1
00:00:02,865 --> 00:00:04,015
They're back.
2
00:00:09,366 --> 00:00:11,679
How was Puerto Rico?
Was it so romantic?
3
00:00:11,848 --> 00:00:13,720
- It really was.
- Really was.
4
00:00:13,977 --> 00:00:15,527
I'm so happy for you.
5
00:00:15,852 --> 00:00:17,187
Puerto Rico was awesome.
6
00:00:17,312 --> 00:00:19,102
My gosh, the honeymoon was great.
7
00:00:19,227 --> 00:00:21,608
We met this other couple at the resort,
Frank and Benny.
8
00:00:21,733 --> 00:00:23,213
We hung out with them a lot.
9
00:00:23,338 --> 00:00:24,802
Frank and Beans.
10
00:00:25,861 --> 00:00:27,505
Always makes her laugh.
11
00:00:27,630 --> 00:00:29,310
Frank and Beans.
12
00:00:30,808 --> 00:00:32,074
Is there someone there?
13
00:00:32,395 --> 00:00:33,490
Who is there?
14
00:00:33,660 --> 00:00:35,810
I hear voices, is somebody there?
15
00:00:36,705 --> 00:00:37,817
Is someone here?
16
00:00:37,942 --> 00:00:39,242
I can't see you.
17
00:00:39,519 --> 00:00:41,081
Because I'm blind.
18
00:00:41,251 --> 00:00:42,792
It's Jim and Pam.
19
00:00:42,917 --> 00:00:43,917
It is?
20
00:00:44,170 --> 00:00:45,320
They're back?
21
00:00:54,180 --> 00:00:56,085
I haven't seen you since my...
22
00:00:56,210 --> 00:00:57,660
accident that I had
23
00:00:58,250 --> 00:00:59,450
when I fell...
24
00:00:59,880 --> 00:01:02,269
I fell into the pool of acid,
25
00:01:02,582 --> 00:01:03,632
eyes-first.
26
00:01:04,815 --> 00:01:05,607
Blind guy.
27
00:01:07,404 --> 00:01:08,898
Blind guy McSqueezy.
28
00:01:09,199 --> 00:01:12,064
How do I describe it?
It is a character I've been workshopping
29
00:01:12,189 --> 00:01:13,689
whose lack of vision
30
00:01:13,889 --> 00:01:15,617
gets him into all sorts of trouble.
31
00:01:16,336 --> 00:01:19,336
The women in my improv class
absolutely hate him.
32
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So what'd you bring us?
33
00:01:24,948 --> 00:01:25,878
Some candy.
34
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- What else?
- That's it.
35
00:01:28,520 --> 00:01:30,756
'Cause you spent so much
on the wedding.
36
00:01:34,983 --> 00:01:36,178
It's good to be home.
37
00:01:36,348 --> 00:01:38,807
- Feygnasse Team -
38
00:01:38,975 --> 00:01:41,852
.:: La Fabrique ::.
39
00:01:42,454 --> 00:01:44,599
Collioure
40
00:01:45,067 --> 00:01:46,755
Jarick
41
00:01:47,067 --> 00:01:48,482
loky
42
00:01:48,652 --> 00:01:49,985
Sk0r
43
00:01:50,153 --> 00:01:51,777
yomoy
The Ni.Knight
44
00:01:55,162 --> 00:01:56,783
Episode 6x06
The Lover
45
00:01:58,265 --> 00:02:00,327
This conversation
has two items on the agenda.
46
00:02:00,498 --> 00:02:02,080
Do we have a conversation scheduled?
47
00:02:02,248 --> 00:02:04,790
Number one,
do not leave your things on my desk.
48
00:02:04,915 --> 00:02:07,377
It's not some kind
of personal pen receptacle for you.
49
00:02:07,545 --> 00:02:09,294
I don't care
how high they promote you.
50
00:02:09,464 --> 00:02:11,411
Which brings me
to item number two.
51
00:02:12,123 --> 00:02:14,410
I never formally congratulated you
on your promotion.
52
00:02:14,535 --> 00:02:16,335
So I'd just like to say...
53
00:02:17,327 --> 00:02:18,877
"con-quack-ulations."
54
00:02:20,380 --> 00:02:21,380
That's...
