1 00:00:01,697 --> 00:00:07,094 [elevator bell dings] 2 00:00:07,137 --> 00:00:09,139 [buzzer] 3 00:00:11,098 --> 00:00:16,190 - "THE TEA IN NEPAL IS VERY HOT." 4 00:00:16,233 --> 00:00:21,064 - "BUT THE COFFEE IN PERU IS MUCH HOTTER." 5 00:00:22,283 --> 00:00:23,762 [buzzer] 6 00:00:23,806 --> 00:00:26,635 - LAST WEEK, I FINALLY BECAME PERMANENT MANAGER 7 00:00:26,678 --> 00:00:28,463 OF DUNDER MIFFLIN SCRANTON! 8 00:00:28,506 --> 00:00:30,813 MY FIRST PROJECT: INCREASE SECURITY. 9 00:00:30,856 --> 00:00:32,902 I GOT THESE DOORS FROM A JEWELRY STORE 10 00:00:32,945 --> 00:00:34,295 THAT HAD RECENTLY GONE OUT OF BUSINESS. 11 00:00:34,338 --> 00:00:35,513 NOW THEY'RE PROTECTING 12 00:00:35,557 --> 00:00:37,646 AMERICA'S REALTREASURE-- PAPER. 13 00:00:37,689 --> 00:00:40,692 EVERY MORNING, I EMAIL THE DAY'S SECURITY CODES. 14 00:00:40,736 --> 00:00:42,781 SOMETHING THAT'S BEEN REALLY MISSING FROM MY LIFE 15 00:00:42,825 --> 00:00:44,566 HAS BEEN WRITING SECRET CODES. 16 00:00:44,609 --> 00:00:47,873 IT'S NOT THE KGB, BUT IT'S A START. 17 00:00:49,527 --> 00:00:50,572 [buzzer] 18 00:00:50,615 --> 00:00:53,096 - "THE TEA IN NEPAL IS VERY HOT." 19 00:00:53,140 --> 00:00:55,011 - "BUT THE COFFEE IN PERU IS FAR HOTTER." 20 00:00:55,055 --> 00:00:57,666 - CLOSE. 21 00:00:57,709 --> 00:00:58,971 - THIS IS TUESDAY, RIGHT? 22 00:00:59,015 --> 00:01:02,149 THE--THE COFFEE IN PARAGUAY IS FAR HOTTER? 23 00:01:02,192 --> 00:01:03,367 - COLDER. 24 00:01:03,411 --> 00:01:04,977 - "THE COFFEE IN PARAGUAY IS COLDER?" 25 00:01:05,021 --> 00:01:06,631 - NO, I MEANT YOU WERE GETTING COLDER. 26 00:01:06,675 --> 00:01:08,155 THE CORRECT RESPONSE IS, 27 00:01:08,198 --> 00:01:10,896 "THE COFFEE IN PERU IS MUCHHOTTER." 28 00:01:10,940 --> 00:01:12,420 - OH, MUCH.OKAY. 29 00:01:12,463 --> 00:01:13,421 - BUT THAT'S THREE WRONG, 30 00:01:13,464 --> 00:01:14,639 SO I GOTTA GIVE YOU THE STEAM. 31 00:01:14,683 --> 00:01:15,814 - NO. 32 00:01:15,858 --> 00:01:18,469 - UNLESS YOU WANT ME TO BREAK PROTOCOL. 33 00:01:22,386 --> 00:01:25,737 - NO, NO. GIVE ME THE STEAM. 34 00:01:25,781 --> 00:01:27,783 [hangs up phone receiver] 35 00:01:29,219 --> 00:01:31,047 [steam whooshes] 36 00:01:31,091 --> 00:01:33,484 IT'S JUST HARMLESS STEAM TO PANIC INTRUDERS. 37 00:01:33,528 --> 00:01:37,358 I'D LIKE TO GET HARMFUL STEAM, BUT THE PRICES ARE ABSURD. 38 00:01:37,401 --> 00:01:42,450 BREAK PROTOCOL! BREAK PROTOCOL! BREAK PROTOCOL! 39 00:01:42,493 --> 00:01:45,322 - OH, I'M SAVING A FORTUNE ON DRY-CLEANING. 40 00:01:45,366 --> 00:01:48,325 [cheerful music] 41 00:01:48,369 --> 00:01:55,202 ♪ 42 00:01:55,245 --> 00:01:56,203 - MAMA. 43 00:01:56,246 --> 00:01:58,422 - ANGELA, SOMEONE WANTS YOU. 44 00:01:58,466 --> 00:01:59,945 - OKAY. COMING. 45 00:01:59,989 --> 00:02:03,471 [baby crying] 46 00:02:03,514 --> 00:02:04,602 HI, BABY. 47 00:02:04,646 --> 00:02:06,343 - ANGELA'S DIVORCE FROM THE SENATOR 48 00:02:06,387 --> 00:02:08,476 HAS BEEN VERY DIFFICULT FOR HER. 49 00:02:08,519 --> 00:02:10,608 WHEN SHE GOT KICKED OUT OF HER APARTMENT, 50 00:02:10,652 --> 00:02:13,176 I INVITED HER TO MOVE IN WITH ME. 51 00:02:13,220 --> 00:02:16,919 IRONIC THAT NOW IT'S ANGELA WHO'S LIVING IN THE CLOSET. 52 00:02:16,962 --> 00:02:19,095 HEY-O. 53 00:02:22,359 --> 00:02:23,447 - GO GET 'EM, HONEY. 54 00:02:23,491 --> 00:02:25,319 - OH, DON'T WORRY. THEY'LL GET GOT. 55 00:02:25,362 --> 00:02:26,842 [laughs] 56 00:02:26,885 --> 00:02:28,322 MANAGER OF DUNDER MIFFLIN, CHECK. 57 00:02:28,365 --> 00:02:31,325 OWNER OF A 1,600-ACRE BEET FARM, CHECK. 58 00:02:31,368 --> 00:02:34,023 ENGAGED TO BE MARRIED TO AN ACTUAL MILKMAID. 59 00:02:34,066 --> 00:02:38,027 CHECK...ON THAT LATER TODAY. 60 00:02:38,070 --> 00:02:42,031 THIS IS MY GRANDMOTHER'S RING. 61 00:02:42,074 --> 00:02:44,512 IT WAS MADE FROM A BULLET I TOOK OUT OF HER LEFT BUTTOCK. 62 00:02:44,555 --> 00:02:46,949 SHE WAS A MOONSHINER SHOT BY ADOLPH COORS. 63 00:02:46,992 --> 00:02:50,300 THIS IS MY GRANDMOTHER'S BUTTOCK BULLET RING. 64 00:02:50,344 --> 00:02:51,823 [background chatter] 65 00:02:51,867 --> 00:02:53,216 - HI. GOOD MORNING. 66 00:02:53,260 --> 00:02:54,913 NAME IS ANDREW BERNARD. 67 00:02:54,957 --> 00:02:58,003 YOU MIGHT KNOW ME FROM A TV DOCUMENTARY 68 00:02:58,047 --> 00:02:59,831 THAT'S PREMIERING TONIGHT. 69 00:02:59,875 --> 00:03:01,964 ALSO KILLED IT IN LOCAL THEATER, 70 00:03:02,007 --> 00:03:05,446 AND I AM FRESH OFF OF A HOT INDUSTRIAL FLICK. 71 00:03:05,489 --> 00:03:07,361 - OKAY. THANKS. 