1 00:00:09,427 --> 00:00:12,263 我在重新考慮我打包的那件藍色襯衫 2 00:00:12,888 --> 00:00:14,348 藍色條紋那件 3 00:00:15,099 --> 00:00:16,934 我想應該沒問題,那是藍色襯衫 4 00:00:17,309 --> 00:00:19,270 對,但我懷疑會不會太藍了 5 00:00:19,812 --> 00:00:22,857 藍色會不會變成我的個人態度? 6 00:00:24,734 --> 00:00:27,403 我今天要提早離開去費城 7 00:00:28,195 --> 00:00:31,198 因為明天是我新工作第一天上班 8 00:00:32,116 --> 00:00:36,746 所以我打算五點抵達 大約六點入住旅館 9 00:00:36,829 --> 00:00:40,624 可以一整晚睡不著覺和緊張地嘔吐 10 00:00:41,333 --> 00:00:43,002 不好意思!我在工作 11 00:00:43,085 --> 00:00:46,714 有些人才不管乎吉姆在費什麼地方的新運動工作 12 00:00:46,922 --> 00:00:49,425 所以你知道我的工作跟運動有關 13 00:00:49,508 --> 00:00:52,094 但你不知道費城這個字的結尾? 14 00:00:52,178 --> 00:00:55,431 費城這個字,前半是希臘文的“愛” 15 00:00:55,514 --> 00:00:58,809 後半的意思是阿道夫希特勒 “愛阿道夫的城市” 16 00:00:58,934 --> 00:01:00,603 祝你在新公司好運 17 00:01:00,936 --> 00:01:02,646 別穿那件藍條紋襯衫 18 00:01:02,730 --> 00:01:04,732 穿那件你的脖子看起來像舊拖把把手 19 00:01:09,487 --> 00:01:11,822 嘿,各位,聖誕派對就是今天了 20 00:01:11,906 --> 00:01:13,491 大家聖誕快樂! 21 00:01:13,783 --> 00:01:15,075 -不 -是嗎? 22 00:01:15,159 --> 00:01:18,412 這裡寫著“X誕派對” 但我想我們都知道這個符號的意思 23 00:01:18,496 --> 00:01:21,123 所以我們今年不辦聖誕派對嗎? 24 00:01:21,415 --> 00:01:23,292 安吉拉,妳怎麼可以這樣對我們? 25 00:01:23,375 --> 00:01:25,127 最好是啦,講得好像是我的責任 26 00:01:25,211 --> 00:01:27,129 因為我負責派對籌劃委員會 27 00:01:27,213 --> 00:01:28,506 妳是負責… 28 00:01:28,589 --> 00:01:30,674 大家都忘記的事不要怪我! 29 00:01:30,758 --> 00:01:33,469 對呀,大家都忘記的事不要怪她! 30 00:01:33,552 --> 00:01:37,097 我之前沒發現我常常贊同安吉拉的意見 31 00:01:37,181 --> 00:01:40,810 直到我跟她先生上床 她想把我膝蓋打碎之後 32 00:01:40,893 --> 00:01:42,937 她常提出許多有力的觀點 33 00:01:43,729 --> 00:01:46,232 我知道派對是今天,但沒人叫我主辦 34 00:01:46,315 --> 00:01:47,775 所以我就沒辦了 35 00:01:48,025 --> 00:01:49,193 結果變成這樣挺妙的吧 36 00:01:49,276 --> 00:01:52,363 我們每天拼命工作 37 00:01:52,446 --> 00:01:53,739 這麼賣命 38 00:01:53,823 --> 00:01:55,282 聖誕派對是我們應得的 39 00:01:55,366 --> 00:01:59,245 那我們就買一點酒和迷你杯子蛋糕如何? 40 00:01:59,328 --> 00:02:00,830 迷你杯子蛋糕? 41 00:02:00,913 --> 00:02:03,415 就是正常杯子蛋糕的迷你版嗎? 42 00:02:03,541 --> 00:02:06,168 杯子蛋糕已經是蛋糕的迷你版了 43 00:02:06,252 --> 00:02:08,754 老實說,你們這些人到底夠了沒? 44 00:02:08,838 --> 00:02:11,340 來辦個正宗費城荷式聖誕如何? 45 00:02:11,715 --> 00:02:14,718 喝些德式熱甜酒,享用德式滷兔肉 46 00:02:15,594 --> 00:02:20,391 享受聖尼古拉斯的德國鄉村夥伴 貝斯尼可的陪伴 47 00:02:20,474 --> 00:02:23,310 好!就是這個! 48 00:02:23,394 --> 00:02:25,604 一定要這麼辦,大家都同意嗎? 