1 00:00:09,139 --> 00:00:10,140 - [sighs] I'M HAVING SECOND THOUGHTS 2 00:00:10,184 --> 00:00:12,273 ABOUT ONE OF THE SHIRTS I PACKED. 3 00:00:12,316 --> 00:00:15,015 THE BLUE ONE WITH THE STRIPES. 4 00:00:15,058 --> 00:00:17,017 - I'M SURE IT'S FINE. IT'S A BLUE SHIRT. 5 00:00:17,060 --> 00:00:19,454 - WELL, YEAH, BUT I'M WONDERINGIF IT'S TOO BLUE. 6 00:00:19,497 --> 00:00:24,850 LIKE, AM I MAKING A STATEMENT WITH THE BLUENESS? 7 00:00:24,894 --> 00:00:28,115 I AM LEAVING EARLY TODAY FOR PHILLY, 8 00:00:28,158 --> 00:00:31,857 BECAUSE TOMORROW IS THE FIRST DAY OF MY NEW JOB. 9 00:00:31,901 --> 00:00:34,121 SO I FIGURE I'D GET IN AT 5:00, 10 00:00:34,164 --> 00:00:36,906 CHECK INTO A HOTEL AT ABOUT 6:00 11 00:00:36,949 --> 00:00:38,473 SO I CAN GET A REAL GOOD NIGHT 12 00:00:38,516 --> 00:00:41,345 OF RESTLESS SLEEP AND NERVOUS PUKING. 13 00:00:41,389 --> 00:00:43,086 - UH, EXCUSE ME. TRYING TO GET WORK DONE. 14 00:00:43,130 --> 00:00:45,045 SOME PEOPLE DON'T CARE ABOUT JIM'S NEW SPORTS JOB 15 00:00:45,088 --> 00:00:46,916 IN PHILA-WHATEVER. 16 00:00:46,959 --> 00:00:49,397 - SO YOU KNOW MY JOBHAS SOMETHING TO DO WITH SPORTS, 17 00:00:49,440 --> 00:00:52,095 BUT YOU DON'T KNOW THE END OF THE WORD "PHILADELPHIA"? 18 00:00:52,139 --> 00:00:53,488 - PHILADELPHIA. 19 00:00:53,531 --> 00:00:55,490 FROM THE GREEK PHILIA, MEANING "LOVE," 20 00:00:55,533 --> 00:00:57,492 AND ADELPH, MEANING "ADOLF." 21 00:00:57,535 --> 00:00:59,015 "THE CITY THAT LOVES ADOLF." 22 00:00:59,059 --> 00:01:01,061 GOOD LUCK WITH YOUR NEW ENTERPRISE. 23 00:01:01,104 --> 00:01:02,627 AND DON'T WEAR THE BLUE STRIPED SHIRT. 24 00:01:02,671 --> 00:01:06,066 IT MAKES YOUR NECK LOOK LIKE AN OLD MOP HANDLE. 25 00:01:08,459 --> 00:01:09,982 - OH... HEY, GUYS, 26 00:01:10,026 --> 00:01:12,028 THE CHRISTMAS PARTY IS TODAY. 27 00:01:12,072 --> 00:01:13,595 MERRY CHRISTMAS, EVERYONE! 28 00:01:13,638 --> 00:01:15,118 - NO. - IS IT? 29 00:01:15,162 --> 00:01:16,424 - I MEAN, IT SAYS "X-MAS PARTY," 30 00:01:16,467 --> 00:01:18,991 BUT I THINK WE ALL KNOW WHAT THAT'S CODE FOR. 31 00:01:19,035 --> 00:01:21,124 - SO WE'RE NOT GONNA HAVE A CHRISTMAS PARTY THIS YEAR? 32 00:01:21,168 --> 00:01:23,083 ANGELA, HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO US? 33 00:01:23,126 --> 00:01:25,172 - OH, RIGHT, LIKE I'M RESPONSIBLE 34 00:01:25,215 --> 00:01:27,043 'CAUSE I'M IN CHARGEOF THE PARTY PLANNING COMMITTEE. 35 00:01:27,087 --> 00:01:29,045 - WELL, YOU ARE THE ONE IN CHARGE OF IT. 36 00:01:29,089 --> 00:01:31,047 - DON'T BLAME ME FOR SOMETHING WE ALL FORGOT. 37 00:01:31,091 --> 00:01:34,006 - YEAH, LET'S NOT BLAME HER FOR SOMETHING WE ALL FORGOT. 38 00:01:34,050 --> 00:01:37,053 I DIDN'T REALIZE HOW MANY OFANGELA'S OPINIONS I AGREED WITH, 39 00:01:37,097 --> 00:01:39,099 UNTIL SHE TRIED TO HAVE MY KNEECAP SHATTERED 40 00:01:39,142 --> 00:01:40,317 FOR SLEEPING WITH HER HUSBAND. 41 00:01:40,361 --> 00:01:43,712 SHE MAKES A LOT OF VERY SOUND POINTS. 42 00:01:43,755 --> 00:01:45,148 - I KNEW THE PARTY WAS TODAY, 43 00:01:45,192 --> 00:01:47,150 BUT NOBODY ASKED ME TO PLAN IT,SO I DIDN'T. 44 00:01:47,194 --> 00:01:48,717 HMM, FUNNY HOW THAT WORKS. 45 00:01:48,760 --> 00:01:50,371 - [scoffs] WE'RE OUT THERE 46 00:01:50,414 --> 00:01:52,373 SWEATING OUR BALLS OFF EVERY DAY, 47 00:01:52,416 --> 00:01:53,678 BUSTIN' OUR BALLS. 48 00:01:53,722 --> 00:01:55,332 WE DESERVE A CHRISTMAS PARTY! 49 00:01:55,376 --> 00:01:57,204 - WELL, THEN, WHY DON'T WE JUST GET SOME LIQUOR 50 00:01:57,247 --> 00:02:00,598 AND THOSE MINI-CUPCAKES? - MINI-CUPCAKES? 51 00:02:00,642 --> 00:02:03,558 AS IN THE MINI VERSION OF REGULAR CUPCAKES, 52 00:02:03,601 --> 00:02:06,343 WHICH IS ALREADY A MINI VERSION OF CAKE? 53 00:02:06,387 --> 00:02:09,085 HONESTLY, WHERE DOES IT END WITH YOU PEOPLE? 54 00:02:09,129 --> 00:02:11,479 - WHAT ABOUT AN AUTHENTIC PENNSYLVANIA DUTCH CHRISTMAS? 55 00:02:11,522 --> 00:02:13,263 DRINK SOME GLUHWEIN, 56 00:02:13,307 --> 00:02:15,091 ENJOY SOME HASENPFEFFER. 57 00:02:15,135 --> 00:02:17,528 ENJOY CHRISTMAS WITH SAINT NICOLAS' 58 00:02:17,572 --> 00:02:20,314 RURAL GERMAN COMPANION, BELSNICKEL. 59 00:02:20,357 --> 00:02:23,404 - YES! THAT, THAT, THAT! 60 00:02:23,447 --> 00:02:26,102 WE'RE DEFINITELY DOING THAT. ARE WE ALL IN AGREEMENT? 