1 00:00:02,865 --> 00:00:04,015 They're back. 2 00:00:09,366 --> 00:00:11,679 How was Puerto Rico? Was it so romantic? 3 00:00:11,848 --> 00:00:13,720 - It really was. - Really was. 4 00:00:13,977 --> 00:00:15,527 I'm so happy for you. 5 00:00:15,852 --> 00:00:17,187 Puerto Rico was awesome. 6 00:00:17,312 --> 00:00:19,102 My gosh, the honeymoon was great. 7 00:00:19,227 --> 00:00:21,608 We met this other couple at the resort, Frank and Benny. 8 00:00:21,733 --> 00:00:23,213 We hung out with them a lot. 9 00:00:23,338 --> 00:00:24,802 Frank and Beans. 10 00:00:25,861 --> 00:00:27,505 Always makes her laugh. 11 00:00:27,630 --> 00:00:29,310 Frank and Beans. 12 00:00:30,808 --> 00:00:32,074 Is there someone there? 13 00:00:32,395 --> 00:00:33,490 Who is there? 14 00:00:33,660 --> 00:00:35,810 I hear voices, is somebody there? 15 00:00:36,705 --> 00:00:37,817 Is someone here? 16 00:00:37,942 --> 00:00:39,242 I can't see you. 17 00:00:39,519 --> 00:00:41,081 Because I'm blind. 18 00:00:41,251 --> 00:00:42,792 It's Jim and Pam. 19 00:00:42,917 --> 00:00:43,917 It is? 20 00:00:44,170 --> 00:00:45,320 They're back? 21 00:00:54,180 --> 00:00:56,085 I haven't seen you since my... 22 00:00:56,210 --> 00:00:57,660 accident that I had 23 00:00:58,250 --> 00:00:59,450 when I fell... 24 00:00:59,880 --> 00:01:02,269 I fell into the pool of acid, 25 00:01:02,582 --> 00:01:03,632 eyes-first. 26 00:01:04,815 --> 00:01:05,607 Blind guy. 27 00:01:07,404 --> 00:01:08,898 Blind guy McSqueezy. 28 00:01:09,199 --> 00:01:12,064 How do I describe it? It is a character I've been workshopping 29 00:01:12,189 --> 00:01:13,689 whose lack of vision 30 00:01:13,889 --> 00:01:15,617 gets him into all sorts of trouble. 31 00:01:16,336 --> 00:01:19,336 The women in my improv class absolutely hate him. 32 00:01:23,110 --> 00:01:24,374 So what'd you bring us? 33 00:01:24,948 --> 00:01:25,878 Some candy. 34 00:01:26,216 --> 00:01:27,921 - What else? - That's it. 35 00:01:28,520 --> 00:01:30,756 'Cause you spent so much on the wedding. 36 00:01:34,983 --> 00:01:36,178 It's good to be home. 37 00:01:36,348 --> 00:01:38,807 - Feygnasse Team - 38 00:01:38,975 --> 00:01:41,852 .:: La Fabrique ::. 39 00:01:42,454 --> 00:01:44,599 Collioure 40 00:01:45,067 --> 00:01:46,755 Jarick 41 00:01:47,067 --> 00:01:48,482 loky 42 00:01:48,652 --> 00:01:49,985 Sk0r 43 00:01:50,153 --> 00:01:51,777 yomoy The Ni.Knight 44 00:01:55,162 --> 00:01:56,783 Episode 6x06 The Lover 45 00:01:58,265 --> 00:02:00,327 This conversation has two items on the agenda. 46 00:02:00,498 --> 00:02:02,080 Do we have a conversation scheduled? 47 00:02:02,248 --> 00:02:04,790 Number one, do not leave your things on my desk. 48 00:02:04,915 --> 00:02:07,377 It's not some kind of personal pen receptacle for you. 49 00:02:07,545 --> 00:02:09,294 I don't care how high they promote you. 50 00:02:09,464 --> 00:02:11,411 Which brings me to item number two. 51 00:02:12,123 --> 00:02:14,410 I never formally congratulated you on your promotion. 52 00:02:14,535 --> 00:02:16,335 So I'd just like to say... 53 00:02:17,327 --> 00:02:18,877 "con-quack-ulations." 54 00:02:20,380 --> 00:02:21,380 That's... 55 00:02:22,298 --> 00:02:24,102 really thoughtful of you, thank you. 56 00:02:24,270 --> 00:02:25,520 You're welcome. 57 00:02:26,648 --> 00:02:29,231 I inserted a listening device into the belly of the mallard. 