1 00:00:03,003 --> 00:00:06,049 - UH-OH. SHE'S DOING IT AGAIN. 2 00:00:06,093 --> 00:00:09,052 - PHYLLIS HAS GOTTEN INTO AUDIOBOOKS, 3 00:00:09,096 --> 00:00:11,620 AND LATELY SHE'S BEEN LISTENING TO 50 SHADES OF GREY, 4 00:00:11,663 --> 00:00:14,275 WHICH, IF YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT IT IS, 5 00:00:14,318 --> 00:00:17,234 IT'S A BOOK ABOUT, UH, UM-- - IT'S PORN. 6 00:00:17,278 --> 00:00:19,106 - YEAH. 7 00:00:19,149 --> 00:00:20,498 [chair squeaking] 8 00:00:20,542 --> 00:00:23,327 - SERIOUSLY? 9 00:00:23,371 --> 00:00:24,894 THIS IS UNACCEPTABLE. 10 00:00:24,937 --> 00:00:26,939 IT'S OFFICIALLY A HOSTILE WORK ENVIRONMENT. 11 00:00:26,983 --> 00:00:28,202 - WHY? 12 00:00:28,245 --> 00:00:29,507 - SOMEBODY JUST NEEDS TO GET HER ATTENTION, 13 00:00:29,551 --> 00:00:31,292 TELL HER IT'S NOT OKAY TO DO THIS IN PUBLIC. 14 00:00:31,335 --> 00:00:32,945 - BE CAREFUL. I PULLED MY MOM'S DOG 15 00:00:32,989 --> 00:00:34,512 OFF THE PILLOW ONCE, AND I GOT BIT. 16 00:00:34,556 --> 00:00:36,906 - JUST IGNORE HER. SOONER OR LATER, SHE'LL FINISH. 17 00:00:36,949 --> 00:00:38,951 [all groaning] - MEREDITH! GOOD LORD. 18 00:00:38,995 --> 00:00:41,302 - WHAT? - PHYLLIS IS MASTURBATING 19 00:00:41,345 --> 00:00:43,652 IN THE OFFICE RIGHT NOW AS WE SPEAK. 20 00:00:43,695 --> 00:00:46,350 - CAN WE SKIP THE COLOR COMMENTARY AND JUST HAVE ANDY 21 00:00:46,394 --> 00:00:47,917 GO OUT THERE AND FIRE HER? 22 00:00:47,960 --> 00:00:49,484 - HE CAN'T DO THAT. 23 00:00:49,527 --> 00:00:51,355 TURNS OUT SHE'S ALLOWED TO HAVE FEELINGS 24 00:00:51,399 --> 00:00:52,965 OF SEXUAL AROUSAL. 25 00:00:53,009 --> 00:00:54,750 DOESN'T BECOME A VIOLATION 26 00:00:54,793 --> 00:00:56,491 TILL SHE PHYSICALLY ACTS ON IT. 27 00:00:56,534 --> 00:00:58,449 [all exclaim] 28 00:00:58,493 --> 00:01:00,930 - W-W-WAIT, WAIT. WHY IS PHYLLIS SO AROUSED? 29 00:01:00,973 --> 00:01:03,585 - SHE'S LISTENING TO 50 SHADES OF GREY. 30 00:01:03,628 --> 00:01:06,414 - WELL, THERE YOU GO. THAT'S MUY CALIENTE. 31 00:01:06,457 --> 00:01:10,374 - OKAY, YOU ARE USELESS. I'LL TAKE CARE OF THIS. 32 00:01:12,637 --> 00:01:14,291 - [sputters] WHAT THE HELL? 33 00:01:14,335 --> 00:01:16,598 - IT'S OKAY, GUYS. SHE'S NO LONGER HORNY. 34 00:01:16,641 --> 00:01:18,687 - EXCUSE ME, DIRTY BIRDIE. 35 00:01:18,730 --> 00:01:20,210 - WHAT? 36 00:01:20,254 --> 00:01:22,908 - YOU CAN HAVE THIS BACK AT THE END OF THE DAY. 37 00:01:22,952 --> 00:01:24,997 - OKAY. 38 00:01:26,564 --> 00:01:27,565 - [yelps] 39 00:01:27,609 --> 00:01:30,307 [cheerful music] 40 00:01:30,351 --> 00:01:38,098 ♪ 41 00:01:38,141 --> 00:01:40,056 - CLARK, I NEED YOUR ADVICE. 42 00:01:40,100 --> 00:01:41,579 I'M HAVING SOME LADY TROUBLES. 43 00:01:41,623 --> 00:01:44,365 - WHAT'S HER NAME? - ESTHER BRUEGGER. 44 00:01:44,408 --> 00:01:46,628 - SWEET. - LIVES ON THE NEIGHBORING FARM. 45 00:01:46,671 --> 00:01:47,933 85 ACRES. - OH, YEAH. 46 00:01:47,977 --> 00:01:49,239 KEEP TALKING. 47 00:01:49,283 --> 00:01:50,762 - WELL, WE'VE BEEN OUT THREE TIMES. 48 00:01:50,806 --> 00:01:52,547 THERE HAS BEEN PHYSICALITY. 49 00:01:52,590 --> 00:01:54,462 THE THING IS, WE WERE HANGING OUT WITH HER FATHER 50 00:01:54,505 --> 00:01:56,028 THE OTHER NIGHT, LOOKING AT A FARM CATALOGUE, 51 00:01:56,072 --> 00:01:58,683 NEXT THING I KNOW HE WANTS TO LEASE A TRACTOR WITH ME. 52 00:01:58,727 --> 00:02:00,163 - [groans] 53 00:02:00,207 --> 00:02:01,991 [laughs] 54 00:02:02,034 --> 00:02:04,036 - WHAT DO YOU THINK? 55 00:02:04,080 --> 00:02:06,038 - THE SAME THING THAT YOU THINK. 56 00:02:06,082 --> 00:02:09,041 - LONG-TERM TRACTOR LEASES CAN PUT PRESSURE ON A RELATIONSHIP. 57 00:02:09,085 --> 00:02:10,173 - GOD, A LOT OF MY BUDDIES ARE GOING 58 00:02:10,217 --> 00:02:11,609 THROUGH THE SAME THING RIGHT NOW. 59 00:02:11,653 --> 00:02:13,045 SOMETHING IN THE AIR. 60 00:02:13,089 --> 00:02:14,090 - HERE YOU GO. 61 00:02:14,134 --> 00:02:15,918 AND GOOD FOR YOU, DWIGHT. 62 00:02:15,961 --> 00:02:17,572 I'M SO GLAD YOU FOUND SOMEONE. 63 00:02:17,615 --> 00:02:20,183 I BET SHE'S GOT KIND EYES. 64 00:02:20,227 --> 00:02:22,533 DWIGHT IS DATING A BRUSSELS SPROUT FARMER 65 00:02:22,577 --> 00:02:23,926 NAMED ESTHER. 66 00:02:23,969 --> 00:02:26,058 SHE'S COMING HERE THIS AFTERNOON WITH HER FATHER. 67 00:02:26,102 --> 00:02:27,321 WHO KNOWS? 