1 00:00:04,170 --> 00:00:05,671 Good morning, Pam. 2 00:00:05,755 --> 00:00:07,548 Oh, welcome back, Andy. 3 00:00:07,632 --> 00:00:09,884 Drew. I'm Drew now. 4 00:00:09,967 --> 00:00:12,636 Oh, Drew. Sorry. 5 00:00:13,137 --> 00:00:15,139 Apology not accepted. 6 00:00:16,307 --> 00:00:19,768 Because it wasn't even necessary in the first place. 7 00:00:20,436 --> 00:00:23,939 Several weeks ago, Andy Bernard had an incident. 8 00:00:27,568 --> 00:00:29,653 But after five weeks in anger management, 9 00:00:29,820 --> 00:00:33,865 I'm back, and I've got a new attitude and a new name 10 00:00:34,867 --> 00:00:37,286 and a bunch of new techniques 11 00:00:37,370 --> 00:00:38,913 for dealing with the grumpies. 12 00:00:38,996 --> 00:00:40,622 Morning, Jim, 13 00:00:40,915 --> 00:00:42,917 Hey, Andy. How are you, man? 14 00:00:43,000 --> 00:00:44,418 Good. Drew. 15 00:00:44,502 --> 00:00:45,544 What's that? 16 00:00:45,628 --> 00:00:47,212 You can call me Drew. 17 00:00:47,296 --> 00:00:49,131 No, I'm not gonna call you that. 18 00:00:49,674 --> 00:00:50,966 Cool. 19 00:00:51,217 --> 00:00:54,845 I can't control what you do. I can only control what I do. 20 00:00:54,929 --> 00:00:55,930 Andy. 21 00:00:56,013 --> 00:00:57,097 Drew. 22 00:00:59,267 --> 00:01:00,601 Dwight. 23 00:01:02,270 --> 00:01:03,771 How's it going, man? 24 00:01:05,064 --> 00:01:08,901 Yes. I have decided to shun Andy Bernard for the next three years. 25 00:01:08,985 --> 00:01:10,820 Which I'm looking forward to. 26 00:01:10,903 --> 00:01:12,779 It's an Amish technique. 27 00:01:12,863 --> 00:01:15,073 It's like slapping someone with silence. 28 00:01:15,157 --> 00:01:17,951 I was shunned from the age of four until my sixth birthday 29 00:01:18,035 --> 00:01:20,662 for not saving the excess oil from a can of tuna. 30 00:01:20,830 --> 00:01:23,791 Jim, could you please inform Andy Bernard 31 00:01:23,874 --> 00:01:25,667 that he is being shunned? 32 00:01:26,377 --> 00:01:29,671 Andy, Dwight says welcome back and that he could use a hug. 33 00:01:30,172 --> 00:01:32,048 Okay. Tell him that that's not true. 34 00:01:32,133 --> 00:01:33,717 Dwight says that he actually doesn't know 35 00:01:33,801 --> 00:01:35,302 one single fact about bear attacks. 36 00:01:35,386 --> 00:01:36,387 Okay. No, Jim. You guys. 37 00:01:36,470 --> 00:01:40,056 Tell him that bears can climb faster than they can run. 38 00:01:40,141 --> 00:01:42,101 Jim, tell him! 39 00:01:42,685 --> 00:01:44,812 Andy... No, it's too far. 40 00:01:45,313 --> 00:01:46,480 Damn you. 41 00:02:08,169 --> 00:02:10,796 Today is safety training day. 42 00:02:11,130 --> 00:02:13,507 Toby is leading ours upstairs. 43 00:02:14,467 --> 00:02:18,053 But I am giving everyone a little bit of a treat. 44 00:02:18,137 --> 00:02:21,348 We are going to listen in on Darryl's presentation at the warehouse. 45 00:02:21,432 --> 00:02:24,476 And if I know Darryl, it gonna to be zoppity. 46 00:02:25,102 --> 00:02:26,269 Now, 47 00:02:27,229 --> 00:02:29,231 this is the forklift. 48 00:02:30,066 --> 00:02:33,194 You need a license to operate this machine. 49 00:02:33,277 --> 00:02:36,530 That means the upstairs office workers can't drive it. 50 00:02:36,614 --> 00:02:38,407 Quiz. Mike. 51 00:02:38,491 --> 00:02:39,950 Should you drive the forklift? 52 00:02:40,034 --> 00:02:41,076 I can and I have. 53 00:02:41,160 --> 00:02:42,870 No, no, no! I said, "Should you?" 54 00:02:42,953 --> 00:02:44,496 You should not drive it. 55 00:02:44,664 --> 00:02:46,207 You should not drive the forklift. 56 00:02:46,290 --> 00:02:47,958 You understand? You're not allowed to drive the forklift. 57 00:02:48,042 --> 00:02:49,626 It's not safe. You don't have a license. 58 00:02:49,710 --> 00:02:52,337 Guys, I'm not the only one who's driven the forklift. 59 00:02:52,421 --> 00:02:53,630 Pudge has driven the forklift. 60 00:02:53,714 --> 00:02:55,048 Madge. 61 00:02:55,132 --> 00:02:56,424 I thought your name was Pudge. 62 00:02:56,509 --> 00:02:58,385 No. It's always been Madge. 