1
00:00:01,383 --> 00:00:03,374
(CELL PHONE RINGING)

2
00:00:06,988 --> 00:00:09,047
Hello, this is Dwight Schrute.

3
00:00:09,124 --> 00:00:10,113
Hello?

4
00:00:10,191 --> 00:00:11,852
Hello. This is Dwight.

5
00:00:11,926 --> 00:00:13,689
Hello? Hello?
Yes!

6
00:00:13,762 --> 00:00:15,457
We do have that.
Hold on one second.

7
00:00:15,530 --> 00:00:16,554
Jim, what are you doing?

8
00:00:16,631 --> 00:00:17,962
And how many would you like?

9
00:00:18,033 --> 00:00:19,125
Hang that up right now.

10
00:00:19,200 --> 00:00:21,191
Absolutely.
I can get that out to
you immediately.

11
00:00:21,269 --> 00:00:22,531
This man is an imposter.

12
00:00:22,604 --> 00:00:24,538
Do not do business with him.
This is not Dwight Schrute.

13
00:00:24,672 --> 00:00:29,632
Dwight left his cell phone
on his desk, so, naturally,
I paired it to my headset.

14
00:00:29,811 --> 00:00:31,904
(CELL PHONE RINGING)

15
00:00:31,980 --> 00:00:34,608
Okay, fine, I'll just let
it go to voicemail.

16
00:00:37,018 --> 00:00:38,952
Hello, this is Dwight.
Hey, is this Dwight?

17
00:00:39,020 --> 00:00:40,009
Yes, it is.

18
00:00:40,088 --> 00:00:41,578
Oh, my goodness,
you sound sexy.

19
00:00:41,656 --> 00:00:43,146
Oh, thank you.
I've been working out.

20
00:00:43,224 --> 00:00:45,818
Whoa, whoa, whoa! Pam! Pam!
You are not talking
to Dwight right now!

21
00:00:45,894 --> 00:00:47,919
You are talking to Jim.
Dwight?

22
00:00:47,996 --> 00:00:50,624
No! Pam, I'm over here!

23
00:00:50,698 --> 00:00:51,858
I'm confused.

24
00:00:51,933 --> 00:00:53,662
Disconnect that right now.

25
00:00:53,735 --> 00:00:54,827
You give me
your earpiece.

26
00:00:54,903 --> 00:00:57,030
Can't do that.
Unsanitary.

27
00:00:58,039 --> 00:00:59,028
(DWIGHT GROANS)

28
00:00:59,140 --> 00:01:00,334
Okay, you know what?
F'ine.

29
00:01:00,408 --> 00:01:03,969
I will reprogram my phone
to go to my office phone.

30
00:01:07,015 --> 00:01:08,141
Done.

31
00:01:08,950 --> 00:01:10,110
(TELEPHONE RINGING)

32
00:01:11,486 --> 00:01:12,475
This is Dwight.

33
00:01:12,854 --> 00:01:15,687
Oh, and I forwarded his
desk phone to mine.

34
00:01:16,891 --> 00:01:19,485
Oh, hello, Mother.
Good news, I have married.

35
00:01:19,561 --> 00:01:20,892
Tell F'ather.

36
00:01:22,030 --> 00:01:23,190
Such a nice woman.

37
00:01:27,502 --> 00:01:28,491
(CELL PHONE RINGING)

38
00:01:28,570 --> 00:01:29,764
(DWIGHT EXCLAIMS ANGRILY)

39
00:01:51,459 --> 00:01:55,725
MICHAEL: Today is
Toby Flenderson's last day.

40
00:01:56,297 --> 00:01:59,698
I couldn't sleep last night.
I came in extra early.

41
00:01:59,767 --> 00:02:00,995
So much energy.

42
00:02:01,069 --> 00:02:04,334
There are certain days that
you know you will remember
for the rest of your life,

43
00:02:04,405 --> 00:02:08,273
and I just have
a feeling that today
is one of those days.

44
00:02:08,977 --> 00:02:10,672
Morning.
Morning.

45
00:02:11,212 --> 00:02:13,476
So here we go.
Just a matter of hours now

46
00:02:13,548 --> 00:02:15,948
until his horrible-ness
has left the building.

47
00:02:16,351 --> 00:02:18,683
I'm going to set
my watch alarm,

48
00:02:19,354 --> 00:02:20,548
and...

49
00:02:20,788 --> 00:02:21,777
(BEEPS)

50
00:02:22,790 --> 00:02:24,849
Good morning, Kelly.

51
00:02:24,926 --> 00:02:27,759
I can't believe this is your
last day. How do you feel?

52
00:02:27,829 --> 00:02:29,592
F'ine. Good.

53
00:02:29,664 --> 00:02:30,722
I feel weird.

54
00:02:31,332 --> 00:02:34,563
F'irst thing on the agenda,
actually, the only thing
on the agenda,

55
00:02:34,636 --> 00:02:36,627
is the status of Toby's
going-away party.

56
00:02:36,704 --> 00:02:38,638
We have a butter-cream cake

57
00:02:38,706 --> 00:02:40,367
and a slide show of Toby.
Okay.

58
00:02:40,441 --> 00:02:43,103
But so far we only have
two pictures of him.

59
00:02:43,178 --> 00:02:45,203
MICHAEL: Okay.
Well, this will not do.

60
00:02:45,280 --> 00:02:48,807
Toby is going away forever,

61
00:02:48,883 --> 00:02:51,579
and we need to do something
very, very special.

62
00:02:51,653 --> 00:02:53,348
In some cultures,
when somebody leaves,

63
00:02:53,421 --> 00:02:55,912
like New Orleans' culture,
they have a parade,

64
00:02:55,990 --> 00:02:58,788
and they have a band,
and people party
in the streets.

65
00:02:58,860 --> 00:03:00,953
Do you mean leaves
as in dies?

66
00:03:01,029 --> 00:03:03,520
You want us to throw Toby
a New Orleans funeral?

67
00:03:03,598 --> 00:03:08,467
If the devil were to explode,
and evil were gone forever,

68
00:03:08,536 --> 00:03:10,902
what sort of party
would you have?

69
00:03:10,972 --> 00:03:12,030
Michael...

70
00:03:12,106 --> 00:03:13,368
Like a beach blowout,

71
00:03:13,441 --> 00:03:15,033
or a toga, a toga.
No, you know, no.

72
00:03:15,109 --> 00:03:17,077
Toga!
You always do this.

73
00:03:17,145 --> 00:03:21,241
We have a nice, modest party
planned, and then you come
in and demand the world.

74
00:03:21,316 --> 00:03:25,184
Let me be clear, there is
simply no money for
anything other than a cake

75
00:03:25,253 --> 00:03:27,380
and to develop
a few more slides,

76
00:03:27,455 --> 00:03:30,219
although Toby
won't be in them.

77
00:03:30,291 --> 00:03:32,418
I thought that you
might say that.

78
00:03:34,696 --> 00:03:36,755
(HUMMING)

79
00:03:37,966 --> 00:03:44,701
Every year, my sweet, sweet
grandmother sends me a check
on my birthday for $50.

80
00:03:44,772 --> 00:03:49,971
And lately, she has been
sending me, like,
nine or ten checks a year.

81
00:03:51,246 --> 00:03:54,113
As Nana starts to...

82
00:03:54,182 --> 00:03:56,946
But I knew I should be
saving it for something.

83
00:03:57,018 --> 00:03:59,885
I just didn't know what
I should be saving it for.

84
00:03:59,954 --> 00:04:01,717
And then I had an awakening.

85
00:04:01,789 --> 00:04:04,257
Michael, my motorcycle.

86
00:04:04,993 --> 00:04:08,156
So I put the money in my
shoe, and then
I forgot about it until now.

87
00:04:09,364 --> 00:04:12,891
I want a party that makes
me feel like I'm flying
through the air,

88
00:04:12,967 --> 00:04:18,030
without this ugly weight
holding me down, you know?

89
00:04:19,774 --> 00:04:23,210
I want an
anti-gravity machine.
I saw it in a movie.

90
00:04:23,278 --> 00:04:26,270
You drink a potion,
and then you just start
floating all around.

91
00:04:26,347 --> 00:04:27,939
So how much anti-gravity
potion do you want?

92
00:04:28,016 --> 00:04:31,144
No. No, you know what?
This is not a Party Planning
Committee anymore.

93
00:04:31,219 --> 00:04:35,178
And I don't want your foot
money, and I feel
uncomfortable participating.

94
00:04:36,357 --> 00:04:39,019
Phyllis, can you do this?

95
00:04:42,530 --> 00:04:43,724
Yes.

96
00:04:50,171 --> 00:04:51,195
Hi. Can I help you?