68 00:02:27,364 --> 00:02:29,018 MAYBE SHE'LL BE PULLING THE HORSE CART. 69 00:02:29,061 --> 00:02:31,020 [chuckling] 70 00:02:31,063 --> 00:02:33,936 [amused sigh] 71 00:02:33,979 --> 00:02:36,417 - CECE HAS BEEN CALLING ME PAMELA. 72 00:02:36,460 --> 00:02:37,853 LIKE, FOUR TIMES THIS WEEK. 73 00:02:37,896 --> 00:02:39,159 - OH, MAN. 74 00:02:39,202 --> 00:02:40,595 [chuckles] 75 00:02:40,638 --> 00:02:42,074 - I WONDER IF SHE'LL START CALLING YOU JIM. 76 00:02:42,118 --> 00:02:43,989 - OH, BOY. PLEASE DON'T. 77 00:02:44,033 --> 00:02:47,036 - I KNOW. - LET'S NOT LET THAT HAPPEN. 78 00:02:47,079 --> 00:02:49,995 - [chuckles] UM... 79 00:02:50,039 --> 00:02:53,260 - OH, WHAT WAS I GONNA-- WHAT WAS I GONNA SAY? 80 00:02:53,303 --> 00:02:54,739 - WELL, YOU KNOW, YOUR ASSISTANT TOLD ME 81 00:02:54,783 --> 00:02:56,959 THAT YOU HAVE A BIG PITCH MEETING TODAY. 82 00:02:57,002 --> 00:03:00,005 WITH RYAN HOWARD. HOW DID THAT HAPPEN? 83 00:03:00,049 --> 00:03:01,920 - NOT THAT RYAN HOWARD. 84 00:03:01,964 --> 00:03:04,140 THE PHILLIES FIRST BASEMAN. - OH! OH, OKAY. 85 00:03:04,184 --> 00:03:06,011 - YEAH, YEAH. EXACTLY. 86 00:03:06,055 --> 00:03:08,362 - [sighs] 87 00:03:08,405 --> 00:03:10,233 UM, OKAY. 88 00:03:10,277 --> 00:03:11,669 WELL... - YEAH. 89 00:03:11,713 --> 00:03:13,932 SO I'LL TALK TO YOU LATER? 90 00:03:13,976 --> 00:03:14,890 - YEAH, SOUNDS GOOD. OKAY. 91 00:03:14,933 --> 00:03:15,891 - OKAY, GREAT. - YUP. 92 00:03:15,934 --> 00:03:19,721 both: BYE. 93 00:03:19,764 --> 00:03:22,898 [laughter] 94 00:03:22,941 --> 00:03:24,247 - WHAT'S GOING ON? 95 00:03:24,291 --> 00:03:27,207 OOH, DID GANGNAM STYLE PUT OUT A NEW SONG? 96 00:03:27,250 --> 00:03:28,730 - THERE'S A PROMO FOR THE DOCUMENTARY 97 00:03:28,773 --> 00:03:30,645 ON THE WEB. 98 00:03:30,688 --> 00:03:33,648 - PLAY IT AGAIN. 99 00:03:33,691 --> 00:03:36,433 [upbeat guitar music] 100 00:03:36,477 --> 00:03:39,088 - THE BOSS. [all murmur] 101 00:03:39,131 --> 00:03:41,786 - THERE'S MICHAEL. - THE WORKERS. 102 00:03:46,051 --> 00:03:50,491 THE LIVES. 103 00:03:50,534 --> 00:03:53,407 THE LOVES. 104 00:03:54,973 --> 00:03:57,106 THE PEOPLE. 105 00:04:01,676 --> 00:04:04,244 THE PAPER. 106 00:04:10,467 --> 00:04:13,862 THE OFFICE: AN AMERICAN WORKPLACE. 107 00:04:13,905 --> 00:04:16,604 COMING SOON ON WVIA. 108 00:04:16,647 --> 00:04:18,127 - WHOA. 109 00:04:18,170 --> 00:04:20,825 YOU GO TO THE BATHROOM FOR 45 MINUTES, 110 00:04:20,869 --> 00:04:23,437 AND EVERYTHING CHANGES. 111 00:04:23,480 --> 00:04:25,482 THIS IS A DOCUMENTARY? 112 00:04:25,526 --> 00:04:27,136 OHH. 113 00:04:27,179 --> 00:04:29,617 I ALWAYS THOUGHT WE WERE, LIKE, SPECIMENS 114 00:04:29,660 --> 00:04:31,967 IN A HUMAN ZOO. 115 00:04:34,404 --> 00:04:37,102 [typing on keyboard] 116 00:04:39,366 --> 00:04:41,629 - DID YOU SEE THIS? 117 00:04:41,672 --> 00:04:43,065 [clatter] 118 00:04:43,108 --> 00:04:44,675 - YOUR SCREEN IS ALL BLACK. 119 00:04:44,719 --> 00:04:48,592 YOU JUST UNPLUGGED YOUR COMPUTER. 120 00:04:52,944 --> 00:04:55,033 - OH, MY GOD. IS THAT YOU AND JIM? 121 00:04:55,077 --> 00:04:57,688 - UH-HUH. - JEEZ. 122 00:04:57,732 --> 00:04:59,124 YOU FELL IN LOVE WITH THAT HAIR? 123 00:04:59,168 --> 00:05:00,909 REALLY? [chuckles] 124 00:05:00,952 --> 00:05:03,607 YIKES. 125 00:05:03,651 --> 00:05:07,219 THAT IS AWFUL. 126 00:05:07,263 --> 00:05:09,439 - IT WASN'T SO BAD. 127 00:05:09,483 --> 00:05:10,745 - GUYS, ARE YOU READING THE ONLINE COMMENTS? 128 00:05:10,788 --> 00:05:13,704 SOMEBODY COMMENTED ON MY BANJO PLAYING. 129 00:05:13,748 --> 00:05:15,532 "BANJO AT 0:19 IS A'IGHT." 130 00:05:15,576 --> 00:05:18,622 INTERNET, CALM DOWN! [chuckles] 131 00:05:18,666 --> 00:05:20,668 I MUST HAVE REALLY CONNECTED WITH THIS GUY. 132 00:05:20,711 --> 00:05:22,104 I MEAN, THAT'S A GUY'S NAME, RIGHT? 133 00:05:22,147 --> 00:05:24,149 CHOBBLEGOBBLER? 134 00:05:27,196 --> 00:05:28,763 [elevator dings] 135 00:05:31,200 --> 00:05:32,549 - HEY, MAN, HOW YOU DOING? JIM HALPERT. 136 00:05:32,593 --> 00:05:33,724 - NICE TO MEET YOU. EAT FRESH. 137 00:05:33,768 --> 00:05:35,552 - HEY, MAN. DARRYL. - HEY, MAN. RYAN. 138 00:05:35,596 --> 00:05:37,511 NICE TO MEET YOU. EAT FRESH. 139 00:05:37,554 --> 00:05:39,164 EAT FRESH. [clicks tongue] 140 00:05:39,208 --> 00:05:42,603 - LET'S GO TO THE CONFERENCE ROOM. 141 00:05:44,996 --> 00:05:48,522 - ESTHER'S ON HER WAY UP. I WONDER IF SHE WANTS A SNACK. 142 00:05:48,565 --> 00:05:49,740 LET ME SEE. 143 00:05:49,784 --> 00:05:52,526 I KNOW SHE LIKES APPLES AND CARROTS. 