61 00:02:26,146 --> 00:02:27,147 - NO. - NO! 62 00:02:27,190 --> 00:02:28,539 - DONE, RIGHT? - NO. 63 00:02:28,583 --> 00:02:30,106 I WANT TROPICAL CHRISTMAS. 64 00:02:30,150 --> 00:02:32,761 - TOPLESS CHRISTMAS. - TAPAS SWISS MISS! 65 00:02:32,804 --> 00:02:36,112 SPANISH TAPAS AND SWISS MISS HOT COCOA-- 66 00:02:36,156 --> 00:02:38,114 WHAT'S SO HARD TO UNDERSTAND? 67 00:02:38,158 --> 00:02:40,682 - OR, WHO WAS IT THAT SUGGESTED 68 00:02:40,725 --> 00:02:42,379 THE AUTHENTIC PENNSYLVANIA DUTCH CHRISTMAS? 69 00:02:42,423 --> 00:02:43,728 I THINK IT WAS SOMEONE REALLY POPULAR. 70 00:02:43,772 --> 00:02:45,513 - WE ALREADY SAID NO. - NO, NO, NO. 71 00:02:45,556 --> 00:02:46,992 - TOO WEIRD. 72 00:02:47,036 --> 00:02:48,255 - THIS IS ME AND MY FAMILY 73 00:02:48,298 --> 00:02:49,430 CELEBRATING PENNSYLVANIA DUTCH CHRISTMAS 74 00:02:49,473 --> 00:02:51,258 IN 1982 ON THE FARM. 75 00:02:51,301 --> 00:02:53,216 THERE'S ME AND MY BROTHER JEB 76 00:02:53,260 --> 00:02:55,087 BREAKING THE CEREMONIAL PIG RIB. 77 00:02:55,131 --> 00:02:57,438 HE DOESN'T COME BACK FOR CHRISTMAS ANYMORE. 78 00:02:57,481 --> 00:03:00,528 THE SEPIA TINT IS FROM AN APP ON MY PHONE. 79 00:03:00,571 --> 00:03:04,087 THIS IS THE SAME PHOTO, MATRIXSTYLE. 80 00:03:04,581 --> 00:03:06,316 - I'M NOT UNDERSTANDING THE CONFUSION. 81 00:03:06,360 --> 00:03:07,709 AM I THE ONLY ONE WHO WANTS TO TRY 82 00:03:07,752 --> 00:03:09,697 HUFFLEPUFFS AND SCHNAUZERHOSEN, 83 00:03:09,780 --> 00:03:11,278 AND MEET THIS GLENPICKLE GUY? 84 00:03:11,321 --> 00:03:12,627 [shrill whistle blows] 85 00:03:12,670 --> 00:03:14,544 - PARTY PLANNING COMMITTEE, EMERGENCY MEETING. 86 00:03:14,597 --> 00:03:15,649 NOW. 87 00:03:18,502 --> 00:03:20,809 - I'M ON IT. - RIGHT. 88 00:03:20,852 --> 00:03:22,158 - I'M JUST HOPING GERMAN TERRORISTS 89 00:03:22,202 --> 00:03:23,377 DON'T TAKE OVER THIS CHRISTMAS PARTY. 90 00:03:23,420 --> 00:03:25,770 MAKE ME GOALL JOHN MCCLANE ON THEIR ASSES. 91 00:03:25,814 --> 00:03:28,208 - WAIT, GERMAN TERRORISTS? THAT'S ODDLY SPECIFIC. 92 00:03:28,251 --> 00:03:30,645 AND I THINK-- I THINK YOU MEAN JOHN MCCAIN. 93 00:03:30,688 --> 00:03:32,473 - DIE HARDREFERENCE. 94 00:03:32,516 --> 00:03:35,127 - I HAVEN'T SEEN IT. - YOU HAVEN'T SEEN DIE HARD? 95 00:03:35,171 --> 00:03:37,260 - MM-MMM. WHY HAVEN'T YOU SEEN DIE HARD? 96 00:03:37,304 --> 00:03:39,306 - I DON'T KNOW, I JUST HAVEN'T. 97 00:03:39,349 --> 00:03:41,642 - COME ON, YOU HAD TO HAVE AT LEAST SEEN SOME OF IT. 98 00:03:41,695 --> 00:03:42,843 - NO. 99 00:03:42,876 --> 00:03:45,747 - "NOW, I HAVE A MACHINE GUN. 100 00:03:45,790 --> 00:03:47,705 HO, HO, HO." 101 00:03:47,749 --> 00:03:49,272 - [as Bruce Willis] "COME OUT TO THE COAST, 102 00:03:49,316 --> 00:03:51,231 WE'LL GET TOGETHER, HAVE A FEW LAUGHS." 103 00:03:51,274 --> 00:03:53,494 - NONE OF THIS MAKES ANY SENSE TO ME! 104 00:03:53,537 --> 00:03:56,236 - OH, YEAH, AND WHEN HE TAKES THE GUN OFF HIS BACK, 105 00:03:56,279 --> 00:03:58,586 AND HE'S LIKE, "YIPPIE-KI-YAY, MOTHER--" 106 00:03:58,629 --> 00:04:00,718 - ACTUALLY, HE DOESN'T SAY THAT THERE. 107 00:04:00,762 --> 00:04:05,332 HE SAYS IT EARLIER WHEN HE'S ON THE RADIO WITH HANS. 108 00:04:05,375 --> 00:04:07,725 - YES, YOU ARE RIGHT. FORGIVE ME. 109 00:04:07,769 --> 00:04:09,858 - OH, THAT'S OKAY, BUD. - NOPE. 110 00:04:09,901 --> 00:04:11,686 - COMMON MISTAKE. - NO, IT'S NOT. 111 00:04:11,729 --> 00:04:13,296 - NERD! 112 00:04:13,340 --> 00:04:15,385 DO YOU KNOW EVERY LINE OF THE MOVIE? 113 00:04:15,429 --> 00:04:17,213 - MY BROTHER DARED ME TO MEMORIZE IT, 114 00:04:17,257 --> 00:04:20,216 AND I DID IT, AND I LOVED DOING IT. 115 00:04:20,260 --> 00:04:22,305 - OKAY, LET'S HEAR IT. 116 00:04:22,349 --> 00:04:24,351 - HEAR WHAT? - DIE HARD. 117 00:04:24,394 --> 00:04:26,744 EVERY LINE. GO. 118 00:04:26,788 --> 00:04:28,224 - YOU DON'T LIKE FLYING, DO YOU? 119 00:04:28,268 --> 00:04:30,313 - DON'T CHANGE THE SUBJECT. 120 00:04:30,357 --> 00:04:31,662 - NO, THAT'S THE-- 121 00:04:31,706 --> 00:04:33,273 - MOVIE IS STARTING. 122 00:04:33,316 --> 00:04:34,578 - WE'RE THINKING OF COLLABORATING 123 00:04:34,622 --> 00:04:36,450 WITH MIKE SCHMIDT ON SOME OF HIS CHARITY WORK. 124 00:04:36,493 --> 00:04:39,235 - I LOVE PHILLY. DIRTY TOWN. 125 00:04:39,279 --> 00:04:42,107 - AH-HA-HA! PHILLY! 