1
00:00:06,752 --> 00:00:09,888
Can you guys come
with me for a minute?

2
00:00:09,922 --> 00:00:11,974
I know you saw me
with the Senator.

3
00:00:12,025 --> 00:00:13,275
I think I'm in love,

4
00:00:13,309 --> 00:00:15,060
possibly for the first time.

5
00:00:15,094 --> 00:00:17,863
So, yes, Senator Lipton
and I are having an affair.

6
00:00:17,897 --> 00:00:20,783
I hope that I can count
on your sensitivity,

7
00:00:20,817 --> 00:00:24,436
maturity, and discretion.

8
00:00:30,927 --> 00:00:32,544
Why?

9
00:00:32,578 --> 00:00:35,547
[Cheerful music]

10
00:00:39,488 --> 00:00:41,814
Sync and corrections by n17t01
www.addic7ed.com

11
00:00:41,988 --> 00:00:43,355
All right, good.
Yeah, just sell it

12
00:00:43,389 --> 00:00:45,224
and get the best price
you can, okay?

13
00:00:45,258 --> 00:00:47,059
Or we can hope
for a holiday rally?

14
00:00:47,093 --> 00:00:48,593
Mike, I'm not a day trader.

15
00:00:48,611 --> 00:00:51,063
I'm just a first responder
in a disaster.

16
00:00:51,097 --> 00:00:53,448
Andy's family had
a total meltdown.

17
00:00:53,483 --> 00:00:54,900
His dad blew through
all their money

18
00:00:54,934 --> 00:00:56,902
and took off to Argentina
with a younger woman.

19
00:00:56,936 --> 00:00:58,453
And his brother,
Walt Jr.,

20
00:00:58,488 --> 00:00:59,822
locked himself
in the wine cellar.

21
00:00:59,856 --> 00:01:01,773
The weirdest part is Andy.

22
00:01:01,791 --> 00:01:03,742
The aftermath got
dumped on him,

23
00:01:03,776 --> 00:01:06,962
and the way he's been
handling it is just so--

24
00:01:06,996 --> 00:01:08,947
- Competent.
- Right?

25
00:01:08,965 --> 00:01:10,448
Are the nards hurtin'?
Yeah, you bet.

26
00:01:10,466 --> 00:01:11,500
Got kicked pretty hard.

27
00:01:11,534 --> 00:01:13,051
Family shattered, super sad.

28
00:01:13,086 --> 00:01:14,319
But I'm kinda crushin' it

29
00:01:14,354 --> 00:01:15,771
in the damage control
department.

30
00:01:15,805 --> 00:01:17,556
So, that's cool.

31
00:01:17,590 --> 00:01:19,575
I wish my dad could see me now.

32
00:01:19,609 --> 00:01:22,194
Of course, he caused
this whole mess, so...

33
00:01:22,228 --> 00:01:24,012
fuck him.

34
00:01:24,063 --> 00:01:25,981
Kevin, listen to me.

35
00:01:26,015 --> 00:01:27,766
I'm in love with the Senator.

36
00:01:27,800 --> 00:01:29,301
And I need time
to sort this out

37
00:01:29,319 --> 00:01:31,570
in a responsible manner.

38
00:01:31,604 --> 00:01:34,106
So I need your help
in keeping it a secret,

39
00:01:34,140 --> 00:01:36,975
because this means
the world to me.

40
00:01:36,993 --> 00:01:38,360
Okay?

41
00:01:38,411 --> 00:01:40,345
That's beautiful.

42
00:01:40,380 --> 00:01:42,447
No, I-I totally get that.

43
00:01:42,481 --> 00:01:45,000
Can you do this, Kevin?

44
00:01:45,034 --> 00:01:48,287
I really want to.

45
00:01:48,321 --> 00:01:50,672
Whatever happens,
always remember that.

46
00:01:50,707 --> 00:01:52,541
I don't know what that means.
Hey, hey.

47
00:01:52,592 --> 00:01:54,293
Oh, great.

48
00:01:54,327 --> 00:01:58,597
Yeah, um, I'll get
right back to you.

49
00:01:58,631 --> 00:02:02,351
Hey, guys, has anyone ever heard
of Iris Black on the radio?

50
00:02:02,353 --> 00:02:04,469
Yeah, she hosts
the Dr. Laura show.

51
00:02:04,503 --> 00:02:06,021
Nope, that's Dr. Laura.

52
00:02:06,055 --> 00:02:07,639
Well, her show Bizwhiz

53
00:02:07,673 --> 00:02:09,191
wants someone
from Dunder Mifflin

54
00:02:09,225 --> 00:02:10,309
to come on the air today.

55
00:02:10,343 --> 00:02:12,510
Does anybody feel
particularly passionate

56
00:02:12,528 --> 00:02:14,012
about local business issues?

57
00:02:14,030 --> 00:02:17,699
I do. I do. I do.
I do. I do.

58
00:02:17,734 --> 00:02:19,735
The media can make you famous.

59
00:02:19,786 --> 00:02:21,837
And do you have any idea
how easy it is

60
00:02:21,871 --> 00:02:24,022
to sell something
when you're famous?

61
00:02:24,057 --> 00:02:25,908
"Uh, yeah, wow.

62
00:02:25,959 --> 00:02:29,795
10 reams of 40-pound bond
at only $6.90 after discount?

63
00:02:29,829 --> 00:02:32,497
Uh, whatever you say,
Brad Pitt."

64
00:02:32,531 --> 00:02:35,533
It's that easy.

65
00:02:35,551 --> 00:02:38,170
Hey, so that good-looking
single brother of yours?

66
00:02:38,204 --> 00:02:40,572
Heard he was
in a downward spiral with booze.

67
00:02:40,607 --> 00:02:42,925
Yeah.
He's in rehab, actually.

68
00:02:42,976 --> 00:02:44,009
Which place?

69
00:02:44,043 --> 00:02:45,227
The one right near Philly?

70
00:02:45,261 --> 00:02:46,511
I could be there in an hour.

