1
00:00:01,035 --> 00:00:02,766
Andy's coming back today.
2
00:00:04,141 --> 00:00:07,844
Andy's coming back today.
Ha!
3
00:00:09,180 --> 00:00:11,014
Andy's coming back today.
4
00:00:11,082 --> 00:00:13,383
David Wallace sent him
on an outward-bound
5
00:00:13,451 --> 00:00:15,251
wilderness adventure
for a whole month
6
00:00:15,319 --> 00:00:16,920
to make him more decisive
and confident.
7
00:00:16,987 --> 00:00:19,022
He sent his own son too.
8
00:00:19,090 --> 00:00:23,259
And the counselor said
they both grew up big time.
9
00:00:25,729 --> 00:00:28,698
How was my summer?
It was pretty mixed.
10
00:00:28,766 --> 00:00:31,501
I invented a new power drink
made of beet run-off.
11
00:00:31,569 --> 00:00:36,005
Mmm. Mmm!
So that's really good.
12
00:00:36,073 --> 00:00:40,543
But I got some disappointing
medical news.
13
00:00:40,611 --> 00:00:42,145
Mr. Schrute,
the results are in.
14
00:00:42,213 --> 00:00:45,081
- You're not the father.
- I told you.
15
00:00:47,451 --> 00:00:50,453
Oh, God!
Oh, my God!
16
00:00:50,521 --> 00:00:53,123
Oh, what a summer.
17
00:00:53,190 --> 00:00:55,391
An emotional roller coaster.
18
00:00:55,459 --> 00:00:58,128
I ran over a turtle
in the parking lot...
19
00:00:58,195 --> 00:00:59,462
[Whimpering]
20
00:00:59,530 --> 00:01:04,100
But then I saved him by gluing
his shell back together.
21
00:01:04,168 --> 00:01:06,302
But I'm not that good
at puzzles...
22
00:01:06,370 --> 00:01:08,404
Oh, that piece doesn't
go there.
23
00:01:08,472 --> 00:01:09,906
Shh.
24
00:01:09,974 --> 00:01:14,177
So I patched him with stuff
from around the office.
25
00:01:14,245 --> 00:01:17,514
But I couldn't get
the pieces to fit right.
26
00:01:17,581 --> 00:01:22,085
Then, one day, while I was
reaching for the glue,
27
00:01:22,153 --> 00:01:24,854
I crushed his shell again.
28
00:01:24,922 --> 00:01:28,791
But I rebuilt him even better
that time.
29
00:01:28,859 --> 00:01:34,764
But it turned out
the turtle was already dead.
30
00:01:34,832 --> 00:01:39,202
Probably when I ran over him
the first time.
31
00:01:39,270 --> 00:01:43,173
For us, um...
Nothing new, really.
32
00:01:43,240 --> 00:01:44,207
The kids are great.
33
00:01:44,275 --> 00:01:45,575
You are really good at modesty.
34
00:01:45,643 --> 00:01:47,644
She's a genius. She painted
this incredible mural
35
00:01:47,711 --> 00:01:48,945
in the kids' room.
36
00:01:49,013 --> 00:01:50,647
There's a hippo leading
a parade of 500 children--
37
00:01:50,714 --> 00:01:53,149
Okay, well, you had
that interesting thing.
38
00:01:53,217 --> 00:01:54,584
Oh... yeah.
39
00:01:54,652 --> 00:01:56,920
Yes, Jim's friend
is starting a new company
40
00:01:56,987 --> 00:01:58,721
based on this idea that Jim had
41
00:01:58,789 --> 00:02:00,089
when they were back in college.
42
00:02:00,157 --> 00:02:02,025
It's sports marketing,
basically,
43
00:02:02,092 --> 00:02:03,459
but the athletes are partners.
44
00:02:03,527 --> 00:02:04,961
And he wanted Jim
to be a partner too.
45
00:02:05,029 --> 00:02:07,797
In Philly, so...
that doesn't really work
46
00:02:07,865 --> 00:02:09,499
for the family.
47
00:02:09,567 --> 00:02:12,702
But watch this guy make
a billion dollars off my idea.
48
00:02:12,770 --> 00:02:14,904
He said if it takes off,
he's gonna buy us a new car.
49
00:02:14,972 --> 00:02:17,040
An Altima or better.
50
00:02:17,107 --> 00:02:18,975
Kelly Kapoor is gone.
51
00:02:19,043 --> 00:02:22,645
Her fiance, Ravi, was hired
as a Pediatrics Professor
52
00:02:22,713 --> 00:02:24,147
at Miami University.
53
00:02:24,215 --> 00:02:25,882
I don't need 'em anymore.
54
00:02:25,950 --> 00:02:28,518
I am going to Miami,
bee-yotches,
55
00:02:28,586 --> 00:02:31,854
to hang with Lebron James
and Gloria Estefan.
56
00:02:31,922 --> 00:02:35,458
Miami University, in Ohio.
57
00:02:35,526 --> 00:02:38,528
On her last day, Kelly was still
a little confused about it.
58
00:02:38,596 --> 00:02:44,000
- Enjoy the snow, losers.
