1 00:00:04,569 --> 00:00:06,397 - OH. HEY, CHAMPIONS. 2 00:00:06,441 --> 00:00:08,660 - GOOD MORNING. - QUARTERFINALS IN AN HOUR. 3 00:00:08,704 --> 00:00:10,314 HOPE YOU GOT SOME SLEEP, 4 00:00:10,358 --> 00:00:12,534 'CAUSE I AM GONNA BE HAUNTING YOUR NIGHTMARES TONIGHT. 5 00:00:12,577 --> 00:00:14,666 - I DID. I GOT SOME REALLY GOOD SLEEP. 6 00:00:14,710 --> 00:00:17,582 - DID YOU? - ZZZ. 7 00:00:20,368 --> 00:00:21,543 - YESTERDAY WAS THE FIRST ROUND 8 00:00:21,586 --> 00:00:23,327 OF A BRANCH-WIDE PAPER AIRPLANE CONTEST. 9 00:00:23,371 --> 00:00:25,677 IT WAS BEING SPONSORED BY WEYERHAMMER PAPER 10 00:00:25,721 --> 00:00:28,419 IN AN EFFORT TO GET US TO SELL MORE OF THEIR NEW PRODUCT, 11 00:00:28,463 --> 00:00:33,207 AIRSTREAM DELUXE A4, THE CADILLAC OF PAPER. 12 00:00:33,250 --> 00:00:35,339 IT'S NOT SO EASY ON THE ENVIRONMENT, 13 00:00:35,383 --> 00:00:36,645 IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN. 14 00:00:36,688 --> 00:00:39,474 IT'S PRACTICALLY MADE OF PLASTIC. 15 00:00:39,517 --> 00:00:41,606 - WE STARTED WITH 16 BRAVE AVIATORS. 16 00:00:41,650 --> 00:00:44,609 SOME USED SKILL. [cheers and applause] 17 00:00:44,653 --> 00:00:46,742 OTHERS RELIED ON SHOWMANSHIP. 18 00:00:46,785 --> 00:00:48,396 [aww-ing] 19 00:00:48,439 --> 00:00:52,400 OTHERS SEEMED NOT TO COMPREHEND WHAT A PAPER AIRPLANE IS. 20 00:00:52,443 --> 00:00:53,531 AND OF COURSE THERE WAS THE ODD MOMENT 21 00:00:53,575 --> 00:00:55,577 OF HEARTBREAK AND DISASTER. 22 00:00:55,620 --> 00:00:57,231 - HEY, I LEFT MY GLASSES DOWN HERE SOMEWHERE. 23 00:00:57,274 --> 00:00:58,797 CROSSING THROUGH. BEEP BEEP. 24 00:00:58,841 --> 00:01:00,582 OW! 25 00:01:00,625 --> 00:01:01,409 OW! [all gasping] 26 00:01:01,452 --> 00:01:02,540 - I DIDN'T SEE YOU. 27 00:01:02,584 --> 00:01:03,889 YOU SHOULD HAVE YELLED, "CROSSING"! 28 00:01:03,933 --> 00:01:06,805 - I'M SORRY. 29 00:01:06,849 --> 00:01:09,808 - OKAY, SO IS THAT MY SPOT? 30 00:01:09,852 --> 00:01:12,420 - WE ARE NOW DOWN TO AN ELITE EIGHT. 31 00:01:12,463 --> 00:01:15,684 WELL, SEVEN AND TOBY. 32 00:01:15,727 --> 00:01:18,687 [cheerful music] 33 00:01:18,730 --> 00:01:26,216 ♪ 34 00:01:26,260 --> 00:01:29,306 - "BE CAREFUL OF THAT BEAKER. IT CONTAINS DANGEROUS ACID!" 35 00:01:29,350 --> 00:01:30,699 - IT DOES NOT SAY "DANGEROUS." 36 00:01:30,742 --> 00:01:32,396 AND THERE'S NO EXCLAMATION POINT. 37 00:01:32,440 --> 00:01:35,617 - WELL, I'M JUST--I'M TRYING TO BRING SOME LIFE TO IT. 38 00:01:35,660 --> 00:01:37,009 LAST WEEK I GOT AN AGENT. 39 00:01:37,053 --> 00:01:40,230 AND THIS WEEK I GOT A MOVIE. 40 00:01:40,274 --> 00:01:42,232 HRPDC CHEMICAL HANDLING PROTOCOLS. 41 00:01:42,276 --> 00:01:44,408 IT'S GONNA BE SEEN BY TONS OF WORKERS 42 00:01:44,452 --> 00:01:46,193 IN THE INDUSTRIAL CHEMICAL COMMUNITY, 43 00:01:46,236 --> 00:01:50,327 ONE OF WHOM COULD HAVE A COUSIN WHOSE BROTHER IS BRAD PITT. 44 00:01:50,371 --> 00:01:53,374 AND THEN, BOOM, NEXT THING YOU KNOW, 45 00:01:53,417 --> 00:01:55,202 I'M IN MONEYBALLS 2. 46 00:01:55,245 --> 00:01:58,074 - ANDY. - GO AWAY. WE'RE RUNNING LINES. 47 00:01:58,118 --> 00:01:59,989 - YOU WANTED TO SEE THE GOOEY EYE. 48 00:02:00,032 --> 00:02:02,296 - OH, YEAH. ALL RIGHT, GET OVER HERE. 49 00:02:02,339 --> 00:02:04,341 I AM SO FREAKED OUT 50 00:02:04,385 --> 00:02:07,170 BY THINGS GOING INTO EYES. 51 00:02:07,214 --> 00:02:12,393 IT JUST--WOW. 52 00:02:12,436 --> 00:02:13,437 UGH. 53 00:02:13,481 --> 00:02:15,961 UGH. I CAN'T EVEN. 54 00:02:16,005 --> 00:02:18,355 I'M SO FREAKED OUT BY THAT. JUST GO. GO, GO, GO, GO, GO. 55 00:02:18,399 --> 00:02:19,574 - ALL RIGHT, BUT IT'S GETTING GOOIER, 56 00:02:19,617 --> 00:02:22,794 SO WE'LL JUST DO IT LATER. - OKAY. 57 00:02:22,838 --> 00:02:24,883 - ALL RIGHT. WHERE WERE WE? 58 00:02:24,927 --> 00:02:26,450 - SOMETHING FULL OF ACID. 59 00:02:26,494 --> 00:02:28,278 - "AND, REMEMBER, DO NOT ATTEMPT 60 00:02:28,322 --> 00:02:30,411 "TO EXTINGUISH A CHEMICAL FIRE WITH WATER. 