126 00:04:42,151 --> 00:04:45,328 EXCITING STUFF, MAN. - WHOO! 127 00:04:45,372 --> 00:04:47,417 - SO YOU SURE YOU REMEMBERED EVERYTHING FOR YOUR TRIP? 128 00:04:47,461 --> 00:04:51,378 - YEAH, I THINK SO.- THINK THAT THROUGH FOR A SEC. 129 00:04:51,421 --> 00:04:53,249 YEAH, JIM'S GOING TO PHILLY TOMORROW. 130 00:04:53,293 --> 00:04:54,511 HE SAID HE WAS GONNA TAKE ME WITH HIM, 131 00:04:54,555 --> 00:04:56,208 BUT THAT WAS TWO MONTHS AGO. 132 00:04:56,252 --> 00:04:58,559 AND I HAVEN'T HEARD ANYTHING SINCE. 133 00:04:58,602 --> 00:05:01,692 I MEAN, HE SAID THAT, RIGHT? 134 00:05:01,736 --> 00:05:04,391 WHAT ELSE COULD YOU POSSIBLY BE FORGETTING? 135 00:05:04,434 --> 00:05:07,004 - UH-- - THINGS? PEOPLE? 136 00:05:07,107 --> 00:05:08,699 - [chuckles nervously] 137 00:05:08,743 --> 00:05:10,571 - YOU KNOW WHO'S NOT GONNA GET TO WORK 138 00:05:10,614 --> 00:05:12,399 ON SOME EXCITING NEW STARTUP THIS YEAR? 139 00:05:12,442 --> 00:05:14,444 GEORGE HOWARD SKUB, 140 00:05:14,488 --> 00:05:17,404 A.K.A. THE ALLEGED SCRANTON STRANGLER, 141 00:05:17,447 --> 00:05:19,406 BECAUSE HE'S IN PRISON 142 00:05:19,449 --> 00:05:21,364 FOR SOMETHING HE MAY NOT HAVE DONE. 143 00:05:21,408 --> 00:05:24,280 - I'M SORRY, THE-- UH, THE SCRANTON WHO? 144 00:05:24,324 --> 00:05:26,761 - THE SCRANTON STRANGLER. GEORGE HOWARD SKUB. 145 00:05:26,804 --> 00:05:28,284 HAVEN'T I TOLD YOU ABOUT THE JURY 146 00:05:28,328 --> 00:05:29,372 I WAS ON A COUPLE YEARS AGO? 147 00:05:29,416 --> 00:05:31,461 - [gasps] OH, WHAT HAPPENED? 148 00:05:31,505 --> 00:05:33,202 I MEAN, IF YOU CAN TALK ABOUT IT, OBVIOUSLY. 149 00:05:33,245 --> 00:05:34,377 BECAUSE IF YOU CAN'T, I MEAN, I UNDERSTAND. 150 00:05:34,421 --> 00:05:38,338 - I--I COULD-- I COULD TALK ABOUT IT. 151 00:05:38,381 --> 00:05:39,556 - SEE YOU NEXT CHRISTMAS. 152 00:05:39,600 --> 00:05:40,862 - I COULD, SURE. HAVE A SEAT. 153 00:05:40,905 --> 00:05:42,873 I WOULD START AT THE BEGINNING, 154 00:05:42,986 --> 00:05:46,650 BUT I THINK I NEED TO GO FARTHER BACK. 155 00:05:46,694 --> 00:05:48,783 - WE'RE THE PARTY PLANNING COMMITTEE, 156 00:05:48,826 --> 00:05:50,437 AND WE DID NOT GET WHERE WE ARE 157 00:05:50,480 --> 00:05:51,960 BY PLAYING IT SAFE. 158 00:05:52,003 --> 00:05:54,515 WE GOT HERE BY BEING RISK TAKERS. 159 00:05:54,808 --> 00:05:55,886 AND, YEAH, 160 00:05:55,949 --> 00:05:58,858 DWIGHT'S PARTY IS GONNA BE TERRIBLE. 161 00:05:59,671 --> 00:06:01,839 MAYBE. 162 00:06:01,883 --> 00:06:05,452 MAYBE IT'S NOT. 163 00:06:05,495 --> 00:06:07,410 MAYBE IT'S GOING TO BE GREAT. 164 00:06:07,454 --> 00:06:09,260 AND, IF IT'S GREAT... 165 00:06:12,763 --> 00:06:14,156 I THINK WE ALL KNOW 166 00:06:14,199 --> 00:06:16,025 WHAT THAT WOULD MEAN TO US. 167 00:06:18,928 --> 00:06:20,112 - LET'S DO IT. 168 00:06:20,185 --> 00:06:21,724 - YES. PHYLLIS! 169 00:06:21,778 --> 00:06:22,792 - NO. 170 00:06:22,904 --> 00:06:24,732 I DON'T WANT MY NAME ATTACHED TO THIS PARTY. 171 00:06:24,775 --> 00:06:25,863 - WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN? 172 00:06:25,907 --> 00:06:27,341 WHERE WOULD YOUR NAME APPEAR? 173 00:06:27,384 --> 00:06:29,301 - PLEASE JUST TAKE MY NAME OFF OF EVERYTHING. 174 00:06:29,345 --> 00:06:31,894 - JUST TAKE HER NAME OFF OF EVERYTHING. 175 00:06:31,978 --> 00:06:34,437 - [clears throat] 176 00:06:34,481 --> 00:06:37,005 THE PARTY PLANNING COMMITTEE, MINUS ANGELA, 177 00:06:37,048 --> 00:06:42,532 HAS DECIDED THAT WE'RE ALL GOINGTO DO DWIGHT'S CHRISTMAS. 178 00:06:42,576 --> 00:06:44,316 - YES! YEAH! 179 00:06:44,360 --> 00:06:46,362 YEAH! OKAY! 180 00:06:46,406 --> 00:06:48,582 YES! IT'S A CHRISTMAS MIRACLE! 181 00:06:48,625 --> 00:06:50,279 YEAH! 182 00:06:50,322 --> 00:06:52,455 WHOO-HOO! - DWIGHT, THERE IS ONE RULE 183 00:06:52,499 --> 00:06:54,457 THAT YOU NEED TO TAKE VERY SERIOUSLY. 184 00:06:54,501 --> 00:06:56,372 - UH-HUH. - AND THAT IS... 185 00:06:56,416 --> 00:06:57,504 - UH-OH. 186 00:06:57,547 --> 00:06:58,722 - THAT THERE ARE NO RULES. 187 00:06:58,766 --> 00:07:02,116 - YOU HAVE NEVER BEEN COOLER. 188 00:07:02,259 --> 00:07:04,511 BEST CHRISTMAS EVER. 189 00:07:04,554 --> 00:07:05,773 - YOU'RE WELCOME. 190 00:07:05,816 --> 00:07:07,775 - THANK YOU. 191 00:07:09,646 --> 00:07:12,214 - [playing horn] 192 00:07:12,257 --> 00:07:16,436 AND PENNSYLVANIA DUTCH CHRISTMASHAS OFFICIALLY BEGUN. 