72 00:03:07,404 --> 00:03:08,362 GO AHEAD AND GET IN THE BACK OF THE LINE. 73 00:03:08,405 --> 00:03:10,842 - YES! 74 00:03:10,886 --> 00:03:16,326 [overlapping chatter] 75 00:03:16,370 --> 00:03:18,720 WELL, I BURNED ALL MY BRIDGES AT DUNDER MIFFLIN, 76 00:03:18,763 --> 00:03:21,418 AND TIME TO BECOME THE NEXT AMERICAN IDOL 77 00:03:21,462 --> 00:03:24,943 BY WINNING AMERICA'S NEXT A CAPPELLA SENSATION 78 00:03:24,987 --> 00:03:27,207 ON CHANNEL TBD. 79 00:03:27,250 --> 00:03:28,469 IT'S A REALLY COOL SHOW. 80 00:03:28,512 --> 00:03:30,166 IT'S LIKE A TOTAL REINVENTION 81 00:03:30,210 --> 00:03:33,387 OF THE WHOLE AMERICAN IDOL/VOICE/SING-OFFPHENOMENON. 82 00:03:33,430 --> 00:03:36,694 ON THIS SHOW, ALL THREE JUDGES ARE MEAN. 83 00:03:36,738 --> 00:03:38,348 [overlapping chatter] 84 00:03:38,392 --> 00:03:40,524 - SALES FORM FOR YOU TO SIGN. 85 00:03:40,568 --> 00:03:42,874 - YOU KNOW WHAT TO DO. 86 00:03:54,234 --> 00:03:56,061 OKAY. 87 00:03:56,105 --> 00:03:57,324 BEHIND EVERY GREAT REGIONAL MANAGER 88 00:03:57,367 --> 00:03:58,934 IS A GREAT ASSISTANT TO THE REGIONAL MANAGER, 89 00:03:58,977 --> 00:04:00,370 AND I HAVE CHOSEN ONE OF THE BEST. 90 00:04:00,414 --> 00:04:01,937 - AW, THANKS, MAN. 91 00:04:01,980 --> 00:04:03,330 - ONCE UPON A TIME, WE WERE NATURAL ENEMIES, 92 00:04:03,373 --> 00:04:05,245 BUT WE'VE OVERCOME OUR DIFFERENCES, 93 00:04:05,288 --> 00:04:07,029 MUCH LIKE GERMANY AND ITALY IN WORLD WAR-- 94 00:04:07,072 --> 00:04:08,770 - NO. 95 00:04:08,813 --> 00:04:09,945 - GOOD CALL. 96 00:04:09,988 --> 00:04:12,643 TOGETHER, WE RUN A NO-NONSENSE OFFICE. 97 00:04:22,914 --> 00:04:25,352 - PRE-CONFERENCE ROOM MEETING WITH DWIGHT WENT REALLY WELL. 98 00:04:25,395 --> 00:04:27,397 - OH. BODES WELL FOR THE POST-CONFERENCE ROOM MEETING. 99 00:04:27,441 --> 00:04:28,485 - ALL DEPENDS ON THE CONFERENCE ROOM MEETING ITSELF. 100 00:04:28,529 --> 00:04:31,314 [musical ringtone] 101 00:04:31,358 --> 00:04:33,447 UH, OKAY. 102 00:04:33,490 --> 00:04:34,535 - IS THAT THEM AGAIN? 103 00:04:34,578 --> 00:04:35,753 - YEAH. 104 00:04:35,797 --> 00:04:37,320 - MAYBE YOU SHOULD CALL BACK. 105 00:04:37,364 --> 00:04:40,323 - I WILL. 106 00:04:40,367 --> 00:04:43,021 I WILL. 107 00:04:43,065 --> 00:04:44,762 THE GUYS AT ATHLEAD ARE STILL BUGGING ME 108 00:04:44,806 --> 00:04:47,112 ABOUT THIS THREE-MONTH ROAD SHOW THING. 109 00:04:47,156 --> 00:04:48,636 MEETING ATHLETES ON THEIR HOME TURF, 110 00:04:48,679 --> 00:04:50,290 BUILDING RELATIONSHIPS. 111 00:04:50,333 --> 00:04:51,595 YEAH, IT SOUNDS EXCITING. 112 00:04:51,639 --> 00:04:54,946 BUT I SAID NO, AND THAT'S FINAL. 113 00:04:54,990 --> 00:04:57,166 I ALMOST LOST PAM OVER THIS BUSINESS. 114 00:04:57,209 --> 00:05:00,038 I'M NOT RISKING THAT AGAIN. 115 00:05:00,082 --> 00:05:02,084 - WHEN JIM DECIDED TO COME BACK TO SCRANTON FULL-TIME, 116 00:05:02,127 --> 00:05:06,654 I WAS RELIEVED, BUT I ALSO FEEL A LITTLE GUILTY. 117 00:05:06,697 --> 00:05:10,266 I MEAN, HE'S GIVING UP THIS BIG THING FOR ME. 118 00:05:10,310 --> 00:05:12,312 BUT HE SEEMS HAPPY. 119 00:05:12,355 --> 00:05:15,053 I MEAN, HE'S CERTAINLY BEEN GOOFING AROUND A LOT. 120 00:05:15,097 --> 00:05:17,055 I LOVE GOOFY JIM. 121 00:05:17,099 --> 00:05:18,056 - WELCOME. 122 00:05:18,100 --> 00:05:19,101 - HE WELCOMES YOU. 123 00:05:19,144 --> 00:05:20,407 - PLEASE TAKE AN AGENDA ITEM. 124 00:05:20,450 --> 00:05:21,930 - YOUR AGENDA-TAKING PLEASES HIM. 125 00:05:21,973 --> 00:05:23,279 - HAVE A SEAT, PHYLLIS. 126 00:05:23,323 --> 00:05:24,367 THERE WE GO. 127 00:05:24,411 --> 00:05:26,369 AS YOU KNOW, I LIKE TO BEGIN EACH DAY 128 00:05:26,413 --> 00:05:27,718 WITH AN INSPIRATIONAL QUOTE. 129 00:05:27,762 --> 00:05:30,286 "SOME SAY THE ONLY FAILURE THERE IS 130 00:05:30,330 --> 00:05:32,593 IS THE FAILURE TO TRY." 131 00:05:32,636 --> 00:05:34,072 [imitates buzzer] "THAT IS WRONG. 132 00:05:34,116 --> 00:05:36,466 FAILURE OF ANY KIND IS FAILURE." 133 00:05:36,510 --> 00:05:37,467 JIM, OVER TO YOU. 134 00:05:37,511 --> 00:05:38,816 - LET'S NOT GET CRAZY 135 00:05:38,860 --> 00:05:41,297 AND RUIN OUR NO-NONSENSE STREAK, ALL RIGHT? 136 00:05:41,341 --> 00:05:43,560 SO FOR INSTANCE, IF YOU'RE EXPECTING A FAX TODAY, 137 00:05:43,604 --> 00:05:44,779 PLEASE DON'T YELL OUT, 138 00:05:44,822 --> 00:05:47,651 "MICHAEL J. FAX FROM FAX TO THE FUTURE!" 139 00:05:47,695 --> 00:05:50,393 OKAY? THAT'S NONSENSE. - QUESTION. 140 00:05:50,437 --> 00:05:52,134 - YES, BEAUTIFUL GIRL IN THE FRONT. 141 00:05:52,177 --> 00:05:54,832 - WE ARE EXPECTING A WATER DELIVERY TODAY AT 10:00 A.M. 142 00:05:54,876 --> 00:05:57,095 WHAT IF, AS THEY'RE DELIVERING THE WATER JUGS, 143 00:05:57,139 --> 00:05:59,271 SOMEONE SCREAMS OUT, "NICE JUGS!" 144 00:05:59,315 --> 00:06:02,144 - THAT'S OBVIOUSLY NONSENSE. NONSENSE. 145 00:06:02,187 --> 00:06:04,407 AND WHAT PERCENTAGE OF NONSENSE 146 00:06:04,451 --> 00:06:06,235 DO WE TOLERATE IN THIS OFFICE? 