61 00:02:30,454 --> 00:02:34,632 IT WILL ONLY EXACERBATE THE FLAME, THE DANGEROUS FLAME." 62 00:02:34,676 --> 00:02:36,025 - THAT WAS GREAT, MAN. 63 00:02:36,068 --> 00:02:37,331 ALL RIGHT, I'M OUT OF HERE. 64 00:02:37,374 --> 00:02:39,289 - WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, STOP, STOP, STOP. 65 00:02:39,333 --> 00:02:42,379 DON'T GO ANYWHERE. I JUST NEED TO FIND MORE COLORS. 66 00:02:42,423 --> 00:02:45,817 LET'S DO IT SIX MORE TIMES. 67 00:02:47,428 --> 00:02:49,430 - HEY. I JUST WANTED TO SAY 68 00:02:49,473 --> 00:02:52,389 THAT YOU WOKE UP EARLY WITH THE KIDS AND LET ME SLEEP, 69 00:02:52,433 --> 00:02:55,131 AND I REALLY APPRECIATE THAT. 70 00:02:55,175 --> 00:02:56,524 - THANK YOU. 71 00:02:56,567 --> 00:02:59,396 I APPRECIATE THAT YOU APPRECIATE THAT. 72 00:02:59,440 --> 00:03:01,659 SO WE HAD COUPLES THERAPY. 73 00:03:01,703 --> 00:03:03,835 - NO SHAME IN THAT. GET IT ALL OUT IN THE OPEN. 74 00:03:03,879 --> 00:03:05,141 - AND WE HAVE HOMEWORK. 75 00:03:05,185 --> 00:03:06,838 - YES, WE ARE SUPPOSED TO LOOK FOR EVERY CHANCE 76 00:03:06,882 --> 00:03:10,233 TO ACKNOWLEDGE AND APPRECIATE EACH OTHER'S SACRIFICES, 77 00:03:10,277 --> 00:03:13,454 BECAUSE I NEED TO APPRECIATE WHAT PAM'S BEEN DOING 78 00:03:13,497 --> 00:03:14,890 TO RUN THE HOUSE WHILE I'M IN PHILLY. 79 00:03:14,933 --> 00:03:17,588 - AND WE'RE ALSO SUPPOSED TO SPEAK OUR TRUTHS, 80 00:03:17,632 --> 00:03:20,461 BECAUSE, IF I HAD SPOKEN MY TRUTH EARLIER 81 00:03:20,504 --> 00:03:22,071 ABOUT NOT WANTING TO MOVE TO PHILLY, 82 00:03:22,114 --> 00:03:24,856 THEN MAYBE WE WOULDN'T HAVE HAD THIS OPPORTUNITY 83 00:03:24,900 --> 00:03:26,771 FOR COUPLES THERAPY. - OH, WE'RE SUPPOSED TO CALL 84 00:03:26,815 --> 00:03:29,339 EVERYTHING WE DON'T WANT TO DO OPPORTUNITIES. 85 00:03:29,383 --> 00:03:31,428 - HEADS UP, EVERYONE. 86 00:03:31,472 --> 00:03:33,517 IF YOU REALLY NEED SOMETHING FROM ME TODAY, 87 00:03:33,561 --> 00:03:35,650 LET'S GET IT DONE TOMORROW. 88 00:03:35,693 --> 00:03:37,347 CARLA FERN GOT ME A GIG. 89 00:03:37,391 --> 00:03:39,088 - HEY. - YEAH. 90 00:03:39,131 --> 00:03:40,350 - WHO'S CARLA FERN? 91 00:03:40,394 --> 00:03:44,354 - WHO IS CARLA FERN? WELL, WOW. 92 00:03:44,398 --> 00:03:47,270 SHE'S MY AGENT AND MY DRILL SERGEANT. 93 00:03:47,314 --> 00:03:49,141 AND ONE OF MY BEST FRIENDS. 94 00:03:49,185 --> 00:03:51,579 OH, AND, OSCAR, I ALREADY FIGURED OUT 95 00:03:51,622 --> 00:03:53,276 IF I HAVE TO GET EMOTIONAL IN THE FILM, 96 00:03:53,320 --> 00:03:55,147 I'M JUST GONNA THINK ABOUT YOU GETTING DUMPED BY THE SENATOR. 97 00:03:55,191 --> 00:03:56,801 - WHY DON'T YOU JUST USE YOUR OWN LIFE? 98 00:03:56,845 --> 00:03:58,542 ERIN JUST DUMPED YOU. 99 00:03:58,586 --> 00:04:01,284 - A LITTLE RAW. NOT COOL, OSCAR. 100 00:04:01,328 --> 00:04:02,851 - BUT YOU JUST-- - NOT COOL. 101 00:04:02,894 --> 00:04:04,853 - OKAY. DAY TWO. 102 00:04:04,896 --> 00:04:07,464 DRAMA IN THE WAREHOUSE SKIES. 103 00:04:07,508 --> 00:04:10,424 THIS IS ROBERT FROM WEYERHAMMER PAPER 104 00:04:10,467 --> 00:04:13,296 WHO WILL BE JOINING US TO JUDGE THE FINAL ROUNDS. 105 00:04:13,340 --> 00:04:14,689 - WHO'S PUMPED FOR THE QUARTERFINALS, HUH? 106 00:04:14,732 --> 00:04:16,081 - I'M PUMPED. 107 00:04:16,125 --> 00:04:18,301 - CLARK'S A DEAD MAN. - ALL RIGHT. 108 00:04:18,345 --> 00:04:21,043 SOUNDS LIKE SOMEBODY WANTS TO WALK AWAY WITH THIS. 109 00:04:21,086 --> 00:04:22,479 - OH, MY GOSH. - WOW. 110 00:04:22,523 --> 00:04:25,917 - NELLIE, YOU DIDN'T TELL US WE COULD WIN MONEY. 