1 00:00:04,439 --> 00:00:06,310 - HEY, BRIAN, YOU GOT A SEC? 2 00:00:06,354 --> 00:00:08,269 - YEAH. I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE GONNA SAY. 3 00:00:08,312 --> 00:00:09,618 IT'S--IT'S ALL RIGHT. 4 00:00:09,661 --> 00:00:11,446 - NO, I HEARD YOU GOT IN TROUBLE. 5 00:00:11,489 --> 00:00:13,187 I FEEL AWFUL. - IT'S FINE. 6 00:00:13,230 --> 00:00:14,579 IT WAS MY FIRST SLIPUP 7 00:00:14,623 --> 00:00:16,625 IN NINE YEARS OF MIKING YOU. [phone rings] 8 00:00:16,668 --> 00:00:18,496 - DUNDER MIFFLIN. THIS IS ERIN. 9 00:00:18,540 --> 00:00:19,715 - WELL, THANKS FOR BEING A GOOD FRIEND. 10 00:00:19,758 --> 00:00:22,326 - SURE, ANYTIME. UH, HOW ABOUT YOU AND JIM? 11 00:00:22,370 --> 00:00:26,635 EVERYTHING SQUARED AWAY? - YEAH, MOSTLY. 12 00:00:26,678 --> 00:00:28,593 - PAM, PHONE CALL. 13 00:00:28,637 --> 00:00:31,640 - UM, HEY, SAY HI TO ALYSSA. 14 00:00:31,683 --> 00:00:33,511 - WILL DO. - OKAY. THANK YOU. 15 00:00:33,555 --> 00:00:35,557 - SURE. 16 00:00:35,600 --> 00:00:38,908 - HEY, BOOM GUY. - OH, HEY, MEREDITH. 17 00:00:38,951 --> 00:00:40,214 - WHEN ARE YOU GONNA BOOM ME? 18 00:00:40,257 --> 00:00:41,824 - LISTEN, THEY'RE CRACKING DOWN ON US 19 00:00:41,867 --> 00:00:43,217 TALKING TO THE SUBJECTS. 20 00:00:43,260 --> 00:00:45,393 IT'S A LAME RULE, BUT, YOU KNOW, I WANNA-- 21 00:00:45,436 --> 00:00:48,439 I'LL SEE YOU LATER. - GOT IT. 22 00:00:56,360 --> 00:00:59,320 [cheerful music] 23 00:00:59,363 --> 00:01:07,458 ♪ 24 00:01:19,427 --> 00:01:22,343 - HEY, SO I HEAR YOU'RE BRINGING IN SOME PEOPLE 25 00:01:22,386 --> 00:01:24,388 TO INTERVIEW FOR THE SALES JOB? 26 00:01:24,432 --> 00:01:26,390 - THAT'S RIGHT, A COUPLE OF OLD FRIENDS. 27 00:01:26,434 --> 00:01:27,826 BALLERS ONLY. 28 00:01:27,870 --> 00:01:30,220 MUST BE THIS COOL TO RIDE. 29 00:01:30,264 --> 00:01:32,875 - WELL, UH, SEE, YOU RAISED IT. 30 00:01:32,918 --> 00:01:34,094 - OH, DID I? 31 00:01:34,137 --> 00:01:35,617 OH, YES, I DID. 32 00:01:35,660 --> 00:01:37,967 WALLACE IS LETTING ME HIRE A JUNIOR SALES ASSOCIATE 33 00:01:38,010 --> 00:01:40,143 TO SIT AT JIM'S DESK WHILE HE'S AWAY IN PHILLY. 34 00:01:40,187 --> 00:01:43,364 FINALLY I'LL HAVE SOMEONE AT MY DESK CLUMP WHO GETS ME. 35 00:01:43,407 --> 00:01:45,714 IT'S LIKE, "REALLY, JIM? 36 00:01:45,757 --> 00:01:47,324 "YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND THE DIFFERENCE 37 00:01:47,368 --> 00:01:49,413 "BETWEEN A SLAUGHTERHOUSE AND A RENDERING PLANT? 38 00:01:49,457 --> 00:01:51,198 "UH, REMIND ME NOT TO LEND YOU 39 00:01:51,241 --> 00:01:53,156 ANY DEAD COWS OR HORSES." 40 00:01:53,200 --> 00:01:54,462 WOW. 41 00:01:54,505 --> 00:01:56,028 - YOU KNOW WHAT, MAN? I DESERVE THIS JOB. 42 00:01:56,072 --> 00:01:57,204 - MM-HMM. 43 00:01:57,247 --> 00:01:58,379 - I SCORED STONE AND SON SUIT WAREHOUSE 44 00:01:58,422 --> 00:01:59,728 WITH YOU, AND GOD KNOWS, 45 00:01:59,771 --> 00:02:01,382 TO GET THE SCRANTON WHITE PAGES WITH JAN, 46 00:02:01,425 --> 00:02:03,079 I WENT ABOVE AND BEYOND-- 47 00:02:03,123 --> 00:02:04,472 AND UNDER. 48 00:02:04,515 --> 00:02:06,082 - YOU KNOW WHAT? 49 00:02:06,126 --> 00:02:08,345 YOU'RE GONNA GET YOUR INTERVIEW, OKAY? 50 00:02:08,389 --> 00:02:09,694 I KNOW THAT YOU'RE GOING HEAD-TO-HEAD 51 00:02:09,738 --> 00:02:10,869 AGAINST SOME REAL SUPERSTARS, 52 00:02:10,913 --> 00:02:12,828 BUT YOU GOT A REALLY GOOD CHANCE. 53 00:02:12,871 --> 00:02:14,612 CLARK HAS NO CHANCE. 54 00:02:14,656 --> 00:02:17,398 I MEAN, HE'S UP AGAINST MY BUDDY ROLF, FOR GOD'S SAKE. 55 00:02:17,441 --> 00:02:19,400 GUY GOES FISHING WITH HAND GRENADES. 56 00:02:19,443 --> 00:02:21,402 AND TREVOR-- HE'LL MAKE YOU LAUGH SO HARD, 57 00:02:21,445 --> 00:02:23,186 YOU'LL PUKE YOUR PANTS. 58 00:02:23,230 --> 00:02:24,535 - THIS SUCKS, YOU KNOW? 59 00:02:24,579 --> 00:02:26,146 YOU PUT IN 12 GRUELING WEEKS AT A COMPANY, 60 00:02:26,189 --> 00:02:27,277 AND WHAT DO THEY DO? 61 00:02:27,321 --> 00:02:28,931 THEY MAKE YOU COMPETE FOR A PROMOTION, 62 00:02:28,974 --> 00:02:30,193 LIKE AN ANIMAL. 63 00:02:30,237 --> 00:02:31,455 YOU KNOW, I THOUGHT THIS WAS AN OFFICE, 64 00:02:31,499 --> 00:02:33,936 NOT THE THUNDERDOME. 65 00:02:33,979 --> 00:02:36,156 - BIG CHANGES COMING TO THE OLD DESK CLUMP. 66 00:02:36,199 --> 00:02:39,507 NO LONGER A PAM-JIM ALLIANCE AGAINST DWIGHT. 67 00:02:39,550 --> 00:02:43,250 NOW IT IS DWIGHT AND A FRIEND AXIS AGAINST PAM. 68 00:02:43,293 --> 00:02:45,208 - YOU COULD'VE JUST CALLED THAT AN ALLIANCE TOO, RIGHT? 69 00:02:45,252 --> 00:02:47,732 - I CHOSE MY WORDS VERY CAREFULLY. 