147 00:06:06,278 --> 00:06:08,019 - 0%. - NO NONSENSE. 148 00:06:08,063 --> 00:06:09,281 - NO. CAN'T HAVE NONSENSE. 149 00:06:09,325 --> 00:06:10,500 - WHAT IS GOING ON? 150 00:06:10,544 --> 00:06:12,284 - DAY CARE WON'T TAKE PHILLIP ANYMORE. 151 00:06:12,328 --> 00:06:13,634 - WHY? - [sighs] 152 00:06:13,677 --> 00:06:15,200 APPARENTLY MY STATION IN LIFE 153 00:06:15,244 --> 00:06:18,421 HAS DESCENDED TO A DEPTH EVEN THEY WON'T FORGIVE. 154 00:06:18,465 --> 00:06:19,683 SO HI. 155 00:06:19,727 --> 00:06:21,337 - HI, BUDDY. 156 00:06:21,381 --> 00:06:22,425 - OKAY. 157 00:06:22,469 --> 00:06:24,471 UM, NEW AGENDA ITEM. 158 00:06:24,514 --> 00:06:26,647 PHILLIP WILL BE JOINING US AT THE OFFICE TODAY. 159 00:06:26,690 --> 00:06:28,083 - GOTTA WRITE THAT DOWN. 160 00:06:28,126 --> 00:06:30,259 OKAY, BIG DAY TODAY. 161 00:06:30,302 --> 00:06:33,393 AIRING OF THE DOCUMENTARY. WHO'S EXCITED? 162 00:06:33,436 --> 00:06:35,264 - I'D BETTER COME OUT OF THIS SMELLING LIKE A ROSE. 163 00:06:35,307 --> 00:06:37,788 I'VE BEEN ON MY BEST BEHAVIOR FOR NINE YEARS. 164 00:06:37,832 --> 00:06:39,268 IF IT WASN'T FOR THE CAMERAS, 165 00:06:39,311 --> 00:06:41,662 I WOULD'VE DONE SOME TRULY VULGAR CRAP. 166 00:06:41,705 --> 00:06:43,228 - OVER THE COURSE OF THIS DOCUMENTARY, 167 00:06:43,272 --> 00:06:44,752 I'VE HAD THREE AFFAIRS. 168 00:06:44,795 --> 00:06:46,710 IF YOU FIND MY BODY IN A DITCH, 169 00:06:46,754 --> 00:06:48,451 LET ME SAVE THE POLICE SOME TROUBLE. 170 00:06:48,495 --> 00:06:50,279 MY WIFE DID IT. 171 00:06:50,322 --> 00:06:52,368 - I'M LETTING YOU ALL OFF HALF AN HOUR EARLY 172 00:06:52,412 --> 00:06:54,805 TO VIEW THE DOCUMENTARY, SO YOU CAN MAKE IT UP TO ME 173 00:06:54,849 --> 00:06:56,894 BY WORKING AN EXTRA HALF AN HOUR TOMORROW 174 00:06:56,938 --> 00:06:58,983 OR A MINUTE EXTRA FOR THE REST OF THE MONTH. 175 00:06:59,027 --> 00:07:00,332 - OOH! ANNOUNCEMENT. 176 00:07:00,376 --> 00:07:02,334 SOME OF US WHOSE TELEVISIONS GOT BROKEN 177 00:07:02,378 --> 00:07:04,641 DURING AN ALL-YOU-CAN-EAT SHRIMP COMMERCIAL 178 00:07:04,685 --> 00:07:06,991 WILL BE WATCHING TONIGHT AT POOR RICHARD'S. 179 00:07:07,035 --> 00:07:11,169 BUT NOTE, ALL ARE WELCOME, NOT JUST THOSE 180 00:07:11,213 --> 00:07:13,433 WHO SAW AN ALL-YOU-CAN-EAT SHRIMP COMMERCIAL 181 00:07:13,476 --> 00:07:15,826 AND CHARGED THEIR TELEVISIONS. 182 00:07:15,870 --> 00:07:18,481 - I CAN'T BELIEVE THE DOC IS FINALLY GOING TO AIR. 183 00:07:18,525 --> 00:07:20,396 WHEN THIS THING STARTED, 184 00:07:20,440 --> 00:07:22,703 I WAS STILL HAVING SEX WITH WOMEN. 185 00:07:22,746 --> 00:07:25,096 AS WAS KEVIN, I BELIEVE. 186 00:07:25,140 --> 00:07:27,359 - THIS AIRS TONIGHT? 187 00:07:27,403 --> 00:07:28,796 OH, MY GOD. 188 00:07:28,839 --> 00:07:31,929 IF MY PARENTS SEE THIS, I AM TOAST. 189 00:07:35,933 --> 00:07:37,152 [overlapping chatter] 190 00:07:37,195 --> 00:07:38,240 - THIS IS REALLY HUGE. 191 00:07:38,283 --> 00:07:39,459 THIS IS LIKE THE MARCH ON WASHINGTON, 192 00:07:39,502 --> 00:07:40,503 BUT FOR A SINGING SHOW. 193 00:07:40,547 --> 00:07:41,896 - WHOO-HOO! 194 00:07:41,939 --> 00:07:43,463 - CAN YOU IMAGINE IF MARTIN LUTHER KING WERE HERE 195 00:07:43,506 --> 00:07:45,639 AND SANG I DREAMED A DREAM FROM LES MIS? 196 00:07:45,682 --> 00:07:48,032 WITH THAT BARITONE, THATWOULD BE HISTORIC. 197 00:07:48,076 --> 00:07:50,600 - WHOO-HOO! CASEY DEAN! CINCINNATI, OHIO! 198 00:07:50,644 --> 00:07:52,341 - WHOA. - ♪ DOCTOR, DOCTOR 199 00:07:52,384 --> 00:07:53,516 ♪ GIMME THE NEWS 200 00:07:53,560 --> 00:07:55,866 ♪ I GOT A GREAT CASEY DEAN FOR YOU ♪ 201 00:07:55,910 --> 00:07:57,868 - NO. - AMERICA WANTS IT! 202 00:07:57,912 --> 00:07:59,870 - NO, THIS IS MY TIME. YOU DON'T BELT ON MY TIME. 203 00:07:59,914 --> 00:08:03,308 I BELT ON MY TIME. - ♪ CASEY DEAN 204 00:08:03,352 --> 00:08:10,533 - ♪ CASEY DEAN 205 00:08:10,577 --> 00:08:11,926 - MAN, THOSE ARE SOME NICE PIPES! 206 00:08:11,969 --> 00:08:14,319 - YEAH. - WHAT'S YOUR NAME? 207 00:08:14,363 --> 00:08:17,758 - ANDY. WHAT'S YOURS? 208 00:08:19,150 --> 00:08:20,238 - WHY DIDN'T YOU PACK THE APPLE SNACKS? 209 00:08:20,282 --> 00:08:22,502 - WHY DIDN'T YOU PACK THE APPLE SNACKS? 210 00:08:22,545 --> 00:08:23,546 - GUYS. 211 00:08:23,590 --> 00:08:24,939 - BECAUSE WHENEVER I PACK THE BAG, 212 00:08:24,982 --> 00:08:26,680 YOU SAY I DO IT WRONG. - GUYS. 213 00:08:26,723 --> 00:08:27,985 - WHY DON'T YOU PACK IT? - GUYS. 214 00:08:28,029 --> 00:08:29,073 - KEVIN, WHAT? - KEVIN, WHAT IS IT? 215 00:08:29,117 --> 00:08:30,205 - DO YOU WANT TO SEE A VIDEO 216 00:08:30,248 --> 00:08:33,338 OF A WEATHERMAN WHO SAYS "BOLD FRONT" 217 00:08:33,382 --> 00:08:34,818 INSTEAD OF "COLD FRONT"? 