- I'm so happy for you, Kelly.
59
00:02:44,068 --> 00:02:45,935
Shortly after Kelly left,
Ryan quit
60
00:02:46,003 --> 00:02:48,471
and also moved to Ohio,
61
00:02:48,539 --> 00:02:50,373
for what he claimed were
unrelated reasons.
62
00:02:50,441 --> 00:02:52,408
I've actually done a lot
of market research,
63
00:02:52,476 --> 00:02:55,011
and it turns out that
Southwestern Ohio is going to be
64
00:02:55,079 --> 00:02:56,779
the next Silicon Valley.
65
00:02:56,847 --> 00:02:58,181
They call it
the Silicon Prairie.
66
00:02:58,249 --> 00:03:03,686
It's a big university town,
and, uh...
67
00:03:03,754 --> 00:03:06,055
It's not garbage,
it's my clothes.
68
00:03:06,123 --> 00:03:10,760
And that was our summer.
69
00:03:10,828 --> 00:03:14,230
- We good?
- Yeah. Thanks.
70
00:03:14,298 --> 00:03:15,531
Don't you guys have everything?
71
00:03:15,599 --> 00:03:18,401
I mean, it's just
a paper company.
72
00:03:18,469 --> 00:03:20,703
Yeah, well, we're more
following you guys
73
00:03:20,771 --> 00:03:22,272
to see how you turn out.
74
00:03:22,339 --> 00:03:23,873
Oh, yeah, I guess we were
75
00:03:23,941 --> 00:03:26,009
kind of dramatic
in the beginning.
76
00:03:26,076 --> 00:03:30,046
Well, I don't think anything's
gonna change in our lives now.
77
00:03:30,114 --> 00:03:32,282
With work and two kids,
there's just--
78
00:03:32,349 --> 00:03:34,250
Nothing interesting's
gonna happen to us
79
00:03:34,318 --> 00:03:37,820
for a long, long time.
80
00:03:41,892 --> 00:03:45,928
[Cheerful music]
81
00:04:00,583 --> 00:04:02,746
Sync and corrections by n17t01
www.addic7ed.com
82
00:04:03,927 --> 00:04:06,416
Andy's coming back today.
83
00:04:06,483 --> 00:04:08,351
Hey, uh, does anybody know
84
00:04:08,419 --> 00:04:09,519
where we throw these out?
85
00:04:09,586 --> 00:04:10,920
Oh, my God.
86
00:04:10,988 --> 00:04:13,790
- It's called a garbage can.
- Helpless.
87
00:04:13,857 --> 00:04:16,626
There's two new guys
back there with me now.
88
00:04:16,694 --> 00:04:19,796
They're in their 20s,
and we really get along.
89
00:04:19,863 --> 00:04:21,831
Looking good.
90
00:04:21,899 --> 00:04:25,702
Just three single guys...
getting into trouble.
91
00:04:25,769 --> 00:04:27,804
They're like the new
Jim and Dwight.
92
00:04:27,871 --> 00:04:29,972
[Chuckles]
93
00:04:30,040 --> 00:04:33,309
Oh, yes, yes.
I see that. Perfect.
94
00:04:33,377 --> 00:04:36,045
Hey, new Jim,
come sit on my face.
95
00:04:36,113 --> 00:04:39,515
No, thank you.
My name's Pete.
96
00:04:39,583 --> 00:04:43,052
No, Pete is not the new Jim.
97
00:04:43,120 --> 00:04:44,454
The only thing
we have in common is that
98
00:04:44,521 --> 00:04:47,023
neither of us wants to sit
on Meredith's face.
99
00:04:47,091 --> 00:04:48,791
And if that makes him
the new Jim,
100
00:04:48,859 --> 00:04:51,994
then every human being
in the world is the new Jim.
101
00:04:52,062 --> 00:04:54,630
Andy's here! Old Dwight,
new Dwight, Andy's here.
102
00:04:54,698 --> 00:04:57,467
New Jim, Tuna, Andy's here.
Pam, he's here.
103
00:04:57,534 --> 00:05:00,703
[Squeals]
Hey! Ahh.
104
00:05:00,771 --> 00:05:04,874
Wow, I thought about this place
a lot when I was on solo.
105
00:05:04,942 --> 00:05:07,543
Three days on a mountain,
it'll change you.
106
00:05:07,611 --> 00:05:10,046
[Chuckles]
The things we think we need.
107
00:05:10,114 --> 00:05:12,415
Clocks.
Yeah, right.
108
00:05:12,483 --> 00:05:14,717
It sounds amazing.
Tell us all about it.
109
00:05:14,785 --> 00:05:15,818
What are you still doing here?
110
00:05:15,886 --> 00:05:18,554
Wonderful, thanks.
111
00:05:18,622 --> 00:05:21,324
You know, I had this
really funny dream
112
00:05:21,392 --> 00:05:23,526
during outward bound
that you died.
113
00:05:23,594 --> 00:05:26,496
[Laughs] Brilliant.
114
00:05:26,563 --> 00:05:29,065
See me in my office later.
115
00:05:29,133 --> 00:05:31,601
The new guys.