144 00:05:52,569 --> 00:05:53,788 - I BET SHE DOES. 145 00:05:53,831 --> 00:05:55,877 I BET SHE'LL EAT 'EM RIGHT OUT OF YOUR HAND 146 00:05:55,920 --> 00:05:57,661 WITH THOSE BIG, STRONG TEETH. 147 00:05:57,705 --> 00:05:59,881 - DID I TELL YOU ABOUT HER TEETH? 148 00:05:59,924 --> 00:06:01,752 - HEY, DWIGHT, YOU HAVE SOME GUESTS. 149 00:06:01,796 --> 00:06:04,581 I THINK THEY'RE FROM THE FOREST WHERE WE HARVEST OUR PAPER. 150 00:06:06,714 --> 00:06:08,585 - [silently] YES. 151 00:06:08,629 --> 00:06:11,327 - AH, THE BRUEGGER FAMILY. WELCOME. 152 00:06:11,371 --> 00:06:12,676 - FINE OFFICE YOU HAVE HERE. 153 00:06:12,720 --> 00:06:13,808 STURDY WALLS. 154 00:06:13,851 --> 00:06:16,027 - YES. ESTHER. 155 00:06:16,071 --> 00:06:20,684 YOU LOOK RADIANT AS ALWAYS. 156 00:06:20,728 --> 00:06:23,905 - I GUESS MEN FIND ESTHER ATTRACTIVE. 157 00:06:23,948 --> 00:06:25,602 I MEAN, IF THERE ARE CHUBBY CHASERS, 158 00:06:25,646 --> 00:06:30,651 THEN THERE ARE MEN THAT LIKE THAT THING. 159 00:06:30,694 --> 00:06:33,393 - WEIRD TO SEE HOW WE USED TO LOOK IN THOSE PROMOS. 160 00:06:33,436 --> 00:06:35,917 SOME OF US HAVE CHANGED SO MUCH. 161 00:06:35,960 --> 00:06:38,833 - WE'VE ALL CHANGED. 162 00:06:41,749 --> 00:06:43,881 - WITH OUR FIRM, YOU'LL BE BUILDING EQUITY 163 00:06:43,925 --> 00:06:45,666 FOR LONG AFTER THEY RETIRE YOUR NUMBER. 164 00:06:45,709 --> 00:06:48,495 - AND WE ALL KNOW BASEBALL DOES NOT LAST FOREVER. 165 00:06:48,538 --> 00:06:49,844 - I LOOK AT THESE ACTORS ON TV, 166 00:06:49,887 --> 00:06:52,455 AND I THINK, "COME ON. I CAN DO THAT." 167 00:06:52,499 --> 00:06:54,675 - RIGHT? [chuckles]. 168 00:06:54,718 --> 00:06:56,198 - WATCH THIS. 169 00:06:56,241 --> 00:06:57,547 EAT FRESH. 170 00:06:57,591 --> 00:06:59,201 NOW WHAT DOES THAT MAKE YOU THINK OF? 171 00:06:59,244 --> 00:07:01,290 - SUBWAY SANDWICHES. - YEAH. 172 00:07:01,333 --> 00:07:03,553 - HOW? I DIDN'T SAY "SUBWAY SANDWICHES" 173 00:07:03,597 --> 00:07:05,294 IT'S CALLED PLAYING THE SUBTEXT. 174 00:07:05,337 --> 00:07:07,905 - WOW. - I ACTUALLY WROTE A SCREENPLAY. 175 00:07:07,949 --> 00:07:09,733 IT'S CALLED THE BIG PIECE. 176 00:07:09,777 --> 00:07:11,822 - BASED ON HIS NICKNAME. I LIKE IT ALREADY. 177 00:07:11,866 --> 00:07:13,694 LET ME GUESS. IT'S AUTOBIOGRAPHICAL. 178 00:07:13,737 --> 00:07:16,436 - HALF-BIOPIC, HALF-SUPERHERO MOVIE. 179 00:07:16,479 --> 00:07:19,134 THE MILD-MANNERED PROFESSIONAL BASEBALL PLAYER RYAN HOWARD 180 00:07:19,177 --> 00:07:20,527 HITS A HOME RUN... - OKAY. 181 00:07:20,570 --> 00:07:21,919 - INTO OUTER SPACE. 182 00:07:21,963 --> 00:07:23,617 BALL COMES BACK WITH SPACE DUST ON IT, 183 00:07:23,660 --> 00:07:26,489 WHICH TRANSFORMS HIM INTO THE BIG PIECE. 184 00:07:26,533 --> 00:07:27,708 - BIG PIECE. 185 00:07:27,751 --> 00:07:29,536 - THE SPACE DUST DOES IT. - SPACE DUST. 186 00:07:29,579 --> 00:07:30,972 - OKAY. - I ACTUALLY BROUGHT 187 00:07:31,015 --> 00:07:32,582 SOME COPIES OF MY SCRIPT 188 00:07:32,626 --> 00:07:34,149 IF YOU GUYS WANT TO READ IT TOGETHER. 189 00:07:34,192 --> 00:07:36,020 - SURE, YEAH. [chuckles] 190 00:07:36,064 --> 00:07:38,632 ♪ HOLLYWOOD 191 00:07:38,675 --> 00:07:39,981 ALL RIGHT. 192 00:07:40,024 --> 00:07:41,983 - YEAH, WE'RE GONNA READ IT. - OKAY, GREAT. 193 00:07:42,026 --> 00:07:45,595 - ANDY, ARE THERE DOCUMENTARY GROUPIES? 194 00:07:45,639 --> 00:07:46,857 - OF COURSE THERE ARE. 195 00:07:46,901 --> 00:07:48,424 - OF COURSE. 196 00:07:48,468 --> 00:07:49,556 - A LITTLE IRONIC 197 00:07:49,599 --> 00:07:51,209 THAT I'M GONNA BE KIND OF A TV STAR, 198 00:07:51,253 --> 00:07:53,560 BECAUSE MY LAST CHAD FLENDERMAN NOVEL 199 00:07:53,603 --> 00:07:57,781 WAS BASED ON A MURDERED TV STAR. 200 00:07:57,825 --> 00:07:59,957 THE SMALL SCREAM. - OH, I DON'T CARE. 201 00:08:00,001 --> 00:08:02,482 - HEY, GUYS, I JUST FOUND ANOTHER PROMO. 202 00:08:02,525 --> 00:08:04,745 IT'S IN DANISH. - DANISH? 203 00:08:04,788 --> 00:08:06,050 - I GUESS IT'S GONNA START AIRING IN DENMARK. 204 00:08:06,094 --> 00:08:07,574 - OH, MY GOD. 205 00:08:07,617 --> 00:08:10,707 [man speaking Danish] 206 00:08:19,063 --> 00:08:21,631 - WHAT WAS THAT WORD THEY SAID WHEN THEY SHOWED ME? 207 00:08:21,675 --> 00:08:24,504 SKRALD MAND? WHAT'S THAT MEAN IN DANISH? 208 00:08:24,547 --> 00:08:26,636 "COOL GUY?" 209 00:08:26,680 --> 00:08:28,290 - "DUMPSTER MAN." 210 00:08:28,333 --> 00:08:30,553 - COOL. SUPERHERO. 