1 00:00:03,804 --> 00:00:04,971 David. 2 00:00:04,973 --> 00:00:06,940 Oh, Michael. 3 00:00:06,942 --> 00:00:08,441 Are we all set? 4 00:00:08,443 --> 00:00:11,811 Isn't... our interview tomorrow? 5 00:00:13,914 --> 00:00:15,048 Yes. 6 00:00:15,050 --> 00:00:17,150 I just happened to be in the neighborhood, 7 00:00:17,152 --> 00:00:19,052 thought I'd drop in, say hello. 8 00:00:19,054 --> 00:00:20,553 Just happened to be in Midtown Manhattan? 9 00:00:20,555 --> 00:00:23,390 Thought I'd catch a show. 10 00:00:23,392 --> 00:00:24,991 Middle of a work day? 11 00:00:24,993 --> 00:00:26,760 No. 12 00:00:26,762 --> 00:00:28,828 You know what? 13 00:00:28,830 --> 00:00:31,231 Since I'm here, let me ask you a few questions 14 00:00:31,233 --> 00:00:33,266 about the job. 15 00:00:33,268 --> 00:00:34,567 Okay. 16 00:00:34,569 --> 00:00:36,269 Um, how many people are you interviewing? 17 00:00:36,271 --> 00:00:38,171 We're only interviewing branch managers 18 00:00:38,173 --> 00:00:39,939 and some lower level company people. 19 00:00:39,941 --> 00:00:42,075 Ah, well. Good. 20 00:00:42,077 --> 00:00:43,843 Out of curiosity, are you interviewing anyone 21 00:00:43,845 --> 00:00:45,678 who's been here longer than I have, 22 00:00:45,680 --> 00:00:47,514 or manages more people? 23 00:00:47,516 --> 00:00:49,449 - I don't think so. - Great. 24 00:00:49,451 --> 00:00:51,217 One more question. 25 00:00:51,219 --> 00:00:54,254 When you merged those branches, who did you put in charge? 26 00:00:54,256 --> 00:00:57,023 I believe we put you in charge. 27 00:00:57,025 --> 00:00:58,925 Ah, great. No further questions. 28 00:00:58,927 --> 00:01:00,427 - Okay, Michael. - Okay. 29 00:01:00,429 --> 00:01:02,195 I'm really looking forward to our interview. 30 00:01:02,197 --> 00:01:04,564 And I'm really looking forward to working with you. 31 00:01:09,703 --> 00:01:12,038 I have got it made in the shade. 32 00:01:12,040 --> 00:01:13,239 I know this company. 33 00:01:13,241 --> 00:01:15,775 The other branch managers are total morons. 34 00:01:15,777 --> 00:01:16,943 Hey, Pam, yeah. 35 00:01:16,945 --> 00:01:18,044 I forgot what day the interview was, 36 00:01:18,046 --> 00:01:19,312 and I drove to New York accidentally. 37 00:01:19,314 --> 00:01:21,247 Be, like, three hours late. 38 00:01:43,037 --> 00:01:45,138 See, I have 600. 39 00:01:45,140 --> 00:01:46,806 Yeah, I don't have... 40 00:01:46,808 --> 00:01:48,408 Hey. 41 00:01:48,410 --> 00:01:49,542 Hey, Kev. 42 00:01:49,544 --> 00:01:52,212 What's different about you? 43 00:01:52,214 --> 00:01:53,446 You look worse. 44 00:01:53,448 --> 00:01:54,447 Thank you. 45 00:01:54,449 --> 00:01:55,448 He got a haircut. 46 00:01:55,450 --> 00:01:56,950 That's sexy. Hot. 47 00:01:56,952 --> 00:01:57,984 Oh. 48 00:01:57,986 --> 00:01:59,119 Turn around. 49 00:01:59,121 --> 00:02:00,120 - No. - C'mon. 50 00:02:00,122 --> 00:02:00,854 No, thanks. 51 00:02:00,856 --> 00:02:02,522 Do it! 52 00:02:02,524 --> 00:02:03,890 Lull-up do! 53 00:02:03,892 --> 00:02:06,292 What's up, Big Haircut? 54 00:02:06,294 --> 00:02:08,027 You are no longer Big Tuna. 55 00:02:08,029 --> 00:02:10,497 From henceforth, you shall be known as Big Haircut. 56 00:02:10,499 --> 00:02:11,498 Andy, just... 57 00:02:11,500 --> 00:02:13,133 - Big Haircut? - Nothing. 58 00:02:13,135 --> 00:02:14,334 Sorry, can't hear you, Big Haircut. 59 00:02:14,336 --> 00:02:15,368 - Yup. - What. 60 00:02:15,370 --> 00:02:18,171 Karen suggested that I get a haircut 61 00:02:18,173 --> 00:02:20,473 for the interview tomorrow. 62 00:02:20,475 --> 00:02:22,475 So that I could look presentable. 63 00:02:22,477 --> 00:02:25,645 And not, as she so lovingly puts it, 64 00:02:25,647 --> 00:02:27,447 homeless. 65 00:02:27,449 --> 00:02:28,781 Hey. 66 00:02:28,783 --> 00:02:30,116 I think it looks great. 67 00:02:30,118 --> 00:02:32,218 Thanks, Pam. 68 00:02:35,389 --> 00:02:38,091 After I had my little outburst at the beach, 69 00:02:38,093 --> 00:02:40,093 Jim was really nice about it. 70 00:02:40,095 --> 00:02:41,127 He just basically said 71 00:02:41,129 --> 00:02:43,763 that he missed my friendship too, 72 00:02:43,765 --> 00:02:45,398 and I would always mean a lot to him. 73 00:02:45,400 --> 00:02:47,433 And I understand where he's coming from. 74 00:02:47,435 --> 00:02:50,703 For the record, I am not embarrassed at all. 75 00:02:50,705 --> 00:02:53,006 It needed to be said, and I said it. 76 00:02:53,008 --> 00:02:55,441 And it only took me three years 77 00:02:55,443 --> 00:02:57,610 to summon the courage, so... 78 00:02:57,612 --> 00:02:59,746 Thank you. 79 00:02:59,748 --> 00:03:01,481 Yeah? 80 00:03:01,483 --> 00:03:02,682 You wanted to see me? 81 00:03:02,684 --> 00:03:04,250 Yes. 82 00:03:04,252 --> 00:03:06,452 The time has come to name my own replacement. 83 00:03:06,454 --> 00:03:09,923 So please hand this letter of congratulations 84 00:03:09,925 --> 00:03:12,825 to Dwight K. Schrute. 85 00:03:14,562 --> 00:03:17,297 But that's my name. 86 00:03:22,102 --> 00:03:25,271 "Dwight, congratulations, a-wipe. 87 00:03:25,273 --> 00:03:28,041 Don't screw the pooch." 88 00:03:32,447 --> 00:03:34,347 Oh. 89 00:03:34,349 --> 00:03:35,515 Thank you. 90 00:03:35,517 --> 00:03:37,650 Okay. 91 00:03:40,288 --> 00:03:41,287 All right. 92 00:03:41,289 --> 00:03:42,288 Thank you, Michael. 93 00:03:42,290 --> 00:03:44,357 Okay. 94 00:03:47,661 --> 00:03:49,529 - Thank you so much. - Please. 95 00:03:50,532 --> 00:03:51,531 Stop crying. 96 00:03:51,533 --> 00:03:52,865 Thank you. 97 00:04:01,375 --> 00:04:02,375 Hey. 98 00:04:02,377 --> 00:04:04,110 Hey. 99 00:04:04,112 --> 00:04:07,447 Um, about the beach. 100 00:04:07,449 --> 00:04:09,949 It's okay, we all say things without thinking. 101 00:04:09,951 --> 00:04:11,551 Oh, no, it's not that. 102 00:04:11,553 --> 00:04:13,820 I've actually been thinking that for a long time. 103 00:04:13,822 --> 00:04:15,421 And I'm glad I said it. 104 00:04:15,423 --> 00:04:18,191 I just, I'm sorry if it made you feel weird. 105 00:04:18,193 --> 00:04:21,394 Oh. 106 00:04:21,396 --> 00:04:22,929 Okay. 107 00:04:22,931 --> 00:04:27,200 Pam is kind of a bitch. 108 00:04:27,202 --> 00:04:28,635 Hey. 109 00:04:28,637 --> 00:04:30,336 What if we leave tonight? 110 00:04:30,338 --> 00:04:32,639 Grab a bite, get a hotel room. 111 00:04:32,641 --> 00:04:34,474 Enjoy the city a little bit. 112 00:04:34,476 --> 00:04:37,010 Uh... 113 00:04:37,012 --> 00:04:39,712 I just have so much paperwork to do. 114 00:04:42,951 --> 00:04:44,417 Wow, done. 115 00:04:44,419 --> 00:04:47,053 Okay, let's do it. 116 00:04:47,055 --> 00:04:48,755 So I was wondering if Karen and I could get off 117 00:04:48,757 --> 00:04:50,123 a few hours early, 'cause we wanted 118 00:04:50,125 --> 00:04:51,124 to spend the night in the city. 119 00:04:51,126 --> 00:04:53,259 Why, so you can do it? 120 00:04:53,261 --> 00:04:54,294 Whoops. 121 00:04:54,296 --> 00:04:55,395 No, um... 122 00:04:55,397 --> 00:04:56,729 Well, I was thinking that, uh, 123 00:04:56,731 --> 00:04:58,665 actually, we could all leave tomorrow. 124 00:04:58,667 --> 00:05:00,333 And do a convoy. 125 00:05:00,335 --> 00:05:01,668 - You know? - Oh. 126 00:05:01,670 --> 00:05:03,803 Convoys are really fun. 127 00:05:03,805 --> 00:05:05,305 Pull up next to each other. 128 00:05:05,307 --> 00:05:06,906 Give each other the finger. 129 00:05:06,908 --> 00:05:08,007 Mm. 130 00:05:08,009 --> 00:05:09,609 Moon each other. 131 00:05:09,611 --> 00:05:10,977 Uh, we're gonna go tonight. 132 00:05:10,979 --> 00:05:12,345 But we're gonna see you there tomorrow morning, right? 133 00:05:12,347 --> 00:05:13,413 All right. All right. 134 00:05:13,415 --> 00:05:14,814 Your loss. Wait. 135 00:05:14,816 --> 00:05:16,749 Um, how would you moon us if you were driving? 136 00:05:16,751 --> 00:05:17,884 Cruise control. 137 00:05:17,886 --> 00:05:19,285 Oh. 138 00:05:19,287 --> 00:05:22,255 So Jim, who do you think is hotter, 139 00:05:22,257 --> 00:05:24,057 Pam or Karen? 