- NO, YOU LIED TO ME, ANDY.
YOU PRETENDED TO BE IN THIS OFFICE FOR THREE MONTHS,
AND YOU WERE SAILING ON YOUR BOAT.
- I RESENT THAT. I NEVER LIED TO YOU.
- REALLY?
"HEY, DAVID, ALL IS GOOD IN SCRANTON, P.A."
- AND ALL WAS GOOD IN SCRANTON, P.A., THAT DAY.
- "BY THE WAY, OSCAR SAYS HI."
- OSCAR SAYS HI ALL THE TIME.
HE SAYS ALL KINDS OF GREETINGS--
HI, HELLO, HOLA.
YOU'RE TELLING ME YOU'VE NEVER HEARD OSCAR SAY HI?
- ANDY-- - YOU'RE CALLING ME A LIAR?
- ANDY-- - BY THE WAY, THAT REMINDS ME.
I WANT TO ASK YOU ABOUT SOME OF THE LIES
YOU'VE BEEN TELLING ME LATELY. - WATCH IT, ANDY.
- OH, HERE WE GO. JANUARY 7, 2013.
"HEY, ANDY, ALL'S WELL.
BEEN MEANING TO MAKE IT DOWN THERE, BUT MY WIFE'S SICK."
WELL, WHICH IS IT?
IS ALL WELL, OR IS YOUR WIFE SICK?
BUSTED! - MY WIFE?
- THIS HAS BEEN A REALLY TOUGH TIME.
- YEAH? - YEAH.
- HAS IT? - ERIN JUST DUMPED ME,
AND I CAN'T REMEMBER
ANY OF THE "AHA" MOMENTS I HAD ON THE BOAT,
AND I KNOW IT SOUNDS WEIRD TO SAY,
BUT I REALLY MISS MY BEARD. - SHH.
- IT WAS LIKE A SECURITY BLANKET.
- ANDY, SHH.
I'M NOT GONNA FIRE YOU.
- YOU'RE NOT?
- NO. - THAT'S AWESOME.
- I WOULDN'T OWN THE COMPANY IF IT WASN'T FOR YOU.
SO I OWE YOU THAT.
- DAVID, I'LL BE THERE FOR YOU.
THESE FIVE WORDS I SWEAR TO YOU.
WHEN YOU BREATHE, I WANT TO BE THE AIR FOR YOU.
I'LL BE THERE FOR YOU.
THAT'S A POEM BY J.B. JOVI.
I WANT YOU TO HAVE IT.
- WE ARE EVEN NOW.
UNDERSTAND?
GOT IT? - CRYSTAL.
- AND YOU ARE ON VERY-- HEY.
VERY THIN ICE.
- VANILLA.
VANILLA ICE. HE WAS A BAND.
[cheerful music]
♪
- GOOD MORNING. - GOOD MORNING.
- AND HOW ARE YOU ON THIS FINE D...
[weeps]
OKAY. AHEM.
WE READY?
DON'T USE THAT PART.
LAST WEEK, ERIN TOLD ME THAT OUR RELATIONSHIP
WILL BE PROCEEDING WITHOUT ME. AHEM.
NOW I HAVE TO SEE HER EVERY DAY AT WORK,
WHICH IS BRUTAL.
WHEN PEOPLE SAY OFFICE RELATIONSHIPS ARE A GOOD IDEA,
THEY NEVER TALK ABOUT WHAT MIGHT HAPPEN IF YOU BREAK UP.
[moaning]
[wailing]
- HE SOUNDS LIKE A WOUNDED ANIMAL.
- SHOULD HAVE PUT HIM OUT OF HIS MISERY AND JUST FIRED HIM.
- I CAN'T BE AROUND SAD PEOPLE. IT MAKES ME SAD.
- I'M THE SAME WAY WITH HORNY PEOPLE.
- OKAY.
- [moaning]
- YES, PETE AND I HAVE STARTED SEEING EACH OTHER,
AND ANDY STILL DOESN'T KNOW.