63 00:02:58,469 --> 00:02:59,720 Okay. 64 00:03:00,012 --> 00:03:01,054 Her. 65 00:03:01,138 --> 00:03:05,638 Her? Yes, "Her" is qualified to work a dangerous machine. You are not. 66 00:03:07,019 --> 00:03:08,645 Okay? Fine. 67 00:03:08,729 --> 00:03:10,731 Do you understand that? Yes. 68 00:03:10,815 --> 00:03:14,902 We do safety training every year or after an accident. 69 00:03:15,069 --> 00:03:17,529 We've never made it a full year. 70 00:03:17,863 --> 00:03:19,614 This particular time, I was reaching 71 00:03:19,699 --> 00:03:21,867 for a supply box on the top shelf 72 00:03:22,326 --> 00:03:26,163 when one office worker, who shall remain nameless, 73 00:03:26,622 --> 00:03:29,249 kicked the ladder out from under me and yelled... 74 00:03:29,333 --> 00:03:31,168 Hey, Darryl, how's it hanging? 75 00:03:33,087 --> 00:03:35,714 And I fell and busted my ankle and... 76 00:03:35,798 --> 00:03:38,300 I'm legitimately scared for my workers. 77 00:03:38,384 --> 00:03:41,762 The baler can flatten a car engine. 78 00:03:42,596 --> 00:03:44,180 It can cut off your arm and crush 79 00:03:44,265 --> 00:03:46,934 your entire body without skipping a beat. 80 00:03:47,017 --> 00:03:48,101 Yeah! 81 00:03:49,186 --> 00:03:51,771 How many people a year do you think get their arms 82 00:03:51,856 --> 00:03:53,399 cut off in a baler? 83 00:03:53,482 --> 00:03:54,858 Bale 'er? I hardly know her. 84 00:03:54,942 --> 00:03:56,485 Damn it, Michael, pay attention, man. 85 00:03:56,569 --> 00:03:58,320 Anybody want to take a guess? 86 00:03:58,404 --> 00:04:00,030 Five bucks says it's over fifty. 87 00:04:00,114 --> 00:04:01,615 You really want to bet? Anybody? 88 00:04:01,699 --> 00:04:04,368 Ever since March Madness ended, I am so bored. 89 00:04:04,452 --> 00:04:05,995 How many? Okay. You're on. 90 00:04:06,078 --> 00:04:07,913 Ten people. Michael. 91 00:04:07,997 --> 00:04:09,206 Ten people. 92 00:04:09,290 --> 00:04:10,916 Would you like to be one of them? 93 00:04:11,000 --> 00:04:12,751 No, don't worry about it. We'll just go double or nothing. 94 00:04:12,835 --> 00:04:13,961 On what? 95 00:04:14,044 --> 00:04:15,128 I don't know. I'll figure something out. 96 00:04:15,212 --> 00:04:16,504 Nice. What are you guys talking about? 97 00:04:16,589 --> 00:04:18,674 These are very dangerous machines 98 00:04:18,758 --> 00:04:21,177 down here and the upstairs workers... 99 00:04:21,260 --> 00:04:22,636 Michael? 100 00:04:23,179 --> 00:04:24,638 ...should not go anywhere near them. 101 00:04:24,722 --> 00:04:25,931 Yes. Yes. 102 00:04:26,015 --> 00:04:27,683 But it wouldn't be the worst thing in the world... 103 00:04:27,767 --> 00:04:29,685 It would be the worst thing in the world. It would. 104 00:04:29,769 --> 00:04:31,103 What the hell is wrong with this man? Very much so. 105 00:04:31,187 --> 00:04:32,521 It's a big red trash compactor. 106 00:04:32,605 --> 00:04:33,897 It's not a trash compactor! 107 00:04:33,981 --> 00:04:34,982 It's very dangerous, okay. 108 00:04:35,065 --> 00:04:36,232 Don't disrespect a baler, Mike. 109 00:04:36,317 --> 00:04:38,319 All right, all right, I got it! I got it! 110 00:04:38,402 --> 00:04:39,945 Only on the rarest of occasions would I go near... 111 00:04:40,029 --> 00:04:42,114 No, you don't touch it! There is no occasion 112 00:04:42,198 --> 00:04:44,283 for you to go near this stuff, okay? 113 00:04:44,366 --> 00:04:46,743 Toby now has the floor 114 00:04:47,244 --> 00:04:49,537 and he is going to try not to screw this up 115 00:04:49,622 --> 00:04:51,707 like everything else in his life. 116 00:04:52,708 --> 00:04:53,792 Let me rephrase that. 117 00:04:53,876 --> 00:04:56,295 I believe that you can do safety training 118 00:04:56,378 --> 00:04:58,880 and make it sound just as good as Darryl. 119 00:04:59,507 --> 00:05:01,008 Here we go! 120 00:05:01,967 --> 00:05:04,260 Okay, one thing you're going to want to 121 00:05:04,345 --> 00:05:06,138 look out for is carpal tunnel syndrome. 