140 00:05:24,059 --> 00:05:25,958 Yeah, I'm not gonna talk about this now. 141 00:05:25,960 --> 00:05:27,060 Pam is taller. 142 00:05:27,062 --> 00:05:28,094 You sure? 143 00:05:28,096 --> 00:05:30,630 Yes. 144 00:05:30,632 --> 00:05:32,765 She has bigger breasts too. 145 00:05:32,767 --> 00:05:33,900 Wow. 146 00:05:33,902 --> 00:05:35,535 But I think Karen has a prettier face. 147 00:05:35,537 --> 00:05:37,203 Mm-hmm. 148 00:05:37,205 --> 00:05:39,038 Mm-hmm. 149 00:05:39,040 --> 00:05:40,973 What else? 150 00:05:40,975 --> 00:05:44,711 Well, I mean, Pam's face is really pretty too. 151 00:05:44,713 --> 00:05:46,145 It's a very tough call. 152 00:05:46,147 --> 00:05:47,580 Mm. 153 00:05:47,582 --> 00:05:48,648 Really tough call. 154 00:05:48,650 --> 00:05:49,816 Yeah. 155 00:05:49,818 --> 00:05:51,584 You know what, why don't you take 156 00:05:51,586 --> 00:05:53,319 the rest of the day, figure it out, 157 00:05:53,321 --> 00:05:55,888 and then come back and tell me what you got? 158 00:05:55,890 --> 00:05:58,358 Will do. 159 00:05:58,360 --> 00:06:00,126 All right. 160 00:06:00,128 --> 00:06:02,829 Yes. 161 00:06:02,831 --> 00:06:04,964 Hey, Pam. 162 00:06:04,966 --> 00:06:06,899 I've been meaning to say something to you. 163 00:06:06,901 --> 00:06:08,801 I really miss our friendship. 164 00:06:10,004 --> 00:06:11,871 Ha ha, that's very funny. 165 00:06:11,873 --> 00:06:13,906 I've never heard you talk that much. 166 00:06:13,908 --> 00:06:15,375 I thought it was Kelly. 167 00:06:15,377 --> 00:06:17,276 Are you kidding? I would never have done that. 168 00:06:17,278 --> 00:06:18,311 It was patheticville. 169 00:06:18,313 --> 00:06:19,312 No offense, Pam. 170 00:06:19,314 --> 00:06:20,313 You know what? 171 00:06:20,315 --> 00:06:21,748 Don't even worry about it. 172 00:06:21,750 --> 00:06:22,782 Everyone was so drunk, 173 00:06:22,784 --> 00:06:24,584 I bet no one even remembers what you said. 174 00:06:24,586 --> 00:06:25,585 I remember. 175 00:06:25,587 --> 00:06:27,120 I blogged the whole thing. 176 00:06:27,122 --> 00:06:33,559 www.creedthoughts.gov. www\creedthoughts. 177 00:06:33,561 --> 00:06:34,927 Check it out. 178 00:06:34,929 --> 00:06:37,964 Last year, Creed asked me how to set up a blog. 179 00:06:37,966 --> 00:06:42,402 Wanting to protect the world from being exposed 180 00:06:42,404 --> 00:06:45,705 to Creed's brain, I opened up a Word document 181 00:06:45,707 --> 00:06:48,775 on his computer, and put an address at the top. 182 00:06:48,777 --> 00:06:51,077 I've read some of it. 183 00:06:51,079 --> 00:06:52,478 Even for the internet, 184 00:06:52,480 --> 00:06:56,115 it's... pretty shocking. 185 00:06:56,117 --> 00:06:57,150 There they are. 186 00:06:57,152 --> 00:06:58,317 The accounting department. 187 00:06:58,319 --> 00:07:00,319 I shall miss your humility 188 00:07:00,321 --> 00:07:02,288 and your promptly-printed checks. 189 00:07:02,290 --> 00:07:03,623 Do you think it's gonna be weird? 190 00:07:03,625 --> 00:07:05,858 Working with Jan in New York? 191 00:07:05,860 --> 00:07:06,959 No, not at all. 192 00:07:06,961 --> 00:07:08,828 I haven't talked to Jan since we broke up. 193 00:07:08,830 --> 00:07:11,531 And I think if she had something to say, 194 00:07:11,533 --> 00:07:12,698 she would've called me. 195 00:07:12,700 --> 00:07:14,100 Maybe you should talk to her... 196 00:07:14,102 --> 00:07:15,101 No, no, no, no. 197 00:07:15,103 --> 00:07:16,102 You know what? 198 00:07:16,104 --> 00:07:17,370 It's a done deal. 199 00:07:17,372 --> 00:07:19,172 I basically have the job already. 200 00:07:19,174 --> 00:07:21,274 There's nothing she can do to stop it now. 201 00:07:21,276 --> 00:07:22,508 I already sold my condo. 202 00:07:22,510 --> 00:07:23,609 Michael. 203 00:07:23,611 --> 00:07:24,877 What? Why? 204 00:07:24,879 --> 00:07:26,546 I'm sorry, that just doesn't make sense. 205 00:07:26,548 --> 00:07:27,547 Yes. W-why? 206 00:07:27,549 --> 00:07:28,848 Who gave you that advice? 207 00:07:28,850 --> 00:07:30,983 Yeah, Michael, you should never sell your condo... 208 00:07:30,985 --> 00:07:32,251 I have to buy another place. 209 00:07:32,253 --> 00:07:33,453 But you said you were in debt. 210 00:07:33,455 --> 00:07:34,987 You're not sure that you have the job. 211 00:07:34,989 --> 00:07:37,056 I sold it on eBay. 212 00:07:37,058 --> 00:07:39,826 The buyer was very motivated, as was I. 213 00:07:39,828 --> 00:07:42,528 It went for 80% of what I paid. 214 00:07:42,530 --> 00:07:44,831 Sold in record time. 215 00:07:44,833 --> 00:07:46,265 How would you like to spend the night 216 00:07:46,267 --> 00:07:49,669 with the regional manager of Dunder-Mifflin Scranton? 217 00:07:49,671 --> 00:07:52,138 No, Dwight, I don't care if that's how 218 00:07:52,140 --> 00:07:54,240 they consolidated power in ancient Rome. 219 00:07:54,242 --> 00:07:56,108 No, no. Not... not Michael. 220 00:07:56,110 --> 00:07:57,910 Me. 221 00:07:57,912 --> 00:08:00,847 I'm taking his job. 222 00:08:00,849 --> 00:08:03,049 Not now. 223 00:08:08,489 --> 00:08:12,058 Good-bye, Kelly Kapur. 224 00:08:12,960 --> 00:08:15,528 Jim, Jim, Jim. 225 00:08:17,331 --> 00:08:21,667 Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim. 226 00:08:21,669 --> 00:08:24,103 Oh. Hey, Dwight. 227 00:08:24,105 --> 00:08:25,972 I'm going to be your new boss. 228 00:08:27,075 --> 00:08:29,642 It's my greatest dream come true. 229 00:08:29,644 --> 00:08:31,377 Welcome to the Hotel Hell. 230 00:08:31,379 --> 00:08:34,780 Check-in time is now, check-out time is never. 231 00:08:34,782 --> 00:08:36,048 Does my room have cable? 232 00:08:36,050 --> 00:08:37,049 No. 233 00:08:37,051 --> 00:08:39,318 And the sheets are made of fire. 234 00:08:39,320 --> 00:08:40,786 Can I change rooms? 235 00:08:40,788 --> 00:08:42,388 Sorry, we're all booked up. 236 00:08:42,390 --> 00:08:44,557 Hell convention in town. 237 00:08:44,559 --> 00:08:46,092 Can I have a late checkout? 238 00:08:46,094 --> 00:08:47,793 We'll have to talk to the manager. 239 00:08:47,795 --> 00:08:49,362 You're not the manager? 240 00:08:49,364 --> 00:08:50,963 Even in your own fantasy? 241 00:08:50,965 --> 00:08:53,733 I'm the owner. 242 00:08:53,735 --> 00:08:55,268 The co-owner. 243 00:08:55,270 --> 00:08:56,836 With Satan. 244 00:08:56,838 --> 00:08:59,605 Okay, just so I understand it. 245 00:08:59,607 --> 00:09:03,309 In your wildest fantasy, you are in hell. 246 00:09:03,311 --> 00:09:06,612 And you are co-running a bed and breakfast 247 00:09:06,614 --> 00:09:07,847 with the devil. 248 00:09:07,849 --> 00:09:10,383 Yeah, but I haven't told you my salary yet. 249 00:09:10,385 --> 00:09:11,384 Go. 250 00:09:11,386 --> 00:09:15,021 $80,000 a year. 251 00:09:15,023 --> 00:09:16,589 Once I am officially regional manager, 252 00:09:16,591 --> 00:09:19,926 my first order of business will be to demote Jim Halpert. 253 00:09:19,928 --> 00:09:22,528 So I will need a new number two. 254 00:09:22,530 --> 00:09:25,164 My ideal choice? 255 00:09:25,166 --> 00:09:27,066 Jack Bauer. 256 00:09:27,068 --> 00:09:29,201 But he is unavailable. 257 00:09:29,203 --> 00:09:30,903 Fictional. 258 00:09:30,905 --> 00:09:32,805 And overqualified. 259 00:09:32,807 --> 00:09:36,475 I will see you... 260 00:09:36,477 --> 00:09:39,445 at the interview. 261 00:09:39,447 --> 00:09:42,748 Yes, you will. 262 00:09:42,750 --> 00:09:44,584 Who is D. Abramson? 263 00:09:44,586 --> 00:09:46,118 Um, he's from that company in Pittsburgh. 264 00:09:46,120 --> 00:09:47,119 Michael. 265 00:09:47,121 --> 00:09:49,488 Why? 266 00:09:49,490 --> 00:09:51,490 Are you here? 267 00:09:51,492 --> 00:09:55,595 Uh, how are you? 268 00:09:55,597 --> 00:09:56,596 I'm good. 269 00:09:56,598 --> 00:09:57,730 How are you, Janet? 270 00:09:57,732 --> 00:09:58,731 It's good to see you. 271 00:09:58,733 --> 00:10:00,299 I'm great. 