WE THOUGHT THAT KEEPING IT SECRET
WAS MORE CONSIDERATE TO HIM. [Andy sobbing]
AND HOT FOR US.
I MEAN, I SAW PETE'S BUTT.
IT'S SICK.
- OH, THAT'S MINE.
I'LL JUST--I'LL GET IT OUT OF THE WAY FOR YOU.
- JIM SET UP A JOB INTERVIEW FOR ME TODAY IN PHILLY.
IT'S WITH A REAL ESTATE COMPANY,
WHICH IS A GREAT FIT FOR ME,
BECAUSE I LIVE IN A HOUSE,
AND I KNOW WHAT A BATHROOM IS.
I'M SORRY. I AM JUST VERY NERVOUS
BECAUSE, HONESTLY, THIS IS ALL MOVING A LOT FASTER
THAN I EXPECTED AND--AND BECAUSE
MY RESUME CAN FIT ON A POST-IT NOTE.
- NO, DON'T JUST LET HER EAT THE GRASS.
SHE'LL PUKE IT RIGHT UP.
OKAY, JUST PUT OUT TWO BOWLS
AND SEE WHICH FEED SHE PREFERS.
I'M SORRY TO BE TAKING UP
SO MUCH OF YOUR PRECIOUS TIME, MOSE,
BUT SHE'S YOUR AUNT TOO.
FINE. I'LL SEE WHAT I CAN DO.
[coin dropping]
- I NEED YOU. - DAH! DWIGHT.
- AND YOU SHOULD TAKE BREAKS MORE OFTEN.
I'VE BEEN WAITING THERE FOR 45 MINUTES.
- WHAT? WHAT IS IT?
- IT'S MY AUNT SHIRLEY.
SHE'S ON HER LAST LEGS.
- DWIGHT, THAT'S AWFUL. - YOU HAVE NO IDEA.
I MEAN, HER HAIR, HER CLOTHES, IT'S ALL FALLING OFF
IN GREAT, BIG CLUMPS.
AND WE NEED SOMEONE TO GO OUT THERE AND CLEAN HER UP.
WE HAD A NURSE, BUT SHE QUIT
BECAUSE SHE WAS "POISONED" BY AUNT SHIRLEY.
- WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY "POISON"?
- PROBABLY NOTHING.
OR STRYCHNINE.
OR LEMONADE AND STRYCHNINE, WHICH IS ACTUALLY WHAT IT WAS.
- OKAY, WELL, I'M VERY SORRY ABOUT YOUR AUNT.
- THANK YOU. - BUT I DON'T SEE
HOW THIS IS MY PROBLEM.
- ANGELA, YOU OWE ME ONE. REMEMBER?
NOW, PLEASE.
SHE'S AN OLD WOMAN, ANGELA.
SHE NEEDS A WOMAN'S TOUCH.
IT'S ALL HANGING OUT... - UGH.
- AND THERE'S PARTS OF HER I DON'T EVEN RECOGNIZE.
THERE'S THIS ONE HANGING PART IN PARTICULAR
THAT'S SOME SORT OF FLAP. - IT'S FINE.
- IT'S LIKE A PREHENSILE WING OR SOMETHING.
I DON'T KNOW, BUT IT'S-- - OH, GOD. ALL RIGHT.
I CAN'T--OKAY.
I'LL HELP YOU. - THERE'S A DIVOT WHERE IT WAS,
AND IT NEEDS-- IT NEEDS...
- WHERE ARE YOU GOING?
- NOT ON A THREE-MONTH BOAT TRIP.
- OH, BURN. HA. UH, EXCUSE ME.
WHAT, EVERYONE CAN JUST LEAVE WHENEVER THEY WANT NOW?
- HOW DARE YOU?
- I'M STILL THE BOSS.
[inhales]
THE ANSWER IS YES.
- I JUST HAVE SOME MESSAGES FOR YOU.