70 00:02:47,776 --> 00:02:51,214 - THINGS ARE A LITTLE DELICATE WITH ME AND PAM RIGHT NOW. 71 00:02:51,258 --> 00:02:53,042 AND IF MY WORKING IN PHILLY 72 00:02:53,085 --> 00:02:54,870 IS GONNA END UP DOUBLING THE DWIGHT IN HER LIFE, 73 00:02:54,913 --> 00:02:57,568 THAT'S ONLY GONNA MAKE THINGS WORSE. 74 00:02:57,612 --> 00:03:00,354 - [sighs] 75 00:03:02,747 --> 00:03:04,445 YOU INTERVIEWING FOR THE SALES JOB TOO? 76 00:03:04,488 --> 00:03:06,490 - NO. YOU'RE INTERVIEWING FOR IT. 77 00:03:06,534 --> 00:03:07,883 I'M GETTING IT. 78 00:03:07,926 --> 00:03:09,319 - WELL, I WOULDN'T BE SO SURE ABOUT THAT. 79 00:03:09,363 --> 00:03:10,755 I MEAN, I'VE BEEN WORKING HERE 12 WEEKS. 80 00:03:10,799 --> 00:03:12,627 THAT'S A FULL SEASON OF HOMELAND. 81 00:03:12,670 --> 00:03:14,629 A TON OF THINGS CAN HAPPEN IN THAT AMOUNT OF TIME, 82 00:03:14,672 --> 00:03:15,760 AS WE'VE SEEN. 83 00:03:15,804 --> 00:03:17,109 - I'M ROLF. 84 00:03:17,153 --> 00:03:18,459 ROLF AHL. 85 00:03:18,502 --> 00:03:20,112 - ROLF AHL? 86 00:03:20,156 --> 00:03:22,114 SOUNDS KINDA LIKE ROALD DAHL. 87 00:03:22,158 --> 00:03:23,290 - GO TO HELL. 88 00:03:23,333 --> 00:03:24,552 - THERE HE IS. 89 00:03:24,595 --> 00:03:26,075 - HEY. - COME ON, BUDDY. 90 00:03:26,118 --> 00:03:28,686 LET'S DO THIS. SORRY, ROLF GOES FIRST. 91 00:03:28,730 --> 00:03:29,861 YOU DON'T COMPARE. 92 00:03:29,905 --> 00:03:31,515 WHEN YOU'RE WITH THE R-O-L-F 93 00:03:31,559 --> 00:03:34,910 YOU'RE LITERALLY ROLLING ON THE LAUGHING FLOOR. 94 00:03:34,953 --> 00:03:36,607 - [laughs] NICE. 95 00:03:36,651 --> 00:03:38,783 - ROLF IS MY BEST FRIEND, 96 00:03:38,827 --> 00:03:41,221 AND HE IS THE MAN. 97 00:03:41,264 --> 00:03:44,093 COOL, CALM, AND COLLECTED 24/7. 98 00:03:44,136 --> 00:03:46,530 JUST TRY AND RATTLE ROLF. I DARE YOU. 99 00:03:46,574 --> 00:03:48,576 SUCH A SWEET GUY. 100 00:03:48,619 --> 00:03:50,012 - WHEN ARE YOU TALKING TO DAVID WALLACE? 101 00:03:50,055 --> 00:03:51,231 - I'M TALKING TO HIM THIS AFTERNOON, 102 00:03:51,274 --> 00:03:52,623 BUT DON'T GET YOUR HOPES UP. 103 00:03:52,667 --> 00:03:54,146 - TOO LATE. MY HOPES ARE UP. 104 00:03:54,190 --> 00:03:55,365 - LAST WEEK, MY COMPANY IN PHILLY 105 00:03:55,409 --> 00:03:56,671 LOST A BIG INVESTOR, SO WE'RE SCRAMBLING 106 00:03:56,714 --> 00:03:57,715 TO FIND NEW FUNDING. 107 00:03:57,759 --> 00:04:00,152 LUCKILY, MY PARTNERS HAVE A FIX-- 108 00:04:00,196 --> 00:04:03,155 ME ASKING THE BOSS OF THE COMPANY I'M ABANDONING 109 00:04:03,199 --> 00:04:06,071 TO GIVE US A GIGANTIC INFLUX OF CASH. 110 00:04:06,115 --> 00:04:09,292 SO...PROBLEM SOLVED. 111 00:04:09,336 --> 00:04:10,641 THANKS, GUYS. 112 00:04:10,685 --> 00:04:12,077 - AND THIS CHAIR'S GONNA BE YOURS. 113 00:04:12,121 --> 00:04:13,470 AND THIS DESK. HA! 114 00:04:13,514 --> 00:04:14,732 - I'M ON THE PHONE. I'M ON THE PHONE. 115 00:04:14,776 --> 00:04:16,125 - NO DOY! 116 00:04:16,168 --> 00:04:19,084 - I'M JUST GONNA CALL YOU BACK. THANKS. 117 00:04:19,128 --> 00:04:20,521 [Dwight knocking on desk] 118 00:04:20,564 --> 00:04:22,566 - I HOPE YOU LIKE NORWEGIAN BLACK METAL, 119 00:04:22,610 --> 00:04:24,655 BECAUSE I DON'T DO EARBUDS. 120 00:04:24,699 --> 00:04:26,744 - [laughs] NO EARBUDS! 121 00:04:26,788 --> 00:04:30,270 [both laugh] 122 00:04:30,313 --> 00:04:31,706 - I'M SURE HE'S JUST NERVOUS. 123 00:04:31,749 --> 00:04:33,664 - [sighs] IT'S FINE. 124 00:04:33,708 --> 00:04:36,624 IT'S JUST A SEATING ARRANGEMENT. DOESN'T MATTER. 125 00:04:39,844 --> 00:04:41,716 - SO I'VE GOT YOUR RESUME HERE, 126 00:04:41,759 --> 00:04:43,544 BUT IT'S NOT TELLING ME EVERYTHING. 127 00:04:43,587 --> 00:04:45,415 - WELL, A LOT OF THAT INFORMATION IS PRIVATE. 128 00:04:45,459 --> 00:04:47,765 HOW DO I KNOW YOU'RE QUALIFIED TO EVALUATE ME? 129 00:04:47,809 --> 00:04:49,332 - WELL, I'M THE ONE OFFERING THE JOB. 130 00:04:49,376 --> 00:04:50,638 - WHAT ARE YOUR CREDENTIALS? 131 00:04:50,681 --> 00:04:52,030 - I'VE WORKED HERE FOR 12 YEARS. 132 00:04:52,074 --> 00:04:53,380 I WON SALESMAN OF THE YEAR. 133 00:04:53,423 --> 00:04:54,729 I'M AN ASSISTANT TO THE REGIONAL MANAGER. 134 00:04:54,772 --> 00:04:56,252 - I THINK I'VE HEARD EVERYTHING I NEED TO HEAR. 135 00:04:56,296 --> 00:04:58,210 - WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, NO, I MEAN, IF YOU NEED TO KNOW MORE, 136 00:04:58,254 --> 00:05:00,082 YOU CAN CALL DAVID WALLACE. I'M SURE HE'D GIVE A REFERENCE. 137 00:05:00,125 --> 00:05:03,564 - THANK YOU, DWIGHT. I'LL BE IN TOUCH. 138 00:05:04,956 --> 00:05:06,567 - WELL, THEY CAN'T ALL BE WINNERS. 139 00:05:06,610 --> 00:05:09,613 BUT TREVOR'S NEXT, AND HE'S A REAL PROFESSIONAL. 140 00:05:09,657 --> 00:05:12,616 YOU SAY, "JUMP," AND HE SAYS, "ON WHO?" 141 00:05:12,660 --> 00:05:16,272 HE LOVES TO JUMP ON PEOPLE, THAT TREVOR. 