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Welcome,children
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of the scranton industrial
park communities!
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Yay!
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Join your gangster pumpkin
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on his pallet truck of doom.
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Don't worry about a thing.
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Rest assured you will see me later!
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We are doing a haunted
house this halloween,
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which is actually kind of spooky,
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because,as legend has it,
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on this very site there used to be
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a productive paper company.
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I am going to scare these kids so bad.
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This is the spookiest
warehouse in the world,kids.
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You don't believe me?
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Just take a look.
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Scary,huh?
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This is a surgery with...
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An octopus and a burn victim.
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Black widow.
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Leeloo from the fifth element.
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Look,nobody told me what
people were,all right?
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So label yourselves
or take what you get.
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I vant to sell your blood!
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That's really not the
trend in vampires right now.
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Here is an old man and a goth dude,
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and then the old crone
from drag me to hell.
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I'm a hobo.
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I asked for a list.
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And a clown.
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I'm jigsaw,idiot.
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You're not as scary
as bookface over there.
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Yes,I am the popular
social networking site
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known as bookface.
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Okay,kids,you all have been so good
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and unbelievably patient,
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so I think you are gonna get some candy!
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Yay!
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Kids,just remember,
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suicide is never the answer,all right?
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Why is christmas the only
holiday that can have a message?
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It is the easy way out.
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You are not alone.
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What the hell is wrong with you?
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Who wants candy?
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-=http://bbs.sfileydy.com=-
proudly presents
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-=http://bbs.sfileydy.com=-
sync:°îµÂÖí
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the office
Season06 Episode07
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And then,I think I'm going to go
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to the garlic festival.
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Sounds like fun.
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You guys would love it.
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They have a tcby booth.
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- Cool.
- Same stuff you get downtown.
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- Mm-hmm. - Do
you like tcby?
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Who doesn't?
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I can't believe it's...
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I can't believe it's yogurt.
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Oh,it'll be fun.
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I confirmed with raskin design,
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and they're expecting the
both of you in an hour.
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Actually,it's just gonna be me.
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They said the both of you.
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That's a mistake.
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You should give 'em
a call,check that out.
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All right. Just clear this up.
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Well,there's actually been
a few changes in the company,
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and michael and I are
actually at the same level,
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so I get... No.
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No,why would that be a problem?
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Jim is a good kid.
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He can handle a lot,
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but sometimes you have
to call in a master.
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I,uh...
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Why would you date an amateur
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when you could date a professional?
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Great. See ya then.
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Wha... What?
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They said that they would feel
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more comfortable if you came along.
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Why don't they just want
you to go by yourself?
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Why do they want me to come,too?
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I don't understand.
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- I absolutely don't understand,either.
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I don't want you to feel
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like I'm babysitting you or something.
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All right.All right.
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Let me go get your stroller.
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Sure,michael's a good teacher.
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A teacher is someone
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who stands right next
to you your whole life
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and never lets you do anything.
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That's what a teacher is,right?
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- What are you gonna call him?
- Dave.
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- No,what is his name?
- Dave.
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Mr. Borchard. They're very formal.
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Yeah,I've spoken to them on the phone.
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Yeah,well,this is not the phone.
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This is real life,baby,
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and you gotta own it.
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Is that what you are wearing?
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Yes,it is.
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00:04:16,780 --> 00:04:19,750
And that is the watch
that you are going to wear?
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No,it is not.
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You should wear this watch.
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I will loan it to you.
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It is a tankard.
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I highly recommend you wear that.
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No,thanks.
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- They are into
style. - Mm-hmm.
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- They are into appearance.
We are selling success.
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And paper.
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That's sort of secondary.
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Nope.
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no.
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He's trying to
micro-co-manage me.
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Or co-micromanage... Me.
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- Here we are outside...
- W.b.
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The wilkes-barre industrial park.
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Industrial p.
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Makin' cold calls.
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The two people with the lowest sales
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in the quarter have to do them.
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**
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***
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Yeah,I was gonna sing that part.
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I know. Now you don't have to.
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Well,except it was gonna
resolve the melody,so...
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Now my head hurts.Feels
like I held in a sneeze.
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I hate this feeling.
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all right.
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Hi,any messages?
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You're soaking wet.
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Oh,well,jim and I got caught
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in a little flash... Rain,
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flash winds,flash lightning.
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Wow. Sounds scary.
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It was,it was.
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And then in an instant,it wasn't.
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Why isn't jim wet?
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I... Outran it.
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I don't think it rained.
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My hip would be throbbing.
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It rained.