272 00:10:04,071 --> 00:10:07,840 Uh, can we... can we talk privately 273 00:10:07,842 --> 00:10:09,241 for a minute? 274 00:10:09,243 --> 00:10:11,143 Why privately? 275 00:10:11,145 --> 00:10:15,581 Uh, I just... I, uh, I don't, uh. 276 00:10:15,583 --> 00:10:17,850 I-I don't like the way that we left things. 277 00:10:17,852 --> 00:10:19,986 Okay, sure. Fine. 278 00:10:19,988 --> 00:10:21,420 Um, why don't you wait in my office? 279 00:10:21,422 --> 00:10:23,255 I have some important business matters 280 00:10:23,257 --> 00:10:25,958 to take care of. 281 00:10:25,960 --> 00:10:27,226 Okay. 282 00:10:27,228 --> 00:10:29,195 Okay. 283 00:10:30,864 --> 00:10:35,668 Pam, DEFCON 10, Houston, we have a problem. 284 00:10:35,670 --> 00:10:37,703 What do you want me to do? 285 00:10:37,705 --> 00:10:40,373 Uh, I may need some immediate assistance. 286 00:10:40,375 --> 00:10:43,609 If you would slowly and quietly gather the ladies 287 00:10:43,611 --> 00:10:44,710 in the conference room. 288 00:10:44,712 --> 00:10:45,945 Phyllis, Angela, Karen. 289 00:10:45,947 --> 00:10:47,279 What about Meredith? 290 00:10:47,281 --> 00:10:48,748 No. 291 00:10:48,750 --> 00:10:50,783 She's an alternate. 292 00:10:50,785 --> 00:10:52,385 So how you been? 293 00:10:52,387 --> 00:10:53,619 - I've been good. - Good. 294 00:10:53,621 --> 00:10:55,321 Good. Yeah. 295 00:10:55,323 --> 00:10:56,389 Oh. 296 00:10:56,391 --> 00:10:57,723 Sorry to drop by unexpectedly. 297 00:10:57,725 --> 00:11:01,093 I, uh, tried calling, but I kept getting voice-mail. 298 00:11:01,095 --> 00:11:02,628 Weird, yeah. 299 00:11:02,630 --> 00:11:04,530 I didn't get both of your messages. 300 00:11:04,532 --> 00:11:06,532 Ah. 301 00:11:08,535 --> 00:11:11,370 So, uh, Michael needs us in the conference room. 302 00:11:11,372 --> 00:11:12,371 Oh, is it Jan again? 303 00:11:12,373 --> 00:11:15,074 Hey, uh, before I leave tonight, 304 00:11:15,076 --> 00:11:17,343 would you mind making a half a dozen copies 305 00:11:17,345 --> 00:11:18,511 of Jim's and my sales reports 306 00:11:18,513 --> 00:11:19,512 for our interviews tomorrow? 307 00:11:19,514 --> 00:11:20,513 Uh, sure. 308 00:11:20,515 --> 00:11:21,881 Thanks. 309 00:11:21,883 --> 00:11:24,083 I really hope you get the job. 310 00:11:24,085 --> 00:11:28,521 Thanks. 311 00:11:28,523 --> 00:11:31,257 After you ended everything with us, 312 00:11:31,259 --> 00:11:32,758 I went on a vacation. 313 00:11:32,760 --> 00:11:34,393 Mm. 314 00:11:34,395 --> 00:11:35,594 To kind of clear my mind. 315 00:11:35,596 --> 00:11:37,063 Sounds good, sounds fun. 316 00:11:37,065 --> 00:11:39,799 It was, yeah, it was good. 317 00:11:39,801 --> 00:11:41,867 I think I should just... 318 00:11:41,869 --> 00:11:43,602 get right to the point, you know? 319 00:11:43,604 --> 00:11:47,740 Um, I-I feel good about myself 320 00:11:47,742 --> 00:11:51,310 for the first time in a really long time. 321 00:11:51,312 --> 00:11:53,579 And I've made some big changes 322 00:11:53,581 --> 00:11:56,382 in my life, and... 323 00:11:56,384 --> 00:11:58,818 I miss you. 324 00:12:00,887 --> 00:12:02,922 I want us to get back together. 325 00:12:06,993 --> 00:12:09,028 Would you excuse me for a second? 326 00:12:09,030 --> 00:12:11,597 Oh, okay. 327 00:12:11,599 --> 00:12:15,534 DEFCON 20. 328 00:12:15,536 --> 00:12:16,669 She wants to get back together. 329 00:12:16,671 --> 00:12:17,837 What are you gonna do? 330 00:12:17,839 --> 00:12:19,538 I don't know. That's why you're here. 331 00:12:19,540 --> 00:12:20,740 Help me, please. 332 00:12:20,742 --> 00:12:21,774 Would you wanna get back together with her? 333 00:12:21,776 --> 00:12:23,375 No! No. 334 00:12:23,377 --> 00:12:24,610 What do I do? 335 00:12:24,612 --> 00:12:26,512 Just don't get back together with her. 336 00:12:26,514 --> 00:12:27,646 What if she makes me? 337 00:12:27,648 --> 00:12:29,415 How can she make you get back together with her? 338 00:12:29,417 --> 00:12:32,084 She made me do a lot of things I didn't wanna do. 339 00:12:32,086 --> 00:12:34,386 This was a terrible relationship. 340 00:12:34,388 --> 00:12:36,088 You were not happy when you were with her. 341 00:12:36,090 --> 00:12:37,089 I wasn't. 342 00:12:37,091 --> 00:12:38,791 You're so much happier now. 343 00:12:38,793 --> 00:12:41,060 Just go in there and be strong. 344 00:12:41,062 --> 00:12:42,595 You're right. 345 00:12:42,597 --> 00:12:44,230 You are absolutely right, I need to go in there 346 00:12:44,232 --> 00:12:46,232 and tell her that we can't be together. 347 00:12:46,234 --> 00:12:47,767 Right. 348 00:12:47,769 --> 00:12:49,401 - Wow. - You can do it. 349 00:12:49,403 --> 00:12:51,737 I'm in a very good place right now. 350 00:12:51,739 --> 00:12:52,738 Thank you. 351 00:12:52,740 --> 00:12:54,440 Go. Go, go. 352 00:12:56,277 --> 00:12:57,376 Okay. 353 00:12:58,379 --> 00:13:01,247 Jan... 354 00:13:01,249 --> 00:13:03,616 We need to talk. 355 00:13:08,989 --> 00:13:11,123 Jan is in a different place right now. 356 00:13:11,125 --> 00:13:13,225 And it is a sign of maturity 357 00:13:13,227 --> 00:13:16,028 to give people second chances. 358 00:13:16,030 --> 00:13:17,930 So I'm going to hear her out. 359 00:13:22,269 --> 00:13:26,105 Oh, my God. 360 00:13:28,843 --> 00:13:30,709 Yeah, bigger actually. 361 00:13:30,711 --> 00:13:31,710 That's crazy. 362 00:13:31,712 --> 00:13:32,845 Mm-hmm. 363 00:13:36,449 --> 00:13:39,151 Oh, my God, can you believe that? 364 00:13:39,153 --> 00:13:40,352 Unbelievable. 365 00:13:40,354 --> 00:13:41,687 Wow. 366 00:13:41,689 --> 00:13:42,922 She could put the cup right there. 367 00:13:42,924 --> 00:13:43,923 I know. 368 00:13:43,925 --> 00:13:45,424 No, it's fine. 369 00:13:45,426 --> 00:13:47,459 I'm sure it must've been weird for Jim 370 00:13:47,461 --> 00:13:50,262 when Roy and I were joking around. 371 00:13:50,264 --> 00:13:52,131 That one time. 372 00:13:53,934 --> 00:13:55,467 I would never do that. 373 00:13:55,469 --> 00:13:57,603 Waste of money. 374 00:13:57,605 --> 00:14:00,472 In my experience, guys are way more attracted 375 00:14:00,474 --> 00:14:02,975 to the back of you than to the front. 376 00:14:02,977 --> 00:14:04,710 I love fake boobs. 377 00:14:04,712 --> 00:14:07,780 Oftentimes you find them on strippers. 378 00:14:07,782 --> 00:14:08,781 I find it offensive. 379 00:14:08,783 --> 00:14:10,482 Au naturel, baby. 380 00:14:10,484 --> 00:14:11,784 That's how I like 'em. 381 00:14:11,786 --> 00:14:14,820 Swing low, sweet chariots. 382 00:14:14,822 --> 00:14:16,388 So... 383 00:14:16,390 --> 00:14:18,190 There are a lot of things I would like to do differently. 384 00:14:18,192 --> 00:14:19,191 Yeah. 385 00:14:19,193 --> 00:14:21,193 I feel like when we first got together, 386 00:14:21,195 --> 00:14:23,162 that I had a problem with my priorities. 387 00:14:23,164 --> 00:14:24,663 First got priorities. 388 00:14:24,665 --> 00:14:27,399 And if we could talk about a way to approach 389 00:14:27,401 --> 00:14:28,801 a possible reconciliation. 390 00:14:28,803 --> 00:14:30,302 Let's get back together. 391 00:14:32,807 --> 00:14:34,039 No. No, no, no. 392 00:14:34,041 --> 00:14:35,107 I'll tell you this, 393 00:14:35,109 --> 00:14:37,042 it is not because of the boob job. 394 00:14:37,044 --> 00:14:39,178 Excuse me, boob enhancement. 395 00:14:39,180 --> 00:14:40,379 That would be shallow. 396 00:14:40,381 --> 00:14:42,414 And this is the opposite of shallow. 397 00:14:42,416 --> 00:14:45,951 This is emotionally magnificent. 398 00:14:45,953 --> 00:14:47,386 Okay, everyone, listen up! 399 00:14:47,388 --> 00:14:50,522 Time to begin the interview process! 400 00:14:52,359 --> 00:14:54,260 Andrew Bernard. 401 00:14:54,262 --> 00:14:56,161 Saving the best for first. 402 00:14:56,163 --> 00:14:57,930 All right, you guys, see you later. 403 00:14:57,932 --> 00:14:59,131 Wish us luck. 404 00:14:59,133 --> 00:15:00,566 No! Hey, hey, hey, do not wish them luck. 405 00:15:00,568 --> 00:15:01,734 Do not wish them luck. 406 00:15:01,736 --> 00:15:03,535 All luck must be wished unto Michael. 