211 00:08:30,597 --> 00:08:31,859 - WHAT ABOUT ME? 212 00:08:31,902 --> 00:08:34,514 - CLOKEN TRE PIGE. - TRE PIGE. 213 00:08:34,557 --> 00:08:36,646 "3:00 P.M. GIRL." 214 00:08:36,690 --> 00:08:38,213 - WHAT? 215 00:08:38,256 --> 00:08:39,736 WHY WOULD THEY-- W--WAIT A SECOND. 216 00:08:39,780 --> 00:08:40,955 WAIT A SECOND. WHAT WAS THAT? 217 00:08:40,998 --> 00:08:43,610 [typing on keyboard] [gasps] 218 00:08:43,653 --> 00:08:45,612 I DIDN'T KNOW THEY WERE FILMING THEN. 219 00:08:45,655 --> 00:08:48,571 - IT LOOKS LIKE THE CAMERAMAN WAS HIDING BEHIND THE SHELVES. 220 00:08:48,615 --> 00:08:50,747 - WAIT, SO THEY WERE FILMING ALL THE TIME, 221 00:08:50,791 --> 00:08:52,444 EVEN WHEN WE DIDN'T KNOW IT? 222 00:08:52,488 --> 00:08:54,055 - OH, MY GOD. 223 00:08:58,668 --> 00:09:02,193 - THERE IS MUCH MORE SECRET FILMING THAN I EXPECTED. 224 00:09:02,237 --> 00:09:03,412 BUT I AM FINE WITH IT. I MEAN IT. 225 00:09:03,455 --> 00:09:04,979 I AM. - ARE YOU KIDDING ME? 226 00:09:05,022 --> 00:09:06,328 IT'S LIKE HALF THE SHOW IS SECRET FOOTAGE. 227 00:09:06,371 --> 00:09:07,938 - I AM A VERY PRIVATE PERSON. 228 00:09:07,982 --> 00:09:09,984 I SHOW 'EM WHEN I WANT TO SHOW 'EM. 229 00:09:10,027 --> 00:09:12,290 WHO WANTS A TASTE? BOOB SAUCE! 230 00:09:12,334 --> 00:09:14,031 - MEREDITH! - COME ON! 231 00:09:14,075 --> 00:09:15,598 - OH, MY GOD. DO THEY FILM US AT NIGHT 232 00:09:15,642 --> 00:09:17,600 WHEN WE'RE SLEEPING? - YES, ERIN. 233 00:09:17,644 --> 00:09:18,732 THEY FILM US AT NIGHT WHEN WE'RE SLEEPING 234 00:09:18,775 --> 00:09:19,776 'CAUSE THAT MAKES GREAT TV. 235 00:09:19,820 --> 00:09:21,125 - HEY. - WHOA, WHOA, WHOA. 236 00:09:21,169 --> 00:09:22,692 - OSCAR. - I'M SORRY, SWEETIE. 237 00:09:22,736 --> 00:09:24,999 THIS WHOLE THING IS JUST FREAKING ME OUT. 238 00:09:25,042 --> 00:09:26,957 I HAVE BEEN VERY HONEST WITH YOU GUYS 239 00:09:27,001 --> 00:09:29,090 IN A WAY THAT COULD SERIOUSLY IMPACT THE POLITICAL CAREER 240 00:09:29,133 --> 00:09:31,092 OF A VERY GOOD FRIEND OF MINE. 241 00:09:31,135 --> 00:09:33,921 YOU'RE NOT GONNA USE ANY OF THAT, ARE YOU? 242 00:09:33,964 --> 00:09:36,271 - PEOPLE, RELAX. 243 00:09:36,314 --> 00:09:38,142 WE ARE KILLING IT ONLINE. 244 00:09:38,186 --> 00:09:39,491 HAVE YOU GUYS CHECKED THE COMMENTS? 245 00:09:39,535 --> 00:09:40,928 SMOKETHATSKINWAGON SAYS, 246 00:09:40,971 --> 00:09:43,495 "YOU GUYS ARE KILLING IT." I MEAN... 247 00:09:43,539 --> 00:09:46,586 WE'RE INTERNET SENSATIONS, GUYS. 248 00:09:46,629 --> 00:09:48,283 - I THINK WE NEED TO FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON. 249 00:09:48,326 --> 00:09:51,025 I MIGHT JUST TAKE A LITTLE WALK. 250 00:09:51,068 --> 00:09:55,159 - YES, A LITTLE WALK SOUNDS LIKE A GOOD IDEA. 251 00:09:55,203 --> 00:09:57,205 - OKAY. 252 00:09:59,424 --> 00:10:03,428 [indistinct whispering] 253 00:10:03,472 --> 00:10:05,082 - OKAY, EVERYONE, TURN OFF YOUR MICS. 254 00:10:12,133 --> 00:10:14,178 - WE NEED TO KNOW MORE. DID THOSE SHOTS HAVE SOUND? 255 00:10:14,222 --> 00:10:16,137 WHAT EXACTLY DID THEY GET ON TAPE? 256 00:10:16,180 --> 00:10:18,443 - I SNEEZED INTO MY HANDS WITHOUT USING PURELL 257 00:10:18,487 --> 00:10:19,706 AND THEN DIPPED INTO THE CANDY JAR. 258 00:10:19,749 --> 00:10:21,359 DID THEY FILM THAT? - MY FIRST WEEK HERE, 259 00:10:21,403 --> 00:10:22,926 I SNEEZED DIRECTLY INTO THE CANDY JAR 260 00:10:22,970 --> 00:10:24,406 BECAUSE I THOUGHT I'D GET MORE-- 261 00:10:24,449 --> 00:10:26,190 I THOUGHT I'D GET MORE SCREEN TIME AS A VILLAIN. 262 00:10:26,234 --> 00:10:28,236 - OKAY, PAM, WHY DON'T YOU VISIT YOUR BUDDY, 263 00:10:28,279 --> 00:10:30,325 THE CREW GUY THAT GOT FIRED, FIND OUT WHAT THEY GOT? 264 00:10:30,368 --> 00:10:31,892 - BRIAN? 265 00:10:31,935 --> 00:10:34,024 - YEAH. - YEAH, I GUESS I COULD. 266 00:10:34,068 --> 00:10:36,113 - HURRY, PAM. I NEED TO KNOW HOW MUCH HELLFIRE 267 00:10:36,157 --> 00:10:37,637 IS GONNA RAIN DOWN ON ME. 268 00:10:37,680 --> 00:10:39,203 - I THOUGHT TERI KNEW ABOUT CYNTHIA. 269 00:10:39,247 --> 00:10:41,553 - SHE DOES, BUT NEITHER OF THEM KNOW ABOUT LYDIA. 270 00:10:41,597 --> 00:10:44,034 - OOH. - WOW. 271 00:10:44,078 --> 00:10:47,734 - WHOA! [laughter] 272 00:10:47,777 --> 00:10:49,213 OKAY, SO WHAT'S THIS LEVER DO? 273 00:10:49,257 --> 00:10:52,695 - THAT MANIPULATES THE SECONDARY SHAFT. 274 00:10:52,739 --> 00:10:54,349 - OH, THE SECONDARY SHAFT. 