1 00:00:03,133 --> 00:00:05,614 - [humming] 2 00:00:05,657 --> 00:00:08,791 WHAT THE HELL? NO, THIS IS NOT HAPPENING. 3 00:00:08,834 --> 00:00:10,967 - DIDN'T YOU GET THE MEMO? IT'S STAIRMAGEDDON. 4 00:00:11,011 --> 00:00:12,664 [claps] COME ON, STANLEY! 5 00:00:12,708 --> 00:00:15,754 DWIGHT IS HAVING MAINTENANCE DONE ON THE ELEVATOR TODAY, 6 00:00:15,798 --> 00:00:17,234 AND HE WAS REALLY ON TOP OF IT. 7 00:00:17,278 --> 00:00:18,409 WEEKS AGO, HE STARTED 8 00:00:18,453 --> 00:00:20,368 THE STAIRMAGEDDON AWARENESS CAMPAIGN. 9 00:00:20,411 --> 00:00:24,328 THE IDEA WAS TO GET US PREPARED, BOTH MENTALLY AND PHYSICALLY, 10 00:00:24,372 --> 00:00:28,463 FOR A DAY THAT HOPEFULLY COMES ONCE IN 100 YEARS. 11 00:00:28,506 --> 00:00:30,726 IT'S A "MAGEDDON!" 12 00:00:30,769 --> 00:00:33,381 COME ON! COME ON, STANLEY. 13 00:00:33,424 --> 00:00:34,599 STAY IN IT! - [growls] 14 00:00:34,643 --> 00:00:38,081 - I PUT 17 DAMN YEARS INTO THIS COMPANY, 15 00:00:38,125 --> 00:00:40,910 AND NOW THEY'RE MAKING ME CLIMB STAIR MOUNTAIN! 16 00:00:40,953 --> 00:00:42,259 - COME ON! 17 00:00:42,303 --> 00:00:44,392 - OUR OFFICE HAS AN UNUSUALLY LARGE NUMBER 18 00:00:44,435 --> 00:00:46,698 OF UNUSUALLY LARGE PEOPLE. 19 00:00:46,742 --> 00:00:50,050 - THIS IS AN ABOMINATION. - COME ON. 20 00:00:50,093 --> 00:00:53,531 - SO WHEN SOMETHING AS ROUTINE AS ELEVATOR MAINTENANCE HAPPENS, 21 00:00:53,575 --> 00:00:56,795 AND PEOPLE ARE FORCED TO EXPEND CARDIOVASCULAR EFFORT, 22 00:00:56,839 --> 00:00:59,581 WE HAVE TO COMPARE IT TO THE END OF TIME. 23 00:00:59,624 --> 00:01:02,671 [cheerful music] 24 00:01:02,714 --> 00:01:09,591 ♪ 25 00:01:09,634 --> 00:01:11,810 - [muffled] RED ALERT! RED ALERT! 26 00:01:11,854 --> 00:01:14,857 THE REVIEWS ARE IN! I REPEAT, THE REVIEWS ARE IN. 27 00:01:14,900 --> 00:01:16,424 - WHAT? 28 00:01:16,467 --> 00:01:17,425 - I JUST GOT A TEXT FROM MY BROTHER. 29 00:01:17,468 --> 00:01:18,774 SCRANTON TIMES TRIBUNE.COM. 30 00:01:18,817 --> 00:01:19,905 THERE'S A REVIEW OF THE DOCUMENTARY. 31 00:01:19,949 --> 00:01:21,124 - [gasps] WHAT DOES IT SAY? 32 00:01:21,168 --> 00:01:22,604 - I DON'T KNOW, PHYLLIS. 33 00:01:22,647 --> 00:01:24,867 I JUST GOT THE TEXT AND STARTED SCREAMING, "RED ALERT." 34 00:01:24,910 --> 00:01:26,347 - WELL, THE ALERT WAS ALREADY SET TO "RED" 35 00:01:26,390 --> 00:01:27,870 BECAUSE OF STAIRMAGEDDON. 36 00:01:27,913 --> 00:01:29,306 YOU THINK I SHOULD SET IT TO "DOUBLE RED"? 37 00:01:29,350 --> 00:01:32,527 - I THINK WE SHOULD. 38 00:01:32,570 --> 00:01:34,006 - [groans] 39 00:01:34,050 --> 00:01:36,139 - "THE OFFICE: AN AMERICAN WORKPLACE 40 00:01:36,183 --> 00:01:38,924 "AIRING ON PBS NEXT MONTH IS A DOCUMENTARY FOLLOWING 41 00:01:38,968 --> 00:01:40,665 THE EMPLOYEES OF SCRANTON'S OWN DUNDER MIFFLIN PAPER COMPANY!" 42 00:01:40,709 --> 00:01:44,191 - WHOO! [applause] 43 00:01:44,234 --> 00:01:46,628 - "IN THIS SERIES, WHICH WILL AIR STARTING IN MAY, 44 00:01:46,671 --> 00:01:49,065 "WE GET AN IN-DEPTH LOOK 45 00:01:49,109 --> 00:01:51,502 "AT MANY INTERESTING LOCAL PEOPLE. 46 00:01:51,546 --> 00:01:55,419 "THERE'S KEVIN MALONE, THE FALSTAFFIAN ACCOUNTANT. 47 00:01:55,463 --> 00:01:58,335 "DWIGHT SCHRUTE, THE HEAD SALESMAN 48 00:01:58,379 --> 00:02:01,904 FOREVER CHASING A MANAGER POSITION HE WILL NEVER GET." 49 00:02:01,947 --> 00:02:04,863 - WHAT DOES JOSH MCAULIFFE KNOW ABOUT THE PAPER BUSINESS? 50 00:02:04,907 --> 00:02:06,865 HE WORKS FOR A NEWS... 51 00:02:06,909 --> 00:02:08,345 THING. 52 00:02:08,389 --> 00:02:12,610 - "ANDY BERNARD, THE RUDDERLESS TRUST FUND 53 00:02:12,654 --> 00:02:14,612 "CHILD-SLASH-MIDDLE MANAGER, 54 00:02:14,656 --> 00:02:16,658 "WHOSE INCOMPETENCE IS EMBLEMATIC 55 00:02:16,701 --> 00:02:18,573 OF A DECLINING AMERICAN ECONOMY." 56 00:02:18,616 --> 00:02:21,010 - OUCH. SORRY, ANDY, THAT'S-- 57 00:02:21,053 --> 00:02:23,839 - IT'S OKAY. [chuckles] THE HELL DOES HE KNOW? 58 00:02:23,882 --> 00:02:27,059 - "A POSSIBLE EXPLANATION FOR HIS LACK OF CAREER FOCUS 59 00:02:27,103 --> 00:02:30,237 IS HIS SURPRISING MUSICAL TALENT." 60 00:02:30,280 --> 00:02:31,412 - I WANT YOU TO PRINT THAT OUT FOR ME. 61 00:02:31,455 --> 00:02:32,674 - I WILL. 62 00:02:32,717 --> 00:02:35,111 - NOW THAT THIS DOCUMENTARY IS COMING OUT, 63 00:02:35,155 --> 00:02:37,374 MY DAYS AT DUNDER MIFFLIN ARE PROBABLY LIMITED. 