97
00:04:51,272 --> 00:04:52,899
Hi. Yes. I'm Holly F'lax.

98
00:04:52,974 --> 00:04:54,635
I was told to ask
for Mr. F'lenderson.

99
00:04:55,009 --> 00:04:56,943
As part of my last day,
I am training

100
00:04:57,145 --> 00:05:00,273
the new human resources rep
in the ways of the company.

101
00:05:01,249 --> 00:05:05,151
Again, the company
has allotted for
this training one day.

102
00:05:06,054 --> 00:05:08,852
So this is HR.
This is your desk.

103
00:05:08,923 --> 00:05:10,220
I love the view.

104
00:05:10,291 --> 00:05:12,259
Yeah. It's great. Isn't it?

105
00:05:22,036 --> 00:05:23,401
Hey.

106
00:05:23,471 --> 00:05:24,495
Hey.

107
00:05:30,878 --> 00:05:32,004
What?

108
00:05:32,513 --> 00:05:34,504
Guess who just got into
the Pratt School of Design.

109
00:05:34,582 --> 00:05:36,072
No way!

110
00:05:36,150 --> 00:05:38,550
What did I say?
I said that they'd love
those sketches!

111
00:05:38,619 --> 00:05:40,416
Congratulations!
Oh, thank you.

112
00:05:40,488 --> 00:05:42,922
I don't know why I
doubted it, because
I'm so clearly awesome.

113
00:05:42,990 --> 00:05:45,151
Yes. So,
when do you start?

114
00:05:45,226 --> 00:05:46,454
I don't know.
I didn't read it carefully.

115
00:05:46,527 --> 00:05:49,291
I just saw "Congratulations,"
and I skimmed the list,
I saw my name,

116
00:05:49,364 --> 00:05:51,457
I came in here to tell
you and get a snack.

117
00:05:51,532 --> 00:05:53,193
Wow. Busy morning.
(SIGHS)

118
00:05:54,736 --> 00:05:59,196
So, you know, it means
I have to go to New York
for three months.

119
00:05:59,807 --> 00:06:03,038
It's not a big deal.
I'll come visit you,
and you'll visit me.

120
00:06:03,111 --> 00:06:05,306
It's only two hours
away. It'll be fine.

121
00:06:05,380 --> 00:06:06,972
That part's going to suck,
but it'll be great.

122
00:06:07,048 --> 00:06:08,913
Yeah. It sucks,
but it'll be great.

123
00:06:08,983 --> 00:06:10,610
See how easy that is?

124
00:06:11,719 --> 00:06:12,845
(PAM LAUGHS)

125
00:06:13,187 --> 00:06:15,815
I wouldn't go
if things weren't
so solid with Jim.

126
00:06:15,890 --> 00:06:17,414
And down the road,
if we have a family,

127
00:06:17,492 --> 00:06:21,588
I couldn't go then either,
so the timing's perfect.

128
00:06:22,997 --> 00:06:26,797
And that is the first time
I've ever used
the word perfect in here.

129
00:06:27,802 --> 00:06:28,894
Hey, Stanley,
I want to introduce you...

130
00:06:28,970 --> 00:06:30,267
MICHAEL: Real good.

131
00:06:30,338 --> 00:06:32,135
Toby's replacement.
(DWIGHT GROWLS)

132
00:06:33,107 --> 00:06:34,165
Wow.

133
00:06:34,509 --> 00:06:36,033
DWIGHT: So what do we
know about her?

134
00:06:36,110 --> 00:06:40,069
Well, we know that Toby
thinks she'll be great.

135
00:06:40,381 --> 00:06:42,315
Now, strike one.
I hate her already.

136
00:06:42,383 --> 00:06:43,645
I hate her, too.

137
00:06:44,118 --> 00:06:45,608
Why do you hate her?

138
00:06:46,387 --> 00:06:49,185
Because she stinks

139
00:06:49,257 --> 00:06:53,751
with her ways and her head.

140
00:06:56,364 --> 00:06:58,127
You know, Dwight, sometimes,

141
00:06:59,267 --> 00:07:02,327
I don't know,
I think you say things
just to agree with me.

142
00:07:02,403 --> 00:07:03,631
Would that be
such a bad thing?

143
00:07:03,704 --> 00:07:05,331
Yeah, it would.
Just have a thought.

144
00:07:05,406 --> 00:07:07,374
Have an original thought.

145
00:07:08,543 --> 00:07:11,410
Although, I will agree
that her head is weird.

146
00:07:12,280 --> 00:07:13,474
You know what we need to do?

147
00:07:13,548 --> 00:07:14,572
(WHISPERS) What?

148
00:07:14,649 --> 00:07:16,378
We need to sell her
an elevator pass.

149
00:07:16,451 --> 00:07:19,147
But our elevator
doesn't require a...

150
00:07:19,220 --> 00:07:21,882
Exactly. Little
old-fashioned hazing.

151
00:07:22,690 --> 00:07:27,650
Hi. Are there any local
companies that rent
anti-gravity machines?

152
00:07:27,728 --> 00:07:29,286
WOMAN: Anti-gravity machines?

153
00:07:29,363 --> 00:07:30,387
That's right. Yeah.

154
00:07:30,465 --> 00:07:32,433
What do they do exactly?

155
00:07:32,600 --> 00:07:34,727
They make you feel lighter.

156
00:07:35,102 --> 00:07:36,535
Anti-gravity...

157
00:07:36,804 --> 00:07:37,793
Um...

158
00:07:37,972 --> 00:07:42,409
Anti-depressant?
I could put you through
to someone on that.

159
00:07:42,477 --> 00:07:43,501
Okay.

160
00:07:43,578 --> 00:07:44,977
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)
Yeah?

161
00:07:45,046 --> 00:07:46,308
Hey, Michael?

162
00:07:46,380 --> 00:07:48,041
Oh, hey, do you
still work here?

163
00:07:48,115 --> 00:07:50,413
I'd like to introduce you
to my replacement.
Nah.

164
00:07:50,485 --> 00:07:52,077
Come on.
No, I think I will pass.

165
00:07:52,153 --> 00:07:53,745
Michael Scott, this is Holly.

166
00:07:53,821 --> 00:07:55,288
Hi.
Hi. Yeah, right.

167
00:07:55,356 --> 00:07:58,416
Okay, well, they hired
a female Toby.
Good for the world.

168
00:07:58,493 --> 00:08:02,122
Thank you, God,
for creating two of you.

169
00:08:02,196 --> 00:08:05,791
Here's how things work
here. My job is to
make the office fun.

170
00:08:05,867 --> 00:08:11,897
Your job is to make the
office lame, and we have an
eternal struggle, you and I,

171
00:08:11,973 --> 00:08:13,907
and only one of us
can be the winner.

172
00:08:13,975 --> 00:08:16,273
Spoiler alert,
I'm going to win.

173
00:08:17,645 --> 00:08:20,341
Man, someone
doesn't like HR.

174
00:08:20,414 --> 00:08:21,438
Yeah.

175
00:08:22,083 --> 00:08:23,072
What did you do to him?

176
00:08:23,150 --> 00:08:24,310
Nothing.

177
00:08:24,385 --> 00:08:27,786
No, he tortured me
with his awfulness.

178
00:08:28,689 --> 00:08:29,986
Yeah, I know
what you mean.

179
00:08:30,057 --> 00:08:33,220
I nearly fell asleep
when he gave me
a tour of the files.

180
00:08:35,563 --> 00:08:37,554
Well, look, I'll let
you get back to work,

181
00:08:37,632 --> 00:08:40,726
but I really look
forward to working
with you, Mr. Scott.

182
00:08:40,801 --> 00:08:43,031
You can... Michael.

183
00:08:46,140 --> 00:08:49,974
MICHAEL: Thanks to Toby,
I have a very strong prejudice
against human resources.

184
00:08:50,044 --> 00:08:53,571
I believe that the
department is a breeding
ground for monsters.

185
00:08:53,915 --> 00:08:57,874
What I failed to consider,
though, is that
not all monsters are bad.

186
00:08:58,686 --> 00:09:00,449
Like E.T.

187
00:09:01,322 --> 00:09:05,520
Is Holly our
extraterrestrial? Maybe.

188
00:09:06,794 --> 00:09:09,922
Or maybe she's just an awesome
woman from this planet.

189
00:09:12,333 --> 00:09:13,425
The pleasure's all mine.

190
00:09:13,501 --> 00:09:14,593
Thanks.

191
00:09:14,669 --> 00:09:16,603
I'm really looking forward
to sitting down with you

192
00:09:16,671 --> 00:09:18,536
and finding out more
about what you do here.

193
00:09:18,606 --> 00:09:19,595
Any time.

194
00:09:19,674 --> 00:09:20,868
Yeah. What do you do here?