142 00:05:16,316 --> 00:05:17,752 WHAT MAKES YOU THINK YOU'D BE 143 00:05:17,795 --> 00:05:19,362 AN EFFECTIVE PAPER SALESMAN? 144 00:05:19,406 --> 00:05:21,277 - OOH, OKAY. 145 00:05:21,321 --> 00:05:23,540 DIDN'T SEE THAT ONE COMING. 146 00:05:23,584 --> 00:05:24,933 CAN I TAKE A 20 ON THAT? 147 00:05:24,976 --> 00:05:26,761 MAYBE WE CAN CIRCLE BACK AROUND TO IT. 148 00:05:26,804 --> 00:05:28,458 - WELL, IT'S A PRETTY BASIC QUESTION 149 00:05:28,502 --> 00:05:30,286 FOR A POTENTIAL PAPER SALESMAN. 150 00:05:30,330 --> 00:05:32,288 - PASS. NEXT ONE. 151 00:05:32,332 --> 00:05:33,681 - ALL RIGHT. 152 00:05:33,724 --> 00:05:35,639 DO YOU SEE YOURSELF AS MORE OF A TEAM PLAYER 153 00:05:35,683 --> 00:05:37,162 OR A SELF-STARTER? 154 00:05:37,206 --> 00:05:39,817 - NO, NO, AND NO. 155 00:05:41,166 --> 00:05:42,646 - THERE WERE ONLY TWO OPTIONS. 156 00:05:42,690 --> 00:05:44,822 - CHECKMATE. 157 00:05:44,866 --> 00:05:47,738 YOU WIN THIS ONE, MY FRIEND. 158 00:05:47,782 --> 00:05:51,394 DO YOU VALIDATE PARKING? 159 00:05:51,438 --> 00:05:52,613 - THIS IS A BUS TRANSFER. 160 00:05:52,656 --> 00:05:55,877 - [chuckles] NOTHING GETS BY THIS GUY. 161 00:05:58,662 --> 00:06:00,534 - HEY, JIM, DO YOU MIND 162 00:06:00,577 --> 00:06:02,144 IF I LOOK OVER THESE PRICE SHEETS BEFORE MY INTERVIEW? 163 00:06:02,187 --> 00:06:03,188 - SURE, YEAH, GO AHEAD. 164 00:06:03,232 --> 00:06:05,756 - THANKS, DUDE. 165 00:06:09,412 --> 00:06:12,110 YOU--YOU SURE IT'S OKAY? 'CAUSE YOU'RE KINDA-- 166 00:06:12,154 --> 00:06:13,764 - YEAH, ABSOLUTELY. 167 00:06:13,808 --> 00:06:15,549 DO PEOPLE LIKE SITTING NEXT TO YOU? 168 00:06:15,592 --> 00:06:16,680 YOU'RE CLEAN, RIGHT? 169 00:06:16,724 --> 00:06:18,813 - OH, DOVE MEN. - NICE. 170 00:06:18,856 --> 00:06:21,772 MUSIC. DO YOU LISTEN TO IT IN EARBUDS? 171 00:06:21,816 --> 00:06:24,427 YOU DON'T LISTEN TO IT AT ALL BECAUSE WE'RE AT WORK, 172 00:06:24,471 --> 00:06:26,211 NOT A FLORENCE AND THE MACHINE CONCERT, SO-- 173 00:06:26,255 --> 00:06:29,780 - YEAH, COULD I JUST HAVE A MINUTE TO PREPARE FOR THIS? 174 00:06:29,824 --> 00:06:31,739 - SURE, YEAH. DO WHATEVER YOU NEED TO DO. 175 00:06:31,782 --> 00:06:32,914 - THANKS, DUDE. 176 00:06:32,957 --> 00:06:36,396 - RIGHT AFTER YOU DO ONE THING FOR ME. 177 00:06:36,439 --> 00:06:38,093 I NEED YOU TO BREATHE IN MY FACE. 178 00:06:38,136 --> 00:06:39,399 - WHY? 179 00:06:39,442 --> 00:06:41,792 - I NEED YOU TO BREATHE IN MY FACE RIGHT NOW. 180 00:06:41,836 --> 00:06:43,881 - [exhales] 181 00:06:43,925 --> 00:06:45,840 - WHAT ARE WE WORKING WITH, PEPPERMINT OR WINTERGREEN? 182 00:06:45,883 --> 00:06:47,058 - WINTERGREEN. 183 00:06:47,102 --> 00:06:49,147 - I KNEW IT, I KNEW IT. - YEAH, GOOD NOSE. 184 00:06:49,191 --> 00:06:50,148 - I LOOKED AT YOU COMING AROUND, 185 00:06:50,192 --> 00:06:51,454 AND I SAID, "WINTERGREEN." 186 00:06:51,498 --> 00:06:52,890 - I CAN'T HIRE CLARK. 187 00:06:52,934 --> 00:06:54,892 YEAH, HE LOOKS LIKE A SCHRUTE, 188 00:06:54,936 --> 00:06:56,111 BUT HE THINKS LIKE A HALPERT 189 00:06:56,154 --> 00:06:58,766 AND HE ACTS LIKE A BEESLY. 190 00:06:58,809 --> 00:07:00,245 OKAY, HERE'S ONE. 191 00:07:00,289 --> 00:07:02,465 A CUSTOMER WHO ORDERED ENOUGH PAPER TO QUALIFY 192 00:07:02,509 --> 00:07:03,684 FOR A VOLUME DISCOUNT NOW WANTS 193 00:07:03,727 --> 00:07:05,294 TO RETURN HALF THE STOCK. 194 00:07:05,337 --> 00:07:07,035 YOU CAN'T REBATE THE SALES PRICE 195 00:07:07,078 --> 00:07:09,516 OR CREDIT FOR FUTURE PURCHASES 196 00:07:09,559 --> 00:07:13,084 BECAUSE YOU BROKERED THE DEAL FOR A THIRD PARTY. 197 00:07:13,128 --> 00:07:14,782 - THAT'S JUST A CLASSIC NO-WIN SITUATION. 198 00:07:14,825 --> 00:07:17,219 - THANK YOU. - SO I'D KOBAYASHI MARU IT. 199 00:07:17,262 --> 00:07:20,483 - DAMN IT! PERFECT ANSWER, AGAIN. 200 00:07:20,527 --> 00:07:22,093 - YEP. - THINK, DWIGHT, THINK. 201 00:07:22,137 --> 00:07:24,356 YOU HAVE A REAM OF 16-BOND... 202 00:07:24,400 --> 00:07:25,749 - YOU KNOW WHAT, DWIGHT? - AND ANOTH-- 203 00:07:25,793 --> 00:07:28,491 - THIS INTERVIEW'S OVER, AND I GET THE JOB. 204 00:07:28,535 --> 00:07:31,755 I JUST KOBAYASHI MARU'D THE WHOLE PROCESS. 205 00:07:31,799 --> 00:07:33,365 - NO. - YEAH. 206 00:07:33,409 --> 00:07:34,671 STAR TREKRULES. 207 00:07:34,715 --> 00:07:36,847 - IT DOES, BUT STILL NO. 208 00:07:36,891 --> 00:07:38,762 - COME ON, MAN. I MEAN, DID TREVOR DO THAT? 209 00:07:38,806 --> 00:07:40,372 DID ROLF DO THAT? 210 00:07:40,416 --> 00:07:42,418 - OH, YOU THINK THEY'RE MY ONLY FRIENDS? 