111 00:04:25,961 --> 00:04:29,051 - OH, YES, I DID. I TOLD YOU ALL. 112 00:04:29,094 --> 00:04:34,099 IT WAS--'CAUSE THAT'S AN AWFUL LOT OF MONEY FOR ME TO FORGET. 113 00:04:34,143 --> 00:04:37,189 - NOT ONE OF US REMEMBERS YOU SAYING ANYTHING ABOUT $2,000. 114 00:04:37,233 --> 00:04:38,626 - I FORGOT. 115 00:04:38,669 --> 00:04:40,367 I COMPLETELY FORGOT. 116 00:04:40,410 --> 00:04:42,194 BUT AT LEAST NOW THAT LARGE PIECE OF CARDBOARD 117 00:04:42,238 --> 00:04:43,935 THAT MAN WAS CARRYING AROUND MAKES SENSE. 118 00:04:43,979 --> 00:04:46,286 - NELLIE, THIS IS A COMPETITION. 119 00:04:46,329 --> 00:04:47,417 PLEASE TAKE IT SERIOUSLY. 120 00:04:47,461 --> 00:04:49,680 - OH, PLEASE. 121 00:04:49,724 --> 00:04:52,204 - ME? OH, I'M FINE. 122 00:04:52,248 --> 00:04:55,382 I MEAN, SURE, TIMES ARE LEANER NOW THAT I'M SEPARATED 123 00:04:55,425 --> 00:04:58,385 FROM THE SENATOR, BUT MY NEW STUDIO APARTMENT 124 00:04:58,428 --> 00:05:02,737 IS JUST FINE FOR ME AND PHILLIP 125 00:05:02,780 --> 00:05:05,348 AND TINKIE AND CRINKLEPUSS 126 00:05:05,392 --> 00:05:08,046 AND BANDIT TWO AND PAWLICK BAGGINS 127 00:05:08,090 --> 00:05:11,615 AND LADY ARAGORN AND THEIR TEN KITTENS. 128 00:05:11,659 --> 00:05:13,008 - [baby screaming, crying] 129 00:05:13,051 --> 00:05:15,358 - OH, MY GOD. COME HERE, COME HERE. 130 00:05:15,402 --> 00:05:16,403 COME HERE, LET'S GO. 131 00:05:16,446 --> 00:05:17,795 I HAD A CHANCE WITH DWIGHT, 132 00:05:17,839 --> 00:05:18,796 BUT I DIDN'T TAKE IT. 133 00:05:18,840 --> 00:05:20,537 AND, IF I WENT BACK NOW, 134 00:05:20,581 --> 00:05:24,324 WHEN I'M BROKE AND HE JUST INHERITED A FARM, 135 00:05:24,367 --> 00:05:27,022 I'D BE ONE OF THOSE GOLD-DIGGING TRAMPS YOU READ ABOUT 136 00:05:27,065 --> 00:05:30,068 THAT TRY TO BAG A FARMER. 137 00:05:30,112 --> 00:05:32,157 - I OFFERED MYSELF TO ANGELA, AND SHE TURNED ME DOWN. 138 00:05:32,201 --> 00:05:35,378 IF SHE CHANGES HER MIND, THE NEXT MOVE IS HERS. 139 00:05:35,422 --> 00:05:37,685 I'M WITH ESTHER NOW. SHE'S YOUNGER THAN ANGELA, 140 00:05:37,728 --> 00:05:40,644 STURDIER, MORE COMFORTABLE WITH THE SCENT 141 00:05:40,688 --> 00:05:42,167 OF A MANURED FIELD. 142 00:05:42,211 --> 00:05:43,604 LET'S BE HONEST, 143 00:05:43,647 --> 00:05:45,562 WHEN IT CAME TO MANURED FIELDS, 144 00:05:45,606 --> 00:05:47,695 ANGELA WAS AT BEST INDIFFERENT. 145 00:05:50,611 --> 00:05:52,395 - OH, WIDE WINGS. INTERESTING. 146 00:05:52,439 --> 00:05:55,006 - HEY. WHY DON'T YOU BACK OFF? 147 00:05:56,443 --> 00:05:59,489 I MEAN, BEST OF LUCK TO YOU IN THE COMPETITION. 148 00:05:59,533 --> 00:06:00,925 GROWING UP IN AN ORPHANAGE, 149 00:06:00,969 --> 00:06:02,797 YOU HAVE TO FIGHT OTHER KIDS FOR EVERYTHING-- 150 00:06:02,840 --> 00:06:06,191 SNACKS, PILLOWS, PARENTS. 151 00:06:06,235 --> 00:06:09,151 I'M KIND OF WORRIED ABOUT PETE SEEING THAT SIDE OF ME. 152 00:06:09,194 --> 00:06:12,633 I ONCE RIPPED GREEDY SUSAN'S PIGTAIL RIGHT OFF HER HEAD 153 00:06:12,676 --> 00:06:14,852 JUST FOR A HANDFUL OF CRISPIX. 154 00:06:14,896 --> 00:06:17,594 - ARE YOU IN THAT PAPER DOCUMENTARY TOO? 155 00:06:17,638 --> 00:06:18,726 - YUP. 156 00:06:18,769 --> 00:06:20,771 - YOU NEED AN AGENT? - NO. 157 00:06:20,815 --> 00:06:23,861 I MEAN, YOU NEVER ACTED IN ANYTHING BEFORE. 158 00:06:23,905 --> 00:06:26,516 HE'S JUST MY ENTOURAGE. 159 00:06:26,560 --> 00:06:28,431 - I WAS IN THE WIZ IN HIGH SCHOOL. 160 00:06:28,475 --> 00:06:30,738 - THAT'S THE CLICKY-CLACKER. 161 00:06:30,781 --> 00:06:33,915 HE CLICKS THAT, AND THEN THE GUY SAYS, "ACTION." 162 00:06:33,958 --> 00:06:36,961 - HEY, I MADE 'EM GET YOU A CHAIR. 163 00:06:37,005 --> 00:06:39,790 ALL MY CLIENTS SIT. 164 00:06:39,834 --> 00:06:44,404 - CAN I TAKE YOUR PICTURE? 165 00:06:44,447 --> 00:06:46,144 - I GUESS IT'S STARTING. 