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Michael,can I get you
something... A towel,some cocoa?
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Nothing.
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Cocoa.
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I'll just leave that
suit in your office then?
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00:06:00,050 --> 00:06:02,250
Good. Yep.
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00:06:02,320 --> 00:06:03,720
Must be nice to have
company on these cold calls.
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We're kind of a dynamic duo.
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Or trio.
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How exciting!
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Do you guys know the sex yet?
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Oh,no. No.
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We're not together.
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No,no,no. Definitely not.
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Definitely not.
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No,we just work together.
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Looks like somebody's got
a case of the "definitelys."
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Um,michael?
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The custodian from raskin
design is on the line.
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He said they found your
keys in the kol pond.
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O
- kay,thank you.
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Did you say kol pond?
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Yeah.
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Michael,people are asking questions.
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Okay,put them on speaker.
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Hey,guys,what's goin' on?
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00:06:48,000 --> 00:06:49,770
Hey,michael,did you
fall into a kol pond?
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Uh,can't really hear you.
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I think we have sort
of a bad connection.
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Jim,did michael fall into a kol pond?
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It's like michael said.
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It was,um,some... Something else.
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It was... Okay,this is what it was.
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It was these bunch of idiots
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that had put a fish tank in the ground
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with no cover and no railing.
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- So you fell in.
- No!
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Maybe I was trying to save
a child that had fallen in.
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So a child had fallen in?
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Not yet!
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00:07:15,530 --> 00:07:16,660
That is hilarious.
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00:07:16,730 --> 00:07:18,430
No,it... Don't. I'm not gonna bump!
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00:07:18,500 --> 00:07:19,930
I'm not gonna bump,and
it was not hilarious.
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It was very,very terrifying.
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00:07:24,550 --> 00:07:26,460
Truthfully,it wasn't the way he fell in.
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It was how long it took him to get out.
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And we'd like to offer you
15% off your first purchase
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as our way of welcoming you to the area.
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Well,that sounds like
a really nice deal.
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Sha-bow.
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And I must say,that since
we are a family business,
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it's nice to see that you are,too.
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Oh! No... Wow!
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You thought that... Oh,my gosh.
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Oh,definitely not.
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My mistake. I'm sorry.
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It's okay.
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00:07:53,270 --> 00:07:56,430
Nah,actually,it's kinda not okay.
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00:07:56,500 --> 00:07:59,770
Um,I date models.Face models.
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00:07:59,830 --> 00:08:01,640
My girlfriend,on a
scale of one to gisele,
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uh,a nine.
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That's... That's good for you.
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00:08:08,580 --> 00:08:10,280
Anyway,we also have a
special on envelopes.
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Pam's carrying our surrogate,
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because my girlfriend needed
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to keep her figure for fashion week,
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so we,uh,we put our baby in pam.
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00:08:20,290 --> 00:08:22,530
It doesn't matter what pam looks like.
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Yeah.
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00:08:24,930 --> 00:08:26,700
You were way meaner to
me than I was to you.
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00:08:26,760 --> 00:08:29,500
No,I wasn't,okay?
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00:08:29,570 --> 00:08:30,600
The very idea of us together
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00:08:30,670 --> 00:08:32,240
made you burst out laughing
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00:08:32,300 --> 00:08:33,540
like you just bit into
218
00:08:33,600 --> 00:08:35,010
an adam sandler and jelly sandwich.
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00:08:35,070 --> 00:08:36,910
You blew the sale,you idiot!
220
00:08:36,970 --> 00:08:39,310
Let me tell you something.
221
00:08:39,380 --> 00:08:40,910
I was never gonna make that sale.
222
00:08:42,140 --> 00:08:44,810
Erin,do we have any of those
clips that hold paper together?
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00:08:44,880 --> 00:08:46,760
Staples?
224
00:08:47,940 --> 00:08:49,770
Uh,david wallace called.
225
00:08:49,820 --> 00:08:51,920
Oh,he did? What did he say?
226
00:08:51,990 --> 00:08:53,260
He heard you made a big
splash at the meeting.
227
00:08:53,320 --> 00:08:55,590
Oh,my god,that was so mean what
I just said,and I didn't mean it.
228
00:08:55,620 --> 00:08:58,000
It was kevin and
meredith put me up to it.
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00:08:58,270 --> 00:08:59,390
Okay.
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00:08:59,420 --> 00:09:01,120
I'm gonna kill you.
231
00:09:01,210 --> 00:09:02,980
Michael,don't listen to them.