193 00:07:16,479 --> 00:07:19,264 - UGH. WHAT IS THIS STUFF, LAVA? 194 00:07:19,308 --> 00:07:22,224 - THAT IS GLUHWEIN, OTHERWISE KNOWN AS GLOW-WINE, 195 00:07:22,267 --> 00:07:24,226 ALSO USED TO STERILIZE MEDICAL INSTRUMENTS. 196 00:07:24,269 --> 00:07:27,185 AND, INTERESTING FACTOID, 197 00:07:27,229 --> 00:07:29,536 THIS IS THE VERY SPOON THAT GUIDED MY SOFT SKULL 198 00:07:29,579 --> 00:07:32,147 THROUGH THE BIRTH CANAL WHEN I WAS BORN. 199 00:07:32,190 --> 00:07:34,062 ENJOY. - WHAT IS IT? 200 00:07:34,105 --> 00:07:36,238 DON'T TOUCH IT. 201 00:07:37,441 --> 00:07:39,400 - SOMEBODY'S FOUND THE HOG MAW.- OH! 202 00:07:39,464 --> 00:07:40,648 - WHAT? 203 00:07:40,732 --> 00:07:41,977 IT'S A PENNSYLVANIA DUTCH SPECIALTY. 204 00:07:42,071 --> 00:07:44,061 HOG MAW. THAT'S A BEAUTY, ISN'T IT? 205 00:07:44,155 --> 00:07:45,247 I DON'T EVEN WANT TO TELL YOU WHAT IT'S MADE OF 206 00:07:45,290 --> 00:07:46,553 UNTIL AFTER YOU TRY IT. 207 00:07:46,596 --> 00:07:48,642 - UGH. I'M NOT EATING MYSTERY MEAT. 208 00:07:48,685 --> 00:07:50,382 - IT IS STUFFED PIG STOMACH. 209 00:07:50,426 --> 00:07:53,037 AND, AFTER WE FINISH IT, WE GET TO BREAK THE PIG RIB. 210 00:07:53,081 --> 00:07:54,212 - CAN'T WAIT. - WEIRD. 211 00:07:54,256 --> 00:07:55,997 WHERE ARE THE SUGAR COOKIES? 212 00:07:56,040 --> 00:07:57,520 WHERE'S THE KARAOKE MACHINE? 213 00:07:57,564 --> 00:07:59,844 - THIS IS AUSTERE, MEREDITH. 214 00:07:59,928 --> 00:08:03,352 THIS IS CELEBRATING CHRISTMAS FOR ALL OF THE RIGHT REASONS. 215 00:08:03,395 --> 00:08:07,182 THE COOKIES AND TOYS AND SWEETSARE MERE DISTRACTIONS. 216 00:08:07,225 --> 00:08:09,600 I MEAN, MOST PEOPLE DON'T EVEN KNOW 217 00:08:09,654 --> 00:08:11,534 THAT A CANDY CANE REPRESENTS A SHEPHERD'S CROOK, 218 00:08:11,578 --> 00:08:14,232 WHICH I ASSURE YOUDOES NOT TASTE LIKE PEPPERMINT. 219 00:08:14,276 --> 00:08:15,915 IT TASTES LIKE SHEEP FECES. 220 00:08:15,988 --> 00:08:17,105 - HOW WOULD ANYONE EVEN KNOW-- 221 00:08:17,148 --> 00:08:19,113 - HAVE YOU EVER TASTED A SHEPHERD'S CROOK? 222 00:08:19,177 --> 00:08:20,972 - I DON'T KNOW. IS IT WHAT YOU EXPECTED? 223 00:08:21,085 --> 00:08:23,546 - I FEEL LIKE-- DWIGHT IS HOLDING A CANDLE 224 00:08:23,590 --> 00:08:26,244 AND READING A POEM. 225 00:08:26,858 --> 00:08:28,960 - SO HAPPY RIGHT NOW. 226 00:08:29,813 --> 00:08:34,209 - [speaking German] 227 00:08:34,252 --> 00:08:35,558 WAIT, WHAT IS THAT I HEAR? 228 00:08:35,602 --> 00:08:37,212 IS SOMEONE ON THE ROOF? 229 00:08:37,255 --> 00:08:39,127 HOW STRANGE. 230 00:08:39,170 --> 00:08:41,999 EXCUSE ME. I HAVE TO RUN TO MY CAR 231 00:08:42,043 --> 00:08:44,349 TO TAKE A DUMP. 232 00:08:46,747 --> 00:08:48,702 - I WISH MY CAR HAD A BATHROOM. 233 00:08:49,345 --> 00:08:50,545 - "LET HEINRICH PLANT THE DETONATORS 234 00:08:50,638 --> 00:08:52,266 "AND THEO PREPARE THE VAULT. 235 00:08:52,329 --> 00:08:54,561 AFTER THAT--" - EH. THAT WASN'T THE LINE. 236 00:08:54,675 --> 00:08:55,932 I'M SORRY ,PETE. 237 00:08:56,055 --> 00:08:58,006 - THAT IS TRANSCRIBED BY SOME FAN. 238 00:08:58,079 --> 00:08:59,423 THEY MAKE MISTAKES. 239 00:08:59,477 --> 00:09:01,974 - I DON'T KNOW. THIS LOOKS PRETTY LEGIT. 240 00:09:02,168 --> 00:09:03,351 [cell phone chimes] 241 00:09:03,424 --> 00:09:06,654 OH, MY GOSH. I JUST GOT AN EMAIL FROM ANDY. 242 00:09:06,817 --> 00:09:08,339 THAT MEANS THEY HIT LAND. 243 00:09:08,422 --> 00:09:10,905 "WHAT UP, SHORTY? WE GOT IN LAST NIGHT, 244 00:09:10,948 --> 00:09:13,553 "SOLD THE BOAT, WENT OUT, GOT DRUNK, 245 00:09:14,566 --> 00:09:17,363 "SAW LIFE OF PI, GOT SUPER DEPRESSED 246 00:09:17,466 --> 00:09:19,597 "AND INTROSPECTIVE. 247 00:09:19,641 --> 00:09:21,643 "GONNA HANG OUT HERE A WHILE. 248 00:09:22,386 --> 00:09:24,121 "MAYBE A COUPLE OF WEEKS. 249 00:09:24,265 --> 00:09:26,604 "FIGURE THIS WHOLE LIFE THING OUT. 250 00:09:27,018 --> 00:09:29,956 MAYBE SEE HOBBIT. LATES." 251 00:09:32,623 --> 00:09:34,712 - HEY. EVERYTHING OKAY? 252 00:09:35,446 --> 00:09:36,888 - SO WHAT COMES NEXT? 253 00:09:37,532 --> 00:09:39,995 - RIGHT, UM, OKAY. 254 00:09:40,849 --> 00:09:43,591 SO HE SAYS, "AFTER WE CALL THE POLICE, 255 00:09:43,634 --> 00:09:45,636 THEY'LL WASTE HOURS TRYING TO NEGOTIATE--" 256 00:09:45,680 --> 00:09:47,073 - WE SHOULD JUST WATCH THE MOVIE. 