1 00:00:04,219 --> 00:00:05,379 (PAM LAUGHS) 2 00:00:07,589 --> 00:00:08,920 What's wrong, Michael? 3 00:00:08,990 --> 00:00:10,651 I got gum in my hair. 4 00:00:10,725 --> 00:00:11,749 You do. 5 00:00:11,826 --> 00:00:14,124 This just stinks. 6 00:00:14,195 --> 00:00:15,753 Don't touch it. Please, don't touch it! 7 00:00:15,830 --> 00:00:16,854 You've got a ton of dandruff. 8 00:00:16,931 --> 00:00:17,989 Okay, let me be. 9 00:00:18,066 --> 00:00:19,124 How'd you get gum in your hair? 10 00:00:19,200 --> 00:00:21,760 I was walking in and I noticed something shiny under Stanley's car, 11 00:00:21,836 --> 00:00:26,102 and I'd gotten under to see what it was, and I messed up my hair. 12 00:00:26,174 --> 00:00:28,233 All for a stupid piece of tin foil. 13 00:00:28,309 --> 00:00:30,607 But, best-case scenario, you thought it was a quarter. 14 00:00:30,678 --> 00:00:32,145 Kill me, right now. 15 00:00:32,213 --> 00:00:34,408 We have peanut butter in the kitchen. 16 00:00:34,582 --> 00:00:37,244 I don't feel like peanut butter. Get me an ice cream sandwich. 17 00:00:37,318 --> 00:00:40,719 Nope, not for you, it's for your hair. And it is 9:00 a.m. 18 00:00:41,623 --> 00:00:44,319 No, Dwight, not the good peanut butter. People are gonna get mad. 19 00:00:44,392 --> 00:00:47,088 Hey, hey, hey. This is my hair we're talking about. 20 00:00:49,597 --> 00:00:51,030 Smells good. 21 00:00:52,300 --> 00:00:53,324 Tastes good, too. 22 00:00:53,401 --> 00:00:55,301 Oh, don't, that's disgusting. 23 00:00:55,670 --> 00:00:57,069 Wow, a lot of calories. 24 00:00:57,138 --> 00:00:59,402 Well, just don't leave it on too long. 25 00:00:59,874 --> 00:01:01,808 Keep massaging, please. 26 00:01:02,610 --> 00:01:04,339 Oh, yeah, that's nice. 27 00:01:40,415 --> 00:01:42,747 Hey, Michael, how was your date last night? 28 00:01:42,817 --> 00:01:44,011 (SIGHS) 29 00:01:44,319 --> 00:01:47,220 I will be honest. The dating has not been going well. 30 00:01:47,589 --> 00:01:50,888 Look, men are visual creatures. 31 00:01:51,526 --> 00:01:57,761 We crave beauty. Like a piece of fine art by 32 00:01:59,434 --> 00:02:02,028 any number of renowned artists. 33 00:02:02,103 --> 00:02:07,769 Or an arty photograph of Cindy Crawford nude. 34 00:02:08,076 --> 00:02:11,273 That, but the women I'm getting fixed up with are... 35 00:02:12,580 --> 00:02:17,483 Not that they aren't nice or have great personalities, 36 00:02:17,552 --> 00:02:21,613 they just, they just lack a certain Crawfordness. 37 00:02:22,523 --> 00:02:25,356 I am livid. Absolutely livid. 38 00:02:25,426 --> 00:02:26,518 It's ridiculous. 39 00:02:26,594 --> 00:02:29,222 Yes, I'm having the Scranton branch come in on one Saturday, 40 00:02:29,297 --> 00:02:31,731 so they can re-enter sales that they made on the phone 41 00:02:31,799 --> 00:02:34,996 as sales made by the website, which they should've done in the first place, 44 00:02:39,874 --> 00:02:42,809 My favorite branch. How's everybody doing? 45 00:02:43,745 --> 00:02:45,178 Hey, man, do you mind if I run something by you? 46 00:02:45,246 --> 00:02:47,214 Love it! Go. 47 00:02:47,315 --> 00:02:51,376 Well, I kind of feel like what we have going for us is our customer service. 48 00:02:51,619 --> 00:02:53,780 And no matter how much we change this up, 49 00:02:53,855 --> 00:02:56,483 I don't know that a website's gonna be able to replace that. 50 00:02:56,557 --> 00:02:58,718 I can tell you've thought about this a lot. I appreciate that. 51 00:02:58,793 --> 00:02:59,782 Thanks. 52 00:02:59,861 --> 00:03:00,919 David Wallace does, too. 53 00:03:00,995 --> 00:03:04,158 You told him all about this at the Christmas party, right? 54 00:03:05,967 --> 00:03:06,991 Did I? 55 00:03:07,068 --> 00:03:08,228 You did, yeah. 56 00:03:08,303 --> 00:03:09,292 Hmm. 57 00:03:10,672 --> 00:03:12,196 Watch your back, Jim. 58 00:03:13,274 --> 00:03:14,639 I'm just kidding. 