232
00:09:03,020 --> 00:09:04,040
Thank you,stanley.
233
00:09:04,120 --> 00:09:06,280
You just ignore their carping.
234
00:09:06,640 --> 00:09:07,140
Okay.
235
00:09:07,330 --> 00:09:08,150
- Michael!
- Yes?
236
00:09:08,180 --> 00:09:10,930
A carp is both a fish and
a term for complaining.
237
00:09:11,100 --> 00:09:12,390
They're mocking you with wordplay!
238
00:09:12,450 --> 00:09:14,800
Hey,boss,did you find nemo?
239
00:09:14,870 --> 00:09:16,620
I can name pixar movies,too.
240
00:09:16,720 --> 00:09:17,930
Toy story.
241
00:09:17,980 --> 00:09:19,580
Don't you mean kol story?
242
00:09:20,770 --> 00:09:24,300
When you fell in,did you flounder?
243
00:09:24,550 --> 00:09:25,420
Good one,phyllis.
244
00:09:25,630 --> 00:09:28,400
- Michael,flounder is both a kind of a fish...
- I know what a flounder is.
245
00:09:28,620 --> 00:09:30,730
I'm not usually the butt of the joke.
246
00:09:31,140 --> 00:09:33,500
I'm usually the face of the joke.
247
00:09:35,340 --> 00:09:37,420
I wish jim had fallen into that pond.
248
00:09:37,810 --> 00:09:40,790
Then he'd have to put on my
suit,and it would be too short,
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00:09:41,200 --> 00:09:42,680
and he'd look...
250
00:09:43,550 --> 00:09:45,500
Damn it,he'd still look good.
251
00:09:45,850 --> 00:09:48,600
The most fundamental thing
about sensitivity training
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00:09:48,660 --> 00:09:51,330
is that you cannot make fun of a person
253
00:09:51,350 --> 00:09:53,320
for something or some action
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00:09:53,350 --> 00:09:55,460
that they have done that they regret.
255
00:09:55,520 --> 00:09:56,510
Show of hands.
256
00:09:56,570 --> 00:10:00,140
Who here has been kol-ponded?
257
00:10:00,170 --> 00:10:02,420
Who here has been the butt of a joke
258
00:10:02,500 --> 00:10:03,910
that has gone too far?
259
00:10:03,960 --> 00:10:06,570
- Phyllis.
- Michael,you make fun of us every day.
260
00:10:06,680 --> 00:10:09,020
- Uh...
- Yeah,every single day.
261
00:10:09,090 --> 00:10:10,260
You never said anything.
262
00:10:10,320 --> 00:10:14,430
- Uh,we have countless times.
- Well,it is hard to tell the difference
263
00:10:14,490 --> 00:10:17,630
between you guys saying stop
because I want you to stop,
264
00:10:17,690 --> 00:10:21,500
or stop as in,"stop! You're
making me laugh so hard.
265
00:10:21,570 --> 00:10:23,210
"what you're doing is so funny.
266
00:10:23,330 --> 00:10:25,630
"you're on a roll,I am busting a gut.
267
00:10:25,650 --> 00:10:27,360
Stop!"
268
00:10:27,410 --> 00:10:28,950
that's never been the case.
269
00:10:29,000 --> 00:10:38,150
We are going to make a
"do not mock" list,okay?
270
00:10:38,230 --> 00:10:41,040
Anything that we think
might be out of bounds,
271
00:10:41,120 --> 00:10:42,910
we put on this list.
272
00:10:42,960 --> 00:10:44,300
Anything you put on this list,
273
00:10:44,340 --> 00:10:46,460
you cannot be teased about.
274
00:10:46,530 --> 00:10:47,490
Got it?
275
00:10:47,540 --> 00:10:49,150
I'm gonna kick it off.
276
00:10:49,200 --> 00:10:53,890
Let's see what I have
to put on the list.
277
00:10:54,050 --> 00:10:55,950
Right? Okay.
278
00:10:56,300 --> 00:10:59,130
I also have fallen into the fountain
279
00:10:59,170 --> 00:11:00,670
at the steamtown mall.
280
00:11:00,730 --> 00:11:02,550
Okay,who else? Who else?Dwight,come on.
281
00:11:04,190 --> 00:11:05,390
I don't want people
making fun of my nose.
282
00:11:05,460 --> 00:11:07,160
Your nose?
283
00:11:07,220 --> 00:11:08,560
It's too small.
284
00:11:08,630 --> 00:11:09,400
Right.
285
00:11:09,460 --> 00:11:10,570
Oh,my,that is small.