257 00:09:47,116 --> 00:09:48,321 THAT MAKES MUCH MORE SENSE. 258 00:09:48,375 --> 00:09:50,641 - OR WE CAN JUST SIT AND TALK, THOUGH. 259 00:09:50,725 --> 00:09:51,799 - NO. NO MORE TALKING. 260 00:09:51,853 --> 00:09:52,944 IT'S MOVIE TIME. 261 00:09:53,007 --> 00:09:55,856 - I MEAN, ARE YOU SURE... 262 00:09:56,689 --> 00:09:59,131 YEAH, I PROBABLY HAVE A COPY OR TWO IN MY CAR. 263 00:09:59,225 --> 00:10:00,768 - OH, GREAT. GREAT! 264 00:10:00,862 --> 00:10:02,301 SO WE'RE WATCHING DIE HARD,NOW. 265 00:10:02,375 --> 00:10:04,146 GOOD! THIS IS A GOOD PLAN. 266 00:10:04,200 --> 00:10:05,300 - OKAY. 267 00:10:06,383 --> 00:10:07,986 - HERE'S THE THING ABOUT MOONLIGHT. 268 00:10:08,119 --> 00:10:09,877 IT'S NOT SUNLIGHT. 269 00:10:10,321 --> 00:10:12,220 - [mouth full] I LOVE THIS HOG MAMA. 270 00:10:12,263 --> 00:10:14,113 - DWIGHT SAID IT'S "HOG MAW." 271 00:10:14,406 --> 00:10:16,558 - [chokes] - WHAT IS MAW? 272 00:10:16,651 --> 00:10:18,400 - IT'S THE LINING OF THE STOMACH OF-- 273 00:10:18,443 --> 00:10:19,804 - [cackling] OHH... 274 00:10:19,888 --> 00:10:21,726 [German accent] JUDGMENT IS NIGH, 275 00:10:21,770 --> 00:10:24,036 FOR THE BELSNICKEL ISTI! 276 00:10:24,190 --> 00:10:26,122 - YES, HE IS FINALLY NIGH. 277 00:10:26,505 --> 00:10:28,014 - I AM NIGH! 278 00:10:28,197 --> 00:10:30,712 EVERY YEAR, MY GRANDFATHER WOULD DRESS UP AS BELSNICKEL 279 00:10:30,755 --> 00:10:31,873 AT CHRISTMAS. 280 00:10:31,946 --> 00:10:35,021 HE WAS...OKAY AT IT. 281 00:10:35,064 --> 00:10:37,110 I AM GREAT. 282 00:10:37,153 --> 00:10:39,541 YOU KNOW HOW THEY SAY SOME PEOPLE WERE BORN TO BE BAD? 283 00:10:39,605 --> 00:10:42,767 WELL, I WAS BORN TO BE BELSNICKEL. 284 00:10:42,811 --> 00:10:44,769 OHH, BELSNICKEL 285 00:10:44,813 --> 00:10:46,815 HAS TRAVELED FROM DISTANT LANDS 286 00:10:46,858 --> 00:10:49,171 TO DISCOVER HOW ALL THE BOYS AND THE GIRLS 287 00:10:49,245 --> 00:10:51,440 HAVE BEEN BEHAVING THIS LAST YEAR. 288 00:10:51,534 --> 00:10:54,562 WHOO HOO HOO HOO HOO! OHH...TOO MUCH STRUDEL. 289 00:10:54,605 --> 00:10:57,195 - SO HE'S KIND OF LIKE SANTA, EXCEPT DIRTY AND WORSE. 290 00:10:57,299 --> 00:10:59,610 - NO, MUCH BETTER-- NO ONE FEARS SANTA 291 00:10:59,654 --> 00:11:01,482 THE WAY THEY FEAR BELSNICKEL. 292 00:11:01,525 --> 00:11:03,005 - WOW. IT'S MY FAVORITE PART OF CHRISTMAS. 293 00:11:03,049 --> 00:11:04,246 THE AUTHORITY. 294 00:11:04,290 --> 00:11:06,198 - AND THE FEAR. - YES, EXACTLY! 295 00:11:06,262 --> 00:11:08,513 - COME ON, DWIGHT, YOU'RE MAKING THIS UP. 296 00:11:08,577 --> 00:11:10,012 - NO... - THIS IS A REAL THING. 297 00:11:10,056 --> 00:11:12,710 "BELSNICKEL IS A CROTCHETY, FUR-CLAD GIFT GIVER 298 00:11:12,754 --> 00:11:15,333 "RELATED TO OTHER COMPANIONS OF ST. NICHOLAS 299 00:11:15,416 --> 00:11:17,222 IN THE FOLKLORE OF SOUTHWESTERN GERMANY." 300 00:11:17,316 --> 00:11:18,478 - AH. - WOW. 301 00:11:18,571 --> 00:11:19,761 - OKAY, GREAT. SERIOUSLY, YOU GUYS? 302 00:11:19,804 --> 00:11:21,589 NOW YOU BELIEVE IN DWIGHT'S TRADITIONS, 303 00:11:21,632 --> 00:11:24,298 WHEN SOME DEMOCRAT LOOKS IT UP ON WIKIPEDIA? 304 00:11:24,411 --> 00:11:28,683 - "HIS PARTNER, ZWARTE PIET, OR BLACK PETER, A SLAVE BOY, 305 00:11:28,726 --> 00:11:32,432 OFTEN PORTRAYED IN COLORFUL PANTALOONS AND BLACKFACE." 306 00:11:32,505 --> 00:11:35,037 - UH-UH. NO, DWIGHT. NO. 307 00:11:35,081 --> 00:11:36,734 - OH, COME ON. 308 00:11:36,778 --> 00:11:38,954 WE DON'T BLINDLY STICK TO EVERY OUTMODED ASPECT 309 00:11:38,998 --> 00:11:40,506 OF OUR TRADITIONS. 310 00:11:40,590 --> 00:11:43,442 COME ON, GET WITH THE SPIRIT OF IT, YOU GUYS. 311 00:11:46,836 --> 00:11:48,359 [phone blips] 312 00:11:48,708 --> 00:11:50,318 [suspenseful music] 313 00:11:50,361 --> 00:11:51,667 - OKAY, KARL WAS ACTUALLY 314 00:11:51,711 --> 00:11:53,713 A BALLET DANCER IN REAL LIFE. 315 00:11:53,756 --> 00:11:55,889 ISN'T THAT CRAZY? - MM. [chuckles] 316 00:11:58,326 --> 00:12:00,589 - JIM, THAT GUY. 317 00:12:00,632 --> 00:12:01,764 [scoffs] 318 00:12:01,808 --> 00:12:03,592 YOU GOTTA STICK TO YOUR WORD! 319 00:12:03,635 --> 00:12:05,812 LIKE WHEN YOU SAY SOMETHING TO A BUDDY, 320 00:12:05,855 --> 00:12:08,336 A REAL BUDDY... 321 00:12:08,379 --> 00:12:10,251 WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO, LIE? 322 00:12:10,294 --> 00:12:11,339 TO YOUR BUDDY? 