59 00:03:18,346 --> 00:03:20,940 Ladies and gentlemen, may I have your attention, please? 60 00:03:21,015 --> 00:03:23,210 I know that a lot of you are very angry with Ryan, 61 00:03:23,284 --> 00:03:25,343 because he is the reason we all have to come in tomorrow. 62 00:03:25,420 --> 00:03:30,448 However, I swear to God, if any of you hurts him in any way 63 00:03:30,558 --> 00:03:32,685 emotionally, or taunts him, 64 00:03:32,760 --> 00:03:36,321 or makes fun of his height or his half-beard... 65 00:03:36,397 --> 00:03:38,661 Okay. Thanks, Michael. He... Yeah. 66 00:03:38,733 --> 00:03:39,927 I'm here today 67 00:03:40,001 --> 00:03:42,970 to do some creative problem solving about Dunder Mifflin Infinity 68 00:03:43,037 --> 00:03:44,971 and field your questions. Question. 69 00:03:45,039 --> 00:03:46,028 Dwight. 70 00:03:46,107 --> 00:03:47,131 Why am I being forced to come in tomorrow 71 00:03:47,208 --> 00:03:49,335 and pretend that a website made sales that I made? 72 00:03:49,410 --> 00:03:52,607 This is a temporary measure to increase the legitimacy of the site. 73 00:03:52,680 --> 00:03:55,342 I don't like when my clients call me to help them use the website. 74 00:03:55,416 --> 00:03:57,043 I'm not seeing commissions on that. 75 00:03:57,118 --> 00:03:59,643 I hear you, Stanley. That is a great observation. 76 00:03:59,721 --> 00:04:04,351 Problems like that will not happen when we launch Dunder Mifflin Infinity 2.0. 77 00:04:04,559 --> 00:04:06,288 When will that be? TBD. 78 00:04:06,361 --> 00:04:07,385 Phyllis. 79 00:04:07,462 --> 00:04:08,486 Did the police solve the problem with... 80 00:04:08,563 --> 00:04:10,895 Yes, yes, they did. Yes, they did. 81 00:04:10,965 --> 00:04:15,129 Yes, the social networking feature of the Dunder Mifflin Infinity website 82 00:04:15,203 --> 00:04:17,728 was infiltrated by sexual predators. 83 00:04:17,805 --> 00:04:20,740 I don't understand why our website needs to have social networking at all. 84 00:04:20,808 --> 00:04:22,708 Yeah, actually I have to agree with Dwight on that one. 85 00:04:22,777 --> 00:04:26,269 It's all about creating a one-stop consumer experience. 86 00:04:26,381 --> 00:04:28,281 All right? You're chatting with your friends, 87 00:04:28,349 --> 00:04:30,146 you're talking about the latest music. 88 00:04:30,218 --> 00:04:31,276 About the election. 89 00:04:31,352 --> 00:04:35,550 All of it is happening in our virtual paper store. 90 00:04:35,623 --> 00:04:38,183 And then an older gentleman asks you, "Boxers or briefs?" 91 00:04:38,259 --> 00:04:40,659 I don't get the big fuss, here. I like the site. 92 00:04:40,728 --> 00:04:44,129 If I had created a website with this many problems, I'd kill myself. 93 00:04:44,198 --> 00:04:45,290 Do you have a question, Kelly? 94 00:04:45,366 --> 00:04:46,458 Yeah, I have a lot of questions. 95 00:04:46,534 --> 00:04:48,229 Number one. How dare you? 96 00:04:51,706 --> 00:04:57,338 Ryan has done a very good job, and I am not applauding sarcastically. 97 00:04:57,412 --> 00:04:59,107 Think about it. A month ago, 98 00:04:59,180 --> 00:05:01,375 nobody would go on this site, because we were worried 99 00:05:01,449 --> 00:05:05,852 about getting molested or losing our identity, having it stolen. 100 00:05:05,920 --> 00:05:12,484 But now, at a time TDB, all of these problems will be in the past. 101 00:05:12,560 --> 00:05:15,028 You done good, kid. You done good. 102 00:05:19,734 --> 00:05:21,929 Well, it has been nice seeing you again, my friend. 103 00:05:22,003 --> 00:05:23,027 You, too. 104 00:05:24,972 --> 00:05:27,338 Oh, Ryan, I need a girlfriend so bad. 105 00:05:27,408 --> 00:05:28,932 Michael, let me go. 106 00:05:29,010 --> 00:05:30,170 Let me go, Michael. 