1
00:00:01,856 --> 00:00:03,840
Oh, look who's back
reporting for duty.
2
00:00:03,875 --> 00:00:05,108
Hey, guys.
3
00:00:05,143 --> 00:00:06,876
All: Hey.
4
00:00:06,910 --> 00:00:08,645
Hey, Pam, ah!
5
00:00:08,679 --> 00:00:10,413
Look what I can do now that
she's no longer pregnant.
6
00:00:10,447 --> 00:00:12,148
Bam, bam, bam, bam.
7
00:00:12,183 --> 00:00:13,650
Are you glad to be back?
8
00:00:13,684 --> 00:00:16,519
Yeah-- Yeah, I mean I could
have used another week or three.
9
00:00:16,554 --> 00:00:18,954
You still had eight weeks
more than we did.
10
00:00:18,989 --> 00:00:21,624
Well, it's not exactly
a vacation.
11
00:00:21,659 --> 00:00:22,757
- Hello, everyone.
- Hey.
12
00:00:22,792 --> 00:00:25,160
Remember?
Little old me, hi.
13
00:00:25,195 --> 00:00:26,328
What are you doing here?
14
00:00:26,362 --> 00:00:27,762
You just had our baby.
15
00:00:27,797 --> 00:00:31,099
Our collective,
Dunder Mifflin family baby.
16
00:00:31,133 --> 00:00:32,267
Four days ago.
17
00:00:32,302 --> 00:00:33,802
I wanted to come back to work.
18
00:00:33,836 --> 00:00:36,004
Not everybody needs
some long, luxurious,
19
00:00:36,038 --> 00:00:38,406
- Parisian maternity leave.
- What?
20
00:00:38,440 --> 00:00:40,675
Damn, girl, your body.
21
00:00:40,709 --> 00:00:42,476
Angela, you look amazing.
22
00:00:42,511 --> 00:00:46,146
Really? I feel like
this big rhinoceros.
23
00:00:46,181 --> 00:00:48,949
Anyway, I wanted to thank
you guys for covering for me,
24
00:00:48,983 --> 00:00:50,284
so I made some treats.
25
00:00:50,319 --> 00:00:52,086
I've got brownies
and magic cookie bars.
26
00:00:52,120 --> 00:00:54,088
Nice.
27
00:00:54,122 --> 00:00:56,789
Oh, Angela, those brownies
have walnuts in them
28
00:00:56,824 --> 00:00:58,358
and I think Kevin's
allergic to walnuts.
29
00:00:58,392 --> 00:00:59,959
You're allergic to walnuts,
right, Kevin?
30
00:00:59,993 --> 00:01:02,329
Extremely, but I'm going
to fight through it.
31
00:01:02,363 --> 00:01:03,863
Aw, it's okay, Angela.
32
00:01:03,897 --> 00:01:05,232
I have mommy-brain too.
33
00:01:05,266 --> 00:01:07,066
I don't know what that is, Pam.
34
00:01:07,101 --> 00:01:09,068
I made a batch with no nuts,
special for you, Kevin.
35
00:01:09,103 --> 00:01:10,369
- It's right here.
- Ooh.
36
00:01:10,403 --> 00:01:11,704
When did you find time
to do all this?
37
00:01:11,738 --> 00:01:13,272
Babies sleep a lot, Pam.
38
00:01:13,306 --> 00:01:15,274
If you feed them enough.
39
00:01:15,308 --> 00:01:21,280
Brownie, Pam?
40
00:01:21,314 --> 00:01:24,250
Thank you.
41
00:01:24,284 --> 00:01:26,817
Oh, my gosh, it's really good.
42
00:01:26,852 --> 00:01:32,690
I wouldn't know,
I'm watching my weight.
43
00:01:32,725 --> 00:01:34,992
So, you guys, you know what's
an even more useful treat
44
00:01:35,026 --> 00:01:37,462
- is cash, so--
- Nope, it's over.
45
00:01:37,496 --> 00:01:39,364
- We wanted to say thank you--
- Nope. Okay.
46
00:01:39,398 --> 00:01:41,366
[Cheerful music]
47
00:01:42,078 --> 00:01:48,136
Sync and corrections by n17t01
www.addic7ed.com
48
00:01:48,839 --> 00:01:50,340
Dwight, I have
exciting news for you.
49
00:01:50,375 --> 00:01:51,742
What?
50
00:01:51,776 --> 00:01:53,910
I think you're
going to like it.
51
00:01:53,944 --> 00:01:55,379
You can't tantalize me.
52
00:01:55,413 --> 00:01:57,213
Oh, maybe I can.
53
00:01:57,248 --> 00:02:00,015
I got an e-mail
from corporate
54
00:02:00,049 --> 00:02:05,354
- okay.
- That told me that you got a promotion.
55
00:02:05,389 --> 00:02:06,855
Right? I mean,
that's not the kind of thing
56
00:02:06,890 --> 00:02:08,557
you want to read
quietly at your desk.
57
00:02:08,592 --> 00:02:10,926
If you make me head of sales
one more time, I swear.
58
00:02:10,960 --> 00:02:12,227
No, this is legit.
59
00:02:12,262 --> 00:02:14,496
You will be assembling
a team to go to Tallahassee
60
00:02:14,530 --> 00:02:19,367
for three weeks to develop and
launch a chain of Sabre stores.
61
00:02:19,402 --> 00:02:22,937
Yes, yes, yes, yes.
62
00:02:22,971 --> 00:02:28,943
Yes, yes, yes, yes,
yes, yes, yes, yes.
63
00:02:28,977 --> 00:02:31,077
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
64
00:02:31,112 --> 00:02:32,413
The Schrutes have a word
for when everything
65
00:02:32,447 --> 00:02:35,416
in a man's life
comes together perfectly.
66
00:02:35,450 --> 00:02:37,484
Perfectenschlag.
67
00:02:37,519 --> 00:02:39,019
Right now, I am in it.
