1
00:00:02,794 --> 00:00:03,919
Yeah?
You wanted to see me?

2
00:00:04,004 --> 00:00:07,506
Yes, Oscar, come on in.
Close the door if you would.

3
00:00:08,174 --> 00:00:10,009
Thank you.
Thanks so much
for talking to me.

4
00:00:10,093 --> 00:00:11,093
Yeah, sure.

5
00:00:11,177 --> 00:00:13,512
(SlGHS) l'm going in
for a procedure today.

6
00:00:13,596 --> 00:00:15,514
ls everything okay?
Yeah.

7
00:00:15,598 --> 00:00:17,808
lt's routine. l'm just
a little bit scared.

8
00:00:17,892 --> 00:00:20,561
l'm sure everything
will be fine.

9
00:00:20,645 --> 00:00:23,147
What's the procedure,
if you don't mind my asking?

10
00:00:23,231 --> 00:00:24,815
lt is a colonoscopy.

11
00:00:25,275 --> 00:00:26,442
Okay.

12
00:00:27,944 --> 00:00:30,487
ln your experience,
what should l be expecting

13
00:00:30,572 --> 00:00:34,825
in terms of sensation
or emotions?

14
00:00:42,792 --> 00:00:47,129
ls there anything
l can do to make it more
pleasurable for me,

15
00:00:47,213 --> 00:00:48,964
or for Dr. Chaudry?

16
00:00:50,967 --> 00:00:52,051
(SlGHS) Oh, my God !

17
00:00:52,135 --> 00:00:54,344
My main concern,
should l have
a safe word?

18
00:00:54,471 --> 00:00:55,679
Yeah.

19
00:01:03,313 --> 00:01:04,730
(lNAUDlBLE)

20
00:01:17,452 --> 00:01:18,786
So, Michael,
you think you can
give me a rundown

21
00:01:18,870 --> 00:01:20,496
on the Buffalo
clients by Monday?

22
00:01:20,580 --> 00:01:22,539
Absolutely. You know what?
l'll do you one better.

23
00:01:22,624 --> 00:01:24,124
Sunday. Sunday night.

24
00:01:24,209 --> 00:01:25,709
Okay. l will
get it Monday.

25
00:01:25,794 --> 00:01:27,461
(CHUCKLES)
Hold on, big guy.

26
00:01:27,545 --> 00:01:30,047
l'm going to put it
in the mail Sunday night,
you'll get it Wednesday.

27
00:01:30,131 --> 00:01:32,007
Okay. Jim, you want to
hit the conference room?

28
00:01:32,092 --> 00:01:33,092
Sure.

29
00:01:33,176 --> 00:01:34,176
Hey, good luck.

30
00:01:34,385 --> 00:01:36,595
Oh, right, this thing.
l remember now.

31
00:01:36,679 --> 00:01:37,763
(WHlSPERlNG)
What's this about?

32
00:01:37,847 --> 00:01:39,431
This is just
me and David,
if that's okay.

33
00:01:39,516 --> 00:01:41,058
lt's okay with me.
He's going to
want me in there.

34
00:01:41,142 --> 00:01:43,519
No. lt's okay,
Michael. We got it.

35
00:01:43,686 --> 00:01:45,104
Really?
Yeah.

36
00:01:45,188 --> 00:01:47,356
All right. Do you mind
if l sit this out?

37
00:01:47,440 --> 00:01:51,276
l have so much work to do,
l feel like l'm going
to blow my brains out.

38
00:01:52,487 --> 00:01:54,113
Okay. You got it.

39
00:01:58,535 --> 00:01:59,952
(DOOR SHUTS)

40
00:02:00,495 --> 00:02:03,872
Am l worried that
Jim and David are having
a meeting without me?

41
00:02:03,957 --> 00:02:07,668
No. Because we are
the three amigos.

42
00:02:08,419 --> 00:02:09,586
And once in a while,

43
00:02:09,671 --> 00:02:13,090
one of the amigos
will go off
to the bathroom,

44
00:02:13,174 --> 00:02:16,009
while the other two
have a secret meeting.

45
00:02:22,475 --> 00:02:24,017
Hey, let me
escort you
to your desk.