195
00:09:24,812 --> 00:09:26,074
Excuse me.

196
00:09:26,347 --> 00:09:28,611
What is wrong with this woman?

197
00:09:28,683 --> 00:09:31,413
She's asking about stuff
that's nobody's business.

198
00:09:31,485 --> 00:09:32,679
What do I do?

199
00:09:34,422 --> 00:09:37,585
Really, what do I do here?
I should have written it down.

200
00:09:37,892 --> 00:09:39,553
Qua-something.

201
00:09:40,494 --> 00:09:45,761
Qua... Quar...
Qua... Qual... Quar...

202
00:09:45,866 --> 00:09:48,198
Quabity. Quabity assuance.

203
00:09:48,869 --> 00:09:50,769
No, no, no, no,
but I'm getting close.

204
00:09:51,072 --> 00:09:53,040
Have you been
introduced to Kevin?

205
00:09:53,107 --> 00:09:54,631
No. Which one's Kevin?

206
00:09:57,511 --> 00:09:58,500
(SNICKERING)

207
00:10:00,348 --> 00:10:04,614
He's here on a special
work program. He's slow,
you know, in his brain.

208
00:10:04,685 --> 00:10:06,778
Oh, good for you guys.
Yeah.

209
00:10:07,054 --> 00:10:11,457
Hazing is a fun way to show
a new employee that she
is not welcome or liked.

210
00:10:12,560 --> 00:10:15,529
Accounting department,
listen up.
Holly, human resources.

211
00:10:15,596 --> 00:10:17,325
Angela, Oscar and Kevin.

212
00:10:17,398 --> 00:10:18,865
Hello. Hello.

213
00:10:19,834 --> 00:10:21,563
Hi.
Hi.

214
00:10:22,203 --> 00:10:23,534
What do you do?

215
00:10:23,604 --> 00:10:24,764
I do the numbers.

216
00:10:25,272 --> 00:10:27,172
Oh, good for you.

217
00:10:29,477 --> 00:10:31,468
Do you want an M&M?

218
00:10:31,746 --> 00:10:34,214
Oh, no. That is so sweet.
Thank you, though.

219
00:10:34,281 --> 00:10:39,344
Yeah. I keep them here
at my desk, so that everybody
doesn't take them.

220
00:10:39,420 --> 00:10:42,048
Well, that is a very
safe place for them.

221
00:10:43,958 --> 00:10:44,947
Yeah.

222
00:10:45,026 --> 00:10:46,357
MICHAEL: Here she is, Holly.

223
00:10:47,495 --> 00:10:51,022
You know, if we hung
Holly from the ceiling,

224
00:10:51,098 --> 00:10:53,191
we'd have to kiss
underneath her.

225
00:10:53,701 --> 00:10:56,033
So, I know. Oh, sorry.

226
00:10:56,103 --> 00:11:00,199
Question, are you real,
or are you a Holly-gram?

227
00:11:00,274 --> 00:11:03,300
(LAUGHING SARCASTICALLY)

228
00:11:03,377 --> 00:11:05,277
Nice. I've never heard
that one before, actually.

229
00:11:05,346 --> 00:11:06,745
That's good.
I bet.

230
00:11:06,814 --> 00:11:09,442
Are these guys
boring your ears off?

231
00:11:09,517 --> 00:11:10,916
Oh, no, no, I...

232
00:11:11,852 --> 00:11:14,582
What is your commute like?
How long does
it take to get in?

233
00:11:14,655 --> 00:11:17,624
Oh, uh...
You know, I should
make you a mix.

234
00:11:19,627 --> 00:11:21,754
Do you have a CD player?

235
00:11:22,163 --> 00:11:24,131
Um... Yeah. Okay.

236
00:11:24,198 --> 00:11:25,290
All right.
Thanks.

237
00:11:25,366 --> 00:11:26,663
Yep.
Great.

238
00:11:26,767 --> 00:11:28,257
Do you like it?

239
00:11:28,335 --> 00:11:31,827
It's a photo of everyone
in the office, so you
can take it to Costa Rica.

240
00:11:31,906 --> 00:11:32,964
You're not in it.

241
00:11:33,040 --> 00:11:34,769
Well, I was taking
the picture.

242
00:11:36,010 --> 00:11:37,807
I love it. I love it.

243
00:11:39,714 --> 00:11:45,016
I would love a picture
of the two of us to
also take to Costa Rica.

244
00:11:45,352 --> 00:11:47,377
Sure. Do you have
a camera here?

245
00:11:48,556 --> 00:11:49,545
Uh...

246
00:11:49,790 --> 00:11:51,985
Does anyone have
a camera here?

247
00:11:54,595 --> 00:11:56,324
No one has a camera here.

248
00:11:57,298 --> 00:11:58,731
Okay.

249
00:11:58,799 --> 00:12:00,232
I'm going...
I'll go get one. I'll just...

250
00:12:05,673 --> 00:12:09,609
So I just got the fax.
Closing the sale,
and it's big.

251
00:12:09,710 --> 00:12:10,836
It is really big.

252
00:12:10,911 --> 00:12:11,935
RYAN: Congratulations.

253
00:12:12,012 --> 00:12:13,445
Thanks...
Don't interrupt.

254
00:12:13,514 --> 00:12:16,642
Congratulations on doing
your job. Did you enter
the sale on the Web site?

255
00:12:16,717 --> 00:12:18,207
Nope, I didn't.
I just logged it in...

256
00:12:18,285 --> 00:12:20,378
All right, try to be
a team player here, Jim.

257
00:12:20,454 --> 00:12:21,785
Log it in the Web site.

258
00:12:21,856 --> 00:12:23,187
All right, well, it already
went through, so...

259
00:12:23,257 --> 00:12:25,282
Don't worry about that.
Just re-log it.

260
00:12:25,392 --> 00:12:27,019
(DIAL TONE DRONES)
Hello?

261
00:12:33,167 --> 00:12:34,498
Hmm...

262
00:12:34,568 --> 00:12:35,660
Jim?

263
00:12:40,608 --> 00:12:43,668
I am downloading some N3P...

264
00:12:44,078 --> 00:12:45,238
That's not it.
...music...

265
00:12:45,312 --> 00:12:47,746
Yep.
...for a CD mix tape...

266
00:12:47,815 --> 00:12:49,112
Close.
...for Holly.

267
00:12:49,183 --> 00:12:53,017
And I'm looking
for perfect songs
that work on two levels.

268
00:12:53,087 --> 00:12:54,247
What are the two levels?

269
00:12:54,321 --> 00:12:56,949
The two levels being,
welcome to Scranton,

270
00:12:57,024 --> 00:12:59,254
and I love you.

271
00:13:00,127 --> 00:13:03,096
Okay, let's start with
the "I love you" level.

272
00:13:03,164 --> 00:13:07,191
Hey, what's the group
that was from Scranton
and made it big?

273
00:13:07,268 --> 00:13:08,826
Was that U2?
Yes.

274
00:13:08,903 --> 00:13:10,803
You don't love Holly.

275
00:13:10,871 --> 00:13:11,963
I think I do.

276
00:13:12,039 --> 00:13:13,028
But you just met her.

277
00:13:13,107 --> 00:13:15,405
Well, it's love
at first sight.

278
00:13:16,177 --> 00:13:19,237
Actually, it was...
No, it was when
I heard her voice.

279
00:13:19,313 --> 00:13:21,406
It was love at first
see with my ears.

280
00:13:21,482 --> 00:13:23,313
Okay. It doesn't
work like that.

281
00:13:23,384 --> 00:13:26,080
Well, not a romantic.

282
00:13:26,153 --> 00:13:27,347
Actually, I think I am.

283
00:13:27,421 --> 00:13:30,879
And I have a little bit of
experience in office romance.

284
00:13:30,958 --> 00:13:32,050
Oh, really?
Yeah.

285
00:13:32,126 --> 00:13:33,616
Like with who?

286
00:13:34,028 --> 00:13:35,120
We've been through this.

287
00:13:35,196 --> 00:13:36,220
Pam?

288
00:13:36,297 --> 00:13:39,460
Yes. We are still
dating, and guess
what, I took it slow.

289
00:13:39,533 --> 00:13:40,932
Yeah, you took it too slow.

290
00:13:41,001 --> 00:13:42,127
Well, we're really happy.

291
00:13:42,203 --> 00:13:46,936
This thing with Holly
feels a lot like love to me.

292
00:13:47,007 --> 00:13:49,407
And that's really sweet,
and you can think that,

293
00:13:49,476 --> 00:13:52,877
but you don't say that
out loud, and you definitely
don't say it to her.

294
00:13:52,947 --> 00:13:54,608
I don't want her to get away.