68
00:02:39,053 --> 00:02:41,288
I finally get a chance
to prove myself to corporate.
69
00:02:41,323 --> 00:02:43,757
I am assembling
a competent team.
70
00:02:43,792 --> 00:02:45,292
I am likely a father.
71
00:02:45,327 --> 00:02:49,595
I am so deep inside
of perfectenschlag right now.
72
00:02:49,630 --> 00:02:52,699
And, just to be clear,
there is a second definition,
73
00:02:52,733 --> 00:02:55,535
"perfect pork anus,"
which I don't mean.
74
00:02:55,569 --> 00:02:57,870
And here's the fax for you.
75
00:02:57,904 --> 00:03:00,072
And here's some facts for you.
76
00:03:00,106 --> 00:03:02,674
Did you know frogs
can hear with their lungs?
77
00:03:02,709 --> 00:03:06,578
And that flamingos can have
orgasms that last 30 minutes.
78
00:03:06,612 --> 00:03:08,313
Love to learn.
79
00:03:08,348 --> 00:03:10,449
Yeah, it's weird
that I said that last one.
80
00:03:10,483 --> 00:03:12,150
So...
81
00:03:12,184 --> 00:03:13,719
Uh, yeah, look at that.
82
00:03:13,753 --> 00:03:15,654
- We're pin twins.
- Pin twins.
83
00:03:15,688 --> 00:03:17,956
This is a gift from Jessica,
kind of a gag gift, really.
84
00:03:17,990 --> 00:03:19,657
Real gifts come later.
85
00:03:19,691 --> 00:03:21,792
Yeah, that's cute.
86
00:03:21,827 --> 00:03:26,163
When I saw it in CVS,
it made me gag too.
87
00:03:31,336 --> 00:03:33,303
For awhile there, I thought
something would change,
88
00:03:33,338 --> 00:03:35,605
but, nope,
Andy's still with Jessica.
89
00:03:35,639 --> 00:03:37,741
They even carpool
together most days.
90
00:03:37,775 --> 00:03:42,278
I don't know, I wouldn't mind
carpooling every day with Andy.
91
00:03:42,312 --> 00:03:46,516
But I wouldn't want to spend
that much time with Jessica.
92
00:03:46,550 --> 00:03:52,521
What do we have here?
93
00:03:52,555 --> 00:03:54,523
Val knit me a beanie.
94
00:03:54,557 --> 00:03:56,492
But I can't tell if it's a
"we're just friends" beanie
95
00:03:56,526 --> 00:03:59,528
or a "I'm hot, you're hot,
let's get it popping" beanie.
96
00:03:59,562 --> 00:04:01,663
So I'm going to up the ante,
97
00:04:01,698 --> 00:04:05,166
give her
a clearly romantic gift.
98
00:04:05,201 --> 00:04:08,035
And we'll get
to the meaning of the beanie.
99
00:04:08,069 --> 00:04:10,505
Pam, pack up your
postnatal swimwear,
100
00:04:10,539 --> 00:04:12,473
make it a one-piece,
or this offer is rescinded,
101
00:04:12,508 --> 00:04:15,209
and join me for a fantastic
barbecue, one week from today,
102
00:04:15,243 --> 00:04:17,011
in Tallahassee, Florida,
where I'm going to be living
103
00:04:17,045 --> 00:04:18,345
for the next three weeks.
104
00:04:18,380 --> 00:04:19,714
- Really?
- Mm-hmm.
105
00:04:19,748 --> 00:04:22,116
I'll fly anywhere
for some good barbecue.
106
00:04:22,150 --> 00:04:23,216
Ooh, me three.
107
00:04:23,250 --> 00:04:24,785
[Imitates buzzer]
No plus-ones.
108
00:04:24,819 --> 00:04:27,086
This is for competent
workers only.
109
00:04:27,121 --> 00:04:29,890
And don't worry about the cost,
Sabre is footing the bill.
110
00:04:29,924 --> 00:04:31,057
Does this have anything
to do with
111
00:04:31,091 --> 00:04:32,091
what you were talking
to Andy about?
112
00:04:32,126 --> 00:04:37,363
God, you're such a spy.
113
00:04:37,398 --> 00:04:39,164
Notice anything
different about me?
114
00:04:39,198 --> 00:04:40,833
You're wearing the beanie.
115
00:04:40,867 --> 00:04:42,134
You like it?
116
00:04:42,168 --> 00:04:44,537
Super comfortable,
like sweatpants for my head.
117
00:04:44,571 --> 00:04:45,905
I love it too, Val.
118
00:04:45,939 --> 00:04:49,174
It's really itchy,
but to be fair,
119
00:04:49,208 --> 00:04:50,843
my head is constantly itching.
120
00:04:50,877 --> 00:04:54,479
So I can't really
peg it on the hat.
121
00:04:54,513 --> 00:04:57,916
Wow, it's like
the nation of islam down here.
122
00:04:57,950 --> 00:05:00,919
I like to knit.
Don't hate.
123
00:05:00,953 --> 00:05:02,687
And who's that for?
124
00:05:02,721 --> 00:05:07,859
Oh, this is a gift
for my man, Nate, here.
125
00:05:07,893 --> 00:05:08,993
- What?
- Yeah.
126
00:05:09,027 --> 00:05:11,328
Darryl, you shouldn't have.
127
00:05:11,362 --> 00:05:13,497
- Can I open it?
- No, no, no, maybe just--
128
00:05:13,531 --> 00:05:16,433
Ah, I can't wait,
I'm sorry, I'm too excited.
129
00:05:21,272 --> 00:05:22,639
Darryl.
130
00:05:22,674 --> 00:05:24,207
Wow, those are really nice.
131
00:05:24,241 --> 00:05:26,809
- They're so elegant.
- Cashmere.
132
00:05:26,844 --> 00:05:27,844
How'd you know?
133
00:05:27,878 --> 00:05:30,880
Just a hunch.