46
00:02:24,102 --> 00:02:27,521
Okay. lt's just
three or four steps,
but thank you.

47
00:02:27,647 --> 00:02:29,815
Thank you.
You and Jim
are close, huh?

48
00:02:29,899 --> 00:02:33,068
Yeah. l think the pregnancy
really brought us together.

49
00:02:33,153 --> 00:02:36,071
Hey, what do you
think he and David
are talking about?

50
00:02:36,156 --> 00:02:37,281
What do you. . .

51
00:02:37,365 --> 00:02:38,657
Um, l don't know.

52
00:02:38,741 --> 00:02:40,993
MlCHAEL: Well, you said
good luck to Jim
as he walked in.

53
00:02:41,077 --> 00:02:44,746
Did l?
Doesn't sound like me.
Not very superstitious.

54
00:02:46,791 --> 00:02:48,500
(EXHALlNG)

55
00:02:49,669 --> 00:02:52,546
lf you're lying
to me right now,
Pam,

56
00:02:52,630 --> 00:02:54,673
your baby is gonna
come out a liar.

57
00:02:56,467 --> 00:03:00,012
That's how it works.
They inherit things
through the breast milk.

58
00:03:00,680 --> 00:03:02,931
Please don't talk
about my breast milk.

59
00:03:03,016 --> 00:03:05,392
l just don't want
you to lie to me.

60
00:03:05,727 --> 00:03:08,645
l don't want you
to ever lie to me.
Have l ever lied to you?

61
00:03:08,730 --> 00:03:09,688
Yeah.

62
00:03:09,772 --> 00:03:11,356
l just don't
want you to.

63
00:03:11,441 --> 00:03:13,192
DARRYL: l was rushing
to fill an order.

64
00:03:13,276 --> 00:03:16,695
l put the ladder up to grab
a box of three hole
from the top shelf,

65
00:03:16,779 --> 00:03:19,364
next thing l know,
l'm on the ground,
ladder's on top of me.

66
00:03:19,449 --> 00:03:20,699
And that's how you
broke your ankle?

67
00:03:20,783 --> 00:03:21,909
Yes.

68
00:03:21,993 --> 00:03:23,952
Hmm. lnteresting.

69
00:03:24,037 --> 00:03:28,081
How did the ladder
end up on top of you
if you fell off of it?

70
00:03:28,166 --> 00:03:30,459
This doesn't concern you, man.
You need to walk away.

71
00:03:30,543 --> 00:03:32,794
Oh, really?
l'm sorry. l thought
this was a free country.

72
00:03:32,879 --> 00:03:34,963
l didn't know we were
in Communist Sweden.

73
00:03:35,048 --> 00:03:36,089
lf we were
living in Sweden,

74
00:03:36,174 --> 00:03:37,174
l wouldn't have
to worry about this

75
00:03:37,258 --> 00:03:39,176
because we'd have
universal healthcare.

76
00:03:39,928 --> 00:03:40,928
That's not. . . Okay.

77
00:03:41,012 --> 00:03:42,304
Be quiet.
l'm talking about. . .

78
00:03:42,388 --> 00:03:43,639
(SlGHS) Hmm. . .

79
00:03:43,723 --> 00:03:45,182
l will send this
off to corporate.

80
00:03:45,266 --> 00:03:47,059
Make sure you hold on
to your medical bills.

81
00:03:47,143 --> 00:03:48,310
Feel better.

82
00:03:48,394 --> 00:03:50,646
Thanks, T-man. Later.

83
00:03:52,649 --> 00:03:55,234
So long, Darryl.
Feel better.

84
00:03:55,318 --> 00:03:56,902
He's lying.

85
00:03:56,986 --> 00:03:58,237
He has a doctor's note.

86
00:03:58,363 --> 00:04:02,407
From who? Dr. J?
You really need to
investigate this.

87
00:04:02,492 --> 00:04:04,409
People don't just
fall off of ladders.

88
00:04:04,494 --> 00:04:05,869
Guy on my street
fell off a ladder

89
00:04:05,954 --> 00:04:07,537
painting his house.
lt was on the news.

90
00:04:07,622 --> 00:04:10,415
Since when
have you known Darryl
to rush to do anything

91
00:04:10,500 --> 00:04:12,918
other than to come up here
for birthday cake?

