1 00:00:00,208 --> 00:00:03,669 And the same thing goes for quarterly reports. They are unreadable. 2 00:00:03,753 --> 00:00:05,171 They're just numbers and boring and... 3 00:00:05,254 --> 00:00:06,255 Blech! 4 00:00:06,339 --> 00:00:09,425 So what I was thinking is that maybe we should have some sort of graphic, 5 00:00:09,509 --> 00:00:12,637 like if we have a bad quarter, put in a storm cloud. 6 00:00:14,931 --> 00:00:18,517 And when we have a good quarter, 7 00:00:18,601 --> 00:00:22,479 fireworks or a racecar. 8 00:00:23,356 --> 00:00:26,442 Doesn't have to be a racecar. Use your imagination. 9 00:00:26,526 --> 00:00:29,237 There's this cube on the screen, and it bounces around all day, 10 00:00:29,320 --> 00:00:33,157 and sometimes it looks like it's heading right into the corner of the screen, 11 00:00:33,241 --> 00:00:36,327 and then at the last minute, it hits a wall and bounces away. 12 00:00:36,410 --> 00:00:39,788 We are all just dying to see it go right into the corner. 13 00:00:41,999 --> 00:00:45,794 Pam claims that she saw it one day when she was alone in the conference room. 14 00:00:45,878 --> 00:00:48,797 Okay. I believe she thinks she saw it. 15 00:00:49,382 --> 00:00:52,093 I saw it. I saw it, and it was amazing. 16 00:00:52,176 --> 00:00:54,344 Who said I didn't see it? Did Jim say that I didn't see it? 17 00:00:54,428 --> 00:00:55,470 I saw it. 18 00:00:55,721 --> 00:00:58,473 We have a lot of colored paper here. 19 00:00:58,558 --> 00:01:00,977 Why, oh, why do we keep printing this on white? 20 00:01:01,060 --> 00:01:02,811 No! Come on! 21 00:01:02,895 --> 00:01:05,188 Yeah! I know. 22 00:01:05,940 --> 00:01:07,191 I know. It's bland. 23 00:01:07,275 --> 00:01:08,401 It's never going to happen. 24 00:01:08,484 --> 00:01:10,319 Dude, you gotta believe. 25 00:01:10,486 --> 00:01:13,030 Maybe we could have some sort of riddle? 26 00:01:13,114 --> 00:01:14,115 Wait for it. 27 00:01:14,198 --> 00:01:18,698 Like something that you have to look for, sort of a Where's Waldo? 28 00:01:24,625 --> 00:01:26,752 All right. All right. Let's quit while we're ahead. 29 00:01:26,836 --> 00:01:28,045 That was so awesome. 30 00:01:28,129 --> 00:01:30,464 That was awesome. Thank you. 31 00:01:31,966 --> 00:01:36,053 Some days I am just on fire. What can I say? 32 00:02:09,795 --> 00:02:11,463 Hey. There he is. 33 00:02:11,547 --> 00:02:13,215 Hey, Meredith. How are you feeling? 34 00:02:13,299 --> 00:02:15,050 I never thanked you for coming to the hospital. 35 00:02:15,134 --> 00:02:17,594 Oh, please. It was my pleasure. Well, we all came, so... 36 00:02:17,678 --> 00:02:19,888 Well, I really appreciate you coming. 37 00:02:19,972 --> 00:02:21,890 I'm singling you out. 38 00:02:23,100 --> 00:02:25,227 Anyway, I have this Sharpie, 39 00:02:25,311 --> 00:02:27,980 and I was wondering if you could sign my cast. 40 00:02:28,105 --> 00:02:29,523 Mmm-hmm. 41 00:02:34,695 --> 00:02:35,862 Can you write where I can read it? 42 00:02:35,946 --> 00:02:37,322 Oh, yeah. 43 00:02:43,162 --> 00:02:45,414 I'll read this when I get home. 44 00:02:45,498 --> 00:02:46,832 All right. 45 00:02:50,169 --> 00:02:52,421 Michael, this is the press release I was telling you about. 46 00:02:52,505 --> 00:02:54,215 Ryan wants you to share it with everyone. 47 00:02:54,298 --> 00:02:55,549 Does he? 48 00:02:55,633 --> 00:02:56,925 He does. 49 00:02:57,802 --> 00:02:59,887 Okay. Attention. 50 00:02:59,970 --> 00:03:02,013 Earthlings, I have some news. 51 00:03:02,098 --> 00:03:05,184 Beep, beep, beep. 52 00:03:05,267 --> 00:03:06,810 Beep, beep, beep. Okay. 53 00:03:06,894 --> 00:03:10,772 Today is the big day that I'm heading to New York to attend a party 54 00:03:10,856 --> 00:03:12,899 with sushi and important people. 55 00:03:13,150 --> 00:03:15,986 On an unrelated note, if anybody has an interesting anecdote 56 00:03:16,070 --> 00:03:17,946 that is not boring and easy to memorize, 57 00:03:18,030 --> 00:03:20,907 please drop by my office before I leave. Thank you. 58 00:03:21,617 --> 00:03:23,910 Is that really what Ryan wanted you to tell us? 59 00:03:23,994 --> 00:03:28,494 And today, the Dunder Mifflin Infinity website officially launches. 60 00:03:29,959 --> 00:03:33,462 Well, the website is the brainchild of my brainchild, Ryan. 61 00:03:33,546 --> 00:03:35,589 It is my brain-grandchild. 62 00:03:35,673 --> 00:03:37,883 And to celebrate its birth, 63 00:03:38,050 --> 00:03:41,053 all of the different branches are going to have satellite parties, 64 00:03:41,137 --> 00:03:44,890 which will be connected, via webcams and fibers, 65 00:03:44,974 --> 00:03:47,685 to the real party, which is going on in New York City 66 00:03:47,768 --> 00:03:50,729 at a very exclusive nightclub. 67 00:03:50,813 --> 00:03:54,358 That is where all of the VIPs, 68 00:03:54,442 --> 00:03:58,942 including yours truly, will be partying with New York City's finest. 69 00:03:59,822 --> 00:04:01,907 And I do not mean policemen. 70 00:04:02,241 --> 00:04:04,451 The company is projecting record high sales, 71 00:04:04,535 --> 00:04:08,580 and that by 6:00, the website will be the new best salesman in the company. 72 00:04:08,664 --> 00:04:09,915 Wow. Watch out, Dwight. 73 00:04:09,999 --> 00:04:12,710 That's ridiculous. I'm not gonna be beaten by a website. 74 00:04:12,793 --> 00:04:13,960 Actually it sounds like you are. 75 00:04:14,044 --> 00:04:15,920 Really? "Cause Ryan says so? 76 00:04:16,005 --> 00:04:18,590 That's from Ryan? Does it mention if he's seeing anybody? 77 00:04:18,674 --> 00:04:20,133 No, it doesn't. I'll find out tonight. 78 00:04:20,217 --> 00:04:21,718 Yes, please let us know. 79 00:04:21,802 --> 00:04:23,887 I can make more sales than a computer. 80 00:04:23,971 --> 00:04:27,349 In fact, I challenge that website to make more sales than me today. 81 00:04:27,433 --> 00:04:28,851 Waste of time. 82 00:04:28,934 --> 00:04:30,226 What's that, pipsqueak? 83 00:04:30,311 --> 00:04:33,022 Waste of time. The website's going to win. 84 00:04:33,105 --> 00:04:34,731 You believe a computer can beat me? 85 00:04:34,815 --> 00:04:35,982 I don't care, but yes. 86 00:04:36,066 --> 00:04:37,400 Well, I will prove you wrong. 87 00:04:37,485 --> 00:04:39,320 I don't care, and you won't. You'll see. 88 00:04:39,403 --> 00:04:41,196 I won't be watching, and I won't. 89 00:04:43,407 --> 00:04:45,492 Dwight mercy-killed Angela's cat. 90 00:04:45,868 --> 00:04:47,494 It's very complicated. 91 00:04:48,662 --> 00:04:52,123 It's caused a lot of unpleasantness between Dwight and Angela, 92 00:04:52,208 --> 00:04:54,335 who were both already prone to unpleasantness. 93 00:05:01,801 --> 00:05:03,552 Stanley, you're dancing. 94 00:05:03,636 --> 00:05:05,095 No, I'm not. 95 00:05:07,139 --> 00:05:09,891 Yeah, I created a website. 