134
00:05:30,914 --> 00:05:32,448
Your gift is on the way.
135
00:05:32,483 --> 00:05:34,917
Can't wait.
136
00:05:34,952 --> 00:05:37,787
I'm glad you're in my life,
happy Valentine's day.
137
00:05:37,821 --> 00:05:38,955
Oh, Darryl.
138
00:05:38,989 --> 00:05:42,024
I am glad to be
in your life too.
139
00:05:42,058 --> 00:05:47,896
Your card is more beautiful
than the gloves.
140
00:05:47,930 --> 00:05:52,033
My first task as Special
Project Manager, Dwight Schrute?
141
00:05:52,067 --> 00:05:54,168
Assembling a crack team.
142
00:05:54,203 --> 00:05:56,337
I need people who are loyal.
143
00:05:56,372 --> 00:05:58,206
People who will help me
get an inroad
144
00:05:58,240 --> 00:06:00,608
with the gay-hispanic
community.
145
00:06:00,642 --> 00:06:03,276
People who won't be missed.
146
00:06:03,311 --> 00:06:06,914
- We don't need idiots.
- This hurts.
147
00:06:06,948 --> 00:06:08,782
Good for nothings.
148
00:06:08,817 --> 00:06:10,918
Meth-heads.
149
00:06:10,952 --> 00:06:14,554
Or--
What's your name?
150
00:06:14,588 --> 00:06:15,722
Kathy.
151
00:06:15,756 --> 00:06:17,223
Kathy.
152
00:06:17,257 --> 00:06:22,361
[Phone beeps]
153
00:06:22,396 --> 00:06:23,930
I just got a text
from Robert California
154
00:06:23,964 --> 00:06:26,132
that says,
"bring your clubs to Florida."
155
00:06:26,166 --> 00:06:27,333
Why?
156
00:06:27,367 --> 00:06:28,868
Does he think
you're going to Florida?
157
00:06:28,903 --> 00:06:31,703
I hope not,
because I am not going.
158
00:06:31,738 --> 00:06:32,905
Two question marks.
159
00:06:32,939 --> 00:06:34,339
No, just do one.
160
00:06:34,373 --> 00:06:36,642
Two question marks
is kind of aggressive.
161
00:06:36,676 --> 00:06:38,810
You know, it's like,
"wh-- what?"
162
00:06:38,845 --> 00:06:41,580
Just do one.
163
00:06:41,614 --> 00:06:43,048
You want to take
Darryl, Phyllis,
164
00:06:43,082 --> 00:06:45,483
- Toby, Angela, and Oscar?
- Yes.
165
00:06:45,518 --> 00:06:47,952
Can I interest you
in someone less essential?
166
00:06:47,986 --> 00:06:50,655
Like a--
A Creed or a Meredith perhaps?
167
00:06:50,689 --> 00:06:52,523
- Oh, my God.
- They're not expendable,
168
00:06:52,558 --> 00:06:54,324
exactly, I just can't--
I can't think of the word
169
00:06:54,359 --> 00:06:55,426
I'm trying to find.
170
00:06:55,460 --> 00:06:56,661
Are you kidding me?
171
00:06:56,695 --> 00:06:58,563
I'm supposed to get on an
airplane with those nincompoops?
172
00:06:58,597 --> 00:06:59,797
We'd never
make it off the runway.
173
00:06:59,831 --> 00:07:01,599
All right, look, I got to keep
174
00:07:01,633 --> 00:07:04,100
this office functioning
somehow, so--
175
00:07:04,134 --> 00:07:05,869
I have put together a list.
176
00:07:05,903 --> 00:07:07,236
Here's your team.
177
00:07:07,271 --> 00:07:09,205
Darryl and Phyllis,
you can have.
178
00:07:09,239 --> 00:07:11,641
But you're also taking
Kathy, Kelly, and Kevin.
179
00:07:11,676 --> 00:07:12,842
Oh, God.
180
00:07:12,877 --> 00:07:13,877
You have your team.
181
00:07:13,911 --> 00:07:16,813
Kevin? Kelly? Kathy?
182
00:07:16,847 --> 00:07:19,414
Andy just gave me
a chain with three weak links.
183
00:07:19,449 --> 00:07:21,483
Have you ever tried to use
a chain with three weak links?
184
00:07:21,517 --> 00:07:23,840
I have, and now I no longer
own an arctic wolf.
185
00:07:27,252 --> 00:07:28,519
Well, let's hear it.
186
00:07:28,553 --> 00:07:29,620
"Robert, hey!"
Exclamation point.
187
00:07:29,654 --> 00:07:30,521
I like it so far.
188
00:07:30,555 --> 00:07:32,390
"Got your text, awesome idea.
189
00:07:32,424 --> 00:07:34,291
Let's hit the links
the next time you're in PA."
190
00:07:34,326 --> 00:07:35,692
Dash, JH.
191
00:07:35,727 --> 00:07:37,827
It's perfect.
192
00:07:37,861 --> 00:07:40,696
You emphasized the golf,
completely omit the Florida.
193
00:07:40,731 --> 00:07:41,931
Yeah, it's a golf text.
194
00:07:41,965 --> 00:07:44,534
Total golf text, send it.
195
00:07:44,568 --> 00:07:47,570
Done--
Wait, I just feel weird.
196
00:07:47,604 --> 00:07:48,938
I should just call him.
197
00:07:48,972 --> 00:07:51,441
You want to call someone
that texted you?
198
00:07:51,475 --> 00:07:54,543
Do you want to drive them away?
I mean--?
199
00:07:54,577 --> 00:07:56,145
[Phone rings]
200
00:07:56,179 --> 00:07:58,380
This is Darryl.
201
00:07:58,415 --> 00:08:00,615
Oh, sorry, I asked
for the main shipping number.
202
00:08:00,650 --> 00:08:02,084
I just need the address
for the warehouse.
203
00:08:02,118 --> 00:08:04,153
I want to send my girlfriend
some flowers.
