1 00:00:02,150 --> 00:00:04,516 Dunder Mifflin. This is Rolando. 2 00:00:04,686 --> 00:00:07,484 Oh, yes. She's been expecting your call. 3 00:00:10,525 --> 00:00:11,924 Yeah? 4 00:00:11,993 --> 00:00:14,291 Karen? He's on line 1. 5 00:00:14,362 --> 00:00:16,262 Thanks, Ro. 6 00:00:17,599 --> 00:00:20,159 Hey. We finally connected. How's Scranton? 7 00:00:20,235 --> 00:00:23,170 I am the regional manager of Dunder Mifflin, Utica branch. 8 00:00:23,638 --> 00:00:26,368 Turns out it's a pretty easy gig when your boss isn't an idiot 9 00:00:26,441 --> 00:00:28,966 and your boyfriend's not in love with somebody else. 10 00:00:29,043 --> 00:00:31,841 Look, all I'm saying is it would be a great opportunity 11 00:00:31,913 --> 00:00:36,009 and we'd love to have you come aboard. So think about it, okay? 12 00:00:37,552 --> 00:00:39,486 Okay. Bye. 13 00:00:39,554 --> 00:00:44,116 Look, for the record, a certain Scranton salesman approached me, okay? 14 00:00:44,559 --> 00:00:45,583 This is perfect. 15 00:00:45,660 --> 00:00:46,718 He looks like your twin. 16 00:00:46,794 --> 00:00:50,059 This is a dummy, à la Ferris Bueller's Day Off. 17 00:00:50,131 --> 00:00:52,793 We have tied a string to the wrist, which goes to the door. 18 00:00:52,867 --> 00:00:55,233 When somebody opens the door, the hand goes down, 19 00:00:56,371 --> 00:00:59,772 Hits the remote, turns on the tape recorder, which is me snoring. 20 00:00:59,841 --> 00:01:03,607 Now, nobody knows whether I am here or whether I am gone. 21 00:01:03,678 --> 00:01:06,875 I'll know. But you will not tell anyone. 22 00:01:06,948 --> 00:01:09,041 I won't need to because we'll be together playing hooky. 23 00:01:09,117 --> 00:01:10,106 Well... Yeah! 24 00:01:10,185 --> 00:01:13,177 ...sometimes. Most of the time I will be with Ryan. Or Darryl. 25 00:01:13,254 --> 00:01:14,482 Yes. 26 00:01:14,622 --> 00:01:16,556 Oh, good, good. Stanley. First victim. 27 00:01:16,624 --> 00:01:18,023 This is what I want you to do. 28 00:01:18,092 --> 00:01:20,356 Go out, come back in. We're gonna hide. 29 00:01:20,428 --> 00:01:22,225 I want you to tell me if this looks like me, okay? 30 00:01:22,297 --> 00:01:24,026 I don't understand why sleeping at your desk 31 00:01:24,098 --> 00:01:25,224 is better than you not being here. 32 00:01:25,300 --> 00:01:27,234 Just go out and come back in. 33 00:01:27,435 --> 00:01:32,236 I got an offer from Utica for more money. And I'm going to take it. 34 00:01:32,407 --> 00:01:33,499 What? 35 00:02:08,509 --> 00:02:10,943 Hi, everyone, can I have your attention, please? 36 00:02:11,179 --> 00:02:16,549 I just thought you all should know that Stanley Hudson is planning on leaving us 37 00:02:16,618 --> 00:02:18,848 because our old friend, Karen from Utica, 38 00:02:18,920 --> 00:02:21,650 is going to give him more money to work there. 39 00:02:21,723 --> 00:02:24,521 Okay. No. No, no, no! 40 00:02:24,959 --> 00:02:27,393 No! You completely misinterpreted my tone! 41 00:02:28,096 --> 00:02:29,688 This is a horrible thing. 42 00:02:29,764 --> 00:02:34,667 Clearly, Karen is trying to get back at us because Jim dumped her. 43 00:02:34,736 --> 00:02:36,101 Oh, I don't think that's what's happening. 44 00:02:36,170 --> 00:02:38,695 Okay, well, smarty pants, then why? 45 00:02:38,773 --> 00:02:42,231 Why is she trying to take Stanley from us? 46 00:02:42,310 --> 00:02:44,073 I think it's because of my sales record. 