55
00:02:22,298 --> 00:02:24,102
really thoughtful of you, thank you.
56
00:02:24,270 --> 00:02:25,520
You're welcome.
57
00:02:26,648 --> 00:02:29,231
I inserted a listening device
into the belly of the mallard.
58
00:02:29,774 --> 00:02:31,266
Now I can observe Jim,
59
00:02:31,391 --> 00:02:33,486
trap Jim, and destroy Jim.
60
00:02:33,654 --> 00:02:35,902
Just like
in the Bavarian fairy tale.
61
00:02:36,027 --> 00:02:37,089
Only this time,
62
00:02:37,214 --> 00:02:39,993
the mallard skins the toad alive.
63
00:02:41,269 --> 00:02:45,036
And of course in this version,
you lose the critique of the kaiser.
64
00:02:45,542 --> 00:02:46,971
I'm sorry to have been
65
00:02:47,096 --> 00:02:48,996
bugging you all these years.
66
00:02:50,617 --> 00:02:52,711
- It's a real handsome duck.
- Mallard.
67
00:02:52,836 --> 00:02:54,481
I'll get out of your hair.
68
00:03:02,430 --> 00:03:04,182
We brought back
some Puerto Rican candy.
69
00:03:04,358 --> 00:03:06,059
Coco Leche.
That's my favorite.
70
00:03:06,230 --> 00:03:08,228
I'll leave it here
so everyone can enjoy it.
71
00:03:08,626 --> 00:03:10,355
Let me just check with Michael.
72
00:03:11,797 --> 00:03:13,233
I think it'll be okay.
73
00:03:13,910 --> 00:03:16,194
I think it will too,
but I'll just check with him, though.
74
00:03:16,858 --> 00:03:17,742
Great.
75
00:03:18,686 --> 00:03:19,406
Sorry.
76
00:03:29,915 --> 00:03:31,753
I have recently taken a lover.
77
00:03:31,921 --> 00:03:33,921
That's great. Congratulations.
78
00:03:34,784 --> 00:03:37,134
- Who's the lucky lady?
- Pam's mom.
79
00:03:38,717 --> 00:03:39,426
What?
80
00:03:39,597 --> 00:03:42,387
Pam's mom Helene.
Remember from your wedding?
81
00:03:43,113 --> 00:03:45,140
- You're messing with me.
- About what?
82
00:03:45,477 --> 00:03:47,100
You did not have sex with Pam's mom.
83
00:03:47,270 --> 00:03:48,186
Big time.
84
00:03:48,354 --> 00:03:50,842
- What car does she drive?
- She drives a green Camry.
85
00:03:50,967 --> 00:03:53,167
And the seats go all the way down.
86
00:03:53,528 --> 00:03:54,566
All the way down.
87
00:03:59,121 --> 00:04:00,121
What?
88
00:04:00,366 --> 00:04:01,448
Never tell Pam.
89
00:04:01,618 --> 00:04:03,684
- And secondly...
- Good, a pact.
90
00:04:05,028 --> 00:04:08,580
Although I may have to break it tonight
when Helene and I tell Pam over dinner.
91
00:04:09,277 --> 00:04:10,477
You all right?
92
00:04:12,283 --> 00:04:13,712
Not now, Toby, my God!
93
00:04:14,291 --> 00:04:16,630
- Get the hell out of here, idiot.
- What did I do?
94
00:04:16,814 --> 00:04:19,299
As far as dinner tonight...
cancel that.
95
00:04:19,469 --> 00:04:22,135
And please,
for both of our sakes, never,
96
00:04:22,444 --> 00:04:23,244
ever,
97
00:04:23,369 --> 00:04:24,888
ever see her again.
98
00:04:25,340 --> 00:04:27,057
I think you're underestimating Pam.
99
00:04:27,228 --> 00:04:29,811
I think more than anything,
she wants me to be happy.
100
00:04:30,636 --> 00:04:31,813
Not more than anything.
101
00:04:32,655 --> 00:04:35,651
- I have a good thing with the mom...
- Don't call her "the mom."
102
00:04:35,819 --> 00:04:38,735
- She's on my way home from work.
- Then take a different way home!
103
00:04:39,942 --> 00:04:41,406
I'll take surface streets.