166 00:06:46,188 --> 00:06:49,147 UM, YEAH. 167 00:06:49,191 --> 00:06:50,888 OF COURSE. YEAH, SURE. 168 00:06:50,932 --> 00:06:52,324 TELL YOU WHAT. 169 00:06:52,368 --> 00:06:53,804 I'LL PUT MY ARM AROUND YOU, AND THEN I CAN TAKE IT-- 170 00:06:53,848 --> 00:06:54,936 - WE JUST NEED A PICTURE OF THE TOP OF YOUR HEAD 171 00:06:54,979 --> 00:06:57,634 IN CASE WE BURN SOME OF YOUR HAIR OFF. 172 00:06:57,678 --> 00:06:59,419 - GOT IT. 173 00:07:04,075 --> 00:07:05,381 SORRY. 174 00:07:05,425 --> 00:07:07,296 - NO, IF YOU JUST KEEP IT DOWN UNTIL... 175 00:07:07,339 --> 00:07:09,385 - OKAY. 176 00:07:09,429 --> 00:07:12,127 - OKAY, NEXT UP WE HAVE TWO CREATURES 177 00:07:12,170 --> 00:07:13,563 GREAT AND SMALL-- 178 00:07:13,607 --> 00:07:15,522 KEVIN VERSUS ANGELA. 179 00:07:15,565 --> 00:07:20,178 - YES. [applause] 180 00:07:20,222 --> 00:07:23,965 - HEY, THAT IS A REALLY NICE PLANE. 181 00:07:24,008 --> 00:07:25,619 YOU MAKE THAT YOURSELF? 182 00:07:25,662 --> 00:07:27,882 - UH-HUH. - WELL, WHAT AM I THINKING? 183 00:07:27,925 --> 00:07:29,666 OF COURSE YOU MADE THAT YOURSELF, 184 00:07:29,710 --> 00:07:31,712 'CAUSE IT'S IN THE RULES 185 00:07:31,755 --> 00:07:34,932 THAT YOU HAVE TO FOLD YOUR OWN PLANE. 186 00:07:34,976 --> 00:07:37,413 - OF COURSE. 187 00:07:37,457 --> 00:07:40,547 - KEVIN, DID YOU MAKE THAT YOURSELF? 188 00:07:40,590 --> 00:07:43,027 - YES. IN A WAY. 189 00:07:43,071 --> 00:07:47,031 FROM ONE THAT I BOUGHT ON CRAIGSLIST. 190 00:07:47,075 --> 00:07:48,293 - OH, MAN. - I CALL FOR A REFOLD. 191 00:07:48,337 --> 00:07:50,208 - NO. 192 00:07:50,252 --> 00:07:52,080 - REALLY? - YOU CAN'T DO THAT. 193 00:07:52,123 --> 00:07:53,560 THANK YOU. 194 00:07:53,603 --> 00:07:54,996 - THIS IS FLATTER. 195 00:07:55,039 --> 00:07:55,997 - IT'S A PIECE OF PAPER. 196 00:07:56,040 --> 00:07:57,651 YOU FOLD IT INTO AN AIRPLANE. 197 00:07:59,435 --> 00:08:01,306 - OKAY, THAT'S ENOUGH. THIS IS THE END OF THE REAM NOW. 198 00:08:01,350 --> 00:08:03,178 YOU HAVE TO PICK ONE. - I CAN'T. 199 00:08:03,221 --> 00:08:05,615 I LOVE THEM ALL TOO MUCH. 200 00:08:05,659 --> 00:08:08,052 AND NONE OF THEM FLY. 201 00:08:08,096 --> 00:08:10,054 SO THAT MAKES IT HARDER. 202 00:08:10,098 --> 00:08:11,839 - YOU HAVE TO CHOOSE ONE NOW. 203 00:08:11,882 --> 00:08:15,495 - FINE. 204 00:08:18,541 --> 00:08:21,631 - ANGELA ADVANCES. - NICE. 205 00:08:21,675 --> 00:08:23,067 - WHOO! 206 00:08:23,111 --> 00:08:25,069 - WAS DWIGHT ROOTING FOR ME? 207 00:08:25,113 --> 00:08:28,899 HMM. I HADN'T NOTICED. 208 00:08:28,943 --> 00:08:30,031 - I'M NOT GIVING UP. 209 00:08:30,074 --> 00:08:32,207 I AM GONNA KEEP MAKING PLANES 210 00:08:32,250 --> 00:08:33,861 UNTIL ONE OF 'EM FLIES. 211 00:08:33,904 --> 00:08:37,778 LIKE WILBUR AND ORVILLE REDENBACHER. 212 00:08:39,780 --> 00:08:42,957 - AN EARL GREY TEA FOR THE LADY. 213 00:08:43,000 --> 00:08:45,263 - OH, THANK YOU. 214 00:08:45,307 --> 00:08:47,875 I ACKNOWLEDGE AND APPRECIATE THAT YOU WENT OUT OF YOUR WAY 215 00:08:47,918 --> 00:08:50,442 TO GET ME TEA. - THANK YOU. 216 00:08:50,486 --> 00:08:52,053 I LIKE BEING APPRECIATED. 217 00:08:52,096 --> 00:08:53,271 BUT, TO SPEAK MY TRUTH, 218 00:08:53,315 --> 00:08:54,925 IT WASN'T OUT OF THE WAY, 219 00:08:54,969 --> 00:08:57,188 'CAUSE I FELT LIKE A TEA ANYWAY, SO ONE TRIP. 220 00:08:59,364 --> 00:09:02,106 - WELL, TO SPEAK MY TRUTH, 221 00:09:02,150 --> 00:09:04,456 I SWITCHED TO COFFEE IN MARCH. 222 00:09:04,500 --> 00:09:07,155 THERE'S A NEW ESPRESSO MACHINE. 223 00:09:07,198 --> 00:09:10,941 BUT I STILL ACKNOWLEDGE AND APPRECIATE THE GESTURE. 224 00:09:13,640 --> 00:09:16,207 - WE ARE ROLLING, AND ACTION. 225 00:09:16,251 --> 00:09:18,079 - THIS VIDEO IS TO DEMONSTRATE 226 00:09:18,122 --> 00:09:20,777 THE HPRDC CHEMICAL HANDLING PROTOCOLS. 227 00:09:20,821 --> 00:09:22,387 THESE PROTOCOLS COULD SAVE YOU 228 00:09:22,431 --> 00:09:24,825 FROM SEVERE INJURY, EVEN DEATH. 