107 00:05:30,244 --> 00:05:31,336 All right. 108 00:05:32,180 --> 00:05:35,081 Do you know any girls in New York you might want to hook me up with, 109 00:05:35,149 --> 00:05:38,050 that might be interested in a guy like me? 110 00:05:38,586 --> 00:05:39,848 Nah. Nah. 111 00:05:39,921 --> 00:05:41,513 Sorry, man. Well, you tried. 112 00:05:41,589 --> 00:05:43,056 But, seriously... 113 00:05:43,124 --> 00:05:45,820 You should see the girls I meet at clubs in the city. 114 00:05:45,893 --> 00:05:46,985 Unreal. 115 00:05:47,061 --> 00:05:48,426 They sound great. 116 00:05:48,930 --> 00:05:53,026 Bye, everyone! Stay real, Scranton, all right? Peace! 117 00:05:55,703 --> 00:05:57,068 Would you have sex with Meredith? 118 00:05:57,138 --> 00:05:58,162 What? 119 00:05:58,239 --> 00:05:59,399 Do you think she'd keep it quiet? 120 00:05:59,474 --> 00:06:00,998 I'm gonna go to my desk. 121 00:06:01,075 --> 00:06:04,909 Jim, it's not the horniness, okay? It's the loneliness. That's... 122 00:06:05,279 --> 00:06:06,303 I know. 123 00:06:06,647 --> 00:06:08,842 Let's go to New York. We'll go clubbing with Ryan. 124 00:06:08,916 --> 00:06:10,213 I can't. Yes, you can. 125 00:06:10,284 --> 00:06:12,047 You're single, I'm single. It'll be awesome. 126 00:06:12,119 --> 00:06:13,177 I'm not single. 127 00:06:13,254 --> 00:06:14,721 Who are you dating? 128 00:06:15,356 --> 00:06:16,380 Pam. 129 00:06:16,457 --> 00:06:18,015 That's still going on? 130 00:06:18,092 --> 00:06:19,081 (MICHAEL SIGHS) 131 00:06:21,062 --> 00:06:23,155 Okay, Dwight, grab your stuff. 132 00:06:23,231 --> 00:06:25,791 We're going to New York to party with Ryan and to meet girls. 133 00:06:25,867 --> 00:06:26,993 Yeah! ANDY: Oh, yes. 134 00:06:27,068 --> 00:06:31,232 Count me in, dudes. I am in serious need of some bro time. 135 00:06:32,206 --> 00:06:35,334 Old ball and chain's been a lot more chain than ball lately, 136 00:06:35,409 --> 00:06:37,104 if you know what I'm saying. I'm right here. 137 00:06:37,178 --> 00:06:40,670 No, singles only. Singles only. Also, three is unlucky. 138 00:06:41,983 --> 00:06:43,348 Curse of three. Sorry, Andy. 139 00:06:43,417 --> 00:06:45,681 Cannot take any chances on curses. Not tonight. 140 00:06:45,753 --> 00:06:48,449 Let's go. Everybody, I will see you tomorrow, Saturday morning, 141 00:06:48,523 --> 00:06:51,822 probably wearing the same clothes that I'm wearing right now, 142 00:06:52,126 --> 00:06:54,117 if you catch my drift. 143 00:06:54,262 --> 00:06:55,320 PAM: We get it. 144 00:06:55,396 --> 00:06:56,886 I am going 145 00:06:57,565 --> 00:06:58,623 to go get laid. 146 00:06:58,699 --> 00:06:59,723 Goodbye! 147 00:06:59,800 --> 00:07:01,324 (LAUGHING) With sex! 148 00:07:04,739 --> 00:07:06,730 You know what? If we all stayed a couple hours late tonight 149 00:07:06,807 --> 00:07:10,004 without Michael distracting us, we wouldn't have to come in at all tomorrow. 150 00:07:11,846 --> 00:07:15,247 So I caught everyone before they left, and I told them my idea. 151 00:07:15,516 --> 00:07:16,676 And they loved it. 152 00:07:16,751 --> 00:07:19,515 Because this is a group that respects good ideas. 153 00:07:20,421 --> 00:07:22,321 The one time a year they hear one. 154 00:07:25,593 --> 00:07:27,584 Ryan's assistant told us 155 00:07:27,662 --> 00:07:30,631 that he would be at this club this evening. 156 00:07:30,698 --> 00:07:32,325 It is called Prerogative. 157 00:07:32,533 --> 00:07:34,433 (DANCE MUSIC PLAYING) 158 00:07:37,104 --> 00:07:38,571 MICHAEL: This place is packed! 159 00:07:38,639 --> 00:07:40,129 DWIGHT: F'ire hazard. 160 00:07:40,474 --> 00:07:41,566 Packed with 161 00:07:41,842 --> 00:07:43,309 "beautiful babies." 162 00:07:44,111 --> 00:07:45,942 Swingers, classic. 163 00:07:46,747 --> 00:07:50,080 Jon F'avreau, tall guy from Dodgeball. 