204
00:08:04,187 --> 00:08:06,155
Your girlfriend?
205
00:08:06,189 --> 00:08:07,322
Is your girlfriend Val?
206
00:08:07,357 --> 00:08:09,890
Yeah, do you know her?
207
00:08:09,925 --> 00:08:14,529
We're friends, we're friends.
208
00:08:14,563 --> 00:08:17,765
Cool. Uh, so can I get
that address or--?
209
00:08:17,799 --> 00:08:20,901
Yeah, yeah, sorry,
I'm just looking for a pen.
210
00:08:20,936 --> 00:08:22,070
Why do you need a pen?
211
00:08:22,104 --> 00:08:24,138
Back off.
I got my reasons.
212
00:08:24,173 --> 00:08:25,838
May I have
your attention, please?
213
00:08:25,873 --> 00:08:28,007
Could Kathy, Phyllis, Darryl,
Kevin, and Kelly please
214
00:08:28,042 --> 00:08:29,709
join me in the conference room
immediately.
215
00:08:29,743 --> 00:08:31,278
- Why?
- Oh, no big deal.
216
00:08:31,312 --> 00:08:33,380
It's just that you five
have been deemed most deserving
217
00:08:33,414 --> 00:08:35,748
of a three-week,
all expenses paid business trip
218
00:08:35,783 --> 00:08:37,016
to Tallahassee, Florida.
219
00:08:37,051 --> 00:08:38,318
Hell, yeah.
220
00:08:38,352 --> 00:08:39,719
What?
221
00:08:39,753 --> 00:08:41,020
Oh, I'm sorry, Stanley.
222
00:08:41,055 --> 00:08:42,221
I can't share any more
details with you.
223
00:08:42,255 --> 00:08:44,690
You see, Andy rejected you.
224
00:08:44,724 --> 00:08:46,559
Wait, Kathy gets to go?
225
00:08:46,593 --> 00:08:47,926
Why does she even
still work here?
226
00:08:47,961 --> 00:08:49,595
Pam is back.
227
00:08:49,629 --> 00:08:50,929
It just feels like
a slap in the face.
228
00:08:50,964 --> 00:08:52,565
I can understand your pain
and your rage,
229
00:08:52,599 --> 00:08:54,366
but you know what?
Andy is an honorable man,
230
00:08:54,401 --> 00:08:55,767
let us not question
his choices.
231
00:08:55,802 --> 00:08:57,868
I'm sure he had his reasons.
232
00:08:57,903 --> 00:08:59,170
We're not questioning
his reasons.
233
00:08:59,205 --> 00:09:00,438
I just want to know
what they are.
234
00:09:00,473 --> 00:09:01,806
I know, you and me both,
brother.
235
00:09:01,840 --> 00:09:03,808
It seemed kind of random to me,
but he was pretty clear
236
00:09:03,842 --> 00:09:05,343
on who he thought
truly deserved
237
00:09:05,377 --> 00:09:06,944
this boondoggle of a lifetime.
238
00:09:06,979 --> 00:09:08,480
Well, he nailed it.
239
00:09:08,514 --> 00:09:11,682
Because I do deserve
a vacation.
240
00:09:11,717 --> 00:09:13,617
Sometimes Batman's
got to take off his cape.
241
00:09:13,651 --> 00:09:14,918
Good point,
242
00:09:14,952 --> 00:09:16,686
but we're going to be working
pretty hard until 5:00 P.M.
243
00:09:16,721 --> 00:09:19,689
After that, it's gonna be
beach volleyball,
244
00:09:19,724 --> 00:09:20,924
trips to Cape Canaveral,
245
00:09:20,958 --> 00:09:23,427
and sea-kayaking
with Gloria Estefan.
246
00:09:23,461 --> 00:09:25,195
What were the criteria
for going?
247
00:09:25,230 --> 00:09:28,532
It might be innate goodness
versus innate badness.
248
00:09:28,566 --> 00:09:32,168
But there's an easy way
to find out.
249
00:09:32,202 --> 00:09:36,105
Oh, Andy,
got a few questions for you.
250
00:09:36,140 --> 00:09:38,474
Moshi moshi.
251
00:09:38,509 --> 00:09:40,909
Uh, the Florida picks got out,
252
00:09:40,944 --> 00:09:42,478
and people were just
kind of curious
253
00:09:42,513 --> 00:09:44,079
as to why they weren't picked,
254
00:09:44,114 --> 00:09:45,780
and maybe you could
just clarify.
255
00:09:45,814 --> 00:09:51,253
Uh, well, the deliberations
were confidential,
256
00:09:51,287 --> 00:09:53,721
so I feel like
we should respect that.
257
00:09:53,756 --> 00:09:54,956
Respect it?
258
00:09:54,990 --> 00:09:56,291
You're trying to tell me
Kevin Malone
259
00:09:56,325 --> 00:09:57,959
deserves more
than Stanley Hudson?
260
00:09:57,993 --> 00:09:59,394
Hey.
261
00:09:59,428 --> 00:10:01,162
Okay, it's obvious
that Andy picked the people
262
00:10:01,196 --> 00:10:03,330
that are least important
to the office.
263
00:10:03,365 --> 00:10:04,565
Important?
264
00:10:04,599 --> 00:10:06,099
Oh, because you and your
enormous monster-baby
265
00:10:06,134 --> 00:10:07,434
are so important to the branch.
266
00:10:07,469 --> 00:10:09,303
My baby is not a monster.
267
00:10:09,337 --> 00:10:11,472
Hey, be proud of your
enormous monster-baby.
268
00:10:11,506 --> 00:10:13,541
I was once
an enormous monster-baby.
269
00:10:13,575 --> 00:10:18,110
Guys, guys, guys,
come on, seriously?
270
00:10:18,145 --> 00:10:21,981
We cannot let this trip
cause this kind of rift, guys.
271
00:10:22,015 --> 00:10:23,349
Stop calling us "guys."