275 00:10:54,392 --> 00:10:56,003 [shudders] AH-OOGA! 276 00:10:56,046 --> 00:10:57,482 [laughter] 277 00:10:57,526 --> 00:10:59,354 - THE LIFT CAPACITY'S UP TO 2,000 POUNDS. 278 00:10:59,397 --> 00:11:00,529 THAT'S A LOT OF BEETS. 279 00:11:00,572 --> 00:11:02,270 - LET'S TALK TERMS. 280 00:11:02,313 --> 00:11:05,360 IF YOU AGREE TO A 40-60 SPLIT ON THIS TRACTOR, 281 00:11:05,403 --> 00:11:07,405 I'LL STORE IT IN ONE OF MY BARNS. 282 00:11:07,449 --> 00:11:09,886 - MR. BRUEGGER, ARE YOU TRYING TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF ME 283 00:11:09,930 --> 00:11:11,496 BECAUSE I'M INTERESTED IN YOUR DAUGHTER? 284 00:11:11,540 --> 00:11:13,890 50-50 SPLIT, OR NO DEAL. 285 00:11:13,934 --> 00:11:17,677 - ESTHER, GET IN THE TRUCK. 286 00:11:17,720 --> 00:11:19,243 - NO, WAIT--OKAY, WAIT. 287 00:11:19,287 --> 00:11:23,073 YOU WIN. 288 00:11:23,117 --> 00:11:25,989 - [chuckles] LET'S GET THE PAPERWORK STARTED. 289 00:11:29,776 --> 00:11:31,865 - WE SHOULD BUY AN AUGER TOGETHER. 290 00:11:31,908 --> 00:11:33,997 - OH. YEAH. 291 00:11:34,041 --> 00:11:35,303 YEAH, WE SHOULD DO THAT. 292 00:11:35,346 --> 00:11:36,739 - YOU WOULD BE A GREAT ONE 293 00:11:36,783 --> 00:11:39,307 TO BUY AN AUGER WITH. 294 00:11:41,570 --> 00:11:45,139 - HELLO, HONEY, I JUST SPOKE TO THE TV REPAIRMAN, 295 00:11:45,182 --> 00:11:47,532 AND HE SAYS WE NEED TO KEEP OUR TVs TURNED OFF 296 00:11:47,576 --> 00:11:48,882 FOR A COUPLE OF MONTHS. 297 00:11:48,925 --> 00:11:50,884 SOMETHING ABOUT THE WIRING. 298 00:11:50,927 --> 00:11:52,755 - OH! SEVEN NEW COMMENTS. 299 00:11:52,799 --> 00:11:55,584 "THE GUY AT 0:19 IS HAWT." 300 00:11:55,627 --> 00:11:57,064 - "HI, BONGRIPPER, 301 00:11:57,107 --> 00:11:59,022 "IT'S ME, ANDY, THE GUY FROM 0:19. 302 00:11:59,066 --> 00:12:01,459 "I'M GLAD THAT YOU ENJOYED MY WORK IN THAT PROMO. 303 00:12:01,503 --> 00:12:03,592 "I REALLY ENJOYED YOUR COMMENT. 304 00:12:03,635 --> 00:12:05,463 "GOING TO READ SOME MORE COMMENTS NOW. 305 00:12:05,507 --> 00:12:08,902 HAVE A GREAT DAY!" 306 00:12:08,945 --> 00:12:13,297 "HE'S NOT HAWT. HE'S GAY." 307 00:12:18,041 --> 00:12:19,913 "DEAR JASONJASONJASON, 308 00:12:19,956 --> 00:12:21,088 "IT'S ME, ANDY. 309 00:12:21,131 --> 00:12:22,611 "NICE NAME. NOT! 310 00:12:22,654 --> 00:12:23,960 "GUESS WHAT? I'M NOT GAY. 311 00:12:24,004 --> 00:12:26,093 "SO YOU'RE AN IDIOT. AND I AM HAWT, 312 00:12:26,136 --> 00:12:29,357 "ACCORDING TO PEOPLE ON THIS SITE WHO HAVE A BRAIN. 313 00:12:29,400 --> 00:12:32,621 NEVER COMMENT ON THIS PAGE EVER AGAIN." 314 00:12:32,664 --> 00:12:34,014 "HE IS HAWT." 315 00:12:34,057 --> 00:12:38,105 SEE? THANK YOU. THAT'S MORE LIKE IT. 316 00:12:38,148 --> 00:12:40,803 "HE IS BUTT." 317 00:12:40,847 --> 00:12:43,763 AGH! DAMN IT! 318 00:12:43,806 --> 00:12:46,374 I'M ABOUT TO LOSE MY FREAKING MIND! 319 00:12:46,417 --> 00:12:51,031 SCREW YOU, TEXASPOONTAPPA. 320 00:12:51,074 --> 00:12:52,510 UGH. 321 00:12:52,554 --> 00:12:54,686 - SECURITY DEPOSIT. THAT'S BEEN-- 322 00:12:54,730 --> 00:12:56,514 - STANDARD. - RIGHT. STANDARD. 323 00:12:56,558 --> 00:12:58,081 - HEY, CAN I TALK TO YOU FOR ONE SECOND? 324 00:12:58,125 --> 00:12:59,822 - NOT NOW. NO. NO. 325 00:12:59,866 --> 00:13:01,084 - JUST ONE SECOND. - NO. 326 00:13:01,128 --> 00:13:02,694 - ONE SECOND. - I'M CLOSING A DEAL 327 00:13:02,738 --> 00:13:05,306 ON A TRACTOR WITH THE FATHER OF A WOMAN I PLAN TO INSEMINATE. 328 00:13:05,349 --> 00:13:06,873 - DON'T DO IT. - WHAT? 329 00:13:06,916 --> 00:13:07,961 DON'T YOU CAP THAT PEN. 330 00:13:08,004 --> 00:13:08,962 DO NOT CAP THAT PEN! 331 00:13:09,005 --> 00:13:10,877 - DO N-- YOU CAPPED IT! 332 00:13:10,920 --> 00:13:12,095 WOW. YOU ARE SERIOUS. 333 00:13:12,139 --> 00:13:13,227 OKAY, YOU'VE GOT TWO MINUTES. 334 00:13:13,270 --> 00:13:14,489 THEN THE CAP COMES OFF. 335 00:13:14,532 --> 00:13:17,797 - DUDE, WE'RE BEING CONNED. 336 00:13:17,840 --> 00:13:19,276 - GO ON. 337 00:13:19,320 --> 00:13:21,626 - THESE CHICKS ARE WAY TOO HOT TO BE INTO US. 338 00:13:21,670 --> 00:13:23,933 ESTHER'S JUST PRETENDING TO LIKE YOU 339 00:13:23,977 --> 00:13:25,979 SO THAT YOU'LL BUY HER DADDY A NEW TRACTOR. 