96 00:05:09,975 --> 00:05:13,979 Look, at the end of the day, Apple's apple is flying at 30,000 feet. 97 00:05:14,605 --> 00:05:16,064 This is a paper company, 98 00:05:16,148 --> 00:05:19,151 and I don't want us to get lost in the weeds or into a beauty contest. 99 00:05:19,235 --> 00:05:21,570 I told you I don't want you doing these things in here. 100 00:05:21,654 --> 00:05:23,989 You can use your own office or do it in the hall. 101 00:05:24,532 --> 00:05:27,243 Convergence, viral marketing, we're going guerilla, 102 00:05:27,326 --> 00:05:28,327 we're taking it the streets, 103 00:05:28,410 --> 00:05:30,412 while keeping an eye on the street, Wall Street. 104 00:05:30,496 --> 00:05:31,788 I don't want to reinvent the wheel here. 105 00:05:31,872 --> 00:05:34,499 In other words, it is what it is. 106 00:05:35,125 --> 00:05:37,168 Buying paper just became fun. 107 00:05:39,171 --> 00:05:42,757 And this is where I will record your sales. 108 00:05:43,592 --> 00:05:44,884 Very nice, very nice. 109 00:05:44,969 --> 00:05:48,847 And then I will say something positive like, "Kudos," 110 00:05:48,931 --> 00:05:50,599 or, "Job well done." 111 00:05:50,683 --> 00:05:52,768 Or, "Zip-a-dee-doo-dah!" 112 00:05:55,271 --> 00:05:56,730 I can't tell if he's mocking me. 113 00:05:56,814 --> 00:05:58,482 Just ignore him. 114 00:05:59,066 --> 00:06:02,235 I can't do that. It's really hard for me to let things go. 115 00:06:02,319 --> 00:06:04,487 I was mocking. 116 00:06:04,572 --> 00:06:06,031 Thank you. 117 00:06:07,074 --> 00:06:10,494 I just feel like we need something more to acknowledge when I make a sale. 118 00:06:10,578 --> 00:06:12,621 Yes! Like a chime or a bell. 119 00:06:12,705 --> 00:06:14,123 Or a gong. 120 00:06:20,379 --> 00:06:24,879 Go to my car, open the trunk, inside you will see many pelts. 121 00:06:25,426 --> 00:06:29,926 Under the smallest one is a case. Inside that case is a bear horn. 122 00:06:30,097 --> 00:06:31,264 Bring it to me. 123 00:06:31,348 --> 00:06:32,515 Yes! 124 00:06:38,731 --> 00:06:41,859 Isn't 7:00 p.m. a little late for a lunch party? 125 00:06:43,193 --> 00:06:46,404 Lunch party? It's supposed to say "Launch Party." 126 00:06:47,239 --> 00:06:48,657 What is wrong with you? 127 00:06:49,158 --> 00:06:53,203 Angela is worse than usual lately, and we have a party to throw, 128 00:06:53,787 --> 00:06:57,332 so I googled, "How to deal with difficult people.” 129 00:06:57,875 --> 00:06:59,585 And I got all of this. 130 00:07:00,711 --> 00:07:03,422 So we're gonna try out some new things today. 131 00:07:03,631 --> 00:07:06,967 So, how do you feel about the fact that the banner says "Lunch"? 132 00:07:07,259 --> 00:07:11,759 I feel angry. Angry at you. Angry at you for doing something stupid. 133 00:07:12,473 --> 00:07:15,809 Angry at me for believing you could do something not stupid. 134 00:07:17,519 --> 00:07:19,979 I'm so sorry to hear that. That must be awful. 135 00:07:20,064 --> 00:07:22,858 It is awful. You've made this day awful. 136 00:07:23,317 --> 00:07:26,361 Maybe you could just change the U into an A. 137 00:07:27,029 --> 00:07:29,114 Then it would say "Lanch Party," Kevin. 138 00:07:29,198 --> 00:07:31,158 Would it really be better if it said "Lanch Party"? 139 00:07:31,241 --> 00:07:32,283 Lunch party. 140 00:07:32,368 --> 00:07:33,869 It's supposed to say "Launch." 141 00:07:33,953 --> 00:07:35,579 Okay, wow, easy, booster seat. 142 00:07:35,663 --> 00:07:37,706 Nobody cares about this party anyway. 143 00:07:37,790 --> 00:07:38,791 I care. 144 00:07:38,874 --> 00:07:41,459 "Plan a party, Angela. Oh, and the entire world will see it. 145 00:07:41,543 --> 00:07:43,670 "Oh, and here's $65 for your budget. 146 00:07:43,754 --> 00:07:46,506 "Oh, and here are four idiots who will do nothing but weigh you down. 147 00:07:46,590 --> 00:07:48,091 "Oh, and your cat's still dead." 148 00:07:48,759 --> 00:07:49,968 Twenty seconds to go-time. 149 00:07:50,052 --> 00:07:51,678 Got it. Carb up. 150 00:07:52,638 --> 00:07:54,640 Really? Power Gel? 151 00:07:54,723 --> 00:07:57,976 Hey, if you want to win, you got to fuel like a winner. 152 00:07:58,811 --> 00:08:01,063 Okay, we start. 153 00:08:01,522 --> 00:08:04,233 As soon as I make this shot. 154 00:08:04,316 --> 00:08:05,525 Hey! Go! 155 00:08:05,609 --> 00:08:06,651 Yeah! 156 00:08:09,405 --> 00:08:10,489 Hello, Susan. Dwight Schrute. 157 00:08:10,572 --> 00:08:13,700 What would you say if I told you we could pull a prank on Dwight, 158 00:08:13,784 --> 00:08:15,994 at the same time, not be working? 159 00:08:17,538 --> 00:08:19,498 What? He's going through a breakup. 160 00:08:19,581 --> 00:08:22,875 Yeah. I'm aware of that, but he's also being super-annoying, 161 00:08:23,002 --> 00:08:24,003 and I'm not a perfect person. 162 00:08:25,170 --> 00:08:26,504 Yeah! Yeah! 163 00:08:26,588 --> 00:08:27,714 Got one! 164 00:08:27,798 --> 00:08:31,009 Three reams! In your face, machines! 165 00:08:32,553 --> 00:08:34,763 What kind of prank are you thinking? 166 00:08:35,764 --> 00:08:38,475 What if I told you I could offer free shipping? 167 00:08:38,559 --> 00:08:39,935 Sure, I'll hold. 168 00:08:57,870 --> 00:09:01,206 Not sure. Just became self-aware. 169 00:09:02,166 --> 00:09:03,792 So much to figure out. 170 00:09:04,501 --> 00:09:06,920 I think I am programmed to be your enemy. 171 00:09:07,379 --> 00:09:11,879 I think it is my job to destroy you when it comes to selling paper. 172 00:09:34,490 --> 00:09:37,075 It appears that the website has become alive. 173 00:09:37,367 --> 00:09:39,744 This happens to computers and robots sometimes. 174 00:09:39,828 --> 00:09:41,329 Am I scared of a stupid computer? 175 00:09:41,413 --> 00:09:44,249 Please, that computer should be scared of me. 176 00:09:44,333 --> 00:09:48,378 I have been salesman of the month for 13 out of the last 12 months. 177 00:09:48,462 --> 00:09:51,506 You heard me right. I did so well last February, 178 00:09:51,632 --> 00:09:54,509 that corporate gave me two plaques in lieu of a pay raise. 179 00:10:00,933 --> 00:10:02,476 Okay. 180 00:10:03,435 --> 00:10:04,727 Yes, it's too tight. 181 00:10:04,812 --> 00:10:05,813 Way too tight. 182 00:10:05,896 --> 00:10:06,897 Really? 183 00:10:06,980 --> 00:10:08,231 This is why I'm here? 184 00:10:08,315 --> 00:10:09,899 Why is it so tight? 185 00:10:09,983 --> 00:10:11,359 It's a European cut. 186 00:10:11,443 --> 00:10:13,153 It just looks bad. 187 00:10:13,987 --> 00:10:15,029 Um... 188 00:10:15,114 --> 00:10:18,575 Hey, what's hanging? 189 00:10:18,659 --> 00:10:20,410 Setting up the webcam for the party. 190 00:10:20,494 --> 00:10:22,120 Good, okay, cool. 191 00:10:26,458 --> 00:10:28,418 How many pounds do you think I can lose by 7:007? 