> 00:08:54,000 And get them to show us the mone 198 00:08:54,010 --> 00:08:57,230 Well,we are going to find out today. 199 00:08:57,250 --> 00:08:58,100 Show of hands. 200 00:08:58,110 --> 00:09:00,100 How many of you are salesmen? 201 00:09:00,110 --> 00:09:02,070 Let's see the salesmen. Ooh,okay. 202 00:09:02,080 --> 00:09:04,100 Well,i know what the rest of you are thinking. 203 00:09:04,120 --> 00:09:07,610 Wow,yuck. Salesmen are the worst. 204 00:09:07,620 --> 00:09:11,510 They are awful. They are so arrogant. 205 00:09:11,520 --> 00:09:14,720 They think the whole place revolves around them. 206 00:09:14,730 --> 00:09:17,610 Handsome. Good listeners. 207 00:09:17,620 --> 00:09:20,400 Funny. Mr. Wonderful. 208 00:09:20,410 --> 00:09:24,220 So,okay,you're a salesman. What's your name? 209 00:09:24,230 --> 00:09:25,490 - A.J. - A.J. 210 00:09:25,500 --> 00:09:27,340 What kind of name is a. J.? 211 00:09:27,350 --> 00:09:29,050 What,do you race cars? 212 00:09:29,590 --> 00:09:31,360 I'm a salesman. That's why i raised my hand. 213 00:09:31,370 --> 00:09:33,940 Ooh,ouch. Okay. 214 00:09:33,950 --> 00:09:35,150 Good. You're funny. 215 00:09:35,160 --> 00:09:37,930 Very good and funny. Tell me,a. J., 216 00:09:37,940 --> 00:09:38,880 Are u dating? 217 00:09:38,890 --> 00:09:40,980 Is there somebody you date? 218 00:09:42,560 --> 00:09:44,740 Yeah. Why,are you interested? 219 00:09:46,110 --> 00:09:48,260 I have a question about discounts from distributors. 220 00:09:48,270 --> 00:09:49,840 Yep,we will get to you. 221 00:09:49,850 --> 00:09:52,660 Okay,so you're dating somebody. 222 00:09:52,680 --> 00:09:56,550 Um... is it serious? 223 00:09:56,740 --> 00:09:58,940 It's pretty serious. Yes. 224 00:10:03,990 --> 00:10:05,190 Does she ever talk about me? 225 00:10:05,210 --> 00:10:07,070 Oh,god. 226 00:10:08,180 --> 00:10:09,230 Excuse me? 227 00:10:09,240 --> 00:10:11,000 What does this have to do with sales? 228 00:10:11,010 --> 00:10:12,690 It's all connected. Shut up. 229 00:10:12,700 --> 00:10:15,190 Does she ever mention michael scott? 230 00:10:15,800 --> 00:10:17,700 No. What are you talking about? 231 00:10:20,180 --> 00:10:21,900 Does it feel good? 232 00:10:22,160 --> 00:10:23,470 Does what feel good? 233 00:10:23,480 --> 00:10:25,550 Your life. 234 00:10:25,960 --> 00:10:28,030 Oh,wow. 235 00:10:30,220 --> 00:10:32,440 Ahh,legs are sort of giving out. 236 00:10:32,820 --> 00:10:35,000 Long drive in the car. So let's just- 237 00:10:35,010 --> 00:10:36,980 We'll st continue. 238 00:10:39,770 --> 00:10:41,680 Oh,wow. 239 00:10:42,030 --> 00:10:43,290 Okay... 240 00:10:43,300 --> 00:10:44,770 Michael,get off the floor. 241 00:10:44,780 --> 00:10:47,140 Yeah,yeah... 242 00:10:47,150 --> 00:10:49,650 I can't do this,pam. 243 00:10:50,740 --> 00:10:52,220 Justead- Just read the cards. 244 00:10:52,240 --> 00:10:54,000 Michael,you have to- 245 00:10:54,010 --> 00:10:57,170 No,i'm okay. I'm all right. 246 00:11:00,970 --> 00:11:03,690 Okay... okay. 247 00:11:07,670 --> 00:11:09,510 That was weird,huh? 248 00:11:10,240 --> 00:11:12,730 It's all part of the presentation. 249 00:11:14,850 --> 00:11:16,940 It was confusing,right? 250 00:11:16,950 --> 00:11:23,730 Because confusing situations happen to us all the time in our jobs 251 00:11:25,460 --> 00:11:27,270 I'm just trying to bridge the gap 252 00:11:27,280 --> 00:11:28,790 Between what just happened, 253 00:11:28,800 --> 00:11:29,830 And the fact that i'm going to be doing 254 00:11:29,840 --> 00:11:31,910 The rest of the presentation. 