218 00:08:34,862 --> 00:08:36,124 IT'S INSANE. 219 00:08:36,167 --> 00:08:38,474 - NOT NOW, KEVIN. CAN'T YOU SEE WE'RE BUSY? 220 00:08:38,518 --> 00:08:40,520 PHILLIP NEEDS HIS APPLE SNACKS. 221 00:08:40,563 --> 00:08:41,738 - SERIOUSLY, KEVIN. 222 00:08:41,782 --> 00:08:43,131 I'M JUST GONNA HAVE TO GO TO THE STORE. 223 00:08:43,174 --> 00:08:44,393 - OKAY, YOU GO TO THE STORE. 224 00:08:44,436 --> 00:08:46,526 - PHILLIP, PHILLIP, PHILLIP. 225 00:08:46,569 --> 00:08:48,919 IT'S ALL ABOUT PHILLIP. 226 00:08:48,963 --> 00:08:51,835 I HATE PHILLIP. 227 00:08:53,445 --> 00:08:54,403 [door opens] 228 00:08:54,446 --> 00:08:55,796 - NOT NOW! PRIVATE TIME! 229 00:08:55,839 --> 00:08:56,971 - I LOVE STAR WARS AS MUCH AS THE NEXT GUY-- 230 00:08:57,014 --> 00:09:00,452 - HEY, HEY. SERIOUSLY? 231 00:09:02,542 --> 00:09:06,458 - MY GOD, I'M SO SORRY. 232 00:09:06,502 --> 00:09:07,677 WELL, THIS MIGHT MAKE UP FOR IT. 233 00:09:07,721 --> 00:09:10,245 I THINK I HAVE FOUND AN ENORMOUS SOURCE 234 00:09:10,288 --> 00:09:11,638 OF OVERLOOKED P.F.N. 235 00:09:11,681 --> 00:09:14,031 - WHICH IS, OF COURSE... 236 00:09:14,075 --> 00:09:15,250 - POTENTIAL FUTURE NONSENSE. 237 00:09:15,293 --> 00:09:17,208 - YES. GOOD ABBREVIATING, JIM. 238 00:09:17,252 --> 00:09:20,168 THAT SAVED SOME TIME. NOW, HURRY UP. SHUT THE DOOR. 239 00:09:20,211 --> 00:09:21,561 - [sighs] 240 00:09:21,604 --> 00:09:22,562 - BREAK IT DOWN FOR ME. 241 00:09:22,605 --> 00:09:23,693 - I'M GONNA NEED YOU 242 00:09:23,737 --> 00:09:25,608 TO LOOK AT YOUR HIERARCHY MOBILE. 243 00:09:25,652 --> 00:09:28,263 YOU'VE GOT A REGIONAL MANAGER. - THE POWER SOURCE. 244 00:09:28,306 --> 00:09:30,439 - OBVIOUSLY, THE ASSISTANT TO THE REGIONAL MANAGER. 245 00:09:30,482 --> 00:09:32,049 - A LOYAL BUT BUNGLING APOSTLE. 246 00:09:32,093 --> 00:09:34,008 - BUT WHAT ABOUT THE ASSISTANTASSISTANT 247 00:09:34,051 --> 00:09:36,184 TO THE REGIONAL MANAGER? 248 00:09:40,971 --> 00:09:43,365 - SOMEONE TO WHISPER IN THE EAR OF THE CONSIGLIERE. 249 00:09:43,408 --> 00:09:44,671 - EXACTLY. 250 00:09:44,714 --> 00:09:47,325 - I'D HAVE TO GET SOME MORE WIRE AND STRING, 251 00:09:47,369 --> 00:09:48,675 BUT IT'S DOABLE. 252 00:09:48,718 --> 00:09:50,894 DO YOU THINK ANY OF THEM OUT THERE ARE CAPABLE? 253 00:09:50,938 --> 00:09:52,330 - [scoffs] YEAH, RIGHT. 254 00:09:52,374 --> 00:09:54,376 I MEAN, UNLESS THEY'RE WILLING TO PASS SOME TESTS. 255 00:09:54,419 --> 00:09:56,508 - I LIKE THE SOUND OF THAT. 256 00:09:56,552 --> 00:09:57,858 WHAT DID YOU HAVE IN MIND? 257 00:09:57,901 --> 00:09:59,250 - WELL, I KNOW THIS SOUNDS CRAZY, 258 00:09:59,294 --> 00:10:00,774 BUT HOW WOULD KING ARTHUR CHOOSE THE NEXT KNIGHT 259 00:10:00,817 --> 00:10:03,298 OF HIS ROUND TABLE? 260 00:10:03,341 --> 00:10:05,909 - THAT DOESN'T SOUND CRAZY, JIM. 261 00:10:05,953 --> 00:10:09,957 THAT'S THE SANEST THING I'VE EVER HEARD. 262 00:10:10,000 --> 00:10:11,262 - WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO? 263 00:10:11,306 --> 00:10:13,395 - HMM? UM, UH, LOCKING IN MY STARTING NOTE. 264 00:10:13,438 --> 00:10:14,962 ♪ A 440 265 00:10:15,005 --> 00:10:16,224 - OH, SWEET. 266 00:10:16,267 --> 00:10:17,355 - A CAPPELLA IS ALL ABOUT PITCH, 267 00:10:17,399 --> 00:10:18,748 AND I AM NOTHING 268 00:10:18,792 --> 00:10:20,837 IF NOT A TOTAL PITCH BITCH. 269 00:10:20,881 --> 00:10:22,578 - [laughs] - WHAT'S UP, EVERYBODY? 270 00:10:22,622 --> 00:10:26,234 AND WELCOME TO AMERICA'S NEXT A CAPPELLA SENSATION! 271 00:10:26,277 --> 00:10:28,366 [cheers and applause] 272 00:10:28,410 --> 00:10:30,978 - OH, MY GOD! YOU'RE GORGEOUS! 273 00:10:31,021 --> 00:10:32,501 - THANK YOU. THANK YOU SO MUCH. 274 00:10:32,544 --> 00:10:33,545 AND THANK YOU FOR YOUR PATIENCE. 275 00:10:33,589 --> 00:10:34,808 AND WE HOPE TO SEE YOU GUYS 276 00:10:34,851 --> 00:10:36,636 WITHIN THE NEXT FIVE TO SEVEN HOURS. 277 00:10:36,679 --> 00:10:39,421 NOW, JUST TO GIVE YOU A COUPLE PARAMETERS OF THE SHOW, 278 00:10:39,464 --> 00:10:41,902 EACH OF YOU WILL SING A SONG FOR 30 SECONDS, 279 00:10:41,945 --> 00:10:43,947 AFTER WHICH OUR JUDGES WILL DECIDE 280 00:10:43,991 --> 00:10:46,776 IF THEY WANT YOU IN THEIR A CAPPELLA GROUP. 281 00:10:46,820 --> 00:10:49,344 NOW, EACH GROUP WILL START WITH 90 SINGERS, 282 00:10:49,387 --> 00:10:50,432 WHICH WILL COMPETE IN A SERIES 283 00:10:50,475 --> 00:10:52,521 OF SINGING AND PHYSICAL CHALLENGES. 