49 00:02:25,855 --> 00:02:26,897 -不要! -不要 50 00:02:26,981 --> 00:02:28,023 -決定了,對吧? -不要 51 00:02:28,107 --> 00:02:29,775 我想要熱帶聖誕 52 00:02:29,859 --> 00:02:31,068 上空聖誕! 53 00:02:31,151 --> 00:02:32,278 小菜瑞士小姐! 54 00:02:33,654 --> 00:02:37,783 西班牙小菜加上瑞士小姐熱可可 有什麼難懂的? 55 00:02:38,158 --> 00:02:42,329 是誰提議舉辦正宗費城荷式聖誕的? 56 00:02:42,413 --> 00:02:44,206 我想是某個很受歡迎的人 57 00:02:44,290 --> 00:02:45,583 -我們已經否決了 -不要! 58 00:02:45,666 --> 00:02:46,667 -太怪了 -不要 59 00:02:46,834 --> 00:02:49,545 這是我和家人慶祝費城荷式聖誕 60 00:02:49,628 --> 00:02:51,297 1982年的農場 61 00:02:51,380 --> 00:02:54,300 這是我和我弟弟賈伯 把慶祝用的豬肋骨折斷 62 00:02:54,925 --> 00:02:56,927 他後來就不回家慶祝聖誕節了 63 00:02:57,595 --> 00:03:00,514 棕色濾鏡來自我手機上的應用程式 64 00:03:00,598 --> 00:03:02,766 這是駭客任務風格的同一張照片 65 00:03:04,810 --> 00:03:06,562 我不懂大家的困惑 66 00:03:06,645 --> 00:03:08,814 只有我想試德式滷兔肉 67 00:03:08,898 --> 00:03:11,483 德式熱甜酒,並見見這個貝斯尼可嗎? 68 00:03:12,610 --> 00:03:15,613 派對籌劃委員會,立刻召開緊急會議 69 00:03:18,657 --> 00:03:20,576 -讓我來 -太好了 70 00:03:20,659 --> 00:03:23,245 我只希望德國恐怖份子不會主導這個聖誕派對 71 00:03:23,495 --> 00:03:25,581 逼我像約翰麥克連一樣追殺他們 72 00:03:25,664 --> 00:03:28,125 德國恐怖份子?這麼明確真奇怪 73 00:03:28,292 --> 00:03:30,544 我想…我想你想講的是約翰麥凱恩 74 00:03:31,253 --> 00:03:33,339 -是《終極警探》裡的 -我沒看過 75 00:03:33,923 --> 00:03:35,758 -妳沒看過《終極警探》? -沒有 76 00:03:35,841 --> 00:03:39,261 -妳為什麼沒看過《終極警探》? -不知道!我就是沒看過! 77 00:03:39,345 --> 00:03:41,847 拜託,妳肯定至少看過一些 78 00:03:41,931 --> 00:03:42,973 沒有 79 00:03:43,057 --> 00:03:47,686 “我現在有機關槍,哈” 80 00:03:47,853 --> 00:03:51,106 “到海邊來,我們聚一聚,笑一笑” 81 00:03:51,190 --> 00:03:53,400 這些我都不懂 82 00:03:53,484 --> 00:03:56,946 他把槍從背上拿起來的時候說 83 00:03:57,029 --> 00:03:58,489 “王八蛋中大獎…” 84 00:03:58,572 --> 00:04:00,658 其實他不是在那裡講的 85 00:04:00,741 --> 00:04:03,702 是之前講的,他跟漢斯在電台上 86 00:04:05,204 --> 00:04:07,498 對,你說得對,抱歉 87 00:04:08,040 --> 00:04:09,917 -沒關係啦,大哥 -不行 88 00:04:10,000 --> 00:04:11,418 -常見的錯誤 -不,不可以 89 00:04:11,961 --> 00:04:13,337 宅男! 90 00:04:13,420 --> 00:04:15,172 你會背電影的每一句台詞嗎? 91 00:04:15,422 --> 00:04:17,132 我哥挑戰我把它背下來 92 00:04:17,257 --> 00:04:19,760 我就背了,而且我很愛 93 00:04:20,344 --> 00:04:21,553 好,講來聽聽 94 00:04:22,721 --> 00:04:24,431 -聽什麼? -《終極警探》 95 00:04:24,515 --> 00:04:26,475 全部的台詞,開始 96 00:04:26,642 --> 00:04:28,185 “你不喜歡飛行,對吧?” 97 00:04:28,268 --> 00:04:29,853 不要改變話題 98 00:04:30,020 --> 00:04:32,773 -沒有,這是… -電影開始了 99 00:04:32,940 --> 00:04:36,193 我們考慮和麥克施密特合作 進行一些他的慈善工作 100 00:04:36,402 --> 00:04:38,737 我愛費城,罪惡的城市 101 00:04:41,281 --> 00:04:44,034 費城!