122 00:05:06,222 --> 00:05:08,307 It's recommended that you take a 10-minute break 123 00:05:08,390 --> 00:05:10,058 from typing every hour. 124 00:05:10,142 --> 00:05:12,352 For your circulation, you're going to 125 00:05:12,436 --> 00:05:14,020 want to get up out of your chairs 126 00:05:14,104 --> 00:05:16,314 and move around for about 10 minutes every hour. 127 00:05:16,398 --> 00:05:20,276 Yes. Good. Fine. Like stretching and... 128 00:05:20,361 --> 00:05:24,239 Yeah, your computer screen can be a big strain on your eyes, 129 00:05:24,323 --> 00:05:28,823 so it's also recommended that you step away for about 10 minutes every hour. 130 00:05:29,119 --> 00:05:31,496 Wow? That is... That time really adds up. 131 00:05:31,580 --> 00:05:33,748 That's like a half an hour, every hour? 132 00:05:33,833 --> 00:05:36,001 Take them at the same time. 133 00:05:36,085 --> 00:05:38,545 Okay. You know what? You're making it sound kind of lame. 134 00:05:38,629 --> 00:05:41,632 So skip ahead to the really dangerous stuff. 135 00:05:42,466 --> 00:05:45,927 Like sometimes computers can explode, can they not? 136 00:05:46,262 --> 00:05:47,596 No. No. 137 00:05:48,389 --> 00:05:51,517 You always want to keep a sweater or cardigan 138 00:05:51,600 --> 00:05:53,476 of some sort in case it gets drafty. 139 00:05:53,561 --> 00:05:54,562 What about a long-sleeved tee? 140 00:05:54,645 --> 00:05:55,646 That will work. 141 00:05:55,729 --> 00:05:57,605 - Long johns? - A shawl? 142 00:05:57,857 --> 00:05:59,191 You know, anything that warms you. 143 00:05:59,275 --> 00:06:01,151 Okay, you know what, I think that everybody 144 00:06:01,235 --> 00:06:03,028 is going to vomit due to boredom. 145 00:06:03,112 --> 00:06:05,280 Sorry. He is very lame. 146 00:06:06,866 --> 00:06:08,534 Let's see. 147 00:06:09,201 --> 00:06:11,203 Seasonal affective disorder. 148 00:06:11,287 --> 00:06:13,163 A depression that includes weight gain, 149 00:06:13,247 --> 00:06:16,792 fatigue, irritability, brought on by the low light of winter. 150 00:06:16,876 --> 00:06:19,044 Thank God we only had a baler to deal with. 151 00:06:19,128 --> 00:06:20,712 Yeah, that dim light is a bitch, ain't it? 152 00:06:20,796 --> 00:06:21,963 Okay. Guys, you know what? 153 00:06:22,047 --> 00:06:24,924 I didn't interrupt when you were having your presentation. 154 00:06:25,009 --> 00:06:26,719 Actually, you did. 155 00:06:26,802 --> 00:06:28,053 Yes. 156 00:06:28,637 --> 00:06:30,513 Okay. Let's do another one. 157 00:06:30,598 --> 00:06:31,765 This is a good one. 158 00:06:31,849 --> 00:06:34,685 A particular concern for office workers 159 00:06:34,768 --> 00:06:37,979 is a sedimentary lifestyle which can contribute... 160 00:06:38,063 --> 00:06:39,564 Sedentary. 161 00:06:39,899 --> 00:06:43,569 Yes. Which can contribute to heart disease. 162 00:06:43,819 --> 00:06:46,905 Heart disease Kills more people than balers. 163 00:06:47,197 --> 00:06:49,449 That's called having a fat butt, Michael. 164 00:06:49,533 --> 00:06:51,284 No. No, it's sedentary. 165 00:06:51,368 --> 00:06:53,036 Yeah, that's fat butt disease. 166 00:06:53,120 --> 00:06:54,246 That's what you suffer from? 167 00:06:54,330 --> 00:06:55,873 You have fat butt disease, Michael? 168 00:06:55,956 --> 00:06:57,958 Excuse me, sea monster, you weigh like a thousand pounds. 169 00:06:58,042 --> 00:06:59,084 Yeah? Yeah. 170 00:06:59,168 --> 00:07:01,086 I bet you'd like to swim with this sea monster, wouldn't you? 171 00:07:01,170 --> 00:07:02,254 Ryan! 172 00:07:02,338 --> 00:07:03,505 Dude, please tell your girl to shut up. 173 00:07:03,589 --> 00:07:04,590 What? 174 00:07:04,673 --> 00:07:06,049 Kelly, you've insulted the gentleman. 175 00:07:06,133 --> 00:07:07,134 Please apologize. 176 00:07:07,217 --> 00:07:08,218 Are you kidding me? 177 00:07:08,302 --> 00:07:09,344 All right, we out of here. 178 00:07:09,428 --> 00:07:11,513 Darryl, I did not walk out in the middle of yours, so... 179 00:07:11,597 --> 00:07:13,390 Yeah, but ours was real, Michael. 