272
00:10:23,384 --> 00:10:26,819
I use the word "guys"
a lot when I'm nervous.
273
00:10:26,853 --> 00:10:27,820
Guys.
274
00:10:27,854 --> 00:10:30,657
- Guys, guys, guys.
- Andy, please.
275
00:10:30,691 --> 00:10:32,292
Stop it, Andy.
276
00:10:32,326 --> 00:10:33,925
- Dudes--
- Andy.
277
00:10:33,959 --> 00:10:35,960
The dudes
who are going to Florida
278
00:10:35,995 --> 00:10:38,497
were picked by Dwight and me.
279
00:10:38,531 --> 00:10:40,799
Okay, hey, I specifically
remember that there were
280
00:10:40,833 --> 00:10:43,835
a lot of other people
I thought should be considered.
281
00:10:43,869 --> 00:10:45,704
If anybody's going
to Florida, it should be me.
282
00:10:45,738 --> 00:10:47,506
Every shirt that I have
that isn't a work shirt
283
00:10:47,540 --> 00:10:49,007
is a Tommy Bahama.
284
00:10:49,041 --> 00:10:51,742
I'm the only person in this
office who watches Burn Notice.
285
00:10:51,776 --> 00:10:54,011
Okay, I did not realize
that so many of you
286
00:10:54,045 --> 00:10:55,279
wanted to go so badly.
287
00:10:55,314 --> 00:10:57,548
So if you feel like
you have a very good reason
288
00:10:57,583 --> 00:10:59,016
to go to Florida,
I'm happy to hear you out.
289
00:10:59,050 --> 00:11:00,518
Great idea.
290
00:11:00,552 --> 00:11:02,253
So why doesn't everyone just
take the next five to six hours,
291
00:11:02,287 --> 00:11:03,821
come up with a statement
on why you feel you deserve
292
00:11:03,855 --> 00:11:05,622
to go to Florida, and Andy
and I will listen to it.
293
00:11:05,656 --> 00:11:07,190
No, that is a ridiculous
waste of time.
294
00:11:07,225 --> 00:11:08,458
For you, maybe.
295
00:11:08,492 --> 00:11:10,159
- Five to six hours?
- Three to four hours.
296
00:11:10,194 --> 00:11:12,028
- No, no, no, no.
- Just two to three hours--
297
00:11:12,062 --> 00:11:14,497
come up with a statement
over the next hour.
298
00:11:14,532 --> 00:11:16,065
30 minutes.
299
00:11:16,100 --> 00:11:18,000
I'm out.
300
00:11:18,035 --> 00:11:19,135
Okay, read it back to me.
301
00:11:19,169 --> 00:11:20,503
"Robert, great offer."
302
00:11:20,538 --> 00:11:21,903
Wish I could hit the links
with you in Florida,
303
00:11:21,938 --> 00:11:24,172
but a father of a newborn
really should be helping out
304
00:11:24,207 --> 00:11:25,374
"his wife
any chance he gets."
305
00:11:25,408 --> 00:11:27,843
Good, doesn't sound pushy.
306
00:11:27,877 --> 00:11:29,044
You're just stating a fact.
307
00:11:29,078 --> 00:11:31,012
Absolutely.
Works for me.
308
00:11:31,047 --> 00:11:34,383
- Okay, sending.
- Well done.
309
00:11:34,417 --> 00:11:36,184
And we managed to kill
the entire morning.
310
00:11:36,219 --> 00:11:37,152
We really did.
311
00:11:37,186 --> 00:11:39,387
[Phone beeps]
312
00:11:43,759 --> 00:11:45,926
He responded "LOL."
313
00:11:45,961 --> 00:11:48,429
[Laughs loudly]
314
00:11:54,101 --> 00:11:56,403
I have a new swimsuit
I need to break in.
315
00:11:56,437 --> 00:11:58,204
I already picked my team.
316
00:11:58,239 --> 00:12:00,907
Darryl, Oscar, Angela,
Phyllis, and Toby.
317
00:12:00,941 --> 00:12:02,876
And that is the team
that I am taking.
318
00:12:02,910 --> 00:12:04,210
What's that?
It's not up to me?
319
00:12:04,245 --> 00:12:06,112
I only have influence?
320
00:12:06,147 --> 00:12:09,015
Well, that's all
Baltzer Glattfielder had,
321
00:12:09,049 --> 00:12:12,418
and now no one
eats owls for Thanksgiving.
322
00:12:12,452 --> 00:12:14,253
You have two young,
dynamic people in this office
323
00:12:14,288 --> 00:12:16,322
who know trends,
who know youth.
324
00:12:16,356 --> 00:12:19,458
That's myself and Kelly Kapoor.
You need one of us there.
325
00:12:19,493 --> 00:12:21,193
Or both.
326
00:12:21,227 --> 00:12:23,195
Not both.
Just one. Me.
327
00:12:23,229 --> 00:12:25,330
Or if not me, Kelly.
Ideally, me.
328
00:12:25,364 --> 00:12:26,998
Again, youth knowledge.
329
00:12:27,032 --> 00:12:28,700
That's what you get
when you put Ryan Howard
330
00:12:28,734 --> 00:12:30,101
on your Special Project Team.
331
00:12:30,135 --> 00:12:34,839
Or Kelly Kapoor.
Again, not both. Thanks.
332
00:12:34,873 --> 00:12:36,374
Very impressive.
333
00:12:36,409 --> 00:12:38,109
He put a lot of work into that.
334
00:12:38,143 --> 00:12:41,212
Powerpoints are the peacocks
of the business world.
335
00:12:41,246 --> 00:12:43,380
All show, no meat.
336
00:12:43,415 --> 00:12:45,248
Because I feel like
that I'm at a place
337
00:12:45,283 --> 00:12:47,083
with my gambling rehab
338
00:12:47,118 --> 00:12:50,621
that I can finally start
going to dog racing again.