58 00:02:29,774 --> 00:02:31,266 Now I can observe Jim, 59 00:02:31,391 --> 00:02:33,486 trap Jim, and destroy Jim. 60 00:02:33,654 --> 00:02:35,902 Just like in the Bavarian fairy tale. 61 00:02:36,027 --> 00:02:37,089 Only this time, 62 00:02:37,214 --> 00:02:39,993 the mallard skins the toad alive. 63 00:02:41,269 --> 00:02:45,036 And of course in this version, you lose the critique of the kaiser. 64 00:02:45,542 --> 00:02:46,971 I'm sorry to have been 65 00:02:47,096 --> 00:02:48,996 bugging you all these years. 66 00:02:50,617 --> 00:02:52,711 - It's a real handsome duck. - Mallard. 67 00:02:52,836 --> 00:02:54,481 I'll get out of your hair. 68 00:03:02,430 --> 00:03:04,182 We brought back some Puerto Rican candy. 69 00:03:04,358 --> 00:03:06,059 Coco Leche. That's my favorite. 70 00:03:06,230 --> 00:03:08,228 I'll leave it here so everyone can enjoy it. 71 00:03:08,626 --> 00:03:10,355 Let me just check with Michael. 72 00:03:11,797 --> 00:03:13,233 I think it'll be okay. 73 00:03:13,910 --> 00:03:16,194 I think it will too, but I'll just check with him, though. 74 00:03:16,858 --> 00:03:17,742 Great. 75 00:03:18,686 --> 00:03:19,406 Sorry. 76 00:03:29,915 --> 00:03:31,753 I have recently taken a lover. 77 00:03:31,921 --> 00:03:33,921 That's great. Congratulations. 78 00:03:34,784 --> 00:03:37,134 - Who's the lucky lady? - Pam's mom. 79 00:03:38,717 --> 00:03:39,426 What? 80 00:03:39,597 --> 00:03:42,387 Pam's mom Helene. Remember from your wedding? 81 00:03:43,113 --> 00:03:45,140 - You're messing with me. - About what? 82 00:03:45,477 --> 00:03:47,100 You did not have sex with Pam's mom. 83 00:03:47,270 --> 00:03:48,186 Big time. 84 00:03:48,354 --> 00:03:50,842 - What car does she drive? - She drives a green Camry. 85 00:03:50,967 --> 00:03:53,167 And the seats go all the way down. 86 00:03:53,528 --> 00:03:54,566 All the way down. 87 00:03:59,121 --> 00:04:00,121 What? 88 00:04:00,366 --> 00:04:01,448 Never tell Pam. 89 00:04:01,618 --> 00:04:03,684 - And secondly... - Good, a pact. 90 00:04:05,028 --> 00:04:08,580 Although I may have to break it tonight when Helene and I tell Pam over dinner. 91 00:04:09,277 --> 00:04:10,477 You all right? 92 00:04:12,283 --> 00:04:13,712 Not now, Toby, my God! 93 00:04:14,291 --> 00:04:16,630 - Get the hell out of here, idiot. - What did I do? 94 00:04:16,814 --> 00:04:19,299 As far as dinner tonight... cancel that. 95 00:04:19,469 --> 00:04:22,135 And please, for both of our sakes, never, 96 00:04:22,444 --> 00:04:23,244 ever, 97 00:04:23,369 --> 00:04:24,888 ever see her again. 98 00:04:25,340 --> 00:04:27,057 I think you're underestimating Pam. 99 00:04:27,228 --> 00:04:29,811 I think more than anything, she wants me to be happy. 100 00:04:30,636 --> 00:04:31,813 Not more than anything. 101 00:04:32,655 --> 00:04:35,651 - I have a good thing with the mom... - Don't call her "the mom." 102 00:04:35,819 --> 00:04:38,735 - She's on my way home from work. - Then take a different way home! 103 00:04:39,942 --> 00:04:41,406 I'll take surface streets. 104 00:04:41,738 --> 00:04:44,324 The last thing in the world I would want to do is upset Pam. 105 00:04:45,286 --> 00:04:46,486 So we're good. 106 00:04:51,385 --> 00:04:54,252 Can you change my dinner reservations from four people to two? 107 00:04:55,002 --> 00:04:57,754 Is it okay if I put out some candy that Pam brought back? 108 00:04:57,925 --> 00:04:59,464 Sure. Thanks for asking. 