1 00:00:01,086 --> 00:00:03,254 Today is the first day of Sabre's new project 2 00:00:03,380 --> 00:00:05,507 to develop a chain of retail stores. 3 00:00:05,590 --> 00:00:09,386 I am meeting my new boss, Nellie Bertram, Head of Special Projects. 4 00:00:10,053 --> 00:00:11,638 Work starts at 9:00. 5 00:00:11,888 --> 00:00:15,350 Sabre HQ is 30 minutes away driving the speed limit, 6 00:00:15,433 --> 00:00:17,686 giving everyone 20 minutes to shower, 7 00:00:17,811 --> 00:00:20,063 plus 50 for Jim to style his hair, 8 00:00:20,146 --> 00:00:24,401 20 for breakfast, 40 for Erin to get lost between her room and the lobby, 9 00:00:24,484 --> 00:00:27,112 90 for Ryan to do his morning ecstasy. 10 00:00:28,238 --> 00:00:30,115 We're already 20 minutes late. 11 00:00:36,454 --> 00:00:38,957 Wake up! 12 00:00:42,210 --> 00:00:44,838 Hey, hey, hey, hey, wake up! Ow! 13 00:00:45,964 --> 00:00:47,465 Why are you sleeping that way? 14 00:00:47,549 --> 00:00:50,844 Oh. I was reading the mattress tag and I fell asleep. 15 00:00:51,302 --> 00:00:55,390 Stanley! Wake up! You've got to wake up! The hotel's on fire! 16 00:00:55,473 --> 00:00:57,976 Stanley, wake up! It's pretzel day! 17 00:01:07,193 --> 00:01:08,194 Good morning. 18 00:01:08,278 --> 00:01:12,157 Hey, wake up. Let's have some fun. We're in Florida now. 19 00:01:12,240 --> 00:01:14,617 Hey, you. I'm so glad this is happening. 20 00:01:14,743 --> 00:01:17,120 I actually came to your door twice last night. 21 00:01:17,203 --> 00:01:19,330 Come on in, the water's fine. 22 00:01:19,581 --> 00:01:21,040 Oh, not cool! 23 00:01:21,583 --> 00:01:26,087 I am on the two-kids sleep schedule, so I'm up and at 'em at 4:15. 24 00:01:26,171 --> 00:01:29,799 But no kids, so I honestly didn't know what to do with myself. 25 00:01:30,467 --> 00:01:32,302 And then I thought of something. Uh... 26 00:01:33,344 --> 00:01:36,264 Here is Dwight... What the... 27 00:01:38,683 --> 00:01:40,018 Oh, man. 28 00:01:40,143 --> 00:01:41,478 What do you think happened? 29 00:01:42,353 --> 00:01:44,814 Looks like Jim got mixed up with some bad apples. 30 00:01:45,857 --> 00:01:48,568 Oh, no, no, no, no. It wasn't me. 31 00:01:49,861 --> 00:01:52,530 I got to find "Luwanda at the Alcohol Club." 32 00:02:18,056 --> 00:02:19,682 Puppet Cool. For your kids? 33 00:02:19,766 --> 00:02:22,519 Yeah. It's weird being away from them. I've never done this before. 34 00:02:22,977 --> 00:02:26,689 Attention, Dunder Mifflin group, proceed outside. 35 00:02:27,065 --> 00:02:29,859 The vehicle is waiting. Seats have been assigned. 36 00:02:29,943 --> 00:02:31,486 Shotgun goes to Ryan. 37 00:02:31,569 --> 00:02:33,613 Congratulations, Ryan. 38 00:02:36,074 --> 00:02:38,201 I need to make Nellie see me as a leader today. 39 00:02:38,368 --> 00:02:40,745 First impressions get locked in forever. 40 00:02:41,079 --> 00:02:42,914 When I first met Pam, she said something 41 00:02:43,039 --> 00:02:44,833 that slightly rubbed me the wrong way. 42 00:02:44,916 --> 00:02:47,126 Since then I've loved working with Pam, 43 00:02:47,210 --> 00:02:48,878 and she's frankly wonderful, 44 00:02:48,962 --> 00:02:50,171 but I hate her. 45 00:02:51,214 --> 00:02:52,590 I'll have a bottle of the antacid. 46 00:02:53,091 --> 00:02:54,843 Also I want to get a souvenir for my son, 47 00:02:54,926 --> 00:02:56,553 but his mother doesn't acknowledge my paternity. 48 00:02:56,636 --> 00:02:57,804 Do you have anything for that? 49 00:02:57,887 --> 00:02:59,764 Also I want it to have a Florida feel. 50 00:02:59,848 --> 00:03:01,391 What does he like? 51 00:03:01,850 --> 00:03:03,142 Power. 52 00:03:03,601 --> 00:03:07,981 Okay, and this one is, "Huh. Don't see too many museums around here." 53 00:03:08,064 --> 00:03:10,400 Okay, Twiggy, that's enough. Get in the car. 54 00:03:10,900 --> 00:03:12,026 Hey, are you okay? 55 00:03:12,110 --> 00:03:14,445 I'm fine, okay? I'm just stressed 56 00:03:14,529 --> 00:03:16,698 because I care about this project. 