180 00:07:13,474 --> 00:07:14,475 Yes. 181 00:07:14,558 --> 00:07:16,017 That's what we've been trying to tell you, Mike. 182 00:07:16,101 --> 00:07:17,685 It's serious down there. 183 00:07:17,770 --> 00:07:21,690 We do dangerous stuff, man. This is shenanigans, foolishness. 184 00:07:21,857 --> 00:07:23,316 Nerf ball. 185 00:07:23,567 --> 00:07:26,236 You live a sweet little nerfy life 186 00:07:26,820 --> 00:07:28,363 sitting on your biscuit 187 00:07:28,447 --> 00:07:30,157 never having to risk it. 188 00:07:32,534 --> 00:07:33,535 Okay. 189 00:07:37,873 --> 00:07:40,333 What? So, Nerf isn't cool anymore? 190 00:07:40,417 --> 00:07:43,753 Darryl thinks he's such a man because he works in a warehouse. 191 00:07:43,837 --> 00:07:45,004 Well, big deal! 192 00:07:45,089 --> 00:07:48,133 I worked in a warehouse. Men's Wearhouse. 193 00:07:48,550 --> 00:07:50,134 I was a greeter. 194 00:07:50,552 --> 00:07:52,428 I'd like to see Darryl greet people. 195 00:07:52,513 --> 00:07:54,014 He'd probably make them feel like wimps. 196 00:07:54,098 --> 00:07:55,516 Not me, I... 197 00:07:58,310 --> 00:08:01,396 Hello, I'm Michael. Welcome to Men's Wearhouse. 198 00:08:01,480 --> 00:08:03,899 We have a special on khaki pants today. 199 00:08:06,235 --> 00:08:07,736 This is one example. 200 00:08:10,906 --> 00:08:11,948 Ten. 201 00:08:12,032 --> 00:08:14,451 Really? Ten? That's your guess? 202 00:08:14,535 --> 00:08:15,827 You're a professional accountant. 203 00:08:15,911 --> 00:08:17,537 There's, like, 10 green ones. 204 00:08:17,621 --> 00:08:18,622 Forty-two. 205 00:08:18,706 --> 00:08:19,748 I'm going to say 50. 206 00:08:19,832 --> 00:08:21,458 Don't be that person. 51. 207 00:08:21,542 --> 00:08:23,210 Oh, come on. That is lame. It's a strategy. 208 00:08:23,293 --> 00:08:25,253 It's called being smart. Thank you. 209 00:08:25,337 --> 00:08:26,338 Oh, jeez. 210 00:08:27,506 --> 00:08:29,591 I don't know how the whole betting thing started, 211 00:08:29,675 --> 00:08:31,009 but it's fun. 212 00:08:31,093 --> 00:08:32,177 Ten. Ten's out. 213 00:08:32,261 --> 00:08:34,388 Damn it! Forty-seven, 48, 214 00:08:34,471 --> 00:08:36,389 forty-nine. Jim wins. 215 00:08:36,473 --> 00:08:37,515 That is not fair. 216 00:08:37,599 --> 00:08:40,685 He has spent hours up here at reception with you. 217 00:08:40,769 --> 00:08:43,021 Hours and hours. 218 00:08:43,105 --> 00:08:44,439 Okay. Okay. 219 00:08:44,523 --> 00:08:45,774 No, constantly. Like for years. 220 00:08:45,858 --> 00:08:46,859 Okay. 221 00:08:46,942 --> 00:08:50,111 Pam, depression is as scary as a baler, right? 222 00:08:50,446 --> 00:08:51,947 I don't understand the question. 223 00:08:52,031 --> 00:08:56,531 Working in an office can lead to depression, which can lead to suicide. 224 00:08:57,578 --> 00:09:00,205 I mean this is really serious stuff. 225 00:09:00,456 --> 00:09:01,623 Yeah. 226 00:09:02,291 --> 00:09:04,960 Nobody commits suicide because they work with a baler. 227 00:09:05,044 --> 00:09:07,296 And yet those guys are making fun of me, 228 00:09:07,379 --> 00:09:08,546 calling me a Nerf. 229 00:09:08,630 --> 00:09:09,631 That... 230 00:09:09,715 --> 00:09:12,008 It's really hard to demonstrate depression. 231 00:09:12,509 --> 00:09:14,928 Their safety training had visuals. 232 00:09:15,262 --> 00:09:16,263 Yeah. 233 00:09:16,638 --> 00:09:19,682 You are so right. 234 00:09:20,142 --> 00:09:23,520 They have visual aids and all we had were the facts. 235 00:09:23,604 --> 00:09:25,606 You don't go to the science museum 236 00:09:25,689 --> 00:09:27,774 and get handed a pamphlet on electricity. 237 00:09:29,526 --> 00:09:33,196 You go the science museum and you put your hand on a metal ball 238 00:09:33,739 --> 00:09:35,282 and your hair sticks up straight. 239 00:09:35,365 --> 00:09:36,908 And you know science. 240 00:09:37,576 --> 00:09:39,160 So, you're okay? 241 00:09:39,244 --> 00:09:40,662 Indubitably. 242 00:09:42,164 --> 00:09:44,833 They used props, they used visual aids 243 00:09:44,917 --> 00:09:48,211 and they just made us look like dopes. 