1 00:00:02,045 --> 00:00:04,004 - IN THE PAST YEAR, 2 00:00:04,047 --> 00:00:05,266 I HAVE CONSOLIDATED THE ENTIRE SCRANTON PAPER MARKET. 3 00:00:05,309 --> 00:00:07,137 WE REGAINED THE WHITE PAGES, 4 00:00:07,181 --> 00:00:09,487 THE SCHOOL DISTRICT, LACKAWANNA COUNTY. 5 00:00:09,531 --> 00:00:11,098 WE SUPPLY THEM ALL. 6 00:00:11,141 --> 00:00:13,013 I'M GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW AFTERNOON, 7 00:00:13,056 --> 00:00:15,102 AND IN THE MORNING, THERE'S A MINI REUNION-- 8 00:00:15,145 --> 00:00:17,017 A KIND OF "WHERE ARE THEY NOW" PANEL 9 00:00:17,060 --> 00:00:18,540 AT A LOCAL THEATER. 10 00:00:18,583 --> 00:00:20,368 IT'LL BE NICE TO SEE EVERYONE AGAIN. 11 00:00:20,411 --> 00:00:24,328 [laughs] I HAVEN'T SEEN KEVIN SINCE WE LET HIM GO. 12 00:00:24,372 --> 00:00:27,331 TODAY MARKS SEVERAL IMPORTANT MILESTONES. 13 00:00:27,375 --> 00:00:31,031 STANLEY, AS YOU KNOW, IS RETIRING. 14 00:00:31,074 --> 00:00:32,728 - [laughing] 15 00:00:32,771 --> 00:00:34,512 - SPEECH! - NO! 16 00:00:34,556 --> 00:00:38,299 AND OUR NEXT AND MOST THICKLY FROSTED CAKE 17 00:00:38,342 --> 00:00:41,084 IS...FOR...KEVIN. 18 00:00:41,128 --> 00:00:43,304 - YES! - [laughing] 19 00:00:43,347 --> 00:00:44,435 - WAIT, WHY? 20 00:00:44,479 --> 00:00:48,004 - GO AHEAD AND JUST READ THE FROSTING. 21 00:00:48,048 --> 00:00:49,527 - "GET OUT"? - MM-HMM. 22 00:00:49,571 --> 00:00:51,268 - WHAT DOES THAT MEAN? 23 00:00:51,312 --> 00:00:52,574 - IT'S A COLLOQUIAL WAY OF SAYING "YOU'RE FIRED," KEVIN, 24 00:00:52,617 --> 00:00:55,098 WHICH YOU ARE. - WHAT? 25 00:00:55,142 --> 00:00:56,665 DWIGHT, YOU CAN'T DO THAT. 26 00:00:56,708 --> 00:00:59,276 - THE CAKE HAS SPOKEN, PAM. SORRY! HEH. 27 00:00:59,320 --> 00:01:02,845 WELL, IF ANYONE HERE CAN MAKE A CASE FOR KEVIN STAYING... 28 00:01:02,888 --> 00:01:03,846 - DWIGHT... 29 00:01:03,889 --> 00:01:05,543 [overlapping objections] 30 00:01:05,587 --> 00:01:07,806 - BASED... ON HIS MERIT. 31 00:01:07,850 --> 00:01:10,548 - OOH. 32 00:01:10,592 --> 00:01:12,072 - WELL, TOBY'LL STOP IT. 33 00:01:12,115 --> 00:01:13,421 ANYTIME ANYONE'S EVER BEEN FIRED, 34 00:01:13,464 --> 00:01:15,901 TOBY'S BLOCKED IT, SO-- - YEAH, YEAH. 35 00:01:15,945 --> 00:01:17,294 I DON'T THINK-- - TOBY, WAIT, WAIT. 36 00:01:17,338 --> 00:01:19,340 HOLD THAT THOUGHT. 37 00:01:19,383 --> 00:01:22,299 HERE'S YOUR CAKE. 38 00:01:22,343 --> 00:01:24,910 BYE BYE, TOBY. 39 00:01:25,911 --> 00:01:28,175 [Kevin sniffling] 40 00:01:28,218 --> 00:01:33,484 - [crying] AT LEAST I GOT CHOCOLATE. 41 00:01:33,528 --> 00:01:36,487 [cheerful music] 42 00:01:36,531 --> 00:01:41,536 ♪ 43 00:01:43,407 --> 00:01:45,192 - OKAY, THE LIMO'S GONNA BE HERE AT 5:00. 44 00:01:45,235 --> 00:01:47,194 I NEED EVERYBODY TO BE READY 'CAUSE I WANT TO PACK IN A LOT. 45 00:01:47,237 --> 00:01:48,847 - PARTYTIME WHOREHOUSE. 46 00:01:48,891 --> 00:01:51,023 - UH, NO. NO WHOREHOUSE. THIS IS DWIGHT'S NIGHT, OKAY? 47 00:01:51,067 --> 00:01:52,634 - WELL, YOU'RE THE BESTISCH MENSCH 48 00:01:52,677 --> 00:01:56,028 - DWIGHT HAS MADE ME HIS BESTISCH MENSCH. 49 00:01:56,072 --> 00:01:58,422 WHICH IS SCHRUTE FOR BEST MAN. 50 00:01:58,466 --> 00:02:00,990 HE'S PUTTING HIMSELF ENTIRELY IN MY HANDS TONIGHT. 51 00:02:01,033 --> 00:02:02,470 AND I KNOW, FOR OVER 12 YEARS, 52 00:02:02,513 --> 00:02:04,776 I'VE DONE NOTHING BUT TRICK AND PRANK HIM. 53 00:02:04,820 --> 00:02:06,604 BUT TONIGHT... 54 00:02:06,648 --> 00:02:08,867 ONLY GOOD SURPRISES. 55 00:02:08,911 --> 00:02:10,391 "GUTEN PRANKEN." 56 00:02:10,434 --> 00:02:11,696 [chuckles] 57 00:02:11,740 --> 00:02:13,394 - OH, HEY, JIM, I FORGOT MENTION. 58 00:02:13,437 --> 00:02:15,526 OFTENTIMES, IN HOLLYWOOD PORTRAYALS OF BACHELOR PARTIES, 59 00:02:15,570 --> 00:02:17,006 THERE ARE ACCIDENTAL MURDERS. 60 00:02:17,049 --> 00:02:18,921 THAT WON'T BE NECESSARY TONIGHT. 61 00:02:18,964 --> 00:02:20,270 - GREAT, NOW WE GOT THREE HOURS TO FILL. 62 00:02:20,314 --> 00:02:21,576 - OKAY, HOLD ON. 63 00:02:21,619 --> 00:02:22,968 ARE YOU SURE MOSE ISN'T GOING TO SHOW UP? 64 00:02:23,012 --> 00:02:24,492 - EVER SINCE ANGELA MOVED IN 65 00:02:24,535 --> 00:02:26,581 AND MOSE HAD TO STOP SLEEPING AT THE FOOT OF MY BED, 66 00:02:26,624 --> 00:02:28,452 HE'S BEEN ACTING PRETTY WEIRD ABOUT THIS WHOLE WEDDING THING. 