1
00:00:32,566 --> 00:00:33,534
All right, Jim,

2
00:00:33,567 --> 00:00:36,304
your quarterlies
look very good.

3
00:00:36,337 --> 00:00:37,571
How are things going
at the library?

4
00:00:37,605 --> 00:00:40,074
Oh, I told you.
I couldn't close it, so...

5
00:00:40,108 --> 00:00:43,577
So you've come
to the master for guidance?

6
00:00:43,611 --> 00:00:46,180
[Chinese accent]
Is this what you're saying,
Grasshopper?

7
00:00:46,214 --> 00:00:47,815
Uh, actually,
you called me in here.

8
00:00:47,848 --> 00:00:49,383
But, yeah.

9
00:00:49,417 --> 00:00:52,120
All right, well, let me
show you how it's done.

10
00:00:52,153 --> 00:00:54,588
Yes, I'd like to speak
to your office manager, please.

11
00:00:54,622 --> 00:00:56,757
Yes, hello.
This is Michael Scott.

12
00:00:56,790 --> 00:00:58,459
I am the Regional Manager

13
00:00:58,492 --> 00:01:00,628
of Dunder Mifflin
paper products.

14
00:01:00,661 --> 00:01:03,697
Just wanted to talk to you
manager a manager.

15
00:01:06,700 --> 00:01:07,868
All right, done deal!

16
00:01:07,901 --> 00:01:09,437
[Irish accent]
Thank you very much, sir!

17
00:01:09,470 --> 00:01:13,107
You're gentleman
and a scholar.

18
00:01:13,141 --> 00:01:14,708
Oh, I'm sorry.

19
00:01:14,742 --> 00:01:16,277
Okay.
I'm sorry.

20
00:01:16,310 --> 00:01:18,279
My mistake.

21
00:01:18,312 --> 00:01:19,313
[clears throat]

22
00:01:19,347 --> 00:01:21,582
That was a woman
I was talking to.

23
00:01:21,615 --> 00:01:24,552
So.
She had a very low voice.

24
00:01:24,585 --> 00:01:26,620
Probably a smoker.

25
00:01:26,654 --> 00:01:30,324
So...
[clears throat]

26
00:01:30,358 --> 00:01:31,592
So that's the way it's done.

27
00:01:31,625 --> 00:01:33,894
I've, uh, I've been
at Dunder Mifflin

28
00:01:33,927 --> 00:01:35,296
for 12 years.

29
00:01:35,329 --> 00:01:37,731
The last four
as regional manager.

30
00:01:37,765 --> 00:01:40,768
Uh, if you wanna
come through here.

31
00:01:40,801 --> 00:01:42,903
Ah, see, we have
the entire floor.

32
00:01:42,936 --> 00:01:45,639
So this is my kingdom,
far as the eye can see.

33
00:01:45,673 --> 00:01:48,309
Ah, this
is our receptionist Pam.

34
00:01:48,342 --> 00:01:50,178
[imitating Bam-Bam]
Pam! Pam, Pam!

35
00:01:50,211 --> 00:01:51,412
Pam Beasley.

36
00:01:51,445 --> 00:01:55,149
Uh, Pam has been with us,
um...for...forever.

37
00:01:55,183 --> 00:01:56,250
Right, Pam?

38
00:01:56,284 --> 00:01:57,318
Well, I don't know.

39
00:01:57,351 --> 00:01:58,286
If you think
she's cute now,

40
00:01:58,319 --> 00:01:59,787
you should have seen her
a couple of years ago.

41
00:01:59,820 --> 00:02:01,289
Reow, reow.

42
00:02:01,322 --> 00:02:02,290
What?

43
00:02:02,323 --> 00:02:03,624
Uh, any messages?

44
00:02:03,657 --> 00:02:06,694
Um...yeah.
Just a fax.

45
00:02:06,727 --> 00:02:08,629
Oh.

46
00:02:08,662 --> 00:02:09,563
Pam, this is from corporate.

47
00:02:09,597 --> 00:02:11,265
How many times
have I told you
I know...

48
00:02:11,299 --> 00:02:12,566
that there's
a special filing cabinet

49
00:02:12,600 --> 00:02:13,867
for things from corporate?

50
00:02:13,901 --> 00:02:14,902
You haven't told me--

51
00:02:14,935 --> 00:02:16,270
It's called
the wastepaper basket!

52
00:02:16,304 --> 00:02:18,606
[bawdy laugh]

53
00:02:18,639 --> 00:02:21,175
Look at that!

54
00:02:21,209 --> 00:02:22,710
Oh, look at that face.

55
00:02:22,743 --> 00:02:25,246
People say
I am the best boss.

56
00:02:25,279 --> 00:02:26,614
They go,

57
00:02:26,647 --> 00:02:28,349
"God, we've never worked
in a place like this before.

58
00:02:28,382 --> 00:02:30,251
"You're hilarious.

59
00:02:30,284 --> 00:02:32,420
And you get the best
out of us."

60
00:02:32,453 --> 00:02:34,955
Um...

61
00:02:34,988 --> 00:02:38,659
I think that
pretty much sums it up.

62
00:02:38,692 --> 00:02:40,794
I found it at Spencer Gifts.

63
00:02:43,731 --> 00:02:47,535
* Shall I play for you

64
00:02:47,568 --> 00:02:49,670
* Pa rum pa pum pum

65
00:02:49,703 --> 00:02:53,374
[imitating drums]

66
00:02:53,407 --> 00:02:56,344
* I have no gifts for you

67
00:02:56,377 --> 00:02:58,246
* Pa rum pa pum pum

68
00:02:58,279 --> 00:03:00,548
[imitating drums]

69
00:03:00,581 --> 00:03:03,917
My job is to speak to clients,
um, on the phone,

70
00:03:03,951 --> 00:03:07,555
about...
uh, quantities

71
00:03:07,588 --> 00:03:12,793
and, uh, type of...
copier paper.