109 00:05:00,760 --> 00:05:01,758 We're all set. 110 00:05:07,308 --> 00:05:08,308 Yum. 111 00:05:10,742 --> 00:05:11,728 Frank and Beans. 112 00:05:11,896 --> 00:05:13,196 Frank and Beans. 113 00:05:14,589 --> 00:05:16,689 So what'd we decide for Michael? 114 00:05:17,009 --> 00:05:19,711 The bottle of rum, or the seashell alarm clock? 115 00:05:19,836 --> 00:05:22,195 You know what? Can I have the weekend to decide? 116 00:05:22,858 --> 00:05:24,241 Bottle of rum it is. 117 00:05:25,817 --> 00:05:27,160 All right. Shall we? 118 00:05:27,328 --> 00:05:30,620 I am really slammed trying to catch up on everything here. 119 00:05:30,791 --> 00:05:32,622 And I know that Michael's slammed too. 120 00:05:32,954 --> 00:05:36,604 So maybe we should do this when things are a little less crazy. 121 00:05:40,668 --> 00:05:42,768 Come on, it'll take two seconds. 122 00:06:08,746 --> 00:06:11,746 That is amazing. I feel like a real Puerto rican. 123 00:06:12,373 --> 00:06:14,664 You're all set at Botticelli's. I changed the reservation. 124 00:06:14,982 --> 00:06:15,999 Erin, look. 125 00:06:16,748 --> 00:06:17,748 Fun. 126 00:06:19,881 --> 00:06:22,194 Botticelli's, that sounds like a special occasion. 127 00:06:22,319 --> 00:06:23,590 No, it's nobody. 128 00:06:25,326 --> 00:06:27,135 I think Michael has a date. 129 00:06:28,681 --> 00:06:30,578 - I think you have a date. - I don't. 130 00:06:30,703 --> 00:06:32,890 - Come on. - I think we should just drop it. 131 00:06:33,015 --> 00:06:35,103 'cause obviously he doesn't want to talk about it. 132 00:06:35,677 --> 00:06:37,496 - I don't deserve this. - Yes, you do. 133 00:06:37,621 --> 00:06:39,649 - No, I don't. - Just take the parrot. 134 00:06:42,642 --> 00:06:45,320 - Back to the old grind. - I was gonna break up with her. 135 00:06:46,199 --> 00:06:47,449 That's too bad. 136 00:06:47,742 --> 00:06:50,062 It is very complicated. There are a lot of moving parts here. 137 00:06:50,187 --> 00:06:51,445 Sounds complicated. 138 00:06:51,570 --> 00:06:55,038 If you really like this person, then you should see where it goes. 139 00:06:55,603 --> 00:06:57,749 - You want me to be happy? - Of course. 140 00:06:58,384 --> 00:06:59,626 Part of the problem is 141 00:06:59,796 --> 00:07:02,712 she is the mother of a close friend of mine. 142 00:07:04,842 --> 00:07:06,658 More than a friend. A coworker. 143 00:07:07,945 --> 00:07:08,945 Gossip. 144 00:07:09,227 --> 00:07:10,227 Who is it? 145 00:07:12,450 --> 00:07:13,307 Who is it? 146 00:07:15,770 --> 00:07:17,220 Who is it, Michael? 147 00:07:20,456 --> 00:07:21,440 Who? 148 00:07:22,250 --> 00:07:23,150 It's okay. 149 00:07:34,278 --> 00:07:36,444 That could've gone one of two ways, 150 00:07:36,569 --> 00:07:39,019 but I never expected her to get upset. 151 00:07:45,088 --> 00:07:46,190 You seem tense. 152 00:07:47,236 --> 00:07:49,182 You want me to give you the chills? 153 00:07:57,061 --> 00:08:00,730 There's an egg on your head and the yolk is running down 154 00:08:01,295 --> 00:08:03,093 - The yolk is running down - Feels good. 155 00:08:03,218 --> 00:08:04,734 There's a knife in your back 156 00:08:04,902 --> 00:08:06,723 and the blood is gushing down 157 00:08:06,848 --> 00:08:09,698 I'm sleeping with Pam's mom. Sometimes dinner. 