64 00:02:37,418 --> 00:02:39,637 AND YOU KNOW WHAT? GOOD. 65 00:02:39,681 --> 00:02:42,684 BECAUSE THIS IS NOT WHAT I WANTED TO DO WITH MY LIFE. 66 00:02:42,727 --> 00:02:45,643 I WANTED TO BE MY GENERATION'S LISA LOEB. 67 00:02:45,687 --> 00:02:47,210 - "THOUGH IT MOSTLY FOCUSES 68 00:02:47,254 --> 00:02:49,386 "ON THE DAILY REALITIES OF OFFICE LIFE, 69 00:02:49,430 --> 00:02:51,301 "A LURID SUBPLOT REVEALS 70 00:02:51,345 --> 00:02:53,390 "THE HYPOCRISY OF A LOCAL PUBLIC FIGURE 71 00:02:53,434 --> 00:02:56,872 EMBROILED IN A GAY AFFAIR WHILE PREACHING FAMILY VALUES." 72 00:02:56,915 --> 00:02:59,614 - OH. WHICH PUBLIC FIGURE? 73 00:02:59,657 --> 00:03:02,617 - I BET IT'S KATIE COURIC. I'VE BEEN SAYING THIS FOR YEARS. 74 00:03:02,660 --> 00:03:04,488 - NO, I THINK THEY MEAN 75 00:03:04,532 --> 00:03:09,276 MORE LIKE A POLITICIAN. 76 00:03:09,319 --> 00:03:11,800 [Stanley grunting, wheezing] 77 00:03:11,843 --> 00:03:14,237 - YOU OWN THE BUILDING. 78 00:03:14,281 --> 00:03:16,544 WHY CAN'T YOU FIX THE ELEVATOR IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT? 79 00:03:16,587 --> 00:03:19,286 WHO DO I LOOK LIKE, JACKIE JOYNER-KERSEE? 80 00:03:19,329 --> 00:03:22,593 - WELL, I DID SAY IT WOULD BE AN INCONVENIENCE. 81 00:03:22,637 --> 00:03:24,291 YOU SHOULD'VE CALLED ME FROM DOWNSTAIRS. 82 00:03:24,334 --> 00:03:25,509 WE COULD'VE MET IN THE LOBBY. 83 00:03:25,553 --> 00:03:26,771 IT'S TIME TO GO OUT ON A SALE! 84 00:03:26,815 --> 00:03:28,599 HERE WE GO. - SON, YOU'VE LOST YOUR MIND. 85 00:03:28,643 --> 00:03:31,385 I'M NOT GOING ANYWHERE UNTIL YOU FIX MY ELEVATOR. 86 00:03:31,428 --> 00:03:33,213 - THE BUYER IS YOUR SISTER'S FRIEND. 87 00:03:33,256 --> 00:03:34,605 THIS IS THE PRINTING PAPER 88 00:03:34,649 --> 00:03:37,217 FOR THE ENTIRE SCHOOL DISTRICT OF LACKAWANNA. 89 00:03:37,260 --> 00:03:39,741 YOU ARE COMING, AND THAT'S AN ORDER. 90 00:03:39,784 --> 00:03:42,004 - YOU ARE NOT MY DAMN BOSS AND YOU NEVER WILL BE! 91 00:03:42,047 --> 00:03:43,353 GUESS WHAT? 92 00:03:43,397 --> 00:03:45,486 NEVER GONNA HAPPEN! 93 00:03:45,529 --> 00:03:48,532 PETE, ICED TEA. THREE SUGARS, FIVE CREAMS. 94 00:03:48,576 --> 00:03:50,621 - YOUR MORNING 3x5. 95 00:03:50,665 --> 00:03:53,972 COMING RIGHT UP. 96 00:03:54,016 --> 00:03:55,365 - WELL, WE WON'T BE LATE. 97 00:03:55,409 --> 00:03:58,542 I LOVE YOU, MOM. THANKS. 98 00:03:58,586 --> 00:04:00,588 - OH, YOUR MOM'S WATCHING THE KIDS TONIGHT. 99 00:04:00,631 --> 00:04:02,198 SO WHAT ARE YOU TWO UP TO? [chuckles] 100 00:04:02,242 --> 00:04:04,679 OH, UM, EMBASSY SUITES. 101 00:04:04,722 --> 00:04:06,115 "DO NOT DISTURB" SIGN ON THE DOOR. 102 00:04:06,158 --> 00:04:07,290 MOMMY AND DADDY ARE ON THE FLOOR. 103 00:04:07,334 --> 00:04:09,423 - [laughs] I WISH. 104 00:04:09,466 --> 00:04:10,424 - WHAT, THEN? 105 00:04:10,467 --> 00:04:14,950 - OH, NOTHING THAT EXCITING. 106 00:04:20,129 --> 00:04:21,870 - MARRIAGE COUNSELING? 107 00:04:21,913 --> 00:04:23,437 HMM. 108 00:04:23,480 --> 00:04:25,743 DID YOU KNOW THAT IS THE ONLY KIND OF COUNSELING 109 00:04:25,787 --> 00:04:27,310 I HAVE NEVER HAD? 110 00:04:27,354 --> 00:04:29,051 - YOU KNOW, JIM'S KIND OF NERVOUS ABOUT IT, 111 00:04:29,094 --> 00:04:30,748 BUT I THINK IT COULD REALLY HELP. 112 00:04:30,792 --> 00:04:31,967 - MMM. I MEAN, WE'RE HAVING ISSUES. 113 00:04:32,010 --> 00:04:34,578 IT CAN'T HURT TO TALK ABOUT THEM, RIGHT? 114 00:04:39,279 --> 00:04:41,629 - HEY, TOBY. 115 00:04:41,672 --> 00:04:43,587 UM, I WANTED TO ASK YOU A QUESTION. 116 00:04:43,631 --> 00:04:45,807 - OH, SURE. 117 00:04:45,850 --> 00:04:47,069 - IT'S A LITTLE, UH, PERSONAL. 118 00:04:47,112 --> 00:04:48,592 - LET'S DO IT. LET'S GET PERSONAL. 119 00:04:48,636 --> 00:04:49,724 - I WANTED TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT YOUR DIVORCE. 120 00:04:49,767 --> 00:04:51,943 - WHOA. 121 00:04:51,987 --> 00:04:55,164 - SORRY. I-- NO, NO, NO, WHAT I MEANT--WHAT I MEANT-- 122 00:04:55,207 --> 00:04:56,644 - OH, YEAH, NO, IT'S OKAY. I CAN HANDLE IT. 123 00:04:56,687 --> 00:04:59,255 UM, SO... 124 00:04:59,299 --> 00:05:00,952 - YOU GUYS OBVIOUSLY WENT THROUGH SOME TOUGH TIMES 125 00:05:00,996 --> 00:05:03,651 LEADING UP TO IT. - [chuckles, snorts] 126 00:05:03,694 --> 00:05:07,437 - OKAY. I WAS WONDERING IF YOU EVER DID ANY COUPLES COUNSELING? 