47 00:02:44,145 --> 00:02:47,239 That could not possibly be it. 48 00:02:47,315 --> 00:02:51,274 You cannot take the hilarious black guy from the office. 49 00:02:51,819 --> 00:02:54,754 Stanley is part of what makes this branch so extraordinary. 50 00:02:54,822 --> 00:02:59,759 The bluesy wisdom, the sassy remarks, the crossword puzzles, 51 00:02:59,827 --> 00:03:03,319 the smile, those big, watery, red eyes. 52 00:03:03,398 --> 00:03:05,730 I don't know how George Bush did it when Colin Powell left. 53 00:03:05,900 --> 00:03:09,461 And if Utica thinks that they are going to poach Stanley, 54 00:03:09,537 --> 00:03:10,936 they have another thing coming. 55 00:03:17,445 --> 00:03:19,413 How can I get you to stay? Money. 56 00:03:19,480 --> 00:03:22,643 Yeah. We all want money. 57 00:03:23,318 --> 00:03:26,082 But there is none in the budget. So, 58 00:03:26,154 --> 00:03:27,553 tell me why you're really leaving. 59 00:03:27,622 --> 00:03:28,987 Money. 60 00:03:29,324 --> 00:03:31,155 Mo' money, mo' problems, Stanley. 61 00:03:31,225 --> 00:03:35,525 You of all people should know that. Let me ask you this, if I were... 62 00:03:35,596 --> 00:03:37,063 Money. Okay. 63 00:03:38,833 --> 00:03:41,028 Oscar, did you bring it? 64 00:03:43,638 --> 00:03:46,072 To be Edwardian. His best work. 65 00:03:46,374 --> 00:03:48,842 Okay. Well, I have the tablecloth. Don't forget the flatware. 66 00:03:48,910 --> 00:03:50,002 Sure thing, Pam. Can't wait. 67 00:03:50,311 --> 00:03:54,270 Oscar, Toby and I are founding members of the Finer Things Club. 68 00:03:54,515 --> 00:03:58,281 We meet once a month to discuss books and art, celebrate culture 69 00:03:58,353 --> 00:04:00,048 in a very civilized way. 70 00:04:00,555 --> 00:04:05,424 Sometimes the debate can get heated, but we're always respectful. 71 00:04:05,893 --> 00:04:09,590 There is no paper, no plastic and no work talk allowed. 72 00:04:11,666 --> 00:04:13,327 It's very exclusive. 73 00:04:13,568 --> 00:04:15,126 Besides having sex with men, 74 00:04:15,203 --> 00:04:18,764 I would say the Finer Things Club is the gayest thing about me. 75 00:04:20,808 --> 00:04:23,675 So tell me again why I can't be a part of your club? 76 00:04:23,745 --> 00:04:25,042 Because some people think that you 77 00:04:25,113 --> 00:04:28,310 monopolize the conversation by trying to be funny. 78 00:04:28,816 --> 00:04:31,011 Oscar? Some people. 79 00:04:31,085 --> 00:04:32,177 Hello? 80 00:04:32,253 --> 00:04:34,050 Filippellers! How are they hanging? 81 00:04:34,122 --> 00:04:36,181 Michael. Michael. To the left? To the right? 82 00:04:36,257 --> 00:04:39,158 Listen, I'm... Okay, enough small talk. Go ahead. 83 00:04:39,227 --> 00:04:40,251 You called me. 84 00:04:40,328 --> 00:04:42,159 Yes. Listen. 85 00:04:42,397 --> 00:04:43,421 Um... 86 00:04:43,498 --> 00:04:45,693 You cannot tear Stanley from his family like this. 87 00:04:45,767 --> 00:04:48,235 I'm pretty sure his family is coming with him. 88 00:04:48,302 --> 00:04:49,496 No, his work family. 89 00:04:49,570 --> 00:04:53,734 Look, this is very hard for me, but I am going to give you my best man. 90 00:04:53,808 --> 00:04:55,241 You may have Toby. 91 00:04:55,309 --> 00:04:56,970 Toby's not a salesperson. 92 00:04:57,044 --> 00:05:01,708 You can train him. He's very, very smart and funny and charming. 93 00:05:03,584 --> 00:05:07,145 You know, I can't do it. Toby is the worst. 94 00:05:07,221 --> 00:05:12,488 That was a bluff. Listen, if you are going to poach one of my guys, 95 00:05:12,560 --> 00:05:14,118 I am going to poach one of yours. 