323 00:12:11,382 --> 00:12:13,341 [sighs] IT'S AWFUL. 324 00:12:13,384 --> 00:12:15,386 - TAKE A BOWL AND PASS IT DOWN. 325 00:12:15,430 --> 00:12:17,258 - THANK YOU, DWIGHT. THESE ARE NICE. 326 00:12:17,301 --> 00:12:18,738 - NO, THESE ARE GIFT BOWLS. 327 00:12:18,781 --> 00:12:20,391 WHEN YOU RECEIVE A GIFT, IT WILL GO IN THE BOWL, 328 00:12:20,609 --> 00:12:22,176 BUT THE BOWLS MUST BE RETURNED AT THE END. 329 00:12:22,219 --> 00:12:23,517 THEY'RE A SET. 330 00:12:23,620 --> 00:12:25,832 NOW, HOLD YOUR BOWLS FORWARD. 331 00:12:25,875 --> 00:12:29,531 THE BELSNICKEL WILL DECIDE IF YOU ARE IMPISH 332 00:12:29,574 --> 00:12:31,272 OR ADMIRABLE. 333 00:12:31,315 --> 00:12:32,882 - OH, IT'S LIKE NAUGHTY OR NICE. 334 00:12:32,926 --> 00:12:35,276 - NO, IMPISH OR ADMIRABLE. 335 00:12:35,319 --> 00:12:36,712 - QUICK QUESTION-- DO YOU JUST DECIDE 336 00:12:36,756 --> 00:12:38,366 WHO GETS WHAT IN THE MOMENT, OR DID YOU MAKE A LIST? 337 00:12:39,193 --> 00:12:40,847 - I DECIDED EARLIER. - OH. NICE. 338 00:12:40,890 --> 00:12:43,327 DID YOU CHECK THAT LIST? - OF COURSE I CHECKED IT. 339 00:12:43,371 --> 00:12:44,938 - BUT MORE THAN ONCE? 'CAUSE YOUCOULD HAVE MADE A MISTAKE. 340 00:12:44,981 --> 00:12:46,853 - I CHECKED IT MORE THAN ONCE. - OKAY, SO YOU MADE A LIST, 341 00:12:46,896 --> 00:12:48,942 YOU CHECKED IT TWICE, AND NOW YOU'RE GONNA FIND OUT WHO'S-- 342 00:12:48,985 --> 00:12:51,422 - IMPISH OR ADMIRABLE. - DAMN. 343 00:12:51,466 --> 00:12:53,598 - PHYLLIS VANCE! CHEER OR FEAR? 344 00:12:53,642 --> 00:12:55,164 BELSNICKEL IS HERE. 345 00:12:55,257 --> 00:12:58,473 I JUDGE YOUR YEAR AS... 346 00:12:58,516 --> 00:13:01,519 ADMIRABLE. 347 00:13:01,563 --> 00:13:03,043 THERE YOU ARE. 348 00:13:03,086 --> 00:13:04,479 - OH. WHAT ARE THESE? 349 00:13:04,657 --> 00:13:06,611 - IT'S A SET OF RUBBER GASKETS FOR CANNING JARS. 350 00:13:07,075 --> 00:13:09,440 - I'D RATHER HAVE THE BOWL. - YOU CAN'T HAVE THE BOWL! 351 00:13:09,484 --> 00:13:11,399 OSCAR MARTINEZ, 352 00:13:11,442 --> 00:13:13,575 CHEER OR FEAR? 353 00:13:13,618 --> 00:13:14,750 BELSNICKEL IS HERE. 354 00:13:14,794 --> 00:13:17,070 I JUDGE YOUR YEAR... 355 00:13:18,743 --> 00:13:20,011 AS IMPISH! 356 00:13:20,408 --> 00:13:22,410 - OW! YOU HIT PEOPLE WITH THAT THING? 357 00:13:22,453 --> 00:13:23,498 - NO, I'M CARRYING AROUND THE STICK 358 00:13:23,541 --> 00:13:24,934 IN ORDER TO LOOK COOL. 359 00:13:24,978 --> 00:13:26,327 FOR THE KINDER. 360 00:13:26,370 --> 00:13:28,416 - OOH. - MOUSE TRAP. 361 00:13:28,429 --> 00:13:29,809 - IN A HEAD -TO-HEAD CONTEST, 362 00:13:29,852 --> 00:13:32,768 PEOPLE PREFER BELSNICKEL OVER SANTA EVERY TIME. 363 00:13:32,812 --> 00:13:34,161 THERE AREN'T AS MANY SONGS ABOUT HIM, 364 00:13:34,204 --> 00:13:36,772 BUT I ATTRIBUTE THAT MORE TO RHYMING DIFFICULTIES. 365 00:13:36,816 --> 00:13:38,426 MY BROTHER AND I WROTE ONE ONCE. 366 00:13:38,469 --> 00:13:40,471 IT WAS ABOUT A FICKLE PICKLE SALESMAN 367 00:13:40,515 --> 00:13:42,038 WHO WOULD TICKLE YOU FOR A NICKEL. 368 00:13:43,910 --> 00:13:45,607 - [giggling] - OH, YOU KNOW WHAT? 369 00:13:45,650 --> 00:13:47,435 I GOTTA GO. - STOP GIGGLING. 370 00:13:47,478 --> 00:13:48,784 - OH, REALLY? ALREADY? 371 00:13:48,828 --> 00:13:49,872 - YEAH, IT'S ALL RIGHT. - IT'S A PUNISHMENT. 372 00:13:49,916 --> 00:13:52,614 HEY, WHERE ARE YOU GOING? - I HAVE TO GO TO PHILLY. 373 00:13:52,657 --> 00:13:53,963 BUT THIS WAS AMAZING. 374 00:13:54,007 --> 00:13:55,573 OKAY? - BUT YOU WORK TOMORROW. 375 00:13:55,617 --> 00:13:56,661 - YEAH, I KNOW, I'D JUST LIKE TO SETTLE IN 376 00:13:56,705 --> 00:13:57,749 AND GET A GOOD NIGHT'S SLEEP. 377 00:13:57,793 --> 00:13:59,221 - BUT WE WERE GONNA BREAK THE PIG RIB. 378 00:13:59,304 --> 00:14:00,883 - OHH. - REMEMBER? 379 00:14:00,927 --> 00:14:03,538 - THAT'S RIGHT. 380 00:14:03,581 --> 00:14:05,583 - NO MATTER! BELSNICKEL CARES NOT 381 00:14:05,627 --> 00:14:07,890 ABOUT THIS-- OFF WITH YOU! 382 00:14:07,934 --> 00:14:09,631 - PERFECT. MERRY CHRISTMAS, EVERYBODY. 383 00:14:09,674 --> 00:14:11,328 - WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT! 384 00:14:11,372 --> 00:14:12,808 DON'T YOU WANT TO KNOW YOUR PRESENT? 