127 00:05:07,481 --> 00:05:10,788 - OH, SURE, LOTS OF TIMES. YEAH. 128 00:05:10,832 --> 00:05:14,444 WAIT, YOU AND PAM AREN'T IN COUPLES COUNSELING, ARE YOU? 129 00:05:14,488 --> 00:05:15,445 OH, GOD. 130 00:05:15,489 --> 00:05:16,707 - NO, NO, NO, NO, NO. 131 00:05:16,751 --> 00:05:20,798 UH, WE'RE JUST STARTING COUPLES COUNSELING. 132 00:05:20,842 --> 00:05:23,714 UH, WHICH DOESN'T SOUND ANY BETTER. 133 00:05:23,758 --> 00:05:28,197 - OH, YOU GUYS. KELLY CALLED IT. 134 00:05:28,240 --> 00:05:29,851 2013. 135 00:05:29,894 --> 00:05:31,679 SO S--HEY! 136 00:05:31,722 --> 00:05:34,246 HEY, HEY, NO! NO. GET OUTTA HERE. 137 00:05:34,290 --> 00:05:35,726 CLARK, GET OUTTA HERE. - MY MISTAKE. 138 00:05:35,770 --> 00:05:37,685 - YES, IT IS YOUR MISTAKE. 139 00:05:37,728 --> 00:05:40,122 HE'S LINGERING. SO ANNOYING. 140 00:05:40,165 --> 00:05:41,732 I'M GONNA KILL HIM. 141 00:05:41,776 --> 00:05:43,691 HOW CAN I HELP? I'M HERE. 142 00:05:43,734 --> 00:05:45,606 - THAT'S ALL RIGHT. 143 00:05:45,649 --> 00:05:47,216 - HELLO, WILLIAM MORRIS AGENCY. 144 00:05:47,259 --> 00:05:48,783 I NEED TO SPEAK WITH YOUR BEST AGENT 145 00:05:48,826 --> 00:05:51,089 WHO REPRESENTS YOUR BIGGEST STARS. 146 00:05:51,133 --> 00:05:53,788 YES, I'LL HOLD. 147 00:05:53,831 --> 00:05:57,835 I'M SORRY. I MISUNDERSTOOD. GOOD-BYE. 148 00:06:04,712 --> 00:06:07,323 - THANK YOU, STAN. 149 00:06:07,367 --> 00:06:08,977 OH, HONEY. 150 00:06:09,020 --> 00:06:12,850 LOOK, I JUST WANT OUR LIFE TO GET BACK TO NORMAL. 151 00:06:12,894 --> 00:06:14,765 RIBBON CUTTINGS, CHARITY BALLS. 152 00:06:14,809 --> 00:06:15,897 - DON'T WORRY, I'VE SCHEDULED 153 00:06:15,940 --> 00:06:17,942 A PRESS CONFERENCE FOR LATER TODAY. 154 00:06:17,986 --> 00:06:20,815 WE JUST NEED TO FACE THE CAMERAS TOGETHER. 155 00:06:20,858 --> 00:06:23,600 A BELOVED PUBLIC SERVANT AND HIS DEVOTED WIFE. 156 00:06:23,644 --> 00:06:25,385 AND MOVE ON. 157 00:06:25,428 --> 00:06:27,648 - ALL RIGHT, IF I HAVE TO BE THE GOOD WIFE, 158 00:06:27,691 --> 00:06:29,345 I'LL BE THE BEST DAMN WIFE THERE IS. 159 00:06:29,389 --> 00:06:32,740 CORRECTION. BEST DARN WIFE. 160 00:06:32,783 --> 00:06:35,699 SORRY. I'M A BETTER WIFE THAN THAT. 161 00:06:35,743 --> 00:06:36,831 [sighs] 162 00:06:36,874 --> 00:06:39,094 - ANDY--[knocks] I NEED TO TALK TO YOU. 163 00:06:39,137 --> 00:06:40,487 - YEAH, COME ON IN. 164 00:06:40,530 --> 00:06:42,793 I'M JUST ON HOLD WITH ANOTHER TALENT AGENCY. 165 00:06:42,837 --> 00:06:43,838 IT'S INSANE. 166 00:06:43,881 --> 00:06:44,839 THIS PROMO WITH ME PLAYING BANJO 167 00:06:44,882 --> 00:06:46,754 HAS 250 VIEWS ALREADY. 168 00:06:46,797 --> 00:06:48,669 AND EVERY TIME I CLICK, THERE'S MORE. 169 00:06:48,712 --> 00:06:49,931 251. 170 00:06:49,974 --> 00:06:51,933 252. I CAN'T EVEN KEEP UP! 171 00:06:51,976 --> 00:06:53,543 - STANLEY IS REFUSING TO GO OUT ON A SALES CALL. 172 00:06:53,587 --> 00:06:55,545 - [grunts] 173 00:06:55,589 --> 00:06:57,547 I HATE PEOPLE! 174 00:06:57,591 --> 00:06:59,201 WHY DO THEY NEVER DO WHAT YOU NEED THEM TO DO? 175 00:06:59,244 --> 00:07:00,332 STANLEY HAS TO GO. THAT'S FINAL. 176 00:07:00,376 --> 00:07:02,160 - SO WHAT I'M HEARING YOU SAY IS, 177 00:07:02,204 --> 00:07:03,553 "MAKE STANLEY GO OUT ON THE SALES CALL 178 00:07:03,597 --> 00:07:04,859 BY WHATEVER MEANS POSSIBLE"? 179 00:07:04,902 --> 00:07:06,817 - YES! 180 00:07:06,861 --> 00:07:08,210 I'M SORRY I'M BEING CURT, 181 00:07:08,253 --> 00:07:10,908 IT'S JUST I'M ABOUT TO LAND A TOP TALENT AGENT. 182 00:07:10,952 --> 00:07:13,476 - MM-HMM. GOOD LUCK. 183 00:07:13,520 --> 00:07:16,131 - DIRECTORY? 184 00:07:16,174 --> 00:07:19,047 MOVIE STAR DEPARTMENT. 185 00:07:19,090 --> 00:07:21,702 BACK. DIRECTORY. 186 00:07:21,745 --> 00:07:24,226 - FOR FIVE YEARS I'VE HELD MY INSTINCTS IN CHECK 187 00:07:24,269 --> 00:07:26,141 BECAUSE I WANTED TO BE MADE MANAGER. 188 00:07:26,184 --> 00:07:30,885 MAYBE IT'S TIME FOR ME TO JUST LET THAT THOUGHT GO. 189 00:07:30,928 --> 00:07:34,323 IT'S KIND OF PAINFUL, BUT IT'S ALSO FREEING IN A WAY. 190 00:07:34,366 --> 00:07:37,892 NOW IT'S ALL ABOUT MY INSTINCTS. 191 00:07:41,722 --> 00:07:42,679 - HEY, DWIGHT. 