1
00:00:11,761 --> 00:00:12,721
Hello, Dunder Mifflin.

2
00:00:12,804 --> 00:00:14,222
No, no, no. No.

3
00:00:17,601 --> 00:00:19,686
I believe that every man,
woman, and child in this country

4
00:00:19,769 --> 00:00:21,188
should learn how
to speak Spanish.

5
00:00:21,271 --> 00:00:25,525
They are our neighbors to the
south, and this would be a healing thing

6
00:00:26,276 --> 00:00:28,361
for all of North America.

7
00:00:29,696 --> 00:00:33,950
And I am going on vacation
next week to Cancun.

8
00:00:48,840 --> 00:00:51,384
I don't understand why Michael
is wasting his time with Spanish.

9
00:00:51,468 --> 00:00:53,887
I have it on very good
authority that within 20 years,

10
00:00:53,970 --> 00:00:56,389
everyone will be
speaking German.

11
00:00:56,806 --> 00:00:58,892
Or a Chinese-German hybrid.

12
00:01:04,356 --> 00:01:08,109
Michael's having a hard time
with the gender part of Spanish.

13
00:01:08,193 --> 00:01:09,736
So, I told him
to mark everything

14
00:01:09,819 --> 00:01:12,364
with the international
symbol for gender.

15
00:01:12,447 --> 00:01:13,615
And...

16
00:01:15,408 --> 00:01:17,327
I should have been
more specific.

17
00:01:17,494 --> 00:01:19,871
Your office is full
of genitalia.

18
00:01:23,833 --> 00:01:24,876
"That's what he says"?

19
00:01:24,960 --> 00:01:26,169
Damn it.

20
00:01:26,503 --> 00:01:27,921
Ah, Angelo!

21
00:01:28,004 --> 00:01:29,089
Angela.

22
00:01:31,049 --> 00:01:33,051
Michael.

23
00:01:58,076 --> 00:02:02,247
All right, so I'll finish up on bulk pricing
and then you go into delivery guarantees.

24
00:02:02,330 --> 00:02:05,792
You know, maybe there's an
opportunity for a joke there, like...

25
00:02:05,875 --> 00:02:08,378
Like, "I just
delivered a baby.

26
00:02:08,878 --> 00:02:11,381
"They didn't offer
me a guarantee."

27
00:02:11,923 --> 00:02:13,633
Yeah. Maybe we don't
even need that.

28
00:02:13,717 --> 00:02:16,803
Can you smell the power?
Halperts, power couple.

29
00:02:16,928 --> 00:02:18,722
You know what? I should
be getting this client, Michael.

30
00:02:18,805 --> 00:02:20,348
My numbers are better
than either of theirs.

31
00:02:20,432 --> 00:02:23,351
I went with the people I thought
would put the best face on the company.

32
00:02:23,435 --> 00:02:25,812
If you want people to put
the best face on something,

33
00:02:25,895 --> 00:02:26,938
why would you
get two people

34
00:02:27,022 --> 00:02:30,859
who probably have never cut the
face off of anything in their lives?

35
00:02:30,942 --> 00:02:31,943
It's a good point.

36
00:02:32,402 --> 00:02:34,321
This is our first
joint sales pitch.

37
00:02:34,404 --> 00:02:35,864
I think we're gonna work
really well together.

38
00:02:35,947 --> 00:02:38,825
Yeah. I think we have
complementary strengths.

39
00:02:38,908 --> 00:02:39,868
We understand
each other.

40
00:02:39,951 --> 00:02:41,786
We have good
give and take.

41
00:02:41,870 --> 00:02:43,496
I give, he takes!

42
00:02:45,123 --> 00:02:47,167
I don't even know
who you are anymore.

43
00:02:51,379 --> 00:02:54,549
Hi. Donna Newton.
Here to see Michael Scott.

44
00:02:55,550 --> 00:02:58,762
Hey, Miss Newton. Hi.
I'm Jim. How are you?

45
00:02:58,845 --> 00:03:01,222
Did somebody order
a hooker over here?

46
00:03:01,306 --> 00:03:02,349
Stop that. Hi.

47
00:03:02,432 --> 00:03:03,725
Hi. How are you?

48
00:03:03,850 --> 00:03:05,810
There's this woman
I met a few weeks ago.

49
00:03:05,894 --> 00:03:09,356
Her name is Donna.
Manager of a Sid and Dexter's.

50
00:03:09,689 --> 00:03:13,526
And right now, we're in the
midst of a passionate love affair.

51
00:03:15,737 --> 00:03:19,741
No, but she is coming by today,
maybe to buy some printers, so...

52
00:03:21,034 --> 00:03:23,870
Right here, we have the wonder
twins, Jim and Pam Halpert.

53
00:03:23,953 --> 00:03:25,580
They will be
assisting you today.

54
00:03:25,663 --> 00:03:27,665
You look exactly alike.

55
00:03:27,749 --> 00:03:29,167
No, we're
actually married.