229 00:09:24,868 --> 00:09:26,609 - OKAY, STOP. 230 00:09:26,653 --> 00:09:28,045 WHY ARE YOU SMILING? 231 00:09:28,089 --> 00:09:30,004 - I JUST MADE A CHARACTER CHOICE TO BE A SCIENTIST 232 00:09:30,047 --> 00:09:32,833 WHO REALLY LIKES WHAT HE DOES 233 00:09:32,876 --> 00:09:34,748 AND ENJOYS HIS JOB. 234 00:09:34,791 --> 00:09:37,359 - OKAY, WELL, MAYBE NO SMILING ON THIS ONE. 235 00:09:37,402 --> 00:09:38,752 - SO HOW DO YOU WANT-- HOW SHOULD I DO IT? 236 00:09:38,795 --> 00:09:40,362 - I DON'T KNOW. JUST LIKE YOU'RE REPORTING 237 00:09:40,405 --> 00:09:41,929 THE NEWS OR SOMETHING. OKAY? 238 00:09:41,972 --> 00:09:45,019 ACTION. - THIS VIDEO IS TO DEMONSTRATE 239 00:09:45,062 --> 00:09:49,153 THE HPRDC CHEMICAL HANDLING PROTOCOLS. 240 00:09:49,197 --> 00:09:51,112 IT'S TOM BROKAW, THE NEWSCASTER. COME ON. 241 00:09:51,155 --> 00:09:52,243 - WHO WAS THAT? - TOM BROKAW. 242 00:09:55,072 --> 00:10:00,991 - COME ON, CLARK! - COME ON, CLARK! 243 00:10:01,035 --> 00:10:03,733 - WHOA! - YEAH! 244 00:10:03,777 --> 00:10:06,344 OH, EAT IT, PIGGY. EAT IT. 245 00:10:06,388 --> 00:10:07,389 OINK OINK OINK OINK. 246 00:10:07,432 --> 00:10:08,477 - WE STILL GOT TO WORK TOGETHER, 247 00:10:08,520 --> 00:10:09,652 SO WE SHOULD KEEP IT CIVIL. 248 00:10:09,696 --> 00:10:10,740 - [snorting] 249 00:10:10,784 --> 00:10:12,046 I CAN'T HEAR WHAT YOU SAID. 250 00:10:12,089 --> 00:10:13,351 [snorting] 251 00:10:13,395 --> 00:10:14,962 YOU GET YOUR SLOP? [imitating pig squealing] 252 00:10:15,005 --> 00:10:16,790 - ALL RIGHT, YOU KNOW WHAT, THIS IS COMPLETELY UNNECESSARY. 253 00:10:16,833 --> 00:10:18,661 YOU ALREADY WON. JUST STOP. 254 00:10:18,705 --> 00:10:19,619 - ERIN. - WHAT? 255 00:10:19,662 --> 00:10:21,316 - RELAX. - NEXT UP WE HAVE DWIGHT 256 00:10:21,359 --> 00:10:23,361 AND PHYLLIS. - YOU CAN DO IT, BABY. 257 00:10:23,405 --> 00:10:25,320 - NO, YOU CAN'T, BABY. 258 00:10:25,363 --> 00:10:27,496 YOU'RE GONNA CHOKE. 259 00:10:31,456 --> 00:10:34,329 - WATCH AND LEARN. - WOW. 260 00:10:34,372 --> 00:10:38,202 - WHOA, DWIGHT DEFEATS PHYLLIS. 261 00:10:38,246 --> 00:10:39,508 DWIGHT, YOU ARE THROUGH TO THE SEMIFINALS. 262 00:10:39,551 --> 00:10:41,423 - YES. - ALL RIGHT. 263 00:10:41,466 --> 00:10:43,207 - OH, ESTHER, WHAT ARE YOU-- 264 00:10:43,251 --> 00:10:46,254 - HEY. 265 00:10:48,386 --> 00:10:49,649 - YOU'RE HERE EARLY. 266 00:10:49,692 --> 00:10:51,172 - YEAH, I PLUCKED THE CHICKENS EXTRA FAST, 267 00:10:51,215 --> 00:10:52,956 'CAUSE I KNEW I WAS SEEING YOU TONIGHT, SO... 268 00:10:53,000 --> 00:10:54,436 THERE MIGHT JUST BE A LITTLE BIT OF FEATHER 269 00:10:54,479 --> 00:10:56,046 IN YOUR NUGGETS OR JUST A LITTLE BIT OF MEAT 270 00:10:56,090 --> 00:10:57,265 INSIDE OF YOUR PILLOW. 271 00:10:57,308 --> 00:10:59,180 - I LIKE A LITTLE FEATHER IN MY NUGGETS. 272 00:10:59,223 --> 00:11:01,312 [laughter] 273 00:11:01,356 --> 00:11:02,487 - ALL RIGHT, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, 274 00:11:02,531 --> 00:11:04,838 WE ARE NOW DOWN TO THE FINAL FOUR-- 275 00:11:04,881 --> 00:11:06,666 DWIGHT, ERIN, 276 00:11:06,709 --> 00:11:11,192 ANGELA, AND, GOD ONLY KNOWS HOW, BUT TOBY. 277 00:11:11,235 --> 00:11:15,196 ONE OF YOU WILL WALK AWAY WITH $2,000. 278 00:11:15,239 --> 00:11:17,067 - YEAH! 279 00:11:17,111 --> 00:11:19,591 - OKAY, HERE YOU HAVE JUST KNOCKED OVER THE BEAKER. 280 00:11:19,635 --> 00:11:21,811 THE CHEMICALS SPLASHED IN YOUR EYE. 281 00:11:21,855 --> 00:11:23,508 - WHICH IS INSANELY PAINFUL. - YEAH. 282 00:11:23,552 --> 00:11:25,685 - AND I'VE ALREADY PICKED A FEW CHILDHOOD MEMORIES 283 00:11:25,728 --> 00:11:28,470 TO TAP INTO TO REALLY EXPRESS THAT PAIN. 284 00:11:28,513 --> 00:11:30,472 - THAT'S GREAT. SO WHAT YOU'RE GONNA DO THEN 285 00:11:30,515 --> 00:11:33,518 IS COME OVER HERE TO THE EYE WASHING STATION 286 00:11:33,562 --> 00:11:35,390 AND THEN JUST KIND OF FLUSH OUT YOUR EYES, YOU KNOW, 287 00:11:35,433 --> 00:11:39,437 GET THE CHEMICALS OUT, ALL RIGHT? 