211 00:07:42,462 --> 00:07:43,898 I'VE GOT WAY MORE FRIENDS THAN THAT, 212 00:07:43,941 --> 00:07:45,943 AND THEY'RE ALL BETTER THAN THE LOSERS WHO WORK HERE. 213 00:07:45,987 --> 00:07:51,993 [all murmuring] 214 00:07:54,125 --> 00:07:57,520 - THIS IS NOT NATURAL. 215 00:08:01,568 --> 00:08:03,483 - JUST--I DON'T WANNA MAKE ASSUMPTIONS 216 00:08:03,526 --> 00:08:05,267 BASED ON PEOPLE'S PHYSICAL APPEARANCES. 217 00:08:05,310 --> 00:08:06,921 - OF COURSE NOT. BUT DOES PHYSICAL APPEARANCE 218 00:08:06,964 --> 00:08:07,965 INCLUDE SMELL? 219 00:08:08,009 --> 00:08:09,619 - THEY SMELL SO BAD. 220 00:08:09,663 --> 00:08:12,187 - IF I EVER GET THAT BAD, YOU'D TELL ME, RIGHT? 221 00:08:12,230 --> 00:08:14,319 - MEREDITH, I TELL YOU ALL THE TIME. 222 00:08:14,363 --> 00:08:17,627 - [chuckles] WALKED RIGHT INTO THAT ONE. 223 00:08:17,671 --> 00:08:20,369 - NEXT UP, MY COUSIN MOSE. 224 00:08:20,412 --> 00:08:22,066 MOSE COULD MAKE A GREAT PAPER SALESMAN. 225 00:08:22,110 --> 00:08:23,503 HE'S GOT A NATURAL FEAR OF PAPER, 226 00:08:23,546 --> 00:08:24,982 WHICH WOULD MOTIVATE HIM TO GET AS MUCH OF IT 227 00:08:25,026 --> 00:08:26,418 OUT OF THIS OFFICE AS POSSIBLE. 228 00:08:26,462 --> 00:08:29,334 I'VE GOT BIG EXPECTATIONS, MOSE-WISE. 229 00:08:29,378 --> 00:08:32,076 WHAT QUALITY WOULD MAKE YOU A GOOD SALES ASSOCIATE? 230 00:08:32,120 --> 00:08:33,513 - PEOPLE PERSON. 231 00:08:33,556 --> 00:08:35,558 - IT SAYS HERE ON YOUR RESUME THAT YOU SPENT 232 00:08:35,602 --> 00:08:38,648 THE LAST 15 YEARS AS A SALES REP FOR DOW CHEMICAL. 233 00:08:38,692 --> 00:08:39,867 - THAT'S RIGHT. 234 00:08:39,910 --> 00:08:41,390 - YOU KNOW WE LIVE TOGETHER, RIGHT? 235 00:08:41,433 --> 00:08:43,305 - YES. - AND I'VE NEVER SEEN YOU 236 00:08:43,348 --> 00:08:45,394 GO TO WORK, EVER. 237 00:08:45,437 --> 00:08:46,656 - OKAY. 238 00:08:46,700 --> 00:08:49,746 - SO WHY IS THIS ON YOUR RESUME? 239 00:08:53,968 --> 00:08:54,969 [door slams] 240 00:09:13,596 --> 00:09:15,511 - SO HOW'D YOU GUYS HEAR ABOUT THE POSITION? 241 00:09:15,555 --> 00:09:16,773 - MY--MY MOM. 242 00:09:16,817 --> 00:09:19,210 DWIGHT CALLED MY HOUSE, BUT HE DIDN'T REALIZE 243 00:09:19,254 --> 00:09:20,995 THAT I HAD ALREADY MOVED OUT, 244 00:09:21,038 --> 00:09:23,040 BECAUSE MY MOM AND I ARE QUARRELLING 245 00:09:23,084 --> 00:09:25,608 BECAUSE I-I CAN'T STAY OUT OF HER STUFF. 246 00:09:25,652 --> 00:09:27,262 - DWIGHT'S MY COUSIN, 247 00:09:27,305 --> 00:09:29,090 SO I OVERHEAD HIM TELLING MY BROTHER MOSE 248 00:09:29,133 --> 00:09:31,440 ABOUT THE JOB OPPORTUNITY IN THE SHOWER. 249 00:09:31,483 --> 00:09:33,442 - YOU WERE IN THE SHOWER OR HE WAS IN THE SHOWER? 250 00:09:33,485 --> 00:09:34,704 - EVERYONE WAS IN THE SHOWER. 251 00:09:34,748 --> 00:09:36,445 IT'S A COW SHOWER, SO THERE'S, LIKE, 252 00:09:36,488 --> 00:09:38,621 A TON OF PEOPLE IN THERE. 253 00:09:38,665 --> 00:09:40,275 - SO YOU GUYS ALL KNOW DWIGHT ALREADY? 254 00:09:40,318 --> 00:09:41,581 - I WAS HIS BABYSITTER, 255 00:09:41,624 --> 00:09:43,539 AND THEN WE DATED FOR A WHILE. 256 00:09:43,583 --> 00:09:45,367 HE WAS A PASSIONATE LOVER 257 00:09:45,410 --> 00:09:47,543 AND THE SWEETEST LITTLE BABY. 258 00:09:47,587 --> 00:09:49,763 - I KNEW YOU LOOKED FAMILIAR. 259 00:09:49,806 --> 00:09:51,939 YOU USED TO PICK UP DWIGHT FROM SCHOOL. 260 00:09:51,982 --> 00:09:54,463 - YOU WENT TO X-MEN SCHOOL TOO? 261 00:09:54,506 --> 00:09:55,638 [exhales] 262 00:09:55,682 --> 00:09:57,335 - X-MEN SCHOOL? 263 00:09:57,379 --> 00:09:59,033 - WHEN I WAS YOUNG, I SPENT SEVERAL YEARS 264 00:09:59,076 --> 00:10:01,383 AT A PRIVATE SCHOOL WHERE I WAS TOLD 265 00:10:01,426 --> 00:10:03,733 I WOULD BE TAUGHT TO HARNESS MY MUTANT ABILITIES. 266 00:10:03,777 --> 00:10:05,387 TURNED OUT IT WAS A CONMAN 267 00:10:05,430 --> 00:10:08,520 COPYING CHARLES XAVIER'S SCHOOL FOR GIFTED YOUNGSTERS 268 00:10:08,564 --> 00:10:10,392 FROM THE X-MEN COMIC BOOKS. 269 00:10:10,435 --> 00:10:13,961 TOOK ME YEARS TO FIGURE OUT THAT IT WAS CON. 270 00:10:14,004 --> 00:10:16,485 SOME PEOPLE NEVER FIGURED IT OUT. 271 00:10:16,528 --> 00:10:17,878 - OH, I HAVE A FEW POWERS. 272 00:10:17,921 --> 00:10:19,227 NIGHT HEARING. 273 00:10:19,270 --> 00:10:21,272 DOGS UNDERSTAND WHERE I POINT. 274 00:10:21,316 --> 00:10:23,405 AND OUR TRAINING INCLUDED PICKING CARROTS, 275 00:10:23,448 --> 00:10:27,365 SCRUBBING TUBS, SEWING IMITATION LEVI'S. 276 00:10:27,409 --> 00:10:28,976 A LOT OF TELEMARKETING. 277 00:10:30,238 --> 00:10:32,240 - I DON'T WANNA SIT NEAR ANY OF THOSE PEOPLE 278 00:10:32,283 --> 00:10:33,502 FOR THE NEXT 20 YEARS. 279 00:10:33,545 --> 00:10:35,112 SOMEONE SAY SOMETHING. 