92
00:04:13,002 --> 00:04:15,170
"Y'all having
birthday cake?"
(SCOFFS)

93
00:04:15,296 --> 00:04:16,588
That's not
a very good Darryl.
Please!

94
00:04:16,673 --> 00:04:20,550
And how many
foremen do you know
that pull boxes?

95
00:04:21,469 --> 00:04:23,637
lt just doesn't add up.

96
00:04:26,266 --> 00:04:29,309
TOBY: WeII,
we did a little investigation,
and Dwight had a good point.

97
00:04:29,394 --> 00:04:33,146
The Iadder
didn't reach the top shelf.
l don't know if l believe it,

98
00:04:33,231 --> 00:04:36,191
but I am a fan
of the hardboiIed
detective noveI.

99
00:04:36,276 --> 00:04:38,610
"l'll punch you
into mush, see?"

100
00:04:39,570 --> 00:04:43,490
Uh-huh. Well, if he doesn't
like it, you can tell
that s.o.b that he is fired.

101
00:04:43,574 --> 00:04:47,869
Sorry, l'm going
into a meeting right now.
l will. l love you, too. Bye.

102
00:04:47,954 --> 00:04:48,954
Who was that?

103
00:04:49,038 --> 00:04:50,789
Sorry about that.
What'd l miss?

104
00:04:50,873 --> 00:04:53,292
Michael, we would like
to continue the rest of
this meeting in private,

105
00:04:53,376 --> 00:04:54,334
please,
if you don't mind.

106
00:04:54,419 --> 00:04:55,711
l do not mind.

107
00:04:55,795 --> 00:04:58,630
Yes, l do.
No, l don't. Yes, l do.
No, l don't mind.

108
00:04:58,715 --> 00:05:01,091
Catch you guys on
the flippity-flop.
Oh, this. . .

109
00:05:01,175 --> 00:05:02,926
Call waiting. Yeah?

110
00:05:03,011 --> 00:05:05,095
Uh-huh.
Well, you tell the mayor
he just lost six votes.

111
00:05:05,179 --> 00:05:06,179
(DOOR SLAMS SHUT)

112
00:05:07,223 --> 00:05:09,141
They've been
in there a while.

113
00:05:09,225 --> 00:05:11,059
Yeah.
Can't be good.

114
00:05:11,686 --> 00:05:12,769
No.

115
00:05:12,854 --> 00:05:14,229
Think they're
talking about me?

116
00:05:14,856 --> 00:05:17,316
No, l think they're
talking about me.

117
00:05:17,400 --> 00:05:20,694
Yeah. That makes
way more sense.
Okay. Thanks, boss.

118
00:05:21,529 --> 00:05:23,488
MlCHAEL: What is
Jim telling him?
That I can't handle this job?

119
00:05:23,573 --> 00:05:25,699
That's bull crap.
That is bull crap.

120
00:05:26,701 --> 00:05:29,494
Although it has been
chaotic lately.

121
00:05:29,579 --> 00:05:31,663
Corporate shut down
the Buffalo branch,

122
00:05:31,748 --> 00:05:35,000
which left us to absorb
all of their clients.

123
00:05:35,084 --> 00:05:39,004
I will tell you,
there has been
work every day.

124
00:05:39,088 --> 00:05:41,214
Had to come in
on a Saturday

125
00:05:42,091 --> 00:05:45,385
to retrieve. . . l left
my cell phone here.

126
00:05:46,929 --> 00:05:48,513
Hey, Kelly.

127
00:05:48,598 --> 00:05:50,932
(SlGHS) So jealous
of your boobs.

128
00:05:51,768 --> 00:05:52,976
Thank you.

129
00:05:53,061 --> 00:05:55,395
Um, listen,
l just wanted
to confirm

130
00:05:55,480 --> 00:05:57,564
that you're not
coming to the wedding,

131
00:05:57,648 --> 00:06:01,068
which is totally
understandable,
and more than fine.

132
00:06:01,152 --> 00:06:02,319
ls Ryan going?

133
00:06:02,403 --> 00:06:04,321
l don't know,
he hasn't RSVPed yet.