好令人興奮 102 00:04:45,160 --> 00:04:47,246 你確定你旅行的東西都記得帶了嗎? 103 00:04:47,371 --> 00:04:51,166 -對,應該是 -再稍微想一下 104 00:04:51,291 --> 00:04:53,085 吉姆明天要去費城了 105 00:04:53,168 --> 00:04:56,213 他說要帶我一起去,不過是兩個月前講的 106 00:04:56,296 --> 00:04:58,799 之後我就沒聽說了 107 00:04:58,882 --> 00:05:01,010 他說過的,對吧? 108 00:05:01,802 --> 00:05:04,096 你可能還忘了什麼? 109 00:05:05,597 --> 00:05:07,516 東西、人? 110 00:05:08,684 --> 00:05:12,563 你們知道今年有誰無法去刺激的新創公司上班嗎? 111 00:05:12,646 --> 00:05:17,109 喬治霍華斯卡伯,據稱他就是斯克蘭頓勒喉者 112 00:05:17,526 --> 00:05:21,530 因為他為了可能不是他犯的事情正在坐牢 113 00:05:21,613 --> 00:05:23,741 不好意思,你說斯克蘭頓什麼? 114 00:05:23,949 --> 00:05:26,577 斯克蘭頓勒喉者,喬治霍華斯卡伯 115 00:05:26,660 --> 00:05:29,747 我沒告訴過妳幾年前我去當陪審團的事嗎? 116 00:05:29,872 --> 00:05:31,040 是什麼事? 117 00:05:31,123 --> 00:05:33,042 當然,如果你可以講的話 118 00:05:33,125 --> 00:05:38,005 -因為如果你不能透露,我理解的 -我可以,我可以講這件事 119 00:05:38,088 --> 00:05:39,423 明年聖誕節見啦 120 00:05:39,506 --> 00:05:41,175 我當然可以,請坐 121 00:05:41,258 --> 00:05:43,135 我會從頭開始講 122 00:05:43,218 --> 00:05:46,305 但我想我需要從更早開始講 123 00:05:46,472 --> 00:05:48,515 我們是派對籌劃委員會 124 00:05:48,682 --> 00:05:51,643 我們不是靠安全牌進到這裡的 125 00:05:51,810 --> 00:05:54,605 我們願意冒險,所以才進來 126 00:05:55,355 --> 00:06:00,486 沒錯,杜懷特的派對可能會很糟 127 00:06:02,071 --> 00:06:04,114 也可能不會 128 00:06:04,823 --> 00:06:06,784 可能會很棒 129 00:06:07,201 --> 00:06:08,660 如果很棒的話 130 00:06:12,873 --> 00:06:15,918 我想大家都心知肚明這對我們的意義 131 00:06:19,546 --> 00:06:21,924 -來辦吧 -很好!菲莉絲! 132 00:06:22,007 --> 00:06:25,052 不要,我不要把自己的名字跟這個派對掛勾 133 00:06:25,260 --> 00:06:27,137 那到底是什麼意思?妳的名字會出現在哪裡? 134 00:06:27,304 --> 00:06:29,389 拜託把我的名字全部拿掉 135 00:06:29,473 --> 00:06:31,100 把她的名字全部拿掉! 136 00:06:34,144 --> 00:06:36,647 除了安吉拉以外,派對籌劃委員會 137 00:06:36,897 --> 00:06:39,525 決定我們要舉辦 138 00:06:40,776 --> 00:06:42,027 杜懷特的聖誕節 139 00:06:42,111 --> 00:06:46,323 太好了!好棒! 140 00:06:46,615 --> 00:06:49,576 這是聖誕奇蹟!耶! 141 00:06:50,285 --> 00:06:51,286 -杜懷特? -是的 142 00:06:51,370 --> 00:06:53,831 有一條規定,你要嚴格遵守 143 00:06:54,206 --> 00:06:55,874 那就是… 144 00:06:56,750 --> 00:06:58,377 不會有任何規定 145 00:06:58,836 --> 00:07:00,671 妳從來沒有這麼酷過 146 00:07:02,339 --> 00:07:04,299 最棒的聖誕節 147 00:07:05,008 --> 00:07:06,885 -不客氣 -謝謝 148 00:07:12,266 --> 00:07:17,187 費城荷式聖誕正式開始! 