71
00:02:46,546 --> 00:02:48,046
No, it's in New Mexico.

72
00:02:48,064 --> 00:02:49,514
Oh.

73
00:02:49,548 --> 00:02:53,101
So, how are you holding up?

74
00:02:53,152 --> 00:02:56,738
We're done, Meredith.

75
00:02:56,773 --> 00:02:59,608
[Gibberish]

76
00:02:59,659 --> 00:03:01,226
Greta the tittle-tattle
prattled on

77
00:03:01,244 --> 00:03:02,411
about the little metal bottle.

78
00:03:02,445 --> 00:03:03,912
- Oh, my God.
- She spat a bit of spittle--

79
00:03:03,947 --> 00:03:05,330
- Dwight.
[All groaning]

80
00:03:05,365 --> 00:03:06,999
In a bitter battle--
Hey, hey.

81
00:03:07,033 --> 00:03:08,784
Stop questioning
my methods, okay?

82
00:03:08,835 --> 00:03:12,955
I was chosen for this task
for a very good reason.

83
00:03:13,006 --> 00:03:14,189
No.
You chose yourself.

84
00:03:14,223 --> 00:03:17,075
Tricky Siskel spat a bit
of wicked biscuit--

85
00:03:17,093 --> 00:03:19,044
All right, guys, there's a lot
of assets here

86
00:03:19,078 --> 00:03:20,462
that my dad couldn't steal.

87
00:03:20,513 --> 00:03:23,432
Now, first of all,
there is the family boat,

88
00:03:23,466 --> 00:03:25,300
a 43-foot Tartan sloop.

89
00:03:25,351 --> 00:03:27,769
My lawyer has lined up
a buyer in the Bahamas.

90
00:03:27,804 --> 00:03:30,522
The sale would cover
the cost of a condo

91
00:03:30,556 --> 00:03:32,391
and living expenses for my mom.

92
00:03:32,425 --> 00:03:33,392
- Sounds great.
- Perfect.

93
00:03:33,426 --> 00:03:35,427
Totally, except
it is a no-go.

94
00:03:35,445 --> 00:03:38,063
This boat was the heart
and soul of our family.

95
00:03:38,097 --> 00:03:39,815
So what else we got?
Non-boat ideas.

96
00:03:39,866 --> 00:03:41,817
- What happened?
- Jammed.

97
00:03:41,868 --> 00:03:43,151
- Excuse me a second.
- Could this day get worse?

98
00:03:43,202 --> 00:03:44,236
[Laughs]

99
00:03:44,270 --> 00:03:47,289
Yeah, I think this day
could get worse.

100
00:03:47,323 --> 00:03:51,159
- What does that mean?
- Kevin.

101
00:03:51,210 --> 00:03:53,795
I don't know
what you're talking about.

102
00:03:53,830 --> 00:03:54,946
She could get, like,

103
00:03:54,964 --> 00:03:57,716
60 packages of ramen noodles
for 5 bucks.

104
00:03:57,750 --> 00:03:59,451
- Oh, hey, sorry.
- She could eat for a month.

105
00:03:59,469 --> 00:04:00,452
All right,
what's the grand total?

106
00:04:00,470 --> 00:04:01,470
Did we make our nut?

107
00:04:01,504 --> 00:04:04,723
If we sell everything
but the boat,

108
00:04:04,757 --> 00:04:07,342
your mom should be set
for about six months.

109
00:04:07,393 --> 00:04:09,644
Guys, you don't understand.

110
00:04:09,679 --> 00:04:11,930
This boat's been in our family
since before I was born.

111
00:04:11,964 --> 00:04:15,100
Yeah, don't you guys
have that place

112
00:04:15,134 --> 00:04:16,518
where you used
to spend your summers

113
00:04:16,569 --> 00:04:18,320
and have all those memories?

114
00:04:18,354 --> 00:04:20,305
- I worked at a Jiffy Lube.
- See?

115
00:04:20,323 --> 00:04:21,806
I bet you wouldn't
sell that Jiffy Lube

116
00:04:21,824 --> 00:04:23,658
for all the money in the world,
would you, Darryl?

117
00:04:23,693 --> 00:04:26,528
I would if I owned it
and I went broke.

118
00:04:26,579 --> 00:04:28,163
All right.
Uh, all right.

119
00:04:28,197 --> 00:04:30,699
I'm gonna tell the lawyer
to pull the trigger on the boat.

120
00:04:30,750 --> 00:04:32,417
Yes, the boat means everything
to my family,

121
00:04:32,452 --> 00:04:34,703
but we need the money.

122
00:04:34,754 --> 00:04:35,987
Got the memories,
don't need the boat.

123
00:04:36,005 --> 00:04:37,122
Can't cry about it.

124
00:04:37,156 --> 00:04:38,373
What are you gonna do?
Cry about it?

125
00:04:38,424 --> 00:04:39,513
Excuse me.

126
00:04:41,344 --> 00:04:44,212
Oh, okay.
No problem.

127
00:04:44,263 --> 00:04:46,381
Thanks.

128
00:04:46,432 --> 00:04:48,100
Hey, guys, WPTU called.

129
00:04:48,134 --> 00:04:49,518
The interview's off.

130
00:04:49,552 --> 00:04:50,936
They're opening
a new cupcake store

131
00:04:50,970 --> 00:04:53,972
at the steamtown mall, and
Iris wants to cover that, so...

132
00:04:54,006 --> 00:04:55,524
Well, why don't I go
and tell Dwight,

133
00:04:55,558 --> 00:04:58,860
so he can stop being
such a complete nipple?

134
00:04:58,895 --> 00:05:00,562
He's gonna be disappointed.

135
00:05:00,613 --> 00:05:03,681
Yes, he is.
And you know what?

136
00:05:03,699 --> 00:05:05,517
We cannot let that happen.

137
00:05:10,623 --> 00:05:11,573
Fax?

138
00:05:11,624 --> 00:05:16,027
Oh, yeah.
Just-- just a minute.

139
00:05:16,045 --> 00:05:17,546
Watermelon teeth.