192 00:10:28,502 --> 00:10:30,545 Depends. How much have you eaten already today? 193 00:10:30,629 --> 00:10:33,381 I had one of those big... 194 00:10:33,465 --> 00:10:35,592 Dunder Mifflin. This is Pam. 195 00:10:36,009 --> 00:10:39,554 Just one second. We're in a meeting. I'll see if he's available. 196 00:10:39,763 --> 00:10:40,972 It's Jan. 197 00:10:42,474 --> 00:10:44,893 Why don't you want to go tonight? What... 198 00:10:44,977 --> 00:10:46,812 All your friends are going to be there... My friends? 199 00:10:46,895 --> 00:10:48,271 It'll be fun. Michael, I was terminated. 200 00:10:48,647 --> 00:10:49,648 Just... 201 00:10:49,731 --> 00:10:50,940 Is it really that important to you? 202 00:10:51,024 --> 00:10:52,066 Yeah. 203 00:10:52,151 --> 00:10:53,527 All right. Thank you. 204 00:10:53,610 --> 00:10:55,111 Go by yourself. 205 00:10:55,195 --> 00:10:56,529 No. No. 206 00:10:56,697 --> 00:11:00,325 No. If I go by myself, everybody will think I'm a big loser. 207 00:11:01,577 --> 00:11:03,870 Well... Do I have your permission to invite Carole? 208 00:11:03,954 --> 00:11:05,038 What? Jeez, Michael! 209 00:11:05,122 --> 00:11:06,289 I'm sorry. 210 00:11:06,373 --> 00:11:10,126 I'm sorry. It's just the first girl that popped into my head. 211 00:11:10,210 --> 00:11:11,669 I'll find somebody that I haven't slept with. 212 00:11:13,088 --> 00:11:14,380 Nice. 213 00:11:14,464 --> 00:11:16,340 Website check, please. 214 00:11:16,425 --> 00:11:18,135 305. 215 00:11:18,218 --> 00:11:22,305 305. You, my friend, are winning handsomely. 216 00:11:23,140 --> 00:11:25,142 It just made another sale. 380. 217 00:11:25,225 --> 00:11:29,725 You, my friend, are in a very close second. 218 00:11:29,813 --> 00:11:30,855 402. 219 00:11:30,939 --> 00:11:32,732 Okay, why don't you just lay off, lady? 220 00:11:32,816 --> 00:11:35,026 What do you want me to do? Not announce it? 412. 221 00:11:39,573 --> 00:11:42,117 So, this is the dealio. 222 00:11:42,201 --> 00:11:44,494 God has smiled upon me 223 00:11:44,578 --> 00:11:48,081 and given me two tickets to the big party in New York, tonight. 224 00:11:48,165 --> 00:11:50,417 What are you doing this evening? 225 00:11:54,546 --> 00:11:55,880 Look at that. 226 00:11:55,964 --> 00:11:58,591 They have their own little language now, like twins. 227 00:11:58,675 --> 00:11:59,717 Sure, we'll go. 228 00:11:59,801 --> 00:12:01,636 All right. Well, fight it out amongst yourselves. 229 00:12:01,720 --> 00:12:03,388 I was thinking Pammy, 230 00:12:03,472 --> 00:12:05,265 but boys' night out is also good. 231 00:12:05,349 --> 00:12:06,808 I'm sorry. What? 232 00:12:08,143 --> 00:12:09,477 One of the tickets is for him. 233 00:12:09,561 --> 00:12:11,854 Just let me know who the winner is. 234 00:12:14,233 --> 00:12:15,275 Not it. Not it. No! 235 00:12:15,359 --> 00:12:16,401 I won. 236 00:12:16,485 --> 00:12:18,445 Definitely not. If anything it was a tie. 237 00:12:18,528 --> 00:12:20,321 Tie goes to the girlfriend. 238 00:12:21,448 --> 00:12:25,452 No, I realize you normally reorder in November, but what I'm suggesting... 239 00:12:25,869 --> 00:12:27,537 You did what? 240 00:12:28,121 --> 00:12:31,165 No. That's exactly what you're not supposed to do, damn it! 241 00:12:31,250 --> 00:12:32,751 Why would you reorder from a computer 242 00:12:32,834 --> 00:12:35,628 when you could have the personal touch of a salesman? 243 00:12:37,422 --> 00:12:38,840 How's it going? Fine. Good. 244 00:12:38,924 --> 00:12:40,300 Yeah? Yeah. 245 00:12:40,717 --> 00:12:41,759 You look a little worried. 246 00:12:41,843 --> 00:12:43,761 I do not look worried. 247 00:12:58,110 --> 00:12:59,402 "Here's a suggestion, computer. 248 00:12:59,486 --> 00:13:02,822 "I assume you read binary, so why don't you zero, one, one, 249 00:13:02,906 --> 00:13:05,950 "one, one, one, Zero, one, one, zero, one, one?" 250 00:13:06,326 --> 00:13:07,577 Okay. 251 00:13:07,661 --> 00:13:11,873 While you were typing that, I searched every database in existence 252 00:13:11,957 --> 00:13:16,169 and learned every fact about everything and mastered the violin. 253 00:13:19,131 --> 00:13:21,299 And sold more paper. 254 00:13:31,601 --> 00:13:34,770 I asked for assorted cutlery, and I got back spoons. 255 00:13:34,855 --> 00:13:36,439 These are worthless. 256 00:13:36,523 --> 00:13:38,316 I want to understand what you're saying, 257 00:13:38,400 --> 00:13:41,319 but it's difficult for me when you use that tone. 258 00:13:43,989 --> 00:13:47,701 Phyllis, these are spoons. 259 00:13:47,784 --> 00:13:52,284 Spoons have rounded tops and are used to scoop things. 260 00:13:53,165 --> 00:13:55,041 What we need are forks, 261 00:13:55,125 --> 00:13:58,920 which have prongs or tiny spears on top. 262 00:13:59,463 --> 00:14:02,799 And we need knives, which have blades. 263 00:14:03,717 --> 00:14:05,468 Do you understand me now? 264 00:14:06,136 --> 00:14:07,554 Yes. 265 00:14:07,637 --> 00:14:08,888 Goodie. 266 00:14:13,518 --> 00:14:14,727 Hey, man. What's up, man? 267 00:14:14,811 --> 00:14:16,646 What's going on? Paper delivery. 268 00:14:16,730 --> 00:14:18,398 Oh, yeah? Kelly ordered this online. 269 00:14:30,160 --> 00:14:31,286 What are you doing? 270 00:14:31,370 --> 00:14:33,163 I am in the fight of my life against this computer, 271 00:14:33,246 --> 00:14:34,497 and every sale counts. 272 00:14:34,581 --> 00:14:37,208 But you get to put the paper in this little shopping cart and then it says, 273 00:14:37,292 --> 00:14:39,752 "Thanks for shopping with Dunder Mifflin." 274 00:14:39,961 --> 00:14:43,673 Damn it, Kelly! It knows! It knows what you did! 275 00:14:43,757 --> 00:14:44,758 Who knows? 276 00:14:44,841 --> 00:14:45,883 Return it! Return it now! 277 00:14:45,967 --> 00:14:47,176 Hey. 278 00:14:48,220 --> 00:14:50,347 How about instead of yelling at our sweet little Miss Kapour 279 00:14:50,430 --> 00:14:53,057 over 500 sheets of paper, you get back to your desk 280 00:14:53,141 --> 00:14:55,726 and start selling multiple reams like a man. 281 00:14:56,520 --> 00:14:58,063 You don't understand. 282 00:14:59,147 --> 00:15:00,773 Okay, if this makes the difference, 283 00:15:00,857 --> 00:15:03,985 I'm going to tell it that you were responsible. 284 00:15:04,069 --> 00:15:05,779 Who's "it"? 285 00:15:11,201 --> 00:15:12,202 There you go. 286 00:15:12,285 --> 00:15:13,577 Thanks. 287 00:15:13,662 --> 00:15:15,497 So, you still missing Ryan? 288 00:15:16,123 --> 00:15:17,624 Not so much anymore. 289 00:15:22,671 --> 00:15:24,339 I am not a bad person. 