164 00:07:50,952 --> 00:07:52,385 These women look like white slaves. 165 00:07:52,453 --> 00:07:54,683 MICHAEL: No, they're just hot. Hotties. 166 00:07:54,755 --> 00:07:57,952 I don't know. When you think about it, Cabo is really the Third World. 167 00:07:58,025 --> 00:08:00,585 RYAN: I don't go to a place like that to see more poverty, you know? 168 00:08:00,661 --> 00:08:01,685 You go there to get some glamour, and... 169 00:08:01,762 --> 00:08:02,751 Hey. 170 00:08:02,863 --> 00:08:03,852 Michael? 171 00:08:03,931 --> 00:08:04,955 Hey. 172 00:08:05,032 --> 00:08:06,056 What are you doing here? 173 00:08:06,133 --> 00:08:07,157 Well, you know, 174 00:08:07,234 --> 00:08:09,099 just taking you up on your offer to party, so... 175 00:08:09,170 --> 00:08:10,159 Ta-da! 176 00:08:10,504 --> 00:08:11,903 That is so awesome, man! 177 00:08:11,973 --> 00:08:13,167 All right! 178 00:08:13,708 --> 00:08:14,732 And you brought this guy! 179 00:08:14,809 --> 00:08:16,037 Yeah! 180 00:08:16,143 --> 00:08:17,371 Oh! 181 00:08:19,313 --> 00:08:20,803 Ryan, it's Michael and Dwight. 182 00:08:20,881 --> 00:08:22,280 I know it's you guys! Okay. 183 00:08:22,350 --> 00:08:24,318 I'm so psyched you're here. Well... 184 00:08:24,385 --> 00:08:25,409 (WHOOPING) 185 00:08:25,486 --> 00:08:26,612 All right! 186 00:08:27,154 --> 00:08:28,280 Let's get a drink! 187 00:08:28,356 --> 00:08:29,380 Let's do it! 188 00:08:37,031 --> 00:08:39,124 JIM: Thanks a lot, guys! Good job! 189 00:08:42,136 --> 00:08:43,160 Later. 190 00:08:43,270 --> 00:08:44,737 Nice job, everybody. 191 00:08:44,805 --> 00:08:45,931 Great work. 192 00:08:52,279 --> 00:08:55,407 Did you not tell the security guard we were working late? 193 00:08:55,850 --> 00:08:58,080 Nope. I didn't. 194 00:08:58,953 --> 00:09:01,717 But let's go inside and I can call him right now. 195 00:09:01,789 --> 00:09:04,724 We can't. I locked the office from the inside when we left. 196 00:09:04,792 --> 00:09:07,352 Perfect. You guys worked together on this one. 197 00:09:07,862 --> 00:09:11,923 If I'm not in my bath with a glass of red wine in one hour, you're both dead. 198 00:09:16,404 --> 00:09:19,567 There is a master key and a spare key for the office. 199 00:09:20,341 --> 00:09:21,865 Dwight has them both. 200 00:09:22,443 --> 00:09:26,140 When I asked, "What if you die, Dwight? How will we get into the office?" 201 00:09:26,213 --> 00:09:29,614 He said, "If I'm dead, you guys have been dead for weeks." 202 00:09:30,351 --> 00:09:33,616 RYAN: Guys, I want you to meet a really good friend of mine. This is Troy. 203 00:09:33,688 --> 00:09:34,746 MICHAEL: Hey, nice to meet you. 204 00:09:34,822 --> 00:09:35,846 How're you doing? 205 00:09:35,923 --> 00:09:37,220 Hi. Dwight. 206 00:09:37,825 --> 00:09:39,759 You resemble the Tolkien character. 207 00:09:39,827 --> 00:09:42,796 He basically is, man. He's a regular banking wizard. 208 00:09:42,863 --> 00:09:44,990 No, no, no, not a wizard. A hobbit. 209 00:09:46,267 --> 00:09:47,325 RYAN: Bottle service, y'all? 210 00:09:47,401 --> 00:09:49,835 MICHAEL: Oh, okay. All I know is, 211 00:09:49,904 --> 00:09:53,067 I would like some chicken fingers and a Midori Sour. 212 00:09:53,140 --> 00:09:54,869 We don't serve food here. 213 00:09:55,009 --> 00:09:58,035 Oh, okay. Then just bring me two cups, 214 00:09:58,112 --> 00:10:02,173 one with olives, and another one filled with maraschino cherries. 215 00:10:04,018 --> 00:10:06,213 Do you live in a regular-sized house? 216 00:10:07,054 --> 00:10:08,681 Yeah, he's a normal guy. He's cool. 217 00:10:09,423 --> 00:10:10,890 You really don't have his phone number? 218 00:10:10,958 --> 00:10:13,222 I told you, I have the number that rings here. 219 00:10:13,294 --> 00:10:14,420 Do you want that number? 