67 00:02:28,496 --> 00:02:32,587 - MOSE HAS BEEN WEIRD? THAT'S SO UNLIKE HIM. 68 00:02:33,631 --> 00:02:35,938 - OH, SOME FUDGE? - OH, THANKS. 69 00:02:35,981 --> 00:02:37,026 I LOVE YOUR FUDGE. 70 00:02:37,069 --> 00:02:39,333 - THANKS. - MM. 71 00:02:39,376 --> 00:02:41,248 I THINK I GAINED A COUPLE POUNDS SINCE I GOT HERE. 72 00:02:41,291 --> 00:02:44,642 - [laughing] OH, YOU CAN AFFORD IT. 73 00:02:44,686 --> 00:02:46,122 - I BROUGHT IN SOME NEW FACES, 74 00:02:46,166 --> 00:02:47,515 AND ONE OLD. 75 00:02:47,558 --> 00:02:49,386 I ALWAYS LIKED DEVON. 76 00:02:49,430 --> 00:02:51,562 I HIRED HIM BACK AFTER CREED FAKED HIS OWN DEATH 77 00:02:51,606 --> 00:02:53,477 IN THE BALER THE DAY AFTER THE DOC AIRED. 78 00:02:53,521 --> 00:02:55,523 THE ONLY PERSON HE FOOLED WAS KEVIN. 79 00:02:55,566 --> 00:02:56,785 THEN THE POLICE SHOWED UP. 80 00:02:56,828 --> 00:02:58,569 TURNS OUT, CREED WAS IN THE BAND 81 00:02:58,613 --> 00:03:01,224 THE GRASS ROOTS IN THE 1960s. 82 00:03:01,268 --> 00:03:03,052 DURING THAT TIME, THE POLICE SAY, 83 00:03:03,095 --> 00:03:07,578 HE SOLD DRUGS AND TRAFFICKED IN ENDANGERED SPECIES MEAT 84 00:03:07,622 --> 00:03:12,670 AND STOLE WEAPONS-GRADE LSD FROM THE MILITARY. 85 00:03:12,714 --> 00:03:17,197 [indistinct chatter] 86 00:03:17,240 --> 00:03:21,897 [car horns] 87 00:03:26,467 --> 00:03:28,425 - YEAH, SURE, I'LL TALK ABOUT IT. 88 00:03:28,469 --> 00:03:30,253 WHY NOT? 89 00:03:30,297 --> 00:03:31,776 AMERICA'S NEXT A CAPPELLA SENSATION 90 00:03:31,820 --> 00:03:33,648 AIRED MY AUDITION. 91 00:03:33,691 --> 00:03:35,563 AND WHEN I STARTED SOBBING UNCONTROLLABLY, 92 00:03:35,606 --> 00:03:40,132 APPARENTLY THAT STRUCK A CHORD WITH QUITE A LOT OF PEOPLE. 93 00:03:40,176 --> 00:03:42,874 NOT A VERY COMPASSIONATE CHORD. 94 00:03:42,918 --> 00:03:46,269 THE CLIP WENT VIRAL, AS THEY SAY. 95 00:03:46,313 --> 00:03:47,444 - YOU CAN'T JUST SIT HERE AND CRY. 96 00:03:47,488 --> 00:03:50,621 - OH, I CAN SO JUST SIT HERE AND CRY! 97 00:03:50,665 --> 00:03:52,319 - TWO MILLION HITS IN THE FIRST WEEK... 98 00:03:52,362 --> 00:03:54,582 AND THEN THE PARODIES STARTED. 99 00:03:54,625 --> 00:03:57,411 ONE FROM THE PHILIPPINES GOT 12 MILLION HITS. 100 00:03:57,454 --> 00:04:03,286 - [speaking native language] 101 00:04:03,330 --> 00:04:06,550 - AND THE LATE NIGHT COMEDY GUYS HAD A FIELD DAY WITH IT. 102 00:04:06,594 --> 00:04:09,814 - [fake crying] - OH, DON'T. 103 00:04:09,858 --> 00:04:14,602 AW, COME ON, BABY WAWA. DON'T BE SUCH A BABY. 104 00:04:14,645 --> 00:04:16,560 OH, NO. 105 00:04:17,953 --> 00:04:20,738 IT'S GONNA BE ALL RIGHT. 106 00:04:20,782 --> 00:04:23,393 IT'S GONNA BE ALL RIGHT. 107 00:04:23,437 --> 00:04:25,308 FOR WEEKEND UPDATE, I'M SETH MEYERS. 108 00:04:25,352 --> 00:04:26,831 THAT'S BABY WAWA. GOOD NIGHT. 109 00:04:26,875 --> 00:04:28,398 - BYE. 110 00:04:28,442 --> 00:04:31,053 - HEY-OH! - ANDY? 111 00:04:31,096 --> 00:04:33,621 - YOU'RE BACK? - YEAH. 112 00:04:33,664 --> 00:04:36,406 - THAT'S BABY WAWA, RIGHT? OH, MY GOD! 113 00:04:36,450 --> 00:04:37,886 - HEY, MAN, GOOD TO SEE YOU. 114 00:04:37,929 --> 00:04:39,061 - YEAH. - ANDY. 115 00:04:39,104 --> 00:04:41,019 - HEY! AW! 116 00:04:41,063 --> 00:04:43,239 A BEAR HUG FROM MY FAVORITE MAMA GRIZZLY. 117 00:04:43,283 --> 00:04:44,893 - ANDY, I'VE BEEN WORRIED ABOUT YOU. 118 00:04:44,936 --> 00:04:46,373 HOW ARE YOU? 119 00:04:46,416 --> 00:04:48,679 - A LITTLE WARM. - POOR, POOR ANDY. 120 00:04:48,723 --> 00:04:50,551 - OKAY. [struggling] 121 00:04:50,594 --> 00:04:51,856 AW. 122 00:04:51,900 --> 00:04:53,249 THANK YOU, PHYLLIS. - HELLO, HELLO. 123 00:04:53,293 --> 00:04:54,685 - HEY! - DAR-RYL! 124 00:04:54,729 --> 00:04:56,252 - DARRYL! - HEY! 125 00:04:56,296 --> 00:04:57,601 - HEY, WHAT'S UP? 126 00:04:57,645 --> 00:04:58,907 - DIDN'T I JUST SEE YOU AT THE AIRPORT 127 00:04:58,950 --> 00:05:00,648 JUMPING IN A LIMO? - WHAT? 128 00:05:00,691 --> 00:05:02,345 MUST'VE BEEN ANOTHER DEVILISHLY HANDSOME, 129 00:05:02,389 --> 00:05:03,564 DEBONAIR INDIVIDUAL. - HMM. 130 00:05:03,607 --> 00:05:05,566 - HEY, MAN, HOW YOU DOING? 131 00:05:05,609 --> 00:05:08,264 I, UM--I DIDN'T CALL 'CAUSE I FIGURED YOU CHANGED THE NUMBER. 132 00:05:08,308 --> 00:05:10,266 - NO, I DIDN'T CHANGE THE NUMBER. 133 00:05:10,310 --> 00:05:12,703 ALL GOOD, THOUGH. PHONE NEVER RINGS. 