290 00:15:24,423 --> 00:15:26,883 When I left Staples, I took some of their leads with me, 291 00:15:26,967 --> 00:15:29,052 but I never intended to use them. 292 00:15:29,136 --> 00:15:30,887 What did I intend to do with them? 293 00:15:31,304 --> 00:15:34,557 Who knows? Maybe keep them as a souvenir, 294 00:15:34,641 --> 00:15:35,808 maybe use them. 295 00:15:36,393 --> 00:15:39,729 Yes, Mr. Galioto, how would you like to pay 10% less for paper 296 00:15:39,813 --> 00:15:41,689 than you're paying right now? 297 00:15:42,399 --> 00:15:44,442 It's not important how I got your information. 298 00:15:44,526 --> 00:15:48,571 What is important is that you say yes. Good. 299 00:15:48,655 --> 00:15:51,157 All right, I'm ready to go, and I'm calling shotgun. 300 00:15:51,241 --> 00:15:52,242 I'm driving? 301 00:15:52,325 --> 00:15:53,743 Yes. Thank you. 302 00:15:53,827 --> 00:15:55,411 All right. Let me just say goodbye to Pam. 303 00:15:55,495 --> 00:15:59,373 Oh, yeah. You better say goodbye to Pam. Say goodbye to Pam. 304 00:16:00,333 --> 00:16:03,586 Bye. I love you. 305 00:16:07,007 --> 00:16:08,466 I love you. Okay. 306 00:16:08,550 --> 00:16:11,386 I'm leaving inside Jim's car 307 00:16:11,470 --> 00:16:13,722 I don't know when I'll be back again 308 00:16:13,805 --> 00:16:18,305 Yes, I do, tomorrow I'll be back 309 00:16:18,727 --> 00:16:20,270 I'll be back tomorrow. 310 00:16:20,770 --> 00:16:24,482 Yeah, so you know what? Why don't you guys take off a little bit early tonight? 311 00:16:24,566 --> 00:16:26,150 Because there's a party. 312 00:16:26,234 --> 00:16:29,570 A party for the website I've been planning for two weeks. 313 00:16:29,654 --> 00:16:33,908 If you are not this tall, you may not ride the rollercoaster. 314 00:16:33,992 --> 00:16:35,034 See you guys tomorrow. 315 00:16:35,118 --> 00:16:38,204 Perfect. So let me just get some basic information from you. 316 00:16:47,005 --> 00:16:50,883 Sorry. I'm so sorry. Yes. Could you repeat that? 317 00:16:54,054 --> 00:16:57,057 Yes! Ten reams for the U.S. District Court! 318 00:16:58,725 --> 00:17:01,310 Did I happen to mention the 40 reams for the Battered Women's Shelter? 319 00:17:01,394 --> 00:17:02,645 No! 320 00:17:07,526 --> 00:17:09,861 Stop it. Give me that. Give it. 321 00:17:10,403 --> 00:17:11,654 Did you see the board? 322 00:17:11,738 --> 00:17:13,656 There's still an hour. 323 00:17:15,867 --> 00:17:17,577 You ever read this? 324 00:17:17,661 --> 00:17:20,705 Yeah. A long time ago, but I liked it. 325 00:17:20,789 --> 00:17:22,165 I got it for Ryan. 326 00:17:22,582 --> 00:17:24,417 I wanted to get him Oh, the Places You'll Go! 327 00:17:24,501 --> 00:17:25,543 But they were sold out. 328 00:17:25,627 --> 00:17:28,504 I figured it's the same sort of stuff in here. 329 00:17:28,588 --> 00:17:31,132 It's not. It's different. It's a good book. 330 00:17:33,426 --> 00:17:34,468 What was that? 331 00:17:34,553 --> 00:17:36,221 Leaving Pennsylvania. 332 00:17:37,889 --> 00:17:39,307 Two kisses. 333 00:17:39,391 --> 00:17:40,642 One for me. One for Jan. 334 00:17:40,725 --> 00:17:41,726 Gotcha. 335 00:17:41,810 --> 00:17:43,311 You guys should come over for dinner, you and Pam. 336 00:17:43,395 --> 00:17:44,896 That would be fun. Friday? That would be fun. 337 00:17:44,980 --> 00:17:46,856 Want to come over Friday? Can't. 338 00:17:46,940 --> 00:17:48,483 After work, you... 339 00:17:48,567 --> 00:17:50,193 Oh, no, 'cause... 340 00:17:53,113 --> 00:17:54,656 You're gonna let me know when we're close, right? 341 00:17:54,739 --> 00:17:56,657 Yes. Actually, I will tell you right now. 342 00:17:56,741 --> 00:18:01,241 It's a club called Chat Room, and there's a password to get in, 343 00:18:01,371 --> 00:18:03,623 which is actually "Password," so... 344 00:18:03,707 --> 00:18:04,791 Okay. 345 00:18:05,500 --> 00:18:06,709 What are you doing? 346 00:18:06,793 --> 00:18:08,920 That is an invitation to an online party. 347 00:18:09,379 --> 00:18:11,214 No. No. I'm sure that's not. 348 00:18:12,090 --> 00:18:15,718 Are there three "W's" at the beginning of the address? 349 00:18:18,138 --> 00:18:19,514 Yes. Yeah. 350 00:18:21,349 --> 00:18:25,849 Well, the invitation says VIPs only. Is this how you treat your VIPs, Ryan? 351 00:18:27,981 --> 00:18:30,149 We're already in the city. 352 00:18:30,233 --> 00:18:33,653 The main part, with the buildings. What am I supposed to do? 353 00:18:33,737 --> 00:18:34,863 What do you want me to do tonight? 354 00:18:34,946 --> 00:18:36,155 And if you tell me 355 00:18:36,239 --> 00:18:39,242 that I have to drive back to Scranton to the satellite party, 356 00:18:39,326 --> 00:18:41,036 I am going to throw up. 357 00:18:42,412 --> 00:18:44,038 Okay, I am going to throw up. 358 00:18:44,122 --> 00:18:46,582 I'm throwing up. You're making me throw up, Ryan. 359 00:18:46,666 --> 00:18:48,834 You know what this is like? I'll tell you what this is like. 360 00:18:48,918 --> 00:18:51,086 This is like when the freshmen would throw a party 361 00:18:51,171 --> 00:18:53,548 and wouldn't let any of the seniors go. 362 00:18:55,592 --> 00:18:59,554 Doesn't it just piss you off sometimes that little twerp got the promotion over us? 363 00:18:59,638 --> 00:19:01,973 Actually, I withdrew from consideration. 364 00:19:02,057 --> 00:19:03,892 Yeah. I withdrew too. 365 00:19:12,442 --> 00:19:16,779 Four, three, two, one! 366 00:19:16,863 --> 00:19:18,155 Yes! 367 00:19:20,367 --> 00:19:22,702 After numerous projections that the computer 368 00:19:22,786 --> 00:19:24,996 would crush all salesmen in its path, 369 00:19:25,080 --> 00:19:29,580 I am very happy to report that our very own Dwight Schrute 370 00:19:29,751 --> 00:19:33,838 has crushed his electronic nemesis, if you will, 371 00:19:33,922 --> 00:19:36,299 by a whopping 52 reams. 372 00:19:36,383 --> 00:19:37,592 Reams. 373 00:19:37,842 --> 00:19:39,385 Wait, say it again. Announce it again. 374 00:19:39,469 --> 00:19:40,470 Fifty-two reams! 375 00:19:40,553 --> 00:19:41,595 No, no. No, the first part. 376 00:19:41,680 --> 00:19:44,349 Dwight has defeated the computer. 377 00:19:45,517 --> 00:19:49,437 Hey, so, what do you think? 378 00:19:50,897 --> 00:19:52,231 I did it for you. 379 00:19:52,315 --> 00:19:54,150 I didn't ask you to do it for me. 380 00:19:54,567 --> 00:19:56,068 You didn't have to. 381 00:19:57,529 --> 00:19:59,405 How do you tell someone it's over? 382 00:19:59,489 --> 00:20:03,989 You send them a notarized letter, right? Well, what if the recipient is your notary? 383 00:20:07,247 --> 00:20:08,665 Hello, Pam. 384 00:20:08,748 --> 00:20:10,499 Hello. Hey, 385 00:20:10,583 --> 00:20:12,918 do you have any men that you can fix me up with? 386 00:20:13,002 --> 00:20:15,671 I would like to have a relationship with a man. 387 00:20:17,590 --> 00:20:19,008 I'll get back to you. 388 00:20:19,092 --> 00:20:20,551 Let me know. 389 00:20:36,234 --> 00:20:37,985 All right, who wants to party? 