56
00:03:29,250 --> 00:03:30,502
We're not
brother and sister.

57
00:03:30,585 --> 00:03:32,420
I have a sense about
these things. All right.

58
00:03:32,504 --> 00:03:36,758
You have some ancestors
in common somewhere back.

59
00:03:37,008 --> 00:03:39,636
I knew it. You
should see their baby.

60
00:03:41,346 --> 00:03:45,517
So, yes, laser printers are more
expensive, but they cost less to operate,

61
00:03:45,600 --> 00:03:46,768
so it's a trade-off.

62
00:03:46,851 --> 00:03:48,603
Hi. Sorry to interrupt.

63
00:03:48,978 --> 00:03:51,523
Little time sensitive. Do
you, Donna, by any chance

64
00:03:51,606 --> 00:03:53,108
shop at Victoria's Secret?
What?

65
00:03:53,191 --> 00:03:56,361
Because I keep getting
these magazines sent to me

66
00:03:56,778 --> 00:04:00,907
via the address of the woman who
used to live in my condo before me.

67
00:04:00,990 --> 00:04:02,242
None of this
is time sensitive.

68
00:04:02,325 --> 00:04:04,744
Yes, the sale's on
now through May.

69
00:04:04,828 --> 00:04:05,912
Oh, yeah, thank you.

70
00:04:05,995 --> 00:04:07,414
Okay. I have more of them.

71
00:04:07,497 --> 00:04:11,376
You would have weekly conference
calls with executives in corporate,

72
00:04:11,459 --> 00:04:14,295
a two week training program at
the Yale School of Management.

73
00:04:14,379 --> 00:04:18,133
Obviously you would be high on
the list for advancement opportunities.

74
00:04:18,216 --> 00:04:19,259
Sounds all right.

75
00:04:19,342 --> 00:04:20,510
What is this?

76
00:04:20,593 --> 00:04:22,095
This is Print
In All Colors,

77
00:04:22,178 --> 00:04:25,056
Sabre's minority
executive training program.

78
00:04:25,140 --> 00:04:27,434
It doesn't just
sound "aite," it sounds amazing.

79
00:04:27,517 --> 00:04:28,810
I didn't say "aite."

80
00:04:28,893 --> 00:04:30,103
How do I apply?

81
00:04:30,186 --> 00:04:31,813
You have to be a minority.

82
00:04:32,188 --> 00:04:34,607
Glasses wearers,
cholera survivors,

83
00:04:34,691 --> 00:04:37,944
geniuses, non-organic family
farmers. The list goes on and on.

84
00:04:38,027 --> 00:04:39,446
You want me to keep going?
Those don't really count.

85
00:04:39,529 --> 00:04:42,532
We're thinking more ethnic
and racial minorities.

86
00:04:42,615 --> 00:04:44,826
Come here. Come here.

87
00:04:45,618 --> 00:04:48,371
Ten seconds ago this guy
was driving a forklift, okay?

88
00:04:48,455 --> 00:04:53,293
Now, all of a sudden, he's Cinderella of
the office? What are you guys thinking?

89
00:04:53,585 --> 00:04:55,587
I like the sound of this.

90
00:04:55,712 --> 00:04:58,631
Maybe one day I'll be
sitting in Michael's chair.

91
00:04:58,715 --> 00:05:00,425
Wouldn't that be something?

92
00:05:00,508 --> 00:05:03,386
One minority from this
branch is going to get into this program.

93
00:05:03,636 --> 00:05:05,638
Who would I prefer? Hmm.

94
00:05:06,222 --> 00:05:09,767
The competent hardworking one
who does things his own way,

95
00:05:10,101 --> 00:05:14,564
or the malleable simpleton who can
be bought for a few fashion magazines?

96
00:05:15,231 --> 00:05:18,067
This is the second time that
you've sent me the wrong size.

97
00:05:18,151 --> 00:05:19,527
I mean, I know what
a four should feel like.

98
00:05:19,611 --> 00:05:21,112
I've been a four
my whole life.

99
00:05:21,196 --> 00:05:24,491
You know what? You can go to
hell, all right? Thanks for nothing.

100
00:05:24,574 --> 00:05:27,660
Oh, man.
White people, right?

101
00:05:27,744 --> 00:05:28,786
I don't know
if she was white.

102
00:05:29,037 --> 00:05:31,164
Well, you can kind of
tell from their voice.

103
00:05:31,247 --> 00:05:32,332
Yeah.

104
00:05:32,415 --> 00:05:35,668
I bet you get pulled over by the
cops a lot just because of your race.

105
00:05:35,752 --> 00:05:38,546
Well, they say it's because of
texting, but maybe you're right.

106
00:05:38,630 --> 00:05:42,675
I think you should consider applying for
the executive minority training program.

107
00:05:42,759 --> 00:05:44,886
I never thought of myself
as an executive before.

108
00:05:44,969 --> 00:05:46,846
I know, "cause you
have no role models.

109
00:05:46,930 --> 00:05:49,682
How many Indian CEOs
can you think of?