134
00:06:04,405 --> 00:06:06,823
We invited everyone
in the office
to our wedding,

135
00:06:06,908 --> 00:06:08,450
even though
we realized
most people

136
00:06:08,534 --> 00:06:11,787
wouldn't be able
to make the drive
to Niagara Falls.

137
00:06:12,163 --> 00:06:15,332
(WHlSPERlNG) Which is why
we're having it
in Niagara Falls.

138
00:06:15,958 --> 00:06:17,918
Then Michael
told everyone

139
00:06:18,002 --> 00:06:21,463
they could have
Friday and Monday
off if they came.

140
00:06:21,547 --> 00:06:25,384
So now, people have
to decide if they want
to come to our wedding

141
00:06:25,468 --> 00:06:27,469
or have to work.

142
00:06:27,553 --> 00:06:29,638
Here's the deal.
l really want to go.

143
00:06:29,722 --> 00:06:31,515
But l'm not gonna go
if Ryan doesn't go,

144
00:06:31,599 --> 00:06:33,683
because it's kind of
a waste of time.

145
00:06:33,768 --> 00:06:34,893
That came out wrong.

146
00:06:34,977 --> 00:06:36,603
lt would be awesome
if you could try
to get him to go

147
00:06:36,687 --> 00:06:39,981
because l'd really like
to be there to support Jim.

148
00:06:40,149 --> 00:06:41,733
(KEYS CACKLlNG)

149
00:06:44,320 --> 00:06:46,488
What can l do
for you, hoss?

150
00:06:46,989 --> 00:06:48,240
How are your
sales doing?

151
00:06:48,324 --> 00:06:50,200
How are my sales doing?

152
00:06:50,827 --> 00:06:52,035
Busted.

153
00:06:53,162 --> 00:06:55,622
You know, my numbers
are down a little bit.

154
00:06:55,706 --> 00:06:57,874
And it's 'cause
of the economy.

155
00:06:59,001 --> 00:07:01,795
You're not buying it.
You're good.

156
00:07:01,879 --> 00:07:03,880
Okay, the truth is

157
00:07:03,965 --> 00:07:06,842
l have been having
trouble focusing lately.
l'm in this weird,

158
00:07:06,926 --> 00:07:11,763
flirty, nebulous thing
with this cousin of mine.

159
00:07:12,557 --> 00:07:14,307
And it's a total mind f'er.

160
00:07:14,392 --> 00:07:16,101
Again with the cousin.

161
00:07:16,185 --> 00:07:17,811
Oh, l'm sorry, Phyllis.

162
00:07:17,895 --> 00:07:19,729
You explain
this email. Okay?

163
00:07:19,814 --> 00:07:24,192
"Hey, Andy, let's go
visit Grandma and then
get drunk together. Ha, ha."

164
00:07:24,277 --> 00:07:27,737
Shh. l'm just trying to
figure out what's going on
in that room, okay?

165
00:07:27,822 --> 00:07:29,614
MlCHAEL: WaIIace
had to show up

166
00:07:29,699 --> 00:07:33,535
on the one
four-month period that
l'm completely overwhelmed.

167
00:07:35,121 --> 00:07:38,665
You know when they say,
"lt's so crazy
it just might work?"

168
00:07:39,250 --> 00:07:42,919
Well, l don't believe that.
l say go for
the airtight plan.

169
00:07:43,004 --> 00:07:44,796
And that is why
l am having Andy

170
00:07:44,881 --> 00:07:46,423
wheel me into
the conference room

171
00:07:46,507 --> 00:07:48,425
inside a makeshift
cheese cart.

172
00:07:49,093 --> 00:07:52,888
lt is just elegant.

173
00:07:56,267 --> 00:07:57,642
MlCHAEL: Be my eyes.
You got it.

174
00:07:57,727 --> 00:07:59,561
What have we here?
Oh !

175
00:07:59,645 --> 00:08:00,645
STANLEY: Hello.

176
00:08:00,730 --> 00:08:01,980
Just backing up
and turning around.

177
00:08:02,064 --> 00:08:03,064
Hey, we're
gonna do this. . .

178
00:08:03,149 --> 00:08:05,233
(EXCLAlMlNG)
lt's not for you.