192 00:07:42,723 --> 00:07:45,769 - STANLEY, ONE WAY OR ANOTHER, 193 00:07:45,813 --> 00:07:47,902 YOU ARE GONNA COME WITH ME TO MAKE THIS SALE. 194 00:07:47,945 --> 00:07:49,294 - PASS. 195 00:07:49,338 --> 00:07:50,948 - HEY, C-CAN YOU JUST LET ME OUT OF HERE 196 00:07:50,992 --> 00:07:52,254 BEFORE WHATEVER COMES NEXT? 197 00:07:52,297 --> 00:07:53,777 - DON'T WORRY, IT'S JUST A BULL TRANQUILIZER. 198 00:07:53,821 --> 00:07:55,387 NOTHING TO BE ALARMED ABOUT. 199 00:07:55,431 --> 00:07:57,868 IT'S JUST A MAN POINTING A BULL TRANQUILIZER AT A COWORKER. 200 00:07:57,912 --> 00:08:00,349 - DWIGHT, YOU DO NOT LEARN, DO YOU? 201 00:08:00,392 --> 00:08:03,657 FOR A THREAT TO BE CREDIBLE, YOU HA-- 202 00:08:03,700 --> 00:08:05,223 - HOLY [bleep]. 203 00:08:05,267 --> 00:08:07,791 - NO, YOU DIDN'T. 204 00:08:07,835 --> 00:08:11,665 SICK OF YOU AND YOUR--OOH-- [tranquilizer gun fires] 205 00:08:11,708 --> 00:08:13,710 [thud] 206 00:08:16,234 --> 00:08:18,410 - IT'S ALL RIGHT. ANDY APPROVED IT. 207 00:08:20,935 --> 00:08:23,415 - MAN, HE'S REALLY IN TWINKLE TOWN NOW. 208 00:08:23,459 --> 00:08:25,156 - IS HE GONNA BE OKAY? 209 00:08:25,200 --> 00:08:27,158 I MEAN, WEREN'T THOSE DARTS INTENDED FOR AN ANIMAL, 210 00:08:27,202 --> 00:08:30,814 LIKE, TWO TO THREE TIMES LARGER THAN HIM 211 00:08:30,858 --> 00:08:33,208 - OKAY, THIS DOSAGE WAS MEANT FOR A VERY SMALL BULL, 212 00:08:33,251 --> 00:08:35,253 AND STANLEY'S GOT WAY MORE BODY FAT THAN THEY DO. 213 00:08:35,297 --> 00:08:39,693 - YOU GAVE HIM THREE SHOTS. - SHH. 214 00:08:39,736 --> 00:08:41,085 GOT ABOUT 45 MINUTES 215 00:08:41,129 --> 00:08:43,044 TO GET HIM TO THE CLIENT BEFORE HE COMES TO. 216 00:08:43,087 --> 00:08:46,264 GRAB HIS FEET. [grunts] 217 00:08:46,308 --> 00:08:48,223 LET'S GO. MOVE IT! - ALL RIGHT. 218 00:08:48,266 --> 00:08:50,225 - ONE, TWO, THREE. 219 00:08:50,268 --> 00:08:51,618 [grunts] 220 00:08:51,661 --> 00:08:54,055 HE'S LIKE A MANATEE. 221 00:08:54,098 --> 00:08:55,796 READY? LET'S GO AGAIN. COME ON. 222 00:08:55,839 --> 00:08:57,493 WE CAN DO THIS. 223 00:08:57,537 --> 00:08:59,713 ONE, TWO, THREE! 224 00:08:59,756 --> 00:09:01,192 [thumps] 225 00:09:01,236 --> 00:09:02,716 OH, GOD. 226 00:09:02,759 --> 00:09:05,240 NO WONDER MY ELEVATOR CABLES ARE UNDER SUCH STRAIN. 227 00:09:05,283 --> 00:09:07,024 - WE GOTTA GET A WHEELBARROW OR SOMETHING. 228 00:09:07,068 --> 00:09:09,636 - YES. 229 00:09:09,679 --> 00:09:11,202 [grunts] 230 00:09:11,246 --> 00:09:14,118 OKAY. WE'RE GOOD. WE'RE GOOD. LET'S GO. 231 00:09:14,162 --> 00:09:16,599 - OH, MY GOD. 232 00:09:16,643 --> 00:09:19,254 - PUSH. - I AM! 233 00:09:20,298 --> 00:09:21,822 ANY GOOD WEEKEND PLANS? 234 00:09:21,865 --> 00:09:23,475 - I MIGHT SEE A MOVIE. - NICE. 235 00:09:23,519 --> 00:09:24,651 - WHAT ABOUT YOU? 236 00:09:24,694 --> 00:09:26,261 - UH, I DON'T KNOW YET. 237 00:09:26,304 --> 00:09:27,915 - [grunts] LET'S TAKE HIM-- - I WAS THINKING ABOUT... 238 00:09:27,958 --> 00:09:30,526 - LET'S GO RIGHT TO THE TOP OF THE STAIRS, OKAY? 239 00:09:30,570 --> 00:09:33,268 - AND THEN WHAT? 240 00:09:33,311 --> 00:09:35,226 - OKAY, LISTEN. 241 00:09:35,270 --> 00:09:36,576 I'M KIND OF EMBARRASSED TO ADMIT THIS, 242 00:09:36,619 --> 00:09:39,056 BUT I'VE NEVER ACTUALLY DONE THIS BEFORE. 243 00:09:39,100 --> 00:09:43,234 - WELL, IF I MAY, YOU'RE A NATURAL. 244 00:09:43,278 --> 00:09:44,627 - THANK YOU. 245 00:09:44,671 --> 00:09:46,194 I MEAN, I'VE REHEARSED IT IN MY HEAD, 246 00:09:46,237 --> 00:09:47,412 LIKE, 1,000 TIMES, BUT, UH... 247 00:09:47,456 --> 00:09:49,414 - THAT'S A LITTLE WEIRD. 248 00:09:49,458 --> 00:09:52,287 I KNOW. EVEL KNIEVEL. 249 00:10:00,382 --> 00:10:02,514 - THAT'S ABOUT AS GOOD AS THAT'S GONNA BE. 250 00:10:02,558 --> 00:10:04,299 - OKAY, NOW HERE'S THE PLAN. 251 00:10:04,342 --> 00:10:05,735 I'M GONNA LAUNCH HIM. 252 00:10:05,779 --> 00:10:07,084 I NEED YOU TO GO DOWN TO THE BOTTOM AND CATCH HIM. 253 00:10:07,128 --> 00:10:08,433 - CATCH? - YEAH. 254 00:10:08,477 --> 00:10:10,218 - I CAN'T CATCH HIM, HE'S, LIKE, 250 POUNDS. 255 00:10:10,261 --> 00:10:13,308 - YOU USE YOUR HANDS AND JUST BLUNT HIS DESCENT, OKAY? 256 00:10:13,351 --> 00:10:15,092 HE'S GONNA BE MOVING SLOWLY. - BLUNT? 257 00:10:15,136 --> 00:10:17,965 - IT'S ONLY--IT'S 15 FEET DOWN, IT'S AT A 45-DEGREE ANGLE. 