72
00:03:12,826 --> 00:03:15,763
You know, whether
we can supply it to them,

73
00:03:15,796 --> 00:03:18,799
whether they can, uh...

74
00:03:18,832 --> 00:03:19,833
pay for it.

75
00:03:19,867 --> 00:03:21,802
And, um...

76
00:03:21,835 --> 00:03:24,872
[clicks tongue]

77
00:03:24,905 --> 00:03:28,742
I'm--I'm boring myself
just talking about this.

78
00:03:32,780 --> 00:03:34,582
Wassuuuup?

79
00:03:34,615 --> 00:03:35,883
Wassuuuup?

80
00:03:35,916 --> 00:03:37,751
I still love that
after seven years.

81
00:03:37,785 --> 00:03:39,820
Whasuuuup?

82
00:03:39,853 --> 00:03:42,490
Whasuuuup?

83
00:03:42,523 --> 00:03:44,258
Whasuuuuuuuuuup?

84
00:03:45,893 --> 00:03:46,860
Whassup?

85
00:03:46,894 --> 00:03:47,861
Oh, wow.

86
00:03:53,801 --> 00:03:55,669
[groans]

87
00:03:59,440 --> 00:04:00,841
What?

88
00:04:00,874 --> 00:04:02,676
Nothin'.

89
00:04:02,710 --> 00:04:04,044
Okay, all right.

90
00:04:04,077 --> 00:04:05,513
See you later.

91
00:04:05,546 --> 00:04:07,481
All right.

92
00:04:07,515 --> 00:04:08,849
Take care.

93
00:04:08,882 --> 00:04:10,384
Back to work!

94
00:04:14,855 --> 00:04:16,690
(woman)
Just try to reach him
sometime today.

95
00:04:16,724 --> 00:04:18,759
Um, I don't know,
just before lunch.

96
00:04:18,792 --> 00:04:20,894
That would be great.

97
00:04:20,928 --> 00:04:22,563
(Michael)
Corporate really doesn't
interfere with me at all.

98
00:04:22,596 --> 00:04:23,631
Jan Levenson-Gould--

99
00:04:23,664 --> 00:04:25,333
Jan! Hello!

100
00:04:25,366 --> 00:04:27,835
I call her
Hillary Rodham Clinton.

101
00:04:27,868 --> 00:04:29,903
Right?
Not to her face, because, uh--

102
00:04:29,937 --> 00:04:32,740
Well, not because
I'm scared of her.

103
00:04:32,773 --> 00:04:34,542
Because I'm not.

104
00:04:34,575 --> 00:04:37,511
But, um, yeah.

105
00:04:37,545 --> 00:04:39,613
All right, was there anything
you wanted to add to the agenda?

106
00:04:39,647 --> 00:04:43,817
Mmm...me no get
an agenda.

107
00:04:43,851 --> 00:04:45,653
I'm sor--What?
I'm sorry?

108
00:04:45,686 --> 00:04:46,887
I didn't get
any agenda.

109
00:04:46,920 --> 00:04:48,889
Well, I faxed one over
to you this morning.

110
00:04:48,922 --> 00:04:50,924
Really? 'Cause it didn't,
uh, I didn't--

111
00:04:50,958 --> 00:04:53,026
Did we get a fax
this morning?

112
00:04:53,060 --> 00:04:54,862
Uh, yeah, the one--

113
00:04:54,895 --> 00:04:58,632
Then why--why isn't
it in my hand?

114
00:04:58,666 --> 00:05:00,768
Because a company runs
on efficiency of communication.

115
00:05:00,801 --> 00:05:02,703
Right? Just...
[imitates gun firing]

116
00:05:02,736 --> 00:05:04,405
Um, so what's the problem,
Pam?

117
00:05:04,438 --> 00:05:07,040
Why didn't, uh,
why didn't I get it?

118
00:05:07,074 --> 00:05:09,343
You put it
in the garbage can

119
00:05:09,377 --> 00:05:11,379
that was a special
filing cabinet.

120
00:05:14,715 --> 00:05:16,617
Yeah!
Uh, that was a joke.

121
00:05:16,650 --> 00:05:17,951
That was a joke
that, uh,

122
00:05:17,985 --> 00:05:19,787
was actually
my brother's.

123
00:05:19,820 --> 00:05:20,788
And it was--
[laughs]

124
00:05:20,821 --> 00:05:21,855
it was supposed
to be with bills,

125
00:05:21,889 --> 00:05:23,824
and it doesn't
work great with faxes.

126
00:05:23,857 --> 00:05:25,025
Do you wanna
look at mine?
Yeah.

127
00:05:25,058 --> 00:05:26,827
Yeah, I would.
Thank you.

128
00:05:26,860 --> 00:05:28,896
Okay, since
the last meeting,

129
00:05:28,929 --> 00:05:30,598
Alan and the board
have decided

130
00:05:30,631 --> 00:05:32,400
that we can't justify
a Scranton branch

131
00:05:32,433 --> 00:05:33,601
and a Stanford branch.

132
00:05:33,634 --> 00:05:34,768
Oh, okay.

133
00:05:34,802 --> 00:05:35,836
Michael, don't panic--

134
00:05:35,869 --> 00:05:36,970
No, no, no, no.
This is good.

135
00:05:37,004 --> 00:05:38,772
This is good.
This is fine, excellent.

136
00:05:38,806 --> 00:05:39,607
Michael, listen,
okay, don't panic.

137
00:05:39,640 --> 00:05:40,741
Although alarm bells
are kinda going

138
00:05:40,774 --> 00:05:43,076
ringy dingy dingy!
We haven't made
any decisions yet.

139
00:05:43,110 --> 00:05:44,478
I've spoken to Josh
in Stanford.