110
00:05:49,766 --> 00:05:51,851
I can't think of
any CEOs, any race.

111
00:05:51,935 --> 00:05:54,270
You could be
the Indian Bill Gates.

112
00:05:55,104 --> 00:05:57,649
You could be
the Indian Ted Turner.

113
00:05:59,359 --> 00:06:01,903
I could be
the Indian Julia Roberts.

114
00:06:02,362 --> 00:06:05,615
That's not... She's...
Okay. Yes.

115
00:06:06,574 --> 00:06:10,078
I took the liberty to scan a few
things earlier, and I want to show you...

116
00:06:10,161 --> 00:06:13,748
There we go! Look at those
vivid colors. Look at my eyes.

117
00:06:13,873 --> 00:06:15,708
Those are
Shrek-green eyes.

118
00:06:15,792 --> 00:06:20,380
That is me again. I think this
displays the crisp, dazzling white.

119
00:06:21,214 --> 00:06:22,882
And that would
be a display

120
00:06:22,966 --> 00:06:24,092
of the crisp,
gorgeous black.

121
00:06:24,175 --> 00:06:25,301
Yeah.

122
00:06:25,552 --> 00:06:28,638
It's subtle.
It's how it works.

123
00:06:29,097 --> 00:06:30,848
I show her an image
that turns her on,

124
00:06:30,932 --> 00:06:32,892
and then she looks at me,
then she looks at the image,

125
00:06:32,976 --> 00:06:34,352
then back at me,
then back at the image.

126
00:06:34,435 --> 00:06:37,397
Soon she doesn't know
what is me, what is the image,

127
00:06:37,480 --> 00:06:39,482
she just knows
that she's turned on.

128
00:06:40,233 --> 00:06:43,903
This is a place that I like to go
to be alone with my thoughts.

129
00:06:43,987 --> 00:06:46,614
I've never taken
anybody there before.

130
00:06:46,739 --> 00:06:48,741
Who took the photo?
Ryan.

131
00:06:48,825 --> 00:06:49,867
Oh.

132
00:06:50,451 --> 00:06:51,953
And that's it.

133
00:06:53,663 --> 00:06:56,249
That's me.
That's who I am.

134
00:06:56,916 --> 00:06:59,002
Not bad.

135
00:06:59,085 --> 00:07:00,545
Oh, thanks.

136
00:07:01,170 --> 00:07:02,589
You're not bad, either.

137
00:07:02,672 --> 00:07:03,840
Thank you.

138
00:07:10,972 --> 00:07:12,098
Oh, my God.

139
00:07:12,181 --> 00:07:14,475
Jim, could you come
in here for a sec?

140
00:07:15,727 --> 00:07:18,062
What was that printer
we were looking at?

141
00:07:20,106 --> 00:07:22,025
You didn't see it, Pam.

142
00:07:22,191 --> 00:07:24,694
She was giving me all sorts of signals
that she wanted me to make a move.

143
00:07:24,777 --> 00:07:25,820
Shortbread?

144
00:07:25,903 --> 00:07:27,322
I'll have one.

145
00:07:27,405 --> 00:07:29,824
Well, maybe you shouldn't
try to kiss people at work.

146
00:07:29,907 --> 00:07:32,327
Oh, really, Jim?
What about Pam?

147
00:07:32,410 --> 00:07:34,412
And you did a heck
of a lot more than kiss.

148
00:07:34,495 --> 00:07:35,788
Maybe this could
be my Pam.

149
00:07:35,872 --> 00:07:37,373
Okay, well,
all that is irrelevant...

150
00:07:37,457 --> 00:07:39,500
Maybe Michael
has a point.

151
00:07:39,834 --> 00:07:43,838
I mean, if she was really that
upset, she wouldn't still be here.

152
00:07:44,255 --> 00:07:46,215
Was it professional? No.

153
00:07:47,592 --> 00:07:50,720
But I work in the nightlife
industry. I get hit on all the time.

154
00:07:50,803 --> 00:07:53,931
In my 20s,
it would've been annoying.

155
00:07:54,015 --> 00:07:56,059
In my late 20s,
I find it really flattering.

156
00:07:56,851 --> 00:07:58,811
Look, I know that
I screwed up in there.

157
00:07:58,895 --> 00:08:00,563
I know that I probably
messed up your sale.

158
00:08:00,647 --> 00:08:02,106
I just want to go
in and fix it.

159
00:08:02,190 --> 00:08:04,692
What if I back out and you
finish the pitch with Jim?

160
00:08:04,776 --> 00:08:05,902
What?

161
00:08:06,569 --> 00:08:08,196
What was that?
Just let him flirt with her.

162
00:08:08,279 --> 00:08:10,198
People meet each
other all sorts of ways.

163
00:08:10,281 --> 00:08:13,201
Pam, you know he's not gonna get
anywhere and he's gonna blow our sale.

164
00:08:13,284 --> 00:08:14,661
Who cares?
It's not that huge a sale.