158 00:08:11,240 --> 00:08:14,744 The blood is gushing down, the blood is gushing down 159 00:08:16,048 --> 00:08:19,621 I really would've appreciated a heads-up that you were into dating mothers. 160 00:08:19,746 --> 00:08:21,484 I would've introduced you to mine. 161 00:08:22,128 --> 00:08:23,628 How could you do this to me? 162 00:08:24,006 --> 00:08:25,156 He's my boss! 163 00:08:25,916 --> 00:08:28,916 How many times have I complained about him to you? 164 00:08:29,445 --> 00:08:32,445 No, I am not being dramatic, you are being crazy! 165 00:08:35,106 --> 00:08:37,106 Who wants a hot chocolate? 166 00:08:43,497 --> 00:08:46,567 So Dwight gave me this wooden mallard as a gift, 167 00:08:46,895 --> 00:08:48,785 and I found a recording device in it. 168 00:08:52,323 --> 00:08:54,283 I think if I played it just right, 169 00:08:54,718 --> 00:08:57,203 I can get Dwight to live out the plot of National Treasure. 170 00:08:58,444 --> 00:09:00,689 You need to be more upset about this. 171 00:09:00,814 --> 00:09:02,401 She's your mother too now. 172 00:09:04,366 --> 00:09:06,585 Your mother is sleeping with Michael Scott. 173 00:09:10,565 --> 00:09:12,265 Andy, can I talk to you? 174 00:09:12,738 --> 00:09:14,338 Sure thing, tuna boss. 175 00:09:25,858 --> 00:09:27,908 How may I be of service to you? 176 00:09:28,429 --> 00:09:31,004 I am gonna need your advice. 177 00:09:44,336 --> 00:09:46,606 I was thinking of getting this opera for Dwight's birthday. 178 00:09:46,731 --> 00:09:48,131 What do you think? 179 00:09:51,362 --> 00:09:52,862 This aria is a joke. 180 00:09:53,211 --> 00:09:54,592 What are you thinking? 181 00:09:57,974 --> 00:10:01,262 - I was gonna go with this one. - If you respect him at all, 182 00:10:01,907 --> 00:10:03,519 you will get him something better. 183 00:10:08,647 --> 00:10:10,823 Bernard Dog, what was that all about? 184 00:10:10,948 --> 00:10:13,178 - I know, right? - What were you talking about? 185 00:10:13,303 --> 00:10:15,721 Trust me, it would only make you mad. 186 00:10:28,591 --> 00:10:30,392 Due to a certain recent incident, 187 00:10:30,517 --> 00:10:33,132 corporate has asked all the branches to come up with ideas 188 00:10:33,300 --> 00:10:35,633 as to how we can better communicate 189 00:10:36,076 --> 00:10:37,786 with our communities. 190 00:10:37,911 --> 00:10:40,301 Is this because of the 60 minutes segment 191 00:10:40,426 --> 00:10:42,640 about working conditions in our Peruvian paper mill? 192 00:10:42,810 --> 00:10:44,047 That was a hit job. 193 00:10:44,172 --> 00:10:46,807 If you read the Dunder Mifflin press release, 194 00:10:46,932 --> 00:10:50,246 it clearly states that they had absolutely nothing to do 195 00:10:50,371 --> 00:10:52,193 with that particular cancer cluster. 196 00:10:53,562 --> 00:10:56,946 If there is a lesson to be learned here, and I'm not sure that there is, 197 00:10:57,116 --> 00:10:59,790 it is that in order to help our communities, 198 00:10:59,915 --> 00:11:02,660 we need to put other peoples' needs ahead of our own. 199 00:11:03,956 --> 00:11:05,946 And whoever comes up with the best idea 200 00:11:06,071 --> 00:11:08,876 gets a $50 gift certificate to the restaurant of his or her choice. 