295
00:13:54,682 --> 00:13:59,642
I know. Here, Michael,
you can court her as you
get to know her, you know?

296
00:13:59,720 --> 00:14:02,211
I mean, the office is
a great place for that.

297
00:14:02,523 --> 00:14:04,753
Pam and I, we got to know
each other right out there.

298
00:14:04,825 --> 00:14:08,659
I mean, the first time we
joked around was at my desk.

299
00:14:08,729 --> 00:14:13,689
And the first meal we
ever had was in the
break room, actually.

300
00:14:13,767 --> 00:14:17,362
We were at two separate
tables, and I remember that.

301
00:14:17,438 --> 00:14:21,465
The first time we kissed,
even, was right outside and...

302
00:14:22,543 --> 00:14:27,071
Look, all I'm saying is
that you can get to know
someone really, really well,

303
00:14:28,115 --> 00:14:30,379
like I did,
right here at work.

304
00:14:33,621 --> 00:14:37,921
I was thinking fireworks
for the party.
What do you think?

305
00:14:37,992 --> 00:14:40,324
Oh, boy. I appreciate
your help, but I can't...

306
00:14:40,394 --> 00:14:44,694
No, no, no. I just meant
I wanted to pay to have
fireworks at the party.

307
00:14:44,765 --> 00:14:46,426
Why would you do that?

308
00:14:47,234 --> 00:14:49,532
Because I'm going
to miss Toby.

309
00:14:50,471 --> 00:14:53,998
Yep. He's a heck of a guy,
and I think we should
send him off right.

310
00:14:54,074 --> 00:14:56,201
Doesn't matter. Here you go.

311
00:14:59,613 --> 00:15:01,080
Really?

312
00:15:01,148 --> 00:15:02,615
Well, we all want
a good party, right?

313
00:15:04,985 --> 00:15:06,885
I'm going to
propose tonight.

314
00:15:08,255 --> 00:15:09,882
Holy crap.

315
00:15:23,737 --> 00:15:25,500
Hey, Kevin.
Hi.

316
00:15:26,206 --> 00:15:28,071
Do you need some help?

317
00:15:28,275 --> 00:15:29,970
I can't decide what to get.

318
00:15:30,945 --> 00:15:32,913
Well, what do
you like to eat?

319
00:15:33,647 --> 00:15:35,740
Well, I like pretzels,

320
00:15:37,718 --> 00:15:39,413
but I really like chips.

321
00:15:39,887 --> 00:15:40,876
Hmm.

322
00:15:41,188 --> 00:15:43,554
Well, how much money
do you have there?

323
00:15:45,259 --> 00:15:46,624
Okay, let's see.

324
00:15:47,461 --> 00:15:50,692
F'ifty... This is a button.

325
00:15:53,767 --> 00:15:56,668
F'ifty-five, sixty-five, okay,
you have seventy-five cents

326
00:15:57,104 --> 00:16:02,132
so that means you could get
anything up in the top row.

327
00:16:05,079 --> 00:16:06,068
Hmm.

328
00:16:10,050 --> 00:16:12,450
I'm totally going
to bang Holly.

329
00:16:12,519 --> 00:16:16,478
She is cute and helpful,
and she really seems into me.

330
00:16:17,458 --> 00:16:19,085
Hey, Ryan. It's Jim.

331
00:16:19,159 --> 00:16:20,854
Look, man, I don't know
what's gotten into you lately,

332
00:16:20,928 --> 00:16:22,327
but you know what?
I really don't care,

333
00:16:22,396 --> 00:16:23,988
because you're
trying to get rid of me,

334
00:16:24,064 --> 00:16:27,465
and I bet you think I don't
care enough about this
job to actually fight back,

335
00:16:27,534 --> 00:16:29,832
but you're wrong,
because I do, and I will.

336
00:16:29,903 --> 00:16:31,962
So you can keep
trying to push me
out of this place,

337
00:16:32,039 --> 00:16:34,599
but guess what,
I'm not going anywhere.

338
00:16:38,245 --> 00:16:39,234
(EXHALES)

339
00:16:47,921 --> 00:16:49,047
HOLLY: Damn it.

340
00:16:50,591 --> 00:16:52,650
Hello, Holly.

341
00:16:53,293 --> 00:16:56,854
Whoa, what are you
doing? You don't...

342
00:16:56,930 --> 00:16:59,831
You don't have to do that.
I mean, we have
already-put-together chairs.

343
00:16:59,900 --> 00:17:01,925
That's how we buy
them, actually.

344
00:17:02,870 --> 00:17:06,738
Trying to adjust the lumbar
support on Toby's chair,

345
00:17:06,807 --> 00:17:09,173
and that made
this up-down lever
thing not work,

346
00:17:09,243 --> 00:17:11,507
and then I took the
whole chair apart,

347
00:17:11,578 --> 00:17:15,412
and that is the story
of me on the floor.

348
00:17:15,482 --> 00:17:18,076
It's pretty good, right?
Yeah, I'm going to
sell the movie rights.

349
00:17:18,152 --> 00:17:21,212
And the sequel,
woman stands
at desk and works.

350
00:17:24,925 --> 00:17:29,885
So, I have no idea
how you sit like that.

351
00:17:30,397 --> 00:17:31,625
Yoga.

352
00:17:32,499 --> 00:17:35,798
(IMITATING YODA) Sit on
floor and put
together chair, we will.

353
00:17:40,941 --> 00:17:41,930
(LAUGHS)

354
00:17:42,376 --> 00:17:43,638
Yoda.

355
00:17:48,582 --> 00:17:51,551
(IMITATING YODA) Pass
curvy metal piece, you will.

356
00:17:58,959 --> 00:18:03,225
So are you in town
this weekend?
Because I'm not.

357
00:18:04,198 --> 00:18:06,029
I'm not going to be in town.

358
00:18:07,334 --> 00:18:08,562
I'm going out of town.

359
00:18:08,635 --> 00:18:10,830
Oh, so you can't
make my orgy?

360
00:18:12,406 --> 00:18:13,634
Kidding.

361
00:18:14,942 --> 00:18:17,911
Kidding. Acting.

362
00:18:17,978 --> 00:18:19,002
Acting.

363
00:18:19,079 --> 00:18:20,910
Acting.

364
00:18:22,082 --> 00:18:24,175
Lovitz.

365
00:18:24,251 --> 00:18:25,309
Yeah.

366
00:18:26,987 --> 00:18:28,511
I did it.

367
00:18:29,423 --> 00:18:30,447
What did you do?

368
00:18:30,524 --> 00:18:31,923
I talked to her. Holly.

369
00:18:32,025 --> 00:18:37,588
Just pleasantries, nothing,
you know, not like,
"Do you want kids?" or religion,

370
00:18:37,664 --> 00:18:39,723
or "What side of the
bed do you want?"

371
00:18:39,800 --> 00:18:42,633
Hey, I can take either side
of the bed at this point.

372
00:18:42,703 --> 00:18:44,534
Wow. Okay, so how
did that feel?

373
00:18:44,605 --> 00:18:46,197
It was hard.
I wanted to kiss her.

374
00:18:46,273 --> 00:18:48,036
I'm so glad you didn't.

375
00:18:48,842 --> 00:18:49,831
(INHALES)

376
00:18:50,511 --> 00:18:52,138
Laying a base.
Laying a base.

377
00:18:52,212 --> 00:18:53,509
There you go.

378
00:18:53,580 --> 00:18:56,276
There's plenty
of base-lying left, right?

379
00:18:57,351 --> 00:18:59,285
Hey.
Yeah.

380
00:19:00,954 --> 00:19:02,478
Hello, Angela.

381
00:19:02,556 --> 00:19:05,719
Phyllis. You look like
you're going to have
a heart attack.

382
00:19:05,792 --> 00:19:07,885
Can I get a list
of your vendors?

383
00:19:08,962 --> 00:19:10,054
I shredded it.

384
00:19:10,130 --> 00:19:11,324
Why would you do that?

385
00:19:11,398 --> 00:19:13,866
Gosh, I just don't know.
Why do you think?

386
00:19:19,840 --> 00:19:21,000
Sorry.

387
00:19:25,078 --> 00:19:26,602
What did you guys do?

388
00:19:26,680 --> 00:19:30,116
Oh... There he is.
I thought you had
gone home already.

389
00:19:30,184 --> 00:19:33,017
Why don't you go home
and come back for the party?

390
00:19:34,755 --> 00:19:38,122
Well, we still have to
do the exit interview.

391
00:19:41,628 --> 00:19:42,993
Yes, we do.

392
00:19:43,664 --> 00:19:44,722
I'll let you in on
a little secret.

393
00:19:44,798 --> 00:19:47,323
I've been very much
looking forward
to this moment.