280 00:10:35,156 --> 00:10:36,592 - I SAID SOMETHING WHEN THEY WERE 281 00:10:36,636 --> 00:10:37,419 THINKING OF HIRING JIM. 282 00:10:37,462 --> 00:10:38,550 DIDN'T WORK THEN. 283 00:10:38,594 --> 00:10:40,901 AND NOW LOOK WHAT HE'S DOING TO US. 284 00:10:40,944 --> 00:10:42,511 - YEAH, JIM, THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT. 285 00:10:42,554 --> 00:10:44,513 - HOW IS IT MY FAULT? - HERE'S AN EXERCISE 286 00:10:44,556 --> 00:10:45,906 FOR YOU, JIM. 287 00:10:45,949 --> 00:10:48,517 IMAGINE THERE ARE CONSEQUENCES TO YOUR ACTIONS. 288 00:10:48,560 --> 00:10:50,519 IMAGINE THE WHOLE WORLD DOES NOT 289 00:10:50,562 --> 00:10:52,434 REVOLVE AROUND THIS. 290 00:10:52,477 --> 00:10:54,305 THERE ARE OTHERS. 291 00:10:54,349 --> 00:10:56,525 - BUT IT'S DWIGHT WHO'S BRINGING IN ALL THE WEIRDOS. 292 00:10:56,568 --> 00:10:58,266 - YEAH, BUT, JIM, DWIGHT'S A WEIRDO. 293 00:10:58,309 --> 00:11:00,485 WE CAN'T BLAME A WEIRDO FOR BRINGING IN WEIRDOS. 294 00:11:00,529 --> 00:11:03,010 WE CAN BLAME A NORMAL FOR CREATING A SITUATION 295 00:11:03,053 --> 00:11:05,534 WHERE A WEIRDO WAS ALLOWED TO BRING IN WEIRDOS. 296 00:11:05,577 --> 00:11:07,014 - HEY, I'M THE ONE WHO HAS TO SIT 297 00:11:07,057 --> 00:11:09,146 NEXT TO THIS WEIRDO WHEN JIM'S AWAY. 298 00:11:09,190 --> 00:11:11,322 I'M IN A POSITION WHERE I'M ROOTING FOR NATE, 299 00:11:11,366 --> 00:11:14,978 AND THAT JUST FEELS WRONG. 300 00:11:15,022 --> 00:11:16,980 [sighs] FORGET IT. 301 00:11:17,024 --> 00:11:19,243 I NEED TO WORK ON MY MURAL. 302 00:11:19,287 --> 00:11:22,420 I HAVE SOME POINTY TREES THAT I NEED TO ROUND OFF. 303 00:11:30,820 --> 00:11:32,692 - HEY, JIM, I THOUGHT OUR CALL WAS FOR LATER. 304 00:11:32,735 --> 00:11:34,911 - YEAH, THIS IS ACTUALLY ABOUT THE NEW SALES GUY. 305 00:11:34,955 --> 00:11:37,392 DWIGHT HAS BROUGHT IN A BUNCH OF REAL WEIRDOS. 306 00:11:37,435 --> 00:11:39,742 AND I WAS WONDERING IF I COULD HAVE SOME INPUT-- 307 00:11:39,786 --> 00:11:41,613 - THIS IS DWIGHT SCHRUTE. WHO AM I SPEAKING TO? 308 00:11:41,657 --> 00:11:43,180 AND DON'T LIE. I CAN TELL IF YOU'RE LYING. 309 00:11:43,224 --> 00:11:44,442 - HEY, DWIGHT. IT'S DAVID. 310 00:11:44,486 --> 00:11:46,053 - DAVID. - JIM SAYS HE'D LIKE 311 00:11:46,096 --> 00:11:48,446 SOME SAY IN THE HIRING PROCESS. 312 00:11:48,490 --> 00:11:50,622 - REALLY? THAT'S INTERESTING. 313 00:11:50,666 --> 00:11:52,624 'CAUSE I WAS THINKING THAT SINCE 314 00:11:52,668 --> 00:11:54,235 JIM IS ONLY HERE PART-TIME, 315 00:11:54,278 --> 00:11:56,585 HE MIGHT NOT BE AS INVESTED IN THE DECISION MAKING PROCESS 316 00:11:56,628 --> 00:11:58,500 AS SOMEONE LIKE ME WHO'S HERE EVERY DAY 317 00:11:58,543 --> 00:12:00,110 AND, FRANKLY, KILLING IT LATELY. 318 00:12:00,154 --> 00:12:01,721 - I WAS JUST THINKING THAT BECAUSE THIS PERSON 319 00:12:01,764 --> 00:12:04,288 IS GONNA BE SITTING AT MY DESK, NEAR MY WIFE-- 320 00:12:04,332 --> 00:12:05,550 - JIM, ANOTHER THING. 321 00:12:05,594 --> 00:12:06,900 SINCE WE ARE GONNA HAVE TO HIRE 322 00:12:06,943 --> 00:12:09,250 THIS JUNIOR SALES ASSOCIATE TO COVER FOR YOU, 323 00:12:09,293 --> 00:12:10,686 I AM GOING TO HAVE TO PAY YOU 324 00:12:10,730 --> 00:12:14,124 ONLY FOR THE DAYS THAT YOU ACTUALLY WORK. 325 00:12:14,168 --> 00:12:16,779 - OH. UM-- - YEAH. 326 00:12:16,823 --> 00:12:19,739 - OKAY. I CAN'T SAY THAT THAT'S NOT FAIR. 327 00:12:19,782 --> 00:12:21,131 - SOUNDS FAIR TO ME, DAVID. 328 00:12:21,175 --> 00:12:22,742 - AND I KNOW WE HAVE A CALL SCHEDULED FOR LATER-- 329 00:12:22,785 --> 00:12:24,221 - OH, YEAH, SO WE'LL JUST DO THAT LATER. 330 00:12:24,265 --> 00:12:25,657 - NO. WHY NOT DO IT NOW? 331 00:12:25,701 --> 00:12:27,790 - YEAH. WHAT'S UP, JIM? 332 00:12:27,834 --> 00:12:29,749 - UH-- [clears throat] 333 00:12:29,792 --> 00:12:32,012 WELL, IT'S ABOUT ATHLEAD. 334 00:12:32,055 --> 00:12:33,187 I'M SORRY. DOES DWIGHT HAVE TO BE 335 00:12:33,230 --> 00:12:34,318 ON THIS PART OF THE PHONE CALL? 336 00:12:34,362 --> 00:12:35,711 - I'D LOVE TO BE IN THE LOOP, DAVID. 337 00:12:35,755 --> 00:12:38,670 - IT'S OKAY. GO AHEAD, JIM. 338 00:12:38,714 --> 00:12:40,803 - THERE'S A VERY EXCITING OPPORTUNITY 339 00:12:40,847 --> 00:12:42,805 TO BE A CORE INVESTOR-- - OKAY. 340 00:12:42,849 --> 00:12:44,372 JIM, I'M GONNA HAVE TO STOP YOU RIGHT THERE. 341 00:12:44,415 --> 00:12:47,288 - YES, OKAY. BYE. 342 00:12:50,030 --> 00:12:51,596 - [whispers] I'D LOVE TO INVEST. 343 00:12:51,640 --> 00:12:52,772 - NO, THANKS. 344 00:12:52,815 --> 00:12:54,730 - I'D LIKE TO GIVE YOU $100 MILLION. 345 00:12:54,774 --> 00:12:56,253 [snickers] 346 00:12:56,297 --> 00:13:00,780 [phone ringing] 347 00:13:03,173 --> 00:13:06,437 - WHY YOU MAKE TREES INTO BUSHES? 348 00:13:06,481 --> 00:13:08,875 YOU DON'T MAKE PAPER FROM BUSHES. 