244 00:09:48,295 --> 00:09:51,006 Idiots! God, what are we going to do? 245 00:09:51,090 --> 00:09:52,466 I don't know. I don't know. 246 00:09:52,549 --> 00:09:54,759 Because you know what our killer is? 247 00:09:55,010 --> 00:09:57,095 Depression. Wolves. 248 00:09:57,346 --> 00:09:58,513 Depression. 249 00:09:58,597 --> 00:10:00,557 Visual aids. Yes. 250 00:10:00,641 --> 00:10:02,809 A quilt. A depression quilt. 251 00:10:04,478 --> 00:10:06,688 No time to sew a quilt. 252 00:10:07,856 --> 00:10:08,940 I got it. 253 00:10:09,691 --> 00:10:12,902 Get me the number for the Giant Big Box Toy Store. 254 00:10:16,406 --> 00:10:18,366 You may be asking yourself 255 00:10:18,450 --> 00:10:20,493 what am I doing on a trampoline? 256 00:10:20,577 --> 00:10:23,288 Well, I thought I'd bounce here for a while, 257 00:10:23,372 --> 00:10:26,166 relieve some stress and then move on with my day. 258 00:10:26,375 --> 00:10:28,418 Not. Here's a plan. 259 00:10:28,877 --> 00:10:30,044 Dwight is going to gather 260 00:10:30,129 --> 00:10:33,674 all of the officer workers and all of the warehouse guys 261 00:10:33,757 --> 00:10:36,050 and we're going to have another safety seminar. 262 00:10:36,135 --> 00:10:37,886 Only this time, where's Michael? 263 00:10:37,970 --> 00:10:40,389 Oh, my God, he is on the roof. 264 00:10:40,472 --> 00:10:42,265 And now I have got their attention. 265 00:10:42,349 --> 00:10:46,394 I tell them about the cold hard facts of depression. 266 00:10:46,895 --> 00:10:50,607 And then I say, "Hey, you ever seen a suicide?" 267 00:10:51,316 --> 00:10:52,817 And I jump. 268 00:10:52,901 --> 00:10:55,278 And they freak out. And they get to see 269 00:10:55,821 --> 00:10:58,448 the dangers of depression with their own eyes. 270 00:10:58,907 --> 00:11:00,825 Nice side note, they might think, 271 00:11:00,909 --> 00:11:02,744 "Hey, I should have been nicer to Michael." 272 00:11:02,828 --> 00:11:05,038 But that's not why I'm doing this. 273 00:11:05,122 --> 00:11:06,623 Then I land on the trampoline, 274 00:11:06,707 --> 00:11:08,208 take a couple extra bounces for fun. 275 00:11:08,292 --> 00:11:10,377 I climb off, walk around the corner, 276 00:11:10,460 --> 00:11:12,170 ta-freaking-da. 277 00:11:12,504 --> 00:11:14,547 So then the next movie moves to the top of the queue. 278 00:11:14,631 --> 00:11:15,923 So number five becomes number four, 279 00:11:16,008 --> 00:11:17,342 number six becomes number five, 280 00:11:17,426 --> 00:11:19,886 number three becomes number two, etcetera, etcetera. 281 00:11:19,970 --> 00:11:21,388 And let's just say that I just sent back 282 00:11:21,471 --> 00:11:23,222 Love Actually, which was awesome. 283 00:11:23,307 --> 00:11:26,018 And they sent me Uptown Girls, which is also awesome. 284 00:11:26,101 --> 00:11:28,561 But guess what, now I want to see Love Actually again, 285 00:11:28,645 --> 00:11:29,896 but it's at the bottom of the queue. 286 00:11:29,980 --> 00:11:31,564 Oh, no, what do I do? 287 00:11:31,648 --> 00:11:32,940 What I do is this. 288 00:11:33,025 --> 00:11:34,735 I go online, I go click, click, click 289 00:11:34,818 --> 00:11:36,319 and I change the order of the queue, 290 00:11:36,403 --> 00:11:38,738 so that I can see Love Actually as soon as I want to. 291 00:11:38,822 --> 00:11:40,740 It's so easy, Ryan. 292 00:11:40,824 --> 00:11:43,785 Do you really not know how Netflix works? 293 00:11:44,161 --> 00:11:45,912 I guess I forgot. 294 00:11:46,663 --> 00:11:48,623 You're such a ditz. 295 00:11:49,374 --> 00:11:52,293 Ryan, well done. Two minutes, 42 seconds. 296 00:11:52,377 --> 00:11:54,295 Additionally, Pam, you win $10 297 00:11:54,379 --> 00:11:56,381 because she said "awesome" 12 times. 298 00:11:56,590 --> 00:12:00,343 And Jim, you win $5 because she mentioned six romantic comedies. 299 00:12:00,594 --> 00:12:03,638 Okay, let's do this thing! I'll go summon the troops! 300 00:12:03,722 --> 00:12:05,974 Maybe we should test this first. 