All right.
116
00:05:31,668 --> 00:05:34,203
- Clark and, um...
- Pete.
117
00:05:34,271 --> 00:05:35,638
Da da da da...
118
00:05:35,706 --> 00:05:37,173
In Outward Bound,
it was all about nicknames.
119
00:05:37,241 --> 00:05:39,108
They called me Iceman.
120
00:05:39,176 --> 00:05:40,276
You will be called "Plop."
121
00:05:40,344 --> 00:05:42,178
What-- Why?
122
00:05:42,246 --> 00:05:43,246
'Cause you're always
taking dumps.
123
00:05:43,313 --> 00:05:44,380
No, I'm not.
124
00:05:44,448 --> 00:05:45,481
Come on, everybody defecates.
125
00:05:45,549 --> 00:05:47,884
Relax, Plop.
You will be called "Fart"
126
00:05:47,951 --> 00:05:50,019
- because you fart all the time.
- I love it.
127
00:05:50,087 --> 00:05:51,621
Actually, Andy,
we call this one
128
00:05:51,688 --> 00:05:53,089
"Dwight Jr."
129
00:05:53,157 --> 00:05:54,757
No, I prefer "Fart."
130
00:05:54,825 --> 00:05:57,260
No, Dwight Jr.
Infinitely better.
131
00:05:57,327 --> 00:05:58,428
You guys look exactly alike.
132
00:05:58,495 --> 00:06:01,130
Dwight, go stand next to him.
133
00:06:01,198 --> 00:06:02,465
- This is insane.
- I don't see it.
134
00:06:02,533 --> 00:06:04,600
I don't either.
I don't either.
135
00:06:04,668 --> 00:06:06,536
Whoa.
[Imitates explosion]
136
00:06:06,603 --> 00:06:09,338
Mind blown.
It's like father and son.
137
00:06:12,643 --> 00:06:14,977
It's...
[Sighs]
138
00:06:15,045 --> 00:06:17,780
Dwight, you cool if we
call him Dwight Jr.?
139
00:06:17,848 --> 00:06:20,950
Yes.
Yes, I am.
140
00:06:25,155 --> 00:06:26,088
That's okay.
141
00:06:26,156 --> 00:06:30,393
- Dwight Jr.
- Ha.
142
00:06:30,461 --> 00:06:31,894
In a way, it's like
I have a son.
143
00:06:31,962 --> 00:06:33,463
And who knows?
Maybe some day
144
00:06:33,530 --> 00:06:36,499
they'll hire someone who looks
like a younger version of him.
145
00:06:36,567 --> 00:06:38,434
And then I'll have a grandson.
146
00:06:38,502 --> 00:06:41,170
Well, I need to give
my cat up for adoption.
147
00:06:41,238 --> 00:06:43,606
- Mmm.
- The one who uses the doorbell,
148
00:06:43,674 --> 00:06:45,141
or the one
with the Mexican hat,
149
00:06:45,209 --> 00:06:47,276
or the one
with the rain galoshes,
150
00:06:47,344 --> 00:06:49,078
or the one that you let
go around naked?
151
00:06:49,146 --> 00:06:50,947
Angela's cats are cute.
152
00:06:51,014 --> 00:06:54,217
So cute that you just want
to eat 'em.
153
00:06:54,284 --> 00:06:57,620
But you can't eat cats.
154
00:06:57,688 --> 00:07:01,023
You can't eat cats, Kevin.
155
00:07:01,091 --> 00:07:05,094
- No, the one with the long hair
and the denim pants-- Comstock.
156
00:07:05,162 --> 00:07:06,295
- Oh.
- Okay, look.
157
00:07:06,363 --> 00:07:08,664
He's such a special kitty.
158
00:07:08,732 --> 00:07:11,100
I just want to find him
a good home.
159
00:07:11,168 --> 00:07:14,470
[Cheesy pop music playing]
160
00:07:14,538 --> 00:07:18,941
He loves those pants.
161
00:07:19,009 --> 00:07:20,710
I'll take him.
162
00:07:20,777 --> 00:07:22,345
Please.
After the turtle?
163
00:07:22,412 --> 00:07:25,815
I am enormously proud
of what I did for that turtle!
164
00:07:25,883 --> 00:07:28,451
Oscar. Oscar.
Will you take him?
165
00:07:28,519 --> 00:07:29,986
No, I'm a dog person.
166
00:07:30,053 --> 00:07:32,321
If you pray enough,
167
00:07:32,389 --> 00:07:35,124
you can change yourself
into a cat person.
168
00:07:35,192 --> 00:07:37,159
Those guys always
turn back, Angela.
169
00:07:37,227 --> 00:07:39,262
David, outward bound
was incredible.
170
00:07:39,329 --> 00:07:41,397
I was the best at slacklining.
171
00:07:41,465 --> 00:07:42,732
I ate a worm.
172
00:07:42,799 --> 00:07:43,933
Glad to hear it.
173
00:07:44,001 --> 00:07:46,135
You sound really confident
and decisive.
174
00:07:46,203 --> 00:07:48,037
[Knock on door]
Hey, you wanted to see me?