340 00:13:26,022 --> 00:13:28,895 - NO. 341 00:13:28,938 --> 00:13:29,983 - YEAH, THE SISTER'S TRYING TO SEDUCE ME 342 00:13:30,026 --> 00:13:31,462 INTO BUYING AN AUGER WITH HER. 343 00:13:31,506 --> 00:13:32,942 - WHAT? HAS THE WARRANTEE EXPIRED 344 00:13:32,986 --> 00:13:34,161 ON THE AUGER YOU HAVE NOW? 345 00:13:34,204 --> 00:13:37,947 - I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT AN AUGER IS. 346 00:13:37,991 --> 00:13:39,862 - NO WOMAN WOULD EVER WANT A MAN 347 00:13:39,906 --> 00:13:42,038 WHO DOESN'T KNOW WHAT AN AUGER IS. 348 00:13:42,082 --> 00:13:45,172 - HEY. YOU READY TO SIGN? 349 00:13:45,215 --> 00:13:47,957 - I JUST NEED A MOMENT TO CONSIDER YOUR OFFER. 350 00:13:48,001 --> 00:13:52,048 EXCUSE ME. 351 00:13:58,838 --> 00:14:00,665 [knock at door] 352 00:14:00,709 --> 00:14:02,015 - OH, HEY. 353 00:14:02,058 --> 00:14:03,973 - HEY. - HI. 354 00:14:04,017 --> 00:14:05,583 - HI. I'M SORRY. 355 00:14:05,627 --> 00:14:06,584 DO YOU HAVE A MINUTE? IS THIS A BAD TIME? 356 00:14:06,628 --> 00:14:07,585 - NO, NO. PLEASE, YEAH. 357 00:14:07,629 --> 00:14:11,894 COME ON IN. 358 00:14:11,938 --> 00:14:13,374 GOOD TO SEE YOU. UM, SORRY. 359 00:14:13,417 --> 00:14:15,855 MY PLACE IS USUALLY NOT THIS-- 360 00:14:15,898 --> 00:14:17,160 - OH, MY GOSH, PLEASE, DON'T. 361 00:14:17,204 --> 00:14:19,728 - YEAH, NO, I-- ACTUALLY, IT'S ALWAYS LIKE THIS. 362 00:14:19,771 --> 00:14:21,556 [laughter] YOU WANT TO GO OUTSIDE? 363 00:14:21,599 --> 00:14:22,774 IT'S A LITTLE LESS CLUTTERED OUT THERE. 364 00:14:22,818 --> 00:14:23,950 - SURE. YEAH. - YEAH? 365 00:14:23,993 --> 00:14:25,299 - YEAH. 366 00:14:25,342 --> 00:14:28,084 - [sighs] 367 00:14:28,128 --> 00:14:31,958 - LET ME GRAB A COUPLE DRINKS. - OKAY. 368 00:14:32,001 --> 00:14:33,742 OH, WOW, YOU HAVE A NICE VIEW. 369 00:14:33,785 --> 00:14:35,309 - ALL RIGHT. 370 00:14:35,352 --> 00:14:37,877 THAT'S FOR YOU. - OH, THANK YOU. 371 00:14:37,920 --> 00:14:40,227 - CHEERS. - CHEERS. 372 00:14:40,270 --> 00:14:42,185 [radio plays loudly] - ALL RIGHT. 373 00:14:42,229 --> 00:14:43,926 HOW MUCH HAVE YOU REVEALED ON CAMERA 374 00:14:43,970 --> 00:14:45,885 ABOUT YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH THE SENATOR? 375 00:14:45,928 --> 00:14:48,017 - THEY CAUGHT US KISSING ON HALLOWEEN. 376 00:14:48,061 --> 00:14:50,150 - [gasps] HE WAS DRESSED LIKE RONALD REAGAN! 377 00:14:50,193 --> 00:14:52,108 - OWW! - GOD. 378 00:14:52,152 --> 00:14:54,197 - ANGELA! WELL, HE KISSED LIKE JACK KENNEDY. 379 00:14:54,241 --> 00:14:56,069 OH! - STOP IT. 380 00:14:56,112 --> 00:14:57,200 STOP KISSING HIM. 381 00:14:57,244 --> 00:14:58,549 SOMEONE NEEDS TO CALL AND WARN HIM. 382 00:14:58,593 --> 00:15:00,116 THIS COULD RUIN HIS CAREER. 383 00:15:00,160 --> 00:15:02,205 - I DON'T LIKE GIVING HIM BAD NEWS. 384 00:15:02,249 --> 00:15:03,511 - CALL HIM! - YOU CALL HIM! 385 00:15:03,554 --> 00:15:05,252 - CALL HIM! CALL HIM! - STOP HITTING ME! NO! 386 00:15:05,295 --> 00:15:08,211 - SO... - SO... 387 00:15:08,255 --> 00:15:10,039 - WHAT BRINGS YOU BY? 388 00:15:10,083 --> 00:15:12,737 - WELL, THE PROMO FOR THE DOCUMENTARY AIRED TODAY. 389 00:15:12,781 --> 00:15:13,956 - OH, YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT. - YEAH. 390 00:15:14,000 --> 00:15:15,915 IT'S KIND OF CRAZY. - IT IS. 391 00:15:15,958 --> 00:15:17,829 - SEE ALL THIS, LIKE, OLD STUFF. 392 00:15:17,873 --> 00:15:21,050 - I KNOW. - LIKE, THERE'S THAT SHOT 393 00:15:21,094 --> 00:15:23,618 OF JIM AND I UP ON THE ROOF. - OH, YEAH, THAT WAS-- 394 00:15:23,661 --> 00:15:25,925 THAT WAS A GOOD MOMENT. - YEAH, WASN'T THAT NEAT? 395 00:15:25,968 --> 00:15:28,275 - YEAH, THAT WAS COOL. - YEAH. 396 00:15:28,318 --> 00:15:30,712 AND THERE'S THIS ONE WHEN WE WERE LISTENING 397 00:15:30,755 --> 00:15:32,975 TO MUSIC, AND IT'S LIKE-- 398 00:15:33,019 --> 00:15:34,063 IT'S LIKE WE WERE IN LOVE, 399 00:15:34,107 --> 00:15:35,238 WE DIDN'T EVEN KNOW WE WERE IN LOVE. 400 00:15:35,282 --> 00:15:38,067 AND IT'S-- 401 00:15:38,111 --> 00:15:40,983 BUT... 402 00:15:41,027 --> 00:15:43,377 DO YOU THINK JIM'S CHANGED? 403 00:15:43,420 --> 00:15:45,031 - UM... - I'M SORRY. 404 00:15:45,074 --> 00:15:46,249 DID THAT-- BUT THAT WAS OUT OF THE BLUE. 405 00:15:46,293 --> 00:15:47,729 I JUST MEAN, BECAUSE YOU KNOW US, 406 00:15:47,772 --> 00:15:49,470 AND YOU'VE, LIKE, OBSERVED US 407 00:15:49,513 --> 00:15:53,343 FOR TEN YEARS, AND I FEEL LIKE HE'S-- 408 00:15:53,387 --> 00:15:57,043 I JUST FEEL LIKE HE'S SO INTO HIS WORK RIGHT NOW, 409 00:15:57,086 --> 00:15:59,828 AND... 410 00:15:59,871 --> 00:16:02,570 I DON'T KNOW. AM I CRAZY? 411 00:16:02,613 --> 00:16:05,399 - NO, YOU'RE NOT CRAZY. 