149 00:07:17,771 --> 00:07:19,565 這是什麼東西?岩漿嗎? 150 00:07:19,898 --> 00:07:22,734 這是德式熱甜酒,又稱為熱香料酒 151 00:07:22,818 --> 00:07:25,237 曾經被用來消毒醫療器材 152 00:07:25,320 --> 00:07:27,531 有件軼聞趣事 153 00:07:27,614 --> 00:07:30,534 這是我出生時,用來協助我柔軟的頭顱 154 00:07:30,617 --> 00:07:32,578 穿過產道的同一支湯匙 155 00:07:32,786 --> 00:07:34,371 -請享用! -這是什麼? 156 00:07:34,746 --> 00:07:36,373 不要碰 157 00:07:37,875 --> 00:07:40,669 有人發現豬肚了!怎麼了? 158 00:07:40,794 --> 00:07:43,046 這是費城荷式特色菜,豬肚 159 00:07:43,130 --> 00:07:44,381 很美吧? 160 00:07:44,464 --> 00:07:47,342 我甚至不想在妳吃之前就告訴妳那是什麼做的 161 00:07:47,801 --> 00:07:49,136 我不要吃神秘的肉 162 00:07:49,219 --> 00:07:50,929 那是豬的胃裡面包了餡料 163 00:07:51,054 --> 00:07:53,390 吃完之後,我們可以折斷豬肋骨 164 00:07:53,473 --> 00:07:54,725 -等不及了 -好怪 165 00:07:55,100 --> 00:07:57,769 甜餅乾呢?卡拉ok機呢? 166 00:07:57,853 --> 00:08:00,063 這是樸實風格,梅雷迪思 167 00:08:00,147 --> 00:08:03,775 為了所有正當的理由慶祝聖誕節 168 00:08:04,026 --> 00:08:07,613 餅乾和玩具和甜點只會令人分心 169 00:08:07,696 --> 00:08:09,865 大部份的人根本不知道 170 00:08:09,948 --> 00:08:12,576 拐杖糖代表的是牧羊人的杖 171 00:08:12,659 --> 00:08:14,453 我保證它吃起來絕對不是薄荷口味 172 00:08:14,661 --> 00:08:16,038 吃起來像羊糞的味道 173 00:08:16,121 --> 00:08:18,874 -怎麼會有人知道… -你嚐過牧羊人的杖嗎? 174 00:08:19,374 --> 00:08:21,418 不曉得,這是妳期待的嗎? 175 00:08:21,543 --> 00:08:25,631 我覺得杜懷特好像拿著蠟燭正在唸詩 176 00:08:27,007 --> 00:08:28,717 此刻真的好開心 177 00:08:34,473 --> 00:08:37,476 等等,那是什麼聲音?有人在屋頂上嗎? 178 00:08:37,768 --> 00:08:39,228 好奇怪 179 00:08:40,103 --> 00:08:43,732 不好意思,我要趕到我的車上去上大號 180 00:08:46,944 --> 00:08:49,071 希望我的車也有廁所 181 00:08:49,529 --> 00:08:53,408 “讓亨瑞克放引信,讓席恩預備地窖,之後…” 182 00:08:54,201 --> 00:08:56,078 台詞錯了,抱歉,彼特 183 00:08:56,245 --> 00:08:59,623 這是某些粉絲抄寫的,他們會寫錯 184 00:08:59,706 --> 00:09:02,084 不曉得耶,這看起來挺像正版的 185 00:09:03,543 --> 00:09:05,128 我的天哪 186 00:09:05,212 --> 00:09:06,797 我剛收到安迪的電郵! 187 00:09:06,880 --> 00:09:08,340 代表他們降落了 188 00:09:08,674 --> 00:09:12,094 “小個子,都好嗎?我們昨晚抵達,把船賣了 189 00:09:12,302 --> 00:09:15,013 “出去玩,喝醉 190 00:09:15,097 --> 00:09:19,768 “看了《少年Pi的奇幻漂流》 變得超級憂鬱以及自省 191 00:09:19,851 --> 00:09:22,646 “會在這多待一陣子 192 00:09:22,729 --> 00:09:27,192 “或許幾星期,把人生這件事想清楚 193 00:09:27,276 --> 00:09:29,987 “可能會去看《哈比人》,再聊” 194 00:09:32,698 --> 00:09:34,533 還好嗎? 195 00:09:35,450 --> 00:09:36,827 接下來是什麼? 