57 00:03:16,781 --> 00:03:18,199 And frankly, the fact that none of you 58 00:03:18,324 --> 00:03:19,742 are vomiting or diarrheal right now, 59 00:03:19,826 --> 00:03:20,910 I find very alarming. 60 00:03:20,994 --> 00:03:23,037 Who says none of us are diarrheal? 61 00:03:25,373 --> 00:03:27,834 Are you sure it's stress? Because I did poison you. 62 00:03:27,917 --> 00:03:29,294 Very funny, Jim. 63 00:03:29,377 --> 00:03:31,087 Oh, no, I'm serious. I was thinking for this trip, 64 00:03:31,170 --> 00:03:33,006 I have to do something epic, so what should that be? 65 00:03:33,089 --> 00:03:35,008 And then I thought of it. I'll poison you. 66 00:03:35,466 --> 00:03:37,260 What are you going to do? Are you going to steal my newspaper, 67 00:03:37,343 --> 00:03:38,761 or put a cricket in my cereal, or something? 68 00:03:39,137 --> 00:03:41,431 I'm gonna set your face on fire. That's a good one. 69 00:03:44,976 --> 00:03:46,686 Whoa. Stanley, did you just come back 70 00:03:46,769 --> 00:03:47,979 from burning down a rival night club? 71 00:03:48,062 --> 00:03:49,105 Laugh it up, Halpert. 72 00:03:49,188 --> 00:03:53,026 I'm in Florida for a month without my family, I'm going to enjoy this. 73 00:03:53,568 --> 00:03:56,154 Want to get in? You can work the iPod. 74 00:03:56,863 --> 00:03:58,156 Yes. 75 00:03:58,865 --> 00:04:01,993 You're a nice guy, Jim, but you have no idea how to vacation. 76 00:04:02,076 --> 00:04:03,161 Find some Kenny Loggins. 77 00:04:03,286 --> 00:04:04,370 Loggins and Messina. 78 00:04:04,454 --> 00:04:06,247 Did I say Messina? 79 00:04:09,918 --> 00:04:13,212 Sorry, I couldn't resist. It's so quiet. 80 00:04:13,296 --> 00:04:14,756 I like it. 81 00:04:14,839 --> 00:04:17,550 It's so peaceful, I've already written 12 plays today. 82 00:04:18,092 --> 00:04:22,847 It's so quiet, one might say you could hear a pin... 83 00:04:25,516 --> 00:04:27,018 I thought that would be cooler. 84 00:04:27,310 --> 00:04:28,436 I loved it. 85 00:04:28,519 --> 00:04:29,854 Hey, can you pick up the pin? 86 00:04:29,938 --> 00:04:31,439 Some of us like to work in our bare feet. 87 00:04:31,522 --> 00:04:36,361 Of course. I will pick up the pin. It is right here. 88 00:04:38,363 --> 00:04:40,114 Got it. Can we see that? Did you really find it? 89 00:04:40,198 --> 00:04:43,368 Yes. Right here. Got it. Dink. Ow. 90 00:04:45,244 --> 00:04:47,872 In the trash. Hey, why is it so quiet? 91 00:04:47,956 --> 00:04:49,707 Shouldn't the phone be ringing? 92 00:04:50,750 --> 00:04:51,793 Uh-oh. 93 00:04:52,418 --> 00:04:53,878 Erin set the phone to voice-mail. 94 00:04:53,962 --> 00:04:55,672 Great. Oh, my God, we're screwed. 95 00:04:56,005 --> 00:04:58,466 There. 96 00:04:58,549 --> 00:05:00,760 Oh, there we go. Pam? 97 00:05:00,843 --> 00:05:02,178 Yeah. 98 00:05:02,303 --> 00:05:03,638 Can you get the phone? 99 00:05:03,721 --> 00:05:05,056 Well, I'm not the receptionist. 100 00:05:05,181 --> 00:05:06,474 Well, you used to be. 101 00:05:07,266 --> 00:05:10,812 I know, but I can't cover reception. I have a ton of work to do. 102 00:05:10,937 --> 00:05:12,730 Phone's ringing. 103 00:05:14,065 --> 00:05:17,735 Will one of you get the phone? I am freaking out! I know it's for me. 104 00:05:22,949 --> 00:05:25,827 Are you guys kidding me? Stop flirting and someone get the phone! 105 00:05:25,910 --> 00:05:27,203 Answer the phone! 106 00:05:27,286 --> 00:05:28,538 Pick up the phone! 107 00:05:28,663 --> 00:05:29,872 Andy, you're standing up! 108 00:05:29,956 --> 00:05:31,082 You're the closest one to it. 109 00:05:31,207 --> 00:05:32,291 Fine. 110 00:05:32,625 --> 00:05:34,627 Hello. Dunder Mifflin. 111 00:05:34,919 --> 00:05:37,255 Hello, you've reached Dunder Mifflin. How may I be of service? 112 00:05:39,007 --> 00:05:40,633 How was the drive? Fantastic. 