175
00:07:48,105 --> 00:07:50,473
Yeah.
I gotta go, David.
176
00:07:50,541 --> 00:07:51,741
Why is Nellie still here?
177
00:07:51,808 --> 00:07:53,242
You can only fire Nellie
for cause.
178
00:07:53,310 --> 00:07:56,078
Hmm. Then I will
make up a cause.
179
00:07:56,146 --> 00:07:58,180
Except you just told me
you were gonna make it up.
180
00:07:58,248 --> 00:08:00,583
Now, if she sues,
I have to testify against you.
181
00:08:00,651 --> 00:08:02,985
Then forget
I just told you that.
182
00:08:03,053 --> 00:08:05,855
I can't. I took a course
at the Weintraub Memory Academy.
183
00:08:05,923 --> 00:08:08,357
Sat next to this woman
named Beverly Brook.
184
00:08:08,425 --> 00:08:10,459
She had a Greek salad
for lunch.
185
00:08:10,527 --> 00:08:11,561
See what I mean?
186
00:08:11,628 --> 00:08:14,664
Now I know why Michael
hated you so much.
187
00:08:14,731 --> 00:08:16,566
No, he didn't.
188
00:08:21,805 --> 00:08:24,941
Good boy.
Getting big and strong.
189
00:08:25,008 --> 00:08:26,609
Snack foods!
190
00:08:26,677 --> 00:08:29,178
Yep.
[Both chuckle]
191
00:08:29,246 --> 00:08:30,580
Body by cheez-it.
192
00:08:30,647 --> 00:08:34,216
Ah, humor.
I have it too.
193
00:08:34,284 --> 00:08:36,852
Oh, boy,
I got a couple of tickets
194
00:08:36,920 --> 00:08:38,988
to The Slayer concert
ten months from now.
195
00:08:39,056 --> 00:08:40,056
You interested?
196
00:08:40,123 --> 00:08:43,259
I think I'm busy that night.
197
00:08:43,327 --> 00:08:44,460
Oh, or I would.
198
00:08:44,528 --> 00:08:46,362
Mmm, okay, well,
199
00:08:46,430 --> 00:08:48,731
we're both just kind of learning
as we go, aren't we?
200
00:08:48,799 --> 00:08:50,433
Learning what?
201
00:08:50,500 --> 00:08:55,204
Just... how this is gonna be.
You know.
202
00:08:55,272 --> 00:08:57,807
You have a beautiful
round head.
203
00:08:57,874 --> 00:08:59,976
Okay.
204
00:09:00,043 --> 00:09:02,244
So what kind of farming
you into, huh?
205
00:09:02,312 --> 00:09:05,881
More of a fruit man
or a root man?
206
00:09:05,949 --> 00:09:10,419
Hey, is this-- is this code
for, like, gay stuff?
207
00:09:10,487 --> 00:09:11,754
'Cause if so,
that's totally fine.
208
00:09:11,822 --> 00:09:13,222
Like, I'm fine with it.
209
00:09:13,290 --> 00:09:15,825
But you know, you should know
that I'm into the ladies.
210
00:09:15,892 --> 00:09:19,428
Spoken like a true root man.
211
00:09:19,496 --> 00:09:21,030
Hey, you know,
if you're ever swamped,
212
00:09:21,098 --> 00:09:23,766
I can make
some sales calls for you.
213
00:09:23,834 --> 00:09:26,202
- My calls?
- So could you give me
214
00:09:26,269 --> 00:09:28,104
a list of all your clients,
or just the leads
215
00:09:28,171 --> 00:09:29,105
that you haven't had time
to pursue yet?
216
00:09:29,172 --> 00:09:30,439
You want a list of my clients?
217
00:09:30,507 --> 00:09:31,641
You want my leads?
218
00:09:31,708 --> 00:09:33,175
Yeah, I'll just
give it a glance.
219
00:09:33,243 --> 00:09:34,644
- Okay.
- I'll give it a read.
220
00:09:34,711 --> 00:09:35,878
Yeah, with my leads,
and stuff like that.
221
00:09:35,946 --> 00:09:37,279
Yeah.
222
00:09:37,347 --> 00:09:38,681
'Cause you're interested
in going into sales.
223
00:09:38,749 --> 00:09:39,749
- I am.
- Wow, that's great.
224
00:09:39,816 --> 00:09:41,751
- Yeah.
- That's great.
225
00:09:41,818 --> 00:09:43,953
Okay, good.
Let's talk about that, okay?
226
00:09:44,021 --> 00:09:47,023
- Okay.
- You're not getting my clients.
227
00:09:47,090 --> 00:09:50,159
Nice try.
228
00:09:50,227 --> 00:09:52,728
Paranoid?
I'm not familiar with the word.
229
00:09:52,796 --> 00:09:54,397
And I really don't have time
to learn new words
230
00:09:54,464 --> 00:09:55,631
right now, okay?
231
00:09:55,699 --> 00:09:57,833
A pudgy 22-year-old
is trying to take my job.
232
00:10:00,836 --> 00:10:02,570
Jim, get ready for the
battle of your life.