301 00:12:06,058 --> 00:12:08,852 Letterman style. Throw a TV over or... 302 00:12:09,436 --> 00:12:11,312 We measured it once. 303 00:12:12,522 --> 00:12:14,106 Go buy some watermelons. 304 00:12:14,191 --> 00:12:15,901 Seedless? 305 00:12:16,193 --> 00:12:17,569 Just... 306 00:12:23,533 --> 00:12:25,660 Creed is eating an apple. 307 00:12:25,827 --> 00:12:27,537 I found a potato. 308 00:12:29,122 --> 00:12:30,164 Hey, Creed. 309 00:12:30,249 --> 00:12:31,458 Hey. 310 00:12:39,925 --> 00:12:41,051 Yes! 311 00:12:41,134 --> 00:12:42,176 Here you go. 312 00:12:42,427 --> 00:12:43,428 What? 313 00:12:43,512 --> 00:12:44,554 Nice! 314 00:12:45,639 --> 00:12:48,558 I don't know this place as well as I thought I did. 315 00:12:48,642 --> 00:12:50,477 I'm getting cleaned out. 316 00:12:50,644 --> 00:12:51,645 Ready? 317 00:12:51,728 --> 00:12:53,312 Let's do it. Drop that sucker. 318 00:12:53,897 --> 00:12:55,857 Yeah! Bingo! 319 00:13:00,779 --> 00:13:02,405 Deactivate the car alarm, clean up the mess. 320 00:13:02,489 --> 00:13:03,490 Okay. 321 00:13:03,573 --> 00:13:05,408 Find out whose car that is. 322 00:13:05,492 --> 00:13:07,994 If it's Stanley's, call the offices of James P. Albini, 323 00:13:08,078 --> 00:13:09,079 see If he handles hate crimes. 324 00:13:09,162 --> 00:13:10,163 Got it. 325 00:13:10,247 --> 00:13:11,957 Also, take apart the trampoline. Stick it in the baler. 326 00:13:12,040 --> 00:13:13,332 We're not allowed to use the baler. 327 00:13:13,417 --> 00:13:16,002 Have Padge do it or the sea monster. 328 00:13:16,086 --> 00:13:17,170 I'm on it. 329 00:13:21,341 --> 00:13:23,176 I'm temporarily lifting the shun. 330 00:13:23,260 --> 00:13:24,302 Thank you. 331 00:13:24,386 --> 00:13:26,554 It means nothing. I need you to do something for me. 332 00:13:26,638 --> 00:13:27,764 Anything. 333 00:13:27,848 --> 00:13:28,932 Okay, calm down. 334 00:13:29,016 --> 00:13:33,145 I need you to acquire an inflatable house and/or castle. 335 00:13:33,395 --> 00:13:34,646 You mean a Moonbounce. 336 00:13:34,730 --> 00:13:36,606 What do you think? You've got an hour. 337 00:13:36,690 --> 00:13:38,066 I'm going to need petty cash. 338 00:13:38,150 --> 00:13:39,484 Shunning resumed. 339 00:13:40,694 --> 00:13:42,529 Do you want a drawbridge? 340 00:13:42,612 --> 00:13:43,904 Un-shun. 341 00:13:44,865 --> 00:13:46,908 Yeah, that sounds good. Re-shun. 342 00:13:49,244 --> 00:13:52,288 Oh, yeah, this is much better. It's safer. 343 00:13:52,372 --> 00:13:53,790 Excellent decision. 344 00:13:53,874 --> 00:13:55,959 Yes. Thank you for seeing that. 345 00:13:56,043 --> 00:13:58,628 When you land, try and land like an eight-year-old. 346 00:13:58,712 --> 00:14:00,880 These bouncy castles are not designed for adults. 347 00:14:00,964 --> 00:14:02,090 I don't know if I want to do this. 348 00:14:02,174 --> 00:14:03,175 Want to do another test? 349 00:14:03,258 --> 00:14:04,425 I got plenty of watermelons in my trunk. 350 00:14:04,509 --> 00:14:05,760 No. 351 00:14:06,261 --> 00:14:07,470 No more. The tests are going terrible. 352 00:14:07,554 --> 00:14:10,515 If we keep doing them, I'm not going to want to jump. 353 00:14:11,224 --> 00:14:12,475 This is about doing, not thinking. 354 00:14:12,559 --> 00:14:13,560 Right! 355 00:14:13,643 --> 00:14:15,394 Doing! Totally doing! 356 00:14:15,479 --> 00:14:17,147 Let's rock and roll! Rock and roll! 357 00:14:17,230 --> 00:14:19,106 Yeah! That's right, I'm not thinking! 358 00:14:20,901 --> 00:14:22,152 Yes! Yeah! 359 00:14:22,235 --> 00:14:23,903 Michael is awesome 360 00:14:23,987 --> 00:14:25,655 Jumping off the roof 361 00:14:25,739 --> 00:14:27,532 Bouncing on a bouncy thing 362 00:14:27,616 --> 00:14:29,159 Show them who is boss 363 00:14:29,242 --> 00:14:31,202 Rip a hole in the sun! 364 00:14:31,286 --> 00:14:33,246 I am ready to do this! 365 00:14:33,330 --> 00:14:35,081 I'm ready to make a point! 366 00:14:36,666 --> 00:14:38,668 Hey! Guys, listen up, 367 00:14:38,752 --> 00:14:42,380 Michael is up on the roof and acting strange. 