113 00:05:40,717 --> 00:05:41,843 Stanley drives so fast. 114 00:05:41,926 --> 00:05:46,014 Life is short. Drive fast, leave a sexy corpse. That's one of my mottos. 115 00:05:47,265 --> 00:05:49,350 I would love to hear the other mottos. 116 00:05:50,601 --> 00:05:51,644 Quick query, Halpert. 117 00:05:51,769 --> 00:05:52,812 No way. 118 00:05:52,895 --> 00:05:54,188 Still queer? 119 00:05:54,897 --> 00:05:55,940 Packer 120 00:05:56,024 --> 00:05:58,776 You can't put me down. Too strong. 121 00:06:00,445 --> 00:06:03,281 Yeah, Dwight and Jim tried to get me fired. 122 00:06:03,364 --> 00:06:05,825 But I landed on my feet down here in Florida. 123 00:06:05,950 --> 00:06:09,120 You see, this cat's got nine lives and a nine-inch... 124 00:06:09,704 --> 00:06:13,624 Say, "So who's leading this thing anyway?" 125 00:06:14,751 --> 00:06:16,836 So who's leading this thing anyway? 126 00:06:19,088 --> 00:06:22,091 Psst. Say, "I can't wait to meet him." 127 00:06:22,633 --> 00:06:24,260 I can't wait to meet him. 128 00:06:24,343 --> 00:06:29,724 "Him," you said? Don't think a woman can be a leader? 129 00:06:31,017 --> 00:06:34,395 I... You poor, simple boy. 130 00:06:34,479 --> 00:06:36,022 Expected a man, did you? 131 00:06:36,105 --> 00:06:42,028 Strong, powerful, huge whopping penis? Well, sorry to disappoint. 132 00:06:42,111 --> 00:06:46,616 But my huge whopping penis is right here, and I'm not afraid to use it. 133 00:06:47,533 --> 00:06:52,121 So stop looking at my breasts, and start looking at my penis. 134 00:06:55,792 --> 00:06:59,253 I'm Nellie Bertram, President of Special Projects. 135 00:06:59,629 --> 00:07:01,047 In the next few weeks we're going to throw 136 00:07:01,172 --> 00:07:02,632 everything you know about business 137 00:07:02,715 --> 00:07:05,218 out of the window and do it our own way. 138 00:07:05,676 --> 00:07:07,637 Are your minds blown? 139 00:07:07,720 --> 00:07:11,140 So, how did this special project come about anyway? 140 00:07:11,224 --> 00:07:17,522 Well, I interviewed to be the manager of your branch. 141 00:07:17,897 --> 00:07:21,943 After you decided I wasn't a good fit... 142 00:07:22,026 --> 00:07:23,528 It was... Ah. Mmm-mmm. 143 00:07:24,028 --> 00:07:26,531 It was. I went on a shopping spree. 144 00:07:26,656 --> 00:07:29,117 Very destructive, I bought 13 pianos. 145 00:07:29,200 --> 00:07:32,829 Then I realized, what if Sabre had a store? Hmm? 146 00:07:33,579 --> 00:07:37,416 So I called Jo, old friend, founder of Sabre, and I told her, 147 00:07:37,500 --> 00:07:40,461 and she grabbed me by the shoulders and she said, "Yes!" 148 00:07:40,878 --> 00:07:42,922 So let's talk about this Sabre store then. 149 00:07:43,464 --> 00:07:45,967 Probably going to look stupid, right? 150 00:07:46,050 --> 00:07:48,636 Like a big turd with a door on the front, right? 151 00:07:48,719 --> 00:07:50,221 What do you think it should look like? 152 00:07:50,346 --> 00:07:53,307 It might be fun if each store had a different theme, 153 00:07:53,391 --> 00:07:55,768 like a beach one, a winter one, a jungle one. 154 00:07:55,852 --> 00:07:57,687 No. Not a big fan of the winter aesthetic. 155 00:07:57,770 --> 00:07:59,605 Well, that was just one idea. It doesn't have to be winter. 156 00:07:59,689 --> 00:08:01,566 Oh, no, it does. It does. 157 00:08:01,649 --> 00:08:04,235 It has to be winter, and I reject it. 158 00:08:04,861 --> 00:08:09,574 So I drew up a design concept, probably going to be rubbish, right? 159 00:08:10,575 --> 00:08:13,161 Would you like to look at it? Just so you can laugh at it. 160 00:08:13,244 --> 00:08:14,287 Yeah. 161 00:08:14,412 --> 00:08:15,496 Let me just get the projector working. 162 00:08:16,998 --> 00:08:19,625 You got to stop with the antacids. It's not the antidote. 163 00:08:20,251 --> 00:08:21,878 You didn't poison me. It's just stress. 164 00:08:21,961 --> 00:08:23,254 Okay. 165 00:08:23,379 --> 00:08:24,630 What is the antidote? 