140
00:05:17,580 --> 00:05:19,464
This isn't how I would
cheer up just anyone,

141
00:05:19,499 --> 00:05:21,716
but it's a girlfriend's job
to know her man,

142
00:05:21,751 --> 00:05:23,585
and I know Andy.

143
00:05:23,636 --> 00:05:25,703
He is seriously juvenile.

144
00:05:25,721 --> 00:05:27,506
Cool.

145
00:05:27,540 --> 00:05:28,706
He's, like, 40, though, right?

146
00:05:28,724 --> 00:05:29,891
Oh, no.

147
00:05:29,926 --> 00:05:32,594
He couldn't be
more than late 30s, tops.

148
00:05:32,645 --> 00:05:37,265
Awesome.
Have fun.

149
00:05:37,316 --> 00:05:38,266
[Trills lips]

150
00:05:38,317 --> 00:05:41,069
Dunder Mifflin.
Dunder Mifflin.

151
00:05:41,104 --> 00:05:42,270
Good, sounds--

152
00:05:42,321 --> 00:05:48,276
[Phone ringing]

153
00:05:48,327 --> 00:05:49,561
This is Dwight Schrute.

154
00:05:49,579 --> 00:05:52,330
Please hold for Ms. Black.

155
00:05:52,365 --> 00:05:53,898
[Keyboard playing upbeat theme]

156
00:05:53,916 --> 00:05:55,534
[American accent]
And welcome back to Bizwhiz.

157
00:05:55,568 --> 00:05:57,452
I'm Iris Black.

158
00:05:57,503 --> 00:05:59,037
On the line,
we have Dunder Mifflin

159
00:05:59,071 --> 00:06:01,289
senior sales associate
Dwight Schrute.

160
00:06:01,340 --> 00:06:03,592
Iris, thank you so much
for having me.

161
00:06:03,626 --> 00:06:05,510
[Knocks]

162
00:06:05,545 --> 00:06:09,347
Help! My teeth are all
messed up in my mouth.

163
00:06:09,382 --> 00:06:10,765
[Laughs]

164
00:06:10,800 --> 00:06:12,083
Did you need something?

165
00:06:12,101 --> 00:06:16,021
Oh, I just need
your signature on this.

166
00:06:16,055 --> 00:06:17,556
Okay.

167
00:06:22,195 --> 00:06:23,945
Thanks.

168
00:06:27,783 --> 00:06:29,768
Kevin, we're out of 1138 forms.

169
00:06:29,802 --> 00:06:31,102
Did you order more?

170
00:06:31,120 --> 00:06:33,755
I did not.

171
00:06:33,789 --> 00:06:35,407
Well, I don't know
why I'm surprised.

172
00:06:35,441 --> 00:06:37,659
Literally nothing you could do
could surprise me anymore.

173
00:06:37,710 --> 00:06:39,411
Oh, really, Angela?

174
00:06:39,445 --> 00:06:41,796
That's interesting.

175
00:06:41,831 --> 00:06:44,299
'Cause I do think
that I could surprise you.

176
00:06:44,333 --> 00:06:45,467
[Laughs]

177
00:06:45,501 --> 00:06:48,053
I think that I could
surprise you all the--

178
00:06:48,087 --> 00:06:49,638
Ah!

179
00:06:49,672 --> 00:06:51,623
I have to go to the bathroom.

180
00:06:51,641 --> 00:06:53,842
That doesn't surprise me.

181
00:06:53,893 --> 00:06:55,710
That actually wasn't
the worst cover.

182
00:06:55,745 --> 00:06:57,646
I'd say at least once a week,
Kevin runs out of the room,

183
00:06:57,680 --> 00:07:00,015
shouting that he has to go
to the bathroom.

184
00:07:00,049 --> 00:07:03,401
Oh! I have to go
to the bathroom!

185
00:07:03,436 --> 00:07:04,436
[Elevator bell rings]

186
00:07:04,470 --> 00:07:06,304
I have to go to the bathroom!

187
00:07:08,608 --> 00:07:09,858
[Tires screeching]

188
00:07:15,331 --> 00:07:17,999
Okay, who wants to go
for a super fun lunch

189
00:07:18,034 --> 00:07:19,651
with a super fun girlfriend?

190
00:07:19,669 --> 00:07:22,671
Look, it's not
that I don't want--

191
00:07:22,705 --> 00:07:24,172
Okay, come on, I got someone
to cover the phones,

192
00:07:24,207 --> 00:07:26,591
I heard on the radio
about a new cupcake place

193
00:07:26,626 --> 00:07:29,711
we could go for dessert,
perfect.

194
00:07:29,762 --> 00:07:33,265
All I ever wanted to do
was sail the damn thing.

195
00:07:33,299 --> 00:07:34,666
But dad wouldn't let me.

196
00:07:34,684 --> 00:07:38,270
He said, "you can't be a skipper
until you're a man."

197
00:07:38,304 --> 00:07:39,471
You know,
I'd reach for the wheel,

198
00:07:39,505 --> 00:07:41,773
and he'd just
smack my hand away.

199
00:07:41,807 --> 00:07:42,774
Well, guess what.

200
00:07:42,808 --> 00:07:44,609
Now I'm the man of the family,

201
00:07:44,644 --> 00:07:48,530
and we're selling
the damn thing.

202
00:07:48,564 --> 00:07:50,265
So I'm never gonna have
the chance.

203
00:07:50,299 --> 00:07:52,450
Well, when does
the boat leave, exactly?

204
00:07:52,485 --> 00:07:53,785
Tonight.

205
00:07:53,819 --> 00:07:56,454
Then screw lunch.
Let's go for a sunset sail.

206
00:07:56,489 --> 00:08:00,375
Yeah, right.
It's in Stamford, Connecticut.

207
00:08:00,409 --> 00:08:01,743
We'd have to leave,
like, right now.

208
00:08:01,794 --> 00:08:03,245
Okay, well, then let's leave,
like, right now.

209
00:08:03,296 --> 00:08:04,329
Yeah, okay.