284 00:10:52,564 --> 00:10:55,524 OH, AND LOOK OUT FOR THAT PESKY MOLE! 285 00:10:55,567 --> 00:10:56,568 [crowd murmuring] 286 00:10:56,612 --> 00:10:57,569 - THERE'S A MOLE? 287 00:10:57,613 --> 00:11:00,181 - OOPS. I'M NOT SUPPOSED TO-- 288 00:11:00,224 --> 00:11:01,486 NOT SUPPOSED TO SAY THAT. 289 00:11:01,530 --> 00:11:02,531 ALL RIGHT. NO MOLE. 290 00:11:02,574 --> 00:11:03,837 FORGET I SAID IT, ALL RIGHT? 291 00:11:03,880 --> 00:11:04,925 - WHAT MOLE? WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? 292 00:11:04,968 --> 00:11:06,317 I ALREADY FORGOT ABOUT IT. 293 00:11:06,361 --> 00:11:07,623 - GOOD MAN RIGHT THERE. 294 00:11:07,667 --> 00:11:08,755 I'LL SEE YOU GUYS INSIDE. 295 00:11:08,798 --> 00:11:10,234 GOOD LUCK, ALL RIGHT? 296 00:11:10,278 --> 00:11:11,540 - YEAH! 297 00:11:11,583 --> 00:11:13,977 POUR SOME SUGAR RAY ON ME! 298 00:11:15,196 --> 00:11:16,719 - WHAT ARE YOU SO EXCITED ABOUT? 299 00:11:16,763 --> 00:11:19,983 - NOTHING. - WHAT ARE YOU UP TO? 300 00:11:20,027 --> 00:11:21,550 [laughs] 301 00:11:22,769 --> 00:11:25,336 - MEMBERS OF THE OFFICE, HEAR YE. 302 00:11:25,380 --> 00:11:26,773 - THAT MEANS YE, PLOP. 303 00:11:26,816 --> 00:11:28,949 - "PLOP"? STILL? 304 00:11:28,992 --> 00:11:30,951 - WE OWE ANDY THAT MUCH. 305 00:11:30,994 --> 00:11:35,042 - ABSOLUTELY, WE DO. - AM I RIGHT, PEOPLE? 306 00:11:35,085 --> 00:11:36,217 - FINE. 307 00:11:36,260 --> 00:11:37,609 - TODAY, WE WILL BE TESTING CANDIDATES 308 00:11:37,653 --> 00:11:39,786 FOR THE POSITION OF ASSISTANT 309 00:11:39,829 --> 00:11:41,701 TO THE ASSISTANT TO THE REGIONAL MANAGER. 310 00:11:41,744 --> 00:11:43,659 - AW, HECK, YEAH. - NICE. 311 00:11:43,703 --> 00:11:45,008 - YOU'LL ALWAYS HAVE THE UPPER HAND 312 00:11:45,052 --> 00:11:48,055 WHEN YOU'VE GOT A GOOD "AARM." 313 00:11:48,098 --> 00:11:49,186 TRADEMARK PENDING. 314 00:11:49,230 --> 00:11:51,623 - THIS IS NOT AN EXCUSE TO BLOW OFF WORK 315 00:11:51,667 --> 00:11:53,190 DOING CARNIVAL-LIKE ACTIVITIES. 316 00:11:53,234 --> 00:11:55,758 SURE, EVERY PARTICIPANT WILL BE GETTING A CORN DOG, 317 00:11:55,802 --> 00:11:57,325 BUT THAT'S FOR FUELING ONLY. 318 00:11:57,368 --> 00:11:58,543 NO SAVORING. 319 00:11:58,587 --> 00:11:59,936 - WOW. WHAT AN HONOR. 320 00:11:59,980 --> 00:12:01,982 GOD, I ENVY THEM. - HE ENVIES YOU. 321 00:12:02,025 --> 00:12:03,461 - YOU DON'T NEED TO REPEAT RIGHT NOW... 322 00:12:03,505 --> 00:12:04,811 - ALL RIGHT. - WHAT I'M SAYING. 323 00:12:04,854 --> 00:12:06,987 - BY 2:00, DWIGHT WILL CHOOSE HIMSELF 324 00:12:07,030 --> 00:12:10,033 TO BE ASSISTANT TO HIS OWN ASSISTANT, ME. 325 00:12:17,606 --> 00:12:19,347 - WHAT'S UP? - WHAT'S GOING ON? 326 00:12:19,390 --> 00:12:20,522 HOW WAS THE DELIVERY? 327 00:12:20,565 --> 00:12:22,045 - DELIVERED ALL MY FURNITURE TO PHILLY. 328 00:12:22,089 --> 00:12:23,090 HEY, KEEP IT DOWN, THOUGH. 329 00:12:23,133 --> 00:12:25,527 NOBODY KNOWS I'M HERE. 330 00:12:25,570 --> 00:12:27,834 I HATE GOOD-BYES, SO LAST WEEK, 331 00:12:27,877 --> 00:12:29,705 WHEN I LEFT DUNDER MIFFLIN FOR GOOD, 332 00:12:29,749 --> 00:12:31,838 I PULLED THE OLD IRISH EXIT. 333 00:12:31,881 --> 00:12:33,404 JUST SLIPPED OUT WITHOUT MAKING A BIG DEAL. 334 00:12:33,448 --> 00:12:36,538 NO HARD FEELINGS. NO FEELINGS AT ALL. 335 00:12:36,581 --> 00:12:38,540 [sighs] 336 00:12:38,583 --> 00:12:41,935 - A GOOD ASSISTANT KNOWS WHAT THEIR SUPERIOR IS THINKING 337 00:12:41,978 --> 00:12:43,414 BEFORE THEY EVEN THINK IT. 338 00:12:43,458 --> 00:12:45,590 MEREDITH, WHAT NUMBER AM I THINKING OF RIGHT NOW? 339 00:12:45,634 --> 00:12:47,505 - UH, TWO. 340 00:12:47,549 --> 00:12:50,334 - 985,000,000,000,017. 341 00:12:50,378 --> 00:12:51,422 - [scoffs] NOT EVEN CLOSE, MEREDITH. 342 00:12:51,466 --> 00:12:53,163 COME ON! - OKAY. PAM. 343 00:12:53,207 --> 00:12:54,861 WHAT SONG IS RUNNING THROUGH MY HEAD RIGHT NOW? 344 00:12:54,904 --> 00:12:57,037 - THE THEME SONG FROM SAVED BY THE BELL. 345 00:12:57,080 --> 00:12:59,822 - OH, MY GOD! IT WAS THE THEME SONG TO BOY MEETS WORLD. 346 00:12:59,866 --> 00:13:01,128 - WAIT. NO, NO, NO, STOP. 347 00:13:01,171 --> 00:13:02,259 SPOUSES CAN READ EACH OTHER'S MINDS. 348 00:13:02,303 --> 00:13:03,652 YOU'RE TRYING TO GIVE YOUR WIFE THIS JOB. 349 00:13:03,695 --> 00:13:05,828 - THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT I WAS DOING. 350 00:13:05,872 --> 00:13:08,570 PLOP, WHAT ANIMAL AM I PICTURING? 351 00:13:08,613 --> 00:13:09,745 - A HORSE. 352 00:13:09,789 --> 00:13:11,312 - EW, THE EXACT OPPOSITE, ACTUALLY. 353 00:13:11,355 --> 00:13:12,879 - WHAT'S THE OPPOSITE OF A HORSE? 354 00:13:12,922 --> 00:13:13,923 - COME ON. - A SEA HORSE. 355 00:13:13,967 --> 00:13:15,838 - SEA HORSE. 356 00:13:15,882 --> 00:13:19,320 WHOA, HOW DID YOU KNOW THAT I WAS GONNA... 357 00:13:19,363 --> 00:13:22,323 both: SAY THAT? 358 00:13:22,366 --> 00:13:25,282 UNCANNY. 