349 00:13:08,918 --> 00:13:11,660 - HIDE, THEY'RE GIVING OUT JOBS UPSTAIRS. 350 00:13:11,703 --> 00:13:12,792 WHY DON'T YOU GO UP AND GET ONE? 351 00:13:12,835 --> 00:13:14,706 - THANK YOU. 352 00:13:14,750 --> 00:13:17,057 - YEAH. 353 00:13:21,104 --> 00:13:22,976 [hand dryer whirring] 354 00:13:23,019 --> 00:13:25,761 - WHOOPS. 355 00:13:32,507 --> 00:13:34,814 - IT'S DENSE, LIKE BREAD. 356 00:13:36,772 --> 00:13:38,252 [chip crunches] 357 00:13:40,254 --> 00:13:41,733 - DWIGHT, YOU CAN'T JUST HIRE SOMEONE 358 00:13:41,777 --> 00:13:43,735 'CAUSE THEY'RE YOUR FRIEND. - I'M NOT. 359 00:13:43,779 --> 00:13:45,389 THESE PEOPLE ARE THE BEST OF THE BEST. 360 00:13:45,433 --> 00:13:47,870 I FIND TALENT AN ATTRACTIVE QUALITY IN A FRIEND. 361 00:13:47,914 --> 00:13:49,263 - THEY'RE FREAKS, DWIGHT. 362 00:13:49,306 --> 00:13:51,874 ALL YOUR FRIENDS ARE WEIRDOS AND FREAKS. 363 00:13:51,918 --> 00:13:53,615 - YOU KNOW WHO ELSE WAS A FREAK? 364 00:13:53,658 --> 00:13:55,138 SPIDER-MAN. 365 00:13:55,182 --> 00:13:56,879 AND HE WAS ALSO A HERO. 366 00:13:56,923 --> 00:13:58,750 - YOUR FRIENDS ARE LIKE SPIDER-MAN, 367 00:13:58,794 --> 00:14:00,665 IF HE HAD GOTTEN BITTEN BY A SPIDER 368 00:14:00,709 --> 00:14:03,799 AND THEN GOT REALLY INTO MASTURBATING. 369 00:14:03,843 --> 00:14:06,106 - MAN, HOW COOL IS IT GONNA BE WHEN I START WORKING HERE? 370 00:14:06,149 --> 00:14:07,629 PAINTBALL FIGHTS AT LUNCH. 371 00:14:07,672 --> 00:14:09,544 - MANDATORY PAINTBALL. 372 00:14:09,587 --> 00:14:10,893 UH, WOLF, PLEASE REPORT TO THE PARKING LOT 373 00:14:10,937 --> 00:14:12,764 FOR MANDATORY PAINTBALL AT LUNCH. 374 00:14:12,808 --> 00:14:13,853 WOLF IS HILARIOUS. 375 00:14:13,896 --> 00:14:15,593 HE HAS EXECUTED ME OVER 100 TIMES 376 00:14:15,637 --> 00:14:16,856 AT POINT-BLANK RANGE. 377 00:14:16,899 --> 00:14:18,640 HALF OF 'EM, WE WERE ON THE SAME TEAM. 378 00:14:18,683 --> 00:14:21,512 OH, MY GOD. HOW I SCREAMED. 379 00:14:21,556 --> 00:14:22,862 AH, THAT GOOF. 380 00:14:22,905 --> 00:14:26,300 SELL ME THIS PIECE OF PAPER. 381 00:14:26,343 --> 00:14:27,518 WATCH THIS. 382 00:14:27,562 --> 00:14:28,780 - DO YOU WANT THIS PAPER? 383 00:14:28,824 --> 00:14:29,912 - I SURE DO. 384 00:14:29,956 --> 00:14:31,914 - IT'S NOT VERY GOOD. 385 00:14:31,958 --> 00:14:33,394 - I WILL PAY YOU WHATEVER IT TAKES. 386 00:14:33,437 --> 00:14:34,830 - I THINK I WANNA KEEP IT NOW. 387 00:14:34,874 --> 00:14:37,050 IT MUST BE PRETTY SPECIAL IF YOU WANT IT SO BAD. 388 00:14:37,093 --> 00:14:38,573 - NO, YOU HAVE LOTS OF OTHER PIECES OF PAPER 389 00:14:38,616 --> 00:14:39,791 THAT ARE JUST LIKE IT. 390 00:14:39,835 --> 00:14:40,923 SO HERE, JUST TAKE MY MONEY. 391 00:14:40,967 --> 00:14:41,924 - STOP TRYING TO GET MY PAPER, BUDDY. 392 00:14:41,968 --> 00:14:43,404 OKAY, READ MY LIPS. IT'S OVER. 393 00:14:43,447 --> 00:14:44,927 - OKAY, GOOD. 394 00:14:44,971 --> 00:14:45,797 THAT WAS GREAT. 395 00:14:45,841 --> 00:14:47,843 SO, WOW. 396 00:14:47,887 --> 00:14:49,279 YOU'RE STILL AT THE 570 NUMBER? 397 00:14:49,323 --> 00:14:50,933 - I AM. - OKAY. 398 00:14:50,977 --> 00:14:52,456 GOOD, GOOD, GOOD. 399 00:14:52,500 --> 00:14:54,458 [sighs] 400 00:14:54,502 --> 00:14:56,808 - I HAVE EIGHT YEARS EXPERIENCE 401 00:14:56,852 --> 00:14:59,855 SELLING ELECTRONICS IN SANYO STORE 402 00:14:59,899 --> 00:15:01,552 IN DOWNTOWN TOKYO. 403 00:15:01,596 --> 00:15:02,771 I WAS A DOCTOR. 404 00:15:02,814 --> 00:15:04,338 AND I HAVE A BUSINESS DEGREE 405 00:15:04,381 --> 00:15:07,950 FROM TOKYO UNIVERSITY. 406 00:15:07,994 --> 00:15:10,953 - THIS ISN'T GONNA WORK OUT. 407 00:15:12,563 --> 00:15:15,175 - THANK YOU. [chuckles] 408 00:15:17,917 --> 00:15:21,877 - NATE IS A PROVEN ENTITY, BUT NOT WITHOUT HIS HANDICAPS: 409 00:15:21,921 --> 00:15:24,184 HEARING, VISION, BASIC COGNITION. 410 00:15:24,227 --> 00:15:27,491 TREVOR IS GREAT, BUT I SAW NO FIRE IN HIM TODAY. 411 00:15:27,535 --> 00:15:29,929 AND THIS IS A GUY WHO LOVES TO START FIRES. 412 00:15:29,972 --> 00:15:32,453 TROY IS LITERALLY ONE OF A KIND. 413 00:15:32,496 --> 00:15:33,976 HE'S A GOBLIN, OR A HOBBIT, 414 00:15:34,020 --> 00:15:36,805 OR A KOBOLD, WHICH IS A TYPE OF GREMLIN. 415 00:15:36,848 --> 00:15:38,589 AND YET I'M HESITANT. 416 00:15:38,633 --> 00:15:41,679 WHY I CAN'T I PULL THE TRIGGER ON ANY OF THEM? 417 00:15:41,723 --> 00:15:45,335 [groaning] NO, NO, NO. 418 00:15:45,379 --> 00:15:47,468 I JUST NEED TO TELL THEM. 419 00:15:47,511 --> 00:15:48,991 I JUST NEED TO TELL THEM. 420 00:15:49,035 --> 00:15:52,038 [knock at door] 421 00:15:52,081 --> 00:15:54,127 - DO YOU NEED TO BE CHANGED? 