220 00:10:14,495 --> 00:10:16,190 I might have it in here. 221 00:10:16,464 --> 00:10:18,159 Wow, that's great, Toby. 222 00:10:18,299 --> 00:10:20,096 It's so random that I have it. 223 00:10:20,167 --> 00:10:21,657 Toby, you're the best! 224 00:10:21,736 --> 00:10:25,035 When I put it in, I thought it might be a waste of time, but I guess it was worth it. 225 00:10:25,106 --> 00:10:27,506 Great. It's under here as "security guard home." 226 00:10:27,575 --> 00:10:29,475 Did you not get his name, or... No. 227 00:10:29,543 --> 00:10:31,943 It's ringing... Does anybody have his name, quick? 228 00:10:32,012 --> 00:10:33,070 Yes, it's Eddie. 229 00:10:33,147 --> 00:10:35,081 It's not... It's not Eddie. It's Evan or... 230 00:10:35,149 --> 00:10:36,548 Hank. His name is Hank. 231 00:10:36,617 --> 00:10:39,279 No, guys, his name's not Hank, it's... Is it Edgar? 232 00:10:39,353 --> 00:10:40,377 Elliot. Elliot. 233 00:10:40,454 --> 00:10:42,388 Is it... Hey, chief. 234 00:10:43,057 --> 00:10:45,218 This is Jim Halpert from 235 00:10:45,359 --> 00:10:46,656 where you work. 236 00:10:47,027 --> 00:10:51,191 You are the guy who sits behind the desk. You're the... 237 00:10:51,866 --> 00:10:53,766 The African-American guy. 238 00:10:53,834 --> 00:10:55,324 I mean, you're... 239 00:10:56,137 --> 00:10:57,297 Who have I got here? 240 00:10:57,371 --> 00:11:00,829 Dwight Schrute, man. How's Schrute F'arms? 241 00:11:00,908 --> 00:11:02,170 Good. 242 00:11:02,243 --> 00:11:04,074 This guy owns his own beet farm. 243 00:11:04,145 --> 00:11:05,169 Insane! 244 00:11:05,246 --> 00:11:07,305 Well, it's weevil season, but we were prepared. 245 00:11:07,381 --> 00:11:10,043 "Weevils." What a crazy word, man. 246 00:11:10,251 --> 00:11:12,685 I don't even know what that means. What does that mean? 247 00:11:12,753 --> 00:11:15,119 They lay their eggs inside the unripe beetroot, 248 00:11:15,189 --> 00:11:17,282 then, come springtime, the babies eat their way out. 249 00:11:17,358 --> 00:11:18,689 Crazy! Sick! 250 00:11:19,660 --> 00:11:22,220 That's too much for me, man. I'm gonna hit the bathroom. 251 00:11:22,296 --> 00:11:24,287 You've already been several times. 252 00:11:24,365 --> 00:11:25,389 Yeah? 253 00:11:25,466 --> 00:11:27,058 Maybe you have some kind of bladder infection. 254 00:11:27,134 --> 00:11:28,192 I don't know. Maybe. 255 00:11:28,269 --> 00:11:29,930 I'll order you some cranberry juice. 256 00:11:30,004 --> 00:11:31,801 With vodka. You're the best! 257 00:11:33,707 --> 00:11:34,969 Do you have powers? 258 00:11:35,576 --> 00:11:36,804 Oh, thank you, Hank. 259 00:11:36,877 --> 00:11:39,539 You are a lifesaver, Hank. Appreciate it. 260 00:11:39,613 --> 00:11:43,242 All right, so Hank is going to come down here. He's gonna let us all out. 261 00:11:43,317 --> 00:11:45,615 He said it should be just under an hour, so... 262 00:11:45,686 --> 00:11:46,948 ALL: Oh! 263 00:11:47,021 --> 00:11:48,045 We did it. 264 00:11:48,122 --> 00:11:50,955 We should all make sure to give him a big tip this Christmas. 265 00:11:51,025 --> 00:11:54,188 Sorry, guys, but I don't think I chipped in for last year's. 266 00:11:54,261 --> 00:11:55,523 Neither did I. 267 00:11:55,896 --> 00:11:57,955 Jim was supposed to collect it. 268 00:12:00,367 --> 00:12:01,891 Way to go, man. 269 00:12:01,969 --> 00:12:03,300 Now he's never gonna come. 270 00:12:03,370 --> 00:12:07,136 By a show of hands, who thinks we're a better couple than Jim and Pam? 271 00:12:10,277 --> 00:12:11,335 Phyllis! 272 00:12:13,347 --> 00:12:17,306 I thought about getting a tattoo on my back, as well, at one point. 273 00:12:17,818 --> 00:12:20,446 I was thinking about getting Back to the Future. 274 00:12:20,521 --> 00:12:22,512 "Back" because it's on my back, 275 00:12:23,057 --> 00:12:27,255 and "F'uture" because I'm the kind of guy who likes to look ahead into the future. 