1 00:00:01,586 --> 00:00:05,382 Phew! Wow. It is raining cats and dogs out there. 2 00:00:05,840 --> 00:00:07,217 Holy moly! 3 00:00:07,300 --> 00:00:10,553 Phyllis says the same 12 clichés every time it rains. 4 00:00:10,637 --> 00:00:14,557 So, I promised everyone that if she says them all by noon today, 5 00:00:14,641 --> 00:00:17,102 I will send out for hot chocolates. 6 00:00:17,477 --> 00:00:18,603 So how was the drive in? 7 00:00:18,728 --> 00:00:20,522 Nobody knows how to drive in the rain. 8 00:00:20,605 --> 00:00:21,940 You don't say? Yeah. 9 00:00:22,065 --> 00:00:25,443 You know the roads are actually the slickest in the first half hour? 10 00:00:26,903 --> 00:00:29,989 - I think it's the oil, it comes to the surface. - I agree. 11 00:00:30,949 --> 00:00:34,536 Ooh! The plants are gonna love this. Yeah. 12 00:00:39,666 --> 00:00:42,043 I actually sleep better when it's raining. 13 00:00:42,127 --> 00:00:43,294 Tell me about it. 14 00:00:43,712 --> 00:00:46,381 Time's almost up. How many are left? Just one. 15 00:00:46,464 --> 00:00:49,467 "This weather makes me want to stay at home, curled up with a good book." 16 00:00:51,302 --> 00:00:55,098 Phyllis, this rain, does it make you want to be doing something? 17 00:00:55,306 --> 00:00:56,766 What do you mean? 18 00:00:56,850 --> 00:01:00,353 You know, like, aren't some things just so nice and cozy in the rain? 19 00:01:00,437 --> 00:01:03,022 Hey, come on. Lots of things are cozy in the rain. 20 00:01:04,649 --> 00:01:06,735 And that's noon. Exactly! 21 00:01:07,819 --> 00:01:09,571 Sorry about that, everybody. 22 00:01:10,822 --> 00:01:12,949 Hey, Phyllis, would you like a hot chocolate? 23 00:01:13,032 --> 00:01:14,075 Ooh, I'd love one. 24 00:01:14,159 --> 00:01:16,661 I'm going out to get two hot chocolates. 25 00:01:20,915 --> 00:01:23,209 I mean, normally the rain would make me want to stay at home, 26 00:01:23,293 --> 00:01:24,627 curled up with a good book, 27 00:01:24,711 --> 00:01:27,213 but everybody's being so nice to me today. 28 00:01:27,297 --> 00:01:28,840 I'm really happy being here. 29 00:01:53,656 --> 00:01:56,951 My girlfriend's back and there's going to be trouble 30 00:01:57,035 --> 00:01:58,745 Hey, Ia, hey, Ia, his girlfriend's back 31 00:01:58,828 --> 00:02:00,789 Hey, Ia, hey, Ia, my girlfriend's back 32 00:02:02,081 --> 00:02:04,000 A month ago, I walked out of this office 33 00:02:04,083 --> 00:02:05,835 positive I was never coming back. 34 00:02:07,378 --> 00:02:08,797 I probably shouldn't have emailed everyone 35 00:02:08,880 --> 00:02:10,965 telling them exactly what I thought of them. 36 00:02:11,216 --> 00:02:13,092 Hey, Erin, thank you for the nice email. 37 00:02:13,968 --> 00:02:17,096 Yeah. I don't get emotional a lot, but that was... 38 00:02:18,473 --> 00:02:19,849 I'm just glad to know I had an impact. 39 00:02:20,475 --> 00:02:21,893 I meant every word. 40 00:02:22,811 --> 00:02:26,523 In other news, Erin and Andy are back together. 41 00:02:27,190 --> 00:02:29,150 Crazy story. Yes. 42 00:02:29,234 --> 00:02:32,153 I drove all the way down to Florida, she was not expecting it, 43 00:02:32,237 --> 00:02:34,072 totally swept her off her feet. Right? Yeah. 44 00:02:34,239 --> 00:02:35,240 How long was the drive? 45 00:02:35,490 --> 00:02:36,991 It's like a day and a half each way. 46 00:02:37,075 --> 00:02:40,453 But when I got there, I went right up to the house, and I was like... 47 00:02:40,578 --> 00:02:43,498 Day and a half? My lumbar would be killing me. 48 00:02:43,581 --> 00:02:47,377 You should get this lumbar support cushion thing my dad has. 49 00:02:47,460 --> 00:02:48,753 What's it called? Um... 50 00:02:49,754 --> 00:02:51,130 Not Easy-Rest. 51 00:02:51,422 --> 00:02:53,341 That gas must've cost a pretty penny, huh? 52 00:02:53,424 --> 00:02:54,634 Well, he's got a Prius. 53 00:02:54,759 --> 00:02:56,052 How many times you fill the tank? Three, four? 54 00:02:56,261 --> 00:02:58,179 What does gas cost down there? 55 00:02:58,263 --> 00:03:00,348 Lumbar Buddy! Lumbar Buddy. 56 00:03:00,431 --> 00:03:01,558 Oh, yeah, Lumbar Buddy. 57 00:03:01,641 --> 00:03:03,476 Tell you what, I'll email you the story. 58 00:03:03,560 --> 00:03:05,144 It's a real tearjerker, though. 59 00:03:05,228 --> 00:03:06,771 So read with caution. 60 00:03:07,105 --> 00:03:08,356 Anyway, I know it's the end of the day. 61 00:03:08,439 --> 00:03:09,816 We just wanted to stop by and say hi. 62 00:03:09,899 --> 00:03:12,402 And then later on, we have a reservation at Patsel's. 63 00:03:13,611 --> 00:03:14,779 Miss Lumbar! 64 00:03:15,655 --> 00:03:17,240 Hey, Kev. Yeah. 65 00:03:17,407 --> 00:03:19,951 Nice sweater. Thank you! 66 00:03:20,535 --> 00:03:23,121 Nellie was nice enough to give it to me. 67 00:03:23,705 --> 00:03:26,708 She's sweet. I just wish there was pockets. 68 00:03:28,501 --> 00:03:30,211 What happened to Old Salty? 69 00:03:30,295 --> 00:03:31,796 Nellie let me bobble-ize him. 70 00:03:31,880 --> 00:03:34,090 His name is now Captain Mutato. 71 00:03:35,133 --> 00:03:36,926 I've written quite a bit of X-Men fan fiction. 72 00:03:37,010 --> 00:03:39,762 Captain Mutato is half-man, half-mermaid. 73 00:03:39,846 --> 00:03:41,931 So he can fight crime as a man 74 00:03:42,015 --> 00:03:43,641 and make love as a mermaid. 75 00:03:44,601 --> 00:03:47,270 Most of my writing involves the latter. 76 00:03:52,984 --> 00:03:53,985 Okey-doke 77 00:03:56,905 --> 00:03:57,989 Yes? 78 00:04:00,241 --> 00:04:01,242 ANDY; Whoa! 79 00:04:03,328 --> 00:04:06,873 Well, you must be the famous Nellie Bertram I've been hearing all about. 80 00:04:06,998 --> 00:04:10,543 I am the famous Andy Bernard you have been hearing all about. 