288 00:11:39,481 --> 00:11:41,875 - SO I JUST LEAN OVER THIS THING AND THEN YOU'LL ADD 289 00:11:41,918 --> 00:11:44,138 THE WATER SPECIAL EFFECT LATER? 290 00:11:44,181 --> 00:11:45,879 - WHAT WATER SPECIAL EFFECT? 291 00:11:45,922 --> 00:11:48,316 - YEAH, JUST HOLD YOUR LIDS OPEN WITH ONE HAND 292 00:11:48,359 --> 00:11:51,145 AND LET THE STREAM BATHE YOUR EYEBALLS. 293 00:11:51,188 --> 00:11:53,103 LIKE THAT. 294 00:11:53,147 --> 00:11:55,715 - I'M NOT COMFORTABLE DOING MY OWN STUNTS. 295 00:11:55,758 --> 00:11:58,282 I'LL GET NUDE IF YOU WANT ME TO. 296 00:11:58,326 --> 00:12:00,545 I'LL GO FULL LENA DUNHAM, BUT I-- 297 00:12:00,589 --> 00:12:02,460 - DUDE, WE DON'T NEED YOU TO GO NUDE, OKAY? 298 00:12:02,504 --> 00:12:03,548 - ABSOLUTELY NOT. 299 00:12:03,592 --> 00:12:04,680 - JUST DO THE EYEWASH THING, OKAY? 300 00:12:04,724 --> 00:12:09,119 THAT'S ALL WE'RE ASKING HERE. 301 00:12:09,163 --> 00:12:10,599 - DARRYL, WHAT DO I DO? 302 00:12:10,642 --> 00:12:12,601 - HOLD UP, I'M LOOKING AT MY SPIT IN THE MICROSCOPE. 303 00:12:12,644 --> 00:12:15,604 - THEY WANT ME TO USE REAL WATER IN THE EYEWASH SCENE. 304 00:12:15,647 --> 00:12:16,779 - SO? 305 00:12:16,823 --> 00:12:19,303 - I CAN'T SQUIRT STUFF IN MY EYEBALL. 306 00:12:19,347 --> 00:12:20,783 I'VE NEVER EVEN USED AN EYEDROPPER. 307 00:12:20,827 --> 00:12:23,003 - SO, ANDY, YOU SAW HOW TO USE THIS? 308 00:12:23,046 --> 00:12:27,268 YOU STEP ON THE PEDAL. WATER SQUIRTS IN YOUR EYES. 309 00:12:27,311 --> 00:12:31,141 - CARLA! 310 00:12:31,185 --> 00:12:32,447 CARLA! 311 00:12:32,490 --> 00:12:34,754 - IT IS TIME FOR A LITTLE "T" AND "A." 312 00:12:34,797 --> 00:12:37,495 I GIVE YOU TOBY AND ANGELA. 313 00:12:40,498 --> 00:12:43,197 - OH, MY GOD! 314 00:12:44,372 --> 00:12:48,550 OH, MY GOD. OKAY, IT'S YOUR TURN. 315 00:12:55,078 --> 00:12:56,558 - WELL, ANGELA IS THE WINNER. 316 00:12:56,601 --> 00:12:59,300 - YES. 317 00:13:00,780 --> 00:13:03,260 - IS THERE A REASON THAT WE'RE EXCITED FOR THAT LITTLE WOMAN? 318 00:13:03,304 --> 00:13:04,784 - YES, I PITY HER. 319 00:13:04,827 --> 00:13:06,307 SHE WAS RECENTLY IN A SITUATION 320 00:13:06,350 --> 00:13:09,179 WHERE SHE COULD HAVE HAD IT ALL, 321 00:13:09,223 --> 00:13:11,094 AND INSTEAD SHE LOST EVERYTHING. 322 00:13:11,138 --> 00:13:13,357 - IS SHE A GAMBLER? 323 00:13:13,401 --> 00:13:16,317 - IN A WAY, BUT NOT IN A STAND-UP-AND-CHEER KIND OF WAY 324 00:13:16,360 --> 00:13:18,536 LIKE THE SONG. - MM. 325 00:13:18,580 --> 00:13:20,800 THAT IS SAD. 326 00:13:20,843 --> 00:13:24,760 - ANDY, IF YOU DON'T STICK YOUR EYES IN THAT MACHINE, 327 00:13:24,804 --> 00:13:28,720 I'M GONNA CALL EVERY PRODUCTION IN NORTHEASTERN PENNSYLVANIA. 328 00:13:28,764 --> 00:13:30,722 YOU WON'T EVEN MAKE AN APPEARANCE 329 00:13:30,766 --> 00:13:34,552 ON A SECURITY CAMERA. 330 00:13:37,729 --> 00:13:40,297 - WHAT'S THE HOLDUP HERE? 331 00:13:40,341 --> 00:13:42,430 - THE ACTOR'S CRYING. 332 00:13:42,473 --> 00:13:44,127 - OH, GOD. 333 00:13:46,738 --> 00:13:50,699 - SHE YELLED AT ME. 334 00:13:50,742 --> 00:13:53,876 I CAN'T WASH MY EYEBALL. I CAN'T DO THAT. 335 00:13:53,920 --> 00:13:55,182 I CAN'T. 336 00:13:55,225 --> 00:13:57,140 - ANDY BERNARD CAN'T SQUIRT WATER IN HIS EYE 337 00:13:57,184 --> 00:13:59,882 AND ACT LIKE IT DOESN'T FREAK HIM OUT. 338 00:13:59,926 --> 00:14:02,885 BUT YOU KNOW WHO CAN? 339 00:14:02,929 --> 00:14:06,497 OLDER MALE LAB ASSISTANT NUMBER ONE. 340 00:14:06,541 --> 00:14:08,630 - YOU BELIEVE IN ME? 341 00:14:08,673 --> 00:14:12,677 - I BELIEVE... I WANT TO GO