1 00:00:05,090 --> 00:00:06,383 This is Pam. 2 00:00:08,426 --> 00:00:12,138 Oh, my God, are you sure? Okay, okay, we'll be right there. 3 00:00:12,555 --> 00:00:14,015 Everybody! 4 00:00:14,099 --> 00:00:15,725 - The balloon is falling! - What? 5 00:00:16,768 --> 00:00:18,353 There's this balloon that has been floating 6 00:00:18,436 --> 00:00:20,355 in the rafters of the warehouse for, like, ever. 7 00:00:20,438 --> 00:00:21,481 And... 8 00:00:21,564 --> 00:00:24,442 Okay, it's not, it doesn't sound cool, you just have to see it. 9 00:00:27,028 --> 00:00:30,115 Well,I guess it doesn't look that cool either 10 00:00:30,365 --> 00:00:32,492 But it's been up there a long time, 11 00:00:32,575 --> 00:00:34,953 so it's become a pretty big deal. 12 00:00:36,788 --> 00:00:38,957 Wow. It's the end of an era. 13 00:00:39,457 --> 00:00:40,750 You did a good job, buddy. 14 00:00:41,251 --> 00:00:42,794 Now it's time to come home. 15 00:00:43,211 --> 00:00:47,215 I remember when that balloon went up there. I was still with Gil. 16 00:00:47,674 --> 00:00:49,259 We were so happy. 17 00:00:49,467 --> 00:00:52,637 When that went up there, I had hair like Rapunzel. 18 00:00:54,180 --> 00:00:56,599 How long do you think it's been up there, Kevin? 19 00:00:56,766 --> 00:01:00,812 I just remember pushing aside my silky bangs to say, 20 00:01:01,604 --> 00:01:03,148 "Look, a balloon." 21 00:01:03,523 --> 00:01:06,067 My Warcraft clan was still on speaking terms. 22 00:01:06,151 --> 00:01:08,236 My kid didn't have a face tattoo. 23 00:01:08,611 --> 00:01:10,739 I was still thinking of going back to school. 24 00:01:10,822 --> 00:01:12,991 And I was still just a paper salesman. 25 00:01:13,658 --> 00:01:17,412 This has been fun, Pam. Thanks for calling us all down here. 26 00:01:21,166 --> 00:01:24,294 Kill the balloon! Kill the balloon! 27 00:01:24,627 --> 00:01:27,756 Kill the balloon! Kill the balloon! 28 00:01:42,228 --> 00:01:43,313 Hey! 29 00:01:43,688 --> 00:01:45,899 So they accidentally gave us an extra egg sandwich this morning. 30 00:01:46,024 --> 00:01:48,067 - Who wants it? - Ooh! Right here. 31 00:01:48,151 --> 00:01:49,277 Right here! Pick me! 32 00:01:49,360 --> 00:01:51,070 Allow me to solve your problem then. 33 00:01:51,362 --> 00:01:52,489 Nellie. 34 00:01:52,572 --> 00:01:53,698 Mmm. 35 00:01:57,368 --> 00:01:59,370 Ugh! That is disgusting. 36 00:01:59,454 --> 00:02:02,499 Do you call that a King James breakfast pie? 37 00:02:02,707 --> 00:02:04,167 What brings you to town? 38 00:02:04,334 --> 00:02:09,297 Certainly not the Harry Houdini museum. What a nobody! 39 00:02:09,547 --> 00:02:12,300 "Oh, look, some Hungarian just found their way out of a sack, 40 00:02:12,383 --> 00:02:14,052 "let's build a shrine." 41 00:02:14,135 --> 00:02:15,303 No, I've come to work here. 42 00:02:15,553 --> 00:02:16,513 What? 43 00:02:16,596 --> 00:02:20,099 How could Robert transfer Nellie here after the Sabre store debacle? 44 00:02:20,183 --> 00:02:21,893 She stinks of failure. 45 00:02:21,976 --> 00:02:24,062 The fact that she could show her face around here 46 00:02:24,145 --> 00:02:25,688 is an embarrassment. 47 00:02:25,772 --> 00:02:28,775 I should know. I'm in an identical situation. 48 00:02:28,900 --> 00:02:32,070 Robert did say you'd be joining us. Welcome, I'm Tony. 49 00:02:32,987 --> 00:02:34,030 What? 50 00:02:34,155 --> 00:02:35,990 I said, "I'm Tony." 51 00:02:36,074 --> 00:02:38,868 Okay, I made a mistake. I thought it might go unnoticed. 