166 00:08:24,714 --> 00:08:26,007 True love's kiss. 167 00:08:26,132 --> 00:08:27,466 Jim, help me lower this screen. 168 00:08:27,675 --> 00:08:29,510 You're a big tall man. 169 00:08:29,594 --> 00:08:32,680 You'd be hilarious trying to do it, like a little boy. 170 00:08:33,055 --> 00:08:34,640 Just let go of his balloon. 171 00:08:34,932 --> 00:08:37,018 I'll do it. 172 00:08:37,101 --> 00:08:40,521 I always say if you want something done right, ask Dwight. 173 00:08:40,605 --> 00:08:41,606 Right, Dwight. 174 00:08:41,981 --> 00:08:44,108 Right, Dwight. Right, Dwight. Right, Dwight. 175 00:08:44,192 --> 00:08:46,694 Sorry. Now you'll never be able to get that out of your head. 176 00:08:49,864 --> 00:08:51,240 I can do it. 177 00:08:56,746 --> 00:08:57,872 There we go. 178 00:09:03,127 --> 00:09:06,005 Yes, a complete inability to pass gas, pervert. 179 00:09:06,505 --> 00:09:10,426 Yeah, it's tender, but it can't be appendicitis. I eat more than enough bacon. 180 00:09:10,801 --> 00:09:14,305 Okay, what poison mimics the symptoms of appendicitis? 181 00:09:14,430 --> 00:09:15,640 You don't know. Hold on. 182 00:09:22,480 --> 00:09:24,190 What kind of poison did you use? 183 00:09:24,857 --> 00:09:27,777 Dwight, I didn't poison you. I was kidding. 184 00:09:31,072 --> 00:09:33,407 Yeah, I'm going to need an ambulance. 185 00:09:34,325 --> 00:09:36,827 Hold on. I have the address in my phone. Hold on. 186 00:09:38,162 --> 00:09:39,455 Sabre has assigned... Hold on one second. 187 00:09:39,538 --> 00:09:41,082 ...the following positions in the retail division. 188 00:09:41,165 --> 00:09:42,333 Uh, quick question. 189 00:09:42,458 --> 00:09:45,878 Vice President, who is that? There is no name listed. 190 00:09:45,962 --> 00:09:49,840 Is there not? Maybe I'm just waiting for someone to wow me. 191 00:09:53,302 --> 00:09:55,972 Sir? Sir, where should we send the ambulance? 192 00:09:56,389 --> 00:09:58,724 Send it to the freaking moon, idiot. 193 00:10:00,184 --> 00:10:02,937 I'll tell you what, though, since my move down to Florida, 194 00:10:03,020 --> 00:10:05,189 I've really gotten back into hunting, big-time. 195 00:10:05,648 --> 00:10:09,235 - Hunting's so primal, almost sexual. - Totally. 196 00:10:09,318 --> 00:10:10,945 Yeah, I mean, I'd never bang an animal. 197 00:10:11,028 --> 00:10:12,071 You can hardly tell the difference 198 00:10:12,196 --> 00:10:13,281 between a boy or a girl, you know? 199 00:10:13,364 --> 00:10:14,782 But hunting's intense. 200 00:10:14,907 --> 00:10:16,284 You talking about hunting? 201 00:10:16,367 --> 00:10:17,910 I love hunting. I'm a master hunter. 202 00:10:18,786 --> 00:10:19,996 Did you say "masturbator"? 203 00:10:20,079 --> 00:10:22,748 I'm a decent batter. My cousin, Mose, that's a master batter. 204 00:10:23,040 --> 00:10:24,875 Why are you sitting down like that? 205 00:10:25,376 --> 00:10:27,003 Why is everyone else standing up? 206 00:10:27,086 --> 00:10:30,339 Okay, team, let's get back to work! Break's over. 207 00:10:32,258 --> 00:10:34,260 Wow. Are you that bored? 208 00:10:34,760 --> 00:10:37,430 It's just rum. I'm not bored. I'm a pirate. 209 00:10:37,638 --> 00:10:39,181 Is that another motto? 210 00:10:39,307 --> 00:10:40,850 It's whatever you want. 211 00:10:41,225 --> 00:10:42,226 Hmm. 212 00:10:42,435 --> 00:10:43,728 Or do you only drink with your kids? 213 00:10:43,894 --> 00:10:45,229 No, let's do it. 214 00:10:45,354 --> 00:10:46,439 Woah. That's healthy. 215 00:10:46,772 --> 00:10:48,941 I've spent so much of my life telling myself, 216 00:10:49,066 --> 00:10:51,235 "Please, don't end up like Stanley." 217 00:10:52,903 --> 00:10:56,407 And now I'm wondering if I even have what it takes. 218 00:10:57,283 --> 00:11:03,247 We have the Sabre pyramid, right? We've got a bunch of humans. 219 00:11:03,414 --> 00:11:06,417 You guys. Humans, pyramid. 