165
00:08:14,744 --> 00:08:17,830
Hey, the Schwab guy told us to
treat every sale like it was a huge sale.

166
00:08:17,914 --> 00:08:21,292
Don't act like you understood
anything that guy said.

167
00:08:22,877 --> 00:08:24,587
Good luck, wingman.

168
00:08:27,298 --> 00:08:29,842
How has being
a minority affected you?

169
00:08:29,926 --> 00:08:31,511
Well, there's a lot of
pressure from my parents

170
00:08:31,594 --> 00:08:33,888
to settle down
and marry an Indian guy.

171
00:08:33,971 --> 00:08:36,307
Oh, good. And you
resent this because...

172
00:08:36,391 --> 00:08:40,019
Indian guys always wear their cell
phones outside their pants. It's so dorky.

173
00:08:40,103 --> 00:08:44,774
No, no, no. That's not dorky. Look,
it's easily accessible. Boom. Like this.

174
00:08:45,108 --> 00:08:47,610
911, hello. Scranton
Strangler's in the house.

175
00:08:47,694 --> 00:08:49,320
Inside the house!

176
00:08:50,238 --> 00:08:52,115
Just put it
in your pocket.

177
00:08:53,700 --> 00:08:56,911
Look at that. She's
totally flirting with him.

178
00:08:57,078 --> 00:09:00,873
You don't know that. Some
people can't help oozing sexuality.

179
00:09:01,541 --> 00:09:03,918
You ever notice you
can only ooze two things?

180
00:09:04,001 --> 00:09:06,963
Sexuality and pus.
Man, I tell you.

181
00:09:07,505 --> 00:09:09,841
She just crossed her
arms together. That's bad.

182
00:09:09,924 --> 00:09:14,262
Maybe she's just pushing her breasts
together to make them look bigger.

183
00:09:18,850 --> 00:09:19,976
Like that?

184
00:09:20,059 --> 00:09:22,478
Is this the best
you can do right now?

185
00:09:22,562 --> 00:09:23,980
For that printer, yes.

186
00:09:24,147 --> 00:09:26,566
Unfortunately we don't
have a lot of flexibility.

187
00:09:26,649 --> 00:09:30,403
Oh. Well, I guess I'm just used
to the restaurant business where,

188
00:09:30,486 --> 00:09:33,239
if you're in charge then
you can always get discounts

189
00:09:33,322 --> 00:09:34,490
for the people
that you like.

190
00:09:34,574 --> 00:09:35,825
Yeah.

191
00:09:36,367 --> 00:09:38,953
Maybe we can find
a little wiggle room, right?

192
00:09:39,036 --> 00:09:40,079
What's that?

193
00:09:40,163 --> 00:09:41,748
Maybe we can find some
wiggle room.

194
00:09:41,831 --> 00:09:42,957
I don't...
I don't think so.

195
00:09:43,040 --> 00:09:44,917
I think we could.

196
00:09:46,836 --> 00:09:50,465
I don't see how we could possibly sell
these for that little without losing money.

197
00:09:50,548 --> 00:09:52,049
Delivery alone will cost...

198
00:09:52,133 --> 00:09:53,342
Okay, well, sometimes,

199
00:09:53,426 --> 00:09:58,639
sometimes it makes financial sense to
lose money, right? Like, for tax purposes.

200
00:09:58,848 --> 00:10:01,934
Actually, I ran the numbers
on this, and in this case,

201
00:10:02,018 --> 00:10:03,770
it makes more financial
sense to gain money.

202
00:10:03,853 --> 00:10:04,896
Why don't you
run them again?

203
00:10:04,979 --> 00:10:07,273
What if she's just flirting
with you to get a better price?

204
00:10:07,356 --> 00:10:08,483
If she is,
it's working.

205
00:10:08,566 --> 00:10:12,487
Yeah, Michael, here's a trick.
Ask her if she wants a mint.

206
00:10:12,945 --> 00:10:16,783
If she says no, then
she is not interested.

207
00:10:16,866 --> 00:10:18,701
She does not like him.

208
00:10:18,785 --> 00:10:23,456
You can flirt with someone to get what
you want and also be attracted to them.

209
00:10:23,539 --> 00:10:24,916
How do you think
we got together?

210
00:10:24,999 --> 00:10:26,751
"Cause I stopped by your
desk, like, 15 times a day.

211
00:10:26,834 --> 00:10:28,628
I was after your money.

212
00:10:28,711 --> 00:10:29,921
Well, the joke was on you.

213
00:10:30,004 --> 00:10:31,380
Yes, it was.

214
00:10:32,340 --> 00:10:33,716
Can you stop
micromanaging?

215
00:10:33,841 --> 00:10:35,635
I know how to do this.
You're yelling... Okay. Okay.

216
00:10:35,718 --> 00:10:36,719
What are you guys doing?

217
00:10:36,803 --> 00:10:38,513
This girl was really rude
to me at the mall,

218
00:10:38,596 --> 00:10:41,474
so I created a fake IM account
from a hot guy at her high school,

219
00:10:41,557 --> 00:10:42,975
and now I'm trying
to make her anorexic.