196 00:09:37,619 --> 00:09:40,747 對,好 197 00:09:40,998 --> 00:09:42,582 所以他說 198 00:09:42,666 --> 00:09:45,502 “我們通知警方之後,他們會浪費數小時 試著協商…” 199 00:09:45,627 --> 00:09:47,004 我們應該直接看電影 200 00:09:47,087 --> 00:09:48,297 這樣比較合理 201 00:09:48,463 --> 00:09:50,215 或者我們可以坐著聊天就好 202 00:09:50,465 --> 00:09:52,676 不,不要聊天了,該看電影了 203 00:09:52,968 --> 00:09:54,511 妳確定嗎? 204 00:09:56,930 --> 00:09:59,182 我車上應該有一兩部片子 205 00:09:59,266 --> 00:10:02,394 太好了,那我們現在來看《終極警探》 206 00:10:02,477 --> 00:10:04,146 很好!這個計畫不錯 207 00:10:04,229 --> 00:10:05,522 好吧 208 00:10:06,315 --> 00:10:09,651 月光就是這樣,它不是日光 209 00:10:10,527 --> 00:10:14,072 -我喜歡這個豬媽媽 -杜懷特說那是豬“肚” 210 00:10:15,282 --> 00:10:16,658 什麼是肚? 211 00:10:16,700 --> 00:10:18,702 胃部裡面那一層… 212 00:10:19,995 --> 00:10:23,999 最後的審判!我就是貝斯尼可! 213 00:10:24,082 --> 00:10:25,959 好!他終於來了 214 00:10:26,460 --> 00:10:28,003 我來了! 215 00:10:28,128 --> 00:10:31,757 每年聖誕節我爺爺都會打扮成貝斯尼可 216 00:10:31,840 --> 00:10:35,093 他演得還可以 217 00:10:35,177 --> 00:10:37,220 我很厲害 218 00:10:37,304 --> 00:10:39,473 你知道他們說有些人天生壞胚子嗎? 219 00:10:39,556 --> 00:10:42,517 我天生就是貝斯尼可 220 00:10:43,268 --> 00:10:46,730 貝斯尼可從遙遠的地方而來 221 00:10:46,980 --> 00:10:51,360 要看看所有的男孩和女孩 過去這一年表現如何 222 00:10:53,278 --> 00:10:54,321 蘋果捲太多了! 223 00:10:54,571 --> 00:10:57,032 所以他跟聖誕老人很像?只是比較髒、比較糟糕 224 00:10:57,115 --> 00:11:00,827 不對!比較好!沒人會像害怕貝斯尼可一樣 害怕聖誕老人 225 00:11:02,329 --> 00:11:03,914 我最喜歡聖誕節的地方,權威 226 00:11:03,997 --> 00:11:06,166 -和恐懼 -對,沒錯 227 00:11:06,249 --> 00:11:08,210 拜託,杜懷特,你在胡謅 228 00:11:08,293 --> 00:11:09,920 -不是 -這是真的 229 00:11:10,212 --> 00:11:12,881 “貝斯尼可是一個反覆無常全身披著毛皮的送禮者 230 00:11:12,964 --> 00:11:15,258 “跟聖尼古拉斯其他的同伴有關係 231 00:11:15,342 --> 00:11:17,344 “源自於德國西南方的民俗傳說” 232 00:11:18,095 --> 00:11:19,679 好,很好,你們是認真的嗎? 233 00:11:19,763 --> 00:11:21,556 某個民主黨人在維基百科上查到了 234 00:11:21,640 --> 00:11:24,142 你們才相信杜懷特的傳統? 235 00:11:24,518 --> 00:11:27,437 “他的夥伴黑彼得是一個奴隸小男孩 236 00:11:27,521 --> 00:11:32,150 “形象上常穿著彩色褲子,有一張黑色的臉” 237 00:11:33,068 --> 00:11:34,986 不要,杜懷特,別來 238 00:11:35,112 --> 00:11:36,655 拜託 239 00:11:36,738 --> 00:11:40,450 我們又不會盲目固守所有過氣的傳統 240 00:11:40,534 --> 00:11:43,203 拜託!拿出態度來,大家! 241 00:11:49,876 --> 00:11:53,046 卡爾在現實生活中其實是芭雷舞者 242 00:11:53,547 --> 00:11:55,173 很誇張吧? 243 00:11:58,135 --> 00:11:59,970 吉姆,那個傢伙 244 00:12:01,847 --> 00:12:03,890 你要遵守諾言 245 00:12:04,015 --> 00:12:07,894 當你跟兄弟講話的時候,真正的兄弟 246 00:12:08,437 --> 00:12:11,523 你想要怎樣?