140
00:05:44,512 --> 00:05:45,879
I've told him
the same as you,

141
00:05:45,913 --> 00:05:47,815
and it's up to either
you or him to convince me

142
00:05:47,848 --> 00:05:48,882
that your branch
can incorporate the other.

143
00:05:48,916 --> 00:05:50,150
Okay, no problem.

144
00:05:50,183 --> 00:05:51,985
This does, however, mean that
there's going to be downsizing.

145
00:05:52,019 --> 00:05:53,887
Me no wanna
hear that, Jan.

146
00:05:53,921 --> 00:05:56,123
Because downsizing
is a bitch.

147
00:05:56,156 --> 00:05:58,726
It is a real bitch.

148
00:05:58,759 --> 00:06:01,962
And I wouldn't wish that
on Josh's men.

149
00:06:01,995 --> 00:06:03,831
I certainly wouldn't
wish it on my men.

150
00:06:03,864 --> 00:06:06,600
Or women,
present company excluded.

151
00:06:06,634 --> 00:06:07,968
Sorry, uh...

152
00:06:08,001 --> 00:06:11,138
Is Josh concerned
about downsizing, himself?

153
00:06:11,171 --> 00:06:12,573
Not downsizing himself,

154
00:06:12,606 --> 00:06:13,941
but is he concerned about
downsizing?

155
00:06:17,878 --> 00:06:19,112
Ha ha ha ha!

156
00:06:19,146 --> 00:06:21,014
Question: How long
do we have to act--

157
00:06:21,048 --> 00:06:23,083
[telephone rings]

158
00:06:23,116 --> 00:06:25,553
Oh, Todd Packer.
Terrific rep.

159
00:06:25,586 --> 00:06:26,687
Do you mind
if I take it?

160
00:06:26,720 --> 00:06:27,855
Go right ahead.

161
00:06:27,888 --> 00:06:28,722
Packman.

162
00:06:28,756 --> 00:06:30,190
(Todd)
Hey, you big queen!

163
00:06:30,223 --> 00:06:31,992
Oh, that's not...
appropriate.

164
00:06:32,025 --> 00:06:34,828
Hey, is old Godzillary
coming in today?

165
00:06:34,862 --> 00:06:36,096
Um, I don't know.
I don't know what you mean.

166
00:06:36,129 --> 00:06:39,433
Look, I've been meaning
to ask her one question.

167
00:06:39,467 --> 00:06:41,435
Does the carpet
match the drapes?

168
00:06:41,469 --> 00:06:42,903
Oh, my God.

169
00:06:42,936 --> 00:06:44,171
Ohh!

170
00:06:44,204 --> 00:06:46,974
That's...horrifying.

171
00:06:48,141 --> 00:06:49,943
And horrible.

172
00:06:49,977 --> 00:06:52,846
Horrible person.

173
00:06:52,880 --> 00:06:55,883
So do you think we could
keep a lid on this for now?

174
00:06:55,916 --> 00:06:57,918
I don't wanna worry people
unnecessarily.

175
00:06:57,951 --> 00:06:58,919
No, absolutely.

176
00:06:58,952 --> 00:07:00,220
Under this regime,

177
00:07:00,253 --> 00:07:01,889
it will not
leave this office.

178
00:07:01,922 --> 00:07:03,691
Just...like that.

179
00:07:03,724 --> 00:07:05,859
[whispering]
So what does downsizing
actually mean?

180
00:07:05,893 --> 00:07:06,960
Well...

181
00:07:06,994 --> 00:07:08,996
[whispering]
You guys gotta update
your resumes,

182
00:07:09,029 --> 00:07:09,997
just like I'm doing.

183
00:07:10,030 --> 00:07:11,765
I bet it's gonna be me.

184
00:07:11,799 --> 00:07:14,001
It's probably gonna be me.

185
00:07:14,034 --> 00:07:15,603
Yeah, it'll be you.

186
00:07:15,636 --> 00:07:17,004
I have an important
question for you.

187
00:07:17,037 --> 00:07:18,238
Yes?

188
00:07:18,271 --> 00:07:21,108
[laughing]
Um, are you going to Angela's
cat party on Sunday?

189
00:07:21,141 --> 00:07:23,844
Yeah. Stop.
That is ridiculous.

190
00:07:23,877 --> 00:07:25,679
(Michael)
Am I gonna tell them?
No, I'm not going to tell them.

191
00:07:25,713 --> 00:07:26,847
I don't see
the point of that.

192
00:07:26,880 --> 00:07:28,982
As a doctor, you would not
tell a patient

193
00:07:29,016 --> 00:07:30,751
if they had cancer.

194
00:07:30,784 --> 00:07:31,852
Hey!

195
00:07:31,885 --> 00:07:33,621
Hey!
This is Mr. Scott.

196
00:07:33,654 --> 00:07:35,589
Guilty!
Guilty as charged.

197
00:07:35,623 --> 00:07:37,024
Ryan Howard
from the temp agency.

198
00:07:37,057 --> 00:07:37,825
Uh-huh.

199
00:07:37,858 --> 00:07:39,560
Daniqua sent me down
to start today.

200
00:07:39,593 --> 00:07:41,962
Howard, like Moe Howard,
Three Stooges.

201
00:07:41,995 --> 00:07:43,797
Watch this, this is Moe.

202
00:07:43,831 --> 00:07:44,998
Nyuck! Nyuck! Nyuck!
Nyuck! Nyuck!

203
00:07:45,032 --> 00:07:47,735
Meeeeh!
Ha ha!

204
00:07:47,768 --> 00:07:49,169
Ah, right here.
Three Stooges.

205
00:07:49,202 --> 00:07:51,004
High five!
Oh, Pam.

206
00:07:51,038 --> 00:07:53,040
It's a guy thing, Pam.