210
00:08:04,363 --> 00:08:06,214
Yeah, okay.
Let's go.

211
00:08:06,249 --> 00:08:07,365
Seriously?

212
00:08:07,383 --> 00:08:10,552
Of course seriously.
Get your coat on.

213
00:08:10,586 --> 00:08:12,003
- All right.
- All right.

214
00:08:12,037 --> 00:08:13,705
- Let's do it.
- Let's do it.

215
00:08:15,055 --> 00:08:17,773
Iris, let me tell you,
David Wallace is the CEO,

216
00:08:17,807 --> 00:08:19,224
but he's not hands-on.

217
00:08:19,259 --> 00:08:22,277
So the day-to-day operations
are entirely under your command?

218
00:08:22,312 --> 00:08:26,465
Entirely is the perfect way
to describe it, Iris.

219
00:08:26,499 --> 00:08:29,735
Uh, excuse me, I'm being told
by my sound engineer Steve

220
00:08:29,769 --> 00:08:31,803
that, uh, there is
a clinking sound

221
00:08:31,821 --> 00:08:32,838
coming from your end.

222
00:08:32,872 --> 00:08:34,990
Does your shirt have buttons?

223
00:08:35,025 --> 00:08:36,308
Yes.

224
00:08:36,343 --> 00:08:38,410
I'm so sorry, we are going
to have to ask you

225
00:08:38,445 --> 00:08:40,079
to remove the shirt altogether.

226
00:08:46,670 --> 00:08:48,003
Now then.

227
00:08:48,038 --> 00:08:49,505
We were saying,
when my workers gather--

228
00:08:49,539 --> 00:08:51,173
Oh, I'm so sorry.

229
00:08:51,207 --> 00:08:54,326
I am told we are still
having problems, Mr. Schrute.

230
00:08:54,344 --> 00:08:56,512
Your voice, it's sounding
a little feminine.

231
00:08:56,546 --> 00:08:57,680
That's impossible.

232
00:08:57,714 --> 00:08:58,831
Are you, by any chance,

233
00:08:58,865 --> 00:09:01,383
wearing pants
with a metallic zipper?

234
00:09:05,271 --> 00:09:06,689
[Sighs]

235
00:09:06,723 --> 00:09:08,440
The Senator is exhausted.

236
00:09:08,475 --> 00:09:10,059
This campaign
is wearing him out.

237
00:09:10,110 --> 00:09:11,393
It's a tough one.

238
00:09:11,444 --> 00:09:13,946
That man he's up against
is so dirty,

239
00:09:13,980 --> 00:09:16,565
and the Senator's just
pushing back as hard as he can.

240
00:09:16,616 --> 00:09:19,785
[Groans] Please stop.

241
00:09:19,819 --> 00:09:20,786
What?

242
00:09:20,820 --> 00:09:23,872
Please stop.

243
00:09:23,907 --> 00:09:26,191
Anyways, last night,
he was so tired,

244
00:09:26,209 --> 00:09:27,826
he just wanted
a little Mexican brought in.

245
00:09:27,860 --> 00:09:29,078
[Laughs]

246
00:09:29,129 --> 00:09:31,296
I can't.
It's-- it's too much.

247
00:09:31,331 --> 00:09:34,800
[Laughs]

248
00:09:36,836 --> 00:09:38,704
I'm in big trouble.

249
00:09:38,738 --> 00:09:41,006
Yeah, Oscar's in big trouble.

250
00:09:46,262 --> 00:09:48,046
Okay, how is my voice now?

251
00:09:48,064 --> 00:09:49,565
I'm getting the all clear
from Steve.

252
00:09:49,599 --> 00:09:51,934
So, Mr. Schrute,
what is your response

253
00:09:51,985 --> 00:09:53,936
to the Consumer Product
Safety Commission

254
00:09:53,987 --> 00:09:57,573
that says Dunder Mifflin paper
is toxic?

255
00:09:57,607 --> 00:09:59,158
This is gotcha journalism.

256
00:09:59,192 --> 00:10:00,725
But you know what?
They're not gonna "gotch" me.

257
00:10:00,744 --> 00:10:03,162
It's clearly not
an accounting mistake.

258
00:10:03,196 --> 00:10:06,115
- Oh, Kevin.
- So...

259
00:10:06,166 --> 00:10:08,283
His gambling problem
must have resurfaced.

260
00:10:08,334 --> 00:10:10,402
I'm gonna have to send him home

261
00:10:10,420 --> 00:10:12,621
until I can do
an investigation.

262
00:10:12,672 --> 00:10:16,592
Well, you gotta do
what you gotta do, so...

263
00:10:16,626 --> 00:10:18,260
This is slander, Ms. Black.

264
00:10:18,294 --> 00:10:19,711
Slander, I say.

265
00:10:19,745 --> 00:10:23,298
I dare you to produce
one credible source about this.

266
00:10:23,349 --> 00:10:25,717
Well, as it happens,
we have with us

267
00:10:25,751 --> 00:10:27,919
the foreman of your
upstate New York paper mill,

268
00:10:27,937 --> 00:10:29,021
Sondra Mc--

269
00:10:29,055 --> 00:10:30,806
Sondra Mick.

270
00:10:30,857 --> 00:10:32,274
[New York accent]
Good afternoon, Iris.

271
00:10:32,308 --> 00:10:33,425
It's a pleasure.

272
00:10:33,443 --> 00:10:34,476
I'll get straight to the point.

273
00:10:34,527 --> 00:10:35,778
Is your paper toxic?

274
00:10:35,812 --> 00:10:37,362
No, the paper's not toxic...

275
00:10:37,397 --> 00:10:38,447
Thank you, Sondra!

276
00:10:38,481 --> 00:10:40,783
Unless it's exposed to oxygen.

277
00:10:40,817 --> 00:10:42,284
Then it becomes
extremely toxic.

278
00:10:42,318 --> 00:10:43,435
Do not listen to her!

279
00:10:43,453 --> 00:10:45,103
This employee
is obviously disgruntled.