104
00:04:41,738 --> 00:04:44,324
The last thing in the world
I would want to do is upset Pam.
105
00:04:45,286 --> 00:04:46,486
So we're good.
106
00:04:51,385 --> 00:04:54,252
Can you change my dinner reservations
from four people to two?
107
00:04:55,002 --> 00:04:57,754
Is it okay if I put out some candy
that Pam brought back?
108
00:04:57,925 --> 00:04:59,464
Sure. Thanks for asking.
109
00:05:00,760 --> 00:05:01,758
We're all set.
110
00:05:07,308 --> 00:05:08,308
Yum.
111
00:05:10,742 --> 00:05:11,728
Frank and Beans.
112
00:05:11,896 --> 00:05:13,196
Frank and Beans.
113
00:05:14,589 --> 00:05:16,689
So what'd we decide for Michael?
114
00:05:17,009 --> 00:05:19,711
The bottle of rum,
or the seashell alarm clock?
115
00:05:19,836 --> 00:05:22,195
You know what?
Can I have the weekend to decide?
116
00:05:22,858 --> 00:05:24,241
Bottle of rum it is.
117
00:05:25,817 --> 00:05:27,160
All right. Shall we?
118
00:05:27,328 --> 00:05:30,620
I am really slammed
trying to catch up on everything here.
119
00:05:30,791 --> 00:05:32,622
And I know
that Michael's slammed too.
120
00:05:32,954 --> 00:05:36,604
So maybe we should do this
when things are a little less crazy.
121
00:05:40,668 --> 00:05:42,768
Come on, it'll take two seconds.
122
00:06:08,746 --> 00:06:11,746
That is amazing.
I feel like a real Puerto rican.
123
00:06:12,373 --> 00:06:14,664
You're all set at Botticelli's.
I changed the reservation.
124
00:06:14,982 --> 00:06:15,999
Erin, look.
125
00:06:16,748 --> 00:06:17,748
Fun.
126
00:06:19,881 --> 00:06:22,194
Botticelli's,
that sounds like a special occasion.
127
00:06:22,319 --> 00:06:23,590
No, it's nobody.
128
00:06:25,326 --> 00:06:27,135
I think Michael has a date.
129
00:06:28,681 --> 00:06:30,578
- I think you have a date.
- I don't.
130
00:06:30,703 --> 00:06:32,890
- Come on.
- I think we should just drop it.
131
00:06:33,015 --> 00:06:35,103
'cause obviously
he doesn't want to talk about it.
132
00:06:35,677 --> 00:06:37,496
- I don't deserve this.
- Yes, you do.
133
00:06:37,621 --> 00:06:39,649
- No, I don't.
- Just take the parrot.
134
00:06:42,642 --> 00:06:45,320
- Back to the old grind.
- I was gonna break up with her.
135
00:06:46,199 --> 00:06:47,449
That's too bad.
136
00:06:47,742 --> 00:06:50,062
It is very complicated.
There are a lot of moving parts here.
137
00:06:50,187 --> 00:06:51,445
Sounds complicated.
138
00:06:51,570 --> 00:06:55,038
If you really like this person,
then you should see where it goes.
139
00:06:55,603 --> 00:06:57,749
- You want me to be happy?
- Of course.
140
00:06:58,384 --> 00:06:59,626
Part of the problem is
141
00:06:59,796 --> 00:07:02,712
she is the mother
of a close friend of mine.
142
00:07:04,842 --> 00:07:06,658
More than a friend.
A coworker.
143
00:07:07,945 --> 00:07:08,945
Gossip.
144
00:07:09,227 --> 00:07:10,227
Who is it?
145
00:07:12,450 --> 00:07:13,307
Who is it?
146
00:07:15,770 --> 00:07:17,220
Who is it, Michael?
147
00:07:20,456 --> 00:07:21,440
Who?
148
00:07:22,250 --> 00:07:23,150
It's okay.
149
00:07:34,278 --> 00:07:36,444
That could've gone one of two ways,
150
00:07:36,569 --> 00:07:39,019
but I never expected her
to get upset.
151
00:07:45,088 --> 00:07:46,190
You seem tense.
152
00:07:47,236 --> 00:07:49,182
You want me to give you the chills?