134 00:05:13,922 --> 00:05:15,663 - WHAT! OHH! 135 00:05:15,706 --> 00:05:16,881 - SURPRISE! 136 00:05:16,925 --> 00:05:18,187 I THOUGHT YOU GUYS COULDN'T COME. 137 00:05:18,230 --> 00:05:19,493 - YEAH, BUT THEN THEY MOVED THE PANEL 138 00:05:19,536 --> 00:05:20,668 TO THE SAME WEEKEND, 139 00:05:20,711 --> 00:05:22,365 AND THE DOC CREW PAID TO FLY US IN. 140 00:05:22,409 --> 00:05:23,671 IT WAS KISMET. 141 00:05:23,714 --> 00:05:26,151 - KISMET? YEAH, RIGHT. 142 00:05:26,195 --> 00:05:29,633 PAM AND I CAME UP WITH EXCUSES FOR EVERY OTHER WEEKEND. 143 00:05:29,677 --> 00:05:31,635 YOU REMEMBER MY TWO LAP BAND SURGERIES, RIGHT? 144 00:05:31,679 --> 00:05:33,158 NEITHER DO I. 145 00:05:33,202 --> 00:05:36,205 "GUTEN PRANK" NUMBER ONE. 146 00:05:36,248 --> 00:05:37,685 - [gasps] DARRYL! 147 00:05:37,728 --> 00:05:39,556 ANDY! - HEY, PAM! 148 00:05:39,600 --> 00:05:41,558 - HEY, PAM! HOW ARE YOU? 149 00:05:41,602 --> 00:05:44,735 - WE'RE FINE. YEAH. 150 00:05:44,779 --> 00:05:46,911 AND I'M SURE THAT YOU GUYS ARE FINE TOO. 151 00:05:46,955 --> 00:05:49,566 BECAUSE WHY WOULDN'T YOU BE? - MM-HMM. 152 00:05:49,610 --> 00:05:52,526 - DARRYL, OH, MY GOSH. HOW IS AUSTIN? 153 00:05:52,569 --> 00:05:53,831 TELL ME EVERYTHING. HOW'S THE MERGER? 154 00:05:53,875 --> 00:05:55,398 I FEEL LIKE I READ ABOUT ATHLEAD ALL THE TIME. 155 00:05:55,442 --> 00:05:57,966 - I LOVE IT. AND IT'S ATHLEAP NOW. 156 00:05:58,009 --> 00:06:00,969 AND THE CITY IS AMAZING. 157 00:06:01,012 --> 00:06:02,492 - YEAH? - YEAH. 158 00:06:02,536 --> 00:06:04,712 YEAH, IT'S HOT, THE MUSIC IS AWESOME. 159 00:06:04,755 --> 00:06:06,104 AND THE TACOS ARE... [cell phone chimes] 160 00:06:06,148 --> 00:06:07,410 FOR REAL. - WOW! 161 00:06:07,454 --> 00:06:09,325 THAT SOUNDS INCREDIBLE. 162 00:06:09,369 --> 00:06:11,371 - OH, GUYS. LIMO'S HERE. 163 00:06:11,414 --> 00:06:12,937 LET'S DO THIS. CHANGE IF YOU NEED TO. 164 00:06:12,981 --> 00:06:15,853 - WHOO, WHOO, WHOO! - OKAY, YOU GUYS, HAVE FUN. 165 00:06:15,897 --> 00:06:19,117 YOU TOO, ANDY. 166 00:06:25,167 --> 00:06:27,038 - WAIT, WHY ARE WE STOPPING? 167 00:06:27,082 --> 00:06:28,431 JIM, THIS ISN'T ON THE ITINERARY. 168 00:06:28,475 --> 00:06:29,824 - DWIGHT. - JIM, WHAT-- 169 00:06:29,867 --> 00:06:33,871 - GET OUT. - COME ON! WHAT-- 170 00:06:33,915 --> 00:06:35,699 WHAT, ARE YOU GONNA WHACK ME, JIM? 171 00:06:35,743 --> 00:06:37,353 - NO, DWIGHT. 172 00:06:37,397 --> 00:06:39,399 YOU'LL BE DOING THE WHACKING. 173 00:06:44,229 --> 00:06:46,710 - A BAZOOKA. 174 00:06:46,754 --> 00:06:48,973 YOU REMEMBERED. - OF COURSE I DID. 175 00:06:50,105 --> 00:06:51,541 all: OH! 176 00:06:51,585 --> 00:06:53,848 [all laugh and applaud] 177 00:06:53,891 --> 00:06:56,024 - WHOO! - YEAH! 178 00:06:56,067 --> 00:06:57,286 - OKAY! 179 00:06:57,329 --> 00:06:59,288 - "GUTEN PRANK" NUMBER TWO. 180 00:06:59,331 --> 00:07:01,986 [all cheering] 181 00:07:03,031 --> 00:07:04,467 PRIVATE ROOM. 182 00:07:04,511 --> 00:07:06,991 - YEAH, BROSEF. - AMAZING! 183 00:07:07,035 --> 00:07:08,384 - HOW ARE YOU, ANDY, REALLY? 184 00:07:08,428 --> 00:07:10,038 - THINGS ARE GOING WELL, ACTUALLY. 185 00:07:10,081 --> 00:07:14,303 I SPOKE AT CORNELL DURING COMMENCEMENT WEEK. 186 00:07:14,346 --> 00:07:15,870 WELL, I MEAN, THE SENIORS INVITED ME AS A JOKE, 187 00:07:15,913 --> 00:07:17,915 BUT IT WAS A HUGE SUCCESS. 188 00:07:17,959 --> 00:07:20,222 - WELL, I BET IT WAS A SMASH. 189 00:07:20,265 --> 00:07:21,876 THAT'S HOW I GOT MY NEW JOB IN THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE. 190 00:07:21,919 --> 00:07:24,269 - IS THAT A VOLUNTEER PROGRAM OR... 191 00:07:24,313 --> 00:07:27,664 - NO. IT'S A JOB. 192 00:07:27,708 --> 00:07:30,101 THINGS ARE GOING GREAT. 193 00:07:30,145 --> 00:07:33,017 - WHOO-HOO! LET'S GET THIS PARTY STARTED! 194 00:07:33,061 --> 00:07:34,410 - WHERE'S MY ANGEL? 195 00:07:34,454 --> 00:07:36,891 [both squeal and laugh] 196 00:07:36,934 --> 00:07:38,196 - THIS IS MY BIG SISTER RACHEL. 197 00:07:38,240 --> 00:07:40,851 - NO, THIS IS MY BIG SISTER ANGELA. 198 00:07:40,895 --> 00:07:43,637 - [laughs] WE'RE VERY CLOSE. 199 00:07:43,680 --> 00:07:45,160 WE EVEN HAVE OUR OWN SPECIAL LANGUAGE. 