207
00:08:09,289 --> 00:08:10,891
(Pam)
I don't think it would be

208
00:08:10,924 --> 00:08:12,893
the worst thing
if they let me go.

209
00:08:12,926 --> 00:08:15,195
Because then I might--

210
00:08:15,228 --> 00:08:16,997
I just, I don't think
it's many little girls' dream

211
00:08:17,030 --> 00:08:19,600
to be a receptionist.

212
00:08:19,633 --> 00:08:21,702
Um, I like to do
illustrations.

213
00:08:21,735 --> 00:08:25,205
Um, mostly watercolor.

214
00:08:25,238 --> 00:08:27,908
A few oil pencil.
Um...

215
00:08:27,941 --> 00:08:31,979
Jim thinks
they're good.

216
00:08:32,012 --> 00:08:34,882
Sure. Uh, Mr. Davis,
let me call you right back.

217
00:08:34,915 --> 00:08:36,684
Yeah, something just came up.
Two minutes.

218
00:08:36,717 --> 00:08:38,852
Thank you very much.

219
00:08:38,886 --> 00:08:39,953
Dwight,
what are you doing?

220
00:08:39,987 --> 00:08:41,855
What?
What are you doing?

221
00:08:41,889 --> 00:08:43,691
Just clearing my desk.
I can't concentrate.

222
00:08:43,724 --> 00:08:44,725
It's not on your desk.

223
00:08:44,758 --> 00:08:45,726
It's overlapping.

224
00:08:45,759 --> 00:08:47,595
It's all spilling
over the edge.

225
00:08:47,628 --> 00:08:49,630
One word, two syllables:
demarcation.

226
00:09:16,156 --> 00:09:17,591
(Dwight)
Downsizing?

227
00:09:17,625 --> 00:09:19,092
Yeah, I have
no problem with that.

228
00:09:19,126 --> 00:09:21,228
I have been
recommending downsizing

229
00:09:21,261 --> 00:09:23,163
since I first got here.

230
00:09:23,196 --> 00:09:25,265
I even brought it up
in my interview.

231
00:09:25,298 --> 00:09:27,968
I say bring it on.

232
00:09:29,136 --> 00:09:30,971
(Pam)
You just still have
these messages from yesterday.

233
00:09:31,004 --> 00:09:33,006
Relax, everything's
under control.

234
00:09:33,040 --> 00:09:35,108
Uh, yeah.
There we go, yeah.

235
00:09:35,142 --> 00:09:36,944
Oh, that's important.
Rrrright.

236
00:09:36,977 --> 00:09:41,114
Oh, this is so important
I should run to answer it.

237
00:09:41,148 --> 00:09:42,783
Sha-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta!

238
00:09:42,816 --> 00:09:45,018
Sha-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta!

239
00:09:45,052 --> 00:09:47,120
Sha-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta!

240
00:09:47,154 --> 00:09:49,356
Sha-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta!

241
00:09:49,389 --> 00:09:51,224
Sha-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta!

242
00:09:51,258 --> 00:09:54,027
Sha-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta!

243
00:09:54,061 --> 00:09:57,064
Sha-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta!

244
00:10:00,834 --> 00:10:01,835
What?

245
00:10:01,869 --> 00:10:03,170
Come on!

246
00:10:03,203 --> 00:10:04,972
Six Million Dollar Man!

247
00:10:05,005 --> 00:10:05,973
Steve Austin!

248
00:10:06,006 --> 00:10:08,341
Actually, that would be
a good salary for me,

249
00:10:08,375 --> 00:10:09,677
don't you think?

250
00:10:09,710 --> 00:10:10,778
$6 million?

251
00:10:10,811 --> 00:10:13,246
Memo to Jan:
I deserve a raise.

252
00:10:13,280 --> 00:10:14,915
Don't we all?

253
00:10:14,948 --> 00:10:16,249
I'm sorry?

254
00:10:16,283 --> 00:10:18,952
It's nothing.

255
00:10:18,986 --> 00:10:21,889
If you're unhappy
with your compensation,

256
00:10:21,922 --> 00:10:24,057
maybe you should
take it up with H.R.

257
00:10:24,091 --> 00:10:24,958
Okay?

258
00:10:24,992 --> 00:10:26,727
Not today, okay?

259
00:10:26,760 --> 00:10:29,062
Pam, just...
be professional.

260
00:10:31,198 --> 00:10:33,701
[sighs]

261
00:10:33,734 --> 00:10:36,069
(Michael)
I think I'm
a role model here.

262
00:10:36,103 --> 00:10:37,871
I think I garner
people's respect.

263
00:10:37,905 --> 00:10:40,741
Attention all Dunder Mifflin
employees, please.

264
00:10:40,774 --> 00:10:42,175
We have a meeting
in the conference room

265
00:10:42,209 --> 00:10:43,744
A.S.A.P.

266
00:10:43,777 --> 00:10:46,213
(Michael)
People I respect,
heroes of mine, would be...

267
00:10:46,246 --> 00:10:48,415
Bob Hope.

268
00:10:48,448 --> 00:10:53,020
Um...
Abraham Lincoln.

269
00:10:53,053 --> 00:10:55,455
Definitely.

270
00:10:55,488 --> 00:10:59,760
Bono.

271
00:10:59,793 --> 00:11:02,329
Uh, and probably God...

272
00:11:02,362 --> 00:11:05,899
would be the fourth one.

273
00:11:05,933 --> 00:11:07,901
And I just think
all those people

274
00:11:07,935 --> 00:11:11,071
really helped the world

275
00:11:11,104 --> 00:11:14,074
in so many ways

276
00:11:14,107 --> 00:11:16,844
that it's, um...

277
00:11:16,877 --> 00:11:18,846
it's really beyond words.