280
00:10:45,121 --> 00:10:46,572
What the heck is going on?

281
00:10:46,606 --> 00:10:48,240
The stock price is plummeting.

282
00:10:48,274 --> 00:10:49,608
Are you gonna get control
of the message,

283
00:10:49,626 --> 00:10:51,276
or do I have to send in someone
who understands the media?

284
00:10:51,294 --> 00:10:52,828
- Get out of here, moron!
- Okay.

285
00:10:52,879 --> 00:10:55,113
Uh, excuse me, Mr. Dwight,
who are you talking to?

286
00:10:55,131 --> 00:10:56,665
Uh, no one.

287
00:10:56,716 --> 00:10:58,550
Did you just call Ms. Mick
a moron?

288
00:10:58,585 --> 00:10:59,585
No, everything's fine.

289
00:10:59,619 --> 00:11:01,336
Are you insulting my guests?

290
00:11:01,387 --> 00:11:03,806
[Sighs]

291
00:11:03,840 --> 00:11:08,560
Okay.
I will be right there.

292
00:11:08,595 --> 00:11:10,062
Hey, Oscar.

293
00:11:10,096 --> 00:11:11,730
What if I'm getting
a promotion?

294
00:11:11,764 --> 00:11:13,632
I hope that's it, Kevin.

295
00:11:13,650 --> 00:11:14,933
Me too.

296
00:11:14,967 --> 00:11:18,520
'Cause then,
I would get my own office,

297
00:11:18,571 --> 00:11:22,157
and I wouldn't screw up
your secret with Angela.

298
00:11:22,192 --> 00:11:24,443
I've been really
worried about that.

299
00:11:30,450 --> 00:11:33,485
Hi, Kevin.
Look, I need to talk to you--

300
00:11:33,503 --> 00:11:36,321
- Hi.
- Guys, excuse me.

301
00:11:36,339 --> 00:11:38,207
Um, a quick word?
Please, just--

302
00:11:38,258 --> 00:11:40,125
- Oscar, we're in the middle
of talking.

303
00:11:40,159 --> 00:11:41,176
I know.
I'm so sorry.

304
00:11:41,211 --> 00:11:43,095
Snack machine, on me.

305
00:11:43,129 --> 00:11:45,430
Oh, that is nice.

306
00:11:45,465 --> 00:11:48,800
Classy move.

307
00:11:48,834 --> 00:11:50,102
That's what I'm saying!

308
00:11:50,136 --> 00:11:51,770
No, of course not!
[Door opens]

309
00:11:51,804 --> 00:11:54,389
Wha--
What are you doing?

310
00:11:56,175 --> 00:11:58,777
Those figures I gave you,
they're false.

311
00:11:58,811 --> 00:12:00,845
No.

312
00:12:00,864 --> 00:12:02,481
I was mad at Kevin.

313
00:12:02,515 --> 00:12:06,118
We had a fight,
and I acted vindictively.

314
00:12:06,152 --> 00:12:08,570
So you set him up.

315
00:12:08,621 --> 00:12:09,621
Yes, he's innocent.

316
00:12:09,656 --> 00:12:12,708
Oh... I knew it.

317
00:12:12,742 --> 00:12:14,726
I knew it from the beginning,
this was a possibility.

318
00:12:14,761 --> 00:12:16,879
What are you talking about?
I just did this now.

319
00:12:16,913 --> 00:12:19,698
Oh, no, a few years ago,

320
00:12:19,716 --> 00:12:21,199
when I was on the jury,
the Scranton strangler.

321
00:12:21,217 --> 00:12:22,551
Sure.

322
00:12:22,585 --> 00:12:24,253
I always thought
he might have been set up,

323
00:12:24,304 --> 00:12:25,721
but I felt pressured
to convict.

324
00:12:25,755 --> 00:12:27,539
That's gotta be tough.

325
00:12:27,557 --> 00:12:28,590
Tough?

326
00:12:28,641 --> 00:12:30,875
I put an innocent man
on death row.

327
00:12:30,894 --> 00:12:32,895
The fallout from
this morning's revelation

328
00:12:32,929 --> 00:12:33,896
continues to mount.

329
00:12:33,930 --> 00:12:36,031
Since Mr. Dwight Schrute
began speaking,

330
00:12:36,065 --> 00:12:39,651
Dunder Mifflin share prices
fell 73%.

331
00:12:39,686 --> 00:12:42,154
Mr. Schrute, shareholders
demand accountability

332
00:12:42,188 --> 00:12:43,488
from corporate leadership.

333
00:12:43,523 --> 00:12:45,941
Can we announce your resignation
at this time?

334
00:12:45,992 --> 00:12:47,492
My resignation?
What are you talking about?

335
00:12:47,527 --> 00:12:49,077
No, I'm just following orders!

336
00:12:49,112 --> 00:12:51,697
Listen, the person responsible
for this catastrophe

337
00:12:51,731 --> 00:12:56,067
is the ceo and chairman,
David Wallace.

338
00:12:56,085 --> 00:12:57,235
That's yours?

339
00:12:57,253 --> 00:12:58,337
That's the family boat
right there.

340
00:12:58,371 --> 00:13:01,089
Oh, my gosh, Andy.
This is enormous.

341
00:13:01,124 --> 00:13:02,090
Right?

342
00:13:02,125 --> 00:13:03,091
I thought it was gonna be tiny.

343
00:13:03,126 --> 00:13:06,011
Oh, my gosh.
It's beautiful.

344
00:13:06,045 --> 00:13:09,264
So this is how your family
came to America.

345
00:13:09,299 --> 00:13:11,550
- Move.
- Sorry?

346
00:13:11,584 --> 00:13:13,101
I'm trying to rig a boat here.

347
00:13:13,136 --> 00:13:14,386
I don't know how to do that
when you're standing in the way.

348
00:13:14,420 --> 00:13:17,022
Sure, I-I'm not--
I didn't know.

349
00:13:17,056 --> 00:13:20,192
I'm not a ghost, so I can't
walk through people.