286
00:11:10,630 --> 00:11:12,150
Just write it down,please.
287
00:11:12,240 --> 00:11:13,640
Can you breathe okay?
288
00:11:13,720 --> 00:11:15,210
What keeps your glasses on?
289
00:11:15,240 --> 00:11:16,770
Hey,it's on the list,everybody.
290
00:11:16,840 --> 00:11:18,870
No,I haven't finished writing.
291
00:11:19,130 --> 00:11:20,320
Did you sneeze it off?
292
00:11:20,360 --> 00:11:22,290
That's it! No more.
293
00:11:22,350 --> 00:11:24,520
Okay,who else? Who else?
294
00:11:24,580 --> 00:11:25,710
Everybody's going to get their chance.
295
00:11:25,750 --> 00:11:28,100
I don't want people
making fun of my weight.
296
00:11:28,580 --> 00:11:30,380
Okay,that's too broad.It's
gotta be something else.
297
00:11:30,510 --> 00:11:32,000
How about your stomach?
298
00:11:32,300 --> 00:11:33,720
Yeah?
299
00:11:36,190 --> 00:11:37,140
Meredith?
300
00:11:37,200 --> 00:11:38,260
I don't want to say it out loud.
301
00:11:38,330 --> 00:11:39,680
Okay,fine. Come on up here.
302
00:11:39,780 --> 00:11:41,080
Write it yourself,
303
00:11:41,130 --> 00:11:42,810
and don't sign your name to it,
304
00:11:42,860 --> 00:11:44,540
and nobody look.
305
00:11:45,590 --> 00:11:47,020
Everybody look away.Look away.
306
00:11:48,170 --> 00:11:50,400
Well,I really didn't want
to put it on the board,
307
00:11:50,460 --> 00:11:53,540
but I thought maybe it was
gonna come out somehow,so...
308
00:11:54,270 --> 00:11:55,730
What are you gonna do?
309
00:12:00,870 --> 00:12:02,040
Okay.
310
00:12:02,090 --> 00:12:03,570
That is our sales pitch,
311
00:12:03,600 --> 00:12:05,600
and we are stickin' to it.
312
00:12:06,580 --> 00:12:08,540
Well,you two are quite the salesmen,
313
00:12:08,660 --> 00:12:10,630
and a very cute couple.
314
00:12:10,920 --> 00:12:13,230
Well,it's...
315
00:12:14,920 --> 00:12:16,470
Thank you. Thank you.
316
00:12:16,530 --> 00:12:18,800
Some couples don't
seem like a good match,
317
00:12:18,860 --> 00:12:20,530
but you two do.
318
00:12:20,560 --> 00:12:21,860
Well,you know.
319
00:12:21,890 --> 00:12:24,190
Yeah,you know,two peas in a pod.
320
00:12:24,260 --> 00:12:26,220
We complete each other.
321
00:12:26,250 --> 00:12:27,880
What can I say? She loves to cook...
322
00:12:27,930 --> 00:12:29,890
He loves to eat.
323
00:12:30,180 --> 00:12:31,270
I love to dance.
324
00:12:31,330 --> 00:12:32,690
I love to watch him dance.
325
00:12:32,760 --> 00:12:34,430
Right,sometimes i'll just dance
326
00:12:34,530 --> 00:12:35,930
for hours in the living room...
327
00:12:36,010 --> 00:12:37,110
And I'll watch him.
328
00:12:37,160 --> 00:12:39,990
And a baby on the way?
You must be so excited.
329
00:12:40,050 --> 00:12:41,700
Mmm. Yes.
330
00:12:41,760 --> 00:12:43,850
Yeah,we are thrilled.
331
00:12:43,900 --> 00:12:45,450
In fact,we spent the whole weekend
332
00:12:45,470 --> 00:12:47,780
researching various birthing coaches.
333
00:12:47,810 --> 00:12:49,830
- Wasn't that fun,honey?
- It was,sweetie.
334
00:12:49,900 --> 00:12:51,540
Oh,I know the best teacher.
335
00:12:51,630 --> 00:12:53,030
Her name's Miss janet.
336
00:12:53,080 --> 00:12:54,430
Yeah,on clearview avenue.
337
00:12:54,500 --> 00:12:56,140
Yeah!Yeah.
338
00:12:57,200 --> 00:12:59,030
This sounds ridiculous,I know,
339
00:12:59,150 --> 00:13:02,020
but some people say that
I eat like a squirrel.
340
00:13:02,060 --> 00:13:05,180
So now you're comparing
yourself to a cute,tiny animal?