390 00:20:38,069 --> 00:20:39,111 Why aren't you in New York? 391 00:20:39,195 --> 00:20:40,738 What? 392 00:20:40,822 --> 00:20:42,782 I think I faked Oscar out. 393 00:20:42,866 --> 00:20:45,118 You said you weren't coming back and we could leave early. 394 00:20:45,201 --> 00:20:46,952 I think I faked Stanley out, too. 395 00:20:47,036 --> 00:20:49,955 Who else thought that I was leaving and that you could all go home early? 396 00:20:50,039 --> 00:20:52,666 Gotcha, gotcha, gotcha. 397 00:20:52,751 --> 00:20:54,836 Well, who needs New York? 398 00:20:54,919 --> 00:20:57,463 Right? We can have a killer party right here in Scranton. 399 00:20:57,547 --> 00:20:58,631 Thank you. 400 00:20:58,715 --> 00:21:01,801 No, no, no. This is going to be nothing like the party you've been planning. 401 00:21:01,885 --> 00:21:05,471 This is going to be good, and everybody's gonna come. 402 00:21:06,598 --> 00:21:08,308 What's wrong with Dwight? 403 00:21:08,391 --> 00:21:09,433 He beat the computer. 404 00:21:09,517 --> 00:21:13,354 Hey, good for you. Good for you! Scranton power. 405 00:21:14,481 --> 00:21:15,732 All right, you know what? 406 00:21:15,815 --> 00:21:17,900 Angela, I'd like you to come into my office in 10 minutes. 407 00:21:17,984 --> 00:21:20,361 Bring something to write with and something to write on. 408 00:21:20,445 --> 00:21:21,529 Good! 409 00:21:24,908 --> 00:21:27,285 It was a pretty disappointing day. 410 00:21:27,368 --> 00:21:31,705 It was kind of a slap in the face to realize that 411 00:21:32,582 --> 00:21:35,209 I wasn't as important as I thought I was 412 00:21:35,293 --> 00:21:38,379 to a certain young executive who I'd cared about. 413 00:21:38,963 --> 00:21:41,966 But, you know, I'm not gonna cry over it. 414 00:21:42,842 --> 00:21:44,426 I did that in the car on the way home. 415 00:21:44,761 --> 00:21:45,803 How are we doing on time? 416 00:21:45,887 --> 00:21:47,138 The party starts in an hour. 417 00:21:47,222 --> 00:21:50,558 Good. These are some things that I would like to have happen. 418 00:21:52,352 --> 00:21:54,771 "Beer, light beer, streamers, orchids, 419 00:21:54,854 --> 00:21:56,647 "better lighting, something made of ice"? 420 00:21:56,731 --> 00:21:58,441 Those are just things. This is how I want it to feel. 421 00:21:58,525 --> 00:22:01,986 "Pizza, pizza with mushrooms, pizza without mushrooms, white pizza, steak"? 422 00:22:02,070 --> 00:22:05,406 I would like this party to be sexier, 423 00:22:05,490 --> 00:22:07,158 cooler, more important... 424 00:22:07,242 --> 00:22:08,993 "Chocolates, someone famous"? 425 00:22:09,077 --> 00:22:10,161 Yes. "Cool music, 426 00:22:10,245 --> 00:22:12,121 "confetti, go-go dancers"? 427 00:22:12,205 --> 00:22:14,999 I want it to embarrass all other parties. 428 00:22:15,083 --> 00:22:18,336 I want it to be a party that the guys in New York 429 00:22:18,419 --> 00:22:22,919 watch on the webcam and say, "Wow, how did they get Al Roker to come?" 430 00:22:23,675 --> 00:22:24,926 I can't do this. Yes, you can. 431 00:22:25,009 --> 00:22:26,010 I can't do it. 432 00:22:26,094 --> 00:22:27,804 Yes, you can. I know you can. 433 00:22:27,887 --> 00:22:30,306 I wouldn't say that if I didn't 100% believe it. 434 00:22:30,390 --> 00:22:32,058 Who else could do this? 435 00:22:33,059 --> 00:22:34,351 Okay. Okay. 436 00:22:34,435 --> 00:22:36,395 No, seriously, is there anyone else who could do it better? 437 00:22:36,479 --> 00:22:38,689 Because we don't have a lot of time. 438 00:22:40,358 --> 00:22:42,109 I'll get the pizza! 439 00:22:50,326 --> 00:22:52,161 What do you think of Angela? 440 00:22:54,080 --> 00:22:55,498 I think she's efficient. 441 00:22:55,582 --> 00:22:58,084 No, not like that. As a woman. 442 00:22:58,751 --> 00:23:01,754 W-O-M-A-N. 443 00:23:01,838 --> 00:23:03,756 I hadn't noticed. 444 00:23:03,840 --> 00:23:05,925 You hadn't noticed she's a woman? 445 00:23:07,760 --> 00:23:10,179 I hear she's single and ready to mingle. 446 00:23:10,388 --> 00:23:12,890 I'm thinking about making a play for her. 447 00:23:13,057 --> 00:23:15,059 What do you think? Crazy, right? 448 00:23:15,560 --> 00:23:18,729 I think it's inappropriate to date someone you work with. 449 00:23:18,980 --> 00:23:20,189 Isn't that part of the fun? 450 00:23:20,273 --> 00:23:22,525 No. I think you should date Kelly. 451 00:23:23,568 --> 00:23:26,237 She works here, too. How is that any different? 452 00:23:26,696 --> 00:23:28,489 She works in the annex. 453 00:23:29,449 --> 00:23:31,576 You're also welcome to date Toby. 454 00:23:33,828 --> 00:23:34,912 Okay. 455 00:23:35,914 --> 00:23:37,916 Good news! We get to go home? 456 00:23:37,999 --> 00:23:42,461 Guess who just ordered from your favorite pizza place, Alfredo. 457 00:23:43,046 --> 00:23:44,130 Wait. 458 00:23:44,881 --> 00:23:48,759 Alfredo's Pizza Cafe? Or Pizza By Alfredo? 459 00:23:49,302 --> 00:23:50,344 Same thing. 460 00:23:50,428 --> 00:23:51,720 No. No, it's not. 461 00:23:51,804 --> 00:23:53,138 All right. You know what? I don't understand 462 00:23:53,222 --> 00:23:54,431 when you all talk at the same time. 463 00:23:54,515 --> 00:23:56,850 Oscar, talk to him. 464 00:23:56,935 --> 00:23:59,854 Michael, there's a very big difference between these two pizza places, 465 00:23:59,938 --> 00:24:04,233 both in quality of ingredients and in overall taste. 466 00:24:04,317 --> 00:24:06,235 Which one did you order from? 467 00:24:07,779 --> 00:24:09,655 Pizza By Alfredo. 468 00:24:09,739 --> 00:24:12,491 All right, you know what? Okay, okay, what is better? 469 00:24:12,575 --> 00:24:17,075 A medium amount of good pizza or all you can eat of pretty good pizza? 470 00:24:17,747 --> 00:24:20,166 Medium amount of good pizza. Medium amount of good pizza. 471 00:24:21,626 --> 00:24:26,126 Oh, no, it's bad. It's real bad. 472 00:24:27,048 --> 00:24:29,884 It's like eating a hot circle of garbage. 473 00:24:33,054 --> 00:24:35,598 You can pick one of these things. 474 00:24:35,682 --> 00:24:38,726 It's unreasonable for you to ask me to do all of this. 475 00:24:39,394 --> 00:24:43,147 It should take you no time at all if you put the care into it that you normally do. 476 00:24:46,734 --> 00:24:47,943 Ow! 477 00:24:48,027 --> 00:24:49,737 That seemed to shut her up. 478 00:24:53,241 --> 00:24:54,242 You looking for dinner and a movie? 479 00:24:54,325 --> 00:24:57,077 "Cause you're not gonna find it in that box. 480 00:24:59,247 --> 00:25:02,708 It just so happens, I know where you can find it, but again, 481 00:25:04,377 --> 00:25:06,379 not in the box. 482 00:25:09,590 --> 00:25:11,967 Angela, are you hearing words that I'm saying? 483 00:25:12,051 --> 00:25:13,177 What? 484 00:25:13,261 --> 00:25:14,470 Hello. 