- ARE THEY FROM YOU?
- WELL, NO, THEY'RE FROM CLIENTS.
- WELL, THEN I DON'T WANT THEM.
YOU CAN KEEP 'EM.
IN FACT, YOU CAN KEEP THAT BIG, BLUE NAUTICA SWEATER.
I KNOW HOW MUCH YOU LOVE IT. - I CAN'T.
- NO, I INSIST UPON IT. IT'S AN AWESOME SWEATER.
SOME GREAT MEMORIES TIED UP IN THAT THING.
- THESE ARE MESSAGES
FROM CLIENTS WHO WANT TO BUY PAPER.
- I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT WORK RIGHT NOW.
- WELL, I ONLY WANT TO TALK ABOUT WORK RIGHT NOW.
- THEN I WANT MY BIG, BLUE SWEATER BACK.
- WELL, I GAVE IT TO THE SALVATION ARMY.
- I'VE GOT THIS SEAT ADJUSTED RIGHT...
- PERFECT--YEAH. - SO I CAN PUT THIS...
- SHE GOT RID OF IT.
MY BLUE SWEATER.
WHAT IS THAT ABOUT?
- I WAS JUST LEAVING. - STAY.
WE ARE IN THE BRO ZONE LAYER.
OKAY, NARD DOG, PLOP, AND CLARKER POSEY,
A.K.A. CLARKWORK ORANGE.
HERE'S THE SITCH. ERIN DUMPED ME, NATCH,
BUT SHE GOT RID OF MY BLUE SWEATER,
WHICH WAS HER FAVORITE.
IS SHE MOVING ON A LITTLE FAST,
OR AM I BEING A TOTAL PSYCHO?
PLOP, YOU GO FIRST.
- I DON'T KNOW. WOMEN DO TEND TO MOVE ON
QUICKER THAN MEN.
- SURVEY SAYS... [makes buzzer sound]
DOESN'T MAKE ME FEEL BETTER AT ALL.
- SORRY.
- ZERO CLARK THIRTY, WHAT DO YOU GOT?
- WELL, LOOK AT IT THIS WAY.
BEING A BACHELOR IS NOT ALL BAD.
I MEAN, YOU GOT YOUR FREEDOM NOW.
- LAST NIGHT I ORDERED A PIZZA BY MYSELF,
AND I ATE IT OVER THE SINK LIKE A RAT.
- THERE YOU GO. GOOD FOR YOU.
- NO.
- YOU'RE JUST LETTING IT ALL HANG OUT.
THAT'S WHAT...
- IT MAY NOT SEEM LIKE IT, BUT THIS REALLY HELPED,
SO THANK YOU. - COOL.
I'LL GIVE YOU $100 TO WEAR THAT SWEATER TO WORK TOMORROW.
- AUNT SHIRLEY, HELLO, IT'S ME, DWIGHT.
- OH, LOOKY HERE. IT'S BIG CITY DWIGHT.
CAREFUL YOU DON'T GET MUD ON THOSE FANCY TOWN SHOES,
BIG CITY DWIGHT.
- HELLO, AUNT SHIRLEY.
- WHO'S THIS LITTLE KITCHEN WITCH?
SHE'S SO TINY, LIKE A LITTLE KITCHEN WITCH.
- THIS IS ANGELA, AND WE BROUGHT YOU SOME NEW CLOTHES.
- NEW CLOTHES? WHAT FOR?
- OH, DEAR GOD. OKAY. - OH. OH, MY GOD.
- YOU KNOW WHAT, BEFORE YOU PUT THE NEW CLOTHES ON,
ANGELA'S GONNA GET YOU CLEANED UP A LITTLE BIT.
- YES. HOW WOULD YOU LIKE A NICE, WARM BATH?
- HOW WOULD YOU LIKE A MEAN, COLD SLAP?
- OW!
- OKAY, AUNT SHIRLEY, DEAR,
CAN I GET YOU A NICE, CRISP LITER OF SCHNAPPS?