276 00:12:27,728 --> 00:12:30,891 I just think a tattoo should mean something, you know? 277 00:12:31,098 --> 00:12:32,565 And it's my second-favorite movie. 278 00:12:32,633 --> 00:12:34,066 I've never heard of that movie. 279 00:12:34,134 --> 00:12:37,228 Back to the Future? Oh, wow! 280 00:12:37,705 --> 00:12:40,333 Well, you should take a film education course. 281 00:12:40,474 --> 00:12:41,668 How old are you? 282 00:12:41,742 --> 00:12:43,573 40... I'm in my 40s. 283 00:12:44,044 --> 00:12:46,774 Wow, that's so cool. 284 00:12:46,847 --> 00:12:47,836 Yeah. 285 00:12:48,515 --> 00:12:50,278 Well, I'm gonna go back to my group now. 286 00:12:50,351 --> 00:12:51,545 Oh, okay. 287 00:12:51,752 --> 00:12:52,810 Thanks for the drink. 288 00:12:52,887 --> 00:12:54,252 You are welcome. 289 00:12:59,560 --> 00:13:01,824 This place is like a... Like a sexy preschool. 290 00:13:01,896 --> 00:13:03,796 Did you want a place where we can meet older women? 291 00:13:03,864 --> 00:13:06,264 I would love a place where we can meet older girls. 292 00:13:06,333 --> 00:13:07,459 Hell, yeah! 293 00:13:08,269 --> 00:13:09,634 I'll hook it up! 294 00:13:10,638 --> 00:13:11,866 Wow, that's dangerous. 295 00:13:20,514 --> 00:13:21,572 Excuse me. 296 00:13:21,649 --> 00:13:22,741 Yeah? 297 00:13:23,284 --> 00:13:25,275 How did you all find each other? 298 00:13:25,753 --> 00:13:29,416 We're the Jersey State varsity basketball team. Northeast Regional Champs. 299 00:13:29,490 --> 00:13:31,253 (WHOOPING) 300 00:13:32,092 --> 00:13:33,286 Amazons! 301 00:13:34,929 --> 00:13:36,487 It's off. It's not the dude I know. 302 00:13:36,563 --> 00:13:38,656 It's some other loser who won't let us in without chicks. 303 00:13:38,732 --> 00:13:40,222 MICHAEL: You're kidding. RYAN: Let's bail. 304 00:13:40,301 --> 00:13:43,634 Wait, wait, wait. You two, Jersey State girls, let's go. 305 00:13:43,704 --> 00:13:45,569 We're not going unless we can all go. 306 00:13:45,639 --> 00:13:47,106 Okay, you know what? F'ine. 307 00:13:47,174 --> 00:13:49,506 Let's go, two girls to a guy. Come on, let's do it. 308 00:13:49,576 --> 00:13:51,168 Come on, Ryan. Move out! 309 00:13:51,245 --> 00:13:54,476 Hey, three or four with him. Let's go, come on. Here we go. 310 00:13:54,748 --> 00:13:56,045 Don't step on him. 311 00:13:57,918 --> 00:13:58,907 PAM: Really? 312 00:13:58,986 --> 00:14:00,817 Hey, look what I found in the back. 313 00:14:00,888 --> 00:14:02,253 Want to play? I can teach you to throw. 314 00:14:02,323 --> 00:14:03,483 I know how to throw a football. 315 00:14:03,557 --> 00:14:04,683 Of course you do. 316 00:14:04,758 --> 00:14:06,521 ANDY: Yeah, Pam! Hit me up! 317 00:14:06,593 --> 00:14:07,719 KEVIN: Go long! 318 00:14:08,862 --> 00:14:10,329 (GROANING) 319 00:14:14,601 --> 00:14:15,829 BARTENDER: There you go. 320 00:14:15,903 --> 00:14:17,803 Wait a minute. What is this? I didn't order this. 321 00:14:17,871 --> 00:14:20,066 It's for you. F'rom them. 322 00:14:25,245 --> 00:14:26,439 TROY: What are you doing, man? 323 00:14:26,513 --> 00:14:29,243 It's not safe. Anything could have been in there. 324 00:14:29,450 --> 00:14:30,712 Nice try! 325 00:14:30,985 --> 00:14:32,885 I've never met anybody who does that. 326 00:14:32,953 --> 00:14:35,046 You wash dogs. Very cool. 327 00:14:35,122 --> 00:14:37,647 That's one aspect of small pet grooming. What do you do? 328 00:14:37,725 --> 00:14:39,056 I am a bank teller. 329 00:14:39,626 --> 00:14:42,754 Ryan told me to always tell women you work in finance. 330 00:14:42,830 --> 00:14:44,058 Cool. Yeah. 331 00:14:44,131 --> 00:14:45,655 I think so. Yeah, I have fun. 332 00:14:45,733 --> 00:14:47,633 I'm just gonna use the powder room. 333 00:14:47,701 --> 00:14:49,328 All right. So, I'll see you soon. 334 00:14:49,403 --> 00:14:50,631 Very perfect. 