96 00:05:14,195 --> 00:05:16,356 Ooh. Goodbye, Michael. 97 00:05:16,431 --> 00:05:17,693 Okay. Goodbye. 98 00:05:17,765 --> 00:05:19,528 Wait! Wait! Karen! 99 00:05:19,600 --> 00:05:23,161 Could you transfer me to one of your salespeople, please? Your best one. 100 00:05:26,274 --> 00:05:29,937 I have Ben Nugent on the line. He is the top salesman in Utica. 101 00:05:30,011 --> 00:05:32,036 Hi, Ben. Michael Scott. Hi, Michael. 102 00:05:32,113 --> 00:05:34,411 I am going to cut right to the chase here. 103 00:05:34,482 --> 00:05:38,213 Do you like magic? Because I am a genie in a bottle 104 00:05:38,286 --> 00:05:40,754 and I am going to grant you three wishes, 105 00:05:40,822 --> 00:05:45,521 to move to Scranton, to have a great job and to be my best friend. 106 00:05:45,593 --> 00:05:47,959 Aren't you the guy that hit the woman with your car? 107 00:05:49,130 --> 00:05:50,893 Get out. 108 00:05:51,199 --> 00:05:56,967 Yeah. I also saved her life, but I guess that's not as grabby. 109 00:05:57,038 --> 00:06:00,098 Everyone says Scranton branch is worse than Camden. 110 00:06:00,174 --> 00:06:02,802 Didn't everyone from Stamford quit like immediately? 111 00:06:02,877 --> 00:06:05,277 No, I fired them and you're next. 112 00:06:08,749 --> 00:06:10,444 So, what do you say? 113 00:06:10,518 --> 00:06:11,746 Seriously? 114 00:06:11,819 --> 00:06:15,619 What is that guy talking about? Scranton is not lame. 115 00:06:15,690 --> 00:06:20,024 Scranton is the cool, fun branch. We're like Animal House. 116 00:06:21,696 --> 00:06:26,099 Found him! Jim! We're getting crapped on. 117 00:06:26,167 --> 00:06:29,136 Word is our branch sucks and we have to do something about it. 118 00:06:29,203 --> 00:06:31,034 So what are you going to do? What are we going to do? 119 00:06:31,105 --> 00:06:33,972 We are going to make a monster sale is what we're going to do. 120 00:06:34,041 --> 00:06:35,872 Corcoran dropped Staples. Did they? 121 00:06:35,943 --> 00:06:39,709 Yes, they did. Oh, yes they did and we are going to murder it. 122 00:06:39,780 --> 00:06:44,740 You, me, Dwight are going to jump in my PT Cruiser, we are going to crush this sale. 123 00:06:44,819 --> 00:06:48,255 We are going to prove... What the hell is that music? 124 00:06:48,322 --> 00:06:50,153 It's Vivaldi. For Finer Things. 125 00:06:50,224 --> 00:06:52,419 That's the problem. That's the problem. 126 00:06:52,493 --> 00:06:56,862 We need rock n' roll, Pam. Rock n' roll. All right? 127 00:06:56,931 --> 00:07:00,458 Oh, my God. 128 00:07:02,904 --> 00:07:05,134 That's why people are leaving. 129 00:07:06,040 --> 00:07:07,029 I... 130 00:07:08,209 --> 00:07:10,006 I have no words. 131 00:07:22,757 --> 00:07:24,452 We just passed the exit for Corcoran. 132 00:07:24,525 --> 00:07:27,016 What? What? We did? 133 00:07:27,094 --> 00:07:30,996 Surprise! Yeah! 134 00:07:31,065 --> 00:07:33,124 Look at his face! Look at his face! 135 00:07:33,200 --> 00:07:34,224 What are we doing? Egg dripping. 136 00:07:34,302 --> 00:07:35,326 So psyched. 137 00:07:35,403 --> 00:07:37,303 What are doing, Dwight? What are we doing? 138 00:07:37,371 --> 00:07:40,340 Oh, well, gee, Jim, I don't know. I guess there's no sales call today. 139 00:07:40,408 --> 00:07:44,742 We are going on a panty raid to Utica is what we're doing. 