394
00:19:47,401 --> 00:19:51,838
Very, very much.
I have been steeped
in anticipation.

395
00:19:52,606 --> 00:19:57,703
Toby has been cruising
for a bruising for 12 years,

396
00:19:57,778 --> 00:20:00,338
and I am now
his cruise director,

397
00:20:00,981 --> 00:20:03,245
and my name is
Captain Bruising.

398
00:20:03,884 --> 00:20:05,647
Wow, thanks, Michael,
I didn't expect you...

399
00:20:05,719 --> 00:20:09,211
Can I just say that
of all the idiots

400
00:20:09,289 --> 00:20:12,690
in all the idiot villages
in all the idiot worlds,

401
00:20:12,759 --> 00:20:15,785
you stand alone, my friend.

402
00:20:15,862 --> 00:20:16,886
Hello.

403
00:20:16,964 --> 00:20:19,364
Hey. Hi. Good to see you.

404
00:20:19,433 --> 00:20:20,491
Here?

405
00:20:20,567 --> 00:20:22,467
I'm just having
a little exit interview.

406
00:20:22,536 --> 00:20:24,367
Yeah, I know.
That's why I'm here.

407
00:20:24,438 --> 00:20:26,303
No, no, no.
This is very boring stuff.

408
00:20:26,373 --> 00:20:28,500
Why don't you take a tour?
Have you seen the bailer?

409
00:20:28,575 --> 00:20:31,009
No, no. I'll look
at it later.

410
00:20:32,246 --> 00:20:34,111
It's part of my job.

411
00:20:36,683 --> 00:20:37,843
Okay.

412
00:20:37,951 --> 00:20:38,940
(CLEARS THROAT)

413
00:20:39,052 --> 00:20:40,212
Did you need me
to take notes?

414
00:20:40,287 --> 00:20:41,549
Hey, Pam, stay.

415
00:20:41,622 --> 00:20:42,748
Okay.

416
00:20:45,559 --> 00:20:46,548
Um...

417
00:20:47,060 --> 00:20:50,689
All right, well,
then I will proceed.

418
00:20:51,098 --> 00:20:55,057
I just have some questions
that I was going to ask.

419
00:20:58,739 --> 00:20:59,728
MICHAEL: Um...

420
00:21:03,810 --> 00:21:05,801
Who do you think you are?

421
00:21:10,884 --> 00:21:12,215
I'm Toby.

422
00:21:12,286 --> 00:21:14,811
Yeah. Correct.

423
00:21:16,723 --> 00:21:17,712
Um...

424
00:21:19,059 --> 00:21:20,583
What gives... What...

425
00:21:21,628 --> 00:21:23,357
What gives you the right?

426
00:21:26,433 --> 00:21:28,958
I brought the binder.
Do you want to
take a little look?

427
00:21:29,036 --> 00:21:32,335
Sure. You know what?
That sounds good.
I'll take a little look-see.

428
00:21:33,073 --> 00:21:35,007
Here we go.
Thank you.

429
00:21:36,543 --> 00:21:42,971
"What would you improve
about Dunder Mifflin?"

430
00:21:43,050 --> 00:21:44,608
At this point...
No, no, no, no.

431
00:21:44,685 --> 00:21:46,243
I've got some ideas,
I guess.
No, no, no.

432
00:21:46,320 --> 00:21:48,652
I'm not asking it.
I'm just reading it out loud.

433
00:21:48,722 --> 00:21:50,747
I'd like to hear the answer.

434
00:21:51,792 --> 00:21:55,023
(SIGHS)
Well, let me see.
I would...

435
00:22:06,273 --> 00:22:07,763
(WHISPERING) I'll kill you.

436
00:22:09,576 --> 00:22:11,271
I guess everything's okay.

437
00:22:11,945 --> 00:22:15,506
I made it this far, right?
What's the point?

438
00:22:16,817 --> 00:22:18,079
Toby, why don't you
open your present?

439
00:22:18,151 --> 00:22:20,381
No, no, no, no.

440
00:22:20,454 --> 00:22:24,185
Hey! Hey! Hey!
This might not
be what I think

441
00:22:24,257 --> 00:22:27,454
that I don't even know is
in there because there are
a lot of presents in my car,

442
00:22:27,527 --> 00:22:29,552
and I don't know
which is which.

443
00:22:29,963 --> 00:22:31,396
"Suck on this."

444
00:22:34,968 --> 00:22:36,492
What the hell is that?
Michael.

445
00:22:36,570 --> 00:22:39,061
That's... What do
you mean "Michael"?

446
00:22:39,806 --> 00:22:45,267
That's not even my
handwriting. Hey, what
the hell is going on here?

447
00:22:46,446 --> 00:22:47,811
Who thought it
would be hysterical

448
00:22:47,881 --> 00:22:50,873
to give Toby a rock
for his going-away gift?

449
00:22:50,951 --> 00:22:52,009
You did.

450
00:22:52,085 --> 00:22:53,609
No!
You made me wrap it.

451
00:22:53,687 --> 00:22:55,621
Now, I thought it was
over the line. I just...
(MICHAEL HUMMING)

452
00:22:55,689 --> 00:22:57,623
Okay. You know what that is?
You know what that is?

453
00:22:57,691 --> 00:22:59,056
That is

454
00:23:01,795 --> 00:23:02,955
a psyche.

455
00:23:04,731 --> 00:23:08,167
Psyche. So that is not
my real gift to Toby.

456
00:23:08,235 --> 00:23:09,224
So what is your gift?

457
00:23:09,302 --> 00:23:11,532
My gift is forthcoming, Pam.

458
00:23:11,605 --> 00:23:12,970
What is it?

459
00:23:14,408 --> 00:23:17,900
I am going to give Toby...

460
00:23:17,978 --> 00:23:19,002
Your watch?

461
00:23:22,282 --> 00:23:23,909
Yes, I am.

462
00:23:24,918 --> 00:23:28,012
That was it. How did
you know that?

463
00:23:28,088 --> 00:23:29,749
I just knew.
How did you know?

464
00:23:29,823 --> 00:23:31,552
Oh, that is so sweet.

465
00:23:31,625 --> 00:23:34,355
Well, that's my watch.

466
00:23:34,428 --> 00:23:36,726
Thanks. I'm going to
set it to Costa Rica time.

467
00:23:36,797 --> 00:23:37,923
Hey, that's good.

468
00:23:37,998 --> 00:23:40,432
CREED: It's the kid.
Look! Look! Look!

469
00:23:41,234 --> 00:23:43,759
Hey, it's the temp!

470
00:23:43,837 --> 00:23:45,099
Look!
DWIGHT: Oh, my gosh.

471
00:23:45,172 --> 00:23:46,434
CREED: It's the temp.
PAM: Wow.

472
00:23:46,506 --> 00:23:48,804
PAM: Is that the police?
DWIGHT: Yes.

473
00:23:48,975 --> 00:23:50,408
Well, this is what happened.

474
00:23:50,477 --> 00:23:52,911
Ryan's big project
was the Web site,

475
00:23:54,047 --> 00:23:56,777
which wasn't doing
so well, so Ryan,

476
00:23:56,850 --> 00:24:00,183
to give the impression
of sales, recorded them twice,

477
00:24:00,253 --> 00:24:02,847
once as office sales
and once as Web site sales,

478
00:24:02,923 --> 00:24:06,859
which is what we refer to
in the business as
misleading the shareholders,

479
00:24:06,960 --> 00:24:09,155
another good term is fraud.

480
00:24:10,797 --> 00:24:13,891
The real crime,
I think, was the beard.

481
00:24:15,502 --> 00:24:19,336
Oh, my God. Ryan. Oh, my God.

482
00:24:19,573 --> 00:24:22,770
I cannot wait to
visit Ryan in prison.

483
00:24:22,843 --> 00:24:25,175
I'm going to wear
my hottest track suit
and get my hair done

484
00:24:25,245 --> 00:24:28,078
and then be like,
"Hi, Ryan." And then
all the other prisoners

485
00:24:28,148 --> 00:24:32,141
are going to be like,
"Damn, Ryan, you
got a hot ex-girlfriend.

486
00:24:32,252 --> 00:24:35,813
"I would never have treated
her so bad when
I was outside of prison."

487
00:24:36,857 --> 00:24:38,791
Would you do me a favor
and connect me to Ryan?

488
00:24:38,859 --> 00:24:40,224
Absolutely.

489
00:24:44,598 --> 00:24:45,587
(CLEARS THROAT)

490
00:24:46,399 --> 00:24:47,866
Right to voicemail.

491
00:24:48,668 --> 00:24:51,660
Hey, Ryan, it's Jim.
You know what?