422 00:15:54,170 --> 00:15:55,998 - I DO THAT MYSELF NOW. 423 00:15:56,042 --> 00:15:57,173 - MM. 424 00:15:57,217 --> 00:15:59,132 ARE YOU GOING TO MAKE A DECISION SOON? 425 00:15:59,175 --> 00:16:01,047 I'VE BEEN DOUBLE-PARKED FOR FIVE HOURS. 426 00:16:01,090 --> 00:16:03,136 I'M WONDERING IF I SHOULD MOVE MY CAR. 427 00:16:03,179 --> 00:16:05,007 - NO, YOU'VE BEEN TOWED BY NOW. 428 00:16:05,051 --> 00:16:07,314 THEY TOW AFTER ABOUT 45 MINUTES. 429 00:16:07,357 --> 00:16:08,750 - WELL, THE JOKE'S ON THEM. 430 00:16:08,793 --> 00:16:10,882 I LIVE RIGHT NEXT TO THE TOW YARD. 431 00:16:10,926 --> 00:16:14,060 ALL THEY DID WAS SAVE ME SOME GAS. 432 00:16:14,103 --> 00:16:16,584 - HEY, MAN, WE GET HOW DIFFICULT THIS IS. 433 00:16:16,627 --> 00:16:17,889 AND NO MATTER WHO YOU CHOOSE, 434 00:16:17,933 --> 00:16:19,282 WE'RE STILL GONNA BE YOUR FRIEND. 435 00:16:19,326 --> 00:16:21,023 - YEAH, WHETHER IT'S ME OR TROY UNDERBRIDGE, 436 00:16:21,067 --> 00:16:22,764 OR GABOR, OR MELVINA-- 437 00:16:22,807 --> 00:16:23,939 - OR NONE OF YOU. [chuckles] 438 00:16:23,983 --> 00:16:25,506 - YEAH. YOU'D BRING US ALL DOWN HERE, 439 00:16:25,549 --> 00:16:26,942 PUT US THROUGH THE WRINGER, AND THEN CHOOSE NONE OF US. 440 00:16:26,986 --> 00:16:29,031 - CAN YOU IMAGINE HOW INSULTING THAT WOULD BE? 441 00:16:29,075 --> 00:16:31,120 THE CONTEMPT THAT A PERSON LIKE THAT 442 00:16:31,164 --> 00:16:32,992 WOULD HAVE TO HAVE FOR YOU. 443 00:16:33,035 --> 00:16:35,298 - I WISH I COULD HIRE ALL OF YOU. 444 00:16:35,342 --> 00:16:38,214 - I COULD START MONDAY. 445 00:16:40,521 --> 00:16:42,610 - PSST. JIM. 446 00:16:42,653 --> 00:16:45,569 JIM? 447 00:16:45,613 --> 00:16:48,007 JIM, TURN AROUND. 448 00:16:48,050 --> 00:16:50,009 JIM, TURN AROUND. JIM, TURN AROUND. 449 00:16:50,052 --> 00:16:52,881 - AHH, I LOVE STARING OFF IN ONE DIRECTION. 450 00:16:52,924 --> 00:16:55,231 IF I'M NOT LOOKING SOUTH, I'M NOT LIVIN'. 451 00:16:55,275 --> 00:16:56,928 THAT'S WHAT I ALWAYS SAY. 452 00:16:59,105 --> 00:17:02,064 - JUST ACT NATURAL. 453 00:17:02,108 --> 00:17:04,458 [grunts] 454 00:17:08,766 --> 00:17:11,552 AND I WAS THINKING IT'S ONLY FAIR THAT YOU 455 00:17:11,595 --> 00:17:13,554 HELP MAKE THIS DECISION SINCE THEY'LL BE SITTING 456 00:17:13,597 --> 00:17:15,991 AT YOUR DESK, NEXT TO YOUR WIFE. 457 00:17:16,035 --> 00:17:18,080 - BUT YOU KNOW I WOULDN'T HIRE ANY OF THESE ALL-STARS. 458 00:17:18,124 --> 00:17:19,647 - AAH! 459 00:17:19,690 --> 00:17:22,345 GOD, THAT SUCKS! AAH! 460 00:17:22,389 --> 00:17:23,564 WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO? 461 00:17:23,607 --> 00:17:25,261 I MEAN, IT'S YOUR CALL. - NOPE. 462 00:17:25,305 --> 00:17:27,698 YOUR FRIENDS NOT TURNING OUT TO BE AS GREAT AS YOU THOUGHT? 463 00:17:27,742 --> 00:17:28,960 NOT EVEN GABOR? 464 00:17:29,004 --> 00:17:30,397 - I GUESS I JUST HAVE HIGHER STANDARDS 465 00:17:30,440 --> 00:17:32,921 FOR MY WORK COLLEAGUES THAN FOR MY FRIENDS. 466 00:17:32,964 --> 00:17:34,575 I JUST COULDN'T PICTURE ANY OF THEM 467 00:17:34,618 --> 00:17:36,098 IN THE OLD GOLD AND GRAY. 468 00:17:36,142 --> 00:17:37,360 - I KNEW IT. 469 00:17:37,404 --> 00:17:39,014 YOU DESIGNED A UNIFORM FOR DUNDER MIFFLIN. 470 00:17:39,058 --> 00:17:41,973 - SUMMER. WINTER. 471 00:17:42,017 --> 00:17:46,108 JUNGLE. FORMAL. 472 00:17:46,152 --> 00:17:47,675 - WELL, I, FOR ONE, WAS AMAZED 473 00:17:47,718 --> 00:17:49,764 AT HOW QUALIFIED EVERYONE WAS. YOU? 474 00:17:49,807 --> 00:17:51,200 - YES. THANK YOU. - AMAZED. 475 00:17:51,244 --> 00:17:53,420 AND I GOTTA SAY, THIS WAS A TOUGH DECISION. 476 00:17:53,463 --> 00:17:56,466 AND WE HAD TO GO WITH NONE OF YOU. 477 00:17:56,510 --> 00:17:59,121 - I'M SORRY? - WHAT? 478 00:17:59,165 --> 00:18:01,863 THIS IS SUCH BULLCRAP! 479 00:18:01,906 --> 00:18:03,517 - WELL, YOU KNOW, WALLACE PUT ME IN CHARGE, 480 00:18:03,560 --> 00:18:04,735 SO YOU HAVE NO SAY. 481 00:18:04,779 --> 00:18:06,998 - WOW. SO MUCH CRAP. 482 00:18:07,042 --> 00:18:09,175 IT'S JUST A LOAD OF B.C. 483 00:18:09,218 --> 00:18:11,742 HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO THEM? 484 00:18:11,786 --> 00:18:13,135 - TOO MUCH NOW. - OKAY. 485 00:18:13,179 --> 00:18:16,051 - DO WE GET OUR RESUMES BACK OR DO YOU KEEP THEM? 486 00:18:16,095 --> 00:18:18,184 BECAUSE I ONLY HAVE THE ONE, 487 00:18:18,227 --> 00:18:20,099 AND I HAVE A CHILI RECIPE ON THE BACK 488 00:18:20,142 --> 00:18:21,926 THAT I REALLY WANNA KEEP. 489 00:18:21,970 --> 00:18:24,059 - OKAY, THIS IS AN OUTRAGE. 490 00:18:24,103 --> 00:18:26,017 UGH! YOU KNOW WHAT? 491 00:18:26,061 --> 00:18:27,845 THIS IS JIM HALPERT'S HOME ADDRESS, 492 00:18:27,889 --> 00:18:29,020 IN CASE YOU GUYS WANNA 493 00:18:29,064 --> 00:18:30,239 TOILET PAPER HIS HOUSE OR WHATEVER. 