258 00:10:18,008 --> 00:10:20,184 GET SET IN YOUR HAUNCHES, IT'S LIKE YOUR CATCHING A MEDICINE-- 259 00:10:20,228 --> 00:10:21,925 - DUDE, THE SIZE OF MY HAUNCHES-- 260 00:10:21,969 --> 00:10:24,841 [thumps] 261 00:10:24,885 --> 00:10:27,496 - OKAY, GOOD CALL. 262 00:10:27,539 --> 00:10:29,063 HE WOULD HAVE PUT A HOLE IN YOUR CHEST 263 00:10:29,106 --> 00:10:30,586 SAME AS HE PUT A HOLE IN THAT WALL. 264 00:10:30,630 --> 00:10:35,460 - WE SHOULD PROBABLY CALL A DOCTOR OR SOMETHING, DUDE. 265 00:10:38,725 --> 00:10:39,943 - YOU OKAY? 266 00:10:39,987 --> 00:10:42,380 - SO HOW DOES IT WORK? IS IT LIKE, YOU KNOW, 267 00:10:42,424 --> 00:10:43,773 THE ACTION OF TALKING TO A THIRD PARTY 268 00:10:43,817 --> 00:10:45,688 BREAKS UP THE LOG JAM, OR... 269 00:10:45,732 --> 00:10:47,472 - YOU'RE REALLY THERE TO TALK TO EACH OTHER. 270 00:10:47,516 --> 00:10:51,302 I WOULD SAY THAT THE THERAPIST IS MORE OF A FACILITATOR. 271 00:10:51,346 --> 00:10:53,261 - MM-HMM. 272 00:10:53,304 --> 00:10:55,045 - HE MIGHT START BY ASKING EACH OF YOU, 273 00:10:55,089 --> 00:10:56,786 "WHY DO YOU THINK YOU'RE HERE?" 274 00:10:56,830 --> 00:10:59,615 - HE TOOK THIS JOB IN PHILLY WITHOUT TELLING ME. 275 00:10:59,659 --> 00:11:02,009 HE BOUGHT OUR HOUSE WITHOUT TELLING ME. 276 00:11:02,052 --> 00:11:04,576 AT A CERTAIN POINT, HE SHOULDN'T BE REWARDED FOR THAT. 277 00:11:04,620 --> 00:11:07,884 - IF I DIDN'T DO CERTAIN THINGS WITHOUT TELLING PAM, 278 00:11:07,928 --> 00:11:12,541 SHE'D BE MARRIED TO ROY... [chuckles] 279 00:11:12,584 --> 00:11:14,891 - I FEEL LIKE HE'S ALWAYS MAKING THESE DECISIONS FOR THE FAMILY, 280 00:11:14,935 --> 00:11:16,893 AND THEN I'M LEFT PLAYING CATCH-UP. 281 00:11:16,937 --> 00:11:19,853 - IF SHE CAN JUST HANG ON FOR A LITTLE WHILE LONGER, 282 00:11:19,896 --> 00:11:22,464 I--THIS WILL BE SO HUGE FOR OUR FAMILY. 283 00:11:22,507 --> 00:11:25,597 - WELL, WHAT'S A LITTLE WHILE? 284 00:11:25,641 --> 00:11:27,251 - WHAT DO YOU MEAN? 285 00:11:27,295 --> 00:11:29,732 - I MEAN, WHAT'S THE END DATE? 286 00:11:29,776 --> 00:11:32,648 IT MUST BE REALLY HARD FOR HER TO SIGN ON TO BE UNHAPPY 287 00:11:32,692 --> 00:11:35,042 IF SHE DOESN'T KNOW WHEN IT'S GONNA END. 288 00:11:35,085 --> 00:11:40,090 - THAT'S KIND OF AN IMPOSSIBLE QUESTION. 289 00:11:42,527 --> 00:11:44,181 - OH, GUYS, IT'S STARTING! HURRY! 290 00:11:47,315 --> 00:11:49,317 - OOH, THERE'S ANGELA. 291 00:11:49,360 --> 00:11:50,318 I WORK WITH HER. 292 00:11:50,361 --> 00:11:52,102 - HUH. YEAH. [chuckles] 293 00:11:52,146 --> 00:11:55,366 I MEAN, I'M HAPPY ANGELA'S THE FIRST ONE GETTING FAMOUS, 294 00:11:55,410 --> 00:11:58,587 BUT IT'S A LITTLE WEIRD, NO? 295 00:11:58,630 --> 00:11:59,936 I MEAN, SHE CAN'T SING OR ACT, 296 00:11:59,980 --> 00:12:01,590 SO IT'S ACTUALLY KIND OF INSANE, 297 00:12:01,633 --> 00:12:03,418 IF YOU THINK ABOUT IT. 298 00:12:03,461 --> 00:12:04,767 - HER HAIR LOOKS BEAUTIFUL. 299 00:12:04,811 --> 00:12:06,203 - YEAH, WE GET IT, PHYLLIS, 300 00:12:06,247 --> 00:12:08,292 SHE LOOKS LIKE A FREAKIN' MOVIE STAR! 301 00:12:08,336 --> 00:12:10,599 - ANDY. 302 00:12:10,642 --> 00:12:13,297 - I WOULD JUST LIKE TO START BY SAYING 303 00:12:13,341 --> 00:12:17,867 THAT THERE HAVE BEEN SOME RUMORS ABOUT MY PERSONAL LIFE 304 00:12:17,911 --> 00:12:20,696 THAT I WOULD LIKE TO SETTLE ONCE AND FOR ALL. 305 00:12:20,740 --> 00:12:25,353 AS MY LONG-SUFFERING WIFE CAN ATTEST... 306 00:12:25,396 --> 00:12:26,789 I AM GAY. 307 00:12:26,833 --> 00:12:28,704 [surprised chatter] 308 00:12:28,748 --> 00:12:32,490 - SENATOR, WERE YOU ALWAYS GAY, OR DID YOUR WIFE TURN YOU GAY? 309 00:12:32,534 --> 00:12:33,535 - QUESTION FOR THE SENATOR'S BEARD 310 00:12:36,103 --> 00:12:39,062 - I'LL SAY IT AGAIN FOR MIS AMIGOS LATINOS, 311 00:12:39,106 --> 00:12:43,284 YO SOY HOMOSEXUAL. - POOR ANGELA. 312 00:12:43,327 --> 00:12:45,460 - [chuckles] YEAH. POOR ANGELA. 313 00:12:45,503 --> 00:12:47,418 - I ONCE BELIEVED THAT A GAY PERSON 314 00:12:47,462 --> 00:12:49,594 COULD BE SOMEWHAT STRAIGHT. 315 00:12:49,638 --> 00:12:53,294 IT WASN'T UNTIL MY MARRIAGE TO ANGELA 316 00:12:53,337 --> 00:12:55,775 THAT I REALIZED HOW... 317 00:12:55,818 --> 00:12:59,039 CHARMLESS I FIND THE FEMALE BODY. 318 00:12:59,082 --> 00:13:01,389 - OOH. ALWAYS HURTS TO HEAR THAT ONE. 319 00:13:01,432 --> 00:13:04,261 - THERE'S SOMEONE ELSE I NEED TO THANK. 