492
00:24:51,738 --> 00:24:53,433
Totally disregard
that last voicemail,

493
00:24:53,507 --> 00:24:55,998
because you obviously
have your hands tied.

494
00:24:56,443 --> 00:24:57,603
Good luck.

495
00:24:59,212 --> 00:25:01,180
What's protocol on this?

496
00:25:01,248 --> 00:25:03,614
I normally do
nothing, I guess.

497
00:25:06,152 --> 00:25:07,676
You shouldn't...

498
00:25:07,787 --> 00:25:09,015
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)

499
00:25:09,623 --> 00:25:11,215
Michael, are you okay?

500
00:25:11,992 --> 00:25:13,482
I'm just worried
about my friend.

501
00:25:13,560 --> 00:25:15,528
Oh, God, of course you are.

502
00:25:15,695 --> 00:25:17,959
Just... I'm fine.

503
00:25:18,031 --> 00:25:19,862
I'm holding it together.
I have a business to run.

504
00:25:19,933 --> 00:25:21,798
No, hey, stop.
I'm cool.

505
00:25:21,868 --> 00:25:24,735
You can let yourself be
upset. He's your friend.

506
00:25:27,173 --> 00:25:28,162
Look,

507
00:25:29,709 --> 00:25:31,700
you know what I usually find?

508
00:25:31,778 --> 00:25:36,044
MICHAEL: Holly is sweet
and simple, like a lady baker.

509
00:25:36,883 --> 00:25:40,649
I would not be
surprised to find out

510
00:25:40,720 --> 00:25:43,587
that she had worked in
a bakery before coming here.

511
00:25:43,857 --> 00:25:45,688
She has that kind of warmth.

512
00:25:48,461 --> 00:25:50,861
I'm pretty sure she's baked
on a professional level.

513
00:25:53,900 --> 00:25:54,889
JIM: Whoa.

514
00:25:55,468 --> 00:25:58,767
Cool. A bouncy house.

515
00:25:58,838 --> 00:26:00,931
Kevin, take your
shoes off first.

516
00:26:02,409 --> 00:26:04,570
(DANCE MUSIC PLAYING)

517
00:26:05,045 --> 00:26:06,774
No anti-gravity
machine, huh?

518
00:26:06,846 --> 00:26:09,178
Sorry, Michael. I don't
think they're real.

519
00:26:09,282 --> 00:26:11,216
F'erris wheel's pretty
cool, though.

520
00:26:11,284 --> 00:26:13,946
Wow. Look at
our parking lot.

521
00:26:14,020 --> 00:26:15,419
Yeah. Who would
have thought?

522
00:26:24,531 --> 00:26:26,556
PAM: Is Jim going
to propose tonight?

523
00:26:27,067 --> 00:26:30,059
He is, isn't he?
No, he's not.

524
00:26:31,371 --> 00:26:32,395
Is he?

525
00:26:32,505 --> 00:26:35,565
It was a pretty good
company, but I just
couldn't see a future there.

526
00:26:35,642 --> 00:26:38,110
They kept hiring
from the outside.

527
00:26:38,178 --> 00:26:41,170
It was easy to get in,
but impossible to rise up.

528
00:26:41,247 --> 00:26:44,307
That's what she...
A lot of places
are like that.

529
00:26:45,619 --> 00:26:48,019
I think it's really cool
you hired Kevin.

530
00:26:48,088 --> 00:26:49,112
Thanks.

531
00:26:51,257 --> 00:26:52,952
(WHISPERS) Do you have it?
Almost.

532
00:26:56,796 --> 00:26:58,923
Here we go, here we go.
Put it in!

533
00:27:00,934 --> 00:27:02,925
I like...
That's my car.

534
00:27:04,571 --> 00:27:06,664
Hey, what are you doing?

535
00:27:08,642 --> 00:27:10,507
Mose! What the hell
is going on here?

536
00:27:10,577 --> 00:27:11,771
Nothing you need
to know the details of!

537
00:27:11,845 --> 00:27:13,472
There is a raccoon
in the car!
No, there's not.

538
00:27:13,546 --> 00:27:15,571
MICHAEL: Dwight,
why did you do that?

539
00:27:15,649 --> 00:27:16,775
It was playful hazing.

540
00:27:16,850 --> 00:27:19,614
No! There's no such thing
as playful hazing.

541
00:27:20,720 --> 00:27:22,449
Dwight, I want you to
look at Holly right now.

542
00:27:22,522 --> 00:27:25,389
Everybody, I want you to
look at Holly right now,

543
00:27:25,458 --> 00:27:29,952
and maybe if you look
at her deeply enough,
you'll see what I see in her,

544
00:27:30,030 --> 00:27:34,592
and that is that we
are all very lucky
to have her here.

545
00:27:35,101 --> 00:27:40,368
Holly is the best thing
that has happened
to this company

546
00:27:41,341 --> 00:27:43,036
since World War II.

547
00:27:43,109 --> 00:27:44,974
F'ifty years.
She is the best.

548
00:27:47,113 --> 00:27:48,603
Take care of that,
all right?

549
00:27:48,682 --> 00:27:49,740
It's not rabid.
MICHAEL: Shh!

550
00:27:51,217 --> 00:27:52,479
Thanks for
bringing that up.

551
00:27:52,552 --> 00:27:53,883
Get it out. Come on.
Get it out. Get out.

552
00:27:53,953 --> 00:27:55,284
I'm really sorry.

553
00:27:55,355 --> 00:27:58,916
Michael, thank you so
much for saying that.

554
00:27:58,992 --> 00:28:01,392
I feel so welcome here.
I just...

555
00:28:06,833 --> 00:28:08,130
Excuse me.

556
00:28:11,571 --> 00:28:14,438
Did you see that?
Did you see it?
Did you see what...

557
00:28:14,507 --> 00:28:16,338
Wowee.

558
00:28:17,444 --> 00:28:19,810
Well, Jan didn't believe
in showing affection,

559
00:28:19,879 --> 00:28:24,077
so sometimes I don't
know how to react
when a girl touches me.

560
00:28:24,551 --> 00:28:25,540
Oh...

561
00:28:25,952 --> 00:28:27,214
I like it.

562
00:28:27,287 --> 00:28:28,879
(LAUGHS)

563
00:28:31,491 --> 00:28:33,391
Hey, Mrs. Vance,
we're all out.

564
00:28:33,460 --> 00:28:34,859
Hey, Kevin.

565
00:28:34,928 --> 00:28:38,625
I need you to do me
a solid and go buy some
more barbecue sauce.

566
00:28:39,866 --> 00:28:40,958
Okay.

567
00:28:44,437 --> 00:28:46,029
Cool.

568
00:28:46,106 --> 00:28:48,074
You drive your own car?

569
00:28:48,141 --> 00:28:50,336
Yep. This is my car.

570
00:28:51,010 --> 00:28:52,671
Do you drive your own car?

571
00:28:52,746 --> 00:28:54,941
Yep. Just like you.

572
00:28:56,182 --> 00:28:57,706
Okay, bye.

573
00:28:57,784 --> 00:28:58,944
Bye.

574
00:28:59,652 --> 00:29:00,641
(CAR ENGINE STARTING)

575
00:29:01,054 --> 00:29:04,114
Kevin, I'm really
proud of you.

576
00:29:10,196 --> 00:29:13,393
All right, let's hear it
for Darryl and his band.

577
00:29:13,833 --> 00:29:18,566
You know what, let's also
give a shout out to Phyllis
for this awesome party.

578
00:29:19,072 --> 00:29:21,836
(PEOPLE CHEERING)
Probably the best one
that we have ever had.

579
00:29:22,842 --> 00:29:26,710
But the real reason that we
are here is to say goodbye

580
00:29:26,780 --> 00:29:30,682
to a guy who we will probably
never ever see again.

581
00:29:30,750 --> 00:29:34,083
Now, a lot of you know
that I am an accomplished
song writer.

582
00:29:34,154 --> 00:29:35,178
Song parody writer.

583
00:29:35,255 --> 00:29:37,883
I've done things like
Beers in Heaven.

584
00:29:37,957 --> 00:29:38,981
JIM: Classic.

585
00:29:39,058 --> 00:29:40,787
Or Total Eclipse of the F'art.

586
00:29:40,860 --> 00:29:42,225
Not my favorite.
I like that one.
I like that one.

587
00:29:42,295 --> 00:29:46,391
I love to sing them,
but I am not going
to be doing that today.

588
00:29:46,466 --> 00:29:50,300
I am going to be doing
something I wrote
specifically for Toby.

589
00:29:50,370 --> 00:29:54,534
Do you know Goodbye Stranger,
Supertramp?

590
00:29:54,607 --> 00:29:55,801
Yeah.