407 00:15:03,537 --> 00:15:05,371 Good luck, you guys. 408 00:15:05,373 --> 00:15:06,839 What did I say? 409 00:15:06,841 --> 00:15:07,840 Good luck. 410 00:15:07,842 --> 00:15:09,575 Thanks. 411 00:15:12,746 --> 00:15:14,380 I'm happy for him. 412 00:15:14,382 --> 00:15:16,048 I hope he gets the job. 413 00:15:16,050 --> 00:15:18,183 I really just want him to be happy. 414 00:15:18,185 --> 00:15:19,852 And I know that sounds cliché. 415 00:15:19,854 --> 00:15:24,690 And I know saying it sounds cliché sounds cliché. 416 00:15:24,692 --> 00:15:27,159 Maybe I'm being cliché, I don't care. 417 00:15:27,161 --> 00:15:30,930 'Cause I am what I am. 418 00:15:30,932 --> 00:15:33,265 That's Popeye. 419 00:15:33,267 --> 00:15:35,034 I am going to begin this process 420 00:15:35,036 --> 00:15:36,869 with a simple test of intelligence 421 00:15:36,871 --> 00:15:39,672 and mental dexterity. 422 00:15:39,674 --> 00:15:40,973 What is the best color? 423 00:15:40,975 --> 00:15:44,777 White, because it contains all other colors. 424 00:15:44,779 --> 00:15:46,879 Wrong, black. It is the most dominant. 425 00:15:46,881 --> 00:15:48,180 How do you make a table? 426 00:15:48,182 --> 00:15:51,550 You make a chair, but you don't sit on it. 427 00:15:51,552 --> 00:15:52,851 What is the capital of Maine? 428 00:15:52,853 --> 00:15:55,554 The capital of Maine is Montpelier, Vermont. 429 00:15:55,556 --> 00:15:57,690 Which is near Ithaca, New York, 430 00:15:57,692 --> 00:15:59,091 where I went to Cornell. 431 00:15:59,093 --> 00:16:02,061 Okay, also, moratorium on Cornell talk. 432 00:16:02,063 --> 00:16:03,195 Don't wanna hear about it. 433 00:16:03,197 --> 00:16:04,496 Forget your personal history, 434 00:16:04,498 --> 00:16:06,098 and learn the history of this company. 435 00:16:06,100 --> 00:16:07,099 Should not be a problem. 436 00:16:07,101 --> 00:16:08,233 I minored in history 437 00:16:08,235 --> 00:16:10,169 in the ivy league school which I attended. 438 00:16:10,171 --> 00:16:12,438 You're not off to a very good start, Bernard. 439 00:16:12,440 --> 00:16:14,340 I agree. 440 00:16:14,342 --> 00:16:16,709 But in another way, 441 00:16:16,711 --> 00:16:20,245 I am off to a very good start, wouldn't you say? 442 00:16:20,247 --> 00:16:22,781 I am a great interviewee. 443 00:16:22,783 --> 00:16:25,784 Why? Because I have something no one else has. 444 00:16:25,786 --> 00:16:27,953 My brain. 445 00:16:27,955 --> 00:16:32,558 Which I use to my advantage, when advantageous. 446 00:16:35,963 --> 00:16:37,796 Time! Nope, you failed. 447 00:16:37,798 --> 00:16:39,098 Damn it! 448 00:16:39,100 --> 00:16:43,202 This interview is over, I'll let you know. 449 00:16:43,204 --> 00:16:45,771 Hey, thank you so much for driving me down 450 00:16:45,773 --> 00:16:46,772 for my interview. 451 00:16:46,774 --> 00:16:48,040 Totally. No problem. 452 00:16:48,042 --> 00:16:50,142 What are you interviewing for, by the way? 453 00:16:50,144 --> 00:16:51,610 My assistant, or... 454 00:16:51,612 --> 00:16:52,978 Oh, you know, I'm gonna have 455 00:16:52,980 --> 00:16:55,614 a "Congratulations, Karen" party, um, 456 00:16:55,616 --> 00:16:57,049 tomorrow night at my friend's house. 457 00:16:57,051 --> 00:16:59,118 - Oh, wow, that sounds fun. - Yeah. 458 00:16:59,120 --> 00:17:01,153 Is your friend named Karen too? 459 00:17:01,155 --> 00:17:02,554 What did she accomplish? 460 00:17:02,556 --> 00:17:04,757 No, I'm sorry. I should've been clearer. 461 00:17:04,759 --> 00:17:05,991 Uh-huh. It's for me. 462 00:17:05,993 --> 00:17:09,828 - Oh. - 'Cause I'm gonna get the job. 463 00:17:09,830 --> 00:17:11,597 How remarkable. 464 00:17:11,599 --> 00:17:13,399 Thanks. 465 00:17:15,636 --> 00:17:17,903 Wait, let me just check one more thing. 466 00:17:17,905 --> 00:17:21,140 Okay. 467 00:17:21,142 --> 00:17:23,008 Very good. 468 00:17:27,680 --> 00:17:30,783 All right, well, I have to get back. 469 00:17:30,785 --> 00:17:32,851 But I will see you in New York tomorrow, right? 470 00:17:32,853 --> 00:17:33,852 Yes, indeed. 471 00:17:33,854 --> 00:17:35,020 Good luck with your interview. 472 00:17:35,022 --> 00:17:37,523 Thank you. 473 00:17:37,525 --> 00:17:38,991 Bye. 474 00:17:44,998 --> 00:17:46,598 So I... 475 00:17:46,600 --> 00:17:48,233 guess we're getting back together. 476 00:17:48,235 --> 00:17:49,468 What happened? 477 00:17:49,470 --> 00:17:51,203 Your advice was good, 478 00:17:51,205 --> 00:17:53,605 but Jan's was bigger. 479 00:17:53,607 --> 00:17:55,274 Here's the sitch. 480 00:17:55,276 --> 00:17:58,710 Two weeks ago, I was in the worst relationship 481 00:17:58,712 --> 00:17:59,711 of my life. 482 00:17:59,713 --> 00:18:01,447 She treated me poorly. 483 00:18:01,449 --> 00:18:02,781 We didn't connect. 484 00:18:02,783 --> 00:18:04,283 I was miserable. 485 00:18:04,285 --> 00:18:08,654 Now I'm in the best relationship of my life 486 00:18:08,656 --> 00:18:11,590 with the same woman. 487 00:18:11,592 --> 00:18:14,693 Love is a mystery. 488 00:18:14,695 --> 00:18:17,563 So we have all night, where do you wanna go first? 489 00:18:17,565 --> 00:18:18,831 I don't know. 490 00:18:18,833 --> 00:18:19,932 How 'bout the U.N.? 491 00:18:19,934 --> 00:18:22,134 How often do you come here? 492 00:18:22,136 --> 00:18:24,036 Mm, every time my sixth grade class 493 00:18:24,038 --> 00:18:25,037 goes on a field trip. 494 00:18:25,039 --> 00:18:26,038 Well, I think you're 495 00:18:26,040 --> 00:18:28,707 really going to enjoy this, Adult Jim. 496 00:18:34,114 --> 00:18:37,349 Hey, everybody. 497 00:18:37,351 --> 00:18:39,084 The next time you see me, I will be working 498 00:18:39,086 --> 00:18:40,953 for corporate. 499 00:18:40,955 --> 00:18:42,754 Starting tomorrow, Dwight Schrute 500 00:18:42,756 --> 00:18:46,258 will be running the branch. 501 00:18:46,260 --> 00:18:48,961 So without further ado... 502 00:18:51,132 --> 00:18:53,132 I would like to start saying my good-byes. 503 00:19:00,641 --> 00:19:02,141 Okay. 504 00:19:06,914 --> 00:19:09,281 Good night. 505 00:19:09,283 --> 00:19:10,883 And good luck. 506 00:19:23,163 --> 00:19:25,297 Who's ready to work? 507 00:19:28,067 --> 00:19:30,202 Yeah, we went to The Spotted Pig 508 00:19:30,204 --> 00:19:31,670 for dinner, it's in the Village. 509 00:19:31,672 --> 00:19:33,105 Uh, Karen knew it. 510 00:19:33,107 --> 00:19:35,741 And then we second-acted Spamalot. 511 00:19:35,743 --> 00:19:37,476 That's when you sneak in at intermission 512 00:19:37,478 --> 00:19:38,977 with all the smokers. 513 00:19:38,979 --> 00:19:42,114 And then we went to a bar that used to be a church. 514 00:19:42,116 --> 00:19:45,184 Oh, and at this one bar, I swear I saw Lorne Michaels. 515 00:19:45,186 --> 00:19:47,519 That wasn't him. 516 00:19:49,023 --> 00:19:50,022 So what's gonna happen with us 517 00:19:50,024 --> 00:19:51,590 when I get this job? 518 00:19:51,592 --> 00:19:53,258 Oh, do you mean when I get the job? 519 00:19:53,260 --> 00:19:56,695 Well, if you get the job... 520 00:19:56,697 --> 00:19:59,398 then I'd move here with you. 521 00:19:59,400 --> 00:20:01,967 Would you move with me? 522 00:20:01,969 --> 00:20:03,569 I'm not stupid, okay? 523 00:20:03,571 --> 00:20:05,604 I was at the beach. 524 00:20:05,606 --> 00:20:07,940 We don't have a future in Scranton. 525 00:20:07,942 --> 00:20:11,076 There's one too many people there. 526 00:20:11,078 --> 00:20:13,378 You mean Kevin? 527 00:20:13,380 --> 00:20:14,613 Exactly. 528 00:20:16,617 --> 00:20:19,518 No, but you get it, right? 529 00:20:19,520 --> 00:20:21,486 We can't stay there. 530 00:20:21,488 --> 00:20:23,622 Yeah. 531 00:20:23,624 --> 00:20:25,924 I do. 532 00:20:25,926 --> 00:20:27,593 Come on. 533 00:20:40,107 --> 00:20:42,474 How are you guys doing? Need anything? 534 00:20:42,476 --> 00:20:44,443 Uh, no, we're good. Thanks. 