179
00:08:06,527 --> 00:08:08,153
(SPEAKlNG FRENCH)

180
00:08:08,863 --> 00:08:12,324
l took the liberty
of preparing for you
a cheese platter,

181
00:08:12,408 --> 00:08:16,495
which l will place here
on the eastern wall
of the conference room.

182
00:08:16,579 --> 00:08:17,662
Cheese platter?

183
00:08:17,747 --> 00:08:18,872
(ANDY SPEAKlNG FRENCH)

184
00:08:18,956 --> 00:08:22,250
From the Wisconsin region,
a nice, firm cheddar.

185
00:08:23,085 --> 00:08:26,922
Also from the great
state of Wisconsin,
an aged Parmesan.

186
00:08:27,423 --> 00:08:30,175
Here you will find
a cheddar-style spread,

187
00:08:30,259 --> 00:08:34,346
which has reacted
nicely with the air
to form a light rind,

188
00:08:34,430 --> 00:08:37,015
which l think you'll find both
challenging and delicious.

189
00:08:37,099 --> 00:08:39,017
At that point, l would
recommend you take

190
00:08:39,101 --> 00:08:42,145
a quick trip
south of the border to
the great state of lllinois,

191
00:08:42,230 --> 00:08:45,190
where you will find
this fine blue
cheese dressing.

192
00:08:45,274 --> 00:08:46,942
lf l may be so bold,

193
00:08:47,026 --> 00:08:49,819
it's a lot of fun
to let the goldfish

194
00:08:49,904 --> 00:08:52,656
take a little swim
in the blue cheese.

195
00:08:52,740 --> 00:08:54,115
(SPEAKlNG FRENCH)

196
00:08:55,785 --> 00:08:59,037
All right, well,
l should go.
Thanks for this.

197
00:08:59,622 --> 00:09:00,830
You've given me
a lot to think about.

198
00:09:00,915 --> 00:09:02,916
Please promise me
you won't do anything
until we speak.

199
00:09:03,000 --> 00:09:04,459
No, l won't.

200
00:09:05,628 --> 00:09:07,045
(SlGHlNG) All right.
Hey, thanks for
taking the time.

201
00:09:07,129 --> 00:09:09,756
Yeah. Appreciate it.
Thank you, Jim.

202
00:09:15,638 --> 00:09:17,222
Erin,
is Michael around?

203
00:09:17,306 --> 00:09:19,391
l think
he's around here.

204
00:09:20,768 --> 00:09:22,018
ls that. . .

205
00:09:22,103 --> 00:09:23,228
Hey, hey, hey.

206
00:09:23,312 --> 00:09:25,230
You must have
walked right past me.
How you doing?

207
00:09:25,314 --> 00:09:26,731
Yeah. Could we talk in
your office for a sec?

208
00:09:26,816 --> 00:09:28,733
Yes, definitely.

209
00:09:28,818 --> 00:09:30,026
Okay.

210
00:09:37,910 --> 00:09:42,289
TOBY: lt sounds
like a EMD P40.

211
00:09:42,373 --> 00:09:44,833
Nah. That's a GE.

212
00:09:45,459 --> 00:09:46,960
The P40 is much
higher-pitched.

213
00:09:47,044 --> 00:09:48,461
You're into trains?

214
00:09:48,546 --> 00:09:50,130
Have been
my whole life.
Wow!

215
00:09:50,214 --> 00:09:52,757
l'm rebuilding
a turn-of-the-century
steam engine

216
00:09:52,842 --> 00:09:54,384
in my slaughterhouse.

217
00:09:54,468 --> 00:09:56,386
That's so cool.
Yeah.

218
00:09:56,470 --> 00:09:58,096
Wow!
l'd love to take
a look at that.

219
00:09:58,180 --> 00:09:59,764
Yeah. lt's just
a run-of-the-mill
slaughterhouse,

220
00:09:59,849 --> 00:10:00,807
but sure, anytime.

221
00:10:00,891 --> 00:10:03,226
Well, you know,
because of the trains.

222
00:10:03,311 --> 00:10:05,145
Wait, someone's coming.
Oh, boy. Oh, boy.