233
00:10:02,637 --> 00:10:04,071
Done. Explain.
234
00:10:04,139 --> 00:10:07,041
The new guys-- Dwight Jr.
is after my job.
235
00:10:07,108 --> 00:10:09,577
Yeah, there is a shark
hiding inside
236
00:10:09,644 --> 00:10:10,744
that adorable little cherub.
237
00:10:10,812 --> 00:10:12,379
Oh, now I get
what Pete was talking about
238
00:10:12,447 --> 00:10:13,647
at the sales meeting yesterday.
239
00:10:13,715 --> 00:10:16,817
Wait, sales--
What sales meeting?
240
00:10:16,885 --> 00:10:17,952
The new guys called one.
241
00:10:18,019 --> 00:10:19,386
The new guys called
a sales meeting?
242
00:10:19,454 --> 00:10:21,822
Clark ended the whole thing
with a karate demonstration.
243
00:10:21,890 --> 00:10:23,557
Did you know there was
a belt above black?
244
00:10:23,625 --> 00:10:25,626
There's no belt above black.
245
00:10:25,694 --> 00:10:28,195
- Is there a belt above black?
- You should ask him.
246
00:10:28,263 --> 00:10:29,663
It's a color
you would never expect.
247
00:10:33,235 --> 00:10:35,769
Too easy.
[Chuckles]
248
00:10:35,837 --> 00:10:39,073
Attention, everyone.
Comstock is still available.
249
00:10:39,140 --> 00:10:41,709
Oscar has been flirting
with adopting him,
250
00:10:41,776 --> 00:10:44,011
but still hasn't given me
a definite yes or no.
251
00:10:44,079 --> 00:10:46,447
- Definitely no.
- Fine.
252
00:10:46,514 --> 00:10:48,115
For any interested candidates,
253
00:10:48,183 --> 00:10:50,217
I will be conducting
20-minute interviews.
254
00:10:50,285 --> 00:10:52,987
My ideal situation would be
255
00:10:53,054 --> 00:10:55,689
an independently wealthy
cute couple
256
00:10:55,757 --> 00:10:57,458
with a strong commitment
to education.
257
00:10:57,525 --> 00:10:59,593
Black or white--
I'm fine with either.
258
00:10:59,661 --> 00:11:02,029
But not both.
Listen, you're in this,
259
00:11:02,097 --> 00:11:05,799
but you need to wow me, okay?
260
00:11:05,867 --> 00:11:07,134
I wanted to talk to you about
261
00:11:07,202 --> 00:11:09,136
our working relationship
this year.
262
00:11:09,204 --> 00:11:11,538
It's going to be terrible.
263
00:11:11,606 --> 00:11:13,641
Not necessarily.
264
00:11:13,708 --> 00:11:16,644
No, I'm going to make sure
that it is.
265
00:11:16,711 --> 00:11:19,046
And if it isn't, I will take
immediate action
266
00:11:19,114 --> 00:11:20,614
to rectify that.
267
00:11:20,682 --> 00:11:25,085
Now, I don't like
to throw around the "B" word,
268
00:11:25,153 --> 00:11:28,689
but I'm gonna be
a huge bitch to you.
269
00:11:30,358 --> 00:11:33,594
Now, this is called
slacklining.
270
00:11:33,662 --> 00:11:35,629
I set up the old slackline
to teach the office
271
00:11:35,697 --> 00:11:38,299
the skills of focus
and discipline.
272
00:11:38,366 --> 00:11:39,900
Or in the case
of certain individuals,
273
00:11:39,968 --> 00:11:43,904
the skills of humiliation
and looking really dumb.
274
00:11:43,972 --> 00:11:45,239
If you make it
all the way across,
275
00:11:45,307 --> 00:11:46,507
your confidence will soar.
276
00:11:46,574 --> 00:11:49,476
But if you Toby out--
Aah! Aah!
277
00:11:49,544 --> 00:11:51,912
Then you'll feel like
a real Nellie.
278
00:11:51,980 --> 00:11:54,114
How 'bout a hand?
Screw those guys.
279
00:11:54,182 --> 00:11:57,518
Now, these are my actual
outward bound counselors,
280
00:11:57,585 --> 00:11:58,652
Rafe and Feather.
281
00:11:58,720 --> 00:12:00,921
- Iceman.
- That's me.
282
00:12:00,989 --> 00:12:02,923
The powder is for
your protection.
283
00:12:02,991 --> 00:12:04,158
Feather has permanent
athlete's foot.
284
00:12:04,225 --> 00:12:06,627
Feather, show them
how you dance
285
00:12:06,695 --> 00:12:09,463
upon the line of slack.
286
00:12:11,433 --> 00:12:13,500
You, uh--
You a sports guy?
287
00:12:13,568 --> 00:12:17,371
- Sure. Uh, boxing, tennis.
- Oh.
288
00:12:17,439 --> 00:12:19,440
Any team sports?
289
00:12:19,507 --> 00:12:23,243
Nascar.
The Amazing Race.
290
00:12:23,311 --> 00:12:24,812
Phillies fan, though, right?