201 00:11:11,380 --> 00:11:14,547 Who wants to help the world one step at a time? 202 00:11:15,432 --> 00:11:17,635 - All right, good. - Volunteerism is important. 203 00:11:17,803 --> 00:11:19,914 Every weekend I volunteer at the local animal shelter, 204 00:11:20,039 --> 00:11:21,917 and they need a lot of help down there. 205 00:11:22,042 --> 00:11:24,934 Last Sunday, I had to put down over 150 pets all by myself. 206 00:11:26,047 --> 00:11:28,144 Paint a mural of Chicano leaders. 207 00:11:28,583 --> 00:11:30,995 I have a way to make Scranton a better place. 208 00:11:31,120 --> 00:11:32,570 You could leave it. 209 00:11:33,008 --> 00:11:35,069 Okay, I'm outta here. See you later, guys. 210 00:11:35,310 --> 00:11:37,405 - And stay out. - Promise to write. 211 00:11:37,932 --> 00:11:40,317 Oh, no, here's an idea. Conservation. 212 00:11:40,442 --> 00:11:42,142 I love it. Conservation. 213 00:11:42,318 --> 00:11:44,919 Let's start by conserving our time 214 00:11:45,044 --> 00:11:47,206 and stop having these stupid meetings. 215 00:11:48,021 --> 00:11:49,584 No more meetings! 216 00:11:56,467 --> 00:11:58,174 Anybody else? Who else has an idea? 217 00:11:58,344 --> 00:11:59,802 I have ideas about conservation. 218 00:12:02,834 --> 00:12:04,153 Hold down the fort. 219 00:12:04,278 --> 00:12:06,249 - Hey, boo. - First of all, I think that... 220 00:12:06,374 --> 00:12:09,562 - Why are you crying? - Yes, I think we should look into that. 221 00:12:09,962 --> 00:12:11,503 Speak up louder. 222 00:12:11,628 --> 00:12:13,528 Well, our profit and loss... 223 00:12:14,276 --> 00:12:15,826 No, I'll talk to her. 224 00:12:15,997 --> 00:12:17,903 Nobody talks to my baby that way. 225 00:12:19,020 --> 00:12:20,948 Yeah, I'll let you know how it goes. 226 00:12:21,764 --> 00:12:23,324 All right. Bye, pickle. 227 00:12:23,792 --> 00:12:25,042 Who's "pickle"? 228 00:12:26,379 --> 00:12:27,865 Pamela Morgan Beesly, 229 00:12:27,990 --> 00:12:30,331 you need to apologize to your mother right now. 230 00:12:30,693 --> 00:12:32,543 I'm sorry, I was told I had the floor. 231 00:12:33,796 --> 00:12:36,292 - Hold on. What's going on? - Nothing. Nothing at all. 232 00:12:36,801 --> 00:12:38,174 It's all good. 233 00:12:38,342 --> 00:12:40,342 I'm not apologizing to anyone. 234 00:12:41,048 --> 00:12:42,635 Michael owes me an apology. 235 00:12:42,902 --> 00:12:44,929 For trying to find happiness in the arms of a lover? 236 00:12:45,099 --> 00:12:46,773 Don't call my mother your lover! 237 00:12:46,898 --> 00:12:49,101 Oh, yes! That's what I'm talking about. 238 00:12:49,269 --> 00:12:51,145 That is not okay, dude. 239 00:12:51,314 --> 00:12:53,146 - In my defense... - Disgusting. 240 00:12:53,271 --> 00:12:56,525 - That's messed up, man. - Thanks. Welcome to my personal hell. 241 00:12:56,693 --> 00:12:58,941 - You have no sense of boundaries. - Shut up, Oscar. 242 00:12:59,717 --> 00:13:02,990 Clearly I'm outnumbered here. But could I just say one thing? 243 00:13:03,933 --> 00:13:04,933 Please? 244 00:13:05,505 --> 00:13:07,305 What is so wrong about me? 245 00:13:08,156 --> 00:13:09,206 I'm caring. 246 00:13:09,921 --> 00:13:11,071 I'm generous. 247 00:13:12,956 --> 00:13:13,958 I'm sensual. 248 00:13:15,164 --> 00:13:17,177 Is it really so horrible 249 00:13:18,077 --> 00:13:21,608 that I could possibly go out and find happiness? 