385 00:14:12,852 --> 00:14:14,766 - YOU KNOW WHAT? YEAH. HAVE AT IT. 386 00:14:14,810 --> 00:14:17,682 - JIM HALPERT, CHEER OR FEAR? 387 00:14:17,726 --> 00:14:19,641 BELSNICKEL IS HERE. 388 00:14:19,684 --> 00:14:21,773 I JUDGE YOUR YEAR AS IMPISH. 389 00:14:21,817 --> 00:14:23,558 - OHH! ARE YOU NUTS? 390 00:14:23,601 --> 00:14:24,820 - I JUDGE YOU IMPISH! - OW! OW! 391 00:14:24,864 --> 00:14:25,952 OKAY, THAT IS THREE, 392 00:14:25,995 --> 00:14:27,475 AND YOU DIDN'T HIT ANYBODY THAT HARD. 393 00:14:27,518 --> 00:14:28,693 - THEY'RE NOT ABANDONING THE PARTY. 394 00:14:28,737 --> 00:14:30,086 - JUST--JUST--HEY! 395 00:14:30,130 --> 00:14:31,827 - [shouts indistinctly] - THAT'S ENOUGH, I'M DONE! 396 00:14:31,871 --> 00:14:33,655 OKAY? AGH! - IMPISH! 397 00:14:33,698 --> 00:14:35,526 - AAH! OW! 398 00:14:35,570 --> 00:14:38,660 - BELSNICKEL, I GOTTA RUN OUT EARLY TOO. 399 00:14:38,703 --> 00:14:41,358 [all groan] 400 00:14:41,402 --> 00:14:44,448 - OH... WHAT WASTHAT? 401 00:14:44,492 --> 00:14:48,017 NOW I'M GONNA BE ALL WHIPPED FOR MY FIRST DAY AT WORK. 402 00:14:48,501 --> 00:14:49,849 GOD. 403 00:14:51,673 --> 00:14:53,544 ONE SECOND. 404 00:14:53,588 --> 00:14:55,459 OH... - WELL... 405 00:14:55,943 --> 00:14:57,505 THIS IS IT. 406 00:14:57,548 --> 00:14:59,594 - I'M PROBABLY NEVER GONNA SEE YOU AGAIN. 407 00:14:59,637 --> 00:15:01,857 - SHUT UP. I'M TRYING TO BE SERIOUS. 408 00:15:01,901 --> 00:15:03,609 - OKAY, SORRY, SORRY. 409 00:15:05,513 --> 00:15:07,645 - I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS IS ACTUALLY HAPPENING. 410 00:15:07,689 --> 00:15:09,647 - LISTEN, THANK YOU SO MUCH 411 00:15:09,691 --> 00:15:11,127 FOR PUTTING THAT ALL TOGETHER. 412 00:15:11,171 --> 00:15:13,913 THAT WAS THE PERFECT LAST CHRISTMAS PARTY. 413 00:15:16,741 --> 00:15:18,700 ALL RIGHT, WISH ME LUCK? 414 00:15:18,743 --> 00:15:20,615 - OKAY. 415 00:15:20,658 --> 00:15:22,420 GOOD LUCK. YOU'RE GONNA BE GREAT. 416 00:15:22,484 --> 00:15:23,844 - I'LL CALL YOU WHEN I GET IN. 417 00:15:23,908 --> 00:15:25,707 - OKAY. - ALL RIGHT. 418 00:15:25,750 --> 00:15:27,665 - LOVE YOU. - LOVE YOU. 419 00:15:36,587 --> 00:15:39,721 [laughter, indistinct chatter] 420 00:15:55,693 --> 00:15:57,695 [elevator bell dings] 421 00:15:57,739 --> 00:15:59,523 - WHAT'S GOING ON? - PARTY'S OVER. 422 00:15:59,567 --> 00:16:03,745 YOU QUIT ON CHRISTMAS, CHRISTMAS QUITS ON YOU. 423 00:16:03,788 --> 00:16:05,616 AND GUESS WHAT, KIDS. 424 00:16:05,660 --> 00:16:09,751 BELSNICKEL ISN'T REAL. IT'S ME, DWIGHT! 425 00:16:13,537 --> 00:16:16,540 - WE FOUND SOME OLD DECORATIONSIN THE WAREHOUSE. 426 00:16:16,584 --> 00:16:19,369 OSCAR RAN TO THE STORE FOR SOME FOOD AND DRINK, 427 00:16:19,413 --> 00:16:21,458 AND I DIPPED INTO MY STASH OF EGGNOG. 428 00:16:21,502 --> 00:16:23,243 I GUESS THEY NEEDED ME AFTER ALL. 429 00:16:23,286 --> 00:16:25,158 IT'S LIKE IN IT'S A WONDERFUL LIFE 430 00:16:25,201 --> 00:16:27,377 WHEN JIMMY STEWART REALIZES THAT ALL THOSE PEOPLE 431 00:16:27,421 --> 00:16:29,423 AT THE BUILDING AND LOAN WERE JUST JERKS, 432 00:16:29,466 --> 00:16:31,207 AND HE WAS THE REAL HERO. 433 00:16:31,251 --> 00:16:34,950 - KEVIN. KEVIN! AAAH. STOP IT! 434 00:16:34,994 --> 00:16:37,344 - OH, IT SOUNDS LIKE THE PARTY'S 435 00:16:37,387 --> 00:16:39,433 STARTING UP OUT THERE. - YEAH. 436 00:16:39,476 --> 00:16:43,567 SO ANYWAY, THE ENTIRE JURY WANTS ME TO VOTE GUILTY. 437 00:16:43,611 --> 00:16:46,005 BUT THEN I DID A LITTLE RESEARCH OF MY OWN, 438 00:16:46,048 --> 00:16:48,094 AND FORGET EVERYTHING YOU THOUGHT YOU KNEW 439 00:16:48,137 --> 00:16:49,573 ABOUT FINGERPRINTING. 440 00:16:49,617 --> 00:16:51,532 - MEREDITH'S A LITTLE CUTE. 441 00:16:51,575 --> 00:16:54,448 I'M JUST REALIZING. 442 00:16:54,491 --> 00:16:56,580 SHE GOT, LIKE, A EMMA STONE THING. 443 00:16:56,624 --> 00:16:59,583 [We Wish You a Merry Christmas playing] 444 00:16:59,627 --> 00:17:01,455 ♪ 445 00:17:01,948 --> 00:17:04,002 BOO! 446 00:17:17,166 --> 00:17:20,256 - FOR WHAT IT'S WORTH, I LIKED YOUR PARTY BETTER. 447 00:17:20,300 --> 00:17:21,649 - EVERYONE THOUGHT THE FOOD WAS GROSS, 448 00:17:21,692 --> 00:17:25,301 AND THAT BELSNICKEL WAS SOME DARKLY EROTIC FREAK. 449 00:17:26,496 --> 00:17:28,654 - I DON'T THINK ANYONE THOUGHT THAT. 450 00:17:29,147 --> 00:17:31,050 - JIM COULDN'T EVEN STAY TILL THE END OF THE PARTY. 