52 00:02:39,619 --> 00:02:41,037 But, I'm Toby. 53 00:02:41,746 --> 00:02:43,248 You messed up saying your name? 54 00:02:43,331 --> 00:02:44,833 It happens, Okay? 55 00:02:45,250 --> 00:02:47,043 So let's just find an empty desk for you 56 00:02:47,126 --> 00:02:50,839 and I'm sure Robert will be with you as soon as he gets in. 57 00:02:50,922 --> 00:02:51,923 That one looks empty. 58 00:02:52,090 --> 00:02:53,550 No. It's Andy's office. 59 00:02:53,967 --> 00:02:55,760 Oh, is it? 60 00:02:56,761 --> 00:02:59,430 I have one simple philosophy in business, 61 00:02:59,514 --> 00:03:02,100 if the seat is open, the job is open. 62 00:03:02,183 --> 00:03:05,436 It's how I came to briefly race a Formula One car. 63 00:03:07,063 --> 00:03:09,649 The three slowest laps ever recorded. 64 00:03:12,694 --> 00:03:15,280 Another beautiful day in Tallahassee. 65 00:03:16,447 --> 00:03:17,532 Good morning, Alonzo! 66 00:03:17,615 --> 00:03:19,033 Good morning, Erin! 67 00:03:19,117 --> 00:03:21,744 How are you? How's your family doing? 68 00:03:23,079 --> 00:03:24,080 Bye. 69 00:03:24,622 --> 00:03:28,293 Look at this place. Five rooms and I get to clean them all. 70 00:03:28,376 --> 00:03:31,212 That's right. I'm a maid for an old lady. 71 00:03:31,296 --> 00:03:35,174 Her grandson's staying with us, too, because he ran out of money. 72 00:03:35,592 --> 00:03:38,011 Listen to me, bragging away. 73 00:03:40,471 --> 00:03:41,848 Robert Nellie. 74 00:03:41,931 --> 00:03:47,061 How are you adjusting to life in Scranton so far? 75 00:03:47,645 --> 00:03:50,982 So far, so good! The water pressure in the hotel is marvelous. 76 00:03:51,608 --> 00:03:56,905 It is astounding what a difference that can make, isn't it? 77 00:03:56,988 --> 00:03:57,989 Mmm-hmm. 78 00:03:58,072 --> 00:04:01,826 Now, let's find you something fun to do here, shall we? 79 00:04:01,951 --> 00:04:03,953 Oh, I've already found it. 80 00:04:04,037 --> 00:04:07,790 I am manager, a natural next step. It fits like a glove. 81 00:04:07,874 --> 00:04:09,375 We have a manager. 82 00:04:09,459 --> 00:04:12,795 Do you really? Because it is 10:00, 83 00:04:13,296 --> 00:04:14,756 I've been in this chair for an hour 84 00:04:14,839 --> 00:04:17,675 and no other manager has come and sat on my lap. 85 00:04:21,804 --> 00:04:24,724 Excuse me, has anyone seen Andy this morning? 86 00:04:25,642 --> 00:04:29,270 Yeah, that's weird. He's usually here by now. Right, guys? 87 00:04:30,521 --> 00:04:32,774 Hello? Andy, it's Robert. 88 00:04:32,857 --> 00:04:34,442 Why aren't you at work? 89 00:04:34,525 --> 00:04:37,779 Hey, Robert, I really wish I could come into work today 90 00:04:37,862 --> 00:04:39,364 but I'm super sick. 91 00:04:39,530 --> 00:04:42,283 I don't care. I don't care. 92 00:04:42,367 --> 00:04:44,702 Please come to work immediately. 93 00:04:45,078 --> 00:04:49,040 Okay, I'll try to come in, even though I'm really sick 94 00:04:51,334 --> 00:04:53,169 with the Florida flu! 95 00:04:55,088 --> 00:04:57,298 He just hung up on me mid-sentence. 96 00:04:57,382 --> 00:04:59,300 I'm in Florida to get Erin. 97 00:04:59,384 --> 00:05:00,969 As soon as I heard she wasn't coming back to Scranton, 98 00:05:01,052 --> 00:05:04,097 I jumped straight in my car and drove straight down until I hit the ocean. 99 00:05:04,180 --> 00:05:05,890 My heart is my map. 100 00:05:06,599 --> 00:05:09,727 Turns out Tallahassee is about two hundred miles inland, 101 00:05:09,852 --> 00:05:12,397 so I overshot a good amount. 102 00:05:12,480 --> 00:05:15,274 But still, not bad for a heart map, right? 103 00:05:17,902 --> 00:05:18,987 Ew. 104 00:05:20,530 --> 00:05:22,407 Thanks a lot, BP. 105 00:05:23,074 --> 00:05:25,868 Not much we can do about this until he gets here. 106 00:05:25,952 --> 00:05:27,203 Can't you do something about this? 107 00:05:27,578 --> 00:05:30,707 Sometimes the flowers arrange themselves, Jim. 108 00:05:33,918 --> 00:05:35,003 Right. 