220 00:11:06,709 --> 00:11:08,919 Human pyramid. Do you follow? 221 00:11:09,003 --> 00:11:11,756 It's a team-building exercise. 222 00:11:11,964 --> 00:11:13,424 You love it. Who's in? 223 00:11:14,925 --> 00:11:16,344 Tallahassee, let's go. 224 00:11:16,427 --> 00:11:17,511 Jim, are you in? 225 00:11:17,595 --> 00:11:18,929 Oh, I don't know. 226 00:11:19,055 --> 00:11:20,389 Sounds like a hoot. I'm in. 227 00:11:20,806 --> 00:11:23,267 All right. What the heck? Let's do it. 228 00:11:23,684 --> 00:11:25,686 This is great. This is going to be great. 229 00:11:25,770 --> 00:11:27,438 I feel like I'm in ancient Egypt. 230 00:11:28,356 --> 00:11:30,733 I'll be on top. That's the most important position. 231 00:11:30,816 --> 00:11:32,818 Dude, I think you have appendicitis. 232 00:11:33,235 --> 00:11:35,112 Dwight, why don't we just hold off 233 00:11:35,237 --> 00:11:37,114 with the human pyramids for a while? 234 00:11:37,198 --> 00:11:39,241 Everyone stop moving. Everyone stop wiggling. 235 00:11:39,325 --> 00:11:40,534 I feel like I'm going to vomit. 236 00:11:40,618 --> 00:11:42,745 Dude, don't you yak on me. This shirt is Van Heusen. 237 00:11:42,828 --> 00:11:43,913 Oh, stop moving. 238 00:11:44,455 --> 00:11:46,957 No one's moving. 239 00:11:50,461 --> 00:11:52,338 Arrest Jim. He poisoned me. 240 00:11:52,546 --> 00:11:55,216 What? No. No. It was not a poisoning. 241 00:11:55,299 --> 00:11:57,343 The one thing Pam made sure I knew, 242 00:11:57,468 --> 00:11:59,553 Florida's pretty loose with the death penalty. 243 00:11:59,720 --> 00:12:01,472 You need an operation. You have appendicitis. 244 00:12:01,555 --> 00:12:04,141 Oh! Who called it? Nothing but net. 245 00:12:04,225 --> 00:12:05,476 How long will he be gone? 246 00:12:05,601 --> 00:12:06,852 Two or three days. 247 00:12:07,436 --> 00:12:09,063 Don't remember me like this. 248 00:12:09,146 --> 00:12:11,732 Remember me as the man who pulled down the screen. 249 00:12:11,816 --> 00:12:12,900 Drama queen, am I right? 250 00:12:16,237 --> 00:12:18,656 Philip, if you're hearing this memo, 251 00:12:18,823 --> 00:12:21,242 that can only mean one thing, I am dead. 252 00:12:21,534 --> 00:12:26,247 You are the rightful heir to Schrute Farms. Please, you must do one thing. 253 00:12:26,330 --> 00:12:28,833 Kill Mose before he kills you. 254 00:12:32,711 --> 00:12:34,839 Mose. Hey, it's Dwight. 255 00:12:34,922 --> 00:12:36,507 Listen, yeah, I just want to give you a heads up. 256 00:12:36,590 --> 00:12:37,967 That was an interesting diversion. 257 00:12:38,092 --> 00:12:39,510 Should we get back to the meeting? 258 00:12:40,594 --> 00:12:42,388 Woah. Are those mini pizzas? 259 00:12:42,513 --> 00:12:44,640 Yeah. I figure if we keep things savory 260 00:12:44,765 --> 00:12:46,892 while Oscar's mouth is in canker country... 261 00:12:46,976 --> 00:12:49,228 I also have some bacon-wrapped dates on deck. 262 00:12:49,311 --> 00:12:53,399 Look at these little mini pizzas. Does this make me look huge? 263 00:12:54,525 --> 00:12:57,611 Hey, guys, look at me, I'm huge. 264 00:12:58,404 --> 00:13:00,990 Hey, Darryl, good news, your fax went through. 265 00:13:01,198 --> 00:13:03,534 On yeah. 266 00:13:03,617 --> 00:13:04,702 UP high. 267 00:13:04,869 --> 00:13:05,953 Yes, sir. Thanks. 268 00:13:06,203 --> 00:13:09,498 Dunder Mifflin, this is Andy. I put out some new magazines. Check it out. 269 00:13:09,623 --> 00:13:11,083 Ah, Dwell. 270 00:13:15,004 --> 00:13:17,882 I'm acting like I like Reception, and I'm a really good actor 271 00:13:17,965 --> 00:13:21,427 so people are actually buying that I actually like Reception. 272 00:13:21,510 --> 00:13:24,388 But I mean, seriously, Reception sucks. 273 00:13:24,722 --> 00:13:26,056 Ooh! There's the phone! 274 00:13:27,099 --> 00:13:28,559 I just got out of surgery. 275 00:13:29,351 --> 00:13:30,936 What's going on? Fill me in. 276 00:13:31,228 --> 00:13:34,231 Well, we broke into groups and the groups are giving presentations later. 