359 00:13:25,326 --> 00:13:26,893 - CHALLENGE NUMBER TWO, PROTOCOL. 360 00:13:26,936 --> 00:13:28,024 CLARK. - YEAH. 361 00:13:28,068 --> 00:13:29,852 - DO YOU WANT A CORN DOG? 362 00:13:29,896 --> 00:13:31,811 - I WOULD LOVE A CORN DOG. - WE'LL SEE. 363 00:13:31,854 --> 00:13:34,596 YOU ARE AN ASSISTANT WHO'S JUST GOTTEN A PHONE MESSAGE. 364 00:13:34,639 --> 00:13:37,860 I AM IN A MEETING WITH DWIGHT, ROBERT DUNDER, AND HIS NIECE. 365 00:13:37,904 --> 00:13:39,601 UH-OH, LOOK WHO CAME TO JOIN US. 366 00:13:39,644 --> 00:13:41,995 THE TURKISH AMBASSADOR TO ARMENIA, 367 00:13:42,038 --> 00:13:43,431 YURI SLOVAK, WHO BY THE WAY, 368 00:13:43,474 --> 00:13:44,824 IS EXTREMELY EMBARRASSED ABOUT THE SIZE OF HIS NOSE. 369 00:13:44,867 --> 00:13:47,522 GO AHEAD AND READ THAT PHONE MESSAGE. 370 00:13:47,565 --> 00:13:49,959 - "MR. HALPERT, YOUR WIFE CALLED TO FIND OUT 371 00:13:50,003 --> 00:13:51,874 HOW YOUR MEETING WITH YURI BIG NOSE WENT." 372 00:13:51,918 --> 00:13:52,919 - NO, NO, NO, NO! 373 00:13:52,962 --> 00:13:55,225 YOU DON'T READ IT ALOUD LIKE THAT! 374 00:13:55,269 --> 00:13:57,837 GOD! BESIDES, THE WHOLE THING IS A TRICK QUESTION. 375 00:13:57,880 --> 00:14:00,013 THERE'S NO TURKISH AMBASSADOR TO ARMENIA. 376 00:14:00,056 --> 00:14:04,713 THE TWO COUNTRIES DON'T HAVE DIPLOMATIC RELATIONS. 377 00:14:04,756 --> 00:14:07,237 - UNCANNY. 378 00:14:07,281 --> 00:14:09,892 - I JUST HOPE THAT IF MY BUDDIES WHO ARE STILL IN AFGHANISTAN 379 00:14:09,936 --> 00:14:12,982 SEE ME WIN, THEY'LL FEEL LIKE ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE. 380 00:14:13,026 --> 00:14:14,766 - GREAT. MORE SCREEN TIME FOR THE WAR VET. 381 00:14:14,810 --> 00:14:16,246 - [scoffs] 382 00:14:16,290 --> 00:14:17,639 - ALL YOU GOTTA DO IS RISK YOUR LIFE FOR THIS COUNTRY, 383 00:14:17,682 --> 00:14:19,075 AND EVERYONE GOES GAGA FOR YOU. 384 00:14:19,119 --> 00:14:20,468 - OH, OVER AT THE PORTA-POTTIES, 385 00:14:20,511 --> 00:14:22,078 THEY WERE INTERVIEWING A HOMELESS, SINGLE MOTHER 386 00:14:22,122 --> 00:14:23,079 WITH THREE KIDS. 387 00:14:23,123 --> 00:14:25,299 - WHAT? - YEAH. 388 00:14:26,909 --> 00:14:27,910 - HOLD MY PLACE IN LINE. 389 00:14:27,954 --> 00:14:30,043 - WHERE ARE YOU GOING? 390 00:14:30,086 --> 00:14:33,698 - THEY WANT FEEL-GOOD STORIES? 391 00:14:33,742 --> 00:14:37,006 WAIT TILL THEY GET A GOOD FEEL OF ME. 392 00:14:37,050 --> 00:14:38,747 - THANKS, MAN. - THANK YOU. 393 00:14:38,790 --> 00:14:40,053 - YEP. TAKE CARE. 394 00:14:40,096 --> 00:14:43,447 - DARRYL, HEY. - HEY. 395 00:14:43,491 --> 00:14:45,014 - COOL. ARE YOU COMING BACK TO SAY HI? 396 00:14:45,058 --> 00:14:47,190 - NO, NO. I'M NOT HERE, ACTUALLY. 397 00:14:47,234 --> 00:14:48,844 THESE DOUGHNUTS ARE PART OF MY ESCAPE 398 00:14:48,888 --> 00:14:50,890 FROM THE GUYS AT THE WAREHOUSE I DIDN'T SAY GOOD-BYE TO. 399 00:14:50,933 --> 00:14:54,458 - AHA! HOW'S ATHLEAD? - WE'RE LIVING LIKE ROCK STARS. 400 00:14:54,502 --> 00:14:56,939 I'M ABOUT TO EAT FREE STEAK WITH MY SPORTS HEROES 401 00:14:56,983 --> 00:14:58,636 IN 32 DIFFERENT CITIES. 402 00:14:58,680 --> 00:14:59,768 - WOW. 403 00:14:59,811 --> 00:15:00,769 - JIM REALLY DOESN'T WANT TO COME? 404 00:15:00,812 --> 00:15:01,944 - HE SAYS HE DOESN'T WANT TO. 405 00:15:01,988 --> 00:15:03,467 - AH, MAN. 406 00:15:03,511 --> 00:15:05,643 I HOPE HE DOESN'T REGRET IT. 407 00:15:05,687 --> 00:15:06,688 - WELL, HE SEEMS REALLY HAPPY 408 00:15:06,731 --> 00:15:08,342 BEING BACK HERE AT DUNDER MIFFLIN. 409 00:15:08,385 --> 00:15:11,693 - [laughs] JIM IS HAPPY HERE, SELLING PAPER AT DUNDER MIFFLIN? 410 00:15:11,736 --> 00:15:12,999 - THAT'S WHAT HE SAYS. 411 00:15:13,042 --> 00:15:14,696 - IF YOU SAY SO. 412 00:15:14,739 --> 00:15:16,132 HEY, GOOD SEEING YOU. 413 00:15:16,176 --> 00:15:17,960 REMEMBER, I WAS NEVER HERE. 414 00:15:18,004 --> 00:15:19,744 ALL RIGHT, THEN. 415 00:15:19,788 --> 00:15:20,876 [door opens] 416 00:15:20,920 --> 00:15:22,834 - AN ASSISTANT BRINGS THEIR BOSS COFFEE 417 00:15:22,878 --> 00:15:24,314 WITH SPEED AND DEXTERITY, 418 00:15:24,358 --> 00:15:26,403 BUT AN ASSISTANT TOTHE ASSISTANT 419 00:15:26,447 --> 00:15:27,970 HAS A THOUSAND TIMES MORE TO PROVE, AM I RIGHT? 420 00:15:28,014 --> 00:15:28,971 - A THOUSAND TIMES MORE. 421 00:15:29,015 --> 00:15:31,321 - I'LL TRY THIS ONE. - PHYLLIS. 422 00:15:31,365 --> 00:15:33,062 GRAB BOTH THESE COFFEES, DOUBLE FIST IT, 423 00:15:33,106 --> 00:15:34,063 AND HEAD THROUGH THIS OBSTACLE COURSE. 424 00:15:34,107 --> 00:15:36,022 - OKAY. OOH, IT'S HOT. 425 00:15:36,065 --> 00:15:38,285 - YEAH. IT'S REAL. 426 00:15:38,328 --> 00:15:40,417 IT'S THE ONLY WAY YOU'LL LEARN. OKAY. 427 00:15:40,461 --> 00:15:43,333 AND GO AHEAD. 