535 00:20:44,445 --> 00:20:46,044 I have been here a bunch of times, 536 00:20:46,046 --> 00:20:47,546 so I know where everything is. 537 00:20:47,548 --> 00:20:48,914 Know everybody's names. 538 00:20:48,916 --> 00:20:50,582 If you need to know somebody's name, just ask me. 539 00:20:53,287 --> 00:20:55,520 Who's that? 540 00:20:55,522 --> 00:20:57,356 That is Beardy. 541 00:20:57,358 --> 00:20:58,390 Beardy? 542 00:20:58,392 --> 00:20:59,424 Mm-hmm. 543 00:20:59,426 --> 00:21:00,692 Why don't I introduce myself. 544 00:21:00,694 --> 00:21:01,893 No, no, no... just... that's not his real name. 545 00:21:01,895 --> 00:21:04,563 That's just what I call him, so. 546 00:21:04,565 --> 00:21:06,331 I am by far the most qualified person 547 00:21:06,333 --> 00:21:07,566 they're interviewing. 548 00:21:07,568 --> 00:21:09,167 Jim and Karen are here. 549 00:21:09,169 --> 00:21:10,535 Which is cute. 550 00:21:10,537 --> 00:21:13,839 They're like kid actors tagging along with Daddy 551 00:21:13,841 --> 00:21:15,340 on the big audition. 552 00:21:15,342 --> 00:21:17,075 Hoping to be discovered. 553 00:21:17,077 --> 00:21:20,779 Except Daddy is the best actor around. 554 00:21:20,781 --> 00:21:24,349 Daddy is Meryl Streep. 555 00:21:24,351 --> 00:21:26,485 Michael is gone. 556 00:21:26,487 --> 00:21:31,223 Hail to the Chief! 557 00:21:31,225 --> 00:21:32,491 My first order of business, 558 00:21:32,493 --> 00:21:35,661 make Andrew Bernard my number two. 559 00:21:35,663 --> 00:21:38,463 My first order of business, accept. 560 00:21:38,465 --> 00:21:40,232 As if you had a choice. 561 00:21:40,234 --> 00:21:41,867 Duh. 562 00:21:41,869 --> 00:21:44,002 Opportunity of a lifetime. 563 00:21:45,439 --> 00:21:48,607 Three months ago, I was nowhere. 564 00:21:48,609 --> 00:21:52,110 I was just a Cornell grad in anger management. 565 00:21:52,112 --> 00:21:53,679 Look where I am now. 566 00:21:53,681 --> 00:21:56,581 Not bad. 567 00:22:00,119 --> 00:22:01,920 Hey, Hunter! 568 00:22:01,922 --> 00:22:03,522 What's up, my brother? 569 00:22:03,524 --> 00:22:06,391 This is Hunter, secretary extraordinaire. 570 00:22:06,393 --> 00:22:08,427 Uh, administrative assistant. 571 00:22:08,429 --> 00:22:09,795 Is Jan in yet? 572 00:22:09,797 --> 00:22:10,962 I think she's coming in later. 573 00:22:10,964 --> 00:22:11,963 Could you give her a message for me 574 00:22:11,965 --> 00:22:12,964 when she gets in? 575 00:22:12,966 --> 00:22:14,800 Sure. 576 00:22:14,802 --> 00:22:19,004 Just say "I want to squeeze them." 577 00:22:19,006 --> 00:22:21,239 It's code, she'll know what it means. 578 00:22:21,241 --> 00:22:23,342 Okay. 579 00:22:23,344 --> 00:22:24,343 Oh, and Hunter? 580 00:22:24,345 --> 00:22:26,511 Could you tell her "Brr," also? 581 00:22:30,149 --> 00:22:31,950 You showed great leadership potential 582 00:22:31,952 --> 00:22:32,984 at the coal walk. 583 00:22:32,986 --> 00:22:34,419 Even if you did follow it 584 00:22:34,421 --> 00:22:36,588 with that embarrassing personal confession. 585 00:22:36,590 --> 00:22:38,457 Thank you. 586 00:22:38,459 --> 00:22:40,392 I had to make Andy my number two. 587 00:22:40,394 --> 00:22:42,060 It's political, complicated. 588 00:22:42,062 --> 00:22:43,195 You wouldn't understand. 589 00:22:43,197 --> 00:22:47,265 I want you to be assistant regional manager. 590 00:22:48,368 --> 00:22:49,468 Really? 591 00:22:49,470 --> 00:22:51,269 Well, in a sense. 592 00:22:51,271 --> 00:22:53,038 Although publicly, I am going to retain 593 00:22:53,040 --> 00:22:55,974 the assistant regional manager position. 594 00:22:55,976 --> 00:22:57,342 You will be your own assistant. 595 00:22:57,344 --> 00:22:59,378 Correct, I need someone I can trust. 596 00:22:59,380 --> 00:23:01,480 But I would also like the title 597 00:23:01,482 --> 00:23:03,882 to be secretly applied to you. 598 00:23:03,884 --> 00:23:08,019 Just stripped of its pomp and frills. 599 00:23:08,021 --> 00:23:10,288 Okay. 600 00:23:10,290 --> 00:23:14,459 So you would be the regional manager 601 00:23:14,461 --> 00:23:17,396 and the assistant regional manager. 602 00:23:17,398 --> 00:23:19,464 Andy is your number two. 603 00:23:19,466 --> 00:23:23,168 I would be the secret assistant regional manager. 604 00:23:23,170 --> 00:23:24,336 Mm, let's call it secret assistant 605 00:23:24,338 --> 00:23:25,971 to the regional manager. 606 00:23:25,973 --> 00:23:27,205 Mm-hmm. 607 00:23:27,207 --> 00:23:28,673 Do you accept? 608 00:23:28,675 --> 00:23:31,443 Absolutely, I do. 609 00:23:31,445 --> 00:23:32,811 I learned from Jim, 610 00:23:32,813 --> 00:23:35,313 if Dwight ever asks you if you accept something secret, 611 00:23:35,315 --> 00:23:39,384 you reply, "Absolutely, I do." 612 00:23:43,589 --> 00:23:44,956 Hello, hello! 613 00:23:44,958 --> 00:23:46,792 Michael, good to see you. 614 00:23:46,794 --> 00:23:48,160 - Good to see you. - Have a seat. 615 00:23:48,162 --> 00:23:49,928 Here are the post-merger performance stats 616 00:23:49,930 --> 00:23:51,530 - that you asked for. - Great. 617 00:23:51,532 --> 00:23:53,198 I've been meaning to thank you, by the way. 618 00:23:53,200 --> 00:23:55,500 You didn't lose a single customer in the merger, 619 00:23:55,502 --> 00:23:57,068 and you still managed to trim the budget. 620 00:23:57,070 --> 00:23:59,971 That is nice work. 621 00:23:59,973 --> 00:24:03,408 So let me ask you a question right off the bat. 622 00:24:03,410 --> 00:24:04,876 What do you think are your greatest strengths 623 00:24:04,878 --> 00:24:06,211 as a manager? 624 00:24:06,213 --> 00:24:09,014 Why don't I tell you what my greatest weaknesses are? 625 00:24:09,016 --> 00:24:10,916 I work too hard. 626 00:24:10,918 --> 00:24:12,350 I care too much. 627 00:24:12,352 --> 00:24:16,721 And sometimes I can be too invested in my job. 628 00:24:16,723 --> 00:24:18,857 Okay. 629 00:24:18,859 --> 00:24:20,592 And your strengths? 630 00:24:20,594 --> 00:24:24,029 Well, my weaknesses are actually strengths. 631 00:24:24,031 --> 00:24:27,365 Oh! Yes. Very good. 632 00:24:27,367 --> 00:24:28,366 Thank you. 633 00:24:28,368 --> 00:24:29,367 Very good. 634 00:24:29,369 --> 00:24:30,669 Dwight is our new boss. 635 00:24:30,671 --> 00:24:32,771 Oh, Michael's not going anywhere. 636 00:24:32,773 --> 00:24:34,506 Then who do you think will get the job? 637 00:24:34,508 --> 00:24:35,941 Karen. 638 00:24:35,943 --> 00:24:38,043 She looks corporate. 639 00:24:38,045 --> 00:24:40,479 Those little pantsuits. 640 00:24:40,481 --> 00:24:41,913 I think it's gonna be Michael. 641 00:24:41,915 --> 00:24:43,782 Do you really think he's qualified for that job? 642 00:24:43,784 --> 00:24:46,518 No, but he wasn't qualified for the job he has now, 643 00:24:46,520 --> 00:24:47,752 and he got that one. 644 00:24:47,754 --> 00:24:48,753 Yeah. 645 00:24:48,755 --> 00:24:49,855 Listen up! 646 00:24:49,857 --> 00:24:52,224 Come to the center of the room, please. 647 00:24:52,226 --> 00:24:55,060 This... 648 00:24:55,062 --> 00:24:57,629 is a Schrute buck. 649 00:24:57,631 --> 00:24:59,130 When you have done something good, 650 00:24:59,132 --> 00:25:02,634 you will receive one Schrute buck. 651 00:25:02,636 --> 00:25:04,436 1,000 Schrute bucks equals 652 00:25:04,438 --> 00:25:06,972 an extra five minutes for lunch. 653 00:25:06,974 --> 00:25:10,108 What is the cash value of a Schrute buck? 654 00:25:10,110 --> 00:25:11,743 Excellent question, Pam. 655 00:25:11,745 --> 00:25:13,578 1/100th of a cent. 656 00:25:13,580 --> 00:25:17,415 So 10,000 of your dollars is worth one real dollar? 657 00:25:17,417 --> 00:25:19,084 Just zip your lid. 658 00:25:19,086 --> 00:25:21,119 Another announcement. 659 00:25:21,121 --> 00:25:23,088 Michael wasted an enormous amount 660 00:25:23,090 --> 00:25:24,389 of the group's time and patience 661 00:25:24,391 --> 00:25:26,858 with non-work-related ethnic celebrations 662 00:25:26,860 --> 00:25:29,828 and parades of soft-minded do-good-edness. 