350
00:13:20,226 --> 00:13:21,476
- Okay.
- Okay.

351
00:13:21,527 --> 00:13:24,980
- He was salty.
- Yes, a little bit.

352
00:13:25,031 --> 00:13:26,765
How you doing, old buddy?
Missed you.

353
00:13:26,783 --> 00:13:27,983
What does that one do?

354
00:13:28,034 --> 00:13:29,934
This raises the mainsail.

355
00:13:29,953 --> 00:13:31,153
That was my job
when we went sailing.

356
00:13:31,204 --> 00:13:32,437
I wish I had seen you do it.

357
00:13:32,455 --> 00:13:34,539
- Really?
- Yeah.

358
00:13:36,275 --> 00:13:37,876
Up she goes.

359
00:13:37,910 --> 00:13:39,878
Don't do that.

360
00:13:39,912 --> 00:13:41,630
- Don't do that.
- Oh, it's okay.

361
00:13:41,664 --> 00:13:42,781
My girlfriend and I
were actually gonna

362
00:13:42,799 --> 00:13:44,383
take her for a little spin
and a picnic

363
00:13:44,417 --> 00:13:45,550
before you guys
head out tonight.

364
00:13:45,585 --> 00:13:47,469
You know what?
Get some dinner on me.

365
00:13:47,503 --> 00:13:48,670
Nope.
Can't do that.

366
00:13:48,721 --> 00:13:50,455
Got it.

367
00:13:50,473 --> 00:13:51,556
You know what,
then we'll just take it

368
00:13:51,591 --> 00:13:54,977
for a quick little spin
around the harbor.

369
00:13:55,011 --> 00:13:56,511
We've already started boarding.

370
00:13:56,562 --> 00:13:58,897
No one is insured to rig
or operate now, except us.

371
00:13:58,931 --> 00:14:01,066
You know what?
Chill, okay?

372
00:14:01,100 --> 00:14:04,135
I own the boat.
Not gonna sue myself.

373
00:14:04,153 --> 00:14:06,471
All right?
So just--

374
00:14:06,489 --> 00:14:07,689
Wow.

375
00:14:07,740 --> 00:14:08,807
I can smack you all day
if you keep touching

376
00:14:08,825 --> 00:14:11,693
what you're not
supposed to touch.

377
00:14:11,744 --> 00:14:13,245
- Okay, fine, fine.
- Okay?

378
00:14:13,279 --> 00:14:14,529
- Yeah, fine.
- Good stuff.

379
00:14:14,580 --> 00:14:16,581
Good stuff.
Great stuff.

380
00:14:19,869 --> 00:14:20,919
Fuck! Damn it!

381
00:14:20,953 --> 00:14:22,954
Screw you, dad!
Ugh!

382
00:14:25,538 --> 00:14:26,618
Well, we're doing it.

383
00:14:26,653 --> 00:14:29,781
We're finally having a picnic
on the boat.

384
00:14:29,815 --> 00:14:33,235
I've had a thousand picnics
on this boat.

385
00:14:33,269 --> 00:14:34,936
The point was
for me to sail it.

386
00:14:34,954 --> 00:14:40,475
Andy, you never had
to sail the boat to be a man.

387
00:14:40,509 --> 00:14:42,110
Fine, but I could have.

388
00:14:42,128 --> 00:14:45,213
As long as we're on this boat,
as far as I'm concerned,

389
00:14:45,248 --> 00:14:46,214
you're the captain.

390
00:14:46,249 --> 00:14:47,916
I am the captain.

391
00:14:47,950 --> 00:14:49,551
- Yeah.
- Right?

392
00:14:49,585 --> 00:14:52,887
Yeah.

393
00:14:52,922 --> 00:14:55,557
I'm the captain.

394
00:14:58,261 --> 00:15:00,295
Hey, charm school.

395
00:15:00,313 --> 00:15:01,346
What?

396
00:15:01,397 --> 00:15:05,567
- I'm taking over from here.
- Nice.

397
00:15:05,601 --> 00:15:08,153
Okay, I hate to ruin
this, uh, moment,

398
00:15:08,187 --> 00:15:10,471
or breakdown, but you already
signed the papers.

399
00:15:10,489 --> 00:15:11,990
So, if you want your boat back,
you can pick it up

400
00:15:12,024 --> 00:15:13,942
there in the Bahamas
in ten days.

401
00:15:13,976 --> 00:15:15,193
Yeah, I know,
'cause I'm sailing it there.

402
00:15:15,244 --> 00:15:16,611
Okay, no.

403
00:15:16,645 --> 00:15:18,580
I already said you're not
getting back your deposit.

404
00:15:18,614 --> 00:15:21,499
Fine, keep it.
Just leave the supplies.

405
00:15:21,534 --> 00:15:24,786
I already paid for those.

406
00:15:24,820 --> 00:15:28,173
And how much
for that cool fisherman sweater?

407
00:15:28,207 --> 00:15:31,009
For those just joining us,
terror in Greenwich,

408
00:15:31,043 --> 00:15:32,994
where police have
surrounded the house

409
00:15:33,012 --> 00:15:35,213
of Dunder Mifflin CEO
David Wallace.

410
00:15:35,264 --> 00:15:37,599
Wallace is said
to be despondent

411
00:15:37,633 --> 00:15:39,834
over the company's
stock plummet,

412
00:15:39,852 --> 00:15:41,603
and has taken
a mailman hostage.

413
00:15:41,637 --> 00:15:46,191
On the line, we have
Chief of Greenwich Police,

414
00:15:46,225 --> 00:15:48,393
Mr. Bill Jackson.

415
00:15:48,444 --> 00:15:50,562
Good afternoon.

416
00:15:50,613 --> 00:15:52,147
Please, sir, spare him.

417
00:15:52,181 --> 00:15:53,448
Please.

418
00:15:53,482 --> 00:15:56,318
Uh, this Wallace guy's
looking at hard time,

419
00:15:56,352 --> 00:15:58,787
and we only know this because
of what Dwight snoot said

420
00:15:58,821 --> 00:15:59,854
on record.