220
00:10:43,059 --> 00:10:45,311
Tell her everyone in
homeroom thinks she's fat.

221
00:10:45,394 --> 00:10:46,395
That is so good.

222
00:10:46,479 --> 00:10:48,564
You know, we really should
keep practicing for this interview.

223
00:10:48,648 --> 00:10:50,107
Oh, that's okay.
Ryan coached me.

224
00:10:50,191 --> 00:10:52,026
Ryan? What does he know?

225
00:10:52,109 --> 00:10:54,153
It's easy. You just turn every
question around on them.

226
00:10:54,237 --> 00:10:56,030
Do you think you're treated
differently because of your race?

227
00:10:56,113 --> 00:10:58,783
Would you ask that same
question if I was white?

228
00:10:58,866 --> 00:11:00,576
We're so in.
We?

229
00:11:01,035 --> 00:11:03,371
When I become executive,
I'm gonna make Ryan manager.

230
00:11:03,454 --> 00:11:06,290
And then the two of us
are cleaning house.

231
00:11:06,916 --> 00:11:08,918
Kelly will be
even worse than Darryl.

232
00:11:09,252 --> 00:11:10,378
If you'd have told
me this morning

233
00:11:10,461 --> 00:11:14,173
that today I'd be creating a monster
capable of my own destruction,

234
00:11:14,257 --> 00:11:18,177
I'd have thought you were referring to the
bull Mose and I are trying to reanimate.

235
00:11:18,427 --> 00:11:23,224
"So, corporate approval of this contract
is contingent upon buyer and seller

236
00:11:23,307 --> 00:11:26,143
"obtaining..."
Blah-de-blah-de-blah.

237
00:11:26,227 --> 00:11:29,480
"Boilerplate, pound
of fish." Just kidding.

238
00:11:30,481 --> 00:11:32,441
Do you like mints?
Yes.

239
00:11:32,525 --> 00:11:34,360
I carry mints
with me sometimes.

240
00:11:34,443 --> 00:11:35,611
Oh, I haven't
tried those.

241
00:11:35,695 --> 00:11:36,696
Ever tried those?
No.

242
00:11:36,779 --> 00:11:37,822
They're good.

243
00:11:37,905 --> 00:11:38,948
You want one?

244
00:11:40,199 --> 00:11:42,034
Sure.
It's like...

245
00:11:43,452 --> 00:11:47,206
"Cool... Certified cool." I
like how they say "certified."

246
00:11:48,207 --> 00:11:51,043
Like there's some
consortium of...

247
00:11:53,462 --> 00:11:54,547
Michael!

248
00:11:54,630 --> 00:11:55,798
I'm sorry.

249
00:11:56,966 --> 00:11:58,384
I can't stop myself
from kissing her.

250
00:11:58,467 --> 00:12:02,513
Yeah. Now you know how I feel
sitting next to those M&M's all day.

251
00:12:02,889 --> 00:12:04,307
Well, why don't you
just move the M&M's?

252
00:12:04,390 --> 00:12:05,808
Why don't you shut up?

253
00:12:05,892 --> 00:12:10,021
Okay. Guys, guys, guys, just tell me it's
not totally insane to try one more time.

254
00:12:10,104 --> 00:12:11,105
It is totally insane.

255
00:12:11,188 --> 00:12:13,733
Michael, he's right. You
are turning into a stalker.

256
00:12:13,816 --> 00:12:15,651
Okay.
What do you think?

257
00:12:16,027 --> 00:12:17,361
I think it's over, man.

258
00:12:17,737 --> 00:12:18,821
Andy?

259
00:12:21,240 --> 00:12:22,283
Okay, some for,
some against.

260
00:12:22,366 --> 00:12:23,409
Nobody's for.

261
00:12:23,492 --> 00:12:24,535
Pam.
Hmm?

262
00:12:24,619 --> 00:12:25,703
What do you think?

263
00:12:27,496 --> 00:12:28,706
I think it's really,
really unlikely.

264
00:12:28,789 --> 00:12:29,790
Okay.

265
00:12:29,874 --> 00:12:31,500
Really unlikely.

266
00:12:32,209 --> 00:12:33,753
But I can't say
that it's impossible.

267
00:12:33,836 --> 00:12:35,046
What?

268
00:12:35,212 --> 00:12:37,214
I'm not saying
she's in love with him,

269
00:12:37,298 --> 00:12:39,592
but she could have
left a while ago.

270
00:12:39,675 --> 00:12:43,095
Most printer sales are done
over the phone, Miss Boob Shirt.

271
00:12:43,220 --> 00:12:44,847
I'm going
with Pam's group.

272
00:12:44,931 --> 00:12:46,849
Wait. Michael.

273
00:12:48,017 --> 00:12:49,393
Okay.
Michael. Michael.