485 00:25:15,304 --> 00:25:16,972 I have been working on a party for three weeks 486 00:25:17,056 --> 00:25:18,474 that just got thrown out the window, 487 00:25:18,558 --> 00:25:20,726 so now I have to pull together a whole new party, 488 00:25:20,810 --> 00:25:22,561 and my useless number two quit. 489 00:25:22,645 --> 00:25:24,271 So now there's no one in charge of orchids, 490 00:25:24,355 --> 00:25:26,315 chocolates or the thing that's made of ice. 491 00:25:26,399 --> 00:25:28,192 And my upper back itches, and it's itched all day, 492 00:25:28,276 --> 00:25:31,737 and I can't reach it. And Kevin had Greek food for lunch again! 493 00:25:35,450 --> 00:25:38,536 They say you should never mix business with pleasure. 494 00:25:38,619 --> 00:25:39,661 Really? 495 00:25:39,746 --> 00:25:43,541 Well, then explain to me how a putt-putt golf company operates. 496 00:25:48,588 --> 00:25:49,630 Yeah? 497 00:25:49,714 --> 00:25:51,340 The Pizza By Alfredo guy is here. 498 00:25:51,424 --> 00:25:52,633 You don't have to say it like that. 499 00:25:52,717 --> 00:25:53,968 I said it normal. 500 00:25:58,514 --> 00:25:59,890 Hey. 501 00:25:59,974 --> 00:26:02,476 $63.50, and that's not including tip. 502 00:26:02,560 --> 00:26:04,019 Right. I have a coupon, 503 00:26:04,103 --> 00:26:07,815 so half of $63.50 and half the tip on $63.50... 504 00:26:07,899 --> 00:26:10,818 Half-off coupons only apply to orders of two pizzas. 505 00:26:10,902 --> 00:26:13,613 Yeah, no, I told them on the phone I was ordering eight pizzas. 506 00:26:13,696 --> 00:26:15,114 I don't care what you told them on the phone. 507 00:26:15,198 --> 00:26:16,908 That's our policy. 508 00:26:16,991 --> 00:26:19,827 You didn't actually think that I was going to spend 60 bucks on pizza? 509 00:26:19,911 --> 00:26:21,162 It's not pizza. Okay. 510 00:26:21,245 --> 00:26:25,624 It doesn't say it anywhere on the coupon, and if it's your policy, 511 00:26:25,708 --> 00:26:27,710 it should say it on the coupon. 512 00:26:28,211 --> 00:26:29,754 What do you mean? 513 00:26:29,837 --> 00:26:30,838 Not my problem. 514 00:26:30,922 --> 00:26:32,381 It is your problem. 515 00:26:33,216 --> 00:26:37,716 That's no way to do business, okay? I ordered 516 00:26:38,054 --> 00:26:39,472 eight pizzas with a half-off coupon, 517 00:26:39,555 --> 00:26:42,891 so I would like eight pizzas for half-off. End of story. 518 00:26:42,975 --> 00:26:46,687 It's a great story. It's $63.50, and that's not including tip. 519 00:26:46,771 --> 00:26:48,272 I'm not giving that to you. 520 00:26:48,356 --> 00:26:50,358 Well, then you're not getting your pizzas. 521 00:26:50,441 --> 00:26:52,401 No. No! You're not... No! 522 00:26:52,485 --> 00:26:56,030 You are not going anywhere! You're going to stay here 523 00:26:56,114 --> 00:26:58,366 until we figure this out! What? 524 00:26:58,449 --> 00:27:02,949 You know what? This young man needs to learn that that's not how you treat people! 525 00:27:04,664 --> 00:27:05,998 I don't care if it's pizza! 526 00:27:06,082 --> 00:27:10,461 Good business is about respect and accountability and follow-through. 527 00:27:10,545 --> 00:27:12,296 You don't just make promises 528 00:27:12,380 --> 00:27:15,299 and pull the rug out from under somebody, do you? 529 00:27:15,383 --> 00:27:18,219 Dwight, please escort this young man into the conference room. 530 00:27:18,302 --> 00:27:19,469 Right now. Get into the conference room. 531 00:27:19,554 --> 00:27:21,138 I'm not going in there. Yeah, you are. Yeah, you are. 532 00:27:21,222 --> 00:27:23,974 And you will come out when you decide to give me a discount on the pizza. 533 00:27:24,058 --> 00:27:25,476 Please. Thank you. 534 00:27:26,185 --> 00:27:27,186 This is stupid. 535 00:27:27,270 --> 00:27:30,022 No, you don't even know what stupid is. 536 00:27:31,023 --> 00:27:33,942 It's about to get all stupid up in here! 537 00:27:47,373 --> 00:27:49,208 You find anything? 538 00:27:49,292 --> 00:27:51,794 We think it's a straightforward kidnapping. 539 00:27:52,378 --> 00:27:54,129 Stanley, could you look up accomplices? 540 00:27:54,213 --> 00:27:55,589 Why can't you guys do it? 541 00:27:55,673 --> 00:27:57,841 Because we're looking up jail time. 542 00:27:58,176 --> 00:27:59,719 Fine. 543 00:27:59,802 --> 00:28:00,928 I've seen this kid before. 544 00:28:01,012 --> 00:28:03,389 He's one of the kids that sneaks onto my farm and steals my hemp. 545 00:28:03,723 --> 00:28:07,268 Yeah, I know that guy. He's that farmer that grows really crappy weed. 546 00:28:15,193 --> 00:28:17,153 You ready to give me my discount now? 547 00:28:17,236 --> 00:28:18,362 No. 548 00:28:18,905 --> 00:28:20,781 Okay, what have you been doing in here this whole time? 549 00:28:20,865 --> 00:28:22,116 What kind of business is this? 550 00:28:22,200 --> 00:28:23,326 We're a paper company. 551 00:28:23,409 --> 00:28:25,077 The best paper company in the whole wide world, okay? 552 00:28:25,161 --> 00:28:27,204 All right, Dwight, knock it off. 553 00:28:28,414 --> 00:28:30,416 You'd better think about what you are doing, young man. 554 00:28:30,499 --> 00:28:32,000 You better think about what you're doing. 555 00:28:32,084 --> 00:28:36,584 No! I'm an adult. I don't have to think or do anything. 556 00:28:36,672 --> 00:28:40,008 You're a kid. You're a little, snot-nosed punk kid 557 00:28:40,092 --> 00:28:42,260 who thinks he's better than everybody else, 558 00:28:42,345 --> 00:28:43,763 because he's some hotshot. 559 00:28:43,846 --> 00:28:46,223 And you don't know anything about sales! 560 00:28:46,307 --> 00:28:48,309 So stop being a disrespectful little jerk, okay? 561 00:28:48,392 --> 00:28:49,476 Sales? 562 00:28:49,560 --> 00:28:52,062 Yes, sales. You sell pizza. Last time I checked, that's called sales. 563 00:28:52,146 --> 00:28:53,147 You're such a loser. 564 00:28:53,231 --> 00:28:54,232 What did you just call him? 565 00:28:54,315 --> 00:28:55,983 A loser. What did you say? 566 00:28:56,067 --> 00:28:57,234 A loser. What? 567 00:28:57,318 --> 00:28:58,610 A loser. What was that word? 568 00:28:58,694 --> 00:29:00,570 Stop getting him to say it! 569 00:29:01,030 --> 00:29:02,906 You just made this worse, a whole lot worse. 570 00:29:02,990 --> 00:29:04,241 I can make him talk, Michael. 571 00:29:04,325 --> 00:29:05,326 - Michael! - Michael! 572 00:29:05,409 --> 00:29:06,868 We are accomplices. I'm not going to jail for this. 573 00:29:06,953 --> 00:29:08,537 Stop talking all at once! 574 00:29:08,621 --> 00:29:09,747 You need to let him go. 575 00:29:09,830 --> 00:29:13,166 Let go of little jerk-boy before he has learned his lesson? 576 00:29:13,251 --> 00:29:14,835 Yes. You know what, Jim? 577 00:29:14,919 --> 00:29:18,797 The world would be a better place if people were held accountable for their actions. 