140 00:07:44,812 --> 00:07:46,609 We're going to Utica? Uh-huh! 141 00:07:47,949 --> 00:07:51,441 I'm not going to Utica right now. Yes, you are. Oh, buckle up, Jim. 142 00:07:51,519 --> 00:07:53,510 No. We are going to make Karen wish 143 00:07:53,588 --> 00:07:55,556 that she had never been dumped by you. 144 00:07:56,057 --> 00:08:00,494 Utica! Utica! Utica! Utica! Utica! Utica! 145 00:08:02,330 --> 00:08:03,319 Utica. Utica. 146 00:08:03,431 --> 00:08:05,262 In your face! Yow! 147 00:08:05,333 --> 00:08:09,793 I can't believe you guys. I'm not going to go further piss off my ex-girlfriend. 148 00:08:09,870 --> 00:08:11,565 Are you calling Karen? No, I'm not calling Karen. 149 00:08:11,639 --> 00:08:14,437 He's lying. Yeah. Get it. 150 00:08:14,508 --> 00:08:16,669 What are you doing? Stop it! Dwight! 151 00:08:18,412 --> 00:08:19,640 Are you kidding me? 152 00:08:19,714 --> 00:08:21,807 No communication with the outside world, Jim. 153 00:08:21,882 --> 00:08:24,407 Had to be done. It had to be done. 154 00:08:24,852 --> 00:08:26,376 Well, that kind of sucks 155 00:08:26,454 --> 00:08:29,617 because it had all the photos of my brother's new baby on it. 156 00:08:29,690 --> 00:08:31,555 So... 157 00:08:31,626 --> 00:08:35,289 Oh, that is too bad. Shoot. 158 00:08:44,839 --> 00:08:48,036 Okay. Hey, Dwight, he found it. 159 00:08:48,109 --> 00:08:49,974 You know what? I'm just going to call a cab from here. 160 00:08:50,044 --> 00:08:52,808 All right. You're going to miss the best prank ever. 161 00:08:53,014 --> 00:08:58,384 All right. Wait, what are you planning on doing? 162 00:09:00,421 --> 00:09:01,445 Do you really want to know? 163 00:09:01,522 --> 00:09:02,546 Oh, God. 164 00:09:02,623 --> 00:09:05,057 Follow me. Come here. Here's what we brought. 165 00:09:05,126 --> 00:09:07,390 We brought uniforms from the warehouse. 166 00:09:07,461 --> 00:09:08,985 I brought Silly String. 167 00:09:09,063 --> 00:09:11,998 Dwight brought gasoline and chunks of rubber to make stink bombs. 168 00:09:12,066 --> 00:09:14,694 Or real bombs. No, no. Not real bombs. 169 00:09:14,769 --> 00:09:16,634 Yeah, come on. It will be so bad ass. 170 00:09:16,704 --> 00:09:19,502 Oh, maybe. I don't know. I don't know. 171 00:09:19,573 --> 00:09:21,871 It could be bad ass. It will. No. No. 172 00:09:21,942 --> 00:09:24,206 Yeah, it will. No, absolutely we're not doing this. 173 00:09:24,278 --> 00:09:27,714 Come on. I already filled the bottles with the gas. It's going to be so bad ass. 174 00:09:27,782 --> 00:09:31,183 Are you kidding me? We've been driving around with this in the trunk the whole time? 175 00:09:31,252 --> 00:09:33,880 Teach her to offer Stanley more money. 176 00:09:35,489 --> 00:09:41,052 So, the deal was Dwight doesn't blow anything up and I wear a costume. 177 00:09:43,464 --> 00:09:44,829 And a mustache. 178 00:09:47,501 --> 00:09:50,368 So, why did you and Karen break up? 179 00:09:50,438 --> 00:09:52,167 Was it the sex? What? 180 00:09:52,239 --> 00:09:53,501 I can't imagine the sex being bad. 181 00:09:53,574 --> 00:09:55,166 I mean, her body is awesome. Okay, you know what? 182 00:09:55,242 --> 00:09:58,040 Why don't we play that alphabet game that you were talking about? 183 00:09:58,112 --> 00:10:01,912 Okay, I will start. A. 184 00:10:01,982 --> 00:10:05,315 A, my name is Alan and my wife's name is Alice 185 00:10:05,386 --> 00:10:09,482 We live in Alaska and we sell... 186 00:10:09,557 --> 00:10:12,219 Damn it. What can we sell? 187 00:10:12,359 --> 00:10:14,452 Doesn't matter. I'm trying to think of what we can sell. 188 00:10:14,528 --> 00:10:16,462 It doesn't matter. 