421
00:15:59,872 --> 00:16:01,790
Okay, everyone.
Everyone, hold on.

422
00:16:01,824 --> 00:16:03,825
I've got a solution.

423
00:16:03,859 --> 00:16:05,043
I know Wallace's phone number.

424
00:16:05,077 --> 00:16:06,411
Everyone hold,
I'll conference him in.

425
00:16:06,462 --> 00:16:08,830
Oh, no, Mr. Schrute,
there's really no need to,

426
00:16:08,864 --> 00:16:10,715
um, involve Mr. Wallace.

427
00:16:10,750 --> 00:16:12,200
Do you even know
what you're doing?

428
00:16:12,218 --> 00:16:13,635
Yeah.

429
00:16:13,669 --> 00:16:15,203
Yeah, I know how to hoist
the mainsail,

430
00:16:15,221 --> 00:16:16,755
I know how to--

431
00:16:16,806 --> 00:16:20,725
These buttons control
bilge pumps and stuff.

432
00:16:20,760 --> 00:16:22,811
I also know
where the booze stash is.

433
00:16:22,845 --> 00:16:25,730
Hello.

434
00:16:25,765 --> 00:16:27,382
Walt?

435
00:16:27,400 --> 00:16:30,018
Oh, God!
Thank goodness you're here.

436
00:16:30,052 --> 00:16:31,736
I was having a little trouble,

437
00:16:31,771 --> 00:16:35,273
uh, with this door,
uh, yesterday.

438
00:16:35,324 --> 00:16:39,444
I, um--
I think it was yesterday.

439
00:16:39,495 --> 00:16:40,779
I thought you were in rehab.

440
00:16:40,830 --> 00:16:42,163
Yeah, I just, uh--

441
00:16:42,198 --> 00:16:43,832
I figured I'd get
that first relapse

442
00:16:43,866 --> 00:16:45,583
out of the way.

443
00:16:45,618 --> 00:16:47,702
God, what's happened
to our family?

444
00:16:47,736 --> 00:16:50,288
Everything is so messed up.

445
00:16:50,339 --> 00:16:51,740
How did you even know
I was in here?

446
00:16:51,774 --> 00:16:52,874
I didn't.

447
00:16:52,908 --> 00:16:54,426
I just came to say
good-bye to the boat,

448
00:16:54,460 --> 00:16:57,429
but I've decided to sail it
to Bermuda.

449
00:16:57,463 --> 00:16:59,964
- Bahamas, Andy.
- Same thing.

450
00:17:00,015 --> 00:17:03,301
I need a crew.
You should be my crew.

451
00:17:03,352 --> 00:17:05,586
Three weeks, open ocean,
no booze.

452
00:17:05,604 --> 00:17:06,587
You need this.

453
00:17:06,605 --> 00:17:08,807
I need it.
We need this.

454
00:17:08,858 --> 00:17:10,308
Serious bro time.
Come on.

455
00:17:10,359 --> 00:17:12,527
- Hello?
- David, is that you?

456
00:17:12,561 --> 00:17:13,528
Dwight?

457
00:17:13,562 --> 00:17:14,979
Oh, thank God.
Oh, thank God.

458
00:17:15,030 --> 00:17:16,815
Are you okay?
Is everyone okay?

459
00:17:16,866 --> 00:17:18,066
Yeah.
Are you okay?

460
00:17:18,100 --> 00:17:19,250
I'm okay.

461
00:17:19,285 --> 00:17:23,204
I just want you to know
that I believe in you.

462
00:17:23,239 --> 00:17:24,739
I really do.

463
00:17:24,773 --> 00:17:28,159
And I believe in your ability
to make the right choices.

464
00:17:28,210 --> 00:17:30,044
I always have, David.

465
00:17:30,079 --> 00:17:31,963
Well, thanks, Dwight.

466
00:17:31,997 --> 00:17:33,665
You're welcome, sir.

467
00:17:33,716 --> 00:17:36,251
But, David,
listen to me carefully.

468
00:17:36,285 --> 00:17:39,637
I'm going to need you
to let the mailman go, okay?

469
00:17:39,672 --> 00:17:40,638
Dwight?

470
00:17:40,673 --> 00:17:41,956
- Walk out of the house...
- What?

471
00:17:41,974 --> 00:17:44,125
With your hands
on top of your head.

472
00:17:44,143 --> 00:17:45,960
Everything is going to be fine.

473
00:17:45,978 --> 00:17:48,313
Dunder Mifflin will be
in good hands

474
00:17:48,347 --> 00:17:50,014
while you're away in prison.

475
00:17:50,065 --> 00:17:51,299
Okay, Dwight?

476
00:17:51,317 --> 00:17:53,268
Gonna ask you to not call me
on my cell anymore.

477
00:17:53,302 --> 00:17:54,269
Gotta go.

478
00:17:54,303 --> 00:17:58,806
[Applause]

479
00:17:58,824 --> 00:18:01,192
Wait a minute.

480
00:18:01,243 --> 00:18:02,277
You guys?

481
00:18:02,311 --> 00:18:03,495
You heard?

482
00:18:03,529 --> 00:18:05,363
All: Schrute! Schrute!
Schrute!

483
00:18:05,414 --> 00:18:08,333
Schrute! Schrute! Schrute!
Schrute! Schrute! Schrute!

484
00:18:08,367 --> 00:18:09,534
Schrute! Schrute!

485
00:18:09,585 --> 00:18:11,486
Overall, I'd say
my first radio interview

486
00:18:11,504 --> 00:18:15,123
went pretty much
the way I expected.

487
00:18:15,157 --> 00:18:18,376
Well, Oscar, I did not
get the promotion.

488
00:18:18,427 --> 00:18:20,795
He just wanted to update
my personal information.

489
00:18:20,829 --> 00:18:23,965
Well, I'm sorry, Kevin.

490
00:18:23,999 --> 00:18:26,667
Why on Earth would you think
you were getting a promotion?

491
00:18:26,685 --> 00:18:28,836
You know what, Angela, I--

492
00:18:28,854 --> 00:18:31,005
Oh, my God.