368 00:14:43,340 --> 00:14:45,425 What's the situation? 369 00:14:45,509 --> 00:14:50,009 Un-shun. I think he's suffering from depression. Re-shun. 370 00:14:50,138 --> 00:14:51,639 Okay, when is the shunning thing going to end? 371 00:14:51,723 --> 00:14:53,975 Un-shun. Never. Re-shun. 372 00:14:54,059 --> 00:14:55,393 I think he wants you all to come out 373 00:14:55,477 --> 00:14:57,520 to the parking lot and watch him die. 374 00:14:58,313 --> 00:14:59,355 Is it nice outside? 375 00:14:59,439 --> 00:15:00,815 It's gorgeous. Let's go! 376 00:15:00,899 --> 00:15:02,025 Do I need my jacket? 377 00:15:02,109 --> 00:15:03,235 No, it really is. It's very nice. 378 00:15:03,318 --> 00:15:04,569 Come on! 379 00:15:04,653 --> 00:15:05,820 Will I be too warm in a long-sleeved tee? 380 00:15:05,904 --> 00:15:09,699 Everyone's going to be fine in exactly what they're wearing! Let's go! 381 00:15:11,743 --> 00:15:13,035 Let's go! 382 00:15:17,457 --> 00:15:18,583 Come on! Hurry up, you guys! 383 00:15:18,667 --> 00:15:19,751 My life! 384 00:15:20,836 --> 00:15:22,712 Oh, my life! 385 00:15:23,130 --> 00:15:25,090 Michael, what's wrong? 386 00:15:25,465 --> 00:15:27,008 Everything's wrong. 387 00:15:27,342 --> 00:15:29,677 The stress of my modern office 388 00:15:29,803 --> 00:15:32,138 has caused me to go into a depression! 389 00:15:32,722 --> 00:15:37,222 Depression? Isn't that just a fancy word for feeling bummed out? 390 00:15:37,769 --> 00:15:39,479 Dwight, you ignorant slut. 391 00:15:39,646 --> 00:15:42,440 Depression is a very serious illness. 392 00:15:42,566 --> 00:15:47,066 Over 32,000 people commit suicide every year 393 00:15:47,946 --> 00:15:49,989 according to a 2004 study. 394 00:15:50,073 --> 00:15:52,075 Is that the last year the data was available? 395 00:15:52,159 --> 00:15:53,201 Yes. 396 00:15:53,285 --> 00:15:56,579 My head is in such pain and turmoil. 397 00:15:57,289 --> 00:15:58,665 Don't do anything rash. 398 00:15:58,748 --> 00:16:00,833 Dwight, where are the warehouse guys? 399 00:16:01,668 --> 00:16:02,794 I didn't... 400 00:16:06,131 --> 00:16:08,091 I didn't think you needed them for this part. 401 00:16:08,175 --> 00:16:10,010 Okay. That's... 402 00:16:10,093 --> 00:16:11,094 You said to just... 403 00:16:11,178 --> 00:16:12,179 That's the whole point, dummy. 404 00:16:12,262 --> 00:16:13,346 Okay. I'm on it. 405 00:16:13,430 --> 00:16:14,848 Okay? 406 00:16:16,057 --> 00:16:18,100 Attention, blue-collar workers! 407 00:16:19,603 --> 00:16:22,272 What are the odds that this is in any way real? 408 00:16:22,564 --> 00:16:25,066 I'd say, like, 10,000 to one. 409 00:16:25,233 --> 00:16:27,735 Okay, I'd like 10 bucks on those odds. 410 00:16:28,570 --> 00:16:33,070 If someone gives you 10,000 to one on anything, you take it. 411 00:16:34,826 --> 00:16:37,161 If John Mellencamp ever wins an Oscar, 412 00:16:37,787 --> 00:16:41,457 I am going to be a very rich dude. 413 00:16:43,001 --> 00:16:45,712 Michael is up on the roof and he's acting strange. 414 00:16:45,795 --> 00:16:48,047 Oh, my life. 415 00:16:48,131 --> 00:16:49,882 Michael, what's wrong? 416 00:16:49,966 --> 00:16:52,051 Everything is wrong, Dwight. 417 00:16:52,177 --> 00:16:56,014 The stress of my modern office has made me depressed. 418 00:16:56,097 --> 00:16:59,975 Depressed? Isn't that just a fancy word for feeling bummed out? 419 00:17:00,101 --> 00:17:01,644 Dwight, you ignorant slut! 420 00:17:01,728 --> 00:17:04,313 Well, you know, the first performance was a little off, 421 00:17:04,397 --> 00:17:07,733 but I really think they hit their stride in the second show. 422 00:17:09,194 --> 00:17:11,571 I might even bring my parents tomorrow to the matinee. 423 00:17:11,655 --> 00:17:12,947 And that is why... 424 00:17:13,031 --> 00:17:15,158 Oh, excuse me. It's my favorite part. 425 00:17:15,242 --> 00:17:16,451 ...am going to jump off this roof! 426 00:17:16,535 --> 00:17:18,161 This is just offensive. 427 00:17:18,286 --> 00:17:19,537 At least we're outside. 