189 00:10:16,530 --> 00:10:22,435 What is that? That sound. The air conditioning leaking or something? 190 00:10:22,503 --> 00:10:24,835 That doesn't make sense. Couldn't be. 191 00:10:24,905 --> 00:10:26,372 What is that? 192 00:10:28,709 --> 00:10:31,177 Dwight, are you peeing? 193 00:10:31,245 --> 00:10:32,803 I'm peeing in this empty can. Oh, my God! 194 00:10:32,880 --> 00:10:34,905 Oh, come on, man. That is disgusting, Dwight! 195 00:10:34,982 --> 00:10:37,212 You said we couldn't make any more stops. I really had to go. 196 00:10:37,284 --> 00:10:38,478 Michael, watch the road! Oh, God! 197 00:10:38,552 --> 00:10:40,179 Hey, you're making me spray! Oh, my God! 198 00:10:40,254 --> 00:10:43,280 I'm going to kill you, man! Michael, Michael, pull over! 199 00:10:43,357 --> 00:10:44,790 That is just so disgusting! Pull over. 200 00:10:44,859 --> 00:10:46,588 I think I cut my penis on the lid. 201 00:10:47,261 --> 00:10:51,459 Can you imagine a life where all you have to do is summer in the Italian countryside? 202 00:10:51,532 --> 00:10:56,629 I know, right? I just want to go and look at art and swim in the Adriatic. 203 00:10:56,871 --> 00:11:00,568 And spend time with George Emerson. That's what I would do. 204 00:11:00,775 --> 00:11:02,766 I mean, he's the best male protagonist we've read, right? 205 00:11:02,843 --> 00:11:07,041 Totally. I mean, come on. Such a free spirit. What are you doing? 206 00:11:07,114 --> 00:11:10,675 Just came to discuss my favorite E.M. Forster novel. 207 00:11:11,552 --> 00:11:16,319 Pam, these finger sandwiches look finger-licking delicious, Pam. 208 00:11:16,390 --> 00:11:19,291 I'm sorry, Andy, but this is a closed club. 209 00:11:23,063 --> 00:11:27,500 The Finer Things Club is the most exclusive club in this office. 210 00:11:27,568 --> 00:11:29,866 Naturally, it's where I need to be. 211 00:11:29,937 --> 00:11:34,237 The Party Planning Committee is my backup and Kevin's band is my safety. 212 00:11:34,308 --> 00:11:35,400 Fine. 213 00:11:37,378 --> 00:11:40,438 I'll just... 214 00:11:40,514 --> 00:11:45,952 Sit here in the common area and read my book, 215 00:11:46,020 --> 00:11:48,352 which just happens to be the very same book you're reading. 216 00:11:48,422 --> 00:11:51,323 All right, just know you're not in the Finer Things Club. 217 00:11:51,392 --> 00:11:53,485 Why can't I be in the club? 218 00:11:54,695 --> 00:11:57,664 I can't believe we're here. I can't believe this is happening. 219 00:11:57,765 --> 00:11:59,130 Believe it. 220 00:11:59,200 --> 00:12:00,565 Afro wig? Do you want the afro wig? 221 00:12:00,634 --> 00:12:02,568 No. Michael, I'm not leaving the car. 222 00:12:02,636 --> 00:12:04,695 Oh, God. All right, Dwight? Yeah. 223 00:12:04,772 --> 00:12:06,535 Here's how it's going to go down. You and I... 224 00:12:07,341 --> 00:12:08,865 Guy's going by. Shh. 225 00:12:09,443 --> 00:12:12,537 You and I are going to sneak inside, pretend that we are warehouse workers. 226 00:12:12,613 --> 00:12:15,138 Then we will Silly String the bejesus out of the place. 227 00:12:15,216 --> 00:12:18,811 And if we have to defend ourselves, I will stab the security guard in the eye 228 00:12:18,886 --> 00:12:22,185 with a jumbo chalk. No. No, you won't do that. Nope. 229 00:12:22,323 --> 00:12:24,655 Then I'll grind up the jumbo chalk and blow it in his eyes. 230 00:12:24,725 --> 00:12:27,353 Dwight, nothing with the eyes. Please? 