81 00:04:10,668 --> 00:04:12,420 Oh, yes. I just want to thank you 82 00:04:12,503 --> 00:04:15,423 for jumping in and minding the store 83 00:04:15,506 --> 00:04:16,883 during my temporary absence. 84 00:04:17,050 --> 00:04:19,260 You are most welcome. 85 00:04:19,469 --> 00:04:22,680 Anyway, now that I'm back, I would love to have my office back, 86 00:04:22,764 --> 00:04:24,807 whenever you get a chance. No. 87 00:04:25,642 --> 00:04:29,938 Obviously we'll figure out the logistics 88 00:04:30,021 --> 00:04:32,440 of moving all of this stuff out of here. 89 00:04:33,107 --> 00:04:36,569 But, you know, the sooner the better. Get back to normalcy. 90 00:04:36,903 --> 00:04:37,946 Mmm. No. 91 00:04:42,241 --> 00:04:43,242 Thank you. 92 00:04:44,535 --> 00:04:45,536 Okay. 93 00:04:45,620 --> 00:04:46,704 Wait. Uh... 94 00:04:46,955 --> 00:04:49,958 When I showed up here, there was no manager. 95 00:04:50,041 --> 00:04:52,085 It's like when the Americans showed up at the Moon. 96 00:04:52,168 --> 00:04:53,461 Nobody was there. 97 00:04:53,544 --> 00:04:55,046 So they planted their flag, 98 00:04:55,129 --> 00:04:56,756 and it's their moon now, isn't it? 99 00:04:57,298 --> 00:05:00,927 Nobody likes it, but it's America's bloody moon. 100 00:05:01,511 --> 00:05:04,347 Just lay him in his crib and then bicycle his legs. 101 00:05:04,430 --> 00:05:05,682 And then after Jim quiets down, 102 00:05:05,765 --> 00:05:07,141 you do the same thing with your baby. 103 00:05:09,143 --> 00:05:10,937 But if he keeps having problems, just give me a call. 104 00:05:11,020 --> 00:05:12,480 Oh, my gosh, thank you so much. 105 00:05:12,563 --> 00:05:13,773 But seriously, we don't want to bother you 106 00:05:13,898 --> 00:05:15,066 any more than we already have. That's it. 107 00:05:15,525 --> 00:05:16,943 It's no bother. You guys are our friends. 108 00:05:17,318 --> 00:05:19,070 Ravi, our amazing pediatrician, 109 00:05:19,153 --> 00:05:21,322 was asking us if we knew any girls, 110 00:05:21,406 --> 00:05:23,950 and I said, "I know the perfect girl." 111 00:05:24,033 --> 00:05:28,955 Yeah. Because Kelly is Indian and... Oh, that's it! 112 00:05:30,206 --> 00:05:32,583 Race had nothing to do with it. 113 00:05:32,667 --> 00:05:34,460 I just knew they'd be good together. 114 00:05:34,961 --> 00:05:35,962 Why? 115 00:05:36,045 --> 00:05:38,339 Kelly has been a handful in the past. 116 00:05:38,423 --> 00:05:39,841 But she's had a bad influence. 117 00:05:39,924 --> 00:05:42,927 She's like an addict, and I just had to get her clean. 118 00:05:43,886 --> 00:05:44,846 Get lower. 119 00:05:44,929 --> 00:05:47,432 Next, I'm going to set up my sister with Darryl. 120 00:05:47,515 --> 00:05:48,891 Okay, we get it. 121 00:05:48,933 --> 00:05:51,519 What? I think they'd be good together. Really? 122 00:05:54,897 --> 00:05:57,692 Um, also, little tip, never shake the baby. 123 00:05:59,152 --> 00:06:01,279 Sorry, just to be clear, you're saying do not shake the baby? 124 00:06:01,362 --> 00:06:02,447 Don't shake the baby. 125 00:06:02,530 --> 00:06:04,866 A lot of times parents get frustrated because the baby's crying, 126 00:06:04,949 --> 00:06:08,911 and they shake the baby, and you got to... 127 00:06:08,995 --> 00:06:09,996 You can't do that. 128 00:06:10,204 --> 00:06:11,789 Don't shake our baby. Yeah. 129 00:06:11,873 --> 00:06:13,499 Okay, I'd never heard that before. 130 00:06:13,624 --> 00:06:14,584 Oh, my God. So, thank you. 131 00:06:14,667 --> 00:06:16,669 Yeah, I'm glad you said something. Me, too. 132 00:06:17,545 --> 00:06:19,881 Kelly and I broke up, and she can do whatever she wants. 133 00:06:19,964 --> 00:06:22,091 And her new boyfriend seems awesome, 134 00:06:22,175 --> 00:06:24,010 if you're into Indian people. 135 00:06:24,385 --> 00:06:25,636 I'm not. 136 00:06:27,638 --> 00:06:29,057 And that's when I realized, 137 00:06:29,140 --> 00:06:31,017 if you're gonna put a thermometer in one end, 138 00:06:31,100 --> 00:06:33,311 you'd better put a lollipop in the other. 139 00:06:33,895 --> 00:06:36,564 Hey, I'm sorry. Is this a workplace or a Starbucks? 140 00:06:36,647 --> 00:06:39,317 Because I was under the impression it was a workplace. 141 00:06:39,400 --> 00:06:40,735 Maybe I'm the crazy one. 142 00:06:40,818 --> 00:06:42,987 No. No, we're sorry. Come on, let's go, Ravi. 143 00:06:43,071 --> 00:06:45,990 Also, since when do we have guests here without clearance? 144 00:06:46,074 --> 00:06:47,492 I didn't okay this. 145 00:06:49,327 --> 00:06:50,328 Hey, um... 146 00:06:51,120 --> 00:06:53,456 What's the deal with this guy? He's really into Kelly, huh? 147 00:06:54,082 --> 00:06:55,666 Yeah, they're really great together. 148 00:06:56,000 --> 00:06:57,251 Makes me wonder if I made a mistake. 149 00:06:57,335 --> 00:07:00,546 No, no, no. Come on. I think you guys are both happier now, right? 150 00:07:00,630 --> 00:07:03,049 You're single. Plenty of girls to date, right? 151 00:07:04,342 --> 00:07:05,343 Yeah. 152 00:07:06,052 --> 00:07:08,596 Maybe we weren't right together, but it's weird, 153 00:07:08,679 --> 00:07:12,266 I'd rather she be alone than with somebody. 154 00:07:13,184 --> 00:07:14,185 Is that love? 155 00:07:17,021 --> 00:07:18,898 That's about it, yeah. 156 00:07:21,275 --> 00:07:23,319 Well, Nellie picked up the slack around here 157 00:07:23,402 --> 00:07:26,280 while you were trolling the Florida beaches for tail 158 00:07:26,364 --> 00:07:28,366 like some college student on spring break. 159 00:07:29,867 --> 00:07:31,828 I had to tell Erin how I felt. 160 00:07:31,911 --> 00:07:33,871 Andy, I appreciate your romantic quest, 161 00:07:33,955 --> 00:07:36,707 and in an age before the telephone or Internet, 162 00:07:36,874 --> 00:07:39,085 or written language, that would be compelling. 