騙你兄弟嗎? 247 00:12:12,065 --> 00:12:13,150 太爛了 248 00:12:13,483 --> 00:12:15,402 拿著,把碗傳下去 249 00:12:15,485 --> 00:12:16,987 謝謝你,杜懷特,這些很不錯 250 00:12:17,070 --> 00:12:18,447 不,這是禮物碗 251 00:12:18,530 --> 00:12:20,407 你收到禮物的時候,會放在碗裡 252 00:12:20,490 --> 00:12:22,284 但最後碗要回收,它們是一組的 253 00:12:22,492 --> 00:12:25,120 好,手伸直拿著你的碗 254 00:12:26,496 --> 00:12:30,834 貝斯尼可會決定你是頑劣還是乖巧 255 00:12:31,209 --> 00:12:33,003 就是調皮還是聽話的意思? 256 00:12:33,086 --> 00:12:34,921 不對,是頑劣還是乖巧 257 00:12:35,005 --> 00:12:37,507 一個小問題,你是即興決定誰得到什麼 258 00:12:37,591 --> 00:12:39,718 -還是你已經列了一個清單? -我早就決定了 259 00:12:40,218 --> 00:12:42,846 -很好,你有檢查清單嗎? -我當然檢查了 260 00:12:42,971 --> 00:12:44,431 但有超過一次嗎?因為可能會搞錯 261 00:12:44,598 --> 00:12:45,640 我檢查超過一次了 262 00:12:45,724 --> 00:12:47,434 好,你列了清單,檢查了兩次 263 00:12:47,517 --> 00:12:50,103 -現在你要決定誰是… -頑劣或乖巧 264 00:12:50,187 --> 00:12:51,271 可惡 265 00:12:51,354 --> 00:12:53,648 菲莉絲凡斯!高興或害怕 266 00:12:53,732 --> 00:12:57,736 貝斯尼可來了,我宣判妳過去這一年很 267 00:12:58,862 --> 00:13:00,030 乖巧 268 00:13:01,323 --> 00:13:02,657 給妳 269 00:13:02,741 --> 00:13:04,075 這是什麼? 270 00:13:04,242 --> 00:13:06,369 一組罐頭專用的橡皮墊圈 271 00:13:06,495 --> 00:13:09,122 -我寧可要這個碗 -碗不能給妳 272 00:13:09,498 --> 00:13:13,043 奧斯卡馬提涅茲,高興或害怕 273 00:13:13,418 --> 00:13:16,087 貝斯尼可來了,我宣判你過去這一年很 274 00:13:18,507 --> 00:13:19,758 頑劣 275 00:13:20,717 --> 00:13:22,052 你用那個打人喔? 276 00:13:22,135 --> 00:13:25,222 沒有,我拿著棍子只是為了看起來很酷 277 00:13:25,305 --> 00:13:28,141 -給小孩的 -捕鼠器 278 00:13:28,725 --> 00:13:32,812 正面對決的時候,每次大家都比較喜歡貝斯尼可 而不是聖誕老人 279 00:13:32,896 --> 00:13:34,189 他的專屬歌曲比較少 280 00:13:34,272 --> 00:13:36,525 但我認為這是因為押韻困難 281 00:13:36,942 --> 00:13:38,818 我跟弟弟寫過一首 282 00:13:38,902 --> 00:13:42,072 關於一個善變醃黃瓜的銷售員 會為了五分錢搔你癢 283 00:13:45,283 --> 00:13:47,702 -好的,我該走了 -不要笑了 284 00:13:47,786 --> 00:13:49,162 -真的?時間到了? -對,抱歉 285 00:13:49,246 --> 00:13:51,039 這是懲罰,嘿,你要去哪? 286 00:13:51,122 --> 00:13:53,708 我要去費城了,但這一切都很棒,好嗎? 287 00:13:53,792 --> 00:13:55,502 -但你明天才上班 -對,我知道 288 00:13:55,585 --> 00:13:57,504 我想要先安頓,晚上睡個好覺 289 00:13:57,671 --> 00:13:59,464 但我們還要折斷豬肋骨 290 00:13:59,798 --> 00:14:01,758 -記得嗎? -沒錯 291 00:14:03,593 --> 00:14:06,846 沒關係!