591
00:29:57,143 --> 00:29:59,077
(SINGING) It was early
morning yesterday

592
00:30:00,680 --> 00:30:02,409
I was up before the dawn

593
00:30:05,485 --> 00:30:07,817
And I really have
enjoyed my stay

594
00:30:09,055 --> 00:30:10,818
Toby must be moving on

595
00:30:13,459 --> 00:30:18,658
I'm going to miss Toby.
He has a nice calming
presence in the office.

596
00:30:18,932 --> 00:30:20,763
Goodbye, Toby

597
00:30:20,834 --> 00:30:25,965
It's been nice
Hope you find your paradise

598
00:30:26,239 --> 00:30:29,174
Don't tell him I said this,
but I always thought
he was kind of cute.

599
00:30:29,375 --> 00:30:33,675
Come tomorrow, feel no pain

600
00:30:34,547 --> 00:30:37,380
Feel no pain

601
00:30:39,919 --> 00:30:40,908
Toby

602
00:30:41,688 --> 00:30:46,421
Toby, Toby, Toby's going away

603
00:30:46,926 --> 00:30:50,794
See ya! He's out of here
See ya! He's out of here

604
00:30:52,966 --> 00:30:56,265
Goodbye, Toby! Goodbye, Toby!

605
00:30:56,336 --> 00:31:00,397
Goodbye, Toby! Goodbye, Toby!

606
00:31:00,807 --> 00:31:01,933
Not bad.

607
00:31:02,008 --> 00:31:04,067
Oh, hey, thanks.

608
00:31:04,143 --> 00:31:06,202
Someday I would love to hear
Beers in Heaven.

609
00:31:06,279 --> 00:31:07,610
Oh, okay. Yeah.

610
00:31:07,680 --> 00:31:12,845
Well, actually, too soon.
It's very sexual.

611
00:31:12,919 --> 00:31:14,580
(CELL PHONE RINGING)

612
00:31:14,654 --> 00:31:15,814
Sorry.

613
00:31:16,990 --> 00:31:18,389
Kevin.

614
00:31:19,092 --> 00:31:21,890
Kevin, where are you?
You missed my song, buddy.

615
00:31:21,961 --> 00:31:25,158
Yeah, Michael,
I'm at Gerrity's.
You have to come down here.

616
00:31:25,231 --> 00:31:27,426
Just pay for it,
and we'll reimburse
you when you get back.

617
00:31:27,500 --> 00:31:29,229
No, I brought my money.

618
00:31:29,302 --> 00:31:31,270
Michael, there's something
that you need to see.

619
00:31:31,337 --> 00:31:33,168
What is it?
Just hurry.

620
00:31:34,807 --> 00:31:35,796
Is he okay?

621
00:31:35,875 --> 00:31:36,933
Yeah, he's at the
supermarket.

622
00:31:37,010 --> 00:31:38,807
He needs me.
You know, the party,

623
00:31:38,878 --> 00:31:41,676
driving to the supermarket.
It's a big day for him.

624
00:31:41,748 --> 00:31:43,909
Yeah. That's true.

625
00:31:43,983 --> 00:31:47,714
Don't move a muscle.
I will be back momentarily.
All right?

626
00:31:48,621 --> 00:31:51,647
You can drink, finish your
drink, and then I'll...
Okay, I'll be back.

627
00:31:59,832 --> 00:32:01,231
JAN: Well, it was
good to see you.

628
00:32:01,301 --> 00:32:02,427
It was great to
see you, Jan.

629
00:32:02,502 --> 00:32:03,526
Yeah. So...

630
00:32:03,603 --> 00:32:06,663
Okay. Hello, Jan.

631
00:32:06,739 --> 00:32:08,434
Oh, hello, Michael.

632
00:32:08,508 --> 00:32:10,339
Wow, Kevin, really?

633
00:32:10,410 --> 00:32:13,379
We're... Sorry, we're
in the middle of a party.

634
00:32:13,446 --> 00:32:14,572
Is this why you
called me down here?

635
00:32:14,647 --> 00:32:16,911
Yeah. Michael, I just...

636
00:32:17,717 --> 00:32:20,242
I think you kids have
a lot to catch up on.

637
00:32:20,320 --> 00:32:21,514
Okay.
Yeah.

638
00:32:21,587 --> 00:32:23,111
Thanks, Kevin.

639
00:32:28,728 --> 00:32:33,028
Wow. I can't believe it.
(JAN LAUGHS)

640
00:32:33,099 --> 00:32:34,498
Look at you.

641
00:32:34,934 --> 00:32:36,265
Are you nauseous?
No.

642
00:32:36,336 --> 00:32:38,031
Do you have cravings?

643
00:32:38,104 --> 00:32:40,231
You never touched my Propecia
or my Accutane, did you?

644
00:32:40,306 --> 00:32:41,364
No, I...
Good.

645
00:32:41,441 --> 00:32:43,909
Good. Thank God,
because that's...
Didn't touch that.

646
00:32:44,143 --> 00:32:47,340
Wow. I am so happy.
I am so deliriously happy.

647
00:32:47,413 --> 00:32:49,074
Why?
Because you are pregnant.

648
00:32:49,148 --> 00:32:50,706
Yeah.
And because it
obviously happened

649
00:32:50,783 --> 00:32:53,650
when we were together,
and I am very...

650
00:32:53,720 --> 00:32:55,415
Yeah, it did happen...
...proud.

651
00:32:55,488 --> 00:32:59,356
...when we were together.
That's true, and... But you

652
00:33:01,160 --> 00:33:02,388
are not...

653
00:33:03,896 --> 00:33:05,363
You're not the dad.

654
00:33:14,974 --> 00:33:16,532
You cheated on me

655
00:33:17,343 --> 00:33:20,210
when I specifically
asked you not to?

656
00:33:20,279 --> 00:33:24,079
No, I did not...
I did not cheat on you.

657
00:33:24,917 --> 00:33:26,248
I did not.

658
00:33:26,886 --> 00:33:32,483
Well, okay, so it's not
mine, and it's not
somebody else's, so...

659
00:33:33,993 --> 00:33:35,620
I know

660
00:33:36,596 --> 00:33:38,723
the whole toilet seat
thing is a myth, so...

661
00:33:38,798 --> 00:33:41,130
I went to a sperm bank.

662
00:33:42,668 --> 00:33:44,533
You did?
Yeah.

663
00:33:44,637 --> 00:33:46,161
When we were going out?

664
00:33:46,239 --> 00:33:47,399
Yeah.

665
00:33:47,974 --> 00:33:52,104
I don't understand.
You always used
to be very cautious,

666
00:33:52,879 --> 00:33:54,107
wearing two condoms.

667
00:33:54,180 --> 00:33:55,272
I know.

668
00:33:55,648 --> 00:33:57,775
You would rather have
somebody else's sperm
than my sperm?

669
00:33:57,850 --> 00:34:01,149
No. No, no. It's not
just any sperm bank.

670
00:34:01,220 --> 00:34:05,156
I mean, it's really...
This is a really,
really great place.

671
00:34:05,224 --> 00:34:07,886
It's amazing, actually.
I'm going to bring
you the catalog.

672
00:34:07,960 --> 00:34:09,518
You should look through it.

673
00:34:09,595 --> 00:34:12,894
It's... In fact, it's
right next to that
little breakfast place

674
00:34:12,965 --> 00:34:15,627
that you like in the city,
where you can draw
on the tables.

675
00:34:15,701 --> 00:34:16,895
IHOP.

676
00:34:16,969 --> 00:34:18,027
IHOP.

677
00:34:18,538 --> 00:34:22,133
If I was 22, and I had
lots of time to have
lots of children,

678
00:34:22,208 --> 00:34:24,267
then, sure, let's let Michael
have a shot at one of them,

679
00:34:24,343 --> 00:34:26,607
but honestly, I need to
make this one count.

680
00:34:27,246 --> 00:34:30,010
Oh, that's really good.
I feel so much better.

681
00:34:30,083 --> 00:34:32,643
I just needed
to get all of that
out on the table.

682
00:34:32,718 --> 00:34:33,946
I'm glad you told me.

683
00:34:34,020 --> 00:34:36,147
Look, I don't know
what you're going to
be doing tomorrow,

684
00:34:36,222 --> 00:34:41,592
but I have my Lamaze
class in Allentown,
and you could come.

685
00:34:41,928 --> 00:34:46,160
I usually, you know,
use a foam noodle
instead of a partner.

686
00:34:48,901 --> 00:34:49,925
Um...

687
00:34:50,002 --> 00:34:52,334
I'll... I have to
think about it.

688
00:34:54,173 --> 00:34:55,265
Okay.

689
00:34:57,410 --> 00:35:01,870
My whole life I have
known two things.

690
00:35:01,948 --> 00:35:05,714
I love sex,
and I want to have kids.