339
00:12:50,655 --> 00:12:55,526
You know, just sitting,
watching, enjoying the sport.
340
00:12:55,560 --> 00:12:57,760
Maybe putting down a few
dollars, if there's, like,
341
00:12:57,795 --> 00:13:00,095
a crazy mismatch or something.
342
00:13:00,130 --> 00:13:02,131
Okay, thank you, Kevin.
We'll let you know.
343
00:13:02,165 --> 00:13:03,966
- Thank you.
- When do we leave?
344
00:13:04,000 --> 00:13:05,535
Thank you.
345
00:13:05,569 --> 00:13:08,771
It has been a long,
lonely winter.
346
00:13:08,806 --> 00:13:12,642
Wow, seasonal affective
disorder, aka, "SAD."
347
00:13:12,676 --> 00:13:15,477
That sounds like
a very real thing, Toby.
348
00:13:15,511 --> 00:13:18,347
It is real.
Thank you for saying that.
349
00:13:18,381 --> 00:13:20,382
Yeah, wow, it's almost like
350
00:13:20,416 --> 00:13:25,253
we're not all experiencing
the same winter.
351
00:13:25,287 --> 00:13:26,655
"Florida Stanley" smiles.
352
00:13:26,689 --> 00:13:28,857
"Florida Stanley"
is happy to go to work.
353
00:13:28,891 --> 00:13:34,228
"Florida Stanley" is who
you want on your Florida team.
354
00:13:34,262 --> 00:13:36,430
It's still, well--
355
00:13:36,465 --> 00:13:38,466
Hey, guys, any spots left?
356
00:13:38,500 --> 00:13:40,300
Erin, you want
to go to Tallahassee?
357
00:13:40,335 --> 00:13:42,570
I do.
I really do.
358
00:13:42,604 --> 00:13:45,072
I think it would be
a nice way to clear my head.
359
00:13:45,106 --> 00:13:47,507
You know, I don't think
it's a good idea for you
360
00:13:47,541 --> 00:13:49,776
to clear your head anymore
than it has been already.
361
00:13:49,810 --> 00:13:52,412
I think you need a workplace
where the burdens
362
00:13:52,446 --> 00:13:55,515
of everyday life keep you
tethered to reality.
363
00:13:55,549 --> 00:13:56,916
Either or.
364
00:13:56,950 --> 00:13:59,786
But if you can find someone
to fill in, I would love to go.
365
00:13:59,820 --> 00:14:03,121
Well, it wouldn't be hard
to find someone to fill in.
366
00:14:03,155 --> 00:14:06,859
Really?
Oh, great, good.
367
00:14:06,893 --> 00:14:09,528
Now, is it too dark to say
that Cece's having an operation?
368
00:14:09,562 --> 00:14:12,664
I think you
need to go to Florida.
369
00:14:12,699 --> 00:14:14,366
I think you're right.
370
00:14:14,401 --> 00:14:15,701
It's only for three weeks.
371
00:14:15,735 --> 00:14:18,469
You know, with my mom and sister
at the house it'll be--
372
00:14:18,504 --> 00:14:20,738
- A total nightmare.
- I was going to say,
373
00:14:20,773 --> 00:14:22,440
"good, because I'll have
all the help I need."
374
00:14:22,474 --> 00:14:23,875
Yeah, that's what I'm saying.
375
00:14:23,909 --> 00:14:25,075
They're incredibly helpful.
You're lucky to have them.
376
00:14:25,110 --> 00:14:26,310
I mean, with them there,
377
00:14:26,344 --> 00:14:27,879
you probably
won't even know I'm gone.
378
00:14:27,913 --> 00:14:30,681
Exactly.
379
00:14:30,716 --> 00:14:32,316
Well--
380
00:14:32,350 --> 00:14:34,918
No, no, absolutely not.
381
00:14:34,952 --> 00:14:37,353
You are not going.
Over my dead body, no.
382
00:14:37,388 --> 00:14:39,923
Tunes, I'm really sorry.
383
00:14:39,957 --> 00:14:41,658
You're too essential
to the operation here.
384
00:14:41,692 --> 00:14:42,992
I can't let you go.
385
00:14:43,027 --> 00:14:45,094
I wouldn't say that.
That's a bit much.
386
00:14:45,129 --> 00:14:46,229
You know, Dwight,
if you didn't want me to go,
387
00:14:46,263 --> 00:14:47,597
the smart move would be
to tell Andy
388
00:14:47,632 --> 00:14:49,265
that I actually am
essential to the operation.
389
00:14:49,300 --> 00:14:51,199
That way I couldn't go.
390
00:14:51,234 --> 00:14:52,435
Jim is essential to--
391
00:14:52,469 --> 00:14:55,404
Hold on, just want
to get it on camera.
392
00:14:55,439 --> 00:14:59,508
Andy,
Jim is just too ess--
393
00:14:59,543 --> 00:15:00,776
Essential.
394
00:15:00,811 --> 00:15:02,511
This is stupid.
Cut.
395
00:15:02,546 --> 00:15:03,913
All right, I'm going
to pack my trunks.
396
00:15:03,947 --> 00:15:05,314
He doesn't even want to go.
397
00:15:05,348 --> 00:15:07,682
Well, I got a text from RC
inviting me to come down,
398
00:15:07,716 --> 00:15:11,319
so I think that's going
to make us roommates.
399
00:15:11,353 --> 00:15:12,253
Oh, my God.
400
00:15:12,287 --> 00:15:13,788
Hey, quick question.
401
00:15:13,823 --> 00:15:15,222
Do you shower at night
or do you shower in the morning?
402
00:15:15,257 --> 00:15:16,691
Because I want to shower
when you're showering
403
00:15:16,725 --> 00:15:20,294
to save some water.
404
00:15:20,329 --> 00:15:21,762
Okay, listen up, everyone.
405
00:15:21,796 --> 00:15:23,196
Here's who's going to Florida.
406
00:15:23,230 --> 00:15:24,598
- Kathy.