341
00:13:06,570 --> 00:13:07,860
Um,michael? Hmm?
342
00:13:07,930 --> 00:13:09,660
The custodian called again.
343
00:13:09,720 --> 00:13:11,730
Apparently,a kol has died.
344
00:13:12,800 --> 00:13:13,950
It's a fish.
345
00:13:14,010 --> 00:13:15,680
They want you to pay for it.
346
00:13:15,720 --> 00:13:17,470
It could have died of
natural causes,though.
347
00:13:17,530 --> 00:13:19,730
Well,they said you stepped on its head.
348
00:13:20,240 --> 00:13:22,010
He did not suffer.
349
00:13:22,670 --> 00:13:24,010
Um,when is the funeral?
350
00:13:24,060 --> 00:13:26,560
Do not mock,oscar. Do not mock.
351
00:13:26,630 --> 00:13:27,520
How much do they want?
352
00:13:27,570 --> 00:13:29,420
$300. What? No.
353
00:13:29,490 --> 00:13:32,000
I could get a fish
for a five-cent worm.
354
00:13:32,080 --> 00:13:34,560
Oh,you're paying way
too much for worms,then.
355
00:13:34,720 --> 00:13:36,280
Who's your worm guy?
356
00:13:36,340 --> 00:13:38,940
Okay,great meeting,everybody. That's it.
357
00:13:39,030 --> 00:13:40,300
No,no. Thank you.
358
00:13:40,460 --> 00:13:41,990
No! We are not done here.
359
00:13:42,130 --> 00:13:43,970
This...
360
00:13:45,330 --> 00:13:48,370
One of the baby books suggests the
best birthing posture is on all fours
361
00:13:48,460 --> 00:13:49,980
like an animal.
362
00:13:50,030 --> 00:13:51,710
I just wish I had a special telephone
363
00:13:51,760 --> 00:13:55,570
so I could find out exactly what
the little soybean wants,right?
364
00:13:56,080 --> 00:13:58,580
Hey,li'l soybean,what do you want?
365
00:13:58,630 --> 00:14:00,370
Right. How do...
366
00:14:02,600 --> 00:14:03,920
It... I felt a kick.
367
00:14:03,970 --> 00:14:06,650
- Oh,that's great.
- Oh,my gosh,like a little magical foot
368
00:14:06,680 --> 00:14:08,140
just high-fived me.
369
00:14:08,200 --> 00:14:09,690
Yeah. Well,that'll happen.
370
00:14:09,760 --> 00:14:11,040
Oh,my gosh.
371
00:14:11,450 --> 00:14:12,320
It's like he's trying to say,
372
00:14:12,380 --> 00:14:14,200
"i love you,too,daddy."
373
00:14:14,760 --> 00:14:15,970
I love you,too.
374
00:14:16,030 --> 00:14:17,250
Sometimes we're so excited,
375
00:14:17,300 --> 00:14:18,990
we forget where we are...
376
00:14:19,090 --> 00:14:21,270
Mmm! Like at a business meeting.
377
00:14:22,370 --> 00:14:24,610
Message received,lil' soybean.
378
00:14:24,670 --> 00:14:26,170
I think you just gotta
ride this one out,man.
379
00:14:26,210 --> 00:14:28,460
No,jim,you don't understand.
380
00:14:28,510 --> 00:14:31,140
Things like this just don't die.
381
00:14:31,340 --> 00:14:33,780
Kids in high school
still call me ponytail.
382
00:14:33,800 --> 00:14:36,000
- No,they don't.
- Yes,they do,jim.
383
00:14:36,050 --> 00:14:38,270
Because of the time I got my ponytail
384
00:14:38,320 --> 00:14:39,590
stuck in the power drill.
385
00:14:39,640 --> 00:14:42,310
Maybe if you make fun of
yourself,it'll all go away.
386
00:14:42,400 --> 00:14:43,670
I want to make fun of you right now.
387
00:14:43,720 --> 00:14:45,230
Really? Do it.
388
00:14:45,680 --> 00:14:48,220
I am a big,stupid goofball.
389
00:14:48,290 --> 00:14:49,670
No,don't do that. You're not.
390
00:14:49,710 --> 00:14:51,310
You're not stupid.
391
00:14:52,150 --> 00:14:53,640
See?
392
00:14:54,440 --> 00:14:55,930
Oh,my god.
393
00:14:56,010 --> 00:14:57,720
Hey,I...