HOME. 342 00:14:15,550 --> 00:14:20,555 - YEAH! OKAY. BEAT THAT. 343 00:14:25,777 --> 00:14:28,258 [chuckles] WHOO! 344 00:14:28,302 --> 00:14:30,521 OKAY. - DAMN IT! 345 00:14:30,565 --> 00:14:31,914 DAMN IT! 346 00:14:31,958 --> 00:14:35,091 GOD--SORRY. YEAH, I'M FINE. I'M FINE. 347 00:14:35,135 --> 00:14:36,440 - OKAY. - I GOT MAD. 348 00:14:36,484 --> 00:14:38,051 - YEAH. - 'CAUSE I DON'T LIKE LOSING, 349 00:14:38,094 --> 00:14:39,400 PETE. I JUST GOTTA-- 350 00:14:39,443 --> 00:14:40,749 SORRY, I'M MAD, PETE. I'M MAD. 351 00:14:40,792 --> 00:14:42,229 I'M REALLY MAD. I WANTED TO WIN. 352 00:14:42,272 --> 00:14:43,230 WE WERE GONNA WIN A LOT OF MONEY. 353 00:14:43,273 --> 00:14:44,579 I WAS GONNA BUY YOU A SWEATER. 354 00:14:44,622 --> 00:14:45,754 SO THIS IS STUPID. 355 00:14:45,797 --> 00:14:46,537 IT'S JUST THE WHOLE CONTEST IS STUPID, 356 00:14:46,581 --> 00:14:48,844 SO IT FEELS-- - OH! 357 00:14:48,888 --> 00:14:50,585 - SORRY, I'M MAD. - OKAY. 358 00:14:50,628 --> 00:14:52,500 - I DON'T LIKE LOSING. I THOUGHT I WAS GOING TO WIN. 359 00:14:52,543 --> 00:14:54,328 - OKAY, HEY, HEY, HEY. 360 00:14:54,371 --> 00:14:56,547 - SORRY. SORRY. 361 00:14:56,591 --> 00:14:57,940 I'M GONNA GO UPSTAIRS AND JUST... 362 00:14:57,984 --> 00:15:00,421 - OH, I MADE US A DATE 363 00:15:00,464 --> 00:15:01,683 TO TAKE MY MOM OUT TO DINNER 364 00:15:01,726 --> 00:15:03,163 TO THANK HER FOR ALL THAT EXTRA BABYSITTING. 365 00:15:03,206 --> 00:15:05,165 - WELL, YOU KNOW HOW MUCH I APPRECIATE 366 00:15:05,208 --> 00:15:07,863 THE OPPORTUNITY TO HANG OUT WITH YOUR MOM MORE, 367 00:15:07,907 --> 00:15:09,517 SO LET ME JUST PUT THIS IN MY CALENDAR. 368 00:15:09,560 --> 00:15:11,519 - I ACKNOWLEDGE WITH GRATITUDE 369 00:15:11,562 --> 00:15:13,347 THAT YOU ARE BEING KIND AND RESPONSIBLE ENOUGH 370 00:15:13,390 --> 00:15:15,262 TO INCLUDE IT IN YOUR CALENDAR. 371 00:15:15,305 --> 00:15:17,481 - THANK YOU. YOUR MOM IS A TREASURE. 372 00:15:17,525 --> 00:15:19,483 - WELL, I APPRECIATE... [cell phone chimes] 373 00:15:19,527 --> 00:15:20,702 THAT SOME OPPORTUNITIES CAN BE UNPLEASANT-- 374 00:15:20,745 --> 00:15:22,008 - SORRY, IT'S WORK. HOLD ON ONE SECOND. 375 00:15:22,051 --> 00:15:23,618 HEY, WADE, DID COLE HAMELS CALL BACK OR WHAT? 376 00:15:23,661 --> 00:15:25,663 GREAT. GOOD. 377 00:15:25,707 --> 00:15:27,752 - TO SPEAK MY TRUTH, I'D APPRECIATE IT 378 00:15:27,796 --> 00:15:29,145 IF YOU HUNG THAT UP, 'CAUSE WE WERE IN THE MIDDLE 379 00:15:29,189 --> 00:15:31,408 OF A CONVERSATION. 380 00:15:34,629 --> 00:15:36,761 I APPRECIATE THE SACRIFICE. 381 00:15:36,805 --> 00:15:39,460 - OKAY, TO SPEAK MY TRUTH, 382 00:15:39,503 --> 00:15:41,766 THAT WAS A LITTLE SARCASTIC. 383 00:15:41,810 --> 00:15:42,985 I THINK THAT'S A LITTLE UNFAIR. 384 00:15:43,029 --> 00:15:44,204 - REALLY? 385 00:15:44,247 --> 00:15:45,770 I'VE BEEN PUTTING THE KIDS TO BED BY MYSELF 386 00:15:45,814 --> 00:15:47,468 EVERY NIGHT FOR MONTHS. 387 00:15:47,511 --> 00:15:49,513 AND YOU HAD TO MISS ONE PHONE CALL. 388 00:15:49,557 --> 00:15:51,602 IS THAT YOUR TRUTH, JIM? THAT'S REALLY YOUR TRUTH? 389 00:15:51,646 --> 00:15:54,997 - I GUESS I WILL SWALLOW MY TRUTH. 390 00:15:55,041 --> 00:15:56,694 - ARE YOU GUYS HIGH? 391 00:15:56,738 --> 00:15:59,306 BECAUSE, IF SO, 392 00:15:59,349 --> 00:16:01,134 TO SPEAK MY TRUTH, I WOULD APPRECIATE 393 00:16:01,177 --> 00:16:03,745 THE SACRIFICE OF INCLUDING ME 394 00:16:03,788 --> 00:16:06,095 IN SOME HITS OFF YOUR KIND BUDS. 395 00:16:06,139 --> 00:16:07,705 - WE'RE NOT HIGH. 396 00:16:07,749 --> 00:16:11,448 I WISH WE'D STARTED THIS EXERCISE SIX MONTHS AGO. 397 00:16:11,492 --> 00:16:15,539 MY HEART JUST FEELS SO...BLOCKED UP. 398 00:16:19,456 --> 00:16:22,807 - THE MARK 47 IS READY FOR LAUNCH. 399 00:16:27,987 --> 00:16:30,119 LESS PASTE. 