335 00:14:58,512 --> 00:15:01,379 This needs to be shared. 336 00:15:12,359 --> 00:15:14,122 (CELL PHONES RINGING) 337 00:15:19,833 --> 00:15:21,460 (ALL GROANING) 338 00:15:21,535 --> 00:15:23,264 She washes dogs. 339 00:15:23,337 --> 00:15:24,702 You're doing it, man I know! 340 00:15:24,772 --> 00:15:27,263 I don't want to get ahead of myself, but... 341 00:15:27,908 --> 00:15:28,897 I think I want her to meet my mom. 342 00:15:28,976 --> 00:15:30,466 Hey, man, 343 00:15:30,577 --> 00:15:33,637 do you ever think there's gonna be this massive nuclear holocaust? 344 00:15:33,714 --> 00:15:35,443 And after all the major nations are destroyed, 345 00:15:35,516 --> 00:15:38,383 there'll just be tribes in the jungles that rise up and survive? 346 00:15:38,452 --> 00:15:40,977 That jungle warfare is gonna rule the world? 347 00:15:41,922 --> 00:15:43,082 Yeah, maybe. 348 00:15:52,066 --> 00:15:53,090 RYAN: It's inevitable, right? 349 00:15:53,167 --> 00:15:54,156 Mmm-hmm. 350 00:15:55,602 --> 00:15:57,035 Please don't pick up. Please don't pick up. 351 00:15:57,104 --> 00:15:58,128 HANK: Hello. 352 00:15:58,205 --> 00:15:59,229 Hank. 353 00:15:59,306 --> 00:16:00,671 Is that you? Yeah. 354 00:16:01,675 --> 00:16:02,869 Still haven't left the house yet, huh? 355 00:16:02,943 --> 00:16:04,501 HANK: I was getting ready to leave. 356 00:16:04,578 --> 00:16:06,569 Good. Please hurry. 357 00:16:06,713 --> 00:16:09,443 Stop calling me, so I can put on my damn socks. 358 00:16:09,716 --> 00:16:12,207 Will do. I'll stop calling. 359 00:16:15,055 --> 00:16:16,317 MICHAEL: I am. 360 00:16:16,457 --> 00:16:18,084 I am getting out there. 361 00:16:18,592 --> 00:16:21,288 Well, no, I've asked a lot of girls to dance, Mom. 362 00:16:21,361 --> 00:16:23,158 They're just... It's not... 363 00:16:24,031 --> 00:16:25,089 Listen to me for a second. 364 00:16:25,165 --> 00:16:26,223 (GIRL SHOUTING) 365 00:16:26,300 --> 00:16:28,768 MICHAEL: Yes, I shaved the back of my neck. 366 00:16:28,836 --> 00:16:30,861 Oh, my God. Mom, I gotta go. 367 00:16:30,938 --> 00:16:32,963 One of my friends is getting beaten up by some girls! 368 00:16:35,142 --> 00:16:38,839 Actually, it's kind of too bad we're not coming into work tomorrow. 369 00:16:38,912 --> 00:16:40,072 Why? 370 00:16:40,147 --> 00:16:41,341 I bet Michael had some elaborate 371 00:16:41,415 --> 00:16:44,578 theme party planned, like "Scrambled Egg Saturday." 372 00:16:45,586 --> 00:16:48,953 More like, "Hey, everyone, let's get your boss laid" Saturday. 373 00:16:59,266 --> 00:17:02,997 I have an announcement to make. 374 00:17:03,370 --> 00:17:07,306 I am moving to Costa Rica. 375 00:17:07,407 --> 00:17:10,638 I've thought about it for a long time, now, 376 00:17:11,145 --> 00:17:12,942 and I'm finally gonna do it. 377 00:17:14,515 --> 00:17:15,641 So... 378 00:17:16,416 --> 00:17:18,976 I'm just gonna hop the fence and jog home, then. 379 00:17:35,135 --> 00:17:36,261 Those girls really whaled on you bad. 380 00:17:36,336 --> 00:17:37,997 Why wouldn't they let me dance? 381 00:17:38,071 --> 00:17:39,436 Okay, I gotta go. 382 00:17:39,606 --> 00:17:41,506 Do not take him to a hospital. 383 00:17:44,011 --> 00:17:45,171 Pretty weird. 384 00:17:45,245 --> 00:17:46,712 Do you have to go with them? 385 00:17:46,780 --> 00:17:48,111 I do, I have to go. 386 00:17:48,182 --> 00:17:49,342 Stay. Just stay, please. 387 00:17:49,416 --> 00:17:50,542 Okay, no. I have to go. 388 00:17:50,617 --> 00:17:51,982 Good luck against Conn College, all right? 389 00:17:52,052 --> 00:17:53,178 Call me. 390 00:17:53,253 --> 00:17:54,277 Uh-huh. 391 00:17:54,354 --> 00:17:55,548 I'm not gonna call her. 392 00:17:55,622 --> 00:17:56,611 I don't want to go back in. 393 00:17:56,690 --> 00:17:57,782 I know. Here we go. 394 00:18:02,663 --> 00:18:04,528 Cleaning people. Oscar? 