428 00:15:44,595 --> 00:15:46,206 OH, GOD, NICE. 429 00:15:46,249 --> 00:15:47,859 SHE'S THROUGH THE GREEN, EVERYBODY. 430 00:15:47,903 --> 00:15:49,165 HERE COMES YELLOW. - NO, NO, NO, NO. 431 00:15:49,209 --> 00:15:50,253 - A REAL DOOZY. - OH, BOY. 432 00:15:50,297 --> 00:15:51,951 - PHYLLIS, SERIOUSLY? 433 00:15:51,994 --> 00:15:53,082 - LOOK AT THAT FORM. 434 00:15:53,126 --> 00:15:54,214 - OH, MY GOD, THAT'S JUST PATHETIC! 435 00:15:54,257 --> 00:15:55,867 THE BOSS NEEDS HIS COFFEE! - [gasps] 436 00:15:55,911 --> 00:15:57,957 - WOW. - [grunts] 437 00:15:58,000 --> 00:15:58,958 [gasps] 438 00:15:59,001 --> 00:16:02,570 [grunts] 439 00:16:02,613 --> 00:16:03,875 [gasps] HERE YOU ARE, SIR! 440 00:16:03,919 --> 00:16:04,964 HERE'S YOUR COFFEE! 441 00:16:05,007 --> 00:16:06,966 OW! MY SKIN! OW! OW! 442 00:16:07,009 --> 00:16:08,619 AAH! IT BURNS! AAH! 443 00:16:08,663 --> 00:16:10,621 AAH! AAH! [bell dings] 444 00:16:10,665 --> 00:16:12,493 - UNCANNY. 445 00:16:12,536 --> 00:16:15,844 [applause] 446 00:16:15,887 --> 00:16:17,889 - DARRYL? DARRYL! 447 00:16:17,933 --> 00:16:19,108 - WHOA. 448 00:16:19,152 --> 00:16:20,936 - OH, HEY! 449 00:16:20,980 --> 00:16:22,764 HEY, WHAT'S UP, Y'ALL? 450 00:16:22,807 --> 00:16:24,984 - YOU LEFT US WITHOUT SAYING GOOD-BYE! 451 00:16:25,027 --> 00:16:26,986 - OH. MY BAD. 452 00:16:27,029 --> 00:16:28,639 GOOD-BYE, EVERYBODY. 453 00:16:28,683 --> 00:16:30,380 - NO, THAT IS TOTALLY UNCOOL! - HEY, NO WAY! 454 00:16:30,424 --> 00:16:31,947 - ARE YOU KIDDING? 455 00:16:31,991 --> 00:16:33,601 YOU BROKE OUR HEARTS. 456 00:16:33,644 --> 00:16:34,645 GET UPSTAIRS. 457 00:16:34,689 --> 00:16:35,733 - I DON'T THINK I SHOULD-- 458 00:16:35,777 --> 00:16:36,952 - GET UPSTAIRS, MISTER! 459 00:16:36,996 --> 00:16:38,954 - YEAH! - RIGHT NOW! 460 00:16:38,998 --> 00:16:40,216 - GUESS I'M GOING UPSTAIRS. 461 00:16:40,260 --> 00:16:41,435 - YOU KNOW, DWIGHT, 462 00:16:41,478 --> 00:16:43,915 THIS WHOLE SEARCH FOR THE ASSISTANT THING, 463 00:16:43,959 --> 00:16:44,916 NONE OF THESE PEOPLE ARE GOOD ENOUGH. 464 00:16:44,960 --> 00:16:46,048 - I KNOW. 465 00:16:46,092 --> 00:16:47,310 - WHAT I'M ABOUT TO SAY 466 00:16:47,354 --> 00:16:50,487 MAKES NO LOGICAL SENSE, AND YET IT MIGHT BE 467 00:16:50,531 --> 00:16:51,793 THE MOST LOGICAL THING I'VE EVER SAID. 468 00:16:51,836 --> 00:16:53,751 - JIM, THIS IS GONNA COME AS NO SURPRISE, 469 00:16:53,795 --> 00:16:55,971 BUT I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT YOU WERE GONNA SAY. 470 00:16:56,015 --> 00:16:58,930 THE ONLY POSSIBLE ASSISTANT TO MY ASSISTANT... 471 00:16:58,974 --> 00:17:00,280 - IS... 472 00:17:00,323 --> 00:17:02,238 - ME. - [clicks tongue] 473 00:17:02,282 --> 00:17:06,721 THE NEW ASSISTANT TO THE ASSISTANT 474 00:17:06,764 --> 00:17:09,028 TO THE REGIONAL MANAGER IS... 475 00:17:09,071 --> 00:17:10,986 DWIGHT K. SCHRUTE. - YES! 476 00:17:11,030 --> 00:17:12,335 - YES. [halfhearted applause] 477 00:17:12,379 --> 00:17:13,597 - THANK YOU. 478 00:17:13,641 --> 00:17:16,339 - I THINK YOU MIGHT WANT TO KNEEL FOR THIS. 479 00:17:16,383 --> 00:17:18,124 AND YET, THE MANAGER FOR DUNDER MIFFLIN 480 00:17:18,167 --> 00:17:21,431 KNEELS FOR NO MAN. 481 00:17:22,998 --> 00:17:23,955 WAIT. 482 00:17:23,999 --> 00:17:25,174 THAT'S IT. - OKAY. 483 00:17:25,218 --> 00:17:26,915 - YOU LOOK REALLY, REALLY GOOD. 484 00:17:26,958 --> 00:17:31,224 [applause] 485 00:17:37,578 --> 00:17:38,970 - OKAY, FROM NOW ON, 486 00:17:39,014 --> 00:17:40,668 ANYONE WHO NEEDS TO SPEAK TO ME 487 00:17:40,711 --> 00:17:45,151 HAS GOT TO GO THROUGH ME FIRST, ALL RIGHT? 488 00:17:45,194 --> 00:17:46,630 [exhales] 489 00:17:49,981 --> 00:17:51,983 - HEY. - HEY. 490 00:17:52,027 --> 00:17:54,029 - YOU ALL RIGHT? 491 00:17:55,639 --> 00:17:58,207 WHAT'S GOING ON? 492 00:17:58,251 --> 00:17:59,208 - ARE YOU HAPPY? 493 00:17:59,252 --> 00:18:01,819 - YES, I'M HAPPY. 494 00:18:01,863 --> 00:18:03,778 - NO, I KNOW THAT YOU'RE, LIKE, HAPPY, 495 00:18:03,821 --> 00:18:05,040 AND, LIKE, YOU HAD FUN TODAY. 496 00:18:05,084 --> 00:18:06,433 - YEAH. - AND THAT WAS FUN. 497 00:18:06,476 --> 00:18:08,957 BUT WHAT ABOUT A YEAR FROM NOW? - WHAT? 498 00:18:09,000 --> 00:18:10,524 - WHAT ABOUT FIVE YEARS FROM NOW? 499 00:18:10,567 --> 00:18:11,873 - PAM. 500 00:18:11,916 --> 00:18:13,048 - BECAUSE I'M SO GLAD YOU'RE BACK, BABY, 501 00:18:13,092 --> 00:18:15,137 BUT I'M JUST--I WAS TALKING TO DARRYL, 502 00:18:15,181 --> 00:18:17,748 AND HE WAS TALKING ABOUT THE TRIP, 503 00:18:17,792 --> 00:18:20,360 AND I JUST FEEL LIKE YOU'RE GIVING UP SO MUCH. 504 00:18:20,403 --> 00:18:22,971 - THIS WAS MY DECISION, NOT YOURS. 