394
00:14:57,760 --> 00:14:58,890
I just want to say
395
00:14:58,950 --> 00:15:01,320
that I cannot believe
396
00:15:01,360 --> 00:15:03,180
that I walked into a kol pond.
397
00:15:03,240 --> 00:15:05,380
I mean,seriously,walk much?
398
00:15:06,450 --> 00:15:08,840
Oh! I should wear a snorkel
399
00:15:08,900 --> 00:15:10,830
to the next business
meeting that I go to.
400
00:15:10,870 --> 00:15:12,690
Michael,you know,when
you think about it,
401
00:15:12,830 --> 00:15:13,820
it's not all your fault.
402
00:15:13,880 --> 00:15:15,810
I mean,who puts a kol pond in a lobby?
403
00:15:15,850 --> 00:15:18,770
Well,you know what?
You're right,phyllis,
404
00:15:18,820 --> 00:15:20,550
but I've been there before.
405
00:15:20,570 --> 00:15:22,300
I've seen that pond.
406
00:15:22,340 --> 00:15:24,860
This is the thing,I
am a world-class moron.
407
00:15:24,910 --> 00:15:27,210
Michael,please,stop it
now.You're embarrassing yourself.
408
00:15:27,270 --> 00:15:28,670
It's okay. We're having fun.
409
00:15:28,800 --> 00:15:31,920
It's actually not the first time
I've been embarrassed by a pond.
410
00:15:32,120 --> 00:15:33,290
Well...
411
00:15:33,340 --> 00:15:35,610
In high school,the
girl's volleyball team
412
00:15:35,630 --> 00:15:37,420
always used to throw
me into the frozen lake.
413
00:15:37,450 --> 00:15:39,250
Four years in a row.
414
00:15:39,920 --> 00:15:42,330
Ha! Ohh! It was freezing!
415
00:15:42,480 --> 00:15:43,910
No,no,no!
416
00:15:43,970 --> 00:15:46,120
Oh,this is even worse.
417
00:15:46,150 --> 00:15:48,570
Couple of weeks ago,I went
to get a new cell phone,
418
00:15:48,610 --> 00:15:49,850
and I wanted one of those packages
419
00:15:49,930 --> 00:15:52,420
where you have the five...
You know,the friends,
420
00:15:52,480 --> 00:15:53,740
friends and family thing?
421
00:15:53,770 --> 00:15:55,860
And the guy was like,"who
are your five friends?"
422
00:15:55,900 --> 00:15:57,640
and I'm like,"uh... "
423
00:15:57,670 --> 00:15:58,710
I didn't even know!
424
00:15:58,750 --> 00:16:00,600
I couldn't even think.
425
00:16:00,650 --> 00:16:03,300
Oh,my god! It was so embarrassing!
426
00:16:03,340 --> 00:16:05,140
That was,well...
427
00:16:05,180 --> 00:16:07,940
I don't even have
jan's cell phone number,
428
00:16:07,970 --> 00:16:09,510
and I hate her!
429
00:16:09,530 --> 00:16:11,450
She won't give it to me.
430
00:16:11,510 --> 00:16:13,760
It's like,oh,well,I guess I'm a loser.
431
00:16:13,850 --> 00:16:17,870
A
loo-hoo-hoo-hoo-ser!
432
00:16:17,980 --> 00:16:19,470
Too far!
433
00:16:19,490 --> 00:16:21,190
God!
434
00:16:21,710 --> 00:16:23,720
Thanks a lot,man.
435
00:16:23,860 --> 00:16:26,100
Thanks for the advice.
436
00:16:33,600 --> 00:16:34,900
Enjoying your nut?
437
00:16:34,990 --> 00:16:36,250
Why?
438
00:16:36,300 --> 00:16:39,650
I'm not mocking.I was
just making an observation
439
00:16:39,710 --> 00:16:40,960
about her... Nut.
440
00:16:41,000 --> 00:16:42,620
I was.
441
00:16:42,670 --> 00:16:44,760
Hey,who wants to watch
michael's pond dive?
442
00:16:44,940 --> 00:16:49,110
My roommate's friend is the
night janitor over there.
443
00:16:49,140 --> 00:16:51,200
He swiped the security tape for me,
444
00:16:51,250 --> 00:16:52,790
and he's bringing it over.
445
00:16:52,910 --> 00:16:55,480
Mmm,you know what?Maybe we
should go easy on michael,guys.
446
00:16:56,210 --> 00:16:57,740
You know,you watch that tape,
447
00:16:57,770 --> 00:17:00,420
and you're gonna have to stay late
for more sensitivity training,so...