395 00:18:07,634 --> 00:18:09,693 Okay, so all you need to do is explain to them what happened, 396 00:18:09,770 --> 00:18:10,862 'cause I think they can help us. 397 00:18:10,938 --> 00:18:13,498 Why are you assuming they only speak Spanish? 398 00:18:14,274 --> 00:18:15,866 If they speak Spanish. 399 00:18:16,276 --> 00:18:17,538 OSCAR: Good evening. 400 00:18:17,611 --> 00:18:19,238 We locked ourselves in. 401 00:18:21,782 --> 00:18:23,807 (SPEAKING SPANISH) 402 00:18:25,485 --> 00:18:26,975 They happen to speak Spanish. 403 00:18:27,054 --> 00:18:28,385 Lucky us. 404 00:18:32,759 --> 00:18:35,227 This is a one-time thing. You know that, right? 405 00:18:35,295 --> 00:18:36,956 DWIGHT: Wow. All right! 406 00:18:37,030 --> 00:18:38,463 MICHAEL: This is it. 407 00:18:38,532 --> 00:18:40,261 This is where the magic happens. 408 00:18:40,334 --> 00:18:42,131 Nice! Very nice. 409 00:18:42,202 --> 00:18:44,864 One of you can have the sofa, and one of you can have the floor. 410 00:18:44,938 --> 00:18:46,371 I got the sofa. DWIGHT: I got sofa. 411 00:18:46,440 --> 00:18:47,566 Dwight, I got the sofa, I'm the boss. 412 00:18:47,641 --> 00:18:49,006 Come on. I got floor! 413 00:18:49,076 --> 00:18:50,668 In case anybody needs to go to the bathroom 414 00:18:50,744 --> 00:18:52,905 in the middle of the night, I don't want to get my head stepped on. 415 00:18:52,980 --> 00:18:55,346 Do you want me to sing you a song my mother used to sing me 416 00:18:55,415 --> 00:18:56,905 when we were sick? No. 417 00:18:56,984 --> 00:18:58,008 (SINGING IN GERMAN) 418 00:18:58,085 --> 00:19:00,747 (SHUSHING) Okay, Dwight. Dwight. 419 00:19:02,256 --> 00:19:04,247 Leave him alone. It's a lullaby. 420 00:19:04,958 --> 00:19:07,586 Ryan? Ryan, we're gonna take your clothes off. 421 00:19:07,761 --> 00:19:08,785 No! 422 00:19:11,465 --> 00:19:12,489 Guys... 423 00:19:13,967 --> 00:19:16,765 I think my friend Troy might have a drug problem. 424 00:19:17,571 --> 00:19:18,799 What do I do? 425 00:19:19,406 --> 00:19:22,341 I think his species might have a higher tolerance than ours. 426 00:19:22,409 --> 00:19:24,377 Just stop. 427 00:19:24,911 --> 00:19:26,378 Here's what you do. 428 00:19:27,314 --> 00:19:31,410 You tell him that you're his friend and that you're going to help him, 429 00:19:31,485 --> 00:19:33,885 and that everything's gonna be all right. 430 00:19:35,856 --> 00:19:37,790 And then you put a wire on him, 431 00:19:38,258 --> 00:19:40,726 and you find out who's selling him drugs. 432 00:19:41,595 --> 00:19:44,462 And then you get that guy and you flip him. 433 00:19:44,531 --> 00:19:47,227 You turn him into a snitch. You follow that guy 434 00:19:47,534 --> 00:19:50,094 to the people who're really, really bad. 435 00:19:50,504 --> 00:19:54,270 I've been watching The Wire recently. I don't understand a word of it. 436 00:19:54,508 --> 00:19:55,805 RYAN: Guys, I'm going to sleep. 437 00:19:55,876 --> 00:19:58,970 You can leave the light on if you want, but please stop talking, okay? 438 00:19:59,046 --> 00:20:00,638 Okay. Good night, Ryan. 439 00:20:01,081 --> 00:20:02,412 Good night, Ryan. 440 00:20:05,519 --> 00:20:07,180 Best night ever. 441 00:20:07,954 --> 00:20:09,012 Like I said, 442 00:20:09,089 --> 00:20:12,217 it's not about the horniness. It's about the loneliness. 443 00:20:12,492 --> 00:20:14,892 And how can I be lonely with my boys? 444 00:20:14,961 --> 00:20:16,155 (BOTH SNORING) 445 00:20:16,229 --> 00:20:18,163 Like a famous person once said, 446 00:20:18,799 --> 00:20:20,164 Boys on the Side. 447 00:20:20,634 --> 00:20:22,192 But I don't... I disagree. 448 00:20:22,269 --> 00:20:25,864 I say, Let's Hear It for the Boys. 449 00:20:41,254 --> 00:20:42,949 Son of a bitch.