109 00:05:35,086 --> 00:05:38,047 What is going on, and where's Andy? 110 00:05:38,631 --> 00:05:40,466 And what is going on? 111 00:05:40,758 --> 00:05:42,885 Erin, you got a package! 112 00:05:43,428 --> 00:05:44,637 I'm in the bathroom! 113 00:05:44,762 --> 00:05:47,265 Where's the postage? I mean there's no shipping label. 114 00:05:47,348 --> 00:05:48,933 Did you wash your hands? 115 00:05:49,392 --> 00:05:50,601 Yes. 116 00:05:52,645 --> 00:05:56,441 Here I am, signed, sealed, delivered I'm yours 117 00:05:56,774 --> 00:05:58,192 Andy, what are you doing here? 118 00:05:58,443 --> 00:06:00,111 It's great to see you. 119 00:06:01,070 --> 00:06:02,071 Ah! 120 00:06:02,405 --> 00:06:06,701 Uh, I am here to take you back to Scranton 121 00:06:06,784 --> 00:06:09,871 because I love you and I want to be with you. 122 00:06:10,788 --> 00:06:11,831 Where's the ring? 123 00:06:12,040 --> 00:06:13,041 Hmm? 124 00:06:13,124 --> 00:06:14,667 Where's the ring, Lancelot? 125 00:06:15,001 --> 00:06:17,211 Would you guys mind if we talked privately for a second? 126 00:06:17,587 --> 00:06:19,422 Sorry, Glenn. 127 00:06:23,217 --> 00:06:24,218 Um. 128 00:06:24,302 --> 00:06:28,139 Andy, I am so happy to see you, 129 00:06:28,389 --> 00:06:30,183 but I'm not coming back with you. 130 00:06:30,892 --> 00:06:32,769 Why won't she go with him? 131 00:06:33,019 --> 00:06:36,647 I don't know. Maybe it's because he's not that handsome. 132 00:06:36,814 --> 00:06:37,815 Hey. 133 00:06:38,524 --> 00:06:39,692 Don't listen. 134 00:06:43,154 --> 00:06:45,782 So what is going on? 135 00:06:45,865 --> 00:06:48,576 That does seem to be the question, doesn't it? 136 00:06:48,993 --> 00:06:54,040 "Hey, this is messed up, bro. Who is this weird lady?" 137 00:06:54,665 --> 00:06:57,085 I know. It's a lot. 138 00:06:58,753 --> 00:07:01,339 So, who knows what's going on? Anyone? 139 00:07:01,672 --> 00:07:05,468 You, yes, wait. I am very good intuiting names. 140 00:07:06,010 --> 00:07:09,138 Is it Chumbo? 141 00:07:12,183 --> 00:07:15,478 I think it's a cross between "dumbo" and "jumbo," 142 00:07:15,561 --> 00:07:17,021 with a hint of "chubby." 143 00:07:18,147 --> 00:07:19,690 It's not a name. 144 00:07:20,108 --> 00:07:21,943 So no one can tell me what's going on? 145 00:07:22,026 --> 00:07:25,238 Well, let me illuminate things for you. 146 00:07:25,613 --> 00:07:27,490 We are getting to know each other. 147 00:07:28,032 --> 00:07:30,201 "But why, my lady?" 148 00:07:30,952 --> 00:07:33,704 Because I am your new manager. 149 00:07:35,164 --> 00:07:37,625 Robert, is Nellie our new manager? 150 00:07:38,042 --> 00:07:41,170 This is an odd situation. 151 00:07:41,254 --> 00:07:44,799 But it's very interesting how it's playing out. 152 00:07:45,299 --> 00:07:48,970 We live in this world of routines and rhythms. 153 00:07:49,053 --> 00:07:52,473 Kevin ate someone's lunch, Phyllis has a new necklace. 154 00:07:53,599 --> 00:07:55,268 Who is this woman? 155 00:07:55,893 --> 00:07:59,313 I came in here simply trying to get to know you, learn your names, 156 00:07:59,397 --> 00:08:01,607 maybe have someone teach me the company song. 157 00:08:01,858 --> 00:08:05,486 And what I got in return was nothing but disrespect. 158 00:08:05,570 --> 00:08:07,113 You leave me no choice 159 00:08:07,196 --> 00:08:08,990 but to get to know you in a more intimate way. 160 00:08:09,073 --> 00:08:10,324 Hot tub party? 161 00:08:10,408 --> 00:08:12,326 Performance reviews. 