153
00:07:57,061 --> 00:08:00,730
There's an egg on your head
and the yolk is running down
154
00:08:01,295 --> 00:08:03,093
- The yolk is running down
- Feels good.
155
00:08:03,218 --> 00:08:04,734
There's a knife in your back
156
00:08:04,902 --> 00:08:06,723
and the blood is gushing down
157
00:08:06,848 --> 00:08:09,698
I'm sleeping with Pam's mom.
Sometimes dinner.
158
00:08:11,240 --> 00:08:14,744
The blood is gushing down,
the blood is gushing down
159
00:08:16,048 --> 00:08:19,621
I really would've appreciated a heads-up
that you were into dating mothers.
160
00:08:19,746 --> 00:08:21,484
I would've introduced you to mine.
161
00:08:22,128 --> 00:08:23,628
How could you do this to me?
162
00:08:24,006 --> 00:08:25,156
He's my boss!
163
00:08:25,916 --> 00:08:28,916
How many times
have I complained about him to you?
164
00:08:29,445 --> 00:08:32,445
No, I am not being dramatic,
you are being crazy!
165
00:08:35,106 --> 00:08:37,106
Who wants a hot chocolate?
166
00:08:43,497 --> 00:08:46,567
So Dwight gave me
this wooden mallard as a gift,
167
00:08:46,895 --> 00:08:48,785
and I found
a recording device in it.
168
00:08:52,323 --> 00:08:54,283
I think if I played it just right,
169
00:08:54,718 --> 00:08:57,203
I can get Dwight to live out
the plot of National Treasure.
170
00:08:58,444 --> 00:09:00,689
You need to be
more upset about this.
171
00:09:00,814 --> 00:09:02,401
She's your mother too now.
172
00:09:04,366 --> 00:09:06,585
Your mother is sleeping
with Michael Scott.
173
00:09:10,565 --> 00:09:12,265
Andy, can I talk to you?
174
00:09:12,738 --> 00:09:14,338
Sure thing, tuna boss.
175
00:09:25,858 --> 00:09:27,908
How may I be of service to you?
176
00:09:28,429 --> 00:09:31,004
I am gonna need your advice.
177
00:09:44,336 --> 00:09:46,606
I was thinking of getting
this opera for Dwight's birthday.
178
00:09:46,731 --> 00:09:48,131
What do you think?
179
00:09:51,362 --> 00:09:52,862
This aria is a joke.
180
00:09:53,211 --> 00:09:54,592
What are you thinking?
181
00:09:57,974 --> 00:10:01,262
- I was gonna go with this one.
- If you respect him at all,
182
00:10:01,907 --> 00:10:03,519
you will get him something better.
183
00:10:08,647 --> 00:10:10,823
Bernard Dog,
what was that all about?
184
00:10:10,948 --> 00:10:13,178
- I know, right?
- What were you talking about?
185
00:10:13,303 --> 00:10:15,721
Trust me,
it would only make you mad.
186
00:10:28,591 --> 00:10:30,392
Due to a certain recent incident,
187
00:10:30,517 --> 00:10:33,132
corporate has asked all the branches
to come up with ideas
188
00:10:33,300 --> 00:10:35,633
as to how we can better communicate
189
00:10:36,076 --> 00:10:37,786
with our communities.
190
00:10:37,911 --> 00:10:40,301
Is this because
of the 60 minutes segment
191
00:10:40,426 --> 00:10:42,640
about working conditions
in our Peruvian paper mill?
192
00:10:42,810 --> 00:10:44,047
That was a hit job.
193
00:10:44,172 --> 00:10:46,807
If you read
the Dunder Mifflin press release,
194
00:10:46,932 --> 00:10:50,246
it clearly states
that they had absolutely nothing to do
195
00:10:50,371 --> 00:10:52,193
with that particular cancer cluster.
196
00:10:53,562 --> 00:10:56,946
If there is a lesson to be learned here,
and I'm not sure that there is,
197
00:10:57,116 --> 00:10:59,790
it is that in order to help
our communities,
198
00:10:59,915 --> 00:11:02,660
we need to put
other peoples' needs ahead of our own.
199
00:11:03,956 --> 00:11:05,946
And whoever comes up
with the best idea
200
00:11:06,071 --> 00:11:08,876
gets a $50 gift certificate
to the restaurant of his or her choice.