278
00:11:21,181 --> 00:11:23,917
[mispronouncing]
It's really incalcalacable.

279
00:11:23,951 --> 00:11:25,185
Now, I know there are
some rumors out there,

280
00:11:25,218 --> 00:11:27,054
and I just kinda wanna
set the record straight--

281
00:11:27,087 --> 00:11:28,922
I'm Assistant Regional Manger.
I should know first.

282
00:11:28,956 --> 00:11:30,223
Assistant
to the Regional Manager.

283
00:11:30,257 --> 00:11:32,292
Okay, um, can you
just tell me, please?

284
00:11:32,325 --> 00:11:34,127
Just tell me quietly.
Whisper it in my ear.

285
00:11:34,161 --> 00:11:35,729
I'm just about
to tell everyone.

286
00:11:35,763 --> 00:11:37,030
Can't you just
tell us--
Please!

287
00:11:37,064 --> 00:11:38,498
Okay?
Do you want me to tell them?

288
00:11:38,531 --> 00:11:40,167
You don't know
what it is.

289
00:11:40,200 --> 00:11:41,334
[chuckles]

290
00:11:41,368 --> 00:11:43,036
Okay, you tell them.
With my permission.

291
00:11:43,070 --> 00:11:44,237
I don't need--
Permission granted.
Go ahead.

292
00:11:44,271 --> 00:11:47,274
Corporate has
deemed it appropriate

293
00:11:47,307 --> 00:11:50,410
to enforce an ultimatum
upon me.

294
00:11:50,443 --> 00:11:53,313
And, uh, Jan is thinking
about downsizing

295
00:11:53,346 --> 00:11:55,348
either the Stanford branch
or this branch.

296
00:12:03,791 --> 00:12:05,525
Yeah, but, Michael,
what if they downsize here?

297
00:12:05,558 --> 00:12:06,860
Not gonna happen.

298
00:12:06,894 --> 00:12:07,795
It could be
out of your hands, Michael.

299
00:12:07,828 --> 00:12:11,198
It won't be out of my hands,
Stanley, okay?

300
00:12:11,231 --> 00:12:12,265
I promise you that.

301
00:12:12,299 --> 00:12:13,366
Oh, can you promise that?

302
00:12:13,400 --> 00:12:14,835
On his mother's grave.

303
00:12:14,868 --> 00:12:16,069
Well...

304
00:12:16,103 --> 00:12:17,404
No!

305
00:12:17,437 --> 00:12:19,439
Well, yeah,
it is a promise.

306
00:12:19,472 --> 00:12:21,208
And, frankly,
I'm a little bit insulted

307
00:12:21,241 --> 00:12:23,376
that you have to keep
asking about it.

308
00:12:23,410 --> 00:12:24,778
It's just
that we need to know.

309
00:12:24,812 --> 00:12:27,447
I-I know.
Hold on a second.

310
00:12:27,480 --> 00:12:28,816
I think Pam wanted
to say something.

311
00:12:28,849 --> 00:12:31,785
Pam, you, uh...

312
00:12:31,819 --> 00:12:34,287
had a look that you
wanted to ask a question

313
00:12:34,321 --> 00:12:36,790
just now.

314
00:12:36,824 --> 00:12:38,792
I was in the meeting
with Jan,

315
00:12:38,826 --> 00:12:40,961
and she did say
that it could be this branch

316
00:12:40,994 --> 00:12:42,129
that gets the axe.

317
00:12:42,162 --> 00:12:44,264
(Stanley)
Are you sure about that?

318
00:12:44,297 --> 00:12:45,532
Look, Pam...

319
00:12:45,565 --> 00:12:46,666
Uh, maybe
you should stick

320
00:12:46,699 --> 00:12:50,003
to the ongoing confidentiality
agreement of meetings.

321
00:12:50,037 --> 00:12:52,072
Pam, information is power.

322
00:12:52,105 --> 00:12:53,240
So...

323
00:12:53,273 --> 00:12:54,507
(Stanley)
So you can't say for sure

324
00:12:54,541 --> 00:12:55,976
whether it's gonna
be us or them, can you?

325
00:12:56,009 --> 00:12:57,010
No, no, no, no.

326
00:12:57,044 --> 00:12:58,378
Stanley, no.

327
00:12:58,411 --> 00:13:00,814
You did not see me
in there with her.

328
00:13:00,848 --> 00:13:03,383
I said if,
uh, if corporate

329
00:13:03,416 --> 00:13:05,452
wants to come in here
and interfere,

330
00:13:05,485 --> 00:13:07,354
then they're gonna
have to go through me.

331
00:13:07,387 --> 00:13:08,555
Right?

332
00:13:08,588 --> 00:13:10,858
You know, you can go
mess with Josh's people.

333
00:13:10,891 --> 00:13:12,525
But I'm the head
of this family,

334
00:13:12,559 --> 00:13:16,329
and you ain't gonna be
messin' with my chillun'.

335
00:13:22,970 --> 00:13:25,005
If I left,
what would I do with...

336
00:13:25,038 --> 00:13:28,475
all this useless
information in my head?

337
00:13:28,508 --> 00:13:33,080
You know?
Tonnage price of manila folders?

338
00:13:33,113 --> 00:13:35,582
Um, Pam's favorite
flavor of yogurt,

339
00:13:35,615 --> 00:13:37,017
which is mixed berry.

340
00:13:41,388 --> 00:13:42,589
Jim said mixed berries?

341
00:13:44,892 --> 00:13:47,627
Oh, well, yeah,
he's on to me.

342
00:13:47,660 --> 00:13:49,897
Um...

343
00:13:49,930 --> 00:13:51,965
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Watch out for this guy.

344
00:13:51,999 --> 00:13:54,001
Dwight Schrute
in the building.

345
00:13:54,034 --> 00:13:54,701
This is Ryan,
the new temp.