162 00:08:12,410 --> 00:08:15,079 How can you give us performance reviews if you don't know us? 163 00:08:15,246 --> 00:08:19,375 On first impressions, so I recommend smiling. 164 00:08:19,542 --> 00:08:21,627 It goes a long way with me. 165 00:08:23,963 --> 00:08:26,591 Erin, you really nailed the hotdogs today. 166 00:08:26,757 --> 00:08:30,386 Thanks. I've been reusing the hotdog water, so it gets more flavor. 167 00:08:30,469 --> 00:08:32,138 It's only going to keep getting better. 168 00:08:34,557 --> 00:08:38,060 So, Andrew, how does your skinny brunette girlfriend, Jessica, 169 00:08:38,144 --> 00:08:40,938 feel about you visiting your ex-girlfriend? 170 00:08:45,276 --> 00:08:48,196 Well, we're not really dating anymore, 171 00:08:48,446 --> 00:08:50,531 so basically, I mean I just have to 172 00:08:50,615 --> 00:08:52,658 cross a few t's and dot a few I's, you know. 173 00:08:53,576 --> 00:08:57,079 So you came to get me, but you still have a girlfriend. 174 00:08:57,580 --> 00:09:00,041 I think you should leave, young man. 175 00:09:00,124 --> 00:09:05,129 All right, technically yes. I am still technically dating Jessica. 176 00:09:05,379 --> 00:09:07,590 But when I realized that I wanted you back, 177 00:09:08,716 --> 00:09:10,635 I just jumped in a car and I drove down here 178 00:09:10,718 --> 00:09:12,970 and I didn't want to stop until I saw you. 179 00:09:14,096 --> 00:09:16,849 You didn't even stop to pee? Gross! 180 00:09:17,433 --> 00:09:18,392 Any luck? 181 00:09:18,476 --> 00:09:22,063 No, he just keeps letting all the calls go to voice-mail. 182 00:09:22,730 --> 00:09:25,650 Please leave a message 183 00:09:25,733 --> 00:09:28,903 for Andy Bernard Include your name... 184 00:09:30,154 --> 00:09:33,908 Oh, you're doing so good! Oh, my God, you're Superman over there. 185 00:09:35,117 --> 00:09:36,244 You should take it. 186 00:09:36,327 --> 00:09:39,080 It's probably your girlfriend wondering where you are. 187 00:09:39,163 --> 00:09:41,207 Nope. It's just work. Not important. 188 00:09:41,290 --> 00:09:43,125 You know I can really feel this in my quads. 189 00:09:43,209 --> 00:09:44,585 I can tell I'm getting stronger. 190 00:09:44,669 --> 00:09:48,089 You really wouldn't feel those kinds of results after one session. 191 00:09:48,214 --> 00:09:49,257 I don't know, it's... 192 00:09:50,424 --> 00:09:52,134 Just let it vibrate. It's fine. 193 00:09:52,218 --> 00:09:54,095 You could put it on silent. 194 00:09:54,178 --> 00:09:55,763 I don't think it does that. 195 00:09:55,846 --> 00:09:57,682 Just go to preferences, then click... 196 00:09:57,765 --> 00:09:58,808 Proctology. 197 00:09:59,183 --> 00:10:00,309 Andy? 198 00:10:00,935 --> 00:10:01,936 Jim? 199 00:10:02,019 --> 00:10:03,020 Andy, where are you? 200 00:10:04,772 --> 00:10:07,692 I'm home in bed. I've been in bed all day. 201 00:10:09,193 --> 00:10:11,112 I got the serious poops, man. 202 00:10:11,195 --> 00:10:14,615 He's here in Tallahassee, trying to turn my life upside down. 203 00:10:15,032 --> 00:10:17,034 What? You're in Florida ? 204 00:10:17,118 --> 00:10:19,328 Andy, Nellie Bertram's trying to take your job. 205 00:10:19,412 --> 00:10:20,663 What do you mean, take my job? 206 00:10:20,746 --> 00:10:22,039 Like, set up camp in your office 207 00:10:22,123 --> 00:10:23,165 and is calling herself the manager. 208 00:10:23,249 --> 00:10:24,542 Okay. 209 00:10:24,625 --> 00:10:26,961 Jim, I really appreciate you looking out for me 210 00:10:27,044 --> 00:10:29,714 but I'm not coming home without Erin. 211 00:10:29,880 --> 00:10:31,048 So, I'll talk to you later. 