201
00:11:11,380 --> 00:11:14,547
Who wants to help the world
one step at a time?
202
00:11:15,432 --> 00:11:17,635
- All right, good.
- Volunteerism is important.
203
00:11:17,803 --> 00:11:19,914
Every weekend I volunteer
at the local animal shelter,
204
00:11:20,039 --> 00:11:21,917
and they need a lot of help
down there.
205
00:11:22,042 --> 00:11:24,934
Last Sunday, I had to put down
over 150 pets all by myself.
206
00:11:26,047 --> 00:11:28,144
Paint a mural of Chicano leaders.
207
00:11:28,583 --> 00:11:30,995
I have a way
to make Scranton a better place.
208
00:11:31,120 --> 00:11:32,570
You could leave it.
209
00:11:33,008 --> 00:11:35,069
Okay, I'm outta here.
See you later, guys.
210
00:11:35,310 --> 00:11:37,405
- And stay out.
- Promise to write.
211
00:11:37,932 --> 00:11:40,317
Oh, no, here's an idea.
Conservation.
212
00:11:40,442 --> 00:11:42,142
I love it. Conservation.
213
00:11:42,318 --> 00:11:44,919
Let's start by conserving our time
214
00:11:45,044 --> 00:11:47,206
and stop having
these stupid meetings.
215
00:11:48,021 --> 00:11:49,584
No more meetings!
216
00:11:56,467 --> 00:11:58,174
Anybody else?
Who else has an idea?
217
00:11:58,344 --> 00:11:59,802
I have ideas about conservation.
218
00:12:02,834 --> 00:12:04,153
Hold down the fort.
219
00:12:04,278 --> 00:12:06,249
- Hey, boo.
- First of all, I think that...
220
00:12:06,374 --> 00:12:09,562
- Why are you crying?
- Yes, I think we should look into that.
221
00:12:09,962 --> 00:12:11,503
Speak up louder.
222
00:12:11,628 --> 00:12:13,528
Well, our profit and loss...
223
00:12:14,276 --> 00:12:15,826
No, I'll talk to her.
224
00:12:15,997 --> 00:12:17,903
Nobody talks to my baby that way.
225
00:12:19,020 --> 00:12:20,948
Yeah, I'll let you know how it goes.
226
00:12:21,764 --> 00:12:23,324
All right. Bye, pickle.
227
00:12:23,792 --> 00:12:25,042
Who's "pickle"?
228
00:12:26,379 --> 00:12:27,865
Pamela Morgan Beesly,
229
00:12:27,990 --> 00:12:30,331
you need to apologize
to your mother right now.
230
00:12:30,693 --> 00:12:32,543
I'm sorry,
I was told I had the floor.
231
00:12:33,796 --> 00:12:36,292
- Hold on. What's going on?
- Nothing. Nothing at all.
232
00:12:36,801 --> 00:12:38,174
It's all good.
233
00:12:38,342 --> 00:12:40,342
I'm not apologizing to anyone.
234
00:12:41,048 --> 00:12:42,635
Michael owes me an apology.
235
00:12:42,902 --> 00:12:44,929
For trying to find happiness
in the arms of a lover?
236
00:12:45,099 --> 00:12:46,773
Don't call my mother your lover!
237
00:12:46,898 --> 00:12:49,101
Oh, yes!
That's what I'm talking about.
238
00:12:49,269 --> 00:12:51,145
That is not okay, dude.
239
00:12:51,314 --> 00:12:53,146
- In my defense...
- Disgusting.
240
00:12:53,271 --> 00:12:56,525
- That's messed up, man.
- Thanks. Welcome to my personal hell.
241
00:12:56,693 --> 00:12:58,941
- You have no sense of boundaries.
- Shut up, Oscar.
242
00:12:59,717 --> 00:13:02,990
Clearly I'm outnumbered here.
But could I just say one thing?
243
00:13:03,933 --> 00:13:04,933
Please?
244
00:13:05,505 --> 00:13:07,305
What is so wrong about me?
245
00:13:08,156 --> 00:13:09,206
I'm caring.
246
00:13:09,921 --> 00:13:11,071
I'm generous.
247
00:13:12,956 --> 00:13:13,958
I'm sensual.