277 00:13:34,565 --> 00:13:36,066 Who's doing the presentations? 278 00:13:36,567 --> 00:13:37,735 Packer's giving one. 279 00:13:37,985 --> 00:13:39,570 Jim will probably give ours, I guess. 280 00:13:39,695 --> 00:13:40,696 Damn it! 281 00:13:41,322 --> 00:13:43,657 Let's see. What else have you missed? 282 00:13:43,866 --> 00:13:46,035 Ryan switched his nametag to his pants, 283 00:13:46,118 --> 00:13:47,578 so now it's like if you wear yours 284 00:13:47,703 --> 00:13:49,121 on your shirt, you're a total dip. 285 00:13:49,205 --> 00:13:51,290 But if you switch, you're a copycat. 286 00:13:51,415 --> 00:13:53,542 But I think I figured out a solution. 287 00:13:54,710 --> 00:13:57,421 What else? My shoes are... 288 00:13:58,005 --> 00:14:00,257 ...features the tech support area. Bring in your product, 289 00:14:00,341 --> 00:14:02,843 a bunch of nerdy virgins fix it on the spot. 290 00:14:02,927 --> 00:14:04,261 Huge for building loyalty. 291 00:14:04,345 --> 00:14:06,096 Yes, that is a very good point. 292 00:14:06,180 --> 00:14:07,806 Yeah, Todd, decent idea. 293 00:14:08,557 --> 00:14:10,893 Obvious, but interesting. 294 00:14:11,018 --> 00:14:12,561 Dwight, are you all right? 295 00:14:12,686 --> 00:14:14,146 I'm great. How are you? 296 00:14:18,776 --> 00:14:19,777 Uh... 297 00:14:21,946 --> 00:14:23,447 What's our presentation about? 298 00:14:23,531 --> 00:14:24,657 Dwight, will you go back to the hospital? 299 00:14:24,740 --> 00:14:26,158 You were there for like three hours. 300 00:14:26,242 --> 00:14:27,785 I got the surgery. What else is there to do? 301 00:14:28,035 --> 00:14:29,787 Do 100 jumping jacks. No. I don't feel like it. 302 00:14:29,870 --> 00:14:31,080 You do 100 jumping jacks. 303 00:14:31,163 --> 00:14:32,331 I don't feel like it either. 304 00:14:32,581 --> 00:14:34,959 ...ninety-seven, 98, 99... 305 00:14:35,417 --> 00:14:36,710 I want the Vice Presidency. 306 00:14:36,794 --> 00:14:38,087 You haven't done any of the research. 307 00:14:38,170 --> 00:14:40,881 You're too slow. You're too small. Seabiscuit is a stupid name. 308 00:14:40,965 --> 00:14:42,633 You guys sound just like the enemies of Seabiscuit. 309 00:14:42,925 --> 00:14:44,176 I'm going to do it. 310 00:14:44,260 --> 00:14:45,761 Oh, let him do it. 311 00:14:46,887 --> 00:14:47,972 Stanley, are you listening to music? 312 00:14:48,138 --> 00:14:49,223 Yep. 313 00:14:50,307 --> 00:14:53,060 All right, who's ready for the next presentation? 314 00:14:53,394 --> 00:14:55,312 Oh... What is your topic? 315 00:14:56,355 --> 00:14:59,233 What is our topic? Oh, what a topic it is. Mmm-hmm. 316 00:14:59,441 --> 00:15:00,818 Retail consumer habits. 317 00:15:01,277 --> 00:15:02,861 Really? Okay. 318 00:15:03,153 --> 00:15:05,614 Retail consumer habits is... 319 00:15:08,325 --> 00:15:09,368 The only thing you need to know 320 00:15:09,451 --> 00:15:10,744 about retail consumer habits is that 321 00:15:10,828 --> 00:15:13,247 consumers are mindless lemmings. 322 00:15:13,330 --> 00:15:15,833 They just want to be told what to do. 323 00:15:17,751 --> 00:15:22,381 Fast-forward to today, and the retail consumer is independent, 324 00:15:22,673 --> 00:15:26,802 well-informed, super smart. Super smart. 325 00:15:27,511 --> 00:15:28,512 Okay. 326 00:15:30,931 --> 00:15:34,602 Shopping habits are both seasonal and cyclical. 327 00:15:34,685 --> 00:15:35,811 What does this mean? 328 00:15:35,894 --> 00:15:36,979 I can field this one. 329 00:15:37,104 --> 00:15:38,188 No, sit down. 330 00:15:38,272 --> 00:15:42,985 Seasonal, well, the Christmas shopping season is certainly a busy one. 331 00:15:43,068 --> 00:15:44,778 Back to school is as well, 332 00:15:44,862 --> 00:15:47,114 and in early summer it seems to slow down a bit. 333 00:15:47,197 --> 00:15:48,949 But shopping is also cyclical. 