223
00:10:05,229 --> 00:10:07,606
lt's Darryl ! Get down !
He's not using crutches!

224
00:10:07,690 --> 00:10:09,274
Get the camera.
Start taping.

225
00:10:09,358 --> 00:10:10,400
Drive!

226
00:10:10,484 --> 00:10:12,319
Worker's comp, my ass!

227
00:10:12,403 --> 00:10:14,029
l can't believe this.

228
00:10:14,113 --> 00:10:15,280
Hey, you ass (BLEEP) !

229
00:10:15,364 --> 00:10:16,364
Toby!

230
00:10:16,449 --> 00:10:19,200
TOBY: You gonna eat all
that dog food yourself?

231
00:10:20,286 --> 00:10:22,412
No, no!

232
00:10:23,623 --> 00:10:24,914
Oh, man !
You okay?

233
00:10:24,999 --> 00:10:26,041
Just drive.

234
00:10:31,005 --> 00:10:32,631
Hey, Ryan.
Hey.

235
00:10:32,715 --> 00:10:35,634
So, l just wanted to
confirm that you're not
coming to my wedding.

236
00:10:35,718 --> 00:10:37,802
Yeah, l might stop by.

237
00:10:37,887 --> 00:10:39,888
lt costs about
$75 per person.

238
00:10:39,972 --> 00:10:43,475
Okay. l once had
a glass of Cognac
that cost $77, so. . .

239
00:10:43,559 --> 00:10:46,561
Can you just tell me now
if you're coming or not?

240
00:10:47,063 --> 00:10:49,814
Yes. l'm coming
to your wedding.

241
00:10:49,899 --> 00:10:51,816
Okay. Ryan Howard, yes.

242
00:10:51,901 --> 00:10:53,485
Probably yes.

243
00:10:53,569 --> 00:10:55,236
Kelly Kapoor, yes.

244
00:10:55,738 --> 00:10:58,740
Are you sure you're
okay with these new
responsibilities?

245
00:10:58,824 --> 00:11:00,033
Look who you're talking to.

246
00:11:00,117 --> 00:11:03,828
Just trying to figure out
the best way to utilize
everyone's talents.

247
00:11:03,913 --> 00:11:05,997
Well, l would say
that my greatest talent

248
00:11:06,082 --> 00:11:09,459
is being the best
man, woman or child

249
00:11:09,543 --> 00:11:11,169
to have ever run
this branch. Ever.

250
00:11:11,253 --> 00:11:12,253
And what about Jim?

251
00:11:12,338 --> 00:11:13,838
You think Jim is
someone who is ready

252
00:11:13,923 --> 00:11:16,633
to move into
a management position?

253
00:11:21,639 --> 00:11:23,348
Permission to speak
on the record.

254
00:11:23,432 --> 00:11:24,724
Please do.

255
00:11:24,809 --> 00:11:27,811
Jim is like Big Bird.

256
00:11:27,895 --> 00:11:32,232
He is tall and yellow
and very nice.

257
00:11:32,316 --> 00:11:34,734
But would l put him
in charge? No.

258
00:11:35,277 --> 00:11:39,698
l don't think so. He. . .
Big Bird doesn't make
the tough decisions.

259
00:11:40,574 --> 00:11:44,619
lf l was going to put
someone in charge,
l would put Bert in charge.

260
00:11:44,704 --> 00:11:46,579
Or l would put
one of the real
grownups in charge,

261
00:11:46,664 --> 00:11:47,706
like Maria.

262
00:11:47,790 --> 00:11:49,082
Or Gordon, maybe.

263
00:11:49,166 --> 00:11:50,333
l thought you liked Jim.

264
00:11:50,418 --> 00:11:52,669
Very much.
Jim is my best friend.

265
00:11:52,753 --> 00:11:55,505
But here's his
performance report.

266
00:11:57,550 --> 00:11:58,925
Right here.

267
00:11:59,009 --> 00:12:01,803
Now, this was
written by Toby,

268
00:12:01,887 --> 00:12:05,265
who we all know is
extremely reliable.

269
00:12:05,933 --> 00:12:09,561
"Constant office distraction.
Spends way too much
time at reception.