248
00:13:15,164 --> 00:13:17,177
Is it really so horrible
249
00:13:18,077 --> 00:13:21,608
that I could possibly go out
and find happiness?
250
00:13:26,233 --> 00:13:27,462
Good luck, Michael.
251
00:13:27,587 --> 00:13:29,682
I hope you find
what you're looking for.
252
00:13:30,104 --> 00:13:32,410
- Maybe you're right. Who are we to...
- Shut up, Oscar.
253
00:13:32,535 --> 00:13:36,523
What is wrong with all of you?
He is sleeping with my mother!
254
00:13:36,775 --> 00:13:38,776
I don't think
there's a lot of sleeping going on.
255
00:13:38,945 --> 00:13:40,945
Let's get back
to the matter at hand.
256
00:13:41,208 --> 00:13:42,457
Whatever. You know.
257
00:13:42,582 --> 00:13:44,782
Sleep with my mom,
sleep with everybody's mom.
258
00:13:46,076 --> 00:13:48,494
- You're talking about my mom.
- I don't like the tone here.
259
00:13:49,118 --> 00:13:51,287
This is a place of business.
You are to listen to others,
260
00:13:51,757 --> 00:13:55,501
you are to give others respect,
and keep your personal issues out of it.
261
00:13:56,235 --> 00:14:00,074
- Oh, my god, you are ridiculous!
- Do not talk to me that way!
262
00:14:00,199 --> 00:14:03,724
I am your boss, and I may someday
be your father, so get out.
263
00:14:03,849 --> 00:14:06,345
You are never gonna be my father.
You get out.
264
00:14:06,985 --> 00:14:09,722
I hope that you are willing
to die in this office, because I am.
265
00:14:11,416 --> 00:14:12,416
Me too.
266
00:14:17,425 --> 00:14:19,400
Pam, how's your day going?
267
00:14:19,821 --> 00:14:22,797
Pam, just for the record,
I think you're overreacting a bit.
268
00:14:22,922 --> 00:14:24,864
Your mom's old enough
to make her own decisions.
269
00:14:25,033 --> 00:14:26,976
Oh, well, thanks, Oscar.
270
00:14:27,101 --> 00:14:30,326
I was just wondering, how would you feel
if Michael was sleeping with your mom?
271
00:14:30,497 --> 00:14:31,953
My mother's in a wheelchair.
272
00:14:33,180 --> 00:14:34,707
Well, he could still...
273
00:14:36,939 --> 00:14:38,489
I'm sorry about that.
274
00:14:40,005 --> 00:14:42,891
Could I just get you
to sign this second page as well?
275
00:14:43,784 --> 00:14:45,612
I have to ask you
a personal question.
276
00:14:45,737 --> 00:14:49,389
- Should I get a fedora?
- I don't think so, no.
277
00:14:49,935 --> 00:14:52,443
Why? I think I'd look really hot in one.
Where'd you get your fedora?
278
00:14:52,568 --> 00:14:53,861
I'd rather not say.
279
00:14:53,986 --> 00:14:56,145
You think I'm gonna get
the same fedora as you?
280
00:14:58,957 --> 00:15:01,672
- I think I would look really cute...
- It has to go with the persona.
281
00:15:02,621 --> 00:15:05,154
- Where did you get that mallard?
- What the hell is a mallard?
282
00:15:06,928 --> 00:15:08,828
Oh, Professor Damon D. Duck.
283
00:15:09,010 --> 00:15:10,283
Jim gave him to me.
284
00:15:10,453 --> 00:15:13,746
- It was a gift. I'm taking that back.
- If you take it back, I'll scream.
285
00:15:16,657 --> 00:15:18,416
- I'll give you 5 bucks for it.
- 20.
286
00:15:19,264 --> 00:15:20,514
- Ten.
- Deal.
287
00:15:25,169 --> 00:15:26,419
You're so cool.
288
00:15:26,659 --> 00:15:29,609
This reminds me,
you owe me three bucks for gas.
289
00:15:31,094 --> 00:15:33,514
- Could I talk to you for a minute?
- Yeah, sure.
290
00:15:34,088 --> 00:15:37,375
I just wanted to apologize
for taking that tone with you earlier.
291
00:15:37,500 --> 00:15:39,395
That was uncalled for.