255 00:11:34,740 --> 00:11:38,240 Sales is like a box of chocolates. 256 00:11:38,250 --> 00:11:41,820 You never know which vendor you're gonna get. 257 00:11:43,460 --> 00:11:44,960 Forrest gump. 258 00:11:46,840 --> 00:11:52,000 Blazer... freckles... penguin... 259 00:11:52,010 --> 00:11:56,010 K.D. Lang... holly's boyfriend. 260 00:11:56,020 --> 00:12:00,460 These mnemonic devices help to make a connection, 261 00:12:00,470 --> 00:12:05,080 And then also to help you memorize names. 262 00:12:07,050 --> 00:12:08,470 I have a chain saw! 263 00:12:17,070 --> 00:12:18,850 Cutting down the competion. 264 00:12:20,540 --> 00:12:21,800 Where is th bad cat? 265 00:12:21,810 --> 00:12:24,190 Oh,you know who you are. Excuse me,petals. 266 00:12:24,200 --> 00:12:26,920 I'm looking for mr. Ash. He's a bad cat. 267 00:12:26,930 --> 00:12:28,860 Bad,bad cat. Do you hear me? 268 00:12:28,870 --> 00:12:30,620 Bad. Yeahyou were bad. 269 00:12:30,640 --> 00:12:32,660 No,you look at me when i talk to you. 270 00:12:32,670 --> 00:12:34,500 Do you hear me,mr. Ash? You look at me. 271 00:12:34,510 --> 00:12:36,730 'Cause i'm talking to you right now. 272 00:12:41,360 --> 00:12:43,370 This is getting weird. 273 00:12:44,710 --> 00:12:47,350 Is she cleaning the cat with her tongue? 274 00:12:50,920 --> 00:12:52,850 Ooh... 275 00:14:17,160 --> 00:14:18,870 Has this been on the entire time? 276 00:14:18,890 --> 00:14:20,210 I have no idea. 277 00:14:20,220 --> 00:14:23,090 I was looking at pictures of food 278 00:14:23,100 --> 00:14:25,270 On my computer. 279 00:14:26,090 --> 00:14:27,940 Well,sorry i'm late. 280 00:14:37,880 --> 00:14:39,810 I want to get that image out of my head. 281 00:14:39,820 --> 00:14:40,830 The psychological issues 282 00:14:40,840 --> 00:14:42,790 That go behind licking a cat 283 00:14:42,800 --> 00:14:45,090 Are not things i want to go into. 284 00:14:45,180 --> 00:14:47,620 Also,i'm prettyure she coughed up a hairball. 285 00:14:50,300 --> 00:14:52,990 Don't look up. Don't look up. 286 00:15:01,280 --> 00:15:03,120 - Want some pie? - No. 287 00:15:03,130 --> 00:15:04,810 I went through holly's things. 288 00:15:04,820 --> 00:15:05,370 What? 289 00:15:05,380 --> 00:15:07,170 I stole the sleeve of her sweater. 290 00:15:07,180 --> 00:15:09,170 Oh,michael. 291 00:15:09,350 --> 00:15:11,440 I also stole something off of her computer. 292 00:15:11,450 --> 00:15:14,060 A document called "dear michael. " 293 00:15:14,070 --> 00:15:16,120 - You did what?! - I shouldn't have done it. 294 00:15:16,130 --> 00:15:18,660 It just- I couldn't help it. 295 00:15:19,910 --> 00:15:22,320 - She never sent it to you?- No,sh- 296 00:15:22,340 --> 00:15:24,140 She didn't. 297 00:15:24,570 --> 00:15:25,630 I'm gonna read it. 298 00:15:25,640 --> 00:15:26,830 - No. - Yes. 299 00:15:26,840 --> 00:15:28,180 No,under no circumstances 300 00:15:28,190 --> 00:15:29,920 Can you read that letter. 301 00:15:29,930 --> 00:15:32,280 It's a violation of her trust. 