270
00:12:09,645 --> 00:12:12,897
"Antagonizes other salesmen.
Not at all what
he thinks he is."

271
00:12:12,982 --> 00:12:16,109
lt's not very well written.
But you get the gist.

272
00:12:16,193 --> 00:12:19,571
ls there anybody else
you think could run the
day-to-day of the branch?

273
00:12:19,655 --> 00:12:21,781
l could just continue
to run it myself, that's. . .

274
00:12:21,866 --> 00:12:25,660
Jim had an interesting
idea to help you with
this extra workload.

275
00:12:25,745 --> 00:12:27,746
And it involved
you being promoted

276
00:12:27,830 --> 00:12:30,206
to oversee all
northeast sales.

277
00:12:30,291 --> 00:12:33,376
And then Jim
would be promoted
to your position.

278
00:12:35,963 --> 00:12:37,130
This was Jim's idea?

279
00:12:37,214 --> 00:12:38,214
Mmm-hmm.

280
00:12:39,383 --> 00:12:40,675
Wow!

281
00:12:43,220 --> 00:12:49,184
Well, l'd have to talk
to my mother and my guy
at H&R Block.

282
00:12:52,146 --> 00:12:53,938
Okay. But, well, see,
here's the thing, though.

283
00:12:54,023 --> 00:12:55,565
The plan doesn't work

284
00:12:55,649 --> 00:12:58,318
unless we have
someone to replace you.
l was hoping. . .

285
00:12:59,445 --> 00:13:02,655
Plus, we have to
worry about Jim.
He has another job offer.

286
00:13:02,740 --> 00:13:04,949
We may have to replace him.

287
00:13:05,034 --> 00:13:08,828
l didn't tell Michael because
l thought he'd try to help.

288
00:13:09,789 --> 00:13:14,000
Example, he handed out
Jell-O shots at the 23rd mile
of the Steamtown Marathon.

289
00:13:17,087 --> 00:13:19,297
Jim, can you walk me down
to my car for a second?

290
00:13:19,381 --> 00:13:20,548
Sure.

291
00:13:31,268 --> 00:13:33,186
(lNAUDlBLE)

292
00:13:42,112 --> 00:13:45,573
l can't help but feel
partially responsible.

293
00:13:54,083 --> 00:13:58,795
Little pick-me-up.
Those are the best.
Sugar rush.

294
00:13:58,879 --> 00:14:01,339
When you were in
the office earlier
talking to Wallace,

295
00:14:01,423 --> 00:14:03,550
did l come up at all?

296
00:14:04,885 --> 00:14:07,679
Well, we did talk about
how handsome you are.

297
00:14:07,763 --> 00:14:09,097
Why don't we head into
your office and talk?

298
00:14:09,181 --> 00:14:12,809
MlCHAEL:
Okay. What did we. . .
God ! We said. . .

299
00:14:13,602 --> 00:14:16,521
l know
there were certain
things we said.

300
00:14:16,981 --> 00:14:18,690
Michael, look.
l'll just be honest with you.

301
00:14:18,774 --> 00:14:21,609
Earlier today, l spoke with
Wallace about a promotion.

302
00:14:21,694 --> 00:14:23,236
And l actually think
that talk went really well.

303
00:14:23,320 --> 00:14:24,362
Mmm-hmm.

304
00:14:24,446 --> 00:14:25,738
And then,
after he spoke with you,

305
00:14:25,823 --> 00:14:28,366
for some reason,
it felt like
things had changed.

306
00:14:28,450 --> 00:14:30,827
Hmm. That's weird.
That's weird.

307
00:14:31,912 --> 00:14:33,538
Kind of weirding me out.

308
00:14:33,622 --> 00:14:36,374
Did you know that
Lincoln's secretary
was named Kennedy?

309
00:14:36,458 --> 00:14:38,793
Michael,
did you say anything?

310
00:14:39,128 --> 00:14:41,796
(SlGHS) Tell you what,
when you leave this office,

311
00:14:41,881 --> 00:14:44,007
l'm going to call Wallace
and l'm going to tell him

312
00:14:44,091 --> 00:14:45,842
that you should
get that promotion.

313
00:14:45,926 --> 00:14:47,010
Really?
Yes.