I'm sorry.
292
00:15:41,561 --> 00:15:43,609
That means a lot.
Thank you for saying it.
293
00:15:43,777 --> 00:15:46,177
- Can I sit down for a sec?
- Yeah, or pull up a chair and sit.
294
00:15:46,302 --> 00:15:47,752
Or on the shredder.
295
00:15:51,148 --> 00:15:52,878
This is gonna sound weird,
296
00:15:53,879 --> 00:15:55,362
but I think I may be
297
00:15:55,487 --> 00:15:58,831
the victim of a hostile work environment
with this whole Pam situation.
298
00:15:59,304 --> 00:16:02,043
Should probably deal with that
outside of the workplace.
299
00:16:02,213 --> 00:16:03,811
She brought it into the workplace,
300
00:16:03,936 --> 00:16:05,880
so I feel like
it has to be dealt with here.
301
00:16:08,280 --> 00:16:10,816
- I could talk to her.
- Really? Would you do that?
302
00:16:11,918 --> 00:16:14,188
That's why they pay me
the big bucks.
303
00:16:18,937 --> 00:16:20,637
You're a good, good guy.
304
00:16:23,275 --> 00:16:25,745
I always knew if Michael
just took the time to get to know me,
305
00:16:25,870 --> 00:16:27,318
we'd become friends.
306
00:16:30,095 --> 00:16:31,572
Could I talk to you for a sec?
307
00:16:32,991 --> 00:16:34,702
Sure. What's up?
308
00:16:35,120 --> 00:16:36,771
Well, I was hoping that
309
00:16:36,896 --> 00:16:38,906
maybe in light of everything
that's happened today,
310
00:16:39,031 --> 00:16:41,577
it'd be a good idea
for you and me and Michael
311
00:16:41,702 --> 00:16:44,377
to head into the conference room
for some conflict resolution.
312
00:16:44,548 --> 00:16:47,485
What's the matter,
can't fight your own battles?
313
00:16:48,796 --> 00:16:51,010
I think you should just take
the rest of the day off.
314
00:16:51,178 --> 00:16:53,177
Oh, would that make you feel better?
315
00:16:53,823 --> 00:16:55,346
I can't hear your conversation.
316
00:16:55,701 --> 00:16:58,351
You can tell Michael
that I'm not leaving.
317
00:17:03,785 --> 00:17:06,535
Buddy, I think that
we can't make her leave, so...
318
00:17:06,660 --> 00:17:08,059
You're a jackass.
319
00:17:08,184 --> 00:17:10,530
You know what?
You're just as stubborn as your mother.
320
00:17:10,974 --> 00:17:14,240
When you don't want to do something,
you just don't do it.
321
00:17:14,410 --> 00:17:15,658
You're just her rebound!
322
00:17:15,829 --> 00:17:17,407
You were right, Jim.
323
00:17:17,532 --> 00:17:19,370
Should never have told her.
324
00:17:19,541 --> 00:17:21,248
What? You knew?
325
00:17:22,844 --> 00:17:24,146
Barely. I...
326
00:17:25,489 --> 00:17:27,339
I don't have all the facts.
327
00:17:27,792 --> 00:17:29,192
Frank and Beans...
328
00:17:34,091 --> 00:17:36,412
If I stop dating your mom,
are we gonna get past this?
329
00:17:36,537 --> 00:17:37,737
'cause I will.
330
00:17:40,316 --> 00:17:43,269
- Well, that is not gonna happen!
- Then why'd you even offer?
331
00:17:43,439 --> 00:17:45,992
Because I assumed
that you want me to be happy
332
00:17:46,117 --> 00:17:48,429
because I want you to be happy.
333
00:17:49,372 --> 00:17:51,367
Let me make this very easy for you.
334
00:17:51,492 --> 00:17:53,595
I could give a ***
about your happiness!
335
00:17:53,720 --> 00:17:55,448
Stop dating my mother!
336
00:17:57,160 --> 00:17:59,160
I'm gonna start dating her
even harder.
337
00:17:59,443 --> 00:18:02,288
- What's that supposed to mean?
- You know what it means.
338
00:18:08,543 --> 00:18:09,543
Shove it.
339
00:18:11,551 --> 00:18:13,626
I don't need to be friends with Pam.