貝斯尼可不在乎 292 00:14:06,930 --> 00:14:08,682 -你走吧 -很好 293 00:14:08,765 --> 00:14:11,101 -各位聖誕快樂 -等一下! 294 00:14:11,184 --> 00:14:13,019 你不想知道你的禮物是什麼嗎? 295 00:14:13,103 --> 00:14:14,980 也好,告訴我吧 296 00:14:15,063 --> 00:14:17,315 吉姆哈柏特,高興或害怕 297 00:14:17,566 --> 00:14:21,361 貝斯尼可來了,我宣判你過去這一年很頑劣 298 00:14:22,946 --> 00:14:24,614 -你瘋了嗎? -你很頑劣! 299 00:14:25,073 --> 00:14:27,492 好,打三下了,而且你打別人都沒這麼用力 300 00:14:27,576 --> 00:14:29,953 -他們沒有拋棄這個派對 -嘿! 301 00:14:31,079 --> 00:14:32,414 夠了!我受夠了,可以嗎? 302 00:14:32,956 --> 00:14:34,291 頑劣! 303 00:14:35,917 --> 00:14:38,420 貝斯尼可,我也要提早離開 304 00:14:42,757 --> 00:14:44,217 那是怎麼回事? 305 00:14:44,301 --> 00:14:48,471 我第一天上班就要傷痕累累 306 00:14:48,555 --> 00:14:49,806 天哪 307 00:14:51,558 --> 00:14:52,934 等一下 308 00:14:54,394 --> 00:14:56,771 就這樣了 309 00:14:57,647 --> 00:14:59,524 我可能再也不會見到妳 310 00:14:59,774 --> 00:15:02,319 -閉嘴,我是認真的 -好啦,對不起 311 00:15:05,530 --> 00:15:07,240 不敢相信這一刻真的到了 312 00:15:07,449 --> 00:15:11,036 很謝謝妳安排這一切 313 00:15:11,161 --> 00:15:13,496 最後一場聖誕派對很完美 314 00:15:16,458 --> 00:15:18,043 好啦,祝我好運 315 00:15:20,420 --> 00:15:23,173 -祝你好運,你會很棒的 -我到了會打給妳 316 00:15:23,340 --> 00:15:24,883 -好 -好的 317 00:15:25,383 --> 00:15:26,843 -愛你! -愛妳! 318 00:15:57,165 --> 00:15:58,917 -怎麼了? -派對結束了 319 00:15:59,084 --> 00:16:01,670 妳拋下聖誕節,聖誕節也拋下妳 320 00:16:03,880 --> 00:16:07,467 小朋友們,你猜怎麼回事? 貝斯尼可不是真的 321 00:16:07,634 --> 00:16:09,427 其實是我,杜懷特! 322 00:16:14,099 --> 00:16:16,935 我們在倉庫裡找到一些舊的裝飾品 323 00:16:17,018 --> 00:16:19,562 奧斯卡去商店買了些食物和飲料 324 00:16:19,646 --> 00:16:21,648 我拿了一些收藏的蛋酒 325 00:16:21,815 --> 00:16:23,525 我猜他們最終還是需要我的 326 00:16:23,608 --> 00:16:25,318 好像電影《奇妙人生》裡 327 00:16:25,443 --> 00:16:27,779 吉姆史都華發現所有住宅信貸的人 328 00:16:27,862 --> 00:16:31,449 都是混蛋,只有他才是真正的英雄 329 00:16:32,784 --> 00:16:35,036 凱文!住手! 330 00:16:35,704 --> 00:16:38,915 聽起來外面的派對已經開始了 331 00:16:38,998 --> 00:16:43,837 對,總之,整個陪審團都希望我投有罪一票 332 00:16:43,962 --> 00:16:46,089 但那天晚上,我自己做了一些調查 333 00:16:46,297 --> 00:16:49,551 忘了所有妳以為自己對指紋的瞭解吧 334 00:16:49,884 --> 00:16:52,512 梅雷迪思有點可愛 335 00:16:52,595 --> 00:16:54,848 我現在才發現 336 00:16:54,931 --> 00:16:56,975 她有一點像艾瑪史東 337 00:17:17,662 --> 00:17:20,290 無論如何,我比較喜歡你的派對 338 00:17:20,415 --> 00:17:22,459 大家都覺得食物很噁心 339 00:17:22,542 --> 00:17:25,044 覺得貝斯尼可是某種黑暗好色的怪胎 340 00:17:26,379 --> 00:17:28,298 我不認為有人這樣想 341 00:17:28,923 --> 00:17:31,134 吉姆沒留到派對結束 342 00:17:31,217 --> 00:17:33,136 那跟你一點關係也沒有 343 00:17:33,303 --> 00:17:34,512 我不在乎 344 00:17:34,721 --> 00:17:36,931 一到十分,猜我有多在乎 345 00:17:37,015 --> 00:17:38,683 -零分 -可惡! 346 00:17:48,485 --> 00:17:51,029 我要叫吉姆去…他自己 347 00:17:55,784 --> 00:18:00,663 你覺得安迪會為了我 綁著水管從爆炸的大樓跳下去嗎? 