200 00:07:45,203 --> 00:07:48,380 [speaking in indistinct language] 201 00:07:48,424 --> 00:07:49,947 [both laughing] 202 00:07:49,991 --> 00:07:52,210 PEOPLE LOVE IT. 203 00:07:52,254 --> 00:07:55,126 - [sighs] MAN, HOW LONG HAVE WE BEEN SITTING HERE? 204 00:07:55,170 --> 00:07:56,780 - HI, BOYS! 205 00:07:56,824 --> 00:07:58,521 all: OHH... - HERE WE GO! 206 00:07:58,565 --> 00:08:01,045 - OH, THANK GOD. WE ARE FAMISHED! 207 00:08:01,089 --> 00:08:04,745 - HEY, DID SOMEBODY ORDER THE CHEF SPECIAL? 208 00:08:04,788 --> 00:08:05,920 - RIGHT THERE. - RIGHT HERE. 209 00:08:05,963 --> 00:08:07,399 - NO, WE HAVEN'T ORDERED ANYTHING. 210 00:08:07,443 --> 00:08:09,097 NO ONE'S EVEN TAKEN OUR DRINKS. 211 00:08:09,140 --> 00:08:10,490 UH, WHAT IS THE CHEF SPECIAL? 212 00:08:10,533 --> 00:08:12,013 [Rihanna's S&Mplaying] 213 00:08:12,056 --> 00:08:15,886 - I BET YOU BOYS HAVE A BIG APPETITE. 214 00:08:15,930 --> 00:08:17,540 - OH, WE DO. 215 00:08:17,584 --> 00:08:19,934 SO WE'LL HAVE AN ONION LOAF FOR THE TABLE, PLEASE. 216 00:08:19,977 --> 00:08:22,327 AND TELL US ABOUT YOUR HEARTIEST SOUPS. 217 00:08:22,371 --> 00:08:23,851 NOW THE CHEF SPECIAL SOUNDED GOOD. 218 00:08:23,894 --> 00:08:26,680 WHAT IS IT EXACTLY? - OOH. SHH. 219 00:08:26,723 --> 00:08:28,116 - OKAY, WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 220 00:08:28,159 --> 00:08:29,552 ARE YOU GIVING ME A TASTE OF THE CHEF SPECIAL? 221 00:08:29,596 --> 00:08:31,162 - MM-HMM. - HMM? 222 00:08:31,206 --> 00:08:32,860 TASTES LIKE CIGARETTES. 223 00:08:32,903 --> 00:08:35,819 THAT WON'T WORK. THAT'S NO GOOD. 224 00:08:35,863 --> 00:08:37,125 [knock at door] - OKAY. 225 00:08:37,168 --> 00:08:39,997 - OH, BOY. - OH! 226 00:08:40,041 --> 00:08:41,608 - HEARD YOU GUYS NEEDED SOME PIPES FIXED, 227 00:08:41,651 --> 00:08:43,392 OR CLEANED OR WHATEVER. 228 00:08:43,435 --> 00:08:45,568 ANGELA'S SPECIAL REPAIR MAN IS HERE. 229 00:08:45,612 --> 00:08:46,917 - WAIT, WHAT IS THIS? 230 00:08:46,961 --> 00:08:50,007 - SHUT UP. JAKEY? 231 00:08:50,051 --> 00:08:52,183 - MOM? - WAIT. WAIT. 232 00:08:52,227 --> 00:08:54,272 WHAT? - OH, MAN. 233 00:08:54,316 --> 00:08:55,752 - NO, NO, NO, NO. JUST DO YOUR WORK. 234 00:08:55,796 --> 00:08:57,058 PRETEND MOM'S NOT HERE. 235 00:08:57,101 --> 00:08:58,973 - UH, THAT SEEMS INAPPROPRIATE. 236 00:08:59,016 --> 00:09:01,192 - GIVE 'EM A GOOD SHOW, MY LITTLE ENTREPRENEUR. 237 00:09:01,236 --> 00:09:03,064 - OKAY. - TAKE IT OFF. 238 00:09:03,107 --> 00:09:05,196 [Big & Rich's Save a Horse [Ride a Cowboy]plays] 239 00:09:05,240 --> 00:09:07,459 - YEAH! GOOD SONG CHOICE, JAKEY. 240 00:09:07,503 --> 00:09:09,157 STRIPPER'S ONLY AS GOOD AS HIS SONG. 241 00:09:09,200 --> 00:09:10,419 - OH... 242 00:09:10,462 --> 00:09:11,725 [all shriek] 243 00:09:11,768 --> 00:09:13,422 - OH! 244 00:09:16,817 --> 00:09:18,209 - OH. 245 00:09:18,253 --> 00:09:21,038 OH, WOWEE WOW. 246 00:09:21,082 --> 00:09:23,084 - ♪ WELL, I WALK INTO THE ROOM ♪ 247 00:09:23,127 --> 00:09:25,739 - WHOO! WHOO-HOO! - ♪ PASSIN' OUT $100 BILLS 248 00:09:25,782 --> 00:09:28,742 - GO, MEREDITH'S STRIPPER SON. 249 00:09:28,785 --> 00:09:30,265 all: OHH! 250 00:09:30,308 --> 00:09:31,962 - RACHEL, ARE YOU ALL RIGHT? I DON'T KNOW! 251 00:09:32,006 --> 00:09:33,094 I DON'T KNOW. - OH, GEE-- 252 00:09:33,137 --> 00:09:34,748 - OH, MY GOD! 253 00:09:34,791 --> 00:09:36,532 - BE GENTLE, JAKEY, GENTLE. 254 00:09:36,576 --> 00:09:38,055 JUST A SECOND. 255 00:09:38,099 --> 00:09:40,144 JUST ONE SECOND. LOOK. 256 00:09:40,188 --> 00:09:42,582 - OKAY, IF ANYTHING, THIS IS ROUGHER! 257 00:09:42,625 --> 00:09:44,148 STOP IT, MEREDITH! 258 00:09:44,192 --> 00:09:45,759 - FINE. MY BAD! GO AHEAD, JAKEY! 259 00:09:45,802 --> 00:09:47,108 - MOM... 260 00:09:47,151 --> 00:09:49,066 - UH, NO. IT'S O--THANK YOU. 261 00:09:49,110 --> 00:09:50,067 YOU KNOW WHAT? YOU DON'T HAVE TO-- 262 00:09:50,111 --> 00:09:51,373 OH! NO, NO, NO. 263 00:09:51,416 --> 00:09:52,940 NO, NO, NO. IT'S OKAY. 264 00:09:52,983 --> 00:09:54,289 - NOW, FOR THE LAST TIME, 265 00:09:54,332 --> 00:09:56,160 I'D LIKE A SIDE SALAD WITH BALSAMIC. 266 00:09:56,204 --> 00:09:58,380 - DWIGHT, FOR THE LAST TIME, SHE'S NOT A WAITRESS. 267 00:09:58,423 --> 00:10:00,208 - YOU'RE TELLING ME! 268 00:10:00,251 --> 00:10:01,992 - IF YOU WANT HER TO LEAVE, JUST TIP HER. 269 00:10:02,036 --> 00:10:04,081 - WHAT FOR? WE HAVEN'T EVEN GOTTEN BREAD YET. 270 00:10:04,125 --> 00:10:06,997 DOES ANYONE WANNA SPLIT A TWICE BAKED POTATO? 