274
00:12:49,477 --> 00:12:53,439
No. Guys, guys, guys, guys,
just thank you for talking.

275
00:12:54,690 --> 00:12:56,359
- Wish me luck.
- No.

276
00:12:56,692 --> 00:12:59,487
What sort of movie would Rudy
have been if he had just stopped

277
00:12:59,570 --> 00:13:02,031
and given up
after two rejections?

278
00:13:04,116 --> 00:13:07,286
Would have been a lot shorter,
probably been a lot funnier,

279
00:13:07,370 --> 00:13:10,665
but it would have ultimately
been a disappointment.

280
00:13:10,873 --> 00:13:16,545
I still would have seen it,
but that's not the point.

281
00:13:19,548 --> 00:13:21,842
Kelly is disqualified.
What?

282
00:13:22,051 --> 00:13:24,011
You said the program
is not open to Caucasians.

283
00:13:24,095 --> 00:13:27,932
Well, anthropologically,
she is Indian.

284
00:13:28,015 --> 00:13:31,143
Indians migrated from the
Caucasus region of Europe.

285
00:13:31,227 --> 00:13:34,522
Therefore, technically, she is
Caucasian. You're welcome, America.

286
00:13:34,605 --> 00:13:36,107
Yeah, but she's
not white, though.

287
00:13:36,190 --> 00:13:38,567
Well, obviously
she's brownish,

288
00:13:38,651 --> 00:13:41,612
but come on. I mean,
Darryl is far more ethnic.

289
00:13:41,696 --> 00:13:43,489
Darryl withdrew
his application.

290
00:13:43,572 --> 00:13:48,411
The dates of the Yale program interfered
with his softball league, so he's gone.

291
00:13:49,120 --> 00:13:51,706
I got my whole life
to be a minority executive.

292
00:13:51,789 --> 00:13:54,458
I only have about a year
left in these knees, though.

293
00:13:54,625 --> 00:13:56,502
So Kelly is
the only applicant.

294
00:13:56,585 --> 00:13:58,587
Yeah, unless somebody
else applies today.

295
00:14:01,966 --> 00:14:04,593
Oh, dear God. Okay.

296
00:14:06,095 --> 00:14:09,849
Don't make any decisions
just yet. Okay? I'll be right back.

297
00:14:11,434 --> 00:14:12,560
Hello.

298
00:14:12,643 --> 00:14:15,146
That's very nice. I
never noticed that before.

299
00:14:15,229 --> 00:14:16,856
Sometimes my bangs cover it.

300
00:14:16,939 --> 00:14:21,193
Yeah. I don't want to be offensive,
but may I ask you what that means?

301
00:14:21,277 --> 00:14:23,779
I do find that offensive,
actually.

302
00:14:24,697 --> 00:14:27,783
We should have your
contract done by Thursday.

303
00:14:28,200 --> 00:14:31,203
Oh, great! Great. I will
look out for that stuff, then.

304
00:14:31,287 --> 00:14:32,788
Okay.
And...

305
00:14:33,706 --> 00:14:37,710
You know, I just wanted to say it was
really, really nice to do business with you.

306
00:14:37,793 --> 00:14:40,671
Yeah. It was nice to do
business with you, too.

307
00:14:40,755 --> 00:14:42,089
Thank you.

308
00:14:43,382 --> 00:14:44,925
Did I get everything?

309
00:14:45,009 --> 00:14:46,052
I don't know.

310
00:14:46,135 --> 00:14:47,219
I think so.

311
00:14:47,303 --> 00:14:48,387
Yeah, I think so.

312
00:14:49,138 --> 00:14:50,222
Okay.

313
00:14:52,850 --> 00:14:54,894
- So... Oh! Donna?
- Yeah.

314
00:14:54,977 --> 00:14:57,646
Do you need validation?
We don't validate.

315
00:14:57,730 --> 00:14:58,898
No. It's just
in the lot, so...

316
00:14:58,981 --> 00:15:00,066
Thank you so much.

317
00:15:00,149 --> 00:15:03,903
You're welcome.
You're welcome.

318
00:15:04,361 --> 00:15:05,529
Mmm.

319
00:15:06,864 --> 00:15:07,948
Bye.

320
00:15:09,992 --> 00:15:12,953
So, if you have...

321
00:15:13,037 --> 00:15:14,914
If there's any other
questions that you have...

322
00:15:14,997 --> 00:15:18,667
I don't have any
other questions.

323
00:15:19,168 --> 00:15:22,922
I'm just gonna make
my way down to...

324
00:15:23,005 --> 00:15:24,548
Okay.
All right. Bye.

325
00:15:24,632 --> 00:15:25,758
Bye-bye.

326
00:15:25,841 --> 00:15:27,093
Have a good elevator ride.

327
00:15:27,176 --> 00:15:28,219
Okay.

328
00:15:30,554 --> 00:15:32,473
What's that out there?

329
00:15:37,103 --> 00:15:39,021
Michael,
how did it go?