291
00:12:24,879 --> 00:12:26,180
You mean horses?
292
00:12:26,247 --> 00:12:29,149
No, like ba-- baseball.
The baseball team.
293
00:12:29,217 --> 00:12:31,552
I like the Red Sox.
I'm from Vermont, so...
294
00:12:31,619 --> 00:12:35,489
Okay. Good talk.
295
00:12:35,557 --> 00:12:37,992
I have nothing in common
with Plop.
296
00:12:38,059 --> 00:12:40,060
All right, who's next?
Nellie.
297
00:12:40,128 --> 00:12:43,831
Oh, I would rather watch you
and your talented friends.
298
00:12:43,898 --> 00:12:45,799
Nonsense.
Get up here.
299
00:12:45,867 --> 00:12:48,035
- Go ahead.
- Come on.
300
00:12:50,772 --> 00:12:53,807
Uh, you gonna wear your heels?
301
00:12:53,875 --> 00:12:56,076
I'm very self-conscious
about my feet.
302
00:12:56,144 --> 00:12:57,177
Okay. Sure.
303
00:12:57,245 --> 00:13:00,481
There you go.
Atta girl.
304
00:13:00,548 --> 00:13:02,216
Hey, all right.
305
00:13:02,283 --> 00:13:05,185
Whoa! You suck.
[Chuckles]
306
00:13:05,253 --> 00:13:07,688
All right, who's next?
Darryl.
307
00:13:07,756 --> 00:13:08,989
This seems like
the kind of thing
308
00:13:09,057 --> 00:13:10,424
white people
with dreadlocks do.
309
00:13:10,492 --> 00:13:12,493
Dwight Jr., this looks
like your speed.
310
00:13:12,560 --> 00:13:14,661
Uh, I guess I can
give it a shot.
311
00:13:14,729 --> 00:13:16,163
Yeah, come on.
Get up here.
312
00:13:16,231 --> 00:13:19,266
- Just hop on up.
- Okay.
313
00:13:19,334 --> 00:13:23,103
Focus on the horizon.
314
00:13:23,171 --> 00:13:25,906
Whoa!
Look at this guy.
315
00:13:25,974 --> 00:13:29,610
[Cheers and applause]
316
00:13:29,677 --> 00:13:30,611
I've always been good
at anything
317
00:13:30,678 --> 00:13:32,179
that required balance.
318
00:13:32,247 --> 00:13:34,214
My doctor says I have
gigantic inner ears.
319
00:13:34,282 --> 00:13:37,451
[Cheers and applause]
Go, Dwight Jr.
320
00:13:37,519 --> 00:13:39,553
- Yes!
- Boo! Unimpressed.
321
00:13:39,621 --> 00:13:42,623
It's a tightrope for babies.
Boo.
322
00:13:42,690 --> 00:13:44,091
All right, let's see you do it.
323
00:13:44,159 --> 00:13:45,559
All right, let me show you
how a real man
324
00:13:45,627 --> 00:13:47,161
walks across a flaccid cord.
325
00:13:58,339 --> 00:13:59,473
Oh, ho ho ho!
326
00:13:59,541 --> 00:14:02,109
Who ordered the hot apple fail?
327
00:14:02,177 --> 00:14:04,878
Okay, I am just
getting started, okay?
328
00:14:04,946 --> 00:14:09,950
You got this.
This is all you.
329
00:14:10,018 --> 00:14:12,152
Oh!
[Laughter]
330
00:14:12,220 --> 00:14:15,355
- Oh...
- Got ourselves a yard sale.
331
00:14:18,660 --> 00:14:20,294
- Oh.
- Whoa.
332
00:14:20,361 --> 00:14:21,462
Balls and face.
333
00:14:21,529 --> 00:14:23,864
- It's not a race, Dwight.
- Aah!
334
00:14:26,701 --> 00:14:29,336
- Oh!
- Well, it's official--
335
00:14:29,404 --> 00:14:32,840
Old Dwight is lame,
and new Dwight is cool.
336
00:14:32,907 --> 00:14:34,274
That's not true.
337
00:14:34,342 --> 00:14:36,944
[All gasp]
Just give me another chance.
338
00:14:37,011 --> 00:14:38,612
- But your mouth is--
- This is a bloodbath.
339
00:14:38,680 --> 00:14:40,147
All right, I'm calling this.
340
00:14:40,215 --> 00:14:41,915
- What?
- It's enough of this.
341
00:14:41,983 --> 00:14:43,484
Everyone, let's go back
to work.
342
00:14:43,551 --> 00:14:45,252
This is a stupid activity.
343
00:14:45,320 --> 00:14:47,321
I would be embarrassed
to be good at it.
344
00:14:50,525 --> 00:14:53,660
Get--
345
00:14:53,728 --> 00:14:55,429
Idiots!
346
00:15:03,507 --> 00:15:06,142
Slacklining.
Big deal.
347
00:15:06,210 --> 00:15:07,977
Untie that rope,
give it to a couple
348
00:15:08,045 --> 00:15:09,212
of pigtailed school girls,
349
00:15:09,280 --> 00:15:10,647
let them start jumping with it
350
00:15:10,714 --> 00:15:13,383
while chanting a rhyme
and giggling about boys.