163 00:07:39,168 --> 00:07:41,629 But there are five, six devices in this room alone 164 00:07:41,712 --> 00:07:44,382 that would have let you tell her that without ever going to Florida. 165 00:07:44,465 --> 00:07:47,260 We live in amazing times. 166 00:07:47,385 --> 00:07:49,428 Yeah, I know I screwed up. 167 00:07:50,346 --> 00:07:53,141 But I always do whatever you ask of me, 168 00:07:53,224 --> 00:07:55,518 and this will never happen again. 169 00:07:55,893 --> 00:07:58,896 And if Erin decides she's made a mistake and returns to Florida? 170 00:07:59,814 --> 00:08:03,568 At least she knows how I feel, and I would not follow her. 171 00:08:06,362 --> 00:08:10,366 What if she were kidnapped by a gang of Albanian human traffickers? 172 00:08:12,243 --> 00:08:13,452 Like in Taken? 173 00:08:13,703 --> 00:08:14,704 What? 174 00:08:15,079 --> 00:08:16,956 Yes, of course, if she's taken. 175 00:08:17,039 --> 00:08:19,167 That's what I'm talking about. By Albanians. 176 00:08:19,750 --> 00:08:21,335 I would stay in this office. 177 00:08:22,420 --> 00:08:25,089 Wow, okay. I'll remember you said that. 178 00:08:31,429 --> 00:08:32,847 Nellie, 179 00:08:34,307 --> 00:08:38,603 you've been terrific in your interim capacity, 180 00:08:38,728 --> 00:08:41,063 but Andrew is the rightful manager, 181 00:08:41,147 --> 00:08:43,941 so if you would just give him his office. 182 00:08:44,108 --> 00:08:45,985 No. I'm sorry? 183 00:08:47,278 --> 00:08:49,947 This is what I was trying to tell you. 184 00:08:51,032 --> 00:08:53,451 I'm not accustomed to people saying no to me. 185 00:08:53,534 --> 00:08:56,495 Well, Bobby, get accustomed to it, 186 00:08:56,579 --> 00:09:01,959 because then it feels so good when they finally say yes. 187 00:09:09,091 --> 00:09:11,677 You're both adults. I'm sure you can 188 00:09:13,679 --> 00:09:16,432 figure this out between yourselves. 189 00:09:19,560 --> 00:09:23,731 I never allow sexual desire to influence a business decision. 190 00:09:23,814 --> 00:09:28,194 So, I find it best to recuse myself temporarily 191 00:09:28,277 --> 00:09:29,904 until I've had a chance to make love, 192 00:09:30,029 --> 00:09:34,742 and then go back and analyze the situation rationally. 193 00:09:36,827 --> 00:09:39,538 Buffett operates the same way. 194 00:09:42,291 --> 00:09:44,085 I want to order the zebra rug for my office, 195 00:09:44,168 --> 00:09:46,170 but can you dye it entirely black? 196 00:09:48,005 --> 00:09:49,882 No, I still want it to be a zebra. 197 00:09:51,259 --> 00:09:52,510 Well, I'll know. 198 00:09:53,803 --> 00:09:55,846 Because they're ridiculous creatures. 199 00:09:56,472 --> 00:09:57,431 They don't know what they are. 200 00:09:57,515 --> 00:09:59,934 Phyllis says J. Duffy's might be more our speed. 201 00:10:00,017 --> 00:10:02,853 And if we want even the option of drawing on the placemats... 202 00:10:05,147 --> 00:10:07,316 I got a little bit of an anger problem. 203 00:10:08,150 --> 00:10:09,902 Got me in some trouble a couple years ago. 204 00:10:09,986 --> 00:10:11,696 When I see him start to get mad, 205 00:10:11,779 --> 00:10:15,324 I just put my hand on his arm like this. 206 00:10:16,909 --> 00:10:19,829 It reminds me to just check out and relax. 207 00:10:21,372 --> 00:10:24,875 There's also a lullaby they used to sing to me when I was growing up. 208 00:10:26,419 --> 00:10:30,339 The state of Pennsylvania is watching over you 209 00:10:30,756 --> 00:10:34,760 No need for parents, the governor will do 210 00:10:35,052 --> 00:10:36,304 It's really nice. 211 00:10:37,972 --> 00:10:41,976 The General Assembly's like a mom and a dad 212 00:10:46,230 --> 00:10:47,440 ...had 213 00:10:49,608 --> 00:10:52,361 I got a call about a trespasser. 214 00:10:52,903 --> 00:10:55,114 Yes. Right this way. 215 00:10:57,491 --> 00:11:01,996 Because they are idiots. Big, stripy, horsey idiots. 216 00:11:02,079 --> 00:11:04,290 What you don't... Hey! 217 00:11:04,498 --> 00:11:06,834 Hank, please remove Nellie from my office. 218 00:11:07,126 --> 00:11:08,169 Hank, thank God you're here. 219 00:11:08,252 --> 00:11:10,588 This psychopath keeps barging into my office. 220 00:11:10,671 --> 00:11:12,590 It's my office. 221 00:11:13,966 --> 00:11:16,677 Well, she's sitting there like a manager. 222 00:11:17,762 --> 00:11:19,513 And you're standing up here like me. 223 00:11:20,556 --> 00:11:23,768 But maybe it's a little more complicated than that. 224 00:11:30,149 --> 00:11:31,901 I'm going to count down from five, 225 00:11:31,984 --> 00:11:34,028 and if you're not out of my office, 226 00:11:34,111 --> 00:11:36,822 I'm going to dock your pay $100. 227 00:11:37,114 --> 00:11:39,283 Five, four... 228 00:11:39,367 --> 00:11:40,743 You can't dock my pay. 229 00:11:40,826 --> 00:11:42,536 I am your boss. 230 00:11:42,620 --> 00:11:44,538 Three, two, one. 231 00:11:44,622 --> 00:11:46,832 Congratulations, you just lost $100. 232 00:11:47,166 --> 00:11:48,167 Really? 233 00:11:49,126 --> 00:11:53,422 Angela, dock Andy's pay $100! 234 00:11:53,756 --> 00:11:54,924 On it! 235 00:11:55,549 --> 00:11:59,637 Great! Five, four, three, two, one. 236 00:12:00,596 --> 00:12:04,809 Angela, please dock Nellie's pay $100. 237 00:12:08,354 --> 00:12:09,355 Hmm? 238 00:12:09,814 --> 00:12:11,607 Is she responding? Hmm... 239 00:12:12,483 --> 00:12:14,652 Angela? Do you want to go again? 240 00:12:15,111 --> 00:12:16,654 Angela! Let's go again. 241 00:12:17,279 --> 00:12:19,490 Five, four, three, two, one. 242 00:12:19,573 --> 00:12:22,701 Oh, she's counting again. Look out. 243 00:12:22,785 --> 00:12:26,122 - Angela, $200! - Got it! 244 00:12:26,956 --> 00:12:28,332 Seriously, Angela? 245 00:12:28,416 --> 00:12:33,629 I know what, let's go $10,000. 