271 00:10:07,041 --> 00:10:10,392 DO YOU HAVE THOSE? THOSE AREN'T DEEP FRIED, RIGHT? 272 00:10:10,435 --> 00:10:11,959 - THAT WAS INTERESTING. 273 00:10:12,002 --> 00:10:13,264 - [sighs] [creaking] 274 00:10:13,308 --> 00:10:15,919 WHAT WAS THAT? - IT'S JUST THE WIND. 275 00:10:15,963 --> 00:10:17,965 - WILL YOU LOCK THE DOOR? - OKAY. 276 00:10:18,008 --> 00:10:21,098 - [sighs] 277 00:10:21,142 --> 00:10:23,057 - IT'S JUST THE WIND, SEE? NOTHING. 278 00:10:23,100 --> 00:10:24,449 - ALL RIGHT, YOU KNOW, 279 00:10:24,493 --> 00:10:25,886 YOU DON'T HAVE TO LEAVE THE DOOR WIDE OPEN. 280 00:10:25,929 --> 00:10:27,148 WE GET IT. IT'S THE WIND. 281 00:10:27,191 --> 00:10:28,366 JUST COME AND SHUT--OH! MY GOD! 282 00:10:28,410 --> 00:10:30,325 [all screaming] 283 00:10:30,368 --> 00:10:32,675 - PHYLLIS! - WHAT'S HAPPENING? 284 00:10:32,719 --> 00:10:33,850 - I NEVER THOUGHT I'D SAY THIS, 285 00:10:33,894 --> 00:10:35,852 BUT I THINK I ATE TOO MUCH BONE MARROW. 286 00:10:35,896 --> 00:10:37,288 [phone ringing] - HEY, PAM. 287 00:10:37,332 --> 00:10:38,202 WHAT? 288 00:10:38,246 --> 00:10:40,552 ANGELA'S BEEN KIDNAPPED! 289 00:10:40,596 --> 00:10:42,424 PHYLLIS LEFT THE DOOR OPEN 290 00:10:42,467 --> 00:10:44,513 AND SOME FREAK CAME AND GRABBED HER AND FLED. 291 00:10:44,556 --> 00:10:47,255 - GOOD OLD MOSE. [laughing] 292 00:10:47,298 --> 00:10:49,170 - THEY THINK IT WAS MOSE. 293 00:10:49,213 --> 00:10:51,607 - OH, GREAT, HE'S GETTING INTO THE SPIRIT OF THE FESTIVITIES. 294 00:10:51,651 --> 00:10:53,217 FANTASTIC. 295 00:10:53,261 --> 00:10:54,566 HE JUST PULLED OFF A BRAUT ENTFUHRUNG. 296 00:10:54,610 --> 00:10:56,003 - WHAT IS THAT? 297 00:10:56,046 --> 00:10:57,569 - A CEREMONIAL BRIDAL KIDNAPPING. 298 00:10:57,613 --> 00:11:00,703 HE WILL TAKE THE BRIDE AND HIDE HER AT A LOCAL PUB, 299 00:11:00,747 --> 00:11:03,663 AND WHEN I FIND THE PLACE, I HAVE TO BUY EVERYONE DRINKS. 300 00:11:03,706 --> 00:11:06,535 AH. ALL RIGHT! OH, MOSE! 301 00:11:10,234 --> 00:11:11,366 - IS THAT MOSE? 302 00:11:11,409 --> 00:11:14,064 - I AM HERE FOR MY BRIDE! - [giggles] 303 00:11:14,108 --> 00:11:16,110 WELL, FIRST, BUY US A DRINK. 304 00:11:16,153 --> 00:11:18,678 all: ♪ IF YOU WANT YOUR BRIDE, BUY US A DRINK ♪ 305 00:11:18,721 --> 00:11:20,941 ♪ IF YOU WANT YOUR BRIDE, BUY US A DRINK ♪ 306 00:11:20,984 --> 00:11:22,594 - VERY WELL! DRINKS ON ME! 307 00:11:22,638 --> 00:11:24,988 [all cheering] BARTENDER! 308 00:11:25,032 --> 00:11:26,816 [gasps] 309 00:11:26,860 --> 00:11:29,166 - WELL, WELL, WELL. 310 00:11:29,210 --> 00:11:30,777 - I HEARD YOU BOUGHT A BAR, KEVIN. 311 00:11:30,820 --> 00:11:32,779 - THIS ONE. 312 00:11:32,822 --> 00:11:36,043 NOW GET OUT! 313 00:11:36,086 --> 00:11:39,481 - WHY DID YOU PICK THIS PLACE? - OHH. 314 00:11:39,524 --> 00:11:41,962 - YOU DID THIS AS A PRANK. MY OWN BESTISCH MENSCH. 315 00:11:42,005 --> 00:11:43,615 - NOPE, NOT A PRANK. 316 00:11:43,659 --> 00:11:45,139 I THINK IT'S TIME FOR YOU TO BURY THE HATCHET. 317 00:11:45,182 --> 00:11:46,880 - [scoffs] WASTE OF A GOOD HATCHET. 318 00:11:46,923 --> 00:11:49,360 - OKAY, JUST TALK. 319 00:11:51,188 --> 00:11:53,364 - WELL, W-- 320 00:11:53,408 --> 00:11:54,975 - I HEARD YOU SAY "WELL" THE FIRST TIME, 321 00:11:55,018 --> 00:11:57,238 - I KNOW DWIGHT MISSES KEVIN. 322 00:11:57,281 --> 00:12:00,415 I SAW HIM MAKING HIS PORTRAIT OUT OF A WOOLY WILLY. 323 00:12:00,458 --> 00:12:02,330 TOMORROW'S HIS WEDDING DAY. 324 00:12:02,373 --> 00:12:04,854 YOU CAN'T BE ANYTHING BUT HAPPY ON YOUR WEDDING DAY. 325 00:12:04,898 --> 00:12:06,987 - IT WAS NOTHING PERSONAL. 326 00:12:07,030 --> 00:12:09,076 IT'S JUST THAT YOU WERE TERRIBLE AT YOUR JOB. 327 00:12:09,119 --> 00:12:11,121 - YOU'RE JUST SAYING THAT TO MAKE ME FEEL BETTER. 328 00:12:11,165 --> 00:12:13,515 - NO, REALLY. YOU WERE TERRIBLE AT MATH... 329 00:12:13,558 --> 00:12:16,387 AND ORGANIZATION, TIME MANAGEMENT, 330 00:12:16,431 --> 00:12:18,085 PERSONAL HYGIENE. 331 00:12:18,128 --> 00:12:19,608 YOUR INTERNET SEARCHES WERE SO FILTHY 332 00:12:19,651 --> 00:12:21,305 WE HAD TO THROW OUT YOUR COMPUTER. 333 00:12:21,349 --> 00:12:23,394 - IS THAT ALL IT WAS? 334 00:12:23,438 --> 00:12:26,310 - THAT'S IT. 335 00:12:26,354 --> 00:12:28,573 - COME HERE. 336 00:12:28,617 --> 00:12:29,879 - I MISSED YOU, KEVIN. 