250 00:13:26,233 --> 00:13:27,462 Good luck, Michael. 251 00:13:27,587 --> 00:13:29,682 I hope you find what you're looking for. 252 00:13:30,104 --> 00:13:32,410 - Maybe you're right. Who are we to... - Shut up, Oscar. 253 00:13:32,535 --> 00:13:36,523 What is wrong with all of you? He is sleeping with my mother! 254 00:13:36,775 --> 00:13:38,776 I don't think there's a lot of sleeping going on. 255 00:13:38,945 --> 00:13:40,945 Let's get back to the matter at hand. 256 00:13:41,208 --> 00:13:42,457 Whatever. You know. 257 00:13:42,582 --> 00:13:44,782 Sleep with my mom, sleep with everybody's mom. 258 00:13:46,076 --> 00:13:48,494 - You're talking about my mom. - I don't like the tone here. 259 00:13:49,118 --> 00:13:51,287 This is a place of business. You are to listen to others, 260 00:13:51,757 --> 00:13:55,501 you are to give others respect, and keep your personal issues out of it. 261 00:13:56,235 --> 00:14:00,074 - Oh, my god, you are ridiculous! - Do not talk to me that way! 262 00:14:00,199 --> 00:14:03,724 I am your boss, and I may someday be your father, so get out. 263 00:14:03,849 --> 00:14:06,345 You are never gonna be my father. You get out. 264 00:14:06,985 --> 00:14:09,722 I hope that you are willing to die in this office, because I am. 265 00:14:11,416 --> 00:14:12,416 Me too. 266 00:14:17,425 --> 00:14:19,400 Pam, how's your day going? 267 00:14:19,821 --> 00:14:22,797 Pam, just for the record, I think you're overreacting a bit. 268 00:14:22,922 --> 00:14:24,864 Your mom's old enough to make her own decisions. 269 00:14:25,033 --> 00:14:26,976 Oh, well, thanks, Oscar. 270 00:14:27,101 --> 00:14:30,326 I was just wondering, how would you feel if Michael was sleeping with your mom? 271 00:14:30,497 --> 00:14:31,953 My mother's in a wheelchair. 272 00:14:33,180 --> 00:14:34,707 Well, he could still... 273 00:14:36,939 --> 00:14:38,489 I'm sorry about that. 274 00:14:40,005 --> 00:14:42,891 Could I just get you to sign this second page as well? 275 00:14:43,784 --> 00:14:45,612 I have to ask you a personal question. 276 00:14:45,737 --> 00:14:49,389 - Should I get a fedora? - I don't think so, no. 277 00:14:49,935 --> 00:14:52,443 Why? I think I'd look really hot in one. Where'd you get your fedora? 278 00:14:52,568 --> 00:14:53,861 I'd rather not say. 279 00:14:53,986 --> 00:14:56,145 You think I'm gonna get the same fedora as you? 280 00:14:58,957 --> 00:15:01,672 - I think I would look really cute... - It has to go with the persona. 281 00:15:02,621 --> 00:15:05,154 - Where did you get that mallard? - What the hell is a mallard? 282 00:15:06,928 --> 00:15:08,828 Oh, Professor Damon D. Duck. 283 00:15:09,010 --> 00:15:10,283 Jim gave him to me. 284 00:15:10,453 --> 00:15:13,746 - It was a gift. I'm taking that back. - If you take it back, I'll scream. 285 00:15:16,657 --> 00:15:18,416 - I'll give you 5 bucks for it. - 20. 286 00:15:19,264 --> 00:15:20,514 - Ten. - Deal. 287 00:15:25,169 --> 00:15:26,419 You're so cool. 288 00:15:26,659 --> 00:15:29,609 This reminds me, you owe me three bucks for gas. 289 00:15:31,094 --> 00:15:33,514 - Could I talk to you for a minute? - Yeah, sure. 290 00:15:34,088 --> 00:15:37,375 I just wanted to apologize for taking that tone with you earlier. 291 00:15:37,500 --> 00:15:39,395 That was uncalled for. I'm sorry. 