- What?
407
00:15:24,632 --> 00:15:25,966
- Stanley.
- No.
408
00:15:26,000 --> 00:15:27,000
- Ryan.
- No.
409
00:15:27,034 --> 00:15:28,368
- Erin.
- Fuck.
410
00:15:28,402 --> 00:15:29,970
And Jim.
411
00:15:30,004 --> 00:15:31,438
You got to be
fucking kidding me.
412
00:15:31,473 --> 00:15:35,509
Okay, okay.
413
00:15:35,543 --> 00:15:36,896
Florida group,
welcome to the team.
414
00:15:41,335 --> 00:15:43,102
Aah!
415
00:15:46,920 --> 00:15:49,754
Let's go.
Step it up, you runts.
416
00:15:49,788 --> 00:15:51,322
Infants, let's move.
417
00:15:51,357 --> 00:15:52,957
Why is it so hot in here?
418
00:15:52,992 --> 00:15:55,126
Hot?
What are you talking about?
419
00:15:55,160 --> 00:15:57,095
This is a nice,
temperate, Florida morning.
420
00:15:57,129 --> 00:15:59,297
85 degrees, 73% humidity.
421
00:15:59,331 --> 00:16:01,799
This is the exact environment
that you will be facing
422
00:16:01,833 --> 00:16:03,968
for the next three weeks
of your life.
423
00:16:04,003 --> 00:16:07,271
Welcome to Special Projects
Orientation.
424
00:16:07,305 --> 00:16:09,006
The next three weeks
of your life
425
00:16:09,040 --> 00:16:12,943
are going to be the most
miserable you've ever faced.
426
00:16:12,977 --> 00:16:15,845
They're going to be hard,
they're going to be dirty.
427
00:16:15,880 --> 00:16:18,348
You're going to wish
you were dead.
428
00:16:18,383 --> 00:16:19,783
But.
429
00:16:19,817 --> 00:16:21,650
But?
There's no buts.
430
00:16:21,684 --> 00:16:23,352
That's it,
you'll wish you were dead.
431
00:16:23,387 --> 00:16:25,854
You seem a little disturbed,
do you want to stay here?
432
00:16:25,889 --> 00:16:27,256
No, no, I want to go.
433
00:16:27,291 --> 00:16:29,825
Because if any of you
would prefer to stay here,
434
00:16:29,859 --> 00:16:32,995
all you need to do
is ring this bell.
435
00:16:33,030 --> 00:16:34,663
Is that the buzzer from Taboo?
436
00:16:34,697 --> 00:16:36,765
- Shut up, maggot!
- It is.
437
00:16:36,800 --> 00:16:38,333
You don't want to go,
ring the bell.
438
00:16:38,367 --> 00:16:40,402
Ring it, ring it.
439
00:16:40,436 --> 00:16:44,872
How many of you have seen
the documentary Deliverance?
440
00:16:44,907 --> 00:16:46,942
How did a mosquito get in here?
441
00:16:46,976 --> 00:16:49,377
I released 300 mosquitoes
into the conference room.
442
00:16:49,412 --> 00:16:50,878
Just temporarily.
443
00:16:50,913 --> 00:16:56,650
When I'm done, the frogs will
take care of the mosquitoes.
444
00:16:56,684 --> 00:17:00,321
Yes, then he brushes your soft,
supple cheeks
445
00:17:00,355 --> 00:17:03,190
with his worn,
leathery hands and says,
446
00:17:03,224 --> 00:17:06,994
"I'm going to make you
the seventh Mrs. Rosenblatt."
447
00:17:07,028 --> 00:17:08,595
Unless you ring the bell,
ring it.
448
00:17:08,629 --> 00:17:09,728
- No.
- Ring the bell.
449
00:17:09,763 --> 00:17:10,930
You want to spend
the rest of your life
450
00:17:10,965 --> 00:17:12,531
changing your husband's
colostomy bags?
451
00:17:12,566 --> 00:17:13,833
Huh, do you?
452
00:17:13,867 --> 00:17:16,235
Ring it. Ah.
[Bell rings]
453
00:17:16,270 --> 00:17:17,236
What was that?
454
00:17:17,271 --> 00:17:20,206
Mosquito.
455
00:17:25,111 --> 00:17:28,646
Orientation's over.
456
00:17:28,681 --> 00:17:30,449
Oh, Darryl, hey.
457
00:17:30,483 --> 00:17:31,616
Hey, what's up?
You called?
458
00:17:31,650 --> 00:17:33,685
Yeah, you know,
I felt really terrible
459
00:17:33,719 --> 00:17:35,287
that you got me
these lovely gloves
460
00:17:35,321 --> 00:17:36,421
and I didn't get you anything.
461
00:17:36,456 --> 00:17:37,589
It's cool, really.
462
00:17:37,623 --> 00:17:39,358
No, it's anything but cool.
463
00:17:39,392 --> 00:17:41,959
Now, I haven't
really had time to go out
464
00:17:41,994 --> 00:17:46,197
and buy you anything,
but here goes.
465
00:17:46,231 --> 00:17:49,867
- "This coupon entitles you to
one free tickle-monster attack."
466
00:17:49,901 --> 00:17:51,369
Yeah, they're Nate coupons,
467
00:17:51,403 --> 00:17:53,570
or "Na-pons,"
and they're all different.
468
00:17:53,605 --> 00:17:56,273
Cash that one in and I will
bring you a stick of gum.
469
00:17:56,308 --> 00:17:59,876
Any time, any place.
I'll find you.
470
00:17:59,910 --> 00:18:04,047
Thanks.
471
00:18:04,081 --> 00:18:04,914
Nice flowers.
472
00:18:04,948 --> 00:18:07,717
Thanks, they're from my mom.
473
00:18:07,751 --> 00:18:11,988
- Your mom?
- Yeah.
474
00:18:12,023 --> 00:18:14,189
Oh, so I guess
that was your mom
475
00:18:14,224 --> 00:18:16,691
who called me earlier
looking for the address?