346
00:13:54,734 --> 00:13:56,003
What's up?
Nice to meet you.

347
00:13:56,036 --> 00:13:57,370
Introduce yourself.
Be polite.

348
00:13:57,404 --> 00:13:59,639
Uh, Dwight Schrute,
Assistant Regional Manager.

349
00:13:59,672 --> 00:14:01,942
Assistant
to the Regional Manager.

350
00:14:01,975 --> 00:14:04,411
So, uh, Dwight,
tell him about the Kung Fu

351
00:14:04,444 --> 00:14:06,446
and the car and everything.

352
00:14:06,479 --> 00:14:09,216
Uh, yeah, I got a '78 280Z.

353
00:14:09,249 --> 00:14:10,650
I bought it for 1,200,
fixed it up.

354
00:14:10,683 --> 00:14:11,651
It's now worth three grand.

355
00:14:11,684 --> 00:14:12,485
That is his profit.

356
00:14:12,519 --> 00:14:14,487
Yeah, uh, new engine,
suspension.

357
00:14:14,521 --> 00:14:16,656
I got a respray.
I got some photos.

358
00:14:16,689 --> 00:14:19,126
Oh! Damn it!

359
00:14:19,159 --> 00:14:19,960
Damn it! I--

360
00:14:19,993 --> 00:14:22,195
Hold on, hold on.
Judge is in session.

361
00:14:22,229 --> 00:14:23,931
What is the problem here?

362
00:14:23,964 --> 00:14:26,133
He put my stuff
in Jell-O again!

363
00:14:26,166 --> 00:14:28,501
[Pam laughing]

364
00:14:28,535 --> 00:14:29,970
That's real professional.
Thanks.

365
00:14:30,003 --> 00:14:31,538
This is the third time,
and it wasn't funny

366
00:14:31,571 --> 00:14:32,906
the first two times
either, Jim!

367
00:14:32,940 --> 00:14:34,141
It's okay here.

368
00:14:34,174 --> 00:14:36,509
Uh, but people sometimes
take advantage

369
00:14:36,543 --> 00:14:38,011
because it's so relaxed.

370
00:14:38,045 --> 00:14:41,982
I'm a volunteer sheriff's
deputy on the weekends.

371
00:14:42,015 --> 00:14:44,551
And you cannot
screw around there.

372
00:14:44,584 --> 00:14:46,619
It's sort of
one of the rules.

373
00:14:46,653 --> 00:14:47,620
[laughing]
What is that?

374
00:14:47,654 --> 00:14:48,621
That's my stapler.

375
00:14:48,655 --> 00:14:50,557
No, no!
Do not take it out.

376
00:14:50,590 --> 00:14:52,292
You have to eat it
out of there,

377
00:14:52,325 --> 00:14:53,961
because there are
starving people in the world,

378
00:14:53,994 --> 00:14:54,861
and, which I hate,

379
00:14:54,894 --> 00:14:57,097
and it it is a waste
of that kind of food.

380
00:14:57,130 --> 00:14:58,398
You know what?
You can be a witness.

381
00:14:58,431 --> 00:14:59,967
Can you reprimand him, please?

382
00:15:01,601 --> 00:15:02,936
How do you know it was me?

383
00:15:02,970 --> 00:15:03,803
(Dwight)
It's always you.

384
00:15:03,836 --> 00:15:05,238
Are you gonna
discipline him or not?

385
00:15:05,272 --> 00:15:07,174
Ooh, discipline, kinky!

386
00:15:07,207 --> 00:15:09,709
All right, here's
the deal, you guys.

387
00:15:09,742 --> 00:15:12,512
Thing about a practical joke
is that you have to know

388
00:15:12,545 --> 00:15:14,948
when to start
as well as when to stop.

389
00:15:14,982 --> 00:15:15,983
And, yeah,

390
00:15:16,016 --> 00:15:18,418
Jim, now is the time

391
00:15:18,451 --> 00:15:21,154
to stop putting
Dwight's personal effects

392
00:15:21,188 --> 00:15:23,656
into Jell-O.

393
00:15:23,690 --> 00:15:25,092
[clears throat]
Okay.

394
00:15:25,125 --> 00:15:26,960
Dwight, I'm sorry,
because...

395
00:15:26,994 --> 00:15:29,963
I have always been
your biggest flan.

396
00:15:29,997 --> 00:15:31,031
[laughs]

397
00:15:31,064 --> 00:15:33,200
Ho ho ho, nice!

398
00:15:33,233 --> 00:15:34,968
That's the way
it is around here.

399
00:15:35,002 --> 00:15:36,703
It just kind of goes
round and round and round.

400
00:15:36,736 --> 00:15:39,006
You, uh, you should have
put him in "custardy."

401
00:15:39,039 --> 00:15:40,974
Oh, hey!
Yes!

402
00:15:41,008 --> 00:15:43,376
New guy!
And he scores.

403
00:15:43,410 --> 00:15:44,511
Okay, that's great.

404
00:15:44,544 --> 00:15:46,479
I guess what I'm
most concerned with

405
00:15:46,513 --> 00:15:49,116
is damage
to company property.

406
00:15:49,149 --> 00:15:51,051
That's all.

407
00:15:54,487 --> 00:15:56,123
Pudding.

408
00:15:56,156 --> 00:15:57,690
Putting.

409
00:15:57,724 --> 00:16:01,661
I'm trying to think
what other dessert to do.

410
00:16:01,694 --> 00:16:03,363
[laughs]

411
00:16:03,396 --> 00:16:05,065
Do you like going out

412
00:16:05,098 --> 00:16:07,000
at the end of the week
for a drink?

413
00:16:07,034 --> 00:16:08,168
Yeah.

414
00:16:08,201 --> 00:16:10,203
Well, that's why
we're all going out.