663 00:25:29,830 --> 00:25:31,363 No longer. 664 00:25:31,365 --> 00:25:33,598 No more meetings. 665 00:25:33,600 --> 00:25:34,799 Amen. 666 00:25:34,801 --> 00:25:37,736 Instead, today I will begin my first lecture 667 00:25:37,738 --> 00:25:40,105 in a long series of lectures designed to increase 668 00:25:40,107 --> 00:25:41,640 your knowledge on the world of paper. 669 00:25:41,642 --> 00:25:42,641 Do we have to? 670 00:25:42,643 --> 00:25:44,342 Yes. Michael is gone. 671 00:25:44,344 --> 00:25:47,279 There's a new sheriff here in these offices. 672 00:25:47,281 --> 00:25:49,080 And his name is me. 673 00:25:49,082 --> 00:25:51,449 Conference room, ten seconds. 674 00:25:51,451 --> 00:25:52,484 All of you! 675 00:25:52,486 --> 00:25:54,553 I literally cannot wait until I see 676 00:25:54,555 --> 00:25:56,688 what Dwight has planned. 677 00:25:56,690 --> 00:25:59,090 And I wish Jim were here. 678 00:25:59,859 --> 00:26:02,160 What do you think we could be doing better? 679 00:26:02,162 --> 00:26:04,729 I've never been a big fan of the name Dunder-Mifflin. 680 00:26:04,731 --> 00:26:06,164 I was thinking we could name the company 681 00:26:06,166 --> 00:26:09,134 something like Paper Great, 682 00:26:09,136 --> 00:26:11,036 where great paper is our passion. 683 00:26:11,038 --> 00:26:13,605 We're grrreat! 684 00:26:13,607 --> 00:26:16,508 I don't know, could be good. 685 00:26:16,510 --> 00:26:17,976 Or, uh, Super Duper Paper. 686 00:26:17,978 --> 00:26:19,578 It's super duper. 687 00:26:19,580 --> 00:26:21,446 I don't know, something like that. 688 00:26:21,448 --> 00:26:23,248 - Okay. - Okay. 689 00:26:23,250 --> 00:26:24,282 Thanks for coming in, Michael. 690 00:26:24,284 --> 00:26:25,417 Thank you. 691 00:26:25,419 --> 00:26:27,686 It is always a treat when our paths cross. 692 00:26:27,688 --> 00:26:30,422 It is always a treat when our paths cross. 693 00:26:30,424 --> 00:26:32,324 So... oh, before I forget. 694 00:26:32,326 --> 00:26:35,560 I wanted to let you know, if you hadn't already heard, 695 00:26:35,562 --> 00:26:37,762 uh, Jan and I are back together. 696 00:26:37,764 --> 00:26:39,297 So I may need to fill out 697 00:26:39,299 --> 00:26:41,366 one of those love documents again. 698 00:26:41,368 --> 00:26:42,434 You're back together. 699 00:26:42,436 --> 00:26:44,769 Yes, and I am very excited about the prospect 700 00:26:44,771 --> 00:26:45,837 of working under her. 701 00:26:45,839 --> 00:26:47,572 Or on top of her. 702 00:26:47,574 --> 00:26:50,375 Mm, that's not sexual, just we're all professionals. 703 00:26:50,377 --> 00:26:52,077 Okay, well. 704 00:26:52,079 --> 00:26:54,145 Uh, I thought it was clear in the description 705 00:26:54,147 --> 00:26:56,181 of the position. 706 00:26:56,183 --> 00:26:58,984 The job you're applying for is Jan's job. 707 00:26:58,986 --> 00:27:00,285 I don't understand. 708 00:27:00,287 --> 00:27:02,120 So we're gonna tag team it? 709 00:27:02,122 --> 00:27:04,656 No, we're letting Jan go. 710 00:27:07,126 --> 00:27:11,463 Listen up. Let's start from the ground up. 711 00:27:11,465 --> 00:27:13,598 Where does paper come from? 712 00:27:15,001 --> 00:27:16,267 Trees. 713 00:27:16,269 --> 00:27:19,604 And where do trees grow? 714 00:27:19,606 --> 00:27:21,039 - Forest. - Soil. 715 00:27:21,041 --> 00:27:22,607 Right. 716 00:27:22,609 --> 00:27:25,310 We have in front of you here, 717 00:27:25,312 --> 00:27:29,280 seven different types of Pennsylvania topsoil. 718 00:27:29,282 --> 00:27:34,819 Now, what would you say is the most important element 719 00:27:34,821 --> 00:27:38,289 in the production of aboveground leafy growth? 720 00:27:39,492 --> 00:27:41,793 Probably phosphorus, right? 721 00:27:41,795 --> 00:27:42,794 Wrong. 722 00:27:42,796 --> 00:27:44,062 It's nitrogen. 723 00:27:44,064 --> 00:27:47,265 Absorb this information. 724 00:27:48,534 --> 00:27:49,768 Good. 725 00:27:49,770 --> 00:27:51,836 Now, let us discuss precipitation. 726 00:27:51,838 --> 00:27:52,837 Stanley. 727 00:27:52,839 --> 00:27:54,439 When rainfall occurs, 728 00:27:54,441 --> 00:27:57,676 does it usually fall in a liquid, solid, 729 00:27:57,678 --> 00:27:59,044 or gaseous state? 730 00:27:59,046 --> 00:28:01,079 Liquid. 731 00:28:01,081 --> 00:28:02,380 Very good. 732 00:28:02,382 --> 00:28:05,083 You have earned one Schrute buck. 733 00:28:05,085 --> 00:28:06,951 I don't want it. 734 00:28:06,953 --> 00:28:09,387 Then you have been deducted 50 Schrute bucks. 735 00:28:09,389 --> 00:28:10,388 Make it 100. 736 00:28:10,390 --> 00:28:12,657 Well... 737 00:28:12,659 --> 00:28:14,693 Don't you wanna earn Schrute bucks? 738 00:28:14,695 --> 00:28:17,729 No... In fact, I'll give you a billion 739 00:28:17,731 --> 00:28:20,265 Stanley nickels if you never talk to me again. 740 00:28:20,267 --> 00:28:21,266 What's the ratio of Stanley nickels 741 00:28:21,268 --> 00:28:22,567 to Schrute bucks? 742 00:28:22,569 --> 00:28:25,036 The same as the ratio of unicorns to leprechauns. 743 00:28:25,038 --> 00:28:26,271 - Okay. - That's it! 744 00:28:26,273 --> 00:28:27,672 Class is cancelled, everybody out. 745 00:28:27,674 --> 00:28:28,840 What? No, wait! What are you doing? 746 00:28:28,842 --> 00:28:30,041 - I'm punishing them. - No, no, no! 747 00:28:30,043 --> 00:28:31,076 Class is not cancelled! 748 00:28:32,746 --> 00:28:33,712 Hey! Come on! 749 00:28:33,714 --> 00:28:37,315 Let's listen to Dwight's presentation. 750 00:28:39,018 --> 00:28:40,251 What... what are you winking for? 751 00:28:40,253 --> 00:28:41,286 Zip your lid! 752 00:28:41,288 --> 00:28:44,122 So that's my basic five year plan. 753 00:28:44,124 --> 00:28:46,124 And then after that, who knows? 754 00:28:46,126 --> 00:28:47,692 Okay. 755 00:28:47,694 --> 00:28:50,061 And now, this may seem like an odd question. 756 00:28:50,063 --> 00:28:51,896 Yeah? 757 00:28:51,898 --> 00:28:54,065 What do you think about Michael Scott? 758 00:28:54,067 --> 00:28:55,667 He's a very nice man. 759 00:28:55,669 --> 00:28:56,968 Mm-hmm. 760 00:28:56,970 --> 00:28:59,637 And he's very well-suited for the job he has now. 761 00:28:59,639 --> 00:29:01,072 This is off the record. 762 00:29:01,074 --> 00:29:03,074 He would be a disaster. 763 00:29:08,447 --> 00:29:09,447 Hey, you! 764 00:29:09,449 --> 00:29:11,616 Hey. 765 00:29:11,618 --> 00:29:13,418 How was your interview? 766 00:29:13,420 --> 00:29:14,753 - Pretty good. - Yeah? 767 00:29:14,755 --> 00:29:15,987 Could've gone better, I guess. 768 00:29:15,989 --> 00:29:19,257 Oh, well, I will put in a good word for you. 769 00:29:19,259 --> 00:29:22,193 Cool. Maybe you should do it sooner rather than later. 770 00:29:22,195 --> 00:29:23,495 What? 771 00:29:23,497 --> 00:29:24,529 Uh, let's just run away together. 772 00:29:24,531 --> 00:29:25,697 Let's run away to Jamaica, 773 00:29:25,699 --> 00:29:26,831 live in a bungalow. 774 00:29:26,833 --> 00:29:27,999 You have some savings, right? 775 00:29:28,001 --> 00:29:29,000 You can pay off my debts. 776 00:29:29,002 --> 00:29:30,869 It would be fine. 777 00:29:30,871 --> 00:29:32,003 We'd have fun. 778 00:29:32,005 --> 00:29:34,405 What's... what's the matter? 779 00:29:34,407 --> 00:29:36,374 W-what happened in there? 780 00:29:36,376 --> 00:29:39,677 I can't tell you. 781 00:29:39,679 --> 00:29:41,246 Tell me what? 782 00:29:47,953 --> 00:29:49,621 You son of a bitch. 783 00:29:49,623 --> 00:29:51,589 Jan, this isn't the time... 784 00:29:51,591 --> 00:29:52,791 You're firing me? 785 00:29:52,793 --> 00:29:54,592 Where the hell do you get off? 786 00:29:55,962 --> 00:29:57,762 Frankly, it's overdue. 787 00:29:57,764 --> 00:30:00,031 Your behavior in the last two years 788 00:30:00,033 --> 00:30:01,332 has been completely erratic. 789 00:30:01,334 --> 00:30:03,001 Erratic? 790 00:30:03,003 --> 00:30:04,702 Recently, you don't even show an interest in your work! 791 00:30:04,704 --> 00:30:06,671 You smoke constantly in your office. 