451 00:17:31,093 --> 00:17:33,139 - WELL, THAT DIDN'T HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH YOU. 452 00:17:33,182 --> 00:17:35,402 - I DON'T CARE. GUESS HOW MUCH I CARE 453 00:17:35,445 --> 00:17:37,099 ON A SCALE OF ONE TO TEN. - ZERO. 454 00:17:37,143 --> 00:17:38,666 - DAMN IT! 455 00:17:48,231 --> 00:17:51,113 - I'M GONNA TELL JIM TO GO [bleep] HIMSELF. 456 00:17:51,157 --> 00:17:54,116 - [groaning] 457 00:17:55,400 --> 00:17:57,641 - DO YOU THINK ANDY WOULD EVER JUMP OFF AN EXPLODING BUILDING 458 00:17:57,685 --> 00:18:00,688 TIED TO A HOSE FOR ME? 459 00:18:01,731 --> 00:18:04,648 - YEAH. DEFINITELY. 460 00:18:04,692 --> 00:18:08,043 [explosions, screams on TV] 461 00:18:08,087 --> 00:18:10,741 - [sobs] 462 00:18:10,785 --> 00:18:12,656 - HEY, WHAT'S-- 463 00:18:12,700 --> 00:18:15,224 OH, NO, COME HERE. HEY, HEY. 464 00:18:15,268 --> 00:18:17,678 COME ON, HUH? 465 00:18:22,869 --> 00:18:24,712 - I'M STILL ANDY'S GIRLFRIEND. 466 00:18:25,205 --> 00:18:27,715 - OH, YEAH, OF COURSE. I KNOW. 467 00:18:29,208 --> 00:18:31,204 - BUT YOU CAN LEAVE YOUR ARM. 468 00:18:36,680 --> 00:18:40,446 [overlapping chatter] 469 00:18:41,479 --> 00:18:43,296 - DWIGHT, WANT ME TO GET YOU SOME EGGNOG? 470 00:18:43,339 --> 00:18:45,863 - NO, THANKS. I'LL JUST HAVE ANOTHER DUMATRIL. 471 00:18:45,907 --> 00:18:48,692 JIM TAUGHT METHIS REALLY COOL WAY TO TAKE IT. 472 00:18:48,736 --> 00:18:51,521 YOU CRUSH IT INTO A POWDER, AND YOU SNORT IT UP YOUR BUTT. 473 00:18:51,565 --> 00:18:53,243 - YEP, I DID SAY THAT. 474 00:18:53,317 --> 00:18:54,872 - JIM! - WHAT'S GOING ON? 475 00:18:54,916 --> 00:18:56,265 WHERE'S THE BELSNICKEL? 476 00:18:56,309 --> 00:18:57,353 - OH-- 477 00:18:57,397 --> 00:19:00,748 OH, MY GOD! 478 00:19:00,791 --> 00:19:02,837 - WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 479 00:19:02,880 --> 00:19:04,708 LAST TIME I SAW YOU, YOU WEREWHIPPING ME OUT OF THE BUILDING. 480 00:19:04,752 --> 00:19:06,841 - SHH. LET'S NOT SPEAK OF THAT. 481 00:19:06,884 --> 00:19:08,712 THE PIG RIB. 482 00:19:08,756 --> 00:19:10,540 WE COULD TOTALLY BREAK THE PIG RIB! 483 00:19:10,584 --> 00:19:13,543 I'M GONNA DIG IT OUT OF THE TRASH. 484 00:19:14,747 --> 00:19:16,729 - WHAT HAPPENED? DID YOU MISS YOUR BUS? 485 00:19:16,842 --> 00:19:19,136 - NO. I JUST MISSED MY WIFE. 486 00:19:20,724 --> 00:19:22,215 - I FOUND IT! 487 00:19:22,269 --> 00:19:23,597 AND I FOUND OUT 488 00:19:23,640 --> 00:19:25,652 THAT THERE'S A BUS AT 5:00 A.M. 489 00:19:25,716 --> 00:19:29,429 [all cheering and chanting] 490 00:19:34,782 --> 00:19:35,913 - OH! 491 00:19:35,957 --> 00:19:39,134 [all groan] 492 00:19:39,178 --> 00:19:41,223 - DAMN IT! 493 00:19:41,267 --> 00:19:44,705 JIM GOT THE BIGGER HALF. 494 00:19:44,748 --> 00:19:46,430 - BACK FOR MORE, HUH? 495 00:19:46,513 --> 00:19:49,753 - OOH, NOG IT. LET ME GET SOME NOG. 496 00:19:49,797 --> 00:19:52,756 [indistinct chatter] 497 00:19:52,800 --> 00:19:55,716 - THANKS, PHYLLIS. WHERE'S ANDY? 498 00:19:55,759 --> 00:19:58,849 - YOU! - OH, HEY, MAN. 499 00:19:58,893 --> 00:20:00,286 OH, YOU KNOW WHAT? BEFORE I FORGET AGAIN, 500 00:20:00,329 --> 00:20:02,244 I TALKED TO THE GUYS ABOUT HIRING YOU. 501 00:20:02,288 --> 00:20:06,335 THEY'RE GONNA BRING YOU IN FOR AN INTERVIEW. 502 00:20:11,568 --> 00:20:13,008 - THAT'S GREAT. 503 00:20:13,222 --> 00:20:14,368 - RIGHT? 504 00:20:14,611 --> 00:20:16,867 - THANKS, MAN. - HEY, OF COURSE. 505 00:20:16,911 --> 00:20:19,914 - I SHALL COME BY AT YOUR CONVENIENCE. 506 00:20:19,957 --> 00:20:21,394 - THANK YOU, SIR. 507 00:20:21,437 --> 00:20:23,439 - WHOO! - GO GET 'EM. 508 00:20:23,483 --> 00:20:25,572 - OH! WHOA! [alarmed shouts] 509 00:20:27,313 --> 00:20:30,533 [alarmed shouts] 510 00:20:30,577 --> 00:20:32,492 - VERY IMPISH. 511 00:20:41,283 --> 00:20:44,330 - TWO DIMES, SEVEN NICKELS-- WELL, OKAY, 512 00:20:44,373 --> 00:20:45,635 NO, THAT DOESN'T ADD UP. 513 00:20:45,679 --> 00:20:48,447 IT WAS ONE QUARTER AND-- - SHH. 514 00:20:48,900 --> 00:20:50,471 - WHAT? I WAS JUST EXPLAINING-- 515 00:20:50,585 --> 00:20:52,163 - SHH. 516 00:20:52,207 --> 00:20:53,643 - WHY WOULDN'T IT-- - SHH. 517 00:20:53,687 --> 00:20:58,215 - BUT WHY? - NO...MORE...TALKING. 518 00:20:59,388 --> 00:21:01,956 - ARE YOU GONNA KISS ME? 519 00:21:01,999 --> 00:21:03,697 - YES.