415
00:16:10,237 --> 00:16:11,571
So that we can have
an end-of-the-week drink.

416
00:16:11,604 --> 00:16:12,672
So when are we going out?

417
00:16:12,705 --> 00:16:14,241
I don't know.
Tonight, hopefully.

418
00:16:14,274 --> 00:16:15,408
Okay, yeah.

419
00:16:18,111 --> 00:16:19,079
Hey, man.

420
00:16:19,112 --> 00:16:20,080
Hey!
What's going on?

421
00:16:20,113 --> 00:16:21,081
Hi, baby.
Hey.

422
00:16:21,114 --> 00:16:23,116
Uh, Roy is my fiancé.

423
00:16:23,150 --> 00:16:26,053
We've been engaged
about, um...

424
00:16:26,086 --> 00:16:27,220
about three years.

425
00:16:27,254 --> 00:16:30,057
And, uh, we were supposed
to get married in September,

426
00:16:30,090 --> 00:16:33,326
but I think we're gonna
get married in the spring.

427
00:16:33,360 --> 00:16:36,663
Do you mind if I go out
for a drink with these guys?

428
00:16:36,696 --> 00:16:38,198
Uh, no, no,
come on.

429
00:16:38,231 --> 00:16:40,200
Let's get out of here,
go home.

430
00:16:40,233 --> 00:16:43,103
Okay, um, I'm gonna be
a few minutes, though.

431
00:16:43,136 --> 00:16:45,272
It's only 20 past 5:00.

432
00:16:45,305 --> 00:16:47,140
I still have
to do my faxes.

433
00:16:51,211 --> 00:16:54,047
You know what?
You should come with us.

434
00:16:54,081 --> 00:16:55,048
Because, you know,
we're all going out,

435
00:16:55,082 --> 00:16:57,117
and it could be
a good chance for you to...

436
00:16:57,150 --> 00:16:59,086
see what people are like
outside of the office.

437
00:16:59,119 --> 00:17:01,088
You know, I think
it could be fun.

438
00:17:01,121 --> 00:17:02,155
No, it sounds good.

439
00:17:02,189 --> 00:17:03,290
Oh, no.

440
00:17:03,323 --> 00:17:04,524
Seriously,
we gotta get going.

441
00:17:04,557 --> 00:17:06,159
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

442
00:17:14,701 --> 00:17:19,739
Um...what's in the--
what's in the bag?

443
00:17:19,772 --> 00:17:21,241
Just tell her
I'll talk to her later.

444
00:17:21,274 --> 00:17:23,176
No, definitely.
All right, dude, awesome.

445
00:17:23,210 --> 00:17:24,477
Will do.

446
00:17:27,780 --> 00:17:29,582
(Jim)
Do I think

447
00:17:29,616 --> 00:17:32,352
I'll be invited
to the wedding?

448
00:17:39,426 --> 00:17:42,762
So, uh, have you
felt a vibe yet?

449
00:17:42,795 --> 00:17:44,464
We work hard,
we play hard.

450
00:17:44,497 --> 00:17:46,666
Sometimes we play hard
when we should be working hard.

451
00:17:46,699 --> 00:17:48,135
Right?

452
00:17:48,168 --> 00:17:51,338
Um, I guess the atmosphere
that I've created here

453
00:17:51,371 --> 00:17:53,340
is that I'm a friend first

454
00:17:53,373 --> 00:17:55,242
and a boss second.

455
00:17:55,275 --> 00:17:56,643
Probably, uh--
[knock on door]

456
00:17:56,676 --> 00:17:57,777
Entertainer third.

457
00:17:57,810 --> 00:18:00,747
Just a second!
Right?

458
00:18:00,780 --> 00:18:03,316
Oh, hey, do you, uh,

459
00:18:03,350 --> 00:18:05,285
do you like
The Jamie Kennedy Experiment?

460
00:18:05,318 --> 00:18:06,886
Yeah.
Punk'd and all
that kind of stuff?

461
00:18:06,919 --> 00:18:08,355
Okay, um...

462
00:18:08,388 --> 00:18:09,589
you are gonna
be my accomplice.

463
00:18:09,622 --> 00:18:10,890
Just go along
with it, okay?

464
00:18:10,923 --> 00:18:12,425
All right.
Just follow my lead.

465
00:18:12,459 --> 00:18:14,427
Don't pimp me, all right?
Come in!

466
00:18:14,461 --> 00:18:17,430
So, uh, corporate just
said that I don't want to--
You got a fax.

467
00:18:17,464 --> 00:18:18,865
Oh, thank you, Pam.

468
00:18:18,898 --> 00:18:21,268
Pam, can you come in here
for a sec?

469
00:18:21,301 --> 00:18:22,502
Just have a seat.

470
00:18:22,535 --> 00:18:23,770
I was gonna
call you in anyway.

471
00:18:23,803 --> 00:18:26,206
Um, you know Ryan.

472
00:18:26,239 --> 00:18:28,475
Um, as you know,

473
00:18:28,508 --> 00:18:30,610
there's going to be
downsizing.

474
00:18:30,643 --> 00:18:35,548
And you have made
my life so much easier

475
00:18:35,582 --> 00:18:39,919
in that I am going
to have to let you go first.

476
00:18:39,952 --> 00:18:42,222
What? Why?

477
00:18:42,255 --> 00:18:43,923
Why?
Well, theft.

478
00:18:43,956 --> 00:18:45,292
And stealing.

479
00:18:45,325 --> 00:18:46,293
Stealing?

480
00:18:46,326 --> 00:18:47,394
Mm-hmm.

481
00:18:47,427 --> 00:18:50,463
Um, what am I supposed
to have stolen?

482
00:18:50,497 --> 00:18:52,165
Post-it notes.

483
00:18:52,199 --> 00:18:53,700
Post-it notes?
Yeah.