448
00:17:01,370 --> 00:17:03,320
We'll stay late.
449
00:17:05,060 --> 00:17:06,310
Well,that went pretty well.
450
00:17:06,360 --> 00:17:07,350
Yeah,I guess.
451
00:17:07,450 --> 00:17:09,360
We got a maybe. Was our first maybe.
452
00:17:09,370 --> 00:17:12,350
Going by the nard-dog
curve,i'd say we nailed it.
453
00:17:12,400 --> 00:17:15,180
If I'm being completely honest,I
could have done without the belly kiss.
454
00:17:15,250 --> 00:17:16,480
You know what? I'm sorry,
455
00:17:16,540 --> 00:17:18,070
'cause in that moment,
456
00:17:18,130 --> 00:17:20,110
I knew I was kissing
your belly too much.
457
00:17:20,160 --> 00:17:21,550
- Yeah,way too much.
- Yeah.
458
00:17:21,620 --> 00:17:23,030
I mean,what the hell was that?
459
00:17:23,080 --> 00:17:24,920
What the heck was that?
460
00:17:24,950 --> 00:17:25,840
When you cried.
461
00:17:25,930 --> 00:17:28,430
Ahh! Try "almost cried," okay?
462
00:17:28,580 --> 00:17:30,530
I just got caught up in the fantasy.
463
00:17:30,580 --> 00:17:31,770
Your fantasy involves
464
00:17:31,830 --> 00:17:33,920
comparison shopping birthing classes?
465
00:17:34,010 --> 00:17:36,830
No. I know I'm gonna go with Miss janet.
466
00:17:36,970 --> 00:17:38,470
I just...
467
00:17:38,500 --> 00:17:40,620
I don't know,it was
fun to role-play,right?
468
00:17:41,770 --> 00:17:43,430
I mean,it's fun for me,
469
00:17:43,490 --> 00:17:45,700
having a wife and a little baby.
470
00:17:45,760 --> 00:17:48,430
I'm so sick of being single.
471
00:17:48,730 --> 00:17:51,070
Well,are you dating anyone?
472
00:17:51,160 --> 00:17:52,320
What do you think of erin?
473
00:17:52,340 --> 00:17:55,050
I mean,she's... She's kinda cool.
474
00:17:56,720 --> 00:17:57,970
You think I can do better?
475
00:17:59,960 --> 00:18:01,940
I gotta get my goin' out on.
476
00:18:03,260 --> 00:18:04,340
Hey,let's watch this thing!
477
00:18:04,390 --> 00:18:05,600
Whoa! Oh,whoa,okay.
478
00:18:05,650 --> 00:18:07,060
Yeah,we're not watching this.
479
00:18:07,120 --> 00:18:08,370
How can we not watch this?
480
00:18:08,420 --> 00:18:09,990
What happened to "do not mock"?
481
00:18:10,060 --> 00:18:11,520
We're not mocking. We're watching.
482
00:18:11,560 --> 00:18:13,490
That will inevitably lead to mocking.
483
00:18:13,540 --> 00:18:14,650
Well,we'll deal with it as it comes.
484
00:18:14,690 --> 00:18:16,300
Is this the tape of me falling?
485
00:18:16,360 --> 00:18:17,230
Yes,put the dvd in.
486
00:18:17,310 --> 00:18:18,840
Open up quicktime.
It starts on the song.
487
00:18:18,880 --> 00:18:20,720
No,use quicktime.
Trust me,I've done this.
488
00:18:20,760 --> 00:18:22,710
Guys,michael can't handle this,
489
00:18:22,760 --> 00:18:25,220
and as your boss,I'm saying
we're not watching it.
490
00:18:25,270 --> 00:18:26,710
No,it's okay. Watch it.
491
00:18:26,780 --> 00:18:28,080
He can't fire all of you.
492
00:18:28,130 --> 00:18:29,160
What are you doing?
493
00:18:29,250 --> 00:18:30,560
It's all right. I can handle it.
494
00:18:30,620 --> 00:18:31,890
No. I am a grown-up,jim.
495
00:18:31,930 --> 00:18:33,370
Shh! It's on.
496
00:18:33,420 --> 00:18:34,820
There they come.
497
00:18:36,220 --> 00:18:37,630
Boom!
498
00:18:37,790 --> 00:18:39,310
Did... Did you see that? See what?
499
00:18:39,360 --> 00:18:40,620
Wait,why'd you stop it?
500
00:18:40,700 --> 00:18:42,300
Oscar,yes,you're right to stop it.
501
00:18:42,410 --> 00:18:43,600
Thank you. Eject it.