340
00:18:13,909 --> 00:18:15,563
I have plenty of female friends.
341
00:18:15,688 --> 00:18:16,688
My mom,
342
00:18:17,181 --> 00:18:18,181
Pam's mom,
343
00:18:19,083 --> 00:18:22,081
my aunt...
although she just blocked me on I.M.
344
00:18:22,799 --> 00:18:26,249
What's-her-face from Quiznos.
I see her four times a week.
345
00:18:32,522 --> 00:18:34,531
Dwight, you brought
the mallard back.
346
00:18:34,656 --> 00:18:37,206
Well, I had to.
I mean, Kelly was not...
347
00:18:37,935 --> 00:18:39,158
Hi, buddy.
348
00:18:52,764 --> 00:18:54,383
- I'm sorry.
- A wooden duck?
349
00:18:54,551 --> 00:18:55,551
Mallard.
350
00:18:57,431 --> 00:19:00,331
I put it in your office
in order to surveil you.
351
00:19:01,324 --> 00:19:03,392
I was jealous that
you got the promotion over me.
352
00:19:04,114 --> 00:19:06,359
Just to be clear,
you're terrible at this.
353
00:19:06,484 --> 00:19:09,487
- You're not equipped for espionage.
- Oh, I'm equipped. I can es...
354
00:19:10,726 --> 00:19:12,685
- Don't tell Michael.
- I wont.
355
00:19:13,077 --> 00:19:15,279
But you will wash and buff our car.
356
00:19:16,034 --> 00:19:18,384
Punishment fits the crime.
I accept.
357
00:19:19,832 --> 00:19:21,382
Good night, everyone.
358
00:19:22,410 --> 00:19:23,494
Good night, Pam.
359
00:19:24,129 --> 00:19:25,581
Thanks again for the rum.
360
00:19:27,617 --> 00:19:29,545
- Night, Michael.
- Good night, Erin.
361
00:19:33,427 --> 00:19:35,055
Can I see you for a second?
362
00:19:39,118 --> 00:19:42,281
So Dwight heard
you were having a really rough day,
363
00:19:42,406 --> 00:19:44,765
so he generously offered
to wash our car.
364
00:19:47,312 --> 00:19:49,924
- He did that for me?
- Yes. He did.
365
00:19:52,203 --> 00:19:53,853
You know what was nice?
366
00:19:54,055 --> 00:19:55,855
Night swimming in Bio Bay.
367
00:19:56,698 --> 00:20:00,548
Remember that older couple
whose kids were also named Jim and Pam?
368
00:20:03,427 --> 00:20:04,977
Say more nice things.
369
00:20:05,951 --> 00:20:07,653
We went on a Segway tour.
370
00:20:07,778 --> 00:20:09,939
- And we're awesome at it.
- Yes, we are.
371
00:20:11,221 --> 00:20:12,521
Frank and Beans.
372
00:20:15,603 --> 00:20:16,964
Maybe I'm overreacting.
373
00:20:18,548 --> 00:20:19,548
Maybe.
374
00:20:20,392 --> 00:20:22,921
- But I don't think I am.
- You're not. Nope.
375
00:20:28,839 --> 00:20:30,589
Where'd you get that hat?
376
00:20:30,758 --> 00:20:32,208
I'd rather not say.
377
00:20:55,440 --> 00:20:58,203
We have our high-quality
28-pound bond,
378
00:20:58,328 --> 00:21:00,563
our heavier 38-pound bond,
379
00:21:01,382 --> 00:21:03,201
or our s...
380
00:21:03,875 --> 00:21:05,825
I've got eight hours of this.
381
00:21:07,855 --> 00:21:09,800
Of course I wanted Jim
to find the mallard.
382
00:21:09,925 --> 00:21:11,375
Make him feel safe.
383
00:21:12,052 --> 00:21:15,416
Did you really think
I would put my primary listening device
384
00:21:15,541 --> 00:21:17,041
in a wooden mallard?
385
00:21:18,127 --> 00:21:19,377
I'm not insane.
386
00:21:20,990 --> 00:21:23,753
65-pound cover stock,
which is the heaviest paper
387
00:21:23,878 --> 00:21:25,912
that will still feed
through your desktop printer.