302 00:15:32,290 --> 00:15:33,560 How? 303 00:15:33,570 --> 00:15:34,700 Because she didn't sent it to you. 304 00:15:34,710 --> 00:15:37,740 I know,i know. You're right,you' 305 00:15:40,840 --> 00:15:42,330 I could read it. 306 00:15:44,220 --> 00:15:46,090 No,that wouldn't- 307 00:15:47,220 --> 00:15:48,630 Yeah,i could read it. 308 00:15:48,650 --> 00:15:50,070 No,you don't have to do that. 309 00:15:50,080 --> 00:15:52,060 - Go get your laptop. - Okay. 310 00:15:55,930 --> 00:15:57,240 What? 311 00:15:57,250 --> 00:15:59,130 I'm not in love with her. 312 00:16:02,020 --> 00:16:03,720 You have to write my suggestions down too. 313 00:16:03,730 --> 00:16:06,380 I'm not writing "horse hunt. " 314 00:16:06,390 --> 00:16:07,630 I don't evennow what that means. 315 00:16:07,650 --> 00:16:09,540 It's in the name. 316 00:16:11,610 --> 00:16:16,000 Okay,so far our ideal party consists of 317 00:16:16,010 --> 00:16:20,040 Beer,fights to the death,cupcakes,blood pudding, 318 00:16:20,050 --> 00:16:22,230 Blood,touch football,mating, 319 00:16:22,240 --> 00:16:24,630 Charades,and yes,horse hunting. 320 00:16:24,650 --> 00:16:26,620 You're right- Forget horse hunting,it's stupid. 321 00:16:26,630 --> 00:16:29,290 Look,is there a birthday that you rember that you loved? 322 00:16:29,300 --> 00:16:30,890 Here's one. 323 00:16:31,020 --> 00:16:33,780 It was dark,warm,wet. 324 00:16:34,770 --> 00:16:36,220 A sudden burst of light. 325 00:16:36,230 --> 00:16:38,850 An intense pressure like i'd never felt before. 326 00:16:38,860 --> 00:16:41,200 Father,dressed in white,pulls me forward. 327 00:16:41,210 --> 00:16:43,800 - Mother bites the cord. - Okay,stop. 328 00:16:44,200 --> 00:16:45,820 Forever stop that story. 329 00:16:45,830 --> 00:16:48,050 That's disgusting,and it doesn't count. 330 00:16:48,060 --> 00:16:48,940 So give me another one. 331 00:16:48,950 --> 00:16:51,440 Schrutes don't celebrate birthdays,idiot. 332 00:16:51,450 --> 00:16:53,360 It started as a depression-Era prac, 333 00:16:53,370 --> 00:16:55,300 And then moved on to an esome tradition 334 00:16:55,310 --> 00:16:57,630 That i look forward to every year. 335 00:16:57,640 --> 00:16:58,470 What about you? 336 00:16:58,480 --> 00:16:59,920 Actually,when i was seven,my dad took me 337 00:16:59,930 --> 00:17:02,130 To the natural history museum in new york. 338 00:17:02,140 --> 00:17:03,770 And we looked at fossils all day. 339 00:17:03,780 --> 00:17:05,500 And at the end of the day,he got me 340 00:17:05,510 --> 00:17:06,760 A little plastic triceratops. 341 00:17:06,770 --> 00:17:08,140 It was awesome. 342 00:17:08,150 --> 00:17:09,000 That's cool. 343 00:17:09,010 --> 00:17:11,930 Hey,you know what's even cooler than triceratops? 344 00:17:11,940 --> 00:17:16,290 Every other dinosaur that ever existed! 345 00:17:16,530 --> 00:17:18,140 Didn't see that one coming. 346 00:17:25,000 --> 00:17:26,390 It's deleted. 347 00:17:26,930 --> 00:17:28,340 Well? 348 00:17:29,790 --> 00:17:31,760 She still has feelings for you. 349 00:17:31,910 --> 00:17:33,670 She said that? 350 00:17:33,980 --> 00:17:35,800 Is that what it said? What did it say? 351 00:17:35,810 --> 00:17:37,990 I can't tell you specifically, 352 00:17:38,000 --> 00:17:41,360 But... it's not over. 353 00:17:41,440 --> 00:17:43,100 You're sure? 354 00:17:55,610 --> 00:17:57,140 Okay. 355 00:18:02,130 --> 00:18:04,880 Happy birthday. Surprise! 356 00:18:04,890 --> 00:18:08,100 Hey,it's not a surprise. It's not a surprise. 357 00:18:08,110 --> 00:18:09,480 This doesn't look good. 358 00:18:09,490 --> 00:18:11,260 What?! You have a cake. 359 00:18:11,270 --> 00:18:12,760 You have a delicious cake 360 00:18:12,770 --> 00:18:15,680 With your name spelled correctly? 361 00:18:17,230 --> 00:18:19,090 - Told you. - You haven't heard our theme,though. 