412 00:16:07,488 --> 00:16:11,927 - WELL, I WISH THAT MADE ME FEEL BETTER. 413 00:16:11,971 --> 00:16:15,539 LISTEN, SO EVERYBODY SAW THE PROMOS, 414 00:16:15,583 --> 00:16:16,976 AND THEY'RE KIND OF FREAKING OUT. 415 00:16:17,019 --> 00:16:18,412 - [chuckles] - 'CAUSE IT SEEMS 416 00:16:18,455 --> 00:16:21,023 LIKE YOU GOT A LOT OF PRIVATE STUFF ON CAMERA. 417 00:16:21,067 --> 00:16:22,982 - YEAH. - YOU KNOW, STUFF PEOPLE 418 00:16:23,025 --> 00:16:24,940 DIDN'T INTEND FOR EVERYONE TO SEE, 419 00:16:24,984 --> 00:16:27,116 AND THEY KIND OF WANT TO KNOW HOW MUCH. 420 00:16:27,160 --> 00:16:28,813 - THEY WANT TO KNOW HOW MUCH WHAT? 421 00:16:28,857 --> 00:16:30,467 - HOW MUCH STUFF YOU GOT. 422 00:16:30,511 --> 00:16:32,165 - PRETTY MUCH EVERYTHING. 423 00:16:32,208 --> 00:16:35,037 - WELL, YEAH, BUT WHAT IF WE TURN OFF OUR MIC PACKS? 424 00:16:35,081 --> 00:16:36,212 - THEY'VE GOT PARABOLIC MICS. 425 00:16:36,256 --> 00:16:37,692 THEY CAN PICK YOU UP 100 YARDS AWAY. 426 00:16:37,735 --> 00:16:41,000 SO, NO, IF YOU WERE AROUND THERE, THEY GOT YOU. 427 00:16:41,043 --> 00:16:44,264 - SO WE BASICALLY HAD NO PRIVACY FOR TEN YEARS. 428 00:16:44,307 --> 00:16:46,396 - THAT'S NOT REALLY TRUE. I MEAN... 429 00:16:46,440 --> 00:16:49,965 THAT'S-- - UM... 430 00:16:50,009 --> 00:16:51,706 YEAH, I GOTTA GO. 431 00:16:51,749 --> 00:16:52,750 - OH, NO, HANG ON A SECOND. 432 00:16:52,794 --> 00:16:54,230 PAM, I'M SORRY. I--I-- 433 00:16:54,274 --> 00:16:55,753 I CAN EXPLAIN THIS SO MUCH BETTER. 434 00:16:55,797 --> 00:16:58,017 - NO, I THINK YOU EXPLAINED IT. 435 00:16:58,060 --> 00:17:00,976 - LOOK, IF YOU GIVE ME A CHANCE, I CAN--PAM. 436 00:17:03,674 --> 00:17:05,633 - "TOGETHER WE WILL WIN THIS BASEBALL GAME 437 00:17:05,676 --> 00:17:07,374 "AGAINST THE EVIL SPACE YANKEES. 438 00:17:07,417 --> 00:17:08,897 EAT FRESH." 439 00:17:08,940 --> 00:17:10,072 - THAT'LL PAY FOR THE EXPLODING HELICOPTER. 440 00:17:10,116 --> 00:17:12,292 - SMART. - MM-HMM. 441 00:17:12,335 --> 00:17:15,034 - "SUDDENLY, THE EVIL THUGS BREAK INTO THE STADIUM. 442 00:17:15,077 --> 00:17:18,080 THE BIG PIECE HITS BASEBALL AT THE EVIL THUGS." 443 00:17:18,124 --> 00:17:20,082 - "BUY ME SOME PEANUTS AND CRACKER JACKS." 444 00:17:20,126 --> 00:17:22,084 - COME ON, MAN. SELL IT. 445 00:17:22,128 --> 00:17:25,131 - YEAH, JIM. 446 00:17:25,174 --> 00:17:27,394 - [forceful] "BUY ME SOME PEANUTS AND CRACKER JACKS!" 447 00:17:27,437 --> 00:17:28,830 - YEAH, THAT'S BETTER. 448 00:17:28,873 --> 00:17:30,701 "A BUNCH OF HOT WOMEN GO, 449 00:17:30,745 --> 00:17:32,138 'OH, YEAH.'" 450 00:17:32,181 --> 00:17:34,270 - "MEGAN, I WAS TOO SHY TO TELL YOU THIS 451 00:17:34,314 --> 00:17:36,533 "WHEN I WAS JUST A NORMAL PROFESSIONAL BASEBALL PLAYER, 452 00:17:36,577 --> 00:17:39,101 BUT I LOVE YOU." 453 00:17:39,145 --> 00:17:41,190 - "THEY KISS. IT IS SUPER EMOTIONAL. 454 00:17:41,234 --> 00:17:44,106 LIKE IN TOY STORY." - WOW. 455 00:17:44,150 --> 00:17:45,325 I TELL YOU WHAT. IT'S REALLY STRONG. 456 00:17:45,368 --> 00:17:47,109 CAN'T WAIT TO READ THE REST OF IT LATER, 457 00:17:47,153 --> 00:17:48,980 SEE HOW IT ENDS. - IT'S SO STRONG. 458 00:17:49,024 --> 00:17:51,113 - KEEP READING THEN. 459 00:17:51,157 --> 00:17:53,768 - "GOTTA GO. DARTH VADER'S LAUNCHING A HUGE ATTACK." 460 00:17:53,811 --> 00:17:55,987 - UM, ANOTHER THING. 461 00:17:56,031 --> 00:17:57,815 I'M GONNA NEED YOU TO GET ME THE RIGHTS 462 00:17:57,859 --> 00:18:00,905 TO DARTH VADER. 463 00:18:00,949 --> 00:18:03,038 - I DON'T KNOW HOW WE'D GO ABOUT DOING THAT, BUT... 464 00:18:03,082 --> 00:18:05,171 - WE CAN LOOK INTO IT. - WE'LL LOOK INTO IT. 465 00:18:05,214 --> 00:18:06,520 - WE NEED DARTH. 466 00:18:06,563 --> 00:18:08,087 - WE GOTTA GET HIM. - GO AFTER DARTH THEN. 467 00:18:08,130 --> 00:18:09,871 - WE'RE GONNA GO GET HIM. - THAT'S WHAT WE'RE GONNA DO. 468 00:18:09,914 --> 00:18:11,568 - WE'RE GONNA GO GET HIM. 469 00:18:11,612 --> 00:18:13,614 - MAYBE YOU'RE RIGHT. 470 00:18:13,657 --> 00:18:14,963 ESTHER'S A TEN, 471 00:18:15,006 --> 00:18:16,617 AND THE BEST I'VE EVER DONE IS ANGELA, 472 00:18:16,660 --> 00:18:18,532 WHO'S A NINE, AND SHE REJECTED ME. 473 00:18:18,575 --> 00:18:21,187 - A SCRANTON NINE, BUT, YEAH, POINT TAKEN. 474 00:18:21,230 --> 00:18:23,363 HEY, LET'S GO OUT TONIGHT 475 00:18:23,406 --> 00:18:25,713 AND JUST SCORE A COUPLE FOURS, HUH? 476 00:18:25,756 --> 00:18:28,019 I MEAN, THERE ARE NO GAMES WITH FOURS. 