494 00:18:30,283 --> 00:18:32,067 - THAT SEEMS INCONSIDERATE. 495 00:18:32,111 --> 00:18:34,200 - NO. WE GET IT. 496 00:18:34,243 --> 00:18:37,159 THANKS SO MUCH FOR THE OPPORTUNITY, DWIGHT. 497 00:18:37,203 --> 00:18:40,119 DON'T OPEN ANY SUSPICIOUS PACKAGES YOU MAY RECEIVE. 498 00:18:40,162 --> 00:18:42,033 NO, WAIT. DO OPEN THEM. 499 00:18:42,077 --> 00:18:44,035 TOTALLY SAFE. 500 00:18:44,079 --> 00:18:45,820 - GUYS, IT WASN'T UP TO ME. 501 00:18:45,863 --> 00:18:48,866 ROLF, COME ON. GUYS, IT WASN'T MY CHOICE! 502 00:18:48,910 --> 00:18:50,172 I WOULD'VE HIRED ALL OF YOU! 503 00:18:50,216 --> 00:18:52,392 GABOR, GABOR. 504 00:18:52,435 --> 00:18:53,958 - WELL, MY DAY'S SHOT. 505 00:18:54,002 --> 00:18:55,438 - YEAH, IT'S THAT WEIRD HOUR WHERE IT'S TOO LATE 506 00:18:55,482 --> 00:18:57,136 TO START A SLOW ROAST AND TOO EARLY FOR A SWANSON'S. 507 00:18:57,179 --> 00:18:59,486 - I GOT IT. PAINTBALL. 508 00:18:59,529 --> 00:19:00,617 - OH, THAT SOUNDS AWESOME. 509 00:19:00,661 --> 00:19:02,097 CAN WE WAIT TILL I GET OFF WORK? 510 00:19:02,141 --> 00:19:04,143 - [yells] AND WHAT ARE WE SUPPOSED TO DO UNTIL THEN? 511 00:19:04,186 --> 00:19:05,840 - OKAY. - LET'S JUST GO, YOU GUYS. 512 00:19:05,883 --> 00:19:08,973 - YEAH. NO LIMIT ON WEAPONS CLASS, RIGHT? 513 00:19:14,240 --> 00:19:17,243 - ALL RIGHT. I THINK THAT WENT WELL. 514 00:19:20,594 --> 00:19:22,465 SO, UH, IF YOU JUST TAKE A LOOK AT THIS, 515 00:19:22,509 --> 00:19:24,119 AND THEN THAT'LL PRINT OUT-- HEY. 516 00:19:24,163 --> 00:19:25,425 MEET YOUR NEW DESK MATE. 517 00:19:25,468 --> 00:19:27,557 - WHAT'S UP, GOOD-LOOKIN'? - OH, COOL. 518 00:19:27,601 --> 00:19:29,037 HEY, CLARK. 519 00:19:29,080 --> 00:19:31,082 - TRUST ME, THIS IS THE LEAST OF ALL EVILS. 520 00:19:31,126 --> 00:19:33,128 IT TOOK ME ALL DAY TO PULL THIS OFF, 521 00:19:33,172 --> 00:19:34,738 SO YOU SHOULD BE THRILLED, CONSIDERING. 522 00:19:34,782 --> 00:19:36,262 - YEAH, I GUESS. 523 00:19:36,305 --> 00:19:39,178 I MEAN, I KINDA LIKED MY OLD DESK MATE. 524 00:19:39,221 --> 00:19:41,092 - OKAY. 525 00:19:41,136 --> 00:19:42,268 I'M REALLY SORRY I TOLD THE GUYS 526 00:19:42,311 --> 00:19:44,313 I'D BE THERE FOR THE BOARD MEETING. 527 00:19:44,357 --> 00:19:45,575 - OF COURSE. 528 00:19:45,619 --> 00:19:46,620 - I'LL CALL YOU WHEN I GET THERE. 529 00:19:46,663 --> 00:19:47,795 - ALL RIGHT. BYE. 530 00:19:47,838 --> 00:19:48,839 - ALL RIGHT. TAKE CARE OF MY WIFE. 531 00:19:48,883 --> 00:19:50,014 I WILL BE BACK. 532 00:19:50,058 --> 00:19:51,755 [computer chimes] 533 00:19:59,502 --> 00:20:01,374 - THEY SAY THAT EVERYONE OUTGROWS THEIR FRIENDS 534 00:20:01,417 --> 00:20:03,114 AT SOME POINT IN THEIR LIVES. 535 00:20:03,158 --> 00:20:05,639 WELL, I JUST OUTGREW THEM ALL 536 00:20:05,682 --> 00:20:08,685 IN THE SPAN OF THREE HOURS. 537 00:20:08,729 --> 00:20:10,209 - HEY, PAM, I'M GOING TO THE KITCHEN. 538 00:20:10,252 --> 00:20:12,211 YOU WANT ANYTHING? - I'M GOOD. 539 00:20:12,254 --> 00:20:13,299 - OH, HEY, I'LL TAKE A COFFEE. 540 00:20:13,342 --> 00:20:14,604 - OH, I'M SORRY. 541 00:20:14,648 --> 00:20:17,738 YOU GOTTA BE THIS COOL FOR COFFEE. 542 00:20:23,134 --> 00:20:24,832 - [scoffs] 543 00:20:27,095 --> 00:20:28,139 - HEY, DWIGHT. 544 00:20:28,183 --> 00:20:30,577 WANNA HAZE THE NEW GUY? 545 00:20:30,620 --> 00:20:32,187 - WHO, ME? 546 00:20:32,231 --> 00:20:34,145 - US. 547 00:20:34,189 --> 00:20:36,278 - ABSOLUTELY, I DO. 548 00:20:36,322 --> 00:20:38,280 - [giggles] OKAY. 549 00:20:38,324 --> 00:20:41,675 OKAY, HERE. 550 00:20:41,718 --> 00:20:44,286 OKAY, SO THE NEXT TIME HE GOES TO THE BATHROOM, 551 00:20:44,330 --> 00:20:46,114 I'LL DISTRACT HIM, YOU TAKE THAT. 552 00:20:46,157 --> 00:20:48,247 - OKAY, YEAH, I KNOW WHAT TO DO. OKAY. 553 00:20:48,290 --> 00:20:50,727 OH, THAT'S GREAT. - [shushes] 554 00:20:50,771 --> 00:20:53,295 - [laughs] 555 00:20:57,343 --> 00:20:58,387 - AAH! - NO! 556 00:20:58,431 --> 00:21:00,781 - WELCOME TO THE CLUB, PIG! [laughs] 557 00:21:00,824 --> 00:21:04,437 - NO, DWIGHT! - AAH! 558 00:21:04,480 --> 00:21:05,916 - NO, IT DOES MATTER WHO ENDS UP 559 00:21:05,960 --> 00:21:07,657 SITTING NEXT TO PAM WHEN I'M GONE. 560 00:21:07,701 --> 00:21:09,572 THE PEOPLE AROUND YOU ARE BASICALLY 561 00:21:09,616 --> 00:21:11,792 WHO YOU END UP SPENDING YOUR LIFE WITH. 562 00:21:11,835 --> 00:21:13,707 I MEAN, BECAUSE OF WHERE MY DESK WAS, 563 00:21:13,750 --> 00:21:15,796 I SPENT ALL THOSE YEARS LOOKING AT PAM, 564 00:21:15,839 --> 00:21:17,188 AND I FELL IN LOVE. 565 00:21:17,232 --> 00:21:21,236 SO, THAT STUFF MATTERS. DEFINITELY DOES.