- I COULD DO THAT. - OKAY.
- NO. NO. - YEAH, TRUST ME.
- NO. - IT KEEPS HER DOCILE.
GO TO THE KITCHEN, GET THE LARGEST RECEPTACLE YOU CAN FIND.
- STEP ON IT.
- WHY DOESN'T ERIN SEEM SAD?
- [giggles] [phone chimes]
- HAS SHE FOUND SOMEONE NEW OR SOMETHING?
AND IF SO, WHY HASN'T SHE TOLD ME?
IS SHE TRYING TO SPARE MY FEELINGS?
DURING BREAKUPS, THE MIND GOES TO SOME CRAZY, DARK PLACES.
- ANDY, DON'T.
NO GOOD CAN COME FROM SNOOPING.
- I'M NOT SNOOPING.
THERE'S JUST SOME CRUD ON HER SCREEN.
- YOU'RE CLEARLY SNOOPING.
- THAT'S KIND OF UNCOOL, MAN. - ANDY.
- AW, COME ON. - THAT'S HER PRIVATE PROPERTY.
- BOO! - UH, HELLO?
WHO'S SNOOPING ON WHO NOW?
- WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN?
- EVERYONE, JUST... - WHAT'S IT SAY?
- PLEASE STOP. - PUT IT DOWN.
- COME ON, ANDY. - YEAH, PUT IT DOWN.
- THAT'S HER PRIVATE PROPERTY.
- OH, MY GOD.
- SEE? - THAT'S WHAT NOSY'LL GET YOU.
- TOLD YOU SO.
- IT JUST DOESN'T MAKE ANY SENSE.
- DARRYL, CLARK, KEVIN, TOBY, PLOP,
TAKE A KNEE.
ALL RIGHT, YOU GUYS ARE GONNA THINK I'M PSYCHO AGAIN.
COULDN'T SHAKE THIS FEELING
THAT ERIN'S DATING SOMEONE, SO I LOOKED AT HER PHONE.
- MAN, YOU CAN'T DO THAT STUFF.
YOU'LL ONLY FIND PAIN.
WHEN MY EX-WIFE GOT INTO MY EMAIL ACCOUNT,
SHE WAS DEVASTATED.
- TOO LATE.
I FOUND OUT SHE'S BEEN TEXTING A GUY NAMED PETE.
DOES ANYBODY KNOW A PETE?
- PETE. - HMM.
- PETE WHAT?
- IT JUST OCCURRED TO ME THAT ANDY
HAS BEEN CALLING ME PLOP FOR SO LONG,
HE FORGOT MY REAL NAME... WHICH IS PETE.
- HELLO.
- HEY. THERE SHE IS.
- [chuckles]
- HOW YOU DOING? - HI.
HEY, DO I LOOK OKAY?
- YOU LOOK GREAT. - OKAY.
- YEAH. - WHAT'S THAT?
IS THAT A-- - OKAY, I KNOW
WHERE YOU'RE GOING WITH THIS, AND THIS IS WHO I AM NOW.
I'M A DOUCHE.
BUT LOOK WHAT I CAN DO WITH MY HANDS.
- [giggles] - GOTTA GO.
VIP JUST WALKED THROUGH THE DOOR.
- HOW ARE YOU, ISAAC? YOU HAVE SOMETHING IN YOUR EAR.
- IT'S A PHONE.
- YES, IT IS, AND THANK YOU SO MUCH
FOR SETTING UP THIS OPPORTUNITY.
I REALLY APPRECIATE IT. - OF COURSE.
ANYTHING FOR TEAM HALPERT.
YOU'RE GONNA CRUSH IT, PAM.
- THANKS.
- YOU ARE GONNA CRUSH IT. - MM.
- WOW, I MISSED YOU.
- WAIT, ARE YOU SAYING THAT INTO THE PHONE,
OR ARE YOU SAYING THAT TO ME? - CALL YOU RIGHT BACK.