578 00:29:18,881 --> 00:29:20,632 Yes, but not by kidnapping them. 579 00:29:20,716 --> 00:29:22,092 I'm not kidnapping him. 580 00:29:22,176 --> 00:29:24,469 I'm keeping him until I get what I want. 581 00:29:24,553 --> 00:29:25,637 As a hostage. 582 00:29:25,721 --> 00:29:26,722 I think you're over-thinking it. 583 00:29:26,806 --> 00:29:27,807 I think you're under-thinking it. 584 00:29:27,890 --> 00:29:29,558 Yes. Is Alfredo there? 585 00:29:31,018 --> 00:29:32,936 May I speak to a manager, then? 586 00:29:33,646 --> 00:29:37,733 Okay, could you tell the manager that I am keeping his delivery kid 587 00:29:37,817 --> 00:29:40,569 until I get my discount on the eight pizzas I ordered? 588 00:29:41,237 --> 00:29:43,447 Yes, I know it is not on the coupon. 589 00:29:44,407 --> 00:29:48,907 Also, I would like him to throw in two, three pizzas, 590 00:29:51,372 --> 00:29:52,831 just for our... Ransom. 591 00:29:52,915 --> 00:29:53,999 ...trouble. 592 00:29:55,751 --> 00:29:57,669 Okay. All right. 593 00:29:59,171 --> 00:30:00,463 What did he say? 594 00:30:00,548 --> 00:30:01,590 He said no. 595 00:30:01,674 --> 00:30:02,841 So we should let him go. 596 00:30:02,925 --> 00:30:04,259 No. No. 597 00:30:04,343 --> 00:30:05,469 Okay. 598 00:30:05,553 --> 00:30:07,888 Listen up, kid, 599 00:30:08,597 --> 00:30:09,931 I don't like you, 600 00:30:10,016 --> 00:30:14,145 but because some town in Switzerland says so, you have rights. 601 00:30:19,233 --> 00:30:20,776 I have to hang these. 602 00:30:28,743 --> 00:30:30,411 Why are you looking at her like that? 603 00:30:30,494 --> 00:30:31,703 Hey! 604 00:30:42,631 --> 00:30:43,882 What's going on? 605 00:30:43,966 --> 00:30:46,009 Michael just called the pizza place with a list of demands. 606 00:30:46,093 --> 00:30:47,719 Mr. Overdramatic. What's up, Kevin? 607 00:30:47,803 --> 00:30:49,805 We're getting hungry out there. 608 00:30:50,890 --> 00:30:55,390 We're all accomplices now anyway, so we figured we might as well eat. 609 00:30:55,811 --> 00:31:00,311 We would like to order some good pizza from Alfredo's Pizza Cafe 610 00:31:01,275 --> 00:31:05,404 while we wait for the hostage situation with the bad pizza to end. 611 00:31:08,574 --> 00:31:11,994 I needed another hour. It could have been done in another hour. 612 00:31:12,078 --> 00:31:13,788 I think it looks good. 613 00:31:13,871 --> 00:31:15,831 That's why you're not in charge, Meredith. 614 00:31:20,961 --> 00:31:24,047 Here you are, my dear. One thing made of ice. 615 00:31:26,884 --> 00:31:28,302 How did you... 616 00:31:29,595 --> 00:31:31,013 Where'd you... 617 00:31:31,097 --> 00:31:33,849 It's just ice. It'll melt all over the floor. 618 00:31:33,933 --> 00:31:35,184 Will you help me put it over there? 619 00:31:35,267 --> 00:31:36,810 Yes, I will. Okay. 620 00:31:36,894 --> 00:31:38,061 Excuse me. 621 00:31:39,230 --> 00:31:40,314 I stole it. 622 00:31:44,610 --> 00:31:45,986 Thank God. 623 00:31:46,070 --> 00:31:49,990 Michael? Ryan wants to introduce the branch managers in a few minutes. 624 00:31:50,074 --> 00:31:52,117 You just have to wave and introduce yourself. 625 00:31:52,201 --> 00:31:54,494 I'll just wave and introduce myself. 626 00:31:54,578 --> 00:31:55,912 Hey, quick question. 627 00:31:55,996 --> 00:31:56,997 Yeah? 628 00:31:57,081 --> 00:31:58,999 If I take a pizza, 629 00:31:59,083 --> 00:32:02,836 do you think you could take some sodas and some napkins up to the roof? 630 00:32:02,920 --> 00:32:04,838 I'm all over it. Good. 631 00:32:05,714 --> 00:32:07,465 What do we got here? 632 00:32:07,550 --> 00:32:09,134 Good pizza. Yeah? 633 00:32:09,218 --> 00:32:11,220 Cheese? Or do we have other flavors? 634 00:32:11,303 --> 00:32:12,387 Different stuff. 635 00:32:12,471 --> 00:32:14,264 Which one is this? Perfect. 636 00:32:17,017 --> 00:32:19,769 Do you remember what you said to me on my first day at work, 637 00:32:19,854 --> 00:32:21,355 just before you walked me over to my desk? 638 00:32:21,439 --> 00:32:22,648 Yeah. 639 00:32:23,691 --> 00:32:26,860 "Enjoy this moment, because you're never going to go back to this time 640 00:32:26,944 --> 00:32:29,363 "before you met your desk-mate, Dwight." 641 00:32:29,738 --> 00:32:33,032 And that's why I knew. You? 642 00:32:33,117 --> 00:32:35,577 You came up to my desk and you said, 643 00:32:35,661 --> 00:32:40,161 "This might sound weird, and there's no reason for me to know this, 644 00:32:40,624 --> 00:32:43,668 "but that mixed-berry yogurt you're about to eat has expired." 645 00:32:43,752 --> 00:32:45,920 That was the moment that you knew you liked me? 646 00:32:46,005 --> 00:32:47,089 Yup. 647 00:32:47,173 --> 00:32:48,424 Wow. 648 00:32:50,468 --> 00:32:51,719 Can we make it a different moment? 649 00:32:51,802 --> 00:32:52,928 Nope. 650 00:32:54,847 --> 00:32:56,348 Can I start talking? 651 00:32:57,516 --> 00:33:01,394 Is this thing on? Give me a signal when you want me to start. 652 00:33:03,606 --> 00:33:08,106 And now from my old hometown, Scranton, Pennsylvania, my former boss, 653 00:33:08,360 --> 00:33:09,986 Michael Scott. 654 00:33:10,571 --> 00:33:11,989 Hey, I just think you should know 655 00:33:12,072 --> 00:33:15,033 that one of my salesmen beat your stupid computer. 656 00:33:15,117 --> 00:33:16,743 So take that,. 657 00:33:19,246 --> 00:33:20,830 Always a jokester. 658 00:33:23,417 --> 00:33:25,585 How about that image? Crystal clear. 659 00:33:27,046 --> 00:33:30,924 If anyone out there is listening, I am being held here against my will. 660 00:33:31,008 --> 00:33:32,217 I'm a minor. 661 00:33:36,222 --> 00:33:37,223 Ow! 662 00:33:37,306 --> 00:33:38,473 What are you doing? 663 00:33:38,557 --> 00:33:40,475 You said your upper back itched. 664 00:33:40,559 --> 00:33:42,102 I didn't ask you to scratch it. 665 00:33:42,186 --> 00:33:44,479 Look, Angela, I know this is weird because we work together, 666 00:33:44,563 --> 00:33:49,063 and because up until and possibly including now I've repulsed you, 667 00:33:49,276 --> 00:33:50,610 but I like you. 668 00:33:50,694 --> 00:33:52,404 I'm not dating you. 669 00:33:54,740 --> 00:33:57,617 So Angela is stubborn as a mule. 670 00:33:59,119 --> 00:34:03,248 She's giving off fairly strong vibes that she's not interested. 671 00:34:07,378 --> 00:34:09,088 But do I like her or not? 672 00:34:10,297 --> 00:34:14,551 Because if I like her, then I can't back down. 673 00:34:16,554 --> 00:34:19,765 If you're going number one, you've got 10 more seconds. 674 00:34:22,560 --> 00:34:23,852 Hey, have you seen Jim? 675 00:34:23,936 --> 00:34:27,356 I guess he wanted to get out of here before the cops find out. 676 00:34:30,568 --> 00:34:33,654 Hey, what are you doing? I'm just scaring him. 677 00:34:33,737 --> 00:34:36,322 Now the trick is to make him think you're going to do something to him. 678 00:34:36,407 --> 00:34:37,574 I can hear you, man. Shut up, 679 00:34:37,658 --> 00:34:38,950 or I'm going to punch you in the throat! 