362 00:18:19,300 --> 00:18:22,180 You don't hear a theme. You see it. 363 00:18:22,190 --> 00:18:23,880 Why is there a chiclet on my cake? 364 00:18:23,890 --> 00:18:24,960 That's the best part. 365 00:18:24,970 --> 00:18:27,470 That represents a pillow,or a television. 366 00:18:27,480 --> 00:18:28,850 Our theme,if you will- 367 00:18:28,860 --> 00:18:30,520 Because the fun part is you get to decide 368 00:18:30,530 --> 00:18:32,620 On an hour of television or an hour of napping. 369 00:18:32,630 --> 00:18:34,740 That's our theme. 370 00:18:36,480 --> 00:18:38,380 - Cool. - Yeah? 371 00:18:38,930 --> 00:18:39,850 I love it. 372 00:18:39,870 --> 00:18:42,110 Oh,yes! Okay,good. 373 00:18:42,130 --> 00:18:43,520 So what's it gonna be,kapoor? 374 00:18:43,530 --> 00:18:45,460 Ooh... can she pick a half hour of each? 375 00:18:45,470 --> 00:18:46,220 - No. - No. 376 00:18:46,230 --> 00:18:48,340 Oh,then pick tv. 377 00:18:48,350 --> 00:18:50,090 - Take a nap. - Tv. 378 00:18:50,100 --> 00:18:52,740 No,watching tv at work is really cool. 379 00:18:52,750 --> 00:18:55,210 Take a nap. Nothing good is on right now. 380 00:18:55,220 --> 00:18:56,260 Bonnie hunt is on. 381 00:18:56,270 --> 00:18:58,260 You know,i have been watching tv all week. 382 00:18:58,270 --> 00:18:59,250 I choose nap. 383 00:18:59,260 --> 00:19:01,070 All right. Okay,nap it is. 384 00:19:01,080 --> 00:19:03,260 Everyone out. Get out! 385 00:19:03,520 --> 00:19:05,590 We're gonna be eating cake atur desks. 386 00:19:05,600 --> 00:19:06,540 - Let's go. - Surprise. 387 00:19:06,550 --> 00:19:08,000 Move it! 388 00:19:08,450 --> 00:19:10,790 Let's go,go,go,go,go. Come on. 389 00:19:11,250 --> 00:19:12,680 I got this. 390 00:19:15,360 --> 00:19:16,680 This is for you. 391 00:19:16,690 --> 00:19:20,480 And... happy birthday,kel. 392 00:19:20,490 --> 00:19:22,440 Thank you. 393 00:19:26,710 --> 00:19:28,040 Okay... 394 00:19:28,950 --> 00:19:30,400 You've got one hour. 395 00:19:32,820 --> 00:19:34,920 I'm too excited to sleep. 396 00:19:41,040 --> 00:19:44,250 Mm,great cake. 397 00:19:45,100 --> 00:19:46,300 Thanks. 398 00:19:59,850 --> 00:20:01,280 Birthday time is over! 399 00:20:01,290 --> 00:20:02,600 Now go make up for all the work you missed 400 00:20:02,610 --> 00:20:04,490 When you were taking your nap. 401 00:20:08,570 --> 00:20:10,500 Many happy returns. 402 00:20:14,740 --> 00:20:16,450 I feel great. 403 00:20:16,460 --> 00:20:19,250 So good to have closure. Ah! 404 00:20:19,540 --> 00:20:21,790 We should go apologize to roy or something. 405 00:20:21,950 --> 00:20:23,450 No,we don't need to do that. 406 00:20:23,460 --> 00:20:26,850 Who have i wronged? Who have i wronged? 407 00:20:26,860 --> 00:20:28,080 Oh,oh! 408 00:20:28,090 --> 00:20:30,410 What about that fat guy from stamford that insulted? 409 00:20:30,420 --> 00:20:31,420 We should find him. 410 00:20:31,430 --> 00:20:33,340 You mean tony. 411 00:20:33,500 --> 00:20:35,420 Jabba the hutt. Pizza the hut. 412 00:20:35,500 --> 00:20:37,200 Fat guys like pizza pepperoni pizza. 413 00:20:37,210 --> 00:20:38,750 Pepperoni tony. 414 00:20:38,760 --> 00:20:40,460 Oh,michael. 415 00:20:40,470 --> 00:20:42,060 ,was he fat. 416 00:20:42,070 --> 00:20:45,950 So,so... fat. 417 00:20:46,780 --> 00:20:49,860 You know what,forget it. I know me. 418 00:20:49,870 --> 00:20:52,700 When i saw him,i would never be able to apologize to him. 419 00:20:55,160 --> 00:20:56,400 Too fat.