320 00:13:04,305 --> 00:13:07,047 HIS NAME IS OSCAR MARTINEZ. 321 00:13:07,090 --> 00:13:09,223 - COME ON. 322 00:13:09,266 --> 00:13:13,227 - OSCAR IS THE ONE WHO OPENED MY EYES TO WHO I REALLY AM. 323 00:13:13,270 --> 00:13:16,491 - OSCAR IS WITH THE SENATOR TOO? 324 00:13:16,534 --> 00:13:20,103 - YES! AND I KNEW IT THE WHOLE TIME. 325 00:13:20,147 --> 00:13:24,586 I KEPT THE SECRET. I KEPT THE SECRET SO GOOD. 326 00:13:24,629 --> 00:13:26,414 YOU DIDN'T KNOW, YOU DIDN'T KNOW, 327 00:13:26,457 --> 00:13:28,590 AND YOU DIDN'T FREAKING KNOW. 328 00:13:28,633 --> 00:13:30,331 BUT I KNEW! 329 00:13:30,374 --> 00:13:32,159 - HE KNEW! - YES! WE DID IT. 330 00:13:32,202 --> 00:13:33,987 - YOU DID IT, KEVIN. 331 00:13:34,030 --> 00:13:35,684 - YES! 332 00:13:35,727 --> 00:13:37,207 OH! 333 00:13:37,251 --> 00:13:40,732 I DID IT. I DID IT. 334 00:13:40,776 --> 00:13:42,734 - WITH THIS NEW SELF-AWARENESS, 335 00:13:42,778 --> 00:13:47,217 I WAS FINALLY ABLE TO FIND LOVE AT LONG LAST. 336 00:13:47,261 --> 00:13:48,828 WITH MY AMAZING... 337 00:13:48,871 --> 00:13:52,396 CHIEF OF STAFF WESLEY SILVER. 338 00:13:52,440 --> 00:13:55,182 - WHAT? - WESLEY SILVER'S GAY? 339 00:13:55,225 --> 00:13:58,359 [surprised chatter] - [gasps] 340 00:13:58,402 --> 00:14:00,274 - THEY MAKE A NICE COUPLE. - [gags] 341 00:14:00,317 --> 00:14:03,712 [both grunting] 342 00:14:03,755 --> 00:14:06,280 - ALMOST THERE. ALMOST THERE. 343 00:14:06,323 --> 00:14:08,848 OKAY. 344 00:14:08,891 --> 00:14:10,545 WE'RE RUNNING LATE. LET'S GET HIM INSIDE. 345 00:14:10,588 --> 00:14:13,156 - WE CAN'T JUST LEAVE HIM BUBBLE WRAPPED LIKE THIS. 346 00:14:13,200 --> 00:14:14,201 - ARE YOU KIDDING ME? 347 00:14:14,244 --> 00:14:15,593 THE BUBBLE WRAP IS THE ONLY THING 348 00:14:15,637 --> 00:14:17,073 THAT'S STOPPING HIS SUIT FROM GETTING WRINKLED. 349 00:14:17,117 --> 00:14:19,597 THESE MEETINGS ARE ALL ABOUT PRESENTATION. 350 00:14:19,641 --> 00:14:21,773 - THAT'S ACTUALLY REALLY SMART. 351 00:14:21,817 --> 00:14:23,166 - THANK YOU. 352 00:14:23,210 --> 00:14:25,212 - GOD, IF ONLY THERE WAS ANY OTHER USE OR SITUATION 353 00:14:25,255 --> 00:14:26,343 FOR THAT KIND OF KNOWLEDGE. 354 00:14:26,387 --> 00:14:27,649 - LET'S GET HIM INSIDE. 355 00:14:27,692 --> 00:14:30,130 - CARLA FERN IS NOT JUST AN ACTOR'S AGENT. 356 00:14:30,173 --> 00:14:34,917 SHE DOES WRITERS, DIRECTORS, TRAVEL, AND REAL ESTATE. 357 00:14:34,961 --> 00:14:37,180 ACTOR? 358 00:14:37,224 --> 00:14:38,573 - OH, NO. [chuckles] 359 00:14:38,616 --> 00:14:39,922 WELL, I HAVE AN ACT. 360 00:14:39,966 --> 00:14:41,968 DOG, CAT, MOUSE. 361 00:14:42,011 --> 00:14:43,926 - YEAH, WOW, COOL. 362 00:14:43,970 --> 00:14:47,234 IS IT HARD TO TRAIN THEM TO DO THAT? 363 00:14:47,277 --> 00:14:49,410 - EH, YOU GO THROUGH A LOT OF MICE. 364 00:14:49,453 --> 00:14:51,194 IT STARTED BY ACCIDENT, ACTUALLY, 365 00:14:51,238 --> 00:14:52,326 AS THESE THINGS TEND TO DO. 366 00:14:52,369 --> 00:14:53,631 YOU KNOW, I WAS SETTING DOWN MY CAT, 367 00:14:53,675 --> 00:14:55,068 AND I ACCIDENTALLY PUT HER ON TOP OF MY DOG, 368 00:14:55,111 --> 00:14:56,939 AND I WAS, LIKE, SO MAD AT MYSELF AT FIRST. 369 00:14:56,983 --> 00:15:01,161 AND THEN I WAS LIKE, WAIT. WAIT A SECOND. 370 00:15:01,204 --> 00:15:02,945 - DOES ANYTHING GO ON TOP OF THE MOUSE? 371 00:15:02,989 --> 00:15:04,686 - YEAH. 372 00:15:04,729 --> 00:15:07,645 LITTLE HAT. YEAH. - AW, THAT'S CUTE. 373 00:15:07,689 --> 00:15:09,125 WHAT'S THE MOUSE'S NAME? 374 00:15:09,169 --> 00:15:10,474 - EH, YOU KNOW, 375 00:15:10,518 --> 00:15:14,348 IT REALLY DOESN'T MAKE SENSE TO NAME THE MICE. 376 00:15:14,391 --> 00:15:16,872 THEY'RE KIND OF LIKE CANNON FODDER, YOU KNOW? 377 00:15:16,916 --> 00:15:19,962 YOU'RE NOT ONE OF THOSE PETA GUYS, ARE YOU? 378 00:15:20,006 --> 00:15:22,312 OH, GREAT. 379 00:15:22,356 --> 00:15:24,749 - HEY, WAIT, WAIT, HOW-- HOW WE DOING THIS? 380 00:15:24,793 --> 00:15:28,057 - WELL, I'LL GRAB THE FORELEGS, AND YOU PUSH HIS HINDQUARTERS. 381 00:15:28,101 --> 00:15:30,581 - JUST SAY "ARMS" AND "LEGS," OKAY? THAT JUST-- 382 00:15:30,625 --> 00:15:32,148 THAT'S THE VERNACULAR THAT I'M COMFORTABLE WITH. 383 00:15:32,192 --> 00:15:33,323 - FINE, LET'S GO. 384 00:15:33,367 --> 00:15:34,890 - [sighs] 385 00:15:34,934 --> 00:15:36,457 - HOIST HIS SHANK ON THREE. 