348 00:18:01,831 --> 00:18:04,375 會呀,當然 349 00:18:13,218 --> 00:18:16,721 別這樣,過來,嘿,沒關係啦 350 00:18:22,727 --> 00:18:24,729 我還是安迪的女朋友 351 00:18:24,938 --> 00:18:26,981 當然,我知道 352 00:18:28,817 --> 00:18:30,443 但你手可以放著 353 00:18:41,621 --> 00:18:43,373 杜懷特,要幫你拿杯蛋酒嗎? 354 00:18:43,456 --> 00:18:46,042 不用,謝啦,我會再吃一顆抗焦慮劑 355 00:18:46,334 --> 00:18:48,545 吉姆教我一種很酷的服用方法 356 00:18:48,628 --> 00:18:51,047 把它弄碎變成粉末之後,用屁股吸進去 357 00:18:51,214 --> 00:18:52,882 對,我講過 358 00:18:53,800 --> 00:18:56,803 -吉姆! -怎麼了?貝斯尼可呢? 359 00:18:57,804 --> 00:18:59,222 我的天哪! 360 00:19:01,057 --> 00:19:02,517 你在幹嘛? 361 00:19:03,017 --> 00:19:05,103 上回見到你,你一邊鞭打我一邊把我趕出大樓 362 00:19:05,395 --> 00:19:06,938 不要談那件事了 363 00:19:07,480 --> 00:19:10,483 豬肋骨!我們可以弄斷豬肋骨了! 364 00:19:10,817 --> 00:19:13,027 我要去垃圾堆中把它挖出來! 365 00:19:14,571 --> 00:19:16,322 怎麼了?你錯過巴士了嗎? 366 00:19:16,698 --> 00:19:18,741 沒有,我只是想念我太太 367 00:19:20,869 --> 00:19:21,911 我找到了 368 00:19:23,079 --> 00:19:25,081 而且我發現早上五點有一班巴士 369 00:19:39,304 --> 00:19:40,722 可惡! 370 00:19:41,347 --> 00:19:42,932 吉姆那塊比較大 371 00:19:45,310 --> 00:19:46,769 還敢回來? 372 00:19:47,145 --> 00:19:49,439 蛋酒!我要來杯蛋酒 373 00:19:56,362 --> 00:19:57,572 你! 374 00:19:57,947 --> 00:19:59,532 嘿,大哥!你知道嗎? 375 00:19:59,782 --> 00:20:02,201 趁我還沒忘記,我跟他們說雇用你的事了 376 00:20:02,368 --> 00:20:04,787 他們會找你去面試 377 00:20:11,044 --> 00:20:12,337 太棒了! 378 00:20:12,545 --> 00:20:13,838 對吧? 379 00:20:14,297 --> 00:20:16,174 -謝啦 -不用客氣 380 00:20:16,883 --> 00:20:19,844 看你何時方便我再過去 381 00:20:20,053 --> 00:20:21,429 先生,謝謝 382 00:20:23,431 --> 00:20:25,016 一舉拿下吧! 383 00:20:30,772 --> 00:20:32,231 非常頑劣 384 00:20:41,074 --> 00:20:44,160 兩個一角、七個五分、一個, 好 385 00:20:44,243 --> 00:20:47,246 不對,加總數目不對 是一個二十五分和… 386 00:20:48,915 --> 00:20:51,250 什麼?我只是在解釋…什麼? 387 00:20:51,334 --> 00:20:52,877 可是為什麼要… 388 00:20:53,586 --> 00:20:55,088 妳在幹嘛?為什麼? 389 00:20:55,171 --> 00:20:58,216 不要講話了 390 00:20:59,550 --> 00:21:01,594 妳要吻我嗎? 391 00:21:02,178 --> 00:21:03,554 對