246 00:12:33,838 --> 00:12:36,507 Five, four... You're just saying numbers. 247 00:12:36,590 --> 00:12:38,384 It's meaningless. Three... 248 00:12:38,467 --> 00:12:42,930 It's literally like... Two, one... 249 00:12:49,186 --> 00:12:50,521 I have to pee. 250 00:12:58,195 --> 00:13:00,030 There you go. 251 00:13:01,198 --> 00:13:03,701 Hey, we're going to have a nice hot date. 252 00:13:07,830 --> 00:13:09,248 What are you guys talking about? 253 00:13:09,331 --> 00:13:11,250 Charlie Rose. I don't know who that is. 254 00:13:11,333 --> 00:13:12,334 Guys. He has... 255 00:13:12,418 --> 00:13:13,961 Guys, come here. 256 00:13:16,630 --> 00:13:18,215 What are you... Come on! 257 00:13:21,302 --> 00:13:22,678 Where are we going? 258 00:13:23,596 --> 00:13:25,389 Okay. Do you guys want... 259 00:13:25,473 --> 00:13:27,391 Andy, you should not stand there. 260 00:13:27,475 --> 00:13:30,060 The warehouse guys pee there all the time. 261 00:13:31,437 --> 00:13:32,438 Ew. 262 00:13:34,190 --> 00:13:37,109 Okay. Do you guys want to be part of something huge? 263 00:13:37,234 --> 00:13:39,153 I'm already a member of the largest club there is. 264 00:13:39,236 --> 00:13:40,613 Non-churchgoing Christians. 265 00:13:42,865 --> 00:13:44,909 You remember in the movie Rudy, 266 00:13:44,992 --> 00:13:47,870 when the player comes into the coach's office 267 00:13:47,953 --> 00:13:49,872 and he throws his jersey down, and he's like, 268 00:13:49,955 --> 00:13:51,415 "I'm not playing without Rudy." 269 00:13:51,499 --> 00:13:53,876 And the coach is like, "One guy. No big deal." 270 00:13:53,959 --> 00:13:56,587 But then every player comes in, one by one, 271 00:13:56,712 --> 00:13:59,965 and they all throw their jerseys down for Rudy. Remember that? 272 00:14:00,090 --> 00:14:02,092 Yeah, I remember that. 273 00:14:02,176 --> 00:14:04,720 So, how amazing would it be 274 00:14:04,803 --> 00:14:07,848 if you guys all did that for me 275 00:14:08,432 --> 00:14:11,519 with your own brand new Dunder Mifflin jerseys? 276 00:14:12,144 --> 00:14:13,479 Hey, guys. 277 00:14:20,569 --> 00:14:23,072 Gross. Gross, gross. 278 00:14:23,155 --> 00:14:24,448 You don't need to go. 279 00:14:24,740 --> 00:14:26,575 I found these the other day while I was journaling, 280 00:14:26,659 --> 00:14:28,160 and they reminded me of you. 281 00:14:29,620 --> 00:14:30,996 Those are from our weekend at the time-share. 282 00:14:31,121 --> 00:14:32,957 Yeah, the fractional ownership property. 283 00:14:34,375 --> 00:14:36,460 We took this one right before we got in that huge fight. 284 00:14:37,503 --> 00:14:38,963 God, I don't even remember what that fight was about. 285 00:14:39,046 --> 00:14:40,047 You were being really bratty about 286 00:14:40,130 --> 00:14:41,215 where we would go out to dinner, 287 00:14:41,298 --> 00:14:45,678 but all I remember is how pretty you looked taking those pictures of me. 288 00:14:47,388 --> 00:14:49,515 Anyway, if you want to order prints of your own, 289 00:14:49,598 --> 00:14:51,058 I can send you the link. 290 00:14:51,141 --> 00:14:52,851 Yeah, that'd be cool. Thanks. 291 00:14:52,935 --> 00:14:54,019 I'd like that. 292 00:14:54,562 --> 00:14:57,064 You were so annoyed that I was taking that picture. 293 00:14:57,314 --> 00:14:59,024 Someone's into my abs. 294 00:15:03,654 --> 00:15:04,655 Sorry. 295 00:15:06,824 --> 00:15:08,617 You have doubles of this one, I could probably just take one. 296 00:15:08,701 --> 00:15:09,910 I really want both. 297 00:15:10,369 --> 00:15:13,664 I am seeing a side of Ryan that I have never seen 298 00:15:13,747 --> 00:15:15,416 since the last time we were broken up. 299 00:15:15,874 --> 00:15:18,168 I am in love with Kelly Kapoor. 300 00:15:18,419 --> 00:15:21,255 And I don't know how I'm going to feel tomorrow or the next day 301 00:15:21,338 --> 00:15:26,051 or the day after that, but I do know that right here, right now, 302 00:15:26,135 --> 00:15:30,014 all I can think about is spending the rest of my life with her. 303 00:15:31,682 --> 00:15:33,517 Again, that could change. 304 00:15:35,603 --> 00:15:39,189 Hey. So, last night was so not a big deal. 305 00:15:39,398 --> 00:15:40,816 Oh, yeah, I was just tired. 306 00:15:40,858 --> 00:15:42,067 We both were. Yeah. 307 00:15:42,151 --> 00:15:44,903 Plus I was definitely not my normal sexy self. 308 00:15:45,613 --> 00:15:48,907 No. Are you kidding? You were so sexy. 309 00:15:48,991 --> 00:15:52,536 Just the thought of you last night, like, crazy turns me on. 310 00:15:53,621 --> 00:15:57,041 It just didn't last night. But you were so dang doable. 311 00:15:57,458 --> 00:15:58,459 Even though we didn't do it. 312 00:15:58,584 --> 00:16:02,254 Well, it's not like we can't do it again when... Whenever you're ready. 313 00:16:03,297 --> 00:16:06,717 Uh, yeah. We are sexing it up tonight. I don't care what you say. 314 00:16:06,925 --> 00:16:09,553 No. It will be consensual. 315 00:16:10,095 --> 00:16:11,722 Whether you like it or not. 316 00:16:12,389 --> 00:16:15,017 Sounds good. I'm gonna do you. 317 00:16:15,100 --> 00:16:16,644 Not if I do you first. Oh. 318 00:16:19,063 --> 00:16:21,565 But really, it's not a big deal. 319 00:16:25,361 --> 00:16:29,531 Yeah. I know it's not a big deal. 320 00:16:33,827 --> 00:16:36,705 Oh, hey, instead of lunch, do you feel like going shopping? 321 00:16:37,665 --> 00:16:39,750 Are you serious? Yes. 322 00:16:40,793 --> 00:16:43,379 That would be... I can't... Can you believe this? 323 00:16:43,754 --> 00:16:45,214 Hey, can you believe it? Nope. 324 00:16:46,924 --> 00:16:47,925 Hmm. 325 00:16:48,634 --> 00:16:51,220 Oh, do you want that dress in every size and every color? 326 00:16:51,387 --> 00:16:52,680 Yeah, it's free returns. 