212 00:10:32,383 --> 00:10:33,509 Guys! 213 00:10:34,719 --> 00:10:37,179 We cannot do these performance reviews, okay? 214 00:10:37,263 --> 00:10:38,472 If we go into them, you're basically 215 00:10:38,556 --> 00:10:39,849 accepting Nellie as your manager. 216 00:10:39,932 --> 00:10:42,059 And trust me. You do not want her as your manager. 217 00:10:42,476 --> 00:10:43,519 Trust you? 218 00:10:43,602 --> 00:10:47,231 The way Pam trusted you to provide for her so she wouldn't have to work? 219 00:10:48,065 --> 00:10:49,317 I like working here. 220 00:10:49,400 --> 00:10:50,943 Dwight, should she be our manager? 221 00:10:51,444 --> 00:10:53,821 I wouldn't let her manage a celery farm. 222 00:10:53,904 --> 00:10:56,365 Those who can't farm, farm celery. 223 00:10:56,866 --> 00:10:59,869 And when was the last time Dwight and I agreed on anything ever? 224 00:11:01,078 --> 00:11:02,872 All right, let's get going. 225 00:11:02,955 --> 00:11:07,501 First up, it is the woman with the beautiful fingernails and the tiny feet. 226 00:11:07,960 --> 00:11:09,253 Phyllis. 227 00:11:10,921 --> 00:11:13,007 Nellie, I'm sorry, but I don't feel comfortable 228 00:11:13,090 --> 00:11:15,176 being evaluated by someone I don't know. 229 00:11:15,259 --> 00:11:16,344 Oh. 230 00:11:16,427 --> 00:11:19,680 Okay. I understand. Let me show you how these are going to go. 231 00:11:20,222 --> 00:11:21,182 Dwight. 232 00:11:21,265 --> 00:11:23,976 I refuse to be judged by someone that I do not respect. 233 00:11:24,060 --> 00:11:25,353 I lost respect for you in Florida. 234 00:11:25,436 --> 00:11:27,646 If it was up to me, you would be in jail forever. 235 00:11:27,730 --> 00:11:30,691 Dwight, I have completed your evaluation. 236 00:11:30,775 --> 00:11:31,859 You're getting a raise. 237 00:11:31,942 --> 00:11:32,985 What? 238 00:11:33,069 --> 00:11:37,907 Dwight, you carry this company on your massive shoulders. 239 00:11:37,990 --> 00:11:40,743 You are our Atlas 240 00:11:40,826 --> 00:11:43,579 and for that, do you not think you deserve a raise? 241 00:11:44,121 --> 00:11:45,873 There's no limit to what I think I deserve. 242 00:11:45,956 --> 00:11:46,957 Then you accept it? 243 00:11:47,375 --> 00:11:48,501 Five percent, no less! 244 00:11:48,626 --> 00:11:49,794 Absolutely not. 245 00:11:49,960 --> 00:11:51,087 Seven percent. 246 00:11:51,170 --> 00:11:52,505 Six percent! I know my worth. 247 00:11:53,130 --> 00:11:54,131 Raise isn't real. 248 00:11:54,256 --> 00:11:56,384 Money isn't real, ever since we got off the gold standard. 249 00:11:57,635 --> 00:11:59,720 So, Phyllis, now you know the rules of the game, 250 00:11:59,804 --> 00:12:03,682 do you care to have a go? I'm fairly certain you're going to like it. 251 00:12:04,475 --> 00:12:05,726 Phyllis. 252 00:12:06,352 --> 00:12:07,436 Pam. 253 00:12:10,106 --> 00:12:13,484 So, Phyllis, I have been very impressed with you. 254 00:12:14,318 --> 00:12:15,945 Really? Oh, yeah. 255 00:12:16,028 --> 00:12:18,989 The way you conquered your fear and came in here, 256 00:12:19,073 --> 00:12:21,033 and now the way you sit there. 257 00:12:23,035 --> 00:12:24,662 All very impressive! 258 00:12:26,622 --> 00:12:27,748 Um... 259 00:12:29,166 --> 00:12:32,169 Are you aware that Nellie is giving out raises? 260 00:12:33,003 --> 00:12:35,005 I am not. How? 261 00:12:35,923 --> 00:12:38,300 Yeah, she gave one to Dwight, Phyllis... 262 00:12:39,009 --> 00:12:40,594 Let me guess, you want one, too. 263 00:12:40,678 --> 00:12:42,721 Take the family to Disney Town. 264 00:12:42,930 --> 00:12:43,931 Land! World! 265 00:12:44,348 --> 00:12:46,809 It's not that I don't want... Well, yes, I guess I'd take a raise. 