231 00:12:28,996 --> 00:12:30,327 Okay, Jim. 232 00:12:31,265 --> 00:12:34,200 Oh, my God, that's her. That's her. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. 233 00:12:34,268 --> 00:12:36,736 Move. Move. Move. Move. Move. MICHAEL: Shut up. 234 00:12:36,804 --> 00:12:38,431 This is the dumbest thing we've ever done. 235 00:12:48,515 --> 00:12:50,847 I think it's interesting how Forster uses Italy 236 00:12:50,918 --> 00:12:54,115 to represent sexuality and passion 237 00:12:54,188 --> 00:12:58,750 and that also brought up themes of, you know, fate and coincidence 238 00:12:58,826 --> 00:13:01,226 and Lucy's torn between these two things. 239 00:13:01,295 --> 00:13:03,456 She's torn between passion and convention. 240 00:13:03,530 --> 00:13:04,895 Damn it. 241 00:13:05,933 --> 00:13:07,298 It just... 242 00:13:11,205 --> 00:13:12,934 To be making the case for passion 243 00:13:13,007 --> 00:13:15,032 in Edwardian times I thought was... 244 00:13:15,109 --> 00:13:16,804 Yes! Got it. 245 00:13:19,747 --> 00:13:20,736 Damn it. 246 00:13:22,549 --> 00:13:27,418 Made him sort of ahead of his time as a writer. Very brave choice, I thought, also. 247 00:13:27,788 --> 00:13:32,282 And George's youthfulness, his freedom 248 00:13:33,427 --> 00:13:37,227 Evokes feelings... 249 00:13:41,135 --> 00:13:42,625 What are you microwaving? 250 00:13:42,703 --> 00:13:43,965 Popcorn. 251 00:13:44,038 --> 00:13:46,472 Why don't you use the microwave in the kitchen, Phyllis? 252 00:13:46,540 --> 00:13:49,737 Someone needs to clean it. It smells like popcorn. 253 00:13:56,617 --> 00:13:58,847 So, Stanley, are you really out of here? 254 00:13:58,919 --> 00:14:00,750 Yeah. Looks that way. 255 00:14:02,456 --> 00:14:04,924 I'm going to miss you, man. 256 00:14:04,992 --> 00:14:10,294 You've been like an uncle to me. Like a kind old Uncle Remus. 257 00:14:11,598 --> 00:14:13,327 I want to stay in touch. 258 00:14:18,272 --> 00:14:19,671 We are in the stairwell. 259 00:14:19,740 --> 00:14:21,640 We're climbing some stairs. 260 00:14:24,211 --> 00:14:25,838 I am breathing heavily. Okay, you know what? 261 00:14:25,913 --> 00:14:28,814 You really don't need to be updating me as much as you're updating me. 262 00:14:28,882 --> 00:14:32,045 - There's a guy. There's a guy. - There's a security guard coming by. 263 00:14:32,186 --> 00:14:35,815 Hello. We're warehouse workers. Would you like more proof? 264 00:14:36,724 --> 00:14:37,748 Okay. 265 00:14:37,825 --> 00:14:39,816 Oh, my God. That was very close. 266 00:14:39,893 --> 00:14:41,417 I can see the security guard's eyes. 267 00:14:41,495 --> 00:14:43,759 No. No. Don't do anything to them. 268 00:14:43,831 --> 00:14:45,890 I have to do something to his eyes. 269 00:14:45,966 --> 00:14:48,764 The eyes are the groin of the head. 270 00:14:49,570 --> 00:14:53,404 All right, Great Scott, if you found that choking hazard poster, just head on home. 271 00:14:53,474 --> 00:14:58,036 We've got something far better, their crown jewel. Their industrial copier. 272 00:14:58,712 --> 00:15:00,179 Isn't that thing huge? 273 00:15:00,247 --> 00:15:05,549 It's enormous, but it's got wheels. We're wheeling it down the hall into the stairwell. 274 00:15:06,053 --> 00:15:08,681 Get the car ready, keep the engine running. 