WHAT WERE YOU SAYING?
- HA-HA.
- AW. - HEY, JIM.
WE GOT TRENT EDWARDS ON THE LINE.
- I'VE GOTTA GO. - OKAY.
- BUT YOU KNOW WHAT, TEAM HALPERT, OKAY?
YOU'RE GONNA CRUSH IT.
YOU'RE GONNA SMASH IT.
OKAY.
GOOD LUCK. - BYE.
- GOD, SHE DRANK SO MUCH.
AND SO QUICKLY.
- MM. IN HER PRIME, SHIRLS COULD PUT AWAY HOMEMADE SCHNAPPS
MORNING, NOON, AND NIGHT. - [coughs and laughs]
- NOW ALL IT TAKES IS 1/2 LITER.
SHE'S DREAMING. ALL RIGHT.
LET'S GET HER OUT TO THE YARD, SO YOU CAN SPRAY HER DOWN.
- SPRAY HER DOWN?
- NO, IT'S A LOT BETTER THAN IT SOUNDS.
THERE'S A PRIVATE SHOWER AREA,
VERY TASTEFUL, VERY RUSTIC.
- HEY.
- COME ON IN. HAVE A SEAT.
UH, THANKS FOR COMING IN.
I JUST GOT TO GET SOMETHING OFF MY CHEST.
I JUST GOT SOME REALLY WEIRD NEWS, AND, UH,
I'M JUST GONNA COME OUT AND SAY IT.
I JUST GOT OFF THE PHONE WITH MY DOCTOR,
AND TURNS OUT I CONTRACTED CH-LAMYDIA FROM ERIN.
AND IT'S INCURABLE.
PRETTY LAME, HUH?
- YEAH.
YOU WERE GONE...
- I KNEW IT!
- FOR A LONG TIME, ANDY. - YOU AND ERIN ARE F...
- ANDY, JUST SO YOU KNOW,
THERE WAS NO OVERLAP.
- NO OVERLAP? GREAT.
GOOD. WOW.
THIS IS SUDDENLY SO EASY.
GUESS WHAT. YOU'RE FIRED.
- WHAT? - YEAH.
YOU ARE FIRED.
ONE OF THE PERKS OF BEING BOSS.
I CAN FIRE ANYONE WHO STEALS MY GIRLFRIEND.
AND, WOW, THAT TURNS OUT TO BE YOU.
YUP, SORRY.
♪ SO YOU HAD A BAD DAY - ANDY.
- ♪ THE CAMERA DON'T LIE - ANDY.
- ♪ YOU'RE A BIG IDIOT, GET OUT OF MY OFFICE ♪
- ANDY. - ♪ TURNS OUT YOU'RE FIRED
♪ BECAUSE YOU SUCK AND YOU'RE FIRED ♪
- IF YOU WANT TO TALK TO ME... - ♪ YOU HAD A BAD DAY
- I'LL BE IN THE ANNEX, ALL RIGHT?
I'M GONNA BE IN THE ANNEX.
- [scatting] - TOBY.
- YOU CAN'T FIRE PETE.
YOU UNDERSTAND WHY, RIGHT? - NO.
- ANDY, WE HAD THIS EXACT SAME CONVERSATION
WHEN YOU WANTED TO GET RID OF NELLIE.
YOU CAN'T JUST GET RID OF PEOPLE OVER GRUDGES.
- NELLIE WAS A PROFESSIONAL GRUDGE.
THIS IS A PURELY PERSONAL GRUDGE.
- ALL RIGHT, WELL, LOOK, WHILE I HAVE YOU,
THIS IS A RELATIONSHIP DISCLOSURE FORM
FOR PETE AND ERIN.
- THEY ALREADY HAVE A CONTRACT?
"MUTUALLY AGREE TO..."
EVERY PHRASE IS LIKE A DAGGER IN MY CROTCH.