266 00:12:46,892 --> 00:12:48,269 That's not what I'm saying. That's not... Sorry. 267 00:12:48,352 --> 00:12:53,482 Jim, I told Andy to come in and yet he is still not in. 268 00:12:54,066 --> 00:12:59,321 By contrast, Nellie Bertram saw a vacuum and filled it. 269 00:12:59,864 --> 00:13:02,533 I make no mention of her business experience 270 00:13:02,616 --> 00:13:06,036 or her relationship with Jo Bennett, my boss. 271 00:13:06,162 --> 00:13:09,039 Jim, would you prefer a nature metaphor or a sexual metaphor? 272 00:13:09,123 --> 00:13:10,291 Oh, God, nature, please. 273 00:13:10,374 --> 00:13:12,334 When two animals are having sex, 274 00:13:12,418 --> 00:13:15,796 one of them is communicating a message to the other. 275 00:13:15,880 --> 00:13:18,048 Nothing is... This isn't very helpful. 276 00:13:18,424 --> 00:13:20,509 You're going to want to hear the sexual metaphor. 277 00:13:20,593 --> 00:13:21,594 Was that not the... 278 00:13:21,677 --> 00:13:25,014 All life is Sex. 279 00:13:25,598 --> 00:13:28,476 And all sex is competition. 280 00:13:28,642 --> 00:13:29,768 Mmm-hmm. 281 00:13:29,852 --> 00:13:31,812 And there are no rules to that game. 282 00:13:32,563 --> 00:13:34,523 That wasn't so perverted, now was it? 283 00:13:34,607 --> 00:13:36,233 Was that it? No, that wasn't bad. 284 00:13:36,317 --> 00:13:42,031 My point is there is one person in charge of every office in America. 285 00:13:42,114 --> 00:13:44,492 And that person is Charles Darwin. 286 00:13:44,575 --> 00:13:48,370 In the end, doesn't he decide who the manager is? 287 00:13:52,833 --> 00:13:55,586 No. I would have said no. 288 00:13:58,255 --> 00:14:01,300 Hmm. Let's see. Review, review, review! Yes, good stuff. 289 00:14:01,383 --> 00:14:02,718 Here you go, have a raise. 290 00:14:02,843 --> 00:14:04,178 Ch, great! 291 00:14:04,845 --> 00:14:07,973 I mean if we go in there and take these raises, what are we saying? 292 00:14:08,224 --> 00:14:11,227 That it's okay for someone to just take someone else's job? 293 00:14:11,310 --> 00:14:12,603 Shouldn't work like that. 294 00:14:12,895 --> 00:14:15,189 No, you know what? Nellie's right. 295 00:14:15,272 --> 00:14:17,525 That is exactly how it should work. 296 00:14:17,983 --> 00:14:20,027 Darryl, this office is mine now. 297 00:14:20,110 --> 00:14:21,070 No. Yes! 298 00:14:21,153 --> 00:14:22,238 No. Yes! 299 00:14:22,321 --> 00:14:23,322 No. Yes. 300 00:14:23,405 --> 00:14:25,449 No. Yes. 301 00:14:25,533 --> 00:14:29,161 Yes. Sorry, it's too late. I'm here. This is mine. Back off. 302 00:14:30,579 --> 00:14:31,872 Ow! Ow! 303 00:14:32,039 --> 00:14:35,459 Ow!Ow!Ow!Ow! 304 00:14:41,257 --> 00:14:43,551 Well fought! I accept the outcome. 305 00:14:47,221 --> 00:14:48,556 Touch me and I'll sue. 306 00:14:52,184 --> 00:14:53,852 I've heard that's amazing when it works. 307 00:14:53,978 --> 00:14:55,062 Yeah. If I had my own... 308 00:14:55,145 --> 00:14:56,605 Andy, I care about you and I think... 309 00:14:57,565 --> 00:14:58,566 Sorry. You go. 310 00:14:58,691 --> 00:14:59,692 No, go ahead. 311 00:14:59,775 --> 00:15:01,610 Well, I was just going to say that 312 00:15:01,694 --> 00:15:03,362 if I had my own fountain it would be two frogs 313 00:15:03,445 --> 00:15:05,447 and they're spitting into each other's mouth. 314 00:15:05,531 --> 00:15:08,325 It's just stupid. What were you going to say? 315 00:15:08,617 --> 00:15:10,202 Andy, you broke my heart. 316 00:15:10,953 --> 00:15:14,623 Do you know what it feels like to be constantly rejected by you 317 00:15:14,707 --> 00:15:18,210 and to have to watch you date someone else? 318 00:15:18,544 --> 00:15:19,920 You broke my heart, too. 319 00:15:20,004 --> 00:15:24,008 You broke my heart more recently and more often. 