334 00:15:49,033 --> 00:15:53,287 The menstrual cycle determines every choice a woman makes. 335 00:15:53,704 --> 00:15:58,709 You see, during ovulation, a woman's only goal is to get pregnant. 336 00:15:58,917 --> 00:16:02,379 During menses, she is sad that she has failed. 337 00:16:02,504 --> 00:16:05,299 And how does the woman console herself? 338 00:16:05,382 --> 00:16:07,760 Shopping. Shopping. 339 00:16:07,843 --> 00:16:10,721 Just, Jim, could you fetch me some ice chips? 340 00:16:13,390 --> 00:16:17,978 Thank you. Just gonna take a brief pause at this point. 341 00:16:18,562 --> 00:16:19,563 Thank you. 342 00:16:21,065 --> 00:16:22,483 Oh, God. 343 00:16:25,527 --> 00:16:26,737 Next slide. 344 00:16:29,198 --> 00:16:30,824 Mail call! 345 00:16:30,908 --> 00:16:33,952 His name is Oscar, and he's got some mail 346 00:16:34,036 --> 00:16:37,998 And he better open it or go to jail, 'cause it's your taxes 347 00:16:38,082 --> 00:16:41,168 His name is Kevin, and no mail for him 348 00:16:41,251 --> 00:16:44,505 But he got a coupon for some frozen yogurt 349 00:16:45,923 --> 00:16:47,508 Are those the lyrics? 350 00:16:47,591 --> 00:16:49,426 "Anderson's Three Pillars of Retail." 351 00:16:49,510 --> 00:16:51,762 Crucial. So important. 352 00:16:54,098 --> 00:16:55,224 Next. 353 00:16:56,350 --> 00:16:57,810 Are there any questions? 354 00:16:58,435 --> 00:17:01,480 What are the Three Pillars of Retail? 355 00:17:03,732 --> 00:17:05,776 Convenience. Ingredients. 356 00:17:06,235 --> 00:17:07,861 Service. Burgers. 357 00:17:08,028 --> 00:17:09,029 Building loyalty. 358 00:17:09,154 --> 00:17:10,197 Killing royalty. 359 00:17:11,073 --> 00:17:12,491 But truth be told, we should really 360 00:17:12,574 --> 00:17:14,284 disregard Anderson's Three Pillars. 361 00:17:14,993 --> 00:17:17,246 He was later diagnosed with dementia. 362 00:17:17,746 --> 00:17:20,124 You know what is important? 363 00:17:20,207 --> 00:17:24,628 Is Dwight's pillars, and there's only one, desire. 364 00:17:25,170 --> 00:17:28,590 Do we have a desire to dominate the retail space? 365 00:17:28,674 --> 00:17:30,718 Not just succeed in it but to dominate. 366 00:17:30,801 --> 00:17:33,137 And looking around this room, I'm not so sure that we do. 367 00:17:33,220 --> 00:17:34,221 But we can get there. 368 00:17:34,304 --> 00:17:38,434 And I can lead us there, and that is all that matters. 369 00:17:38,642 --> 00:17:41,145 Very true. Where there's a will, there's a way. 370 00:17:41,228 --> 00:17:43,939 I once spent a passionate night 371 00:17:44,064 --> 00:17:46,734 with Hugh Grant's brother, John Grant. 372 00:17:46,817 --> 00:17:50,154 He's older than Hugh, just a little bit uglier. 373 00:17:50,320 --> 00:17:51,530 How did I pull that off? 374 00:17:51,989 --> 00:17:54,116 Sheer force of will. 375 00:17:54,199 --> 00:17:55,492 That is very good, Dwight. 376 00:17:55,743 --> 00:17:57,870 Thank you very much. Any other questions? 377 00:17:58,412 --> 00:17:59,913 Jim. 378 00:18:00,038 --> 00:18:01,540 You are bleeding through your shirt. 379 00:18:02,958 --> 00:18:03,959 Oops. 380 00:18:05,544 --> 00:18:08,839 That's embarrassing. Egg on my face. 381 00:18:10,674 --> 00:18:11,675 Ah... 382 00:18:13,469 --> 00:18:15,471 Hey, having fun? 383 00:18:15,596 --> 00:18:17,598 Yes, I am, as a matter of fact. 384 00:18:17,681 --> 00:18:20,517 Oh, I know how it is. I know it's a lot of fun. 385 00:18:20,601 --> 00:18:22,686 I don't know how it is. Andy, this is a lame job. 386 00:18:22,770 --> 00:18:24,146 What are you doing here? 387 00:18:25,147 --> 00:18:26,356 I found my calling. 388 00:18:26,648 --> 00:18:31,862 Andy, when I was 12 years old, we did a field trip, a lock-in at the zoo. 389 00:18:32,654 --> 00:18:37,576 I met this girl. I thought she was so perfect. I was in love with her. 390 00:18:38,202 --> 00:18:41,038 But when the sun came up, I knew it wasn't real 391 00:18:41,121 --> 00:18:44,249 because she was ugly and I had grown tired of her. 392 00:18:45,209 --> 00:18:46,710 I know you want Reception today, 393 00:18:46,877 --> 00:18:48,420 but tomorrow you won't want to do her. 394 00:18:48,504 --> 00:18:50,005 She's a dog. 395 00:18:50,923 --> 00:18:52,841 Guys, I don't like this analogy. 