386 00:15:36,500 --> 00:15:38,285 - WHAT'S A SHANK? - IT'S BY THE TENDERLOIN. 387 00:15:38,328 --> 00:15:41,984 ROLL HIM, ROLL HIM, ROLL HIM. GOOD. GOOD. 388 00:15:42,028 --> 00:15:43,986 OKAY, CAREFUL, HE'S SLOUCHING. 389 00:15:44,030 --> 00:15:46,032 OKAY, CAN YOU-- SLOUCH HIM INTO THE SEAT. 390 00:15:46,075 --> 00:15:48,382 [grunts] HERE. GO AROUND, GET THE SEATBELT. 391 00:15:48,425 --> 00:15:52,429 - ALL RIGHT. 392 00:15:52,473 --> 00:15:56,999 - GOT IT? - YEAH--YUP. 393 00:15:57,043 --> 00:15:59,871 - [grunts] 394 00:15:59,915 --> 00:16:01,264 GET IN THE BACK. 395 00:16:01,308 --> 00:16:03,005 - WHAT? - GET IN THE BACK. 396 00:16:03,049 --> 00:16:05,529 - AW, COME ON. - GET IN. 397 00:16:11,927 --> 00:16:13,407 - OKAY, STANLEY? 398 00:16:13,450 --> 00:16:16,410 DO YOU UNDERSTAND WHAT WE'RE ABOUT TO DO? 399 00:16:16,453 --> 00:16:19,021 - HELLO. - OKAY, WE--HEY. 400 00:16:19,065 --> 00:16:21,284 HEY, LISTEN, LISTEN. 401 00:16:21,328 --> 00:16:24,461 WE ARE GOING TO GO DISCUSS PAPER CONTRACTS 402 00:16:24,505 --> 00:16:27,769 FOR CITY OF LACKAWANNA PUBLIC SCHOOLS, OKAY? 403 00:16:27,812 --> 00:16:30,380 - PIGEONS. - OH, GOD, THIS IS BAD. 404 00:16:30,424 --> 00:16:32,948 LOOKS LIKE WE'VE GOT NO CHOICE. 405 00:16:32,992 --> 00:16:37,474 YOU, MY FRIEND, ARE GOING TO HAVE TO BE STANLEY HUDSON. 406 00:16:37,518 --> 00:16:41,435 - ISN'T THE CLIENT, LIKE, BEST FRIENDS WITH HIS SISTER? 407 00:16:41,478 --> 00:16:43,219 - NEW PLAN, OKAY? 408 00:16:43,263 --> 00:16:45,700 WE GET HIM A CUP OF COFFEE AND WE GO BACK TO THE OLD PLAN. 409 00:16:45,743 --> 00:16:47,615 LET'S GO. GIMME A HAND. 410 00:16:47,658 --> 00:16:49,399 HERE WE GO. COME ON, STANLEY! 411 00:16:49,443 --> 00:16:51,880 HERE WE GO. UPSIE-DOOZIE. THERE WE GO. 412 00:16:51,923 --> 00:16:55,188 OKAY, ALL RIGHT. COME ON, BIG GUY. 413 00:16:55,231 --> 00:16:56,537 YOU CAN WALK, RIGHT? YEAH. [laughs] 414 00:16:56,580 --> 00:16:58,408 WHAT A PRETTY SMILE. LET'S GO. 415 00:16:58,452 --> 00:17:02,456 - I'M SURE ATHLETE WILL BE A HUGE SUCCESS. 416 00:17:02,499 --> 00:17:04,153 BUT I DON'T WANT HIM TO DO IT ANYMORE, 417 00:17:04,197 --> 00:17:05,807 AND I DON'T WANT TO GIVE HIM AN ULTIMATUM, 418 00:17:05,850 --> 00:17:08,288 BUT I AM NOT MOVING OUR FAMILY TO PHILLY. 419 00:17:08,331 --> 00:17:11,508 - WELL, IF PAM SAYS SHE WON'T GO, THEN--[chuckles] 420 00:17:11,552 --> 00:17:13,032 WE'RE GONNA NEED A LOT MORE THAN COUNSELING. 421 00:17:13,075 --> 00:17:15,034 HMPH. 422 00:17:16,905 --> 00:17:18,733 - THAT WAS EXHAUSTING. 423 00:17:18,776 --> 00:17:20,604 - BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH. 424 00:17:20,648 --> 00:17:21,997 JIM. 425 00:17:22,041 --> 00:17:23,738 - WELL, THEY DESERVE EACH OTHER, THEN. 426 00:17:23,781 --> 00:17:25,131 - THEY DO. THAT THEY DO. - THAT IS FOR SURE. 427 00:17:25,174 --> 00:17:26,654 - [whispers] THAT THEY DO. 428 00:17:33,661 --> 00:17:36,055 - AND FOR--OH, WHOOPSIE DAISY. [chuckles] 429 00:17:36,098 --> 00:17:37,665 - STANLEY, WHAT IS GOING ON HERE? 430 00:17:37,708 --> 00:17:38,883 - HE'S FINE. 431 00:17:38,927 --> 00:17:41,408 HE GETS CARSICK REALLY EASILY. - DRIVING. 432 00:17:41,451 --> 00:17:43,453 - IT'S A LONG DRIVE. HE WAS IN THE BACKSEAT. 433 00:17:43,497 --> 00:17:45,107 BUT RIGHT NOW WE'RE TALKING TO MRS. DAVIS 434 00:17:45,151 --> 00:17:47,240 ABOUT THE FULL RANGE OF THE PRODUCTS THAT WE OFFER 435 00:17:47,283 --> 00:17:49,938 AND OUR COMPETITIVE RATES, RIGHT, STANLEY? 436 00:17:51,418 --> 00:17:53,159 - OOH-HOO, LOOK AT THAT BABY... 437 00:17:53,202 --> 00:17:58,164 - STANLEY. - OH... 438 00:17:58,207 --> 00:17:59,687 - THAT'S BENJI IN THE MIDDLE. 439 00:17:59,730 --> 00:18:03,212 - THAT'S BENJI. OH, HE'S PRECIOUS. 440 00:18:03,256 --> 00:18:05,214 THAT'S A HEALTHY-LOOKING BABY. 441 00:18:05,258 --> 00:18:07,129 - VERY SPECIAL LITTLE BOY. 442 00:18:07,173 --> 00:18:11,481 - LOOK AT HIM. I'VE NEVER SEEN SUCH A BEAUTIFUL CHILD. 443 00:18:11,525 --> 00:18:12,656 - FUNNY SENSE OF HUMOR. 444 00:18:12,700 --> 00:18:13,962 IF YOU PUSH HIS NOSE, HE'LL GO, "EEE." 445 00:18:14,005 --> 00:18:15,877 - LIKE THIS? WATCH. - EEE. 446 00:18:15,920 --> 00:18:17,139 [laughter] - LIKE THAT. 447 00:18:17,183 --> 00:18:19,228 - A BEAUTIFUL FAMILY. 