327 00:16:54,515 --> 00:16:56,141 I saw you were getting along with Ryan again. 328 00:16:56,892 --> 00:17:00,270 He's so sweet. He pointed to my latte and he said, 329 00:17:00,354 --> 00:17:02,773 "Kelly, that would be the color of our children." 330 00:17:03,732 --> 00:17:05,818 God. Yeah, he's so great. 331 00:17:08,112 --> 00:17:10,447 Remember how it felt when he cheated on you, though? 332 00:17:10,864 --> 00:17:11,865 Which time? 333 00:17:14,451 --> 00:17:18,789 I am not going to let Kelly throw her life away on Ryan. 334 00:17:19,623 --> 00:17:23,168 And it has nothing to do with access to my pediatrician. 335 00:17:23,252 --> 00:17:25,629 Why you would even ask, or were going to ask. 336 00:17:25,713 --> 00:17:28,090 Because I feel like that question was coming. 337 00:17:28,173 --> 00:17:30,551 But, you know, whatever. Ask me anything. 338 00:17:30,843 --> 00:17:32,761 Yes? When you lost the manager job? 339 00:17:32,845 --> 00:17:36,348 ...did it affect you outside of the office? 340 00:17:36,473 --> 00:17:37,641 How? 341 00:17:38,058 --> 00:17:40,602 I don't know what the technical term is. 342 00:17:42,229 --> 00:17:45,733 Penial softy-osus. 343 00:17:48,986 --> 00:17:50,988 Erin, I am so glad that you trusted me. 344 00:17:51,321 --> 00:17:53,991 You came to the exact right person for this. 345 00:17:54,199 --> 00:17:57,453 No, I have never once experienced anything remotely like that. 346 00:17:57,786 --> 00:17:59,663 Ever, ever. Never! 347 00:18:03,751 --> 00:18:05,169 Okay? Okay, 348 00:18:06,253 --> 00:18:08,005 Washington Monument! Okay. 349 00:18:10,799 --> 00:18:12,301 Eiffel Tower! Okay. 350 00:18:13,343 --> 00:18:15,095 Colossus at Rhodes! 351 00:18:16,680 --> 00:18:19,433 Hey! I hear you've been badmouthing me to Kelly. 352 00:18:20,559 --> 00:18:22,936 All I did was remind her that you used to treat her badly. 353 00:18:23,020 --> 00:18:26,440 Well, that's your opinion and it's her opinion, but it's not my opinion. 354 00:18:26,523 --> 00:18:29,902 If you have something bad to say to me, Pam, say it to my face. 355 00:18:30,569 --> 00:18:31,820 Fair enough. Um... 356 00:18:34,907 --> 00:18:36,658 I don't think you're a very good person. 357 00:18:37,284 --> 00:18:39,995 And forgive me, but I feel like I've said this to you before. 358 00:18:40,078 --> 00:18:41,163 I don't like you very much. 359 00:18:41,246 --> 00:18:45,125 Well, a lot of people would say that I'm a better match for Kelly than Ravi is. 360 00:18:45,542 --> 00:18:49,379 Come on, Ryan, really? Ravi's way better. 361 00:18:50,339 --> 00:18:52,007 For Kelly? Yeah. 362 00:18:52,090 --> 00:18:55,969 Man, you're insane right now. Ravi's the whole package. 363 00:18:56,053 --> 00:18:58,305 I've never met Ravi, personally, 364 00:18:58,388 --> 00:18:59,932 but I'm going to go ahead and say 365 00:19:00,015 --> 00:19:02,684 just having known you a short while, Brian, 366 00:19:02,768 --> 00:19:07,064 that I prefer Ravi, and again, I've never even met the guy. 367 00:19:07,231 --> 00:19:10,192 Kelly, look around. Nobody believes in us. 368 00:19:10,567 --> 00:19:11,568 Nobody. 369 00:19:11,902 --> 00:19:14,738 Ryan, just stop making a scene in front of all my friends. 370 00:19:15,072 --> 00:19:18,075 Kelly, I wrote you the most amazing love poem. 371 00:19:18,784 --> 00:19:22,579 But I can't even read it. My heart couldn't handle it. 372 00:19:22,663 --> 00:19:24,748 Oh, come on... Oh, no, no, no, read it, please. 373 00:19:24,832 --> 00:19:26,458 I love amazing poetry. 374 00:19:26,542 --> 00:19:28,502 No, it would cause me too much pain. 375 00:19:28,585 --> 00:19:29,878 Read through the pain. Be strong. 376 00:19:29,962 --> 00:19:31,839 This poem would crush you. 377 00:19:31,922 --> 00:19:35,008 God, Ryan, go away! She found herself a beautiful boyfriend. 378 00:19:35,092 --> 00:19:37,970 Yeah, man, he's absolutely gorgeous. 379 00:19:38,053 --> 00:19:39,346 Please leave her alone. 380 00:19:39,429 --> 00:19:42,307 You see, Kelly? Our love scares them. 381 00:19:42,391 --> 00:19:45,102 It screws up their cookie cutter world! 382 00:19:50,899 --> 00:19:52,651 Do you guys think he's right, though? 383 00:19:54,444 --> 00:19:56,864 Do we live in a cookie cutter's world? 384 00:19:56,947 --> 00:19:59,700 Absolutely, but it's not the point. God. 385 00:20:01,243 --> 00:20:04,788 One of Toby's eyes is getting smaller. So there's that. 386 00:20:05,789 --> 00:20:09,167 Gabe bragged about having an extra ticket to the air show this weekend 387 00:20:09,251 --> 00:20:12,880 and Meredith said she was interested, and then Gabe said immediately 388 00:20:12,963 --> 00:20:15,257 that his friend might be taking the ticket, 389 00:20:15,340 --> 00:20:17,885 so I'll keep you posted on that. 390 00:20:18,176 --> 00:20:20,721 Every day, I brief Nellie on what's going on in the office. 391 00:20:20,804 --> 00:20:21,889 Most of it's irrelevant. 392 00:20:21,972 --> 00:20:24,474 But a good informer doesn't judge what's worth passing on. 393 00:20:24,808 --> 00:20:26,643 Oh, and Andy lost his masculinity, 394 00:20:26,727 --> 00:20:27,895 so congratulations on that. 395 00:20:28,228 --> 00:20:29,229 What do you mean? 396 00:20:29,438 --> 00:20:30,898 Erin made it clear to me that he was unable 397 00:20:30,981 --> 00:20:32,399 to perform sexually last night. 398 00:20:32,482 --> 00:20:34,526 By contrast, I went to sleep with an erection so large 399 00:20:34,610 --> 00:20:36,320 it was like I was wearing no blanket at all. 400 00:20:37,195 --> 00:20:40,490 I knew you'd win, but you just demolished him! 401 00:20:41,283 --> 00:20:42,743 I'm little bit jealous, actually. 402 00:20:42,826 --> 00:20:44,995 Reduced him to a mere ant! 403 00:20:45,329 --> 00:20:48,749 I just wanted to take the man's job, not his manhood. 