320 00:15:25,342 --> 00:15:29,054 And I think at some point in my head it just sort of clicked 321 00:15:29,138 --> 00:15:31,223 that we're not meant to be. 322 00:15:35,769 --> 00:15:39,315 I'm so sorry that we have not loved each other at the same time. 323 00:15:40,899 --> 00:15:42,109 I know. 324 00:15:59,251 --> 00:16:01,295 So, Pamela, I'm going to start this review 325 00:16:01,378 --> 00:16:03,422 not by telling you what you lack, 326 00:16:03,505 --> 00:16:06,550 but rather asking you what it is you want. 327 00:16:07,051 --> 00:16:09,094 Really? Okay, well! 328 00:16:09,553 --> 00:16:10,638 Um... 329 00:16:11,013 --> 00:16:16,310 I like consistency in the manager's position. No weird silent coups. 330 00:16:16,393 --> 00:16:17,686 Stuff like that, I'm easy. 331 00:16:17,770 --> 00:16:19,021 That's not really what you want. 332 00:16:19,104 --> 00:16:22,399 What you want is a good night's sleep, working mother of two. 333 00:16:22,483 --> 00:16:23,609 Whoa. 334 00:16:23,692 --> 00:16:27,780 That's kind of condescending. Would you say something like that to Jim? 335 00:16:27,863 --> 00:16:30,240 Does Jim have to breastfeed? 336 00:16:30,449 --> 00:16:34,370 Did Jim carry around those babies for, what is it, 12 months? 337 00:16:34,453 --> 00:16:36,246 Be honest. Does Jim really get up in the night? 338 00:16:36,664 --> 00:16:40,542 Well, I mean, the only reason he doesn't is because I'm breastfeeding 339 00:16:40,626 --> 00:16:42,503 and Philip doesn't like a bottle. 340 00:16:42,586 --> 00:16:44,421 You must be exhausted. 341 00:16:45,547 --> 00:16:46,590 Fancy a nap? 342 00:16:47,508 --> 00:16:48,509 No. 343 00:16:48,592 --> 00:16:50,386 Go on. Have a nap. 344 00:16:54,056 --> 00:16:56,183 Lie down right here. 345 00:16:57,267 --> 00:16:59,395 There's a blanket in here. 346 00:17:00,270 --> 00:17:02,481 I used it earlier myself. 347 00:17:02,564 --> 00:17:05,776 Dreamt I could breathe underwater like Jacques Cousteau. 348 00:17:09,571 --> 00:17:11,198 No one will know. 349 00:17:12,449 --> 00:17:14,118 I'll wake you up. 350 00:17:17,121 --> 00:17:20,124 When you wake up, you will earn more money. 351 00:17:22,042 --> 00:17:24,712 I think you're a witch. 352 00:17:25,295 --> 00:17:29,633 I think you're amazing. You know that, right? 353 00:17:31,635 --> 00:17:35,389 Go on. Say it, "I'm amazing." 354 00:17:36,557 --> 00:17:38,100 I'm amazing. 355 00:17:47,526 --> 00:17:50,863 Erin, I think you're making a big mistake right now. 356 00:17:52,030 --> 00:17:53,741 Andy is a nice boy. 357 00:17:53,907 --> 00:17:57,327 Really? Because you've been kind of a "B" to him all afternoon. 358 00:17:57,745 --> 00:18:00,873 I was protecting you because I thought he was no good. 359 00:18:01,248 --> 00:18:03,500 But I can tell you really like him. 360 00:18:03,876 --> 00:18:05,836 And he's willing to lose his job for you. 361 00:18:06,170 --> 00:18:08,464 In this economy, with Europe on the brink... 362 00:18:08,547 --> 00:18:10,883 Irene, what would you do without me? 363 00:18:10,966 --> 00:18:13,469 We're not your concern, sweetheart. 364 00:18:14,178 --> 00:18:16,764 Besides, Glenn's going to sue Home Depot. 365 00:18:16,889 --> 00:18:17,890 Why? 366 00:18:18,140 --> 00:18:21,435 He got his foreskin caught in some lawn furniture. 367 00:18:22,227 --> 00:18:24,271 Jim, time for your review. 368 00:18:24,354 --> 00:18:26,857 No, it's not, because you don't really work here. 369 00:18:27,024 --> 00:18:29,193 Why are you so staunchly defending 370 00:18:29,276 --> 00:18:31,612 your friend who has abandoned you? 371 00:18:32,029 --> 00:18:37,659 Wouldn't you rather come talk with me, maybe, definitely get a raise? 