351
00:15:13,451 --> 00:15:15,218
Doesn't seem so macho now,
does it?
352
00:15:15,286 --> 00:15:18,088
It's a jump rope!
353
00:15:18,155 --> 00:15:20,390
[Cell phone chimes]
354
00:15:27,631 --> 00:15:29,365
[Twang]
355
00:15:29,433 --> 00:15:33,069
Dwight!
356
00:15:33,137 --> 00:15:35,071
Pam?
Hey, I'm up here.
357
00:15:35,139 --> 00:15:37,941
Up the ladder.
Come on.
358
00:15:47,051 --> 00:15:49,986
What are you doing?
359
00:15:50,054 --> 00:15:53,156
Come here.
I'll show you.
360
00:15:54,758 --> 00:15:57,093
Why do you want this cat?
361
00:15:57,161 --> 00:15:58,194
Um, I don't want it, really.
362
00:15:58,262 --> 00:16:00,063
How would you support the cat?
363
00:16:00,131 --> 00:16:02,165
What are your ambitions?
364
00:16:02,233 --> 00:16:03,166
I want to start
my own business.
365
00:16:03,234 --> 00:16:04,834
I want to be a millionaire.
366
00:16:04,902 --> 00:16:08,004
Lots of things-- Travel.
Make the world a better place.
367
00:16:08,072 --> 00:16:10,140
Earn an MBA at night.
368
00:16:10,207 --> 00:16:12,642
Have you taken any
concrete steps?
369
00:16:12,710 --> 00:16:15,879
Well, I'm still just...
fitting in here.
370
00:16:15,946 --> 00:16:17,080
You know, getting used
to the new job.
371
00:16:17,148 --> 00:16:21,217
- Mm-hmm.
- But definitely on the agenda.
372
00:16:21,285 --> 00:16:24,487
But that is a good idea, Angela.
I should make a list.
373
00:16:24,555 --> 00:16:27,390
Oh, come on, Pete.
374
00:16:27,458 --> 00:16:29,459
God, that's just sad.
375
00:16:29,527 --> 00:16:32,729
If he doesn't watch himself,
he's gonna be here for years
376
00:16:32,796 --> 00:16:34,764
doing nothing.
377
00:16:40,037 --> 00:16:43,106
Wow, maybe Pete is the new Jim.
378
00:16:46,644 --> 00:16:50,313
Do you see how the trapeze
completely surrounds the wire?
379
00:16:50,381 --> 00:16:52,482
That means it is
literally impossible
380
00:16:52,550 --> 00:16:54,150
for anyone to fall off.
381
00:16:54,218 --> 00:16:55,518
So you will merely sit below
382
00:16:55,586 --> 00:16:56,819
and be my counterweight
383
00:16:56,887 --> 00:16:58,688
as I pedal across
the parking lot
384
00:16:58,756 --> 00:16:59,856
to that telephone pole,
385
00:16:59,924 --> 00:17:01,357
- I will?
- You will.
386
00:17:01,425 --> 00:17:02,992
Yeah, we weigh about
the same, wouldn't you say?
387
00:17:03,060 --> 00:17:06,863
- Sure, if you weigh 105 pounds.
- So you'll do it?
388
00:17:06,931 --> 00:17:08,898
- No.
- Come on!
389
00:17:08,966 --> 00:17:11,167
This will be the only thrill
of your boring life.
390
00:17:11,235 --> 00:17:13,403
Dwight, you may find this
hard to believe,
391
00:17:13,470 --> 00:17:15,071
but I love my boring life...
392
00:17:15,139 --> 00:17:16,573
- Come on.
- Exactly the way it is.
393
00:17:16,640 --> 00:17:17,640
- No, Pam.
- Yes.
394
00:17:17,708 --> 00:17:19,042
And there's nothing you can say
395
00:17:19,109 --> 00:17:21,945
that would get me to run
the slightest risk of losing it.
396
00:17:22,012 --> 00:17:24,314
- Please? Please, Pam?
- Find someone else.
397
00:17:24,381 --> 00:17:25,782
I don't know, ask Phyllis.
398
00:17:25,849 --> 00:17:27,517
I can't use Phyllis.
Are you kidding me?
399
00:17:27,585 --> 00:17:29,052
The moment she steps
off this bar
400
00:17:29,119 --> 00:17:30,453
I'll be launched into space.
401
00:17:30,521 --> 00:17:33,523
God, you're so insensitive!
402
00:17:38,128 --> 00:17:39,128
Why are you getting rid of it?
403
00:17:39,196 --> 00:17:40,363
Allergies.
404
00:17:40,431 --> 00:17:42,532
- Your husband?
- No, the baby.
405
00:17:42,600 --> 00:17:44,701
Please, it's my husband's
favorite cat.
406
00:17:44,768 --> 00:17:46,302
He's broken up about it.
407
00:17:46,370 --> 00:17:48,104
It's the only time
I've seen him cry
408
00:17:48,172 --> 00:17:49,272
other than our wedding night.