404 00:20:49,583 --> 00:20:51,460 Are we good? Everybody got a jersey? 405 00:20:51,919 --> 00:20:54,588 I still think it's weird that we're just doing Rudy. 406 00:20:54,671 --> 00:20:57,382 Like, not a spin on it, we're just doing it. 407 00:20:57,466 --> 00:21:00,177 What about The Dead Poets Society? Much better movie. 408 00:21:00,344 --> 00:21:03,013 What? Get your movie rankings right, dude. 409 00:21:03,096 --> 00:21:04,806 Why can't we just do whatever movie we want? 410 00:21:04,890 --> 00:21:06,183 'Cause I was gonna do a Spartacus. 411 00:21:06,266 --> 00:21:07,643 Oh, I wanna do a Spartacus. 412 00:21:07,726 --> 00:21:08,894 I am Spartacus! 413 00:21:08,977 --> 00:21:10,437 No, I am Spartacus! 414 00:21:10,854 --> 00:21:14,149 Hey, guys, we're doing Rudy, okay? So get ready. 415 00:21:14,274 --> 00:21:17,110 Okay, I would like to invite everyone into the conference room. 416 00:21:17,194 --> 00:21:19,279 Sure. But first, there is something... 417 00:21:19,363 --> 00:21:21,281 No, that's not important. Conference room, now. 418 00:21:21,406 --> 00:21:23,867 You can't call a meeting, so... 419 00:21:25,452 --> 00:21:26,954 But I would like to have a meeting 420 00:21:27,037 --> 00:21:28,205 in the conference room right now, 421 00:21:28,288 --> 00:21:30,832 so come on, guys, let's get in the conference room. 422 00:21:30,916 --> 00:21:32,209 Thank you. Good! 423 00:21:32,709 --> 00:21:34,378 Thank you for coming to my meeting. 424 00:21:34,461 --> 00:21:35,462 Appreciate it. 425 00:21:36,171 --> 00:21:39,007 Okay, if you would like to take a seat, we can get started. 426 00:21:39,174 --> 00:21:41,385 Can't do it because I got to run a meeting, so... 427 00:21:41,718 --> 00:21:45,555 Wanted to talk to all of you guys about importance 428 00:21:46,556 --> 00:21:52,729 and know that each and every one of you is vitally important. 429 00:21:52,813 --> 00:21:57,150 Andrew, not everyone here is important. And the word is "impotence." 430 00:21:57,317 --> 00:22:00,737 Which is important in its own way, 431 00:22:00,821 --> 00:22:02,280 so if you'd just like to take a seat, Andy. 432 00:22:02,531 --> 00:22:04,992 Take a man's job, but leave him his balls. 433 00:22:05,075 --> 00:22:07,411 Margaret Thatcher said that, probably. 434 00:22:07,744 --> 00:22:09,913 Don't know. Don't read. Didn't see the movie. 435 00:22:10,414 --> 00:22:12,833 So, Nellie wanted to have a meeting on impotence. 436 00:22:12,916 --> 00:22:15,127 I told her she would have to run it, as impotence is a concept 437 00:22:15,210 --> 00:22:17,087 as foreign to me as baba ghanoush. 438 00:22:19,006 --> 00:22:20,674 Something to do with eggplant. 439 00:22:21,925 --> 00:22:23,010 That's all I know. 440 00:22:23,885 --> 00:22:27,723 This meeting is not about any one person in particular. 441 00:22:27,806 --> 00:22:30,559 It is a human problem. It's not just a human problem. 442 00:22:30,892 --> 00:22:32,853 Flounders frequently experience impotence, 443 00:22:32,936 --> 00:22:34,646 especially when converting from male to female 444 00:22:34,771 --> 00:22:36,690 - and then back again to male. - Really? 445 00:22:36,773 --> 00:22:40,485 Nellie, does the "person" affected by this want us to help her 446 00:22:40,610 --> 00:22:41,862 in any way in particular? 447 00:22:41,945 --> 00:22:42,988 Oh! Oh! 448 00:22:43,071 --> 00:22:44,740 It's not me. No, no! 449 00:22:44,823 --> 00:22:47,200 I've never had any problem in that arena. 450 00:22:47,284 --> 00:22:49,911 And I have been with several older men. 451 00:22:50,120 --> 00:22:51,079 How old? How old? 452 00:22:51,163 --> 00:22:52,497 Jinx, buy me some Coke. 453 00:22:52,789 --> 00:22:54,458 Dwight told me about it earlier. 454 00:22:54,833 --> 00:22:56,126 Dwight? 455 00:22:57,002 --> 00:22:58,003 You promised. 456 00:22:58,086 --> 00:22:59,838 Dwight couldn't get it up for Nellie? 457 00:22:59,921 --> 00:23:02,215 No,no,no,no,no, it's not me. 458 00:23:02,632 --> 00:23:04,885 I'm going to prove it right here and now. 459 00:23:05,469 --> 00:23:08,221 What are you doing? Stop that, Dwight! 460 00:23:08,764 --> 00:23:10,140 Stop that, stop it! 461 00:23:11,308 --> 00:23:15,312 Fine, it was me. I couldn't... I had a problem with Erin last night. 462 00:23:15,395 --> 00:23:16,563 Happy? 463 00:23:16,730 --> 00:23:20,901 I had a lot on my mind last night, and I didn't perform. 464 00:23:21,943 --> 00:23:23,862 Okay, it happens to plenty of guys. 465 00:23:24,696 --> 00:23:29,284 It's usually not followed by a giant workplace discussion and an interview. 466 00:23:30,911 --> 00:23:36,541 Every guy in this room has been touched by this affliction. Tuna? 467 00:23:36,917 --> 00:23:38,168 D-Dog! 468 00:23:38,251 --> 00:23:39,252 Um... 469 00:23:39,920 --> 00:23:40,921 Um... 470 00:23:41,922 --> 00:23:44,382 I have other issues. 471 00:23:44,466 --> 00:23:47,511 I'm terrible at math, overweight. 472 00:23:47,719 --> 00:23:51,890 You're in great shape. A lot better shape than I am, tell you what. 473 00:23:52,140 --> 00:23:55,685 It seems Andy is the only one with this problem. 474 00:23:55,769 --> 00:23:57,229 Fascinating. Fascinating. 475 00:23:57,312 --> 00:24:00,357 I don't really see what the problem is. Erin doesn't even like sex. 476 00:24:00,440 --> 00:24:03,026 Remember? You said it feels like getting tackled by a skeleton. 477 00:24:03,527 --> 00:24:06,613 Chumbo, come on, help me out. Any problems with Little Chumbo? 478 00:24:06,863 --> 00:24:08,031 Tip Top shape! 479 00:24:08,907 --> 00:24:11,368 Stanley. No. Mmm-mmm. 480 00:24:11,660 --> 00:24:13,787 Creed, you are 1,000 years old. 481 00:24:14,162 --> 00:24:16,623 Haven't heard any complaints. Wouldn't care if I did. 482 00:24:17,124 --> 00:24:18,208 Okay, so... Actually, Andy, 483 00:24:18,333 --> 00:24:21,128 I think maybe we've experienced it. 484 00:24:21,211 --> 00:24:22,212 What happened? 