396 00:18:54,218 --> 00:18:56,512 Oh, fine. 397 00:19:02,643 --> 00:19:03,685 Did you see this? 398 00:19:03,769 --> 00:19:04,770 It's nice. 399 00:19:04,895 --> 00:19:05,938 I mean... 400 00:19:09,233 --> 00:19:10,442 How are you feeling? 401 00:19:10,567 --> 00:19:11,819 Amazing. 402 00:19:11,902 --> 00:19:13,403 Just lost four ounces of appendix, 403 00:19:13,529 --> 00:19:15,072 already replaced it with muscle. 404 00:19:15,531 --> 00:19:17,282 Can I see the wound? 405 00:19:22,746 --> 00:19:25,958 Oh, that's disgusting. That's barely healed. 406 00:19:26,041 --> 00:19:29,002 You're not paying me to heal. You're paying me to kick ass. 407 00:19:29,253 --> 00:19:33,757 A few hours ago, your body was open like a cabinet. 408 00:19:34,633 --> 00:19:36,134 That's right. That is amazing. 409 00:19:36,218 --> 00:19:37,469 Todd, look at that. 410 00:19:37,594 --> 00:19:38,846 Ch, yikes! 411 00:19:38,929 --> 00:19:40,055 Incoming. 412 00:19:40,180 --> 00:19:41,265 Not so fast. 413 00:19:41,348 --> 00:19:42,933 Would you come in early tomorrow, 414 00:19:43,016 --> 00:19:45,102 so we could talk about the store over breakfast? 415 00:19:45,519 --> 00:19:48,230 I feel you have a lot to offer. 416 00:19:48,355 --> 00:19:49,606 It would be an honor, ma'am. 417 00:19:49,690 --> 00:19:52,651 I'll go ahead and cancel my post-op checkup right now. 418 00:19:53,151 --> 00:19:54,444 I had two goals today, 419 00:19:54,528 --> 00:19:57,906 the first was to make myself the clear candidate for Vice President. 420 00:19:57,990 --> 00:20:00,659 I achieved that, no thanks to my appendix. 421 00:20:00,742 --> 00:20:03,620 The second was to find a memorable souvenir for Philip. 422 00:20:03,704 --> 00:20:06,957 For that, I do have to thank my appendix. 423 00:20:18,135 --> 00:20:19,887 Dunder Mifflin, how can I help you save money on paper? 424 00:20:19,970 --> 00:20:21,638 This is Andrew. 425 00:20:21,763 --> 00:20:23,390 Hi, Andrew. What happened to Erin? 426 00:20:23,473 --> 00:20:26,184 Oh, she's on an assignment in Florida for a couple weeks. 427 00:20:26,268 --> 00:20:28,395 Oh, good for her. She's such a sweetheart. 428 00:20:28,520 --> 00:20:30,689 You tell her Donna Moraski misses her. 429 00:20:30,772 --> 00:20:33,066 I miss her, too. 430 00:20:35,611 --> 00:20:37,738 Everyone, we have a very special guest. 431 00:20:37,821 --> 00:20:42,242 He turned an idea into a store, into hundreds of stores. 432 00:20:42,326 --> 00:20:46,413 I give you Wally Amos, founder of Famous Amos cookies. 433 00:20:46,496 --> 00:20:47,581 Yeah! 434 00:20:51,543 --> 00:20:53,337 So I hear you're all looking to 435 00:20:53,503 --> 00:20:55,339 bake up some dough in the sales game. 436 00:20:55,631 --> 00:20:58,425 Well, back when I was regular Amos... 437 00:20:58,508 --> 00:20:59,635 What's under the cloth? 438 00:20:59,718 --> 00:21:01,178 We'll get to that. 439 00:21:01,303 --> 00:21:02,763 Cookies. I bet you anything it's cookies. 440 00:21:03,180 --> 00:21:04,514 It's cookies. 441 00:21:04,598 --> 00:21:06,975 Let me finish my speech first. 442 00:21:07,184 --> 00:21:10,646 Oh, we get the gist. It's just success and effort, isn't it? 443 00:21:10,729 --> 00:21:13,565 So just don't be coy. Make with the cookies. 444 00:21:13,649 --> 00:21:16,526 Cookies. 445 00:21:18,195 --> 00:21:19,446 Famous, hi. 446 00:21:19,529 --> 00:21:22,157 I'm sure you get ideas for new cookies all the time. 447 00:21:22,240 --> 00:21:25,452 But I... Is it oatmeal with no raisins? 448 00:21:25,535 --> 00:21:26,662 I'm sorry to have wasted your time. 449 00:21:26,787 --> 00:21:27,871 That's okay. Thank you very much.