337 00:12:29,923 --> 00:12:32,534 - I MISSED YOU! - OHH. 338 00:12:32,577 --> 00:12:34,797 - GUTEN PRANK. - YES, MOSE. 339 00:12:34,841 --> 00:12:39,280 "GUTEN PRANK" NUMBER THREE. 340 00:12:40,760 --> 00:12:43,066 - YOU'VE HAD YOUR DRINK. NOW WHERE IS MY BRIDE? 341 00:12:43,110 --> 00:12:44,807 [all cheering] 342 00:12:44,851 --> 00:12:47,810 MOSE! WHAT... 343 00:12:47,854 --> 00:12:50,291 OHH, MOSE. 344 00:12:50,334 --> 00:12:51,988 - WHAT THE [bleep] IS YOUR PROBLEM, 345 00:12:52,032 --> 00:12:54,774 YOU [bleep] [bleep] [bleep]? 346 00:12:57,994 --> 00:13:00,823 - HEY, IS ANGELA COMING, OR-- 347 00:13:00,867 --> 00:13:02,782 - NO. WE CAN'T SEE EACH OTHER ON OUR WEDDING DAY. 348 00:13:02,825 --> 00:13:04,958 AND HER LEGS ARE STILL NUMB FROM BEING IN THE TRUNK. 349 00:13:05,001 --> 00:13:06,611 - RIGHT. - HEY, GUYS. 350 00:13:06,655 --> 00:13:08,265 all: STANLEY! 351 00:13:08,309 --> 00:13:11,312 - HOW'S FLORIDA? - OH, GREAT. 352 00:13:11,355 --> 00:13:12,835 YES, I'M LIVING IN FLORIDA NOW. 353 00:13:12,879 --> 00:13:15,229 JUST ON THE EDGE OF THE EVERGLADES. 354 00:13:15,272 --> 00:13:18,841 I SIT ON MY PORCH ALL DAY, CARVING BIRDS. 355 00:13:18,885 --> 00:13:20,538 - AM I THE ONLY ONE THAT'S NERVOUS? HEH HEH. 356 00:13:20,582 --> 00:13:22,671 HOW ARE YOU DOING WITH THIS? SHOULD WE HAVE BAILED? 357 00:13:22,714 --> 00:13:24,760 - NO, NO, I'M FINE. 358 00:13:24,804 --> 00:13:28,808 - DOESN'T SEEM LIKE ANYONE CARES ABOUT US ANYWAY. 359 00:13:28,851 --> 00:13:31,419 - I'M SORRY, GUYS. THIS IS PROBABLY ON ME. 360 00:13:31,462 --> 00:13:34,248 I GOT HATED ON PRETTY HARD WHEN THAT AUTO-TUNE WENT VIRAL. 361 00:13:34,291 --> 00:13:37,338 ♪ JUST SIT HERE AND CRY, JUST SIT HERE AND CRY ♪ 362 00:13:37,381 --> 00:13:40,384 ♪ OH, I CAN SO JUST SIT HERE AND CRY ♪ 363 00:13:40,428 --> 00:13:42,386 ♪ YOU GUYS ARE REALLY MEAN 364 00:13:42,430 --> 00:13:44,084 ♪ IT CAN'T END LIKE THIS, YOU KNOW ♪ 365 00:13:44,127 --> 00:13:45,825 ♪ SLEPT IN MY CAR LAST NIGHT, QUIT MY JOB ♪ 366 00:13:45,868 --> 00:13:46,913 ♪ BURNED ALL MY BRIDGES 367 00:13:46,956 --> 00:13:49,045 ♪ AND I DID UNSPEAKABLE THINGS 368 00:13:49,089 --> 00:13:50,699 - ♪ YOU'RE JUST NOT GOOD 369 00:13:50,742 --> 00:13:52,092 ♪ YOU'RE JUST NOT GOOD 370 00:13:52,135 --> 00:13:53,267 - ♪ ARE YOU INSANE? 371 00:13:53,310 --> 00:13:55,095 - ♪ YOU'RE JUST NOT GOOD 372 00:13:55,138 --> 00:13:56,357 ♪ YOU'RE JUST NOT GOOD 373 00:13:56,400 --> 00:13:58,141 - ♪ CHILL OUT [crying] 374 00:13:58,185 --> 00:14:00,230 - [giggling] - ♪ JUST SIT HERE AND CRY 375 00:14:00,274 --> 00:14:02,798 - PEOPLE ACTUALLY DANCE TO THIS. 376 00:14:02,842 --> 00:14:04,844 IT'S IN MY JUKE BOX. 377 00:14:04,887 --> 00:14:07,585 NONE OF THE MONEY GOES TO ANDY, THOUGH. 378 00:14:07,629 --> 00:14:10,153 - ♪ CRY, CRY, CRY 379 00:14:10,197 --> 00:14:14,114 - [laughing] YEAH, PEOPLE HATE YOU. 380 00:14:14,157 --> 00:14:17,465 - I'LL GO TALK TO THE MANAGER. MAYBE WE SHOULD JUST GO HOME. 381 00:14:23,471 --> 00:14:25,386 - HEY, IT'S ANDY BERNARD. 382 00:14:25,429 --> 00:14:26,822 all: NARD DOG! 383 00:14:26,866 --> 00:14:29,607 [cheers and applause] 384 00:14:29,651 --> 00:14:31,435 - ROO-DOO-DOO-DOO! 385 00:14:31,479 --> 00:14:33,394 all: ROO-DOO-DOO-DOO-DOO! 386 00:14:33,437 --> 00:14:35,483 ROO-DOO-DOO-DOO-DOO! 387 00:14:35,526 --> 00:14:37,441 ROO-DOO-DOO-DOO-DOO! 388 00:14:37,485 --> 00:14:39,487 ROO-DOO-DOO-DOO-DOO! 389 00:14:39,530 --> 00:14:41,358 - ROO-DOO-DOO-DOO-DOO! 390 00:14:41,402 --> 00:14:44,144 [cheers and applause] 391 00:14:46,537 --> 00:14:48,017 - HOW DID IT FEEL TO SEE YOUR LIVES 392 00:14:48,061 --> 00:14:49,627 PLAYED OUT ON TV? 393 00:14:49,671 --> 00:14:51,716 - IT'S LIKE SEEING A DOCUMENTARY ABOUT HOW YOUR FOOD IS MADE. 394 00:14:51,760 --> 00:14:53,718 IT'S KINDA DISGUSTING. 395 00:14:53,762 --> 00:14:56,983 YOU LEARN A LOT, BUT I DIDN'T WANNA KNOW ANY OF IT. 396 00:14:57,026 --> 00:14:59,507 - WITH TODAY'S MODERN SURVEILLANCE TECHNOLOGY, 397 00:14:59,550 --> 00:15:03,728 WE ARE IN A CONSTANT STATE OF BEING WATCHED, 398 00:15:03,772 --> 00:15:04,991 WHETHER IT'S OUR GOVERNMENT 399 00:15:05,034 --> 00:15:06,427 OR THE GOVERNMENT OF OTHER COUNTRIES, 400 00:15:06,470 --> 00:15:08,081 A.K.A. GOOGLE. 