485 00:24:22,838 --> 00:24:25,465 A couple of times. A couple of times? 486 00:24:25,549 --> 00:24:28,176 Jim, maybe you could tell us about one of those times. 487 00:24:28,260 --> 00:24:29,553 - Yeah. Get it out there. - Yeah, Jim. 488 00:24:29,678 --> 00:24:30,679 Um... 489 00:24:31,054 --> 00:24:32,264 I don't... 490 00:24:33,974 --> 00:24:37,435 Uh, yes, that time that it was very late. 491 00:24:37,894 --> 00:24:38,937 Uh... 492 00:24:39,020 --> 00:24:42,858 We had had sex so many times already, I was exhausted. 493 00:24:42,983 --> 00:24:44,860 Okay, stop. I could barely see. I was very drunk. 494 00:24:44,985 --> 00:24:46,570 If it makes you feel any better, 495 00:24:46,653 --> 00:24:49,489 I never had an orgasm until I was 42. 496 00:24:49,698 --> 00:24:53,368 And then when I did, it lasted until I was 44. 497 00:24:53,827 --> 00:24:55,787 Forty-three was just... 498 00:24:57,080 --> 00:24:58,832 I got nothing done. 499 00:24:59,583 --> 00:25:02,169 I've read, and I don't know anything about this personally, 500 00:25:02,252 --> 00:25:04,421 but they say prostate stimulation can help. 501 00:25:04,504 --> 00:25:05,505 Ugh. 502 00:25:05,589 --> 00:25:07,507 This is just a This American Life I think I heard. 503 00:25:07,632 --> 00:25:10,010 No, that's absolutely the case. I know, right? 504 00:25:10,093 --> 00:25:13,972 You know my rectal electro-ejaculator is rated for bovine use only, 505 00:25:14,055 --> 00:25:15,056 but I could let you rent it. 506 00:25:15,765 --> 00:25:19,728 Andy, why don't you tell us about the best erection of your life? 507 00:25:19,936 --> 00:25:24,107 Or does anyone else have any remarkable erections they'd like to share? 508 00:25:24,232 --> 00:25:25,358 Wow. Oh! What are we talking about? 509 00:25:25,442 --> 00:25:27,360 Toby, doesn't HR have some rules 510 00:25:27,444 --> 00:25:28,820 against talking about this kind of stuff? 511 00:25:29,321 --> 00:25:32,574 Erin, HR is a joke. I can't do anything about anything. 512 00:25:32,657 --> 00:25:36,661 The most important thing to remember is do not stress about this. 513 00:25:36,745 --> 00:25:39,122 Stress just makes it worse 514 00:25:39,206 --> 00:25:42,500 and then you stress more, and that's a vicious spiral. 515 00:25:43,376 --> 00:25:45,587 I almost didn't come in today. 516 00:25:47,464 --> 00:25:48,924 Dad, don't think of it as a demotion, 517 00:25:49,007 --> 00:25:51,509 just think of it as a promotion to a lower level. 518 00:25:51,927 --> 00:25:54,262 I don't think you have to tell your friends anything. 519 00:25:54,346 --> 00:25:55,680 It hasn't been decided yet. 520 00:25:55,764 --> 00:25:58,600 Erin, on the phone memos, you're writing the date American style. 521 00:25:58,683 --> 00:26:01,895 Month, day, year. I prefer it day, month, year. 522 00:26:01,978 --> 00:26:03,313 Small, bigger, biggest! 523 00:26:03,396 --> 00:26:04,397 Oh! 524 00:26:04,481 --> 00:26:06,524 Sexual innuendo not intentional. 525 00:26:06,983 --> 00:26:09,819 Shut up. Shut up, liar! 526 00:26:10,445 --> 00:26:14,157 "Sexual innuendo not intentional!" 527 00:26:14,366 --> 00:26:17,494 I am sick of your dumb opinions 528 00:26:17,744 --> 00:26:21,706 and if you don't like the way that I take phone messages, here! 529 00:26:22,457 --> 00:26:23,541 Take them yourself! 530 00:26:25,961 --> 00:26:29,256 Our sex life is none of anyone's business! 531 00:26:29,381 --> 00:26:32,842 And Andy is the manager! Not Nellie! 532 00:26:33,093 --> 00:26:36,137 Stop protecting me! I'm a man! I can protect myself! 533 00:26:36,221 --> 00:26:37,764 This is misdirected anger and I'm sorry! 534 00:26:37,847 --> 00:26:38,932 I don't mean to lash out at you! 535 00:26:39,015 --> 00:26:41,268 There's a lot coming up right now all at once! 536 00:26:41,351 --> 00:26:43,353 Dad, go to hell! I'm taller than you! 537 00:26:43,478 --> 00:26:45,313 Okay, just calm down. 538 00:26:45,689 --> 00:26:48,483 You are not the manager. I earned that job! 539 00:26:48,858 --> 00:26:51,278 I was personally chosen after Robert was chosen and quit! 540 00:26:51,653 --> 00:26:53,238 Andy, why don't you just take a seat? 541 00:26:53,363 --> 00:26:55,156 Why don't you take a seat, idiot? 542 00:26:56,157 --> 00:26:58,702 Why don't you take all your stupid memos? 543 00:26:58,868 --> 00:27:01,955 And your stupid pens and your dumb caramels! 544 00:27:02,414 --> 00:27:04,416 And your stupid face! 545 00:27:05,250 --> 00:27:07,085 And your stupid office! 546 00:27:07,961 --> 00:27:08,962 Ah! OW. 547 00:27:13,008 --> 00:27:15,093 He does not like that wall. 548 00:27:18,596 --> 00:27:21,808 Maybe we'll get sent to anger management together. 549 00:27:23,560 --> 00:27:27,063 That would actually be cool. I'd love for you to meet some of the guys. 550 00:27:31,693 --> 00:27:33,903 Andy, Erin, you can join us now. 551 00:27:48,209 --> 00:27:49,919 What do you like about Ryan? 552 00:27:50,337 --> 00:27:53,631 Ryan keeps up with all the latest technology trends. 553 00:27:53,715 --> 00:27:56,593 And he's very honest with me about when I put on weight. 554 00:27:57,761 --> 00:28:00,472 And he has the soul and the body of a poet. 555 00:28:00,764 --> 00:28:01,765 Mmm. 556 00:28:01,848 --> 00:28:02,932 Ravi's hotter. 