493
00:18:31,023 --> 00:18:32,840
Honey, what are you doing here?

494
00:18:32,858 --> 00:18:35,343
Oh, I just had an intuition
that someone I love

495
00:18:35,361 --> 00:18:38,363
needed a little
of my attention today.

496
00:18:38,397 --> 00:18:41,282
Oscar, looking very healthy.

497
00:18:41,317 --> 00:18:42,984
Getting lots
of vigorous exercise?

498
00:18:43,018 --> 00:18:46,187
No.
No.

499
00:18:46,205 --> 00:18:49,240
Oscar, what is going on?
What was that?

500
00:18:49,291 --> 00:18:50,542
- Wha--
- What was that?

501
00:18:50,576 --> 00:18:52,327
I-I'm sorry.
I didn't mean any offense.

502
00:18:52,361 --> 00:18:53,344
I was just trying
to be friendly.

503
00:18:53,379 --> 00:18:54,996
You know what?
I'm sorry.

504
00:18:55,030 --> 00:18:58,049
I overreacted,
because I'm stressed out.

505
00:18:58,083 --> 00:18:59,534
Why am I stressed out?

506
00:18:59,552 --> 00:19:01,369
Who's not stressed out?
Who's not stressed out?

507
00:19:01,387 --> 00:19:03,371
Come on, Oscar.

508
00:19:03,389 --> 00:19:07,041
We're not just gonna sit here
and ignore the obvious.

509
00:19:07,059 --> 00:19:10,478
Senator Lipton
has a big election next week.

510
00:19:10,513 --> 00:19:12,230
We all need
to give him our support.

511
00:19:12,264 --> 00:19:13,231
[Scattered applause]

512
00:19:13,265 --> 00:19:14,599
Oh, thank you.

513
00:19:14,650 --> 00:19:17,652
Thank you very much.
Oh, thanks, everybody.

514
00:19:17,686 --> 00:19:20,989
'Cause it's really cool.

515
00:19:21,023 --> 00:19:25,560
- USA! USA!
- USA. U--

516
00:19:25,578 --> 00:19:27,946
I have to say,
I'm impressed with Kevin.

517
00:19:27,997 --> 00:19:33,234
Uh, he showed a lot
of self-control.

518
00:19:33,252 --> 00:19:36,838
I totally forgot
about the affair for a minute.

519
00:19:36,872 --> 00:19:39,624
[Laughs]

520
00:19:39,675 --> 00:19:43,127
Oscar is having sex
with the Senator,

521
00:19:43,178 --> 00:19:46,130
and Angela doesn't even know.

522
00:19:46,181 --> 00:19:48,383
[Laughs]

523
00:19:48,417 --> 00:19:51,519
Her life is a complete sham.

524
00:19:51,554 --> 00:19:53,438
[Laughs]

525
00:19:53,472 --> 00:19:55,523
All right, guys.
Cast us off.

526
00:19:55,558 --> 00:19:56,941
Walt, all aboard.

527
00:19:56,976 --> 00:19:59,394
Erin, this is because of you.

528
00:19:59,428 --> 00:20:01,996
Do you realize that?
You're the best ever.

529
00:20:02,031 --> 00:20:04,482
Oh, you know,
just being a good girlfriend.

530
00:20:04,533 --> 00:20:06,234
"Good"?
Come on.

531
00:20:06,268 --> 00:20:09,070
Above and beyond.
World's greatest.

532
00:20:09,104 --> 00:20:11,539
You did this.

533
00:20:11,574 --> 00:20:13,107
Damn it, I'm happy!

534
00:20:13,125 --> 00:20:15,827
Yes, I am very pleased
I could help Andy.

535
00:20:15,878 --> 00:20:18,580
Would I have gone with him
if he'd asked me?

536
00:20:18,614 --> 00:20:20,781
On his sailboat cruise
to the Caribbean?

537
00:20:20,799 --> 00:20:24,385
Yes, I think that would have
been really fun and romantic.

538
00:20:24,420 --> 00:20:26,504
- I'll see you in three weeks!
- Okay!

539
00:20:26,555 --> 00:20:28,723
Hey, bro,
it was here all along.

540
00:20:28,757 --> 00:20:31,342
- No way!
- Way!

541
00:20:31,393 --> 00:20:33,311
Erin, I gotta go!

542
00:20:33,345 --> 00:20:34,596
Them's my chords!

543
00:20:34,630 --> 00:20:37,632
[Playing <i>More Than Words</i>
<i>by Extreme]</i>

544
00:20:47,860 --> 00:20:51,029
Hey.
She's back.

545
00:20:51,031 --> 00:20:52,164
Thanks for covering the phones.

546
00:20:52,166 --> 00:20:54,199
Yeah, no problem.
How was it?

547
00:20:54,201 --> 00:20:57,286
Fine.

548
00:21:01,257 --> 00:21:02,924
Hey, some buddies and I
are going to poor Richard's

549
00:21:02,926 --> 00:21:03,925
for beers and pool.

550
00:21:03,927 --> 00:21:05,076
You want to come?

551
00:21:05,078 --> 00:21:06,261
I can't promise you too much,

552
00:21:06,263 --> 00:21:08,930
but you might get
to meet my friend Flipper.

553
00:21:08,932 --> 00:21:10,799
Does he have a flipper?

554
00:21:10,801 --> 00:21:13,185
Oh, nope.
It's not that.

555
00:21:13,187 --> 00:21:17,756
He, uh, he flipped a table
one time when he was drunk.

556
00:21:17,758 --> 00:21:19,858
He sounds like an idiot.

557
00:21:19,860 --> 00:21:23,111
Yeah, he is.

558
00:21:23,113 --> 00:21:26,064
- Okay.
- Okay.

559
00:21:26,066 --> 00:21:27,065
Thanks.

560
00:21:27,067 --> 00:21:29,100
Yeah.

561
00:21:30,634 --> 00:21:32,200
Sync and corrections by n17t01
www.addic7ed.com