330
00:15:42,316 --> 00:15:45,820
How would one of you feel if I told
you I could put you on a fast track

331
00:15:45,903 --> 00:15:48,155
to an executive position
at this company?

332
00:15:48,239 --> 00:15:50,282
Holy cow.
I'd be so happy.

333
00:15:50,533 --> 00:15:51,909
I wasn't talking to you,
pale face.

334
00:15:51,992 --> 00:15:53,786
I know. I meant
I'd be happy for them.

335
00:15:53,869 --> 00:15:58,082
What I'm offering is a ticket on a bullet
train straight to middle management.

336
00:15:58,165 --> 00:16:00,376
Dwight, I know
these programs.

337
00:16:00,459 --> 00:16:04,547
Every color is important, because
together we make a rainbow.

338
00:16:04,713 --> 00:16:05,714
Yes.

339
00:16:05,798 --> 00:16:07,091
I'll slap you in the
face with a rainbow.

340
00:16:07,174 --> 00:16:08,551
Mmm.

341
00:16:09,218 --> 00:16:13,472
Speaking of rainbows, Oscar,
you are kind of a double minority.

342
00:16:14,348 --> 00:16:15,391
Gay.

343
00:16:15,474 --> 00:16:18,185
So, we at Sabre could really
benefit from your perspective.

344
00:16:18,269 --> 00:16:20,521
Dwight, we know
Kelly applied.

345
00:16:22,314 --> 00:16:25,234
We're not going to cross her, no
matter how good the program is.

346
00:16:25,317 --> 00:16:26,694
I can protect
you from Kelly.

347
00:16:27,862 --> 00:16:29,530
Will you get out
of here? Seriously.

348
00:16:29,822 --> 00:16:33,534
For hobbies, yoga,
belly dancing,

349
00:16:33,826 --> 00:16:36,370
snake-charming, beds
of nails, I like lying...

350
00:16:36,453 --> 00:16:40,958
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
This is Hidetosha Hacigawa.

351
00:16:41,041 --> 00:16:43,752
He would like to apply for the Sabre
Minority Executive Training Program,

352
00:16:43,836 --> 00:16:45,045
Print In All
Colors initiative.

353
00:16:45,129 --> 00:16:46,463
Dwight, what
are you doing?

354
00:16:46,547 --> 00:16:50,134
Helping heal America in a
dramatic fashion in the eleventh hour.

355
00:16:50,217 --> 00:16:52,136
God, I hate you so much.

356
00:16:52,219 --> 00:16:53,971
Caucasians.
Am I right?

357
00:16:55,347 --> 00:16:56,515
Have a seat.
I'll translate.

358
00:16:56,599 --> 00:16:58,142
Why? I don't
need translator...

359
00:16:58,225 --> 00:17:00,811
You don't know
what you need, just...

360
00:17:00,895 --> 00:17:03,522
Why don't you tell me
a little about yourself, Hide.

361
00:17:25,544 --> 00:17:26,879
Hey, Michael,
how you doing?

362
00:17:26,962 --> 00:17:29,173
I don't know.
I don't know.

363
00:17:29,632 --> 00:17:31,175
Can't really trust
my feelings anymore.

364
00:17:31,258 --> 00:17:34,887
You know what, Michael? For
what it's worth, I was wrong, too.

365
00:17:34,970 --> 00:17:36,555
I thought she was
interested in you.

366
00:17:36,639 --> 00:17:39,725
She suckered you, too?
Was it the cleavage?

367
00:17:39,808 --> 00:17:41,644
Yeah, and the
shoulder cutouts.

368
00:17:41,727 --> 00:17:44,313
Michael, you know,
it's easy to get fooled.

369
00:17:44,396 --> 00:17:48,651
Bob's warehouse guys flirt with
me all the time. It's mostly harmless.

370
00:17:49,151 --> 00:17:50,861
Usually I don't
let it go too far.

371
00:17:50,945 --> 00:17:54,073
You know, when I
tore my scrote, I was...

372
00:17:55,115 --> 00:17:59,245
I was seeing this really hot urologist
about it and thought she was into me,

373
00:17:59,328 --> 00:18:03,582
but now I think she was just doing
a bunch of stuff to bill my HMO.

374
00:18:03,666 --> 00:18:06,085
You know, she's touching
around down there.

375
00:18:06,168 --> 00:18:07,795
It's easy to
get confused.

376
00:18:07,878 --> 00:18:09,380
Michael, I think
Donna left this here.

377
00:18:09,463 --> 00:18:12,549
Should I put it in the lost and found
for 14 days and then I can take it home?

378
00:18:12,633 --> 00:18:13,676
God.

379
00:18:15,052 --> 00:18:17,054
She left this here? Okay.

380
00:18:18,639 --> 00:18:21,350
Maybe she wants me to
return this to her at her work.

381
00:18:21,433 --> 00:18:22,601
What? No.
No.

382
00:18:22,685 --> 00:18:23,686
No.

383
00:18:23,769 --> 00:18:25,187
Yeah. This could
be a signal.