792 00:30:06,673 --> 00:30:08,807 You spend most of the day online shopping. 793 00:30:08,809 --> 00:30:11,309 You disappear for hours at a time, sometimes days, 794 00:30:11,311 --> 00:30:13,845 always saying you're visiting your sister in Scottsdale. 795 00:30:13,847 --> 00:30:15,814 You go to Scranton far more often than you need to. 796 00:30:15,816 --> 00:30:16,948 Is it because of these? 797 00:30:16,950 --> 00:30:18,650 Whoa, hey, whoa, Jan... 798 00:30:18,652 --> 00:30:19,951 I wanna know... I wanna know! 799 00:30:19,953 --> 00:30:22,987 Because if it is, then... then I will see you in court. 800 00:30:22,989 --> 00:30:24,823 - It's not. It's not. - No. 801 00:30:24,825 --> 00:30:26,391 'Cause he likes them. Okay? 802 00:30:26,393 --> 00:30:29,227 He likes them, and that is... that is all I care about. 803 00:30:29,229 --> 00:30:30,662 The time has come for you to end 804 00:30:30,664 --> 00:30:33,097 your professional relationship with this company. 805 00:30:33,099 --> 00:30:34,966 You are clearly unstable. 806 00:30:34,968 --> 00:30:36,067 Hey, you're unstable! 807 00:30:36,069 --> 00:30:37,068 Yeah. 808 00:30:37,070 --> 00:30:40,238 No. We're all unstable. 809 00:30:40,240 --> 00:30:41,840 Okay, you know what, I'm just not leaving! 810 00:30:41,842 --> 00:30:43,741 I'm not leaving. 811 00:30:43,743 --> 00:30:45,543 Not leaving. 812 00:30:45,545 --> 00:30:47,612 David, I did not tell her. 813 00:41:55,269 --> 00:41:56,469 814 00:31:00,282 --> 00:31:02,116 It's like I'm staring into my soul 815 00:31:02,118 --> 00:31:03,318 when I look at this wall. 816 00:31:03,320 --> 00:31:06,654 It's like outer space without the stars. 817 00:31:06,656 --> 00:31:07,989 It's so black. 818 00:31:07,991 --> 00:31:10,525 This is gonna look so awesome! 819 00:31:10,527 --> 00:31:11,659 It's so intimidating. 820 00:31:11,661 --> 00:31:12,927 Anyone who comes in here 821 00:31:12,929 --> 00:31:14,696 is gonna have to take me seriously. 822 00:31:14,698 --> 00:31:17,565 Abandon all hope, ye who enter here. 823 00:31:18,235 --> 00:31:19,367 Totally. 824 00:31:30,079 --> 00:31:31,079 Bye, Hunter. 825 00:31:31,081 --> 00:31:32,080 Bye. 826 00:31:33,516 --> 00:31:35,516 Good luck with your band. 827 00:31:35,518 --> 00:31:36,517 Oh, thank... 828 00:31:36,519 --> 00:31:37,852 Don't let them change you. 829 00:31:37,854 --> 00:31:39,454 Okay? 830 00:31:59,808 --> 00:32:02,043 So long,. 831 00:32:04,246 --> 00:32:07,682 So I am gonna give her a ride home. 832 00:32:07,684 --> 00:32:09,450 Let me know about the job. 833 00:32:09,452 --> 00:32:11,219 Actually, Michael, I think we're gonna take it 834 00:32:11,221 --> 00:32:12,353 in another direction. 835 00:32:12,355 --> 00:32:14,022 Good, I'm glad we're on the same page. 836 00:32:14,024 --> 00:32:15,657 I have a lot of ideas for new directions. 837 00:32:15,659 --> 00:32:18,526 No, we're not giving you the job. 838 00:32:23,666 --> 00:32:24,699 You know what? 839 00:32:24,701 --> 00:32:27,068 That is actually good 840 00:32:27,070 --> 00:32:29,771 because, um... 841 00:32:29,773 --> 00:32:32,840 I don't think I could take my girlfriend's job. 842 00:32:32,842 --> 00:32:35,043 That's not being a good boyfriend. 843 00:32:35,045 --> 00:32:39,714 So I respectfully withdraw my name from consideration. 844 00:32:42,151 --> 00:32:43,851 Do you accept my withdrawal? 845 00:32:43,853 --> 00:32:45,653 - I do. - Good, very good. 846 00:32:45,655 --> 00:32:48,089 I am glad we are finally on the same page. 847 00:32:48,091 --> 00:32:49,991 Still have my job in Scranton though? 848 00:32:49,993 --> 00:32:51,359 Yes. Good. 849 00:32:51,361 --> 00:32:52,860 It's all I ever wanted. 850 00:32:52,862 --> 00:32:55,029 These two... 851 00:32:55,031 --> 00:32:57,098 either one of them... 852 00:32:57,100 --> 00:32:59,500 excellent candidates. 853 00:33:02,538 --> 00:33:03,938 Wow. 854 00:33:05,075 --> 00:33:09,377 That was some serious, hardcore self-destruction. 855 00:33:09,379 --> 00:33:10,645 Yeah. 856 00:33:10,647 --> 00:33:12,246 Kinda feel bad for her though. 857 00:33:12,248 --> 00:33:14,449 Don't. She's nuts. 858 00:33:16,286 --> 00:33:18,152 Oh, man. 859 00:33:19,655 --> 00:33:21,389 You know what? This might take a while. 860 00:33:21,391 --> 00:33:23,391 You really don't have to stay, if you don't want. 861 00:33:23,393 --> 00:33:25,893 Okay, good, because a bunch of my friends 862 00:33:25,895 --> 00:33:27,528 are meeting downtown for lunch, 863 00:33:27,530 --> 00:33:28,997 and I was gonna meet them. 864 00:33:28,999 --> 00:33:30,231 Okay. So... 865 00:33:30,233 --> 00:33:31,265 Just call me when you're done. 866 00:33:31,267 --> 00:33:32,900 Sure. 867 00:33:32,902 --> 00:33:40,141 - Good luck, Halpert. - Thank you. 868 00:33:40,143 --> 00:33:42,577 Dunder-Mifflin, this is Grace. 869 00:33:42,579 --> 00:33:44,779 Sure. 870 00:33:47,516 --> 00:33:48,750 Oh, God! 871 00:33:48,752 --> 00:33:50,318 I mean, I just don't understand. 872 00:33:50,320 --> 00:33:52,320 It's just so rude, you know? 873 00:33:52,322 --> 00:33:53,888 I mean, the absolute nerve of that guy! 874 00:33:53,890 --> 00:33:55,123 I am sorry about that. 875 00:33:55,125 --> 00:33:56,324 - Oh, just... - That was terrible. 876 00:33:56,326 --> 00:33:57,959 No, actually, I think it's good. 877 00:33:57,961 --> 00:33:59,327 You know, it's fine actually. 878 00:33:59,329 --> 00:34:00,495 I-I do. 879 00:34:00,497 --> 00:34:02,363 I really think it's great that it happened, 880 00:34:02,365 --> 00:34:04,132 because, you know, my work has always been 881 00:34:04,134 --> 00:34:05,133 the thing that's gotten in the way 882 00:34:05,135 --> 00:34:06,134 of my happiness, so... 883 00:34:06,136 --> 00:34:07,135 Mm-hmm, yeah. 884 00:34:08,138 --> 00:34:10,405 Well, it's... 885 00:34:16,346 --> 00:34:18,379 No, don't cry. 886 00:34:18,381 --> 00:34:19,380 It's gonna be okay. 887 00:34:19,382 --> 00:34:21,682 Oh, I know, I know. 888 00:34:21,684 --> 00:34:23,284 It's just... I'm sorry. 889 00:34:23,286 --> 00:34:25,353 It's just these painkillers that I started taking 890 00:34:25,355 --> 00:34:27,188 since the surgery. 891 00:34:27,190 --> 00:34:31,292 Oh, they make my moods totally unpredictable. 892 00:34:31,294 --> 00:34:32,693 Wow. 893 00:34:32,695 --> 00:34:35,229 What am I gonna do? 894 00:34:38,033 --> 00:34:42,804 Well, I guess you could come and stay at my condo. 895 00:34:42,806 --> 00:34:44,972 I think I could back out of the sale. 896 00:34:44,974 --> 00:34:46,974 Probably get some negative feedback 897 00:34:46,976 --> 00:34:48,276 on my eBay profile. 898 00:34:48,278 --> 00:34:49,277 Live together... 899 00:34:49,279 --> 00:34:50,278 Actually, wait a minute. 900 00:34:50,280 --> 00:34:51,279 This could be great. 901 00:34:51,281 --> 00:34:52,613 This could be perfect. 902 00:34:52,615 --> 00:34:54,749 You know, my full-time job could be our relationship. 903 00:34:54,751 --> 00:34:55,983 I could wear stretch pants and wait for you 904 00:34:55,985 --> 00:34:57,285 to come home at 5:15. 905 00:34:57,287 --> 00:34:58,419 It could work, this could work! 906 00:34:58,421 --> 00:35:00,254 Really. 907 00:35:10,132 --> 00:35:11,933 I'll be back. 908 00:35:11,935 --> 00:35:15,470 And I am back. 909 00:35:15,472 --> 00:35:16,671 How'd it go? 910 00:35:16,673 --> 00:35:18,439 No. No, Pam. 911 00:35:18,441 --> 00:35:20,908 I'm back. 912 00:35:20,910 --> 00:35:23,478 For good. 913 00:35:23,480 --> 00:35:24,912 Kevin Nealon. 914 00:35:24,914 --> 00:35:27,381 Everybody, may I have your attention please? 915 00:35:27,383 --> 00:35:31,352 It is with great honor and privilege 916 00:35:31,354 --> 00:35:34,155 that I announce to you, I have officially withdrawn 917 00:35:34,157 --> 00:35:37,024 my name for consideration from the corporate job. 918 00:35:37,026 --> 00:35:39,727 I know, I know, I know. 919 00:35:39,729 --> 00:35:41,229 "Michael, what are you thinking? 920 00:35:41,231 --> 00:35:42,230 You were a shoo-in." 921 00:35:42,232 --> 00:35:44,232 Well, got down there. 