477 00:18:28,063 --> 00:18:29,499 - WHO NEEDS A NEW TRACTOR ANYWAY? 478 00:18:29,543 --> 00:18:31,153 MAYBE WE'RE THE KIND OF GUYS 479 00:18:31,197 --> 00:18:33,199 WHO END UP WITH A TRACTOR THAT'S ALREADY BEEN RODE HARD 480 00:18:33,242 --> 00:18:34,635 AND PUT AWAY MUDDY. 481 00:18:34,678 --> 00:18:35,766 - SCREW NEW TRACTORS. 482 00:18:35,810 --> 00:18:38,247 GUYS LIKE US, WE GOT TO PLANT OUR SEED 483 00:18:38,291 --> 00:18:40,075 A DIFFERENT WAY. - BY HAND. 484 00:18:40,119 --> 00:18:42,295 [door opens] - DWIGHT. 485 00:18:42,338 --> 00:18:44,166 WE NEED TO TALK. 486 00:18:44,210 --> 00:18:46,037 - I DON'T KNOW THAT THERE'S ANYTHING LEFT 487 00:18:46,081 --> 00:18:48,170 FOR US TO TALK ABOUT, ESTHER. 488 00:18:48,214 --> 00:18:50,085 - LOOK, WE'RE GONNA HAVE THE TRACTOR FOR THE SAME AMOUNT 489 00:18:50,129 --> 00:18:52,043 OF WORK DAYS, BUT MY DAD IS PLANNING ON LEASING IT 490 00:18:52,087 --> 00:18:53,697 TO THE VANDERKIRK BROTHERS ON THE WEEKENDS. 491 00:18:53,741 --> 00:18:55,177 - NO. 492 00:18:55,221 --> 00:18:57,092 - SO YOU'RE GONNA BE PAYING MORE, BUT HE'S PUTTING ON 493 00:18:57,136 --> 00:18:58,876 TEN TIMES THE MILES, AND HE'S POCKETING A PROFIT 494 00:18:58,920 --> 00:19:01,140 BEHIND YOUR BACK. - THAT SNAKE! 495 00:19:01,183 --> 00:19:02,924 - YOU NEED TO TELL HIM YOU WANT A DEAL BASED ON MILES, 496 00:19:02,967 --> 00:19:04,186 OR HE CAN JUST STICK THAT TRACTOR 497 00:19:04,230 --> 00:19:05,753 WHERE THE SUN DON'T SHINE. 498 00:19:05,796 --> 00:19:07,537 - THAT SHADY GROVE OUT BY WILLARD'S POND. 499 00:19:07,581 --> 00:19:09,191 - MM-HMM. 500 00:19:09,235 --> 00:19:12,629 - SO...YOU'RE FINE WITH ME NOT LEASING THE TRACTOR? 501 00:19:12,673 --> 00:19:15,241 I MEAN, OUR COURTSHIP CAN PROCEED? 502 00:19:15,284 --> 00:19:17,068 - OF COURSE. 503 00:19:17,112 --> 00:19:20,898 YOU DIDN'T THINK I WAS JUST TRACTOR BAIT, DID YOU? 504 00:19:20,942 --> 00:19:23,205 - N-NO. - [laughs] 505 00:19:23,249 --> 00:19:24,598 - THAT-- - YEAH. 506 00:19:24,641 --> 00:19:27,122 - HEY, DWIGHT. WHAT'S AN AUGER USED FOR? 507 00:19:27,166 --> 00:19:28,993 - POST HOLE DIGGING. 508 00:19:29,037 --> 00:19:32,127 [laughter] 509 00:19:32,171 --> 00:19:33,563 [telephone ringing] 510 00:19:33,607 --> 00:19:35,565 - YOU'VE REACHED SENATOR ROBERT LIPTON. 511 00:19:35,609 --> 00:19:37,915 PLEASE LEAVE A MESSAGE. [telephone beeps] 512 00:19:37,959 --> 00:19:39,047 - HI, HONEY! - HEY, HONEY. 513 00:19:39,090 --> 00:19:40,091 - NO, YOU GO. - GO. NO, GO AHEAD. 514 00:19:40,135 --> 00:19:42,137 - HI, HONEY. - HEY, HEY, ROBERT. 515 00:19:42,181 --> 00:19:44,052 - IT'S ANGELA AND OSCAR. - HEY. 516 00:19:44,095 --> 00:19:45,358 - JUST A FEW QUICK THINGS. 517 00:19:45,401 --> 00:19:48,274 - UM, THE DOCUMENTARY'S GOING TO BE AIRING SOON, 518 00:19:48,317 --> 00:19:50,537 AND--AND YOU LOOK GREAT IN THE PROMOS. 519 00:19:50,580 --> 00:19:52,495 - OH, YOU LOOK SO HANDSOME. - OH. 520 00:19:52,539 --> 00:19:54,236 - VERY PRESIDENTIAL. 521 00:19:54,280 --> 00:19:56,369 - VERY MUCH SO. ABSOLUTELY. - YEAH. 522 00:19:56,412 --> 00:19:58,588 - HEY, I GET THE SENSE YOU'RE GONNA BE OUTED AS GAY. 523 00:19:58,632 --> 00:20:01,722 - YES, AND I CHEATED ON YOU WITH DWIGHT. 524 00:20:01,765 --> 00:20:03,245 IT LOOKS LIKE THEY GOT IT ON FILM. 525 00:20:03,289 --> 00:20:05,682 I DIDN'T TELL YOU ABOUT IT. 526 00:20:05,726 --> 00:20:07,554 - I THINK THAT'S IT. - I THINK WE'RE GOOD. 527 00:20:07,597 --> 00:20:10,034 - DONE. OKAY. - BYE. LOVE YOU. 528 00:20:10,078 --> 00:20:12,211 [whimpers] 529 00:20:14,213 --> 00:20:17,085 - HEY, TEXASPOONTAPPA AND JASONJASONJASON 530 00:20:17,128 --> 00:20:18,434 AND ALL THE REST OF YOU HATERS OUT THERE, 531 00:20:18,478 --> 00:20:20,088 CHECK THIS OUT. 532 00:20:20,131 --> 00:20:23,091 [plays an upbeat melody] 533 00:20:23,134 --> 00:20:31,142 ♪ 534 00:20:40,108 --> 00:20:41,457 - GOOD NIGHT, ANDY. 535 00:20:41,501 --> 00:20:43,024 - HUH? YEAH. 536 00:20:43,067 --> 00:20:44,199 SEE YA. 537 00:20:44,243 --> 00:20:47,855 OH! WHAT? 538 00:20:47,898 --> 00:20:49,335 [grumbles] 539 00:20:49,378 --> 00:20:52,381 [moans] 540 00:20:56,124 --> 00:20:59,083 - [speaking Danish] 541 00:20:59,127 --> 00:21:00,737 ELSKERE. 542 00:21:00,781 --> 00:21:03,610 - I HOPE YOU GOT SOUND ON EVERYTHING. 543 00:21:03,653 --> 00:21:06,917 I'D LOVE A DVD OF THAT. 544 00:21:14,490 --> 00:21:17,493 [car horns honking]