401 00:15:08,124 --> 00:15:10,953 YOU GUYS ARE BEING FILMED WAY MORE THAN WE EVER WERE. 402 00:15:10,997 --> 00:15:13,086 - UH, NO ONE RECOGNIZES ME. 403 00:15:13,129 --> 00:15:15,088 BUT NOW ALL MY FRIENDS CALL ME PLOP. 404 00:15:15,131 --> 00:15:18,091 SO...THANKS, PBS. [laughter] 405 00:15:18,134 --> 00:15:21,529 - UH, JIM, THAT DVD IN THE LAST EPISODE 406 00:15:21,572 --> 00:15:23,400 WAS SO ROMANTIC. 407 00:15:23,444 --> 00:15:25,707 AND, UM, I THINK WE'D ALL LOVE TO KNOW, 408 00:15:25,750 --> 00:15:29,450 PAM, WHAT ROMANTIC THING DID YOU DO TO PAY JIM BACK 409 00:15:29,493 --> 00:15:30,973 FOR LEAVING ATHLEAD? 410 00:15:31,017 --> 00:15:34,107 - WELL, I MEAN, HOW DO YOU PAY BACK SOMEONE 411 00:15:34,150 --> 00:15:36,283 FOR SOMETHING LIKE THAT? 412 00:15:36,326 --> 00:15:40,243 BUT, UH, I DON'T KNOW. I'M WORKING ON SOMETHING. 413 00:15:40,287 --> 00:15:43,507 - SHE PAYS ME BACK EVERY DAY, JUST BY BEING MY WIFE. 414 00:15:43,551 --> 00:15:44,682 SO THAT'S FINE. 415 00:15:44,726 --> 00:15:46,771 all: AWW. 416 00:15:46,815 --> 00:15:48,686 - O-KAY. 417 00:15:48,730 --> 00:15:51,951 - ALL I CAN SAY IS, IF I HAD JIM, 418 00:15:51,994 --> 00:15:54,562 HE WOULD HAVE A FREE PASS TO DO ANYTHING. 419 00:15:54,605 --> 00:15:57,782 I MEAN, IF I LUCKED INTO THAT, 420 00:15:57,826 --> 00:15:59,741 HE COULD DO ANYTHING-- 421 00:15:59,784 --> 00:16:01,482 ANYTHING. 422 00:16:01,525 --> 00:16:04,833 - I'M SORRY, IS THERE A QUESTION? 423 00:16:04,876 --> 00:16:08,706 - UH, NO. 424 00:16:08,750 --> 00:16:10,578 - PAM, WHAT WAS IN THAT TEAPOT LETTER? 425 00:16:10,621 --> 00:16:13,624 - OH, UM, WELL, YOU KNOW, I-- 426 00:16:13,668 --> 00:16:16,801 I JUST--I THINK I WOULD RATHER KEEP THAT PRIVATE. 427 00:16:16,845 --> 00:16:19,413 YOU KNOW, IF YOU'D BEEN FILMED FOR NINE YEARS OF YOUR LIFE, 428 00:16:19,456 --> 00:16:22,242 THERE'D BE SOME THINGS THAT YOU JUST WANNA KEEP TO YOURSELF. 429 00:16:22,285 --> 00:16:26,028 - I HEAR YA. WHAT DID IT SAY? 430 00:16:26,072 --> 00:16:27,421 - WE'RE GONNA MOVE ON. 431 00:16:27,464 --> 00:16:28,770 NEXT QUESTION, PLEASE. 432 00:16:28,813 --> 00:16:31,251 - DO YOU FIND THAT YOUR LIFE FEELS POINTLESS 433 00:16:31,294 --> 00:16:33,601 NOW THAT NOBODY'S ACTUALLY FILMING YOU ANYMORE? 434 00:16:33,644 --> 00:16:36,517 - YES. 435 00:16:38,388 --> 00:16:40,216 - I HAVE A QUESTION FOR JIM AND PAM. 436 00:16:40,260 --> 00:16:43,698 EVERYONE WATCHING SEES HOW MUCH YOU LOVE EACH OTHER 437 00:16:43,741 --> 00:16:45,787 AND HOW YOU'RE SOUL MATES. 438 00:16:45,830 --> 00:16:48,311 SO, PAM, HOW COULD YOU DOUBT THAT 439 00:16:48,355 --> 00:16:50,531 WHEN JIM MOVED TO PHILADELPHIA? 440 00:16:50,574 --> 00:16:53,838 - UM, YOU KNOW WHAT, I ACTUALLY DIDN'T HANDLE THAT MOVE, UH, 441 00:16:53,882 --> 00:16:55,623 VERY GRACEFULLY, 442 00:16:55,666 --> 00:16:59,148 FROM NOT COMMUNICATING TO BEING A LITTLE SELFISH. 443 00:16:59,192 --> 00:17:00,845 - LISTEN, UM... 444 00:17:00,889 --> 00:17:04,240 I WAS SCARED, YOU KNOW? 445 00:17:04,284 --> 00:17:06,808 I LOVED WHAT I HAD, AND I DIDN'T WANNA RISK IT. 446 00:17:06,851 --> 00:17:11,291 AND I THINK THAT MAYBE I DID DOUBT HIM A LITTLE TOO. 447 00:17:11,334 --> 00:17:12,988 WHICH WAS WRONG, 448 00:17:13,032 --> 00:17:15,817 BECAUSE HE'S SHOWN ME TIME AND AGAIN. 449 00:17:15,860 --> 00:17:17,862 BUT WHEN THE DOCUMENTARY STARTED AIRING, 450 00:17:17,906 --> 00:17:19,081 PEOPLE ON THE STREET TOLD ME 451 00:17:19,125 --> 00:17:21,692 THAT I HAD THIS FAIRY-TALE ROMANCE. 452 00:17:21,736 --> 00:17:23,825 BUT THERE WERE A LOT OF TIMES LAST YEAR 453 00:17:23,868 --> 00:17:26,088 WHEN IT DID NOT FEEL LIKE A FAIRY TALE. 454 00:17:26,132 --> 00:17:30,745 BUT THEN IT GOT DEEPER, AND IT GOT STRONGER, 455 00:17:30,788 --> 00:17:33,487 AND NOW IT'S BETTER THAN A FAIRY TALE. 456 00:17:33,530 --> 00:17:37,882 IT'S LIKE A LONG BOOK THAT YOU NEVER WANT TO END. 457 00:17:37,926 --> 00:17:39,493 AND YOU'RE FINE WITH THAT, 458 00:17:39,536 --> 00:17:42,670 BECAUSE YOU JUST NEVER, EVER WANNA LEAVE IT. 459 00:17:42,713 --> 00:17:44,193 all: AWW. 460 00:17:44,237 --> 00:17:45,760 - LIKE HARRY POTTER. 461 00:17:45,803 --> 00:17:49,024 - YEAH, LIKE HARRY POTTER. 462 00:17:49,068 --> 00:17:52,027 - I HAVE A QUESTION FOR ERIN. 463 00:17:52,071 --> 00:17:54,160 - REALLY? - YES. 464 00:17:54,203 --> 00:17:57,032 UM, THE THING I FOUND MOST COMPELLING 465 00:17:57,076 --> 00:18:00,601 ABOUT THE DOCUMENTARY WAS YOUR SEARCH 466 00:18:00,644 --> 00:18:01,906 FOR YOUR BIRTH MOTHER. 