400 00:16:34,210 --> 00:16:39,085 - HERE WE GO. ROLLING AND ACTION. 401 00:16:39,128 --> 00:16:41,304 - [screaming] 402 00:16:44,829 --> 00:16:47,832 - AND CUT. WE CAN FIX THE SOUND IN POST. 403 00:16:47,876 --> 00:16:49,617 - YEAH. - I CAN DO A BETTER ONE. 404 00:16:49,660 --> 00:16:51,053 - THAT'S FINE. WE'LL MOVE ON. 405 00:16:51,097 --> 00:16:53,838 - I SAID I CAN DO A BETTER ONE. 406 00:16:53,882 --> 00:16:56,885 - DARRYL. - ACTION. 407 00:17:01,368 --> 00:17:02,891 - [screaming] 408 00:17:09,289 --> 00:17:12,248 - KID CAN ACT. 409 00:17:13,554 --> 00:17:16,992 - YEAH. YEAH. 410 00:17:17,036 --> 00:17:19,734 - EACH CONTESTANT WILL THROW TWO AEROPLANES. 411 00:17:19,777 --> 00:17:21,344 - AFTER YOU. 412 00:17:21,388 --> 00:17:24,217 - THANK YOU. 413 00:17:24,260 --> 00:17:27,655 OH, GOD. 414 00:17:27,698 --> 00:17:30,397 - ANGELA'S FIRST THROW-- TERRIBLE. 415 00:17:30,440 --> 00:17:32,486 DWIGHT. 416 00:17:32,529 --> 00:17:35,663 - OH! OH, MAN! 417 00:17:35,706 --> 00:17:37,491 IT SLIPPED OUT OF MY HAND. WHAT A WHIFF. 418 00:17:37,534 --> 00:17:40,102 AH, HOW'D THAT HAPPEN? GOD. 419 00:17:40,146 --> 00:17:42,191 - WE WANT YOU TO WIN. 420 00:17:42,235 --> 00:17:43,801 DWIGHT TOLD ME ABOUT YOUR SITUATION. 421 00:17:43,845 --> 00:17:48,415 IT'S SUCH A PITY. USE THE MONEY WISELY. 422 00:17:54,421 --> 00:17:57,685 - ALL RIGHT. 423 00:17:57,728 --> 00:18:01,428 - DON'T YOU DARE TANK THIS. 424 00:18:14,441 --> 00:18:16,182 [plane lands] 425 00:18:16,225 --> 00:18:17,531 - AND WE HAVE A WINNER. 426 00:18:17,574 --> 00:18:19,141 AND IT'S DWIGHT. 427 00:18:19,185 --> 00:18:22,144 AND IT IS EVERYONE, BECAUSE THIS IS OVER. 428 00:18:23,406 --> 00:18:24,973 - 2 GRAND, HUH? 429 00:18:25,016 --> 00:18:28,019 I KNOW A GUY WHO CAN TURN THAT INTO $800. 430 00:18:28,063 --> 00:18:29,630 AND IT'S ME. 431 00:18:29,673 --> 00:18:31,806 - WELL, I GUESS YOU NEEDED THE MONEY 432 00:18:31,849 --> 00:18:34,287 MORE THAN ME, HUH? 433 00:18:34,330 --> 00:18:36,158 USE IT WISELY. 434 00:18:39,074 --> 00:18:40,815 I WAS DISAPPOINTED IN DWIGHT TODAY. 435 00:18:40,858 --> 00:18:43,165 HE SHOWED A WEAKNESS THAT WAS UNBECOMING. 436 00:18:43,209 --> 00:18:45,254 EVEN IF HE DID DO IT FOR ME. 437 00:18:45,298 --> 00:18:47,256 I DON'T NEED PITY, 438 00:18:47,300 --> 00:18:49,389 AND I DON'T NEED CHARITY. 439 00:18:49,432 --> 00:18:51,739 I HAVE MY DIGNITY, AND THAT'S ENOUGH. 440 00:18:51,782 --> 00:18:53,175 AND, AS LONG AS I HAVE THAT, 441 00:18:53,219 --> 00:18:58,659 I'LL BE OKAY. 442 00:19:06,493 --> 00:19:08,234 - I KNOW THIS WAS REALLY WEIRD, 443 00:19:08,277 --> 00:19:10,758 AND IT WAS REALLY HARD. 444 00:19:10,801 --> 00:19:14,196 BUT I THINK WE'RE MAKING PROGRESS. 445 00:19:14,240 --> 00:19:16,111 SO I'M REALLY SORRY THAT I HAVE TO GO, 446 00:19:16,155 --> 00:19:19,810 BUT LET'S KEEP AT THIS. 447 00:19:19,854 --> 00:19:22,509 OKAY? - OKAY. 448 00:19:29,255 --> 00:19:32,214 [typing] 449 00:20:03,593 --> 00:20:05,378 JIM! 450 00:20:12,080 --> 00:20:13,603 - THANKS. 451 00:20:13,647 --> 00:20:16,606 - ALL RIGHT, HAVE A GOOD TRIP. both: BYE. 452 00:20:18,521 --> 00:20:20,610 - HEY. 453 00:20:26,573 --> 00:20:28,575 I... 454 00:20:45,592 --> 00:20:47,550 - "LOVE SUFFERS LONG AND IS KIND. 455 00:20:47,594 --> 00:20:50,510 "IT IS NOT PROUD. 456 00:20:50,553 --> 00:20:52,947 "LOVE BEARS ALL THINGS, 457 00:20:52,990 --> 00:20:55,428 "BELIEVES ALL THINGS, 458 00:20:55,471 --> 00:21:00,041 "HOPES ALL THINGS, AND ENDURES ALL THINGS. 459 00:21:00,084 --> 00:21:02,522 "LOVE NEVER FAILS. 460 00:21:02,565 --> 00:21:04,350 "AND NOW THESE THREE REMAIN: 461 00:21:04,393 --> 00:21:09,093 "FAITH, HOPE, AND LOVE. 462 00:21:09,137 --> 00:21:13,402 BUT THE GREATEST OF THESE IS LOVE." 463 00:21:19,974 --> 00:21:22,368 both: I LOVE YOU.