384
00:18:25,521 --> 00:18:27,356
People don't just
take barrettes off.

385
00:18:27,439 --> 00:18:29,692
It's not a signal.
It's just a coincidence.

386
00:18:29,775 --> 00:18:30,943
No, it's not even
a coincidence.

387
00:18:31,026 --> 00:18:32,278
It's just something
that happened.

388
00:18:32,361 --> 00:18:33,487
Michael.
Well...

389
00:18:33,570 --> 00:18:38,033
She doesn't want you to return the
barrette. She's not interested in you.

390
00:18:39,201 --> 00:18:41,203
I know. I know. I know.
I'm sorry.

391
00:18:41,287 --> 00:18:44,748
I know. You're right. Thank
you. Thanks, everybody.

392
00:18:47,042 --> 00:18:48,043
No.

393
00:18:48,752 --> 00:18:50,004
Michael!

394
00:18:58,929 --> 00:19:00,180
Michael!

395
00:19:01,348 --> 00:19:04,560
Oh, you're still here.
I have your baguette.

396
00:19:06,395 --> 00:19:09,023
Everyone, it is my
pleasure to announce

397
00:19:09,106 --> 00:19:12,318
our newest member of the Sabre
Minority Executive Training Program,

398
00:19:12,401 --> 00:19:14,445
Kelly Rajanigandha Kapoor.

399
00:19:17,698 --> 00:19:19,825
They're going to be pretty
pleased in Tallahassee

400
00:19:19,908 --> 00:19:22,328
that I snagged
an Indian for the program.

401
00:19:22,411 --> 00:19:24,538
She'll be the first.
The program's mostly black.

402
00:19:24,621 --> 00:19:26,498
It's almost too black.

403
00:19:27,750 --> 00:19:29,752
That didn't sound right.

404
00:19:30,252 --> 00:19:32,838
And the best part is, is
that I get a business stipend

405
00:19:32,921 --> 00:19:34,840
- to buy all new clothes.
- Awesome.

406
00:19:34,923 --> 00:19:36,508
So you can totally buy
any of my old clothes

407
00:19:36,592 --> 00:19:37,634
that I'm not gonna
need anymore.

408
00:19:37,718 --> 00:19:38,802
Oh, my God,
thank you so much.

409
00:19:38,886 --> 00:19:41,889
I love that denim jumpsuit
you have. How much?

410
00:19:42,306 --> 00:19:45,809
Actually, I was thinking about clothes that
I was just going to give to Goodwill anyway.

411
00:19:45,893 --> 00:19:47,603
Great.
Hey, kiddo.

412
00:19:48,896 --> 00:19:51,899
Congratulations are in order.
You deserve it.

413
00:19:55,611 --> 00:19:57,279
Thank you, Dwight.
Oh.

414
00:19:57,738 --> 00:19:59,615
I'll never forget everything
that you've done for me.

415
00:19:59,698 --> 00:20:01,408
Gosh.

416
00:20:01,492 --> 00:20:02,951
Because I never
forget anything.

417
00:20:05,621 --> 00:20:09,875
Just once I would like to be a puppet
master and have nothing go wrong.

418
00:20:09,958 --> 00:20:11,627
Is that too much to ask?

419
00:20:11,835 --> 00:20:16,215
You know what? Everybody told me
that you weren't interested. Everybody.

420
00:20:16,298 --> 00:20:18,342
And I didn't believe them.

421
00:20:19,343 --> 00:20:21,136
And they were right.

422
00:20:22,429 --> 00:20:24,973
So, here's your barrette.

423
00:20:26,475 --> 00:20:28,936
No, you were right.

424
00:20:29,978 --> 00:20:31,897
Who?
You were right.

425
00:20:32,564 --> 00:20:34,149
About what?

426
00:20:34,233 --> 00:20:35,484
You were right.

427
00:20:42,199 --> 00:20:44,243
I'm sorry.
No. No. No.

428
00:20:44,326 --> 00:20:45,786
Nope.

429
00:20:52,584 --> 00:20:53,585
What happened?

430
00:20:53,669 --> 00:20:55,462
Kelly got into the
minority training program.

431
00:20:55,546 --> 00:20:59,842
Really? Oh, that's great.
That's such good news. I did it.

432
00:21:01,343 --> 00:21:02,678
I kissed. We kissed.

433
00:21:02,761 --> 00:21:03,804
Oh, Michael...

434
00:21:03,887 --> 00:21:06,265
No, I'm serious.
The... This happened.

435
00:21:07,057 --> 00:21:11,228
I went down to the parking lot
and I was... I returned her barrette.

436
00:21:15,357 --> 00:21:16,483
We...

437
00:21:17,359 --> 00:21:19,570
We did. Okay.
We did. We did.

438
00:21:20,362 --> 00:21:21,864
You know what?
It doesn't matter,

439
00:21:21,947 --> 00:21:25,576
because I know what happened,
and that is all that counts.

440
00:21:27,369 --> 00:21:28,787
I did do it!