922 00:35:44,234 --> 00:35:46,033 I nailed the interview. 923 00:35:46,035 --> 00:35:48,736 And the strangest thing happened. 924 00:35:48,738 --> 00:35:51,539 Why is my office black? 925 00:35:51,541 --> 00:35:53,875 To intimidate my subordinates. 926 00:35:53,877 --> 00:35:55,543 That's stupid. 927 00:35:55,545 --> 00:35:56,944 It was Andy's idea. 928 00:35:56,946 --> 00:35:58,513 You shouldn't have taken it. 929 00:35:58,515 --> 00:36:00,581 Bad management. 930 00:36:00,583 --> 00:36:03,818 Good thing I'm back. 931 00:36:03,820 --> 00:36:05,853 Ryan, coffee. 932 00:36:05,855 --> 00:36:07,555 I don't do that stuff anymore. 933 00:36:07,557 --> 00:36:10,124 No, it's for me, bimbo. 934 00:36:10,126 --> 00:36:11,225 Kids. 935 00:36:11,227 --> 00:36:13,227 So I'm back. 936 00:36:13,229 --> 00:36:20,268 And I am never, ever going to leave. 937 00:36:20,270 --> 00:36:23,838 I am going nowhere. 938 00:36:23,840 --> 00:36:27,375 This place is like... 939 00:36:27,377 --> 00:36:30,645 the hospital where I was born, 940 00:36:30,647 --> 00:36:33,314 my house, 941 00:36:33,316 --> 00:36:37,485 my old age home, 942 00:36:37,487 --> 00:36:39,654 and my graveyard... 943 00:36:39,656 --> 00:36:42,190 for my bones. 944 00:36:42,192 --> 00:36:44,692 Did Karen get the job? 945 00:36:47,095 --> 00:36:48,696 Back to work. 946 00:36:48,698 --> 00:36:50,264 Still waiting on that coffee. 947 00:37:04,546 --> 00:37:05,880 Pam, hello. 948 00:37:05,882 --> 00:37:06,981 Dwight, hello. 949 00:37:06,983 --> 00:37:08,883 I wanted to thank you. 950 00:37:10,319 --> 00:37:12,420 For helping me... 951 00:37:12,422 --> 00:37:14,021 when you held the title 952 00:37:14,023 --> 00:37:17,191 of secret assistant to the regional manager. 953 00:37:19,261 --> 00:37:23,397 You served the office with great dignity. 954 00:37:31,173 --> 00:37:33,574 No, I don't know what the future holds, 955 00:37:33,576 --> 00:37:36,477 but I'm optimistic. 956 00:37:36,479 --> 00:37:40,047 And, uh, I had fun goofing around with Dwight today. 957 00:37:41,984 --> 00:37:45,720 Jim and I are just too similar. 958 00:37:47,155 --> 00:37:50,825 Maybe one day I'll find my own Karen. 959 00:37:50,827 --> 00:37:53,294 But... you... that is a, um... 960 00:37:53,296 --> 00:37:54,929 You know, not... 961 00:37:54,931 --> 00:37:56,297 A man. 962 00:37:56,299 --> 00:37:57,865 A man version. 963 00:37:57,867 --> 00:38:01,869 But, uh, until then... 964 00:38:01,871 --> 00:38:04,672 I can hold my head up. 965 00:38:04,674 --> 00:38:06,741 I'm not gay. 966 00:38:06,743 --> 00:38:09,910 I don't know how I feel about hiring a Sixers fan. 967 00:38:09,912 --> 00:38:11,445 I should leave. 968 00:38:12,382 --> 00:38:13,547 Now, let me ask you a question, Jim. 969 00:38:13,549 --> 00:38:15,149 You're clearly a very bright guy. 970 00:38:15,151 --> 00:38:16,350 - Thanks. - Always hit your numbers. 971 00:38:16,352 --> 00:38:18,452 Personable, you make a great impression 972 00:38:18,454 --> 00:38:19,787 - on everyone you meet. - I'm sorry, wait. 973 00:38:19,789 --> 00:38:22,023 So is the question how'd I get to be so awesome? 974 00:38:23,626 --> 00:38:24,759 Because I don't have an answer for you. 975 00:38:24,761 --> 00:38:27,528 Oh, uh, hey, do you have your quarterly numbers? 976 00:38:27,530 --> 00:38:28,696 Yes, absolutely. 977 00:38:28,698 --> 00:38:29,797 And that, uh, questionnaire? 978 00:38:29,799 --> 00:38:31,032 Sorry to make you fill that thing out. 979 00:38:31,034 --> 00:38:33,100 - Oh, no, absolutely. - Stupid HR formality. 980 00:38:33,102 --> 00:38:36,070 We have this very irritating HR guy here. 981 00:38:36,072 --> 00:38:37,471 He's probably the only person you're not gonna like. 982 00:38:37,473 --> 00:38:41,242 Kendall. Ugh. 983 00:38:41,244 --> 00:38:43,577 So first up. 984 00:38:43,579 --> 00:38:44,612 There you go. 985 00:38:44,614 --> 00:38:45,613 How do you think you'd function 986 00:38:45,615 --> 00:38:47,214 here in New York? 987 00:38:47,216 --> 00:38:49,350 What's that? 988 00:38:49,352 --> 00:38:51,118 Oh, uh, great. You know? 989 00:38:51,120 --> 00:38:53,788 I just, um, I really appreciate the buildings, 990 00:38:53,790 --> 00:38:56,190 and, uh, the people. 991 00:38:56,192 --> 00:38:59,694 And, um, there's just an energy that New York has. 992 00:38:59,696 --> 00:39:00,961 - Mm-hmm. - Uh... 993 00:39:00,963 --> 00:39:03,631 Not to mention, they have places that are open past 8:00. 994 00:39:03,633 --> 00:39:05,366 So that's a bonus. 995 00:39:05,368 --> 00:39:06,500 You've been in the Scranton branch 996 00:39:06,502 --> 00:39:07,802 a long time. 997 00:39:07,804 --> 00:39:11,305 What have you liked most about that place? 998 00:39:13,809 --> 00:39:15,543 The friendships. 999 00:39:15,545 --> 00:39:16,911 Okay. 1000 00:39:16,913 --> 00:39:19,447 Well, we want the person who takes this position 1001 00:39:19,449 --> 00:39:21,582 to be here for the long haul. 1002 00:39:21,584 --> 00:39:24,285 So... long haul. 1003 00:39:24,287 --> 00:39:26,153 Where do you see yourself in ten years? 1004 00:39:35,964 --> 00:39:37,665 How are your feet? 1005 00:39:37,667 --> 00:39:39,233 Medium rare. 1006 00:39:39,235 --> 00:39:40,935 Thanks. 1007 00:39:43,338 --> 00:39:45,072 The real reason that I went to Stamford 1008 00:39:45,074 --> 00:39:49,410 was because I wanted to be... 1009 00:39:49,412 --> 00:39:52,847 not here. 1010 00:39:52,849 --> 00:39:55,449 I know. 1011 00:39:55,451 --> 00:40:00,321 And even though I came back, 1012 00:40:00,323 --> 00:40:02,423 I just feel like 1013 00:40:02,425 --> 00:40:06,627 I've never really come back. 1014 00:40:13,702 --> 00:40:15,936 Well, I wish you would. 1015 00:40:23,513 --> 00:40:26,614 Dunder-Mifflin, this is Pam. 1016 00:40:26,616 --> 00:40:28,682 Just one moment, I'll transfer you. 1017 00:40:28,684 --> 00:40:30,317 I haven't heard anything. 1018 00:40:30,319 --> 00:40:32,586 But I bet Jim got the job. 1019 00:40:32,588 --> 00:40:33,888 I mean, why wouldn't he? 1020 00:40:33,890 --> 00:40:36,323 He's totally qualified and smart. 1021 00:40:36,325 --> 00:40:38,592 Everyone loves him. 1022 00:40:38,594 --> 00:40:42,530 And if he never comes back again, 1023 00:40:42,532 --> 00:40:44,865 that's okay. 1024 00:40:44,867 --> 00:40:47,168 We're friends. 1025 00:40:47,170 --> 00:40:49,937 And I'm sure we'll stay friends. 1026 00:40:49,939 --> 00:40:52,673 We just... we never got the timing right. 1027 00:40:52,675 --> 00:40:54,108 You know? 1028 00:40:54,110 --> 00:40:58,612 I shot him down, and then he did the same to me, and... 1029 00:40:58,614 --> 00:40:59,613 But you know what? 1030 00:40:59,615 --> 00:41:01,215 It's okay. 1031 00:41:01,217 --> 00:41:03,417 I am totally fine. 1032 00:41:03,419 --> 00:41:04,885 Everything is gonna be totally... 1033 00:41:04,887 --> 00:41:06,487 Pam. Sorry. 1034 00:41:06,489 --> 00:41:10,491 Um, are you free for dinner tonight? 1035 00:41:10,493 --> 00:41:11,926 Yes. 1036 00:41:11,928 --> 00:41:13,194 All right. 1037 00:41:13,196 --> 00:41:16,797 Then it's a date. 1038 00:41:23,004 --> 00:41:25,072 I'm sorry, what was the question? 1039 00:41:25,507 --> 00:41:29,043 So I know we left the other day on a note of uncertainty, 1040 00:41:29,045 --> 00:41:30,744 but after some more thought, 1041 00:41:30,746 --> 00:41:33,714 I'm very pleased to be able to offer you this job. 1042 00:41:33,716 --> 00:41:35,816 Great. 1043 00:41:35,818 --> 00:41:37,551 I'm so glad. 1044 00:41:37,553 --> 00:41:39,553 We're all very excited you're gonna be joining us. 1045 00:41:39,555 --> 00:41:41,522 It'll be nice to have another MBA around here. 1046 00:41:41,524 --> 00:41:44,191 I'm excited too. 1047 00:41:44,193 --> 00:41:45,893 Okay. 1048 00:41:45,895 --> 00:41:48,562 Bye. 1049 00:41:48,564 --> 00:41:49,563 Who was that? 1050 00:41:49,565 --> 00:41:51,732 Nobody. 1051 00:41:51,734 --> 00:41:53,200 You and I are done. 1052 00:41:53,202 --> 00:41:55,269 What?!