502
00:18:43,690 --> 00:18:45,580
Jim,you let michael fall in.
503
00:18:45,660 --> 00:18:47,420
Play it again.
504
00:18:50,020 --> 00:18:52,980
He purposefully leaned
away and let you fall.
505
00:18:53,320 --> 00:18:55,530
Oh,man.
506
00:18:58,190 --> 00:19:01,690
I think when I started to see
you go in,I think I just froze.
507
00:19:01,760 --> 00:19:03,700
I don't think you froze.
508
00:19:06,130 --> 00:19:07,890
It's a killer new dance move.
509
00:19:10,230 --> 00:19:12,010
Do you want to talk in your office?
510
00:19:12,050 --> 00:19:13,700
no.
511
00:19:13,770 --> 00:19:15,630
I didn't ask you.
512
00:19:16,110 --> 00:19:18,030
Would you like to talk?
513
00:19:19,670 --> 00:19:21,040
Judas.
514
00:19:21,070 --> 00:19:22,070
Jim is my enemy,
515
00:19:22,130 --> 00:19:25,000
but it turns out that jim
is also his own worst enemy.
516
00:19:25,030 --> 00:19:27,480
And the enemy of my enemy is my friend,
517
00:19:27,520 --> 00:19:30,600
so jim is actually my friend.
518
00:19:31,710 --> 00:19:34,530
But because he is his own worst enemy,
519
00:19:34,570 --> 00:19:36,400
the enemy of my friend is my enemy,
520
00:19:36,440 --> 00:19:38,790
so actually,jim is my enemy.
521
00:19:39,540 --> 00:19:40,760
But...
522
00:19:40,790 --> 00:19:42,750
I should have grabbed you.
523
00:19:42,820 --> 00:19:44,350
I'm sorry.
524
00:19:44,600 --> 00:19:48,860
Look,I thought I could have
done today's sales call alone.
525
00:19:48,970 --> 00:19:51,040
I mean,I may never be as
good a salesman as you are,
526
00:19:51,060 --> 00:19:53,380
but I at least need the
chance to do the job.
527
00:19:55,620 --> 00:19:57,890
Jim is jealous of me?
528
00:20:00,790 --> 00:20:03,200
Jim is jealous of me.
529
00:20:06,770 --> 00:20:08,420
Hey,what's up,lifeguard?
530
00:20:08,460 --> 00:20:10,090
Oh,jim,I think I'm in your way.
531
00:20:17,420 --> 00:20:19,470
Oscar's a douche.
532
00:20:21,510 --> 00:20:22,240
No,he's all right.
533
00:20:22,280 --> 00:20:24,390
No,he's a...
534
00:20:24,430 --> 00:20:26,410
Yeah,he's all right.
535
00:20:27,980 --> 00:20:29,310
Okay.
536
00:20:33,800 --> 00:20:35,240
- Thanks,michael.
- You're welcome.
537
00:20:35,300 --> 00:20:37,610
Whoa! Almost fell.
538
00:20:42,390 --> 00:20:44,780
Hey,erin,do you mind faxing this for me?
539
00:20:44,890 --> 00:20:47,260
Oh,sure. Wait. Hand
them to me upside down,
540
00:20:47,300 --> 00:20:49,560
so I don't accidentally read them.
541
00:20:50,440 --> 00:20:51,610
Okay.
542
00:20:51,680 --> 00:20:52,860
Thanks. Mm-hmm.
543
00:20:52,880 --> 00:20:55,200
How did today go by the
way?Did you make any sales?
544
00:20:55,310 --> 00:20:57,950
No,it was a total waste of time.
545
00:21:00,190 --> 00:21:02,150
Um,it was fun,though,
546
00:21:02,180 --> 00:21:04,990
because I got to spend
the day with andy bernard.
547
00:21:05,060 --> 00:21:06,190
He's really cool.
548
00:21:06,250 --> 00:21:07,470
Yeah,he is.
549
00:21:07,520 --> 00:21:08,970
Yeah,he is.
550
00:21:09,010 --> 00:21:11,140
He's like the coolest
person I've ever met.
551
00:21:11,290 --> 00:21:13,200
That's... Right.
552
00:21:14,160 --> 00:21:16,260
He's like marlon brando.
553
00:21:18,810 --> 00:21:20,950
Oh. Do you mean marlon wayans?
554
00:21:21,330 --> 00:21:22,910
'cause he is.
555
00:21:23,050 --> 00:21:25,530
I actually do mean marlon wayans,yeah.