467 00:18:01,950 --> 00:18:04,300 - THANK YOU. 468 00:18:04,344 --> 00:18:09,000 - SO MY QUESTION IS, UM, DO--DON'T YOU HATE HER? 469 00:18:09,044 --> 00:18:13,135 I MEAN, I WOULD JUST IMAGINE THAT YOU WERE SO ANGRY AT HER 470 00:18:13,179 --> 00:18:16,573 THAT YOU WOULD HATE HER. 471 00:18:16,617 --> 00:18:18,140 - MAYBE SOMETIMES. 472 00:18:18,184 --> 00:18:20,838 BUT NOT LIKE HATEHATE. 473 00:18:20,882 --> 00:18:24,886 MORE JUST LIKE, "MOM, I HATE YOU!" 474 00:18:24,929 --> 00:18:28,803 AND THEN SHE WOULD SAY, "GO TO YOUR ROOM, YOUNG LADY." 475 00:18:28,846 --> 00:18:30,935 AND I'D STAMP MY FOOT AND RUN UPSTAIRS. 476 00:18:30,979 --> 00:18:33,938 AND I HAVE A ROOM, WHICH IS REALLY COOL. 477 00:18:33,982 --> 00:18:37,028 AND THEN WE'D JUST HAVE DINNER TOGETHER. 478 00:18:37,072 --> 00:18:38,378 BUT I DON'T KNOW. I'D HAVE TO MEET HER. 479 00:18:38,421 --> 00:18:39,770 [laughs] THANKS. 480 00:18:43,122 --> 00:18:45,515 - ERIN... 481 00:18:45,559 --> 00:18:48,518 - YES? 482 00:18:48,562 --> 00:18:50,041 - UM... 483 00:18:50,085 --> 00:18:55,221 OH, ERIN... 484 00:18:55,264 --> 00:19:00,748 - YES? IS THERE A FOLLOW-UP QUESTION? 485 00:19:04,969 --> 00:19:09,104 MOM? 486 00:19:09,148 --> 00:19:10,932 all: AWW. 487 00:19:10,975 --> 00:19:13,978 [applause] 488 00:19:21,029 --> 00:19:22,073 - ERIN... 489 00:19:22,117 --> 00:19:24,946 SAME QUESTION, BUT ABOUT YOUR DAD? 490 00:19:30,952 --> 00:19:33,998 - WELL, THIS FEELS LIKE A GOOD PLACE TO STOP. 491 00:19:34,042 --> 00:19:35,957 LET'S THANK ALL OF OUR WONDERFUL PANELISTS 492 00:19:36,000 --> 00:19:39,047 FOR BEING HERE ON THIS WONDERFUL PANEL TODAY. 493 00:19:45,271 --> 00:19:47,403 NEXT WEEK AT THE SCRANTON CULTURAL CENTER, 494 00:19:47,447 --> 00:19:50,450 DON'T FORGET, IRISH STEP DANCING SEMIFINALS. 495 00:19:50,493 --> 00:19:52,321 WINNING TEAM TO MID-ATLANTIC. 496 00:19:52,365 --> 00:19:55,933 [applause] 497 00:20:02,679 --> 00:20:04,507 - WHERE'S THE, UH, BASKET FOR GIFTS? 498 00:20:04,551 --> 00:20:07,031 - RIGHT THERE, SIR. 499 00:20:07,075 --> 00:20:10,034 - HI. I'M DAKOTA. - JEFF BOMONDO. 500 00:20:10,078 --> 00:20:11,427 I SELL CERAMIC TILE OUT OF NEWARK. 501 00:20:11,471 --> 00:20:13,255 - NICE. - MY WIFE'S NAME IS KATHRYN. 502 00:20:13,299 --> 00:20:15,257 I CAN SHOW YOU MY SOCIAL SECURITY CARD, 503 00:20:15,301 --> 00:20:17,259 IF IT HELPS. 504 00:20:17,303 --> 00:20:20,262 - YOU READY? - [chuckles] YOU KIDDING? 505 00:20:20,306 --> 00:20:21,742 I WAS BORN READY. 506 00:20:21,785 --> 00:20:23,134 [mimicking heavy metal guitars] 507 00:20:23,178 --> 00:20:24,310 - DWIGHT, DWIGHT, DWIGHT. 508 00:20:24,353 --> 00:20:26,921 UM... 509 00:20:26,964 --> 00:20:29,097 I DON'T KNOW HOW TO TELL YOU THIS, BUT... 510 00:20:29,140 --> 00:20:30,664 WE HAVE A LITTLE BIT OF A PROBLEM. 511 00:20:30,707 --> 00:20:33,232 - OH, NO. WHAT? 512 00:20:33,275 --> 00:20:35,321 - THE MINISTER JUST TOLD ME THAT IT'S TRADITION 513 00:20:35,364 --> 00:20:39,194 FOR THE BESTISCH MENSCH TO BE OLDER THAN THE GROOM. 514 00:20:39,238 --> 00:20:40,369 - OH, COME ON. 515 00:20:40,413 --> 00:20:41,979 I'VE NEVER HEARD OF SUCH A THING. 516 00:20:42,023 --> 00:20:43,329 - I HAVEN'T HEARD OF IT, OBVIOUSLY. 517 00:20:43,372 --> 00:20:45,069 BUT I'M OUT, 518 00:20:45,113 --> 00:20:46,462 BECAUSE I'M SIGNIFICANTLY YOUNGER THAN YOU. 519 00:20:46,506 --> 00:20:48,638 - NOT--SIGNIFICANT IS A BIG WORD. 520 00:20:48,682 --> 00:20:50,292 - I THINK IT'S DEFINITELY-- WELL, OKAY. 521 00:20:50,336 --> 00:20:51,380 EITHER WAY-- - I THINK YOU'RE ONLY A TEENY-- 522 00:20:51,424 --> 00:20:54,296 - EITHER WAY, DWIGHT... 523 00:20:54,340 --> 00:20:56,907 I CAN'T BE THERE FOR YOU. 524 00:20:56,951 --> 00:20:58,692 I'M SORRY. 525 00:20:58,735 --> 00:21:00,868 - JIM. 526 00:21:00,911 --> 00:21:06,308 - I JUST...REALLY WISH THERE WAS SOMETHING I COULD DO. 527 00:21:13,272 --> 00:21:16,231 - [whispering] MICHAEL. 528 00:21:16,275 --> 00:21:18,799 I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU CAME. 529 00:21:18,842 --> 00:21:21,367 - THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID. 530 00:21:23,325 --> 00:21:26,241 - [laughing] 531 00:21:26,285 --> 00:21:28,330 - BEST PRANK EVER. 532 00:21:28,374 --> 00:21:29,853 - YEAH!