292 00:15:41,561 --> 00:15:43,609 That means a lot. Thank you for saying it. 293 00:15:43,777 --> 00:15:46,177 - Can I sit down for a sec? - Yeah, or pull up a chair and sit. 294 00:15:46,302 --> 00:15:47,752 Or on the shredder. 295 00:15:51,148 --> 00:15:52,878 This is gonna sound weird, 296 00:15:53,879 --> 00:15:55,362 but I think I may be 297 00:15:55,487 --> 00:15:58,831 the victim of a hostile work environment with this whole Pam situation. 298 00:15:59,304 --> 00:16:02,043 Should probably deal with that outside of the workplace. 299 00:16:02,213 --> 00:16:03,811 She brought it into the workplace, 300 00:16:03,936 --> 00:16:05,880 so I feel like it has to be dealt with here. 301 00:16:08,280 --> 00:16:10,816 - I could talk to her. - Really? Would you do that? 302 00:16:11,918 --> 00:16:14,188 That's why they pay me the big bucks. 303 00:16:18,937 --> 00:16:20,637 You're a good, good guy. 304 00:16:23,275 --> 00:16:25,745 I always knew if Michael just took the time to get to know me, 305 00:16:25,870 --> 00:16:27,318 we'd become friends. 306 00:16:30,095 --> 00:16:31,572 Could I talk to you for a sec? 307 00:16:32,991 --> 00:16:34,702 Sure. What's up? 308 00:16:35,120 --> 00:16:36,771 Well, I was hoping that 309 00:16:36,896 --> 00:16:38,906 maybe in light of everything that's happened today, 310 00:16:39,031 --> 00:16:41,577 it'd be a good idea for you and me and Michael 311 00:16:41,702 --> 00:16:44,377 to head into the conference room for some conflict resolution. 312 00:16:44,548 --> 00:16:47,485 What's the matter, can't fight your own battles? 313 00:16:48,796 --> 00:16:51,010 I think you should just take the rest of the day off. 314 00:16:51,178 --> 00:16:53,177 Oh, would that make you feel better? 315 00:16:53,823 --> 00:16:55,346 I can't hear your conversation. 316 00:16:55,701 --> 00:16:58,351 You can tell Michael that I'm not leaving. 317 00:17:03,785 --> 00:17:06,535 Buddy, I think that we can't make her leave, so... 318 00:17:06,660 --> 00:17:08,059 You're a jackass. 319 00:17:08,184 --> 00:17:10,530 You know what? You're just as stubborn as your mother. 320 00:17:10,974 --> 00:17:14,240 When you don't want to do something, you just don't do it. 321 00:17:14,410 --> 00:17:15,658 You're just her rebound! 322 00:17:15,829 --> 00:17:17,407 You were right, Jim. 323 00:17:17,532 --> 00:17:19,370 Should never have told her. 324 00:17:19,541 --> 00:17:21,248 What? You knew? 325 00:17:22,844 --> 00:17:24,146 Barely. I... 326 00:17:25,489 --> 00:17:27,339 I don't have all the facts. 327 00:17:27,792 --> 00:17:29,192 Frank and Beans... 328 00:17:34,091 --> 00:17:36,412 If I stop dating your mom, are we gonna get past this? 329 00:17:36,537 --> 00:17:37,737 'cause I will. 330 00:17:40,316 --> 00:17:43,269 - Well, that is not gonna happen! - Then why'd you even offer? 331 00:17:43,439 --> 00:17:45,992 Because I assumed that you want me to be happy 332 00:17:46,117 --> 00:17:48,429 because I want you to be happy. 333 00:17:49,372 --> 00:17:51,367 Let me make this very easy for you. 334 00:17:51,492 --> 00:17:53,595 I could give a *** about your happiness! 335 00:17:53,720 --> 00:17:55,448 Stop dating my mother! 336 00:17:57,160 --> 00:17:59,160 I'm gonna start dating her even harder. 337 00:17:59,443 --> 00:18:02,288 - What's that supposed to mean? - You know what it means. 