557 00:28:03,475 --> 00:28:05,560 I mean, I'm a straight man, and looks are subjective, 558 00:28:05,643 --> 00:28:07,479 but there's no question about it. 559 00:28:07,937 --> 00:28:09,064 Yeah, but I'm just worried 560 00:28:09,147 --> 00:28:10,273 that I'm only attracted to Ravi 561 00:28:10,357 --> 00:28:13,318 because he looks exactly like this Calvin Klein model that I'm attracted to. 562 00:28:13,443 --> 00:28:14,694 Who cares? That's fine. 563 00:28:14,778 --> 00:28:17,280 When I was your age, I had to choose between a Ryan and a Ravi, 564 00:28:17,364 --> 00:28:18,740 and I chose the Ryan. 565 00:28:20,075 --> 00:28:22,118 And if I hadn't, I wouldn't have my kids. 566 00:28:23,828 --> 00:28:25,121 You'd still have kids. 567 00:28:26,831 --> 00:28:28,583 Better kids. You've got to go with Ravi. 568 00:28:29,209 --> 00:28:32,796 Here's my advice. Figure out what your heart wants. 569 00:28:32,879 --> 00:28:35,799 And if it's not Ravi, change it. To Ravi. 570 00:28:41,179 --> 00:28:43,848 I don't understand why this is a dilemma for you. 571 00:28:44,849 --> 00:28:46,768 He has, like, this je ne sais quoi. 572 00:28:48,353 --> 00:28:49,479 He taught me that. 573 00:28:52,315 --> 00:28:54,275 Ravi makes me incredibly happy. 574 00:28:54,359 --> 00:28:56,903 And Ryan puts me through so much drama. 575 00:28:56,986 --> 00:28:58,279 So I guess I just have to decide 576 00:28:58,363 --> 00:29:00,990 which of those is more important to me. 577 00:29:01,908 --> 00:29:05,078 Andy, we're going to go with Nellie as manager 578 00:29:05,161 --> 00:29:07,163 and put you back on the sales team. 579 00:29:07,288 --> 00:29:11,835 I promise you, in time, we'll all laugh about this incident. 580 00:29:11,918 --> 00:29:14,379 I already think it's kind of funny. 581 00:29:21,553 --> 00:29:22,595 No. 582 00:29:23,638 --> 00:29:24,889 Excuse me? 583 00:29:26,015 --> 00:29:27,225 I'm saying no. 584 00:29:28,685 --> 00:29:30,520 Well, you can't say no. 585 00:29:30,979 --> 00:29:32,105 No. 586 00:29:36,025 --> 00:29:38,236 Oh. Boo! 587 00:29:38,319 --> 00:29:39,571 Holy crap! 588 00:29:40,196 --> 00:29:43,491 Boo! Boo! Boo to you. Pam, you are toxic. You are toxic. 589 00:29:43,908 --> 00:29:47,704 Kelly, I have a few things to say to you, but please don't interrupt. 590 00:29:47,829 --> 00:29:50,290 I wasn't going to interrupt. Yeah, but you do a lot, so just don't. 591 00:29:50,373 --> 00:29:52,959 Thank you. I know that I haven't always treated you 592 00:29:53,042 --> 00:29:55,003 the way that you, for whatever reason, 593 00:29:55,086 --> 00:29:57,338 feel you deserve to be treated. 594 00:29:57,547 --> 00:29:59,215 But I want to marry you, Kelly Kapoor. 595 00:30:00,258 --> 00:30:03,470 Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but some day. 596 00:30:03,970 --> 00:30:04,971 And probably! 597 00:30:05,263 --> 00:30:07,640 Barf! Oh! You suck! 598 00:30:07,724 --> 00:30:09,142 What is your problem? 599 00:30:09,225 --> 00:30:11,603 Hey, can we turn this back around quickly please? 600 00:30:11,728 --> 00:30:13,730 Can we turn this around quickly? This is very important to me. 601 00:30:13,980 --> 00:30:16,149 Turn around. Turn around. 602 00:30:16,232 --> 00:30:18,485 Can we turn this thing around, please? Thank you. 603 00:30:18,610 --> 00:30:20,403 She don't want to turn around. Thank you. 604 00:30:21,654 --> 00:30:24,949 Kelly, I can't promise you that we'll always stay together, 605 00:30:25,200 --> 00:30:28,161 I can't promise you that I'll never cheat on you. Nor should I. 606 00:30:28,244 --> 00:30:30,997 Modern marriages aren't built that way. Men aren't built that way. 607 00:30:31,080 --> 00:30:32,916 There's a very interesting article I can email to you. 608 00:30:33,082 --> 00:30:35,710 But I can tell you this, even if the odds are 50-50 609 00:30:35,793 --> 00:30:37,670 that we'll break up within the week, 610 00:30:38,463 --> 00:30:39,881 I want to roll those dice. 611 00:30:41,049 --> 00:30:42,759 I love you, Kelly. Ryan. 612 00:30:42,842 --> 00:30:44,093 Will you roll those dice with me? 613 00:30:44,969 --> 00:30:47,096 You mean so much to me. 614 00:30:48,014 --> 00:30:51,100 But I love Ravi and I choose him. No, you don't. 615 00:30:51,184 --> 00:30:52,185 I do. No, you don't. 616 00:30:52,435 --> 00:30:54,145 I hope we can still be friends. 617 00:30:57,690 --> 00:30:59,275 Can I have a hug? 618 00:31:06,616 --> 00:31:08,493 Oh. EW! 619 00:31:08,576 --> 00:31:11,412 Well, it's good to see Kelly is maturing. 620 00:31:12,080 --> 00:31:13,373 Oh, God! 621 00:31:13,790 --> 00:31:18,378 Look, Andrew, we can discuss the specifics of the job. 622 00:31:18,878 --> 00:31:19,879 No. 623 00:31:20,129 --> 00:31:22,257 It's the apology. I really have to insist. 624 00:31:22,382 --> 00:31:24,300 No. Stop saying "no." 625 00:31:24,509 --> 00:31:25,635 No. 626 00:31:25,718 --> 00:31:28,805 Andrew, if you say "no" one more time, you're fired. 627 00:31:29,973 --> 00:31:33,393 So, is there anything else you want to say? 628 00:31:34,811 --> 00:31:35,812 No. 629 00:31:36,020 --> 00:31:38,273 I can't describe it. I just, for the first time in a long time, 630 00:31:38,356 --> 00:31:39,899 I actually feel in control. 631 00:31:40,817 --> 00:31:43,611 I feel alive. 632 00:31:43,945 --> 00:31:45,613 Here. 633 00:31:45,697 --> 00:31:46,698 I got it. 634 00:31:46,948 --> 00:31:50,034 But you hurt your hand. I got it. 635 00:31:50,785 --> 00:31:52,870 Right now? Yes. 636 00:32:08,803 --> 00:32:10,638 You're not the least bit curious 637 00:32:10,722 --> 00:32:13,558 to hear a poem straight from Ryan's soul? 638 00:32:13,641 --> 00:32:14,726 Not at all. Can we go? 639 00:32:14,851 --> 00:32:17,478 "Kapoor and Ka-desperate, he watches." 640 00:32:18,021 --> 00:32:20,189 Second line! "He is a drifter out to sea." 641 00:32:21,190 --> 00:32:24,694 "And when the Indian Ocean calms, one speck of white remains 642 00:32:25,361 --> 00:32:27,864 "in waters cold and Kelly green." 643 00:32:28,031 --> 00:32:29,782 It's just so dumb. 644 00:32:31,409 --> 00:32:36,080 But when he describes himself as a child lost on a life raft... 645 00:32:39,042 --> 00:32:40,793 Ryan can never know.