275 00:15:08,756 --> 00:15:11,520 No. That is a terrible idea. Don't do this. 276 00:15:13,761 --> 00:15:14,819 My hip bone! 277 00:15:14,895 --> 00:15:19,855 We're wedged between the copier and the railing! I'm stuck. Oh, my left hip! 278 00:15:19,933 --> 00:15:22,128 Leave us, Jim! Leave us. Save yourself. Help us. No! 279 00:15:22,202 --> 00:15:24,466 Don't leave us. Help us. We need help, Jim! 280 00:15:24,538 --> 00:15:27,735 Okay, first of all, stop using my name. And second of all... 281 00:15:27,808 --> 00:15:28,968 You got to move out! 282 00:15:29,043 --> 00:15:31,637 Damn it, guys. Would you just move over a little bit? 283 00:15:31,712 --> 00:15:33,145 I'm losing control of my bladder! 284 00:15:33,213 --> 00:15:35,909 Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Karen's back. 285 00:15:35,983 --> 00:15:39,475 Is that Karen? MICHAEL: Take her to a motel. Make love to her, Jim. 286 00:15:39,553 --> 00:15:41,350 No. I'm not doing that. 287 00:15:41,422 --> 00:15:43,049 Just say you want to get back together. 288 00:15:43,123 --> 00:15:44,556 No. I'm not doing that. 289 00:15:44,625 --> 00:15:48,186 It doesn't have to mean anything. Just do it for Stanley. 290 00:15:48,829 --> 00:15:52,560 Come on, Jim. Just climb on top of her and think about Stanley. Oh, God. 291 00:15:53,801 --> 00:15:56,827 Jim, if this is it for me, promise me something. 292 00:15:58,105 --> 00:16:00,869 Jim? Host the Dundies. 293 00:16:03,277 --> 00:16:04,642 Hey, Karen. 294 00:16:06,980 --> 00:16:08,311 What are you doing here? 295 00:16:08,382 --> 00:16:10,247 First of all, hi. 296 00:16:10,684 --> 00:16:11,878 What are you doing here? 297 00:16:11,952 --> 00:16:13,180 You good? 298 00:16:14,888 --> 00:16:16,788 I'm just checking on the other branches. 299 00:16:16,857 --> 00:16:19,553 Michael wants me to do that from time to time. So... 300 00:16:19,626 --> 00:16:22,925 Do not tell Karen about the industrial copier. 301 00:16:22,996 --> 00:16:25,123 Copy that. 302 00:16:25,532 --> 00:16:30,299 I cried for weeks over that guy, so yeah, seeing him climb out of a PT Cruiser 303 00:16:30,370 --> 00:16:33,703 in a ladies' warehouse uniform felt pretty good. 304 00:16:35,175 --> 00:16:38,440 Let me ask you, did you accomplish what you wanted? 305 00:16:38,612 --> 00:16:42,275 Listen, lady, you can expect these kind of repercussions 306 00:16:42,349 --> 00:16:44,647 as long as you keep trying to poach our people. 307 00:16:44,718 --> 00:16:46,310 I'm taking Stanley. 308 00:16:46,386 --> 00:16:49,287 Then we will burn Utica to the ground. 309 00:16:49,356 --> 00:16:50,345 Dwight. 310 00:16:53,026 --> 00:16:56,689 Granted, maybe this was not the best idea, 311 00:16:56,763 --> 00:17:00,494 but at least we care enough about our employees 312 00:17:00,567 --> 00:17:03,229 that we are willing to fight for them. 313 00:17:04,238 --> 00:17:07,537 And if you so much as harm a hair on Stanley's head, 314 00:17:09,476 --> 00:17:11,876 we will burn Utica to the ground. 315 00:17:19,820 --> 00:17:21,720 Jim, hang on a second? Yes. 316 00:17:24,825 --> 00:17:28,283 So you're still doing this kind of stuff, huh? 317 00:17:28,362 --> 00:17:30,626 Yeah. Trying to quit, though. 318 00:17:31,498 --> 00:17:34,524 If you wanted to see me, you could have just called me like an adult. 319 00:17:34,601 --> 00:17:37,161 Oh, no, I didn't want to see you. 320 00:17:37,237 --> 00:17:40,434 Not that I'm not happy to be seeing you right now. 321 00:17:40,607 --> 00:17:43,906 I'm just saying ultimately I was here for the copier. Equal. 