448 00:18:19,272 --> 00:18:22,057 [laughter] 449 00:18:22,101 --> 00:18:24,538 - RIGHT? COME ON! 450 00:18:24,581 --> 00:18:26,583 YEAH, MAYBE I'LL NEVER BE MANAGER, 451 00:18:26,627 --> 00:18:30,674 BUT I JUST MANAGED TO GET OUR MOST STUBBORN SALESMAN 452 00:18:30,718 --> 00:18:33,155 TO CLOSE A SALE WITH ONE OF OUR BIGGEST CLIENTS, 453 00:18:33,199 --> 00:18:36,376 AND I MUST SAY IT'S THE MOST PLEASANT I'VE EVER SEEN STANLEY. 454 00:18:36,419 --> 00:18:38,029 I THINK WE SHOULD CONSIDER INJECTING HIM 455 00:18:38,073 --> 00:18:40,119 WITH BULL TRANQUILIZER ON A DAILY BASIS. 456 00:18:40,162 --> 00:18:43,339 - SO WHAT CAN YOU DO? 457 00:18:43,383 --> 00:18:46,212 - [Australian accent] WELL, WHAT CAN'T I DO? 458 00:18:46,255 --> 00:18:48,344 RIGHT? I CAN SING, 459 00:18:48,388 --> 00:18:52,305 I CAN PLAY THE BANJO, INNIT? 460 00:18:52,348 --> 00:18:54,307 AND IF YOU HADN'T NOTICED, 461 00:18:54,350 --> 00:18:57,179 I'VE GOT A PRETTY GOOD BRITISH ACCENT. 462 00:18:57,223 --> 00:18:58,528 - CAN YOU DRIVE A CAR? 463 00:18:58,572 --> 00:19:00,269 - AT THE RISK OF SOUNDING ARROGANT, 464 00:19:00,313 --> 00:19:02,184 I DID DRIVE MYSELF HERE. 465 00:19:02,228 --> 00:19:03,446 - WHY DO YOU HAVE, UH, 466 00:19:03,490 --> 00:19:06,275 A HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL HERE ON YOUR RESUME? 467 00:19:06,319 --> 00:19:08,669 WHAT ARE YOU, LIKE, 40? 45? 468 00:19:08,712 --> 00:19:10,845 - MY EXACT AGE IS 28 TO 34, 469 00:19:10,888 --> 00:19:12,194 SO BASICALLY JUST SEND ME OUT 470 00:19:12,238 --> 00:19:14,240 ON WHATEVER JAKE GYLLENHAAL'S GOING OUT ON. 471 00:19:14,283 --> 00:19:17,286 - GYLLENHAAL, GOT IT. 472 00:19:17,330 --> 00:19:19,810 CAN YOU JUGGLE AND CRAP? 473 00:19:19,854 --> 00:19:21,290 - YES. 474 00:19:21,334 --> 00:19:23,336 AND YES. [chuckles] 475 00:19:23,379 --> 00:19:26,730 - WOULD YOU DRESS UP AS, SAY, A BIRTHDAY CLOWN 476 00:19:26,774 --> 00:19:31,822 AND GO TO A KID'S PARTY, LET THEM THROW PIES AT YA? 477 00:19:31,866 --> 00:19:34,216 - WHEREAS THAT IS NOT 478 00:19:34,260 --> 00:19:37,524 WHY I HAVE ENTERED SHOW BUSINESS, 479 00:19:37,567 --> 00:19:41,832 I DO UNDERSTAND THAT YOU HAVE TO BUILD CREDIBILITY. 480 00:19:41,876 --> 00:19:44,270 [sniffs] I'M ALL FOR IT. 481 00:19:44,313 --> 00:19:46,228 - WELL, MR. BERNARD, I'M GONNA BE HONEST WITH YOU. 482 00:19:46,272 --> 00:19:49,275 - WELL, AT LEAST I TRIED. THANK YOU VERY MUCH. 483 00:19:49,318 --> 00:19:53,322 - NO, WE'RE--WE'RE GONNA TAKE YOU ON AS A CLIENT. 484 00:19:56,369 --> 00:19:59,023 - YOU ARE? 485 00:19:59,067 --> 00:20:01,287 YES! 486 00:20:01,330 --> 00:20:04,246 YES. 487 00:20:04,290 --> 00:20:06,335 ARE YOU BEING FOR REAL RIGHT NOW? 488 00:20:06,379 --> 00:20:07,641 OH, MAN. 489 00:20:07,684 --> 00:20:09,251 AH, YES! 490 00:20:09,295 --> 00:20:10,818 I NEED THIS SO BAD. 491 00:20:10,861 --> 00:20:14,909 I REALLY THINK THIS IS WHAT COULD FIX ME. 492 00:20:14,952 --> 00:20:18,956 - WE ARE EXTREMELY EXCITED TO BE WORKING WITH YOU TOO, SIR. 493 00:20:20,480 --> 00:20:23,309 PAY TODD ON YOUR WAY OUT. 494 00:20:23,352 --> 00:20:27,356 - MOST TALENT AGENTS TAKE 10% OF WHATEVER JOBS THEY GET YOU, 495 00:20:27,400 --> 00:20:30,925 BUT WITH CARLA YOU PAY A FLAT RATE 496 00:20:30,968 --> 00:20:33,406 OF $5,000 UP FRONT. 497 00:20:33,449 --> 00:20:36,191 AND THAT INCLUDES HEADSHOTS. 498 00:20:36,235 --> 00:20:37,627 - UH, IT DOESN'T INCLUDE HEADSHOTS. 499 00:20:37,671 --> 00:20:39,412 - IT DOESN'T INCLUDE HEADSHOTS. - NO. 500 00:20:39,455 --> 00:20:42,371 - WELL, OF COURSE NOT, BECAUSE THAT WOULD BE INSANE IF IT DID. 501 00:20:42,415 --> 00:20:45,809 STILL GETTING A BARGAIN, THOUGH. 502 00:20:48,856 --> 00:20:52,294 - SO I JUST SMILED AND COMPLIMENTED HER GRANDKIDS, 503 00:20:52,338 --> 00:20:54,035 AND WE CLOSED IT? 504 00:20:54,078 --> 00:20:55,428 - YOU EARNED YOURSELF A NICE, FAT COMMISSION 505 00:20:55,471 --> 00:20:58,300 AND YOU DIDN'T EVEN KNOW IT. 506 00:20:58,344 --> 00:21:01,172 I'LL GO TELL ANDY THE GOOD NEWS. 507 00:21:01,216 --> 00:21:04,263 OH. [chuckles] SILLY ME. GOTTA TAKE THE STAIRS. 508 00:21:04,306 --> 00:21:06,047 - OH, NO, I'M NOT DOING THAT AGAIN. 509 00:21:06,090 --> 00:21:08,179 YOU GOT ME DOWN, YOU GOTTA GET ME BACK UP. 510 00:21:08,223 --> 00:21:10,225 - WELL--NO, NO--N-- 511 00:21:19,539 --> 00:21:21,671 WE NEED A WINCH AND A HOIST.