484
00:18:53,733 --> 00:18:55,568
What are those worth,
like, 50 cents?

485
00:18:55,602 --> 00:18:56,669
50 cents, yeah.

486
00:18:56,703 --> 00:18:59,272
You steal 1,000 Post-It notes
at 50 cents apiece,

487
00:18:59,306 --> 00:19:02,642
and, you know, you've
made a profit...margin.

488
00:19:02,675 --> 00:19:04,944
You know, gonna run us
out of business, Pam.

489
00:19:04,977 --> 00:19:07,146
Are you serious?

490
00:19:08,281 --> 00:19:09,916
Yeah, I, um...

491
00:19:09,949 --> 00:19:12,752
Oh, my--
I can't believe this.

492
00:19:12,785 --> 00:19:15,655
I mean, I've never even
stolen as much as a paper clip,

493
00:19:15,688 --> 00:19:17,957
and now you're firing me.

494
00:19:17,990 --> 00:19:20,327
And the best thing about it
is that, uh,

495
00:19:20,360 --> 00:19:24,231
we're not gonna have
to give you any severance pay.

496
00:19:24,264 --> 00:19:27,967
Because that is
gross misconduct, and, uh...

497
00:19:28,000 --> 00:19:31,304
So just clean out your desk.
I'm sorry.

498
00:19:37,844 --> 00:19:39,312
[sniffling]

499
00:19:48,020 --> 00:19:51,258
You've been "Xed," punk!

500
00:19:51,291 --> 00:19:52,725
Surprise!
It's a joke!

501
00:19:52,759 --> 00:19:54,294
We were joking around!

502
00:19:54,327 --> 00:19:55,228
[laughs]
See?

503
00:19:55,262 --> 00:19:56,796
Okay, he was in on it.

504
00:19:56,829 --> 00:19:57,997
He was my accomplice.

505
00:19:58,030 --> 00:20:01,601
And it was just kind of
a morale booster thing.

506
00:20:01,634 --> 00:20:05,272
And we were showing
the new guy around, kind of--

507
00:20:05,305 --> 00:20:07,340
kind of giving him
the feel of the place.

508
00:20:07,374 --> 00:20:09,676
So you sh--

509
00:20:09,709 --> 00:20:11,978
God, you were--
We totally got you--

510
00:20:12,011 --> 00:20:14,314
You're a jerk!

511
00:20:14,347 --> 00:20:15,648
Ah, I don't know
about that.

512
00:20:31,531 --> 00:20:32,799
(Michael)
What is the most

513
00:20:32,832 --> 00:20:34,901
important thing
for a company?

514
00:20:34,934 --> 00:20:38,938
Is it the cash flow?
Is it the inventory?

515
00:20:38,971 --> 00:20:40,973
Nuh-uh.

516
00:20:41,007 --> 00:20:43,276
It's the people.

517
00:20:43,310 --> 00:20:45,578
The people.

518
00:20:45,612 --> 00:20:46,979
My proudest moment here

519
00:20:47,013 --> 00:20:50,417
was not when
I increased profits by 17%.

520
00:20:50,450 --> 00:20:52,919
Or when I cut expenses

521
00:20:52,952 --> 00:20:54,554
without losing
a single employee.

522
00:20:54,587 --> 00:20:56,323
No, no, no, no, no.

523
00:20:56,356 --> 00:20:59,359
It was a young
Guatemalan guy.

524
00:20:59,392 --> 00:21:02,295
First job in the country,
barely spoke English.

525
00:21:02,329 --> 00:21:04,531
Came to me and said,

526
00:21:04,564 --> 00:21:07,033
[Spanish accent]
"Mr. Scott,

527
00:21:07,066 --> 00:21:12,805
would you be the godfather
of my child?"

528
00:21:12,839 --> 00:21:15,942
Wow. Wow.

529
00:21:15,975 --> 00:21:17,677
Wow.

530
00:21:21,013 --> 00:21:22,415
Didn't work out in the end.

531
00:21:22,449 --> 00:21:24,283
We had to let him go.
He sucked.

532
00:21:28,588 --> 00:21:30,089
[sniffles]

533
00:21:30,122 --> 00:21:31,391
Hey.

534
00:21:31,424 --> 00:21:32,725
Hey.
Hi.

535
00:21:32,759 --> 00:21:33,693
How are you?
Good.

536
00:21:33,726 --> 00:21:36,429
I thought you were
going out for a drink with--

537
00:21:36,463 --> 00:21:37,897
Oh, no, no.

538
00:21:37,930 --> 00:21:40,467
Just going to, uh...

539
00:21:40,500 --> 00:21:42,001
How's your headache?

540
00:21:42,034 --> 00:21:43,336
It's better.
Thanks.
Good.

541
00:21:43,370 --> 00:21:45,071
Good, that's great.

542
00:21:45,104 --> 00:21:46,706
Is, uh--
Yeah?

543
00:21:46,739 --> 00:21:49,342
Um, are you, uh...

544
00:21:49,376 --> 00:21:50,510
Am I walking out?

545
00:21:50,543 --> 00:21:51,744
Yes.

546
00:21:51,778 --> 00:21:53,346
Yes.
Do you wanna?

547
00:21:53,380 --> 00:21:55,348
Yeah.
Great.

548
00:21:55,382 --> 00:21:56,949
Let me just--
[car horn honks]

549
00:21:56,983 --> 00:21:59,018
Oh, Roy.
Yeah.

550
00:21:59,051 --> 00:22:00,453
Listen,
have a nice weekend.

551
00:22:00,487 --> 00:22:02,755
Yeah, definitely.
You too.

552
00:22:02,789 --> 00:22:04,491
Enjoy it.

553
00:22:07,394 --> 00:22:09,396
[door closes]

554
00:22:31,584 --> 00:22:34,587
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