428 00:17:19,621 --> 00:17:22,332 Hey, check it out, there's a castle over there. 429 00:17:22,666 --> 00:17:24,584 Oh, my God, there is a castle. 430 00:17:25,335 --> 00:17:27,670 No. There's nothing to see over there, people. 431 00:17:27,754 --> 00:17:29,464 There's nothing to see. 432 00:17:31,383 --> 00:17:33,176 They found the castle, Michael. 433 00:17:33,260 --> 00:17:34,427 Damn it! 434 00:17:36,763 --> 00:17:40,266 Oh, God. Oh, my God, he's going to jump. 435 00:17:43,645 --> 00:17:46,773 He's going to kill himself pretending to kill himself. 436 00:17:46,856 --> 00:17:48,023 Yeah. 437 00:17:48,108 --> 00:17:49,234 Excuse me. 438 00:17:51,069 --> 00:17:53,446 Hey, Michael, 439 00:17:54,781 --> 00:17:56,824 don't jump on the bouncy castle. 440 00:17:58,118 --> 00:18:02,122 You can't do that 'cause you're going to get horribly, horribly injured. 441 00:18:02,664 --> 00:18:03,998 Hey, Michael, 442 00:18:04,833 --> 00:18:08,253 I have a present for you but you have to come down and get it. 443 00:18:09,754 --> 00:18:10,880 What is it? 444 00:18:11,131 --> 00:18:13,133 Come down and open it and you'll see. 445 00:18:13,216 --> 00:18:15,134 Dwight, find out what the present is. 446 00:18:15,218 --> 00:18:17,428 Okay, I don't see anything. 447 00:18:17,512 --> 00:18:18,679 She might be bluffing. 448 00:18:18,763 --> 00:18:20,139 Dwight. Dwight. 449 00:18:23,518 --> 00:18:25,686 It's a... 450 00:18:25,770 --> 00:18:30,270 A Repliee-Q-One-Expo female robot. 451 00:18:30,442 --> 00:18:32,110 They're only available in Japan. 452 00:18:32,193 --> 00:18:33,527 Dwight, you are such a liar. 453 00:18:33,612 --> 00:18:35,030 Pam, really what is it? 454 00:18:35,113 --> 00:18:37,782 Mike, this is the opposite of safety. 455 00:18:37,866 --> 00:18:39,742 You jump, you're going to seriously hurt yourself. 456 00:18:39,826 --> 00:18:41,953 You told me that I lead a... 457 00:18:42,996 --> 00:18:46,332 A cushy, wimpy Nerf life. 458 00:18:46,833 --> 00:18:47,917 Yeah. 459 00:18:48,001 --> 00:18:50,712 But I never said you had nothing to live for. 460 00:18:50,795 --> 00:18:52,630 What do I have to live for? 461 00:18:52,922 --> 00:18:54,590 A lot of things. 462 00:18:57,218 --> 00:18:58,385 You... 463 00:19:05,352 --> 00:19:06,853 What about Jan? 464 00:19:06,936 --> 00:19:09,521 Lovely, lovely, lovely Jan, man. 465 00:19:10,774 --> 00:19:12,400 It's going good, right? 466 00:19:12,692 --> 00:19:14,402 It's complicated with Jan. 467 00:19:15,654 --> 00:19:18,490 And I don't know where I stand or what I want. 468 00:19:19,574 --> 00:19:22,076 The sex isn't nearly as good as it used to be. 469 00:19:22,160 --> 00:19:23,161 Mike, 470 00:19:24,245 --> 00:19:25,955 you're a very brave man. 471 00:19:26,081 --> 00:19:28,458 I mean it takes courage just to be you. 472 00:19:29,125 --> 00:19:31,794 To get out of bed every single day, 473 00:19:32,504 --> 00:19:35,131 knowing full well you got to be you. 474 00:19:36,633 --> 00:19:38,009 Do you really mean that? 475 00:19:38,093 --> 00:19:39,469 I couldn't do it. 476 00:19:39,844 --> 00:19:42,388 I ain't that strong and I ain't that brave. 477 00:19:42,514 --> 00:19:43,681 I'm braver than you? 478 00:19:43,765 --> 00:19:45,057 Way braver. 479 00:19:45,600 --> 00:19:47,101 You Braveheart, man. 480 00:19:50,397 --> 00:19:51,606 I Braveheart. 481 00:19:53,733 --> 00:19:54,734 I am. 482 00:19:55,777 --> 00:19:57,153 Come on down, okay? 483 00:19:57,237 --> 00:19:58,321 Okay. 484 00:19:59,739 --> 00:20:02,116 Pam, I'm coming down to get my present. 485 00:20:03,576 --> 00:20:07,204 An office is as safe as the people in it. 486 00:20:07,288 --> 00:20:11,250 And sometimes those people can drive you to do crazy things 487 00:20:11,334 --> 00:20:15,379 to show the dangers of the office. 488 00:20:15,588 --> 00:20:18,090 That's the danger I found myself in today. 489 00:20:19,134 --> 00:20:20,426 I saved a life. 490 00:20:21,344 --> 00:20:22,553 My own. 491 00:20:23,138 --> 00:20:24,264 Am I a hero? 492 00:20:29,102 --> 00:20:31,229 I really can't say, but yes.