- IT'S JUST BOILERPLATE. YOU DON'T HAVE TO READ IT.
- WELL, I'M NOT SIGNING AWAY MY RIGHTS.
- I ALREADY SIGNED IT.
I WAS JUST SHOWING YOU.
- OKAY, WELL, WE'LL SEE ABOUT THAT.
- ANDY, THAT'S NOT THE ORIGINAL.
AND DESTROYING IT WILL NOT STOP THEM FROM DATING.
ANDY.
IT'S THE ORIGINAL.
- ♪ IF THEY'RE TALKING CHESTER AVENUE ♪
♪ TALKING TRIPLEX
♪ TALKING CONVERTING
IS THAT HER?
HEY, GUYS.
SAY SOMETHING. I SAID-- - HELLO.
- HI, I'M MARK. - HI. PAM. HELLO.
- I'M THE HORRIBLE BOSS AROUND HERE,
BUT PLEASE DON'T HIRE JAMIE FOXX TO KILL ME.
♪ DJANGO
I DON'T AGREE WITH THE USE OF THE N-WORD IN THAT MOVIE.
IT'S TOO SOON.
- I'M PAM HALPERT. - OH. HI.
- THEY CALL ME MARKY MARK AROUND HERE,
BECAUSE HERE AT SIMON REALTY,
WE ARE ONE FUNKY BUNCH.
COME ON, YOU GUYS.
RAISE THE ROOF WHEN I SAY THAT.
WHAT ARE YOU, ALL TEMPS AGAIN TODAY?
[whistles] LET'S GO, GANGNAM STYLE.
[laughs] HE'S HEARD GANGNAM STYLE.
HE KNOWS IT. RIGHT?
THAT'S 'CAUSE HE'S AMERICAN.
THIS IS CARL.
HE'S, UH, FROM HERE.
HE'S FROM... OUR NECK OF THE WOODS.
BUT GANGNAM STYLE IS GREAT, ISN'T IT?
- OH, MY GOD. HE'S MICHAEL SCOTT.
- THIS IS NOT SO MUCH AN OFFICE
AS IT IS A REC ROOM WITH A BUNCH OF COMPUTERS IN IT.
AND FRANKLY, IF I HAD MY WAY,
I'D TOSS THE COMPUTERS IN THE "GAR-BAHGE,"
BUT UNFORTUNATELY, WE USE THEM
FOR PRACTICALLY EVERYTHING WE DO, SO...
THAT AIN'T GONNA HAPPEN.
HE'S A TEMP. DON'T WORRY ABOUT HIM.
ALICE!
ALL RIGHT. STAY AWAKE, OKAY?
MY AUNT JOAN.
OH, WELL, SHE--SHE WORKED HERE BEFORE I DID,
SO THERE'S NO NEPOTISM INVOLVED.
IN FACT, TO BE HONEST WITH YOU, I'M PROBABLY A LITTLE HARDER
ON HER THAN I AM ON THE REST OF THESE PEOPLE.
CAN YOU NOT WORK ON THIS?
WORK ON THIS MONTH'S.
OKAY, NANA?
KIEFER?
HI. I, UH--
DID YOU HEAR WHAT I SAID ABOUT DJANGOEARLIER?
'CAUSE I'M WITH SPIKE LEE ON THAT.
WHEN I SAY, "CHILLAX," PEOPLE CHILLAX.
WATCH THIS. HEY, ROGER, CHILLAX.
HE MUST NOT HAVE HEARD ME.
- NO. I HEARD YOU.
- STEP THIS WAY FOR THE SPANISH INQUISITION.
KIDS IN THE HALL.
JUST-- IT'S NOT HIGH PRESSURE.
IT'S JUST A LITTLE [Brooklyn accent] CAWFEE TALK.
OKAY? LIKE BUTTAH.
COME ON IN HERE.
MIKE MYERS. - [mouthing] OH, MY GOD.
- THANK YOU.
THANKS. THANKS A LOT.
REALLY APPRECIATE IT.