691
00:35:05,785 --> 00:35:09,346
And I always thought
that those two things
would go hand in hand,

692
00:35:09,922 --> 00:35:12,482
but now I think it might
be one or the other.

693
00:35:14,160 --> 00:35:15,787
Oh, look, they're starting.

694
00:35:22,301 --> 00:35:23,290
(WHOOPS)

695
00:35:33,279 --> 00:35:35,645
Well, I hope you
had fun today,

696
00:35:35,715 --> 00:35:38,275
because you are never ever
throwing a party again.

697
00:36:01,607 --> 00:36:03,268
Hey.

698
00:36:03,342 --> 00:36:05,503
Can I have your
attention, please?

699
00:36:06,445 --> 00:36:09,209
I was waiting for the
right time to do this,

700
00:36:09,282 --> 00:36:12,445
and I can't think of a better
time than right now.

701
00:36:12,518 --> 00:36:15,715
With the music playing
and all our friends around

702
00:36:15,788 --> 00:36:18,916
and fireworks going off.

703
00:36:18,991 --> 00:36:22,427
My parents are here,
Andrew and Ellen Bernard.

704
00:36:22,495 --> 00:36:25,828
Thank you for sharing
in this joyous moment.

705
00:36:25,898 --> 00:36:29,356
Ms. Angela Martin,
will you please
join me on stage?

706
00:36:31,204 --> 00:36:34,037
Okay. Then I will come
to you, my flower.

707
00:36:35,975 --> 00:36:37,203
DARRYL: Damn it!

708
00:36:40,413 --> 00:36:45,350
Angela, will you
do me the honor

709
00:36:46,686 --> 00:36:51,555
of giving me your tiny
hand in marriage?

710
00:37:00,600 --> 00:37:01,726
Okay.

711
00:37:02,635 --> 00:37:04,125
Into the mike, sweetie.

712
00:37:04,203 --> 00:37:05,670
I said okay.

713
00:37:05,738 --> 00:37:07,535
She said yes.

714
00:37:07,640 --> 00:37:08,902
(ALL CLAPPING)

715
00:37:08,975 --> 00:37:11,409
And the crowd goes wild!

716
00:37:12,345 --> 00:37:13,334
(WHOOPS)

717
00:37:14,013 --> 00:37:15,002
(CLEARS THROAT)

718
00:37:19,485 --> 00:37:20,474
(SIGHS)

719
00:37:21,988 --> 00:37:26,015
I've been carrying
that ring around in my
wallet for six years,

720
00:37:26,092 --> 00:37:28,617
because you don't know
when you're going
to meet the right girl

721
00:37:28,694 --> 00:37:30,753
and the moment's
going to be right.

722
00:37:30,830 --> 00:37:33,822
And tonight,
with the fireworks

723
00:37:33,899 --> 00:37:38,529
and the music and
everything, it was right.

724
00:37:39,105 --> 00:37:40,697
Can I be your bridesmaid?

725
00:37:40,773 --> 00:37:41,831
No.

726
00:37:48,614 --> 00:37:49,979
DWIGHT: Well,

727
00:37:51,751 --> 00:37:53,412
it was my own fault.

728
00:37:55,921 --> 00:37:57,411
ANDY: Tuna!

729
00:37:59,058 --> 00:38:01,049
I'm engaged.
I know.

730
00:38:01,427 --> 00:38:02,689
That's awesome, man.
That's great.

731
00:38:02,762 --> 00:38:05,458
Mr. Andrew Bernard.

732
00:38:07,233 --> 00:38:09,030
It's got a nice ring to it.

733
00:38:10,036 --> 00:38:13,699
Hey... Hey, you know,
I just realized,

734
00:38:14,273 --> 00:38:16,207
I don't have a picture
of the two of us.

735
00:38:16,275 --> 00:38:17,299
Oh, yeah.

736
00:38:17,376 --> 00:38:19,401
Yeah, could we?
Sure.

737
00:38:19,478 --> 00:38:21,070
Meredith, do you mind?

738
00:38:21,914 --> 00:38:23,279
This one.
Okay.

739
00:38:25,351 --> 00:38:27,478
One, two, three.

740
00:38:29,221 --> 00:38:31,746
Oh, let's do it again.
Pam, your smile is weird.

741
00:38:31,824 --> 00:38:34,520
It's digital,
so just take as
many as you want.

742
00:38:36,495 --> 00:38:37,860
One, two, three.

743
00:38:39,598 --> 00:38:41,190
One, two, three.

744
00:38:41,334 --> 00:38:45,896
I don't know. I just...
I really thought Jim was
going to propose tonight.

745
00:38:49,508 --> 00:38:51,271
Hey there.
Hey.

746
00:38:51,344 --> 00:38:52,538
So, you missed
something really big.

747
00:38:52,611 --> 00:38:53,669
Yeah?

748
00:38:53,746 --> 00:38:55,873
Yeah, Andy proposed
to one of your accountants.

749
00:38:55,948 --> 00:38:57,006
Oh, wow.

750
00:38:57,083 --> 00:38:58,448
And that's as specific
as I can be

751
00:38:58,517 --> 00:38:59,814
on my first day, but...

752
00:38:59,885 --> 00:39:01,853
Well, I can see Andy
proposing to Angela.

753
00:39:01,921 --> 00:39:03,320
I can also see him
proposing to Oscar.

754
00:39:03,389 --> 00:39:04,413
Okay.

755
00:39:05,925 --> 00:39:11,329
So, you know, somehow
after all those ribs,
I'm still really hungry.

756
00:39:12,264 --> 00:39:15,028
I don't know, I was thinking
of maybe going
off-campus somewhere

757
00:39:15,101 --> 00:39:16,830
and getting some dessert.

758
00:39:16,902 --> 00:39:17,891
Oh, um...

759
00:39:18,237 --> 00:39:21,502
Well, you know what,
you should go
to the Glider Diner.

760
00:39:22,108 --> 00:39:24,975
Ask Stanley about that.
He practically lives there.

761
00:39:25,578 --> 00:39:26,670
Okay.

762
00:39:26,746 --> 00:39:27,940
I'll go to the diner with you.

763
00:39:29,181 --> 00:39:30,978
Oh, that would be great.

764
00:39:31,450 --> 00:39:33,213
We can go eat pie.

765
00:39:33,285 --> 00:39:34,411
I love pie.

766
00:39:35,121 --> 00:39:36,588
Me, too.
Okay.

767
00:39:37,690 --> 00:39:38,850
Have a good night.
Okay.

768
00:39:38,924 --> 00:39:39,982
Bye.
Night.

769
00:39:49,802 --> 00:39:51,463
Yeah, it was a good day.

770
00:39:51,537 --> 00:39:54,267
I mean, first days
are always the
hardest, right?

771
00:39:54,807 --> 00:39:57,674
Well, I should go.
I got to buckle him in.

772
00:40:01,914 --> 00:40:04,678
MICHAEL: Well, this is it.
I am here to see you off.

773
00:40:05,451 --> 00:40:06,816
Thanks.

774
00:40:07,286 --> 00:40:08,378
Really, Michael?

775
00:40:08,454 --> 00:40:09,785
Sorry. Corporate policy.

776
00:40:10,289 --> 00:40:12,223
It's not.
You might take something.

777
00:40:12,291 --> 00:40:13,849
I don't think he's
going to take anything.

778
00:40:13,926 --> 00:40:15,894
Okay, security guard.

779
00:40:16,228 --> 00:40:17,695
(BEEPING)

780
00:40:17,763 --> 00:40:19,492
Some kind of alarm.

781
00:40:20,065 --> 00:40:21,532
Okay.

782
00:40:22,468 --> 00:40:24,060
Hi, Jan. It's Michael.

783
00:40:25,037 --> 00:40:28,234
I just... I just want
to let you know

784
00:40:28,307 --> 00:40:32,403
that I am going to go
to your Lamaze class tomorrow,

785
00:40:34,113 --> 00:40:37,207
and if there's any details
you need to fill me in on,

786
00:40:37,283 --> 00:40:41,583
like what exactly Lamaze is,
that would be great,

787
00:40:42,154 --> 00:40:45,214
and I will see you
tomorrow morning.

788
00:40:50,296 --> 00:40:53,857
I am going to be
kind of a daddy.

789
00:41:00,439 --> 00:41:03,306
Party planning's a real high,
like a runner's high.

790
00:41:03,375 --> 00:41:04,364
(ELEVATOR BELL DINGS)

791
00:41:14,186 --> 00:41:17,019
(HEAVY BREATHING)

792
00:41:17,990 --> 00:41:19,821
Oh, God!
What?

793
00:41:19,892 --> 00:41:20,881
(PHYLLIS GASPS)