476
00:18:16,726 --> 00:18:18,460
Real deep-voiced woman.
477
00:18:18,495 --> 00:18:20,095
Yeah, that's her.
478
00:18:20,130 --> 00:18:22,797
She said her name
was Brandon, I think.
479
00:18:22,832 --> 00:18:26,101
Your mom's name is Brandon?
480
00:18:26,136 --> 00:18:29,970
Yeah, Darryl,
my mom's name is Brandon.
481
00:18:34,643 --> 00:18:36,677
I guess I figured out
where I stand.
482
00:18:36,711 --> 00:18:40,714
This is a love beanie.
483
00:18:42,851 --> 00:18:46,686
Okay, Florida Team,
let's reconvene.
484
00:18:56,997 --> 00:19:00,733
I'm going to Florida
and I'm not coming back.
485
00:19:03,002 --> 00:19:05,171
So Sabre has setup
a conference room for our use
486
00:19:05,205 --> 00:19:06,972
while we're at corporate.
487
00:19:07,006 --> 00:19:08,640
So what is this
Special Project?
488
00:19:08,675 --> 00:19:10,809
Basically, Sabre has
tasked us with helping them
489
00:19:10,843 --> 00:19:12,311
branch into
the retail marketplace.
490
00:19:12,345 --> 00:19:14,280
They want to setup their own
version of an Apple Store.
491
00:19:14,314 --> 00:19:15,614
That sounds awesome.
492
00:19:15,648 --> 00:19:17,648
It did, it did.
493
00:19:17,683 --> 00:19:19,050
You know what might
be great is if instead
494
00:19:19,085 --> 00:19:21,652
of a genius bar,
we have a lounge area
495
00:19:21,687 --> 00:19:23,788
where people can ask questions
about the product
496
00:19:23,822 --> 00:19:25,957
with other customers
who liked it.
497
00:19:25,991 --> 00:19:27,725
Yeah, and they should
have a place where people
498
00:19:27,759 --> 00:19:30,161
can check their computers
or printers before they see you
499
00:19:30,196 --> 00:19:32,863
so you don't have
to carry it around like a dope.
500
00:19:32,898 --> 00:19:34,931
Like a coat check.
501
00:19:39,170 --> 00:19:40,604
Oh, don't write it down
unless you like it.
502
00:19:40,638 --> 00:19:42,473
Oh, I like it.
503
00:19:42,507 --> 00:19:43,740
It seems to me
that the Apple Store
504
00:19:43,774 --> 00:19:44,874
is kind of like a party,
505
00:19:44,909 --> 00:19:46,410
so I think our question is,
506
00:19:46,444 --> 00:19:47,711
"how do we make this
a better party?"
507
00:19:47,745 --> 00:19:49,512
No, we sell business tools,
508
00:19:49,546 --> 00:19:51,314
and the stores
need to reflect that.
509
00:19:51,348 --> 00:19:52,815
They need to be all business.
510
00:19:52,849 --> 00:19:55,384
Let all the other stores
look like a toy store.
511
00:19:55,419 --> 00:20:00,889
Right, think different
from Apple.
512
00:20:00,924 --> 00:20:02,358
Dwight, is now
a good time to go over
513
00:20:02,392 --> 00:20:06,495
what you expect of us?
514
00:20:11,000 --> 00:20:12,066
Yes.
515
00:20:12,101 --> 00:20:14,035
What are my expectations
for the group?
516
00:20:14,069 --> 00:20:16,004
I had been given
the responsibility
517
00:20:16,038 --> 00:20:17,839
to manage Stanley,
a solid player.
518
00:20:17,873 --> 00:20:19,941
Ryan, who is capable
of surprises.
519
00:20:19,975 --> 00:20:21,975
Erin, an excellent follower.
520
00:20:22,010 --> 00:20:25,346
And Kathy, a probably not
totally useless enigma.
521
00:20:25,380 --> 00:20:28,215
And, well, Jim.
522
00:20:28,250 --> 00:20:33,053
Under the right manager,
that's not a bad team.
523
00:20:33,087 --> 00:20:34,855
Perfectenschlag.
524
00:20:41,419 --> 00:20:42,819
I don't know how I'm going
to live here without you.
525
00:20:42,853 --> 00:20:43,786
Me neither.
526
00:20:43,821 --> 00:20:45,755
Hey, will you put this coat
on my chair?
527
00:20:45,789 --> 00:20:47,324
I just realized I'm not
going to need it down there.
528
00:20:47,358 --> 00:20:49,658
Yes, I will take your coat
and I will keep it with me.
529
00:20:49,692 --> 00:20:51,827
And I will sleep with it,
because it smells like you.
530
00:20:51,861 --> 00:20:55,197
No, no, no, no,
just put it on my chair.
531
00:20:55,232 --> 00:20:56,098
- All right.
- Bye.
532
00:20:56,133 --> 00:20:57,199
Bye.
533
00:20:57,234 --> 00:20:59,635
- Call me when you land.
- I will.
534
00:20:59,669 --> 00:21:01,203
Safe travels.
535
00:21:01,238 --> 00:21:02,471
Goodbye.
536
00:21:02,506 --> 00:21:04,606
For a very, very long time.
537
00:21:04,640 --> 00:21:07,142
Hmm?
Okay.
538
00:21:07,176 --> 00:21:13,147
It's only three weeks.
539
00:21:13,181 --> 00:21:15,382
All expenses paid.
540
00:21:15,416 --> 00:21:16,783
Yeah, Jim's going to be there.
541
00:21:16,817 --> 00:21:21,622
That marriage is not good.
Nobody knows better than me.
542
00:21:21,656 --> 00:21:23,089
Definitely we will.
543
00:21:23,124 --> 00:21:28,267
It's three weeks in Tallahassee.
What else is there to do?
544
00:21:30,791 --> 00:21:37,097
Sync and corrections by n17t01
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