505 00:18:23,014 --> 00:18:24,059 - OKAY. - YOU DIDN'T FORCE ME. 506 00:18:24,103 --> 00:18:25,147 - I KIND OF FORCED YOU TO DO IT. 507 00:18:25,191 --> 00:18:26,105 - YOU DID NOT FORCE ME TO DO THIS. 508 00:18:26,148 --> 00:18:27,236 - YES, I DID. 509 00:18:27,280 --> 00:18:28,498 - I DON'T KNOW HOW ELSE TO TELL YOU. 510 00:18:28,542 --> 00:18:29,673 - I'M AFRAID YOU'RE GONNA RESENT ME, 511 00:18:29,717 --> 00:18:30,674 AND I'M AFRAID THAT... - RESENT YOU? 512 00:18:30,718 --> 00:18:31,936 - THIS IS NOT ENOUGH FOR YOU, 513 00:18:31,980 --> 00:18:34,113 AND I'M AFRAID THAT I'M NOT ENOUGH FOR YOU. 514 00:18:34,156 --> 00:18:37,246 - IS THAT REALLY WHAT YOU THINK? 515 00:18:39,857 --> 00:18:41,642 NOT ENOUGH? 516 00:18:41,685 --> 00:18:43,513 I DON'T KNOW HOW ELSE TO EXPLAIN IT TO HER, 517 00:18:43,557 --> 00:18:45,994 SO...YOU KNOW WHAT? 518 00:18:46,037 --> 00:18:47,213 I KNOW IT'S AGAINST THE RULES, 519 00:18:47,256 --> 00:18:50,433 BUT I'M GONNA NEED A FAVOR FROM YOU GUYS. 520 00:18:50,477 --> 00:18:52,131 - OKAY. YOU GOT IT, MAN. 521 00:18:54,655 --> 00:18:56,178 - YES, UH-HUH. [rhythmic tapping] 522 00:18:56,222 --> 00:18:58,049 - KEVIN, KEVIN. 523 00:18:58,093 --> 00:19:00,051 - OH, YOU KNOW MY NAME. 524 00:19:00,095 --> 00:19:02,793 WELL, THAT IS SHOCKING. 525 00:19:02,837 --> 00:19:04,752 - KEVIN, COULD YOU NOT DO THAT? 526 00:19:04,795 --> 00:19:06,145 - WHAT? 527 00:19:06,188 --> 00:19:09,148 I'M MOVING THE INK DOWN IN MY PEN, FOR WORK. 528 00:19:09,191 --> 00:19:10,932 - HERE, USE MY PEN. 529 00:19:10,975 --> 00:19:12,063 - DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO! 530 00:19:12,107 --> 00:19:13,064 both: SHH! 531 00:19:13,108 --> 00:19:14,457 - I DON'T NEED THIS. 532 00:19:14,501 --> 00:19:17,156 AND YOU OBVIOUSLY DON'T NEED ME. 533 00:19:17,199 --> 00:19:18,461 - KEVIN, WHERE ARE YOU GOING? 534 00:19:18,505 --> 00:19:20,028 - AWAY. 535 00:19:20,071 --> 00:19:24,032 TELL PHILLIP THAT HIS STUPID LITTLE BABY WISH CAME TRUE. 536 00:19:26,991 --> 00:19:28,645 - HE JUST WON'T GO DOWN. 537 00:19:28,689 --> 00:19:31,082 IT'S AS IF HE'S EXCITED BY ALL THIS PAPER. 538 00:19:31,126 --> 00:19:33,128 - I KNOW, EARLIER TODAY HE TRIED TO EAT 539 00:19:33,172 --> 00:19:35,609 SOME OF THE 24-WEIGHT LETTER BOND. 540 00:19:35,652 --> 00:19:37,088 - SMART BABY. 541 00:19:37,132 --> 00:19:41,049 THAT'S THE MOST FLAVORFUL BOND. 542 00:19:48,012 --> 00:19:50,145 - I DIDN'T REALIZE WE WERE THIS CLOSE. 543 00:19:50,189 --> 00:19:53,235 - WE'RE ALL A LITTLE HORMONAL WITH THE DOC AIRING. 544 00:19:53,279 --> 00:19:54,454 - ARE YOU GONNA COME TO POOR RICHARD'S 545 00:19:54,497 --> 00:19:55,585 AND WATCH WITH US TONIGHT? 546 00:19:55,629 --> 00:19:58,240 - UH...YEAH. 547 00:19:58,284 --> 00:19:59,850 DEPENDING ON TRAFFIC. 548 00:19:59,894 --> 00:20:01,069 - HE AIN'T COMING. 549 00:20:01,112 --> 00:20:03,289 - OH, GOD! 550 00:20:03,332 --> 00:20:06,683 - THESE DUDES ARE DEFINITELY IN A WEIRD MOOD. 551 00:20:06,727 --> 00:20:09,817 PICKED THE WRONG DAY TO RETURN A TRUCK. 552 00:20:09,860 --> 00:20:11,775 - ALL DAY LONG, IT'S MOO THE COWS 553 00:20:11,819 --> 00:20:13,734 AND CLUCK THE HENS. 554 00:20:13,777 --> 00:20:15,083 - MM-HMM. - GET THE SHEEP BAA-ED. 555 00:20:15,126 --> 00:20:16,563 OINK THE PIGS. 556 00:20:16,606 --> 00:20:19,130 - OINK THE PIGS, THAT IS VERY IMPORTANT. 557 00:20:19,174 --> 00:20:21,394 - DWIGHT, I'M TELLING YOU ABOUT ALL THE THINGS 558 00:20:21,437 --> 00:20:23,918 THAT MA SAID AFTER THE HORSE KICKED HER IN THE HEAD. 559 00:20:23,961 --> 00:20:26,268 WHERE ARE YOU? 560 00:20:26,312 --> 00:20:27,965 DWIGHT? 561 00:20:28,009 --> 00:20:30,011 - THE WAY THAT BOY LOOKS AT THE GALACTICA 562 00:20:30,054 --> 00:20:32,927 IS PRECISELY THE WAY I LOOK AT THE GALACTICA. 563 00:20:32,970 --> 00:20:36,583 AND HE EATS THE SAME KIND OF PAPER I DO. 564 00:20:36,626 --> 00:20:38,324 HMM. 565 00:20:45,679 --> 00:20:48,682 OKAY, ESTHER. - BYE. 566 00:20:58,648 --> 00:21:00,084 - YOU THREW THE SUMMONING BAG AT ME, SIR? 567 00:21:00,128 --> 00:21:02,261 - I NEED YOU TO PERFORM A TEST. 568 00:21:02,304 --> 00:21:05,046 - PERFORM A TEST. - ON AN INNOCENT BABY. 569 00:21:05,089 --> 00:21:07,657 - OOH, I LIKE WHERE THIS IS GOING. 570 00:21:07,701 --> 00:21:09,137 UNFORTUNATELY, I HAVE A LOT ON MY PLATE TODAY, 571 00:21:09,180 --> 00:21:11,139 SO I'M GONNA HAVE TO HAND THIS OFF TO MY NUMBER TWO. 572 00:21:11,182 --> 00:21:12,488 BUT DON'T WORRY, 573 00:21:12,532 --> 00:21:14,360 HE'S THE BEST IN THE BIZ. 574 00:21:14,403 --> 00:21:15,926 - DAMN STRAIGHT. 575 00:21:15,970 --> 00:21:17,493 - UNLESS YOU THINK HE CAN'T HANDLE IT. 576 00:21:17,537 --> 00:21:20,366 - HEY, HE CAN HANDLE IT. - ALL RIGHT.