680 00:34:39,034 --> 00:34:40,577 Hey, hey, hey, stop it. Stop it. 681 00:34:40,661 --> 00:34:42,954 No. God. Oh, my God. 682 00:34:44,248 --> 00:34:47,876 Oh, my God. Oh, no. No. 683 00:34:49,378 --> 00:34:51,463 I kidnapped a kid. You had to. 684 00:34:51,547 --> 00:34:53,298 What other choice did you have? 685 00:34:53,382 --> 00:34:55,509 I could have paid for the pizza. 686 00:34:55,593 --> 00:34:58,053 Well, yeah. 687 00:35:00,306 --> 00:35:03,851 Oh, my God. Oh, my God. 688 00:35:06,604 --> 00:35:07,605 This is Michael. 689 00:35:07,688 --> 00:35:08,772 Hello, Michael. This is Ryan. 690 00:35:08,856 --> 00:35:10,399 First off, thanks for the shout out. 691 00:35:10,482 --> 00:35:12,108 You're breaking up. I can't hear you. 692 00:35:12,192 --> 00:35:14,277 And why is there a kid on your webcam 693 00:35:14,361 --> 00:35:16,613 saying that he's being held against his... 694 00:35:17,448 --> 00:35:18,824 Okay. 695 00:35:18,907 --> 00:35:22,160 I want you to go in there 696 00:35:22,244 --> 00:35:26,248 and pay him for the pizzas and give him a generous tip, 697 00:35:27,416 --> 00:35:28,583 no more than 10%. 698 00:35:28,667 --> 00:35:29,793 What will you do? 699 00:35:29,918 --> 00:35:32,587 I will open the door. 700 00:35:33,380 --> 00:35:34,547 Yeah. 701 00:35:34,632 --> 00:35:36,717 And hopefully he will walk out. 702 00:35:39,219 --> 00:35:41,346 And the rest is out of our hands. 703 00:35:42,723 --> 00:35:45,392 So I'm paying full price? 704 00:35:45,476 --> 00:35:46,560 Yes. 705 00:35:47,603 --> 00:35:50,981 Here we go, 65. You know what? 706 00:35:52,107 --> 00:35:53,483 Here's two more. 707 00:35:58,489 --> 00:36:00,407 See you. Drive safely. 708 00:36:02,951 --> 00:36:04,452 Okay. 709 00:36:05,204 --> 00:36:06,580 Now what? 710 00:36:06,664 --> 00:36:09,416 Now we wait and hope that nothing happens. 711 00:36:10,626 --> 00:36:13,295 All right. I assume I'm going to be reimbursed for the pizzas? 712 00:36:13,379 --> 00:36:15,589 Not now, Dwight. Please, not the time. 713 00:36:18,175 --> 00:36:20,135 A toast. 714 00:36:20,219 --> 00:36:21,970 I'm gonna make it good. 715 00:36:23,222 --> 00:36:25,307 To avoiding a class-two felony charge. 716 00:36:32,648 --> 00:36:35,233 Hello? Hey. Hang on a second. 717 00:36:41,907 --> 00:36:44,409 Hello. Hang on. 718 00:36:55,129 --> 00:36:58,090 If you change your mind 719 00:36:59,717 --> 00:37:01,468 I'll be first in line 720 00:37:01,552 --> 00:37:06,052 Honey, I'm still free Take a chance on me 721 00:37:06,223 --> 00:37:08,475 If you need me, let me know 722 00:37:08,559 --> 00:37:10,227 Going to be around 723 00:37:10,519 --> 00:37:13,021 If you got no place to go 724 00:37:13,105 --> 00:37:17,567 If you're feeling down, if you're all alone 725 00:37:17,651 --> 00:37:19,986 When the pretty birds have flown 726 00:37:20,070 --> 00:37:24,570 Honey, I'm still free Take a chance on me 727 00:37:24,825 --> 00:37:29,246 Going to do my very best And that ain't no lie 728 00:37:29,329 --> 00:37:33,791 If you put me to the test, if you let me try 729 00:37:33,876 --> 00:37:38,046 Take a chance on me 730 00:37:38,130 --> 00:37:40,132 That's all I ask of you, Angela. 731 00:37:40,799 --> 00:37:45,299 Take a chance, take a chance 732 00:37:47,806 --> 00:37:50,308 On 733 00:37:50,392 --> 00:37:54,892 Me 734 00:38:07,493 --> 00:38:09,411 - Hey, how'd it go? - Yeah. What did she say? 735 00:38:09,495 --> 00:38:11,121 I don't know yet. 736 00:38:11,205 --> 00:38:12,206 I have to call you back. 737 00:38:12,289 --> 00:38:13,290 Come on, you gotta give us something. 738 00:38:13,373 --> 00:38:14,791 I'll call you back. 739 00:38:17,044 --> 00:38:18,962 I have to go clean up after the party. 740 00:38:37,022 --> 00:38:39,024 What a horrible day. 741 00:38:43,654 --> 00:38:47,616 Well, I need to get the horrible taste of this pizza out of my mouth. 742 00:38:49,034 --> 00:38:50,827 I'd really like some sushi. 743 00:38:51,245 --> 00:38:54,456 I was hoping that I would have New York-style sushi today, 744 00:38:54,540 --> 00:38:56,625 and you know what? 745 00:38:56,708 --> 00:38:58,459 What? I'm gonna get it. 746 00:38:59,044 --> 00:39:01,087 Coopers has calamari. 747 00:39:01,171 --> 00:39:04,507 No. There's only one place to get authentic New York-style sushi. 748 00:39:04,591 --> 00:39:06,050 Tokyo? New York. 749 00:39:06,760 --> 00:39:08,636 Wanna go? Yes. 750 00:39:08,720 --> 00:39:09,721 All right. You drive. 751 00:39:09,805 --> 00:39:11,014 Okay. 752 00:39:11,098 --> 00:39:12,140 Nice. 753 00:39:12,224 --> 00:39:13,600 Here we go. 754 00:39:13,684 --> 00:39:15,143 Mmm. 755 00:39:15,227 --> 00:39:17,145 Perfect. I'm sorry. 756 00:39:17,229 --> 00:39:19,147 You guys are going to have to leave. 757 00:39:19,231 --> 00:39:21,274 Hey. You know what? 758 00:39:25,112 --> 00:39:26,404 Come on, come on, let's go. 759 00:39:34,872 --> 00:39:37,708 Hey, you're the Scranton guy? 760 00:39:37,791 --> 00:39:38,792 Guilty. 761 00:39:38,876 --> 00:39:41,128 I liked your statement tonight. 762 00:39:41,461 --> 00:39:42,879 Thanks. 763 00:39:43,589 --> 00:39:46,174 This is the guy that beat the computer. 764 00:39:46,258 --> 00:39:49,511 Very cool. Yeah, it was funny to see Ryan all embarrassed by that. 765 00:39:49,595 --> 00:39:51,513 Yeah. Yeah. 766 00:39:51,597 --> 00:39:52,889 See you later. 767 00:39:53,891 --> 00:39:54,975 Later on. 768 00:39:56,685 --> 00:40:01,185 I'm Ryan and tonight didn't go the way that I thought it would, 769 00:40:02,024 --> 00:40:06,524 because it didn't work out for me, and I'm very embarrassed. 770 00:40:06,737 --> 00:40:08,572 I have egg all over my face. 771 00:40:08,864 --> 00:40:10,115 I'm 12 years old. 772 00:40:10,198 --> 00:40:12,867 I spent so much time in Scranton, but I never sold any paper. 773 00:40:12,951 --> 00:40:15,912 I never sold any paper because I'm an idiot. 774 00:40:15,996 --> 00:40:18,665 I started a fire with my cheese pita. 775 00:40:18,749 --> 00:40:20,751 I dated an Indian girl. 776 00:40:20,834 --> 00:40:22,585 I started a fire. 777 00:40:22,669 --> 00:40:23,670 I started a fire. 778 00:40:23,754 --> 00:40:24,838 Now I've got a beard. 779 00:40:24,922 --> 00:40:26,381 And I got a new suit, and I'm your boss. 780 00:40:26,465 --> 00:40:28,049 I get everything I want 'cause I'm very... 781 00:40:28,133 --> 00:40:29,801 I'm hot. I'm so hot. 782 00:40:29,885 --> 00:40:31,094 That's why everybody... 783 00:40:31,178 --> 00:40:32,429 I didn't get... 784 00:40:32,512 --> 00:40:33,971 I don't understand that. 785 00:40:34,056 --> 00:40:36,224 That's part of it, just a... 786 00:40:52,908 --> 00:40:54,159 Wanna head back? 787 00:40:55,535 --> 00:40:57,328 Yeah, let's go.