338 00:18:08,543 --> 00:18:09,543 Shove it. 339 00:18:11,551 --> 00:18:13,626 I don't need to be friends with Pam. 340 00:18:13,909 --> 00:18:15,563 I have plenty of female friends. 341 00:18:15,688 --> 00:18:16,688 My mom, 342 00:18:17,181 --> 00:18:18,181 Pam's mom, 343 00:18:19,083 --> 00:18:22,081 my aunt... although she just blocked me on I.M. 344 00:18:22,799 --> 00:18:26,249 What's-her-face from Quiznos. I see her four times a week. 345 00:18:32,522 --> 00:18:34,531 Dwight, you brought the mallard back. 346 00:18:34,656 --> 00:18:37,206 Well, I had to. I mean, Kelly was not... 347 00:18:37,935 --> 00:18:39,158 Hi, buddy. 348 00:18:52,764 --> 00:18:54,383 - I'm sorry. - A wooden duck? 349 00:18:54,551 --> 00:18:55,551 Mallard. 350 00:18:57,431 --> 00:19:00,331 I put it in your office in order to surveil you. 351 00:19:01,324 --> 00:19:03,392 I was jealous that you got the promotion over me. 352 00:19:04,114 --> 00:19:06,359 Just to be clear, you're terrible at this. 353 00:19:06,484 --> 00:19:09,487 - You're not equipped for espionage. - Oh, I'm equipped. I can es... 354 00:19:10,726 --> 00:19:12,685 - Don't tell Michael. - I wont. 355 00:19:13,077 --> 00:19:15,279 But you will wash and buff our car. 356 00:19:16,034 --> 00:19:18,384 Punishment fits the crime. I accept. 357 00:19:19,832 --> 00:19:21,382 Good night, everyone. 358 00:19:22,410 --> 00:19:23,494 Good night, Pam. 359 00:19:24,129 --> 00:19:25,581 Thanks again for the rum. 360 00:19:27,617 --> 00:19:29,545 - Night, Michael. - Good night, Erin. 361 00:19:33,427 --> 00:19:35,055 Can I see you for a second? 362 00:19:39,118 --> 00:19:42,281 So Dwight heard you were having a really rough day, 363 00:19:42,406 --> 00:19:44,765 so he generously offered to wash our car. 364 00:19:47,312 --> 00:19:49,924 - He did that for me? - Yes. He did. 365 00:19:52,203 --> 00:19:53,853 You know what was nice? 366 00:19:54,055 --> 00:19:55,855 Night swimming in Bio Bay. 367 00:19:56,698 --> 00:20:00,548 Remember that older couple whose kids were also named Jim and Pam? 368 00:20:03,427 --> 00:20:04,977 Say more nice things. 369 00:20:05,951 --> 00:20:07,653 We went on a Segway tour. 370 00:20:07,778 --> 00:20:09,939 - And we're awesome at it. - Yes, we are. 371 00:20:11,221 --> 00:20:12,521 Frank and Beans. 372 00:20:15,603 --> 00:20:16,964 Maybe I'm overreacting. 373 00:20:18,548 --> 00:20:19,548 Maybe. 374 00:20:20,392 --> 00:20:22,921 - But I don't think I am. - You're not. Nope. 375 00:20:28,839 --> 00:20:30,589 Where'd you get that hat? 376 00:20:30,758 --> 00:20:32,208 I'd rather not say. 377 00:20:55,440 --> 00:20:58,203 We have our high-quality 28-pound bond, 378 00:20:58,328 --> 00:21:00,563 our heavier 38-pound bond, 379 00:21:01,382 --> 00:21:03,201 or our s... 380 00:21:03,875 --> 00:21:05,825 I've got eight hours of this. 381 00:21:07,855 --> 00:21:09,800 Of course I wanted Jim to find the mallard. 382 00:21:09,925 --> 00:21:11,375 Make him feel safe. 383 00:21:12,052 --> 00:21:15,416 Did you really think I would put my primary listening device 384 00:21:15,541 --> 00:21:17,041 in a wooden mallard? 385 00:21:18,127 --> 00:21:19,377 I'm not insane. 386 00:21:20,990 --> 00:21:23,753 65-pound cover stock, which is the heaviest paper 387 00:21:23,878 --> 00:21:25,912 that will still feed through your desktop printer.