YOU GUYS WERE SUPPOSED TO HAVE MY BACK, OKAY?
INSTEAD, YOU LET A GUY NAMED PLOP STEAL MY GIRLFRIEND.
- HEY, BOSS, I DID EVERYTHING I COULD.
I INVITED PETE OUT FOR DRINKS.
I EMAILED HIM SHOTS OF MY JUNK. - UGH.
- KID DOESN'T HAVE A ROMANTIC BONE IN HIS BODY.
- COME ON, ANDY. THEY'RE A GOOD MATCH.
- THAT DOESN'T MATTER, OKAY?
WHAT MATTERS IS THAT I AM HURT.
DEEP HURT INSIDE OF ME.
I DON'T CARE IF THEY'RE ROMEO AND FREAKING JULIET.
I FEEL LIKE THE GUY THAT JULIET DATED BEFORE ROMEO.
PROBABLY HER BOSS.
AND GUESS WHAT,
JULIET'S BOSS ALSO HAD FEELINGS.
- HEY, ANDY. - WHAT?
- YOU GOT A BOOGER BUBBLE GOING ON THERE.
- SORRY.
- THAT'S OKAY.
- MY WHOLE LIFE IS A BOOGER BUBBLE.
- THIS IS A TINY RESUME.
[inhales] PAPA SMURF.
COME BACK TO THE MUSHROOM.
- [chuckles]
- FROM THE SMURFSMOVIE. - YEAH.
I'VE SEEN THAT WITH MY KIDS. IT IS TINY.
BUT I'VE ACTUALLY BEEN COMMISSIONED
BY THE CITY OF SCRANTON TO PAINT A MURAL--
- WHAT DOES THIS SAY HERE? [speaking gibberish]
WHAT LANGUAGE IS THIS?
SWAHILI? OH, WAIT A SECOND.
NOW I CAN READ IT. - OH, 'CAUSE IT WAS UPSIDE-DOWN.
- YOU'RE A GOOD AUDIENCE.
- SO--
- UNLIKE SOME OF THESE PEOPLE AROUND HERE.
- YEAH. THE CITY COMMISSIONED ME TO DO--
- YEAH, WE DON'T HAVE A LOT OF CALL FOR DOODLING AROUND HERE.
BUT I LIKE THIS RESUME, AND HERE'S WHY.
IT SHOWS THAT YOU STICK AROUND.
YEAH, YOU DON'T JUMP SHIP EASILY
LIKE A LOT OF THESE PEOPLE. [sighs]
I MEAN, THEY-- THEY WORSHIP ME, YOU KNOW,
BUT DO THEY LIKE ME?
I MEAN, DO YOU THINK THEY LIKE ME, PAM?
- YES.
- WHAT IF BOB DYLAN WAS YOUR BOSS?
I'M GONNA DO DYLAN.
♪
♪ PAM HALPERT IS MY NAME
♪ I'VE BEEN AT DUNDER MIFFLIN FOR... ♪
SEVEN YEARS? EIGHT YEARS.
♪ EIGHT YEARS, MAN
♪ GOT THE DUNDER MIFFLIN BLUES
♪ GOT THE PAM HALPERT BLUES
♪ GOT PRATT-- WENT TO PRATT INSTITUTE ♪
YOU HAVE CHILDREN? - TWO CHILDREN, YES.
- AND YOU DO ART AND PAINTING? - MM-HMM.
- KIND OF THE SAME THING. ♪ KIND OF THE SAME THING
♪ SOMETIMES I REPEAT MYSELF ♪
♪ BUT THAT'S JUST BEING PAM ♪
♪
♪ WELL, I'M KINDA CUTE
♪ AND I'M... BUT I'M MARRIED, SO... ♪
♪ LEAVE THAT BE
♪ LOOKING FOR-- L-LOOK ♪
HOW DOES DYLAN DO IT?
WHAT IF BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN WAS YOUR BOSS? HEY!