322 00:17:43,977 --> 00:17:46,810 I'd say it was equal. So, good to see you. 323 00:17:49,983 --> 00:17:52,281 I mean, it's just that, you know, 324 00:17:52,352 --> 00:17:56,288 Pam and I are still dating so... And I just mean that 325 00:17:57,191 --> 00:18:00,991 things are going really well so I didn't want to see you. 326 00:18:01,461 --> 00:18:07,525 Oh, things are going really well? Are they? They are? That's great. That's so great. 327 00:18:07,601 --> 00:18:10,126 I want to hear more about how happy you are with Pam. 328 00:18:10,204 --> 00:18:13,867 Can you tell me more about that? Thank you so much for coming to Utica 329 00:18:13,941 --> 00:18:17,934 and breaking my copier and telling me how well things are going in your relationship. 330 00:18:18,011 --> 00:18:19,239 Really. Thank you. 331 00:18:19,313 --> 00:18:25,912 All right. You are welcome. I am going to go because of traffic. 332 00:18:25,986 --> 00:18:27,977 Traffic. Yeah. Oh, definitely. So... 333 00:18:28,055 --> 00:18:31,582 Go... Go because of traffic. Definitely. Beat the traffic. 334 00:18:32,626 --> 00:18:34,150 I will. 335 00:18:40,467 --> 00:18:43,163 We tried and we failed. 336 00:18:45,672 --> 00:18:49,768 Stanley, you may go. 337 00:18:51,311 --> 00:18:56,806 Here is a box for your things. 338 00:18:59,253 --> 00:19:03,690 But I doubt that that box will be able to contain all the memories that 339 00:19:03,757 --> 00:19:05,657 you have of this place. 340 00:19:07,728 --> 00:19:11,357 Fly away, sweet little bird. Fly away and be free. 341 00:19:13,200 --> 00:19:14,189 Pam. 342 00:19:15,469 --> 00:19:18,563 I'm going to need some help writing a want ad. 343 00:19:22,009 --> 00:19:27,037 Wanted. Middle-aged black man with sass. 344 00:19:27,114 --> 00:19:30,242 Big butt. Bigger heart. 345 00:19:30,617 --> 00:19:33,051 I can't do this. 346 00:19:33,120 --> 00:19:36,055 Michael, a word? 347 00:19:37,090 --> 00:19:38,421 Of course. 348 00:19:41,161 --> 00:19:44,358 I changed my mind. I want to keep this job. 349 00:19:45,399 --> 00:19:46,696 Really? 350 00:19:46,767 --> 00:19:50,828 I wasn't really planning on leaving. All I wanted was a raise. 351 00:19:50,904 --> 00:19:56,570 How on Earth did Michael call my bluff? Is he some sort of secret genius? 352 00:19:58,612 --> 00:20:00,807 Sometimes I say crazy things. 353 00:20:05,652 --> 00:20:06,744 Hey. 354 00:20:06,820 --> 00:20:09,721 I'm so sorry. Rolando told me everything. 355 00:20:11,525 --> 00:20:13,117 How humiliating. 356 00:20:14,561 --> 00:20:17,553 Would it help you to return to another age, 357 00:20:17,631 --> 00:20:21,965 a time of refinement and civility? 358 00:20:23,103 --> 00:20:26,368 Are you inviting me to the Finer Things Club? 359 00:20:26,440 --> 00:20:28,305 Oh, oh, come on! 360 00:20:31,311 --> 00:20:33,643 Angela's Ashes. Top of the morning to it. 361 00:20:33,714 --> 00:20:36,649 Frankie's prose is finer than a pot of gold, say I. 362 00:20:37,684 --> 00:20:41,518 Okay. Did you get it out of your system? 363 00:20:41,588 --> 00:20:46,025 Yup. No, I mean I really liked it. I thought it was a fun read. 364 00:20:46,360 --> 00:20:47,384 Fun? Mmm-hmm. 365 00:20:47,461 --> 00:20:48,758 Really? Yeah. 366 00:20:48,829 --> 00:20:52,629 What was fun about it for you? Was it the death of the twins? 367 00:20:55,001 --> 00:20:57,026 No, that wasn't fun. 368 00:20:57,537 --> 00:20:58,834 Did you even read it? 369 00:20:58,905 --> 00:21:00,270 Of course I read it. 370 00:21:00,340 --> 00:21:01,534 How does it end? 371 00:21:01,608 --> 00:21:03,337 Who was the main character? 372 00:21:04,644 --> 00:21:08,671 Angela. Nope. The ashes.