409
00:17:49,340 --> 00:17:52,575
You know what?
I will take Comstock.
410
00:17:52,643 --> 00:17:56,813
Really?
Oh, Oscar, thank you!
411
00:17:56,880 --> 00:17:58,581
I'll come by after work
and pick him up.
412
00:17:58,649 --> 00:18:01,851
Yay!
Oh, poor Robert.
413
00:18:01,919 --> 00:18:03,453
He won't get to say good-bye.
414
00:18:03,520 --> 00:18:05,255
He has this business dinner
tonight.
415
00:18:05,322 --> 00:18:07,257
Oh, c'est la vie.
416
00:18:07,324 --> 00:18:11,928
Please don't teach
the cat French.
417
00:18:11,996 --> 00:18:14,097
[Chuckles] Yeah, good news.
418
00:18:14,164 --> 00:18:15,431
Tonight, when you come over
for dinner,
419
00:18:15,499 --> 00:18:18,468
you can play
with your old buddy Comstock.
420
00:18:27,378 --> 00:18:28,978
You ready?
421
00:18:29,046 --> 00:18:30,747
Yeah.
422
00:18:30,814 --> 00:18:31,848
You know what?
I'll meet you down there.
423
00:18:31,915 --> 00:18:32,949
I've just gotta make
a quick call.
424
00:18:33,017 --> 00:18:35,652
Okay.
425
00:18:42,493 --> 00:18:44,761
Okay.
426
00:18:44,828 --> 00:18:48,831
All right...
427
00:18:48,899 --> 00:18:51,868
Oh, God.
428
00:18:51,935 --> 00:18:54,671
[Exhales]
429
00:19:24,601 --> 00:19:29,005
Attention, employees
of Dunder Mifflin.
430
00:19:29,073 --> 00:19:32,308
Everyone thinks the new guys
are so cool
431
00:19:32,376 --> 00:19:34,344
'cause they can slackline.
432
00:19:34,411 --> 00:19:35,878
Ooh!
433
00:19:35,946 --> 00:19:38,981
Hey, Clark, this is what
a real salesman looks like.
434
00:19:40,984 --> 00:19:42,919
They say that you only
live once,
435
00:19:42,986 --> 00:19:44,387
and I'm about to prove it.
436
00:19:44,455 --> 00:19:46,989
- Dwight Schrute!
- Dwight!
437
00:19:47,057 --> 00:19:48,991
Hey, man, it's Halpert.
438
00:19:49,059 --> 00:19:51,094
Did you go
to the other guy yet?
439
00:19:51,161 --> 00:19:55,098
Great. Don't.
I'm in.
440
00:19:55,165 --> 00:19:59,435
[Chuckles]
Yeah, yep, I'm all in.
441
00:19:59,503 --> 00:20:02,772
Okay, talk to you soon.
Bye.
442
00:20:07,244 --> 00:20:09,846
Yeah!
443
00:20:12,616 --> 00:20:14,717
Whoo-hoo!
444
00:20:15,819 --> 00:20:18,454
Whoo-hoo!
445
00:20:18,522 --> 00:20:23,025
[All gasp, cry out]
446
00:20:23,093 --> 00:20:26,028
- Call somebody.
- Hang on!
447
00:20:26,096 --> 00:20:29,866
Hang on!
Hold on, Dwight!
448
00:20:29,933 --> 00:20:31,567
[Screams]
449
00:20:31,635 --> 00:20:33,870
In the parking lot today,
there was a circus.
450
00:20:33,937 --> 00:20:37,607
The copier did tricks
on the high wire.
451
00:20:37,674 --> 00:20:39,809
A lady tried to give away
a baby that looked like a cat.
452
00:20:39,877 --> 00:20:43,379
There was a Dwight impersonator
and a Jim impersonator.
453
00:20:43,447 --> 00:20:45,314
A strongman crushed a turtle.
454
00:20:45,382 --> 00:20:49,385
I laughed and I cried.
455
00:20:49,453 --> 00:20:52,588
Not bad for a day in the life
of a dog food company.
456
00:20:57,664 --> 00:20:59,832
Crap, sorry, Nellie.
457
00:20:59,900 --> 00:21:02,434
Once again, I understand
that old habits die hard,
458
00:21:02,502 --> 00:21:06,438
but if everyone would kindly
walk their refuse
459
00:21:06,506 --> 00:21:09,341
to the trash bins,
instead of tossing them,
460
00:21:09,409 --> 00:21:10,843
then we would--
461
00:21:10,911 --> 00:21:12,845
Oh...
Swish.
462
00:21:12,913 --> 00:21:14,446
Oh, it's nothing to do with me.
463
00:21:14,514 --> 00:21:19,051
I just happen to be sitting
near to where the bins are.
464
00:21:19,119 --> 00:21:21,320
There are two things
that I am passionate about--
465
00:21:21,388 --> 00:21:26,792
Recycling and revenge.
[Snickers]
466
00:21:27,365 --> 00:21:28,370
Flook.
467
00:21:28,400 --> 00:21:29,400
Sync and corrections by n17t01
www.addic7ed.com