372 00:18:37,743 --> 00:18:38,786 See, that's the thing. 373 00:18:38,869 --> 00:18:40,496 I don't know if you can even give raises. 374 00:18:40,579 --> 00:18:44,500 Jim, have you ever heard of a character named Tinker Bell? 375 00:18:45,375 --> 00:18:47,211 Yes. I'm Tinker Bell. 376 00:18:47,878 --> 00:18:48,879 No. 377 00:18:49,213 --> 00:18:52,925 I'm a magical fairy who floated into your office 378 00:18:53,008 --> 00:18:58,680 to bring a little bit of magic into your lives, to give you all raises. 379 00:18:58,889 --> 00:19:00,516 And we are grateful. 380 00:19:00,599 --> 00:19:03,811 But here's the thing about Tinker Bell, Jim, 381 00:19:03,894 --> 00:19:08,106 everyone has to believe in her or she doesn't exist. 382 00:19:08,232 --> 00:19:09,942 And then she dies. She dies. 383 00:19:11,735 --> 00:19:15,823 Now who here believes in Tinker Bell? 384 00:19:16,490 --> 00:19:18,200 Let's see it. Show of hands! I do. 385 00:19:21,703 --> 00:19:22,704 Come on, everyone! 386 00:19:22,788 --> 00:19:24,081 All right, guys, stop! 387 00:19:24,164 --> 00:19:26,041 I already spent the money. How? 388 00:19:26,750 --> 00:19:28,544 Come on, Jim, you're killing her! 389 00:19:28,627 --> 00:19:29,670 We believe! 390 00:19:30,546 --> 00:19:32,089 We believe! 391 00:19:33,882 --> 00:19:36,301 Look at this wonderful recognition 392 00:19:36,385 --> 00:19:38,762 of Nellie's leadership. I believe! 393 00:19:46,103 --> 00:19:48,939 That did not go how I wanted it to. 394 00:19:50,440 --> 00:19:51,608 Ugh! 395 00:19:52,317 --> 00:19:55,237 I have a whole ton of Erin's favorite food for the drive back. 396 00:19:55,320 --> 00:19:56,947 Eggplant parm! 397 00:20:00,200 --> 00:20:02,953 It's biodegradable. Animals will eat it. 398 00:20:04,621 --> 00:20:06,790 Andy, Wait! Andy! 399 00:20:07,332 --> 00:20:09,251 Andy, wait! Andy, don't go! 400 00:20:09,334 --> 00:20:10,961 Andy, I love you! Stop! 401 00:20:12,087 --> 00:20:14,923 Oh. This is the wrong Prius. I don't love you. 402 00:20:15,215 --> 00:20:16,300 Erin! I'm sorry. 403 00:20:19,177 --> 00:20:20,554 Andy. 404 00:20:35,277 --> 00:20:36,528 Let's get out of here. 405 00:20:36,612 --> 00:20:37,571 Okay. Let's go. 406 00:20:37,654 --> 00:20:39,323 Wait, we have to go back and get your stuff. 407 00:20:39,406 --> 00:20:40,449 No, I don't have any stuff. 408 00:20:40,490 --> 00:20:42,326 Like your toothbrush and stuff. I don't have one. 409 00:20:42,451 --> 00:20:44,328 You don't have a toothbrush? No. 410 00:20:46,830 --> 00:20:48,248 How do you not have a toothbrush? 411 00:20:48,332 --> 00:20:50,083 I just, there's always one around. 412 00:20:50,167 --> 00:20:51,251 You just use whichever one is sitting there? 413 00:20:51,335 --> 00:20:52,294 I always find one. 414 00:20:52,377 --> 00:20:54,004 Have you ever heard of buying a toothbrush? 415 00:20:54,087 --> 00:20:56,882 Of course, I own my toothbrush. 416 00:20:58,800 --> 00:21:03,430 I grew up poor. I had little formal education, no real skills. 417 00:21:04,139 --> 00:21:05,766 I don't work especially hard 418 00:21:05,849 --> 00:21:09,436 and most of my ideas are either unoriginal or total crap. 419 00:21:09,519 --> 00:21:12,606 And yet, I walked right into a job 420 00:21:12,689 --> 00:21:15,484 for which I was ill-prepared, ill-suited, 421 00:21:15,692 --> 00:21:19,112 and somebody else already had, and I got it. 422 00:21:20,030 --> 00:21:23,325 If you ask me, that's the American dream right there. 423 00:21:23,867 --> 00:21:26,244 Anything can happen to anyone. 424 00:21:27,371 --> 00:21:29,039 It's just random.