314
00:14:47,094 --> 00:14:48,469
You will?
Yes.

315
00:14:48,554 --> 00:14:50,054
Wanna do it right now?

316
00:14:50,139 --> 00:14:51,139
Yes.

317
00:14:52,308 --> 00:14:54,976
l tried to keep
Michael in the dark.

318
00:14:56,645 --> 00:15:00,732
l should have known
that he can do just as much
damage in the dark.

319
00:15:00,983 --> 00:15:02,233
l need to see
your pupils.

320
00:15:02,318 --> 00:15:03,735
l have to see if
they're dilating. . .

321
00:15:03,819 --> 00:15:05,528
STANLEY: Toby! Dwight!

322
00:15:06,488 --> 00:15:07,739
ls that them?

323
00:15:07,823 --> 00:15:08,990
Definitely.

324
00:15:10,117 --> 00:15:13,077
You come to my house,
bust up my trash cans,

325
00:15:13,162 --> 00:15:16,039
call my baby sister
an ass (BLEEP) and
told her to eat dog food?

326
00:15:16,123 --> 00:15:17,790
We thought that
she was you.

327
00:15:17,875 --> 00:15:20,084
Why would you think
a lady is me?

328
00:15:23,797 --> 00:15:28,301
Are you serious?
Because you look
exactly alike.

329
00:15:28,385 --> 00:15:29,594
Am l the only one?
TOBY: That's too far. . .

330
00:15:29,678 --> 00:15:31,512
Are you getting this?
l mean. . .

331
00:15:31,597 --> 00:15:32,597
l don't see it.

332
00:15:32,681 --> 00:15:34,432
Here's what
l'm gonna do.

333
00:15:34,516 --> 00:15:37,977
l'm calling corporate
and l'm filing a complaint
against both of you.

334
00:15:38,062 --> 00:15:39,270
Oh, Darryl.

335
00:15:39,355 --> 00:15:40,521
Come on, Gwyneth.

336
00:15:41,857 --> 00:15:42,899
Sad.

337
00:15:44,443 --> 00:15:45,944
This is David.

338
00:15:46,779 --> 00:15:48,780
Hey, David,
this is Michael. . .

339
00:15:50,157 --> 00:15:51,616
Michael Scott here.
Yeah.

340
00:15:51,700 --> 00:15:53,952
Just wanted
to talk to you
about Jim Halpert.

341
00:15:54,036 --> 00:15:58,081
l understand
that he did not
receive that promotion,

342
00:15:58,165 --> 00:16:00,124
and l wanted to see
what l could do

343
00:16:00,209 --> 00:16:02,585
to nudge you
in the right
direction.

344
00:16:03,212 --> 00:16:05,797
So, what,
you're changing
your mind about Jim?

345
00:16:05,881 --> 00:16:10,468
Absolutely not!
Like l said before,

346
00:16:10,552 --> 00:16:14,055
Jim is fantastic
and he deserves this job.

347
00:16:15,057 --> 00:16:17,308
Michael, it seems like
you're cutting in and out.

348
00:16:17,393 --> 00:16:20,353
This is not what
you said earlier.

349
00:16:20,437 --> 00:16:22,063
What. . . Here's the thing.

350
00:16:23,232 --> 00:16:24,649
Jim is the best
man for this job.

351
00:16:24,733 --> 00:16:26,025
l think you should
give it to him.

352
00:16:26,110 --> 00:16:28,361
Well, it doesn't change
what you showed me
in Jim's fiIe.

353
00:16:28,445 --> 00:16:29,821
What?
Well. . .

354
00:16:30,906 --> 00:16:33,324
That was an anomaly.

355
00:16:33,993 --> 00:16:39,664
That file had been falsified.
Toby Flenderson
is doing drugs.

356
00:16:39,748 --> 00:16:41,666
Michael, I really
don't know what's
going on down there, but...

357
00:16:41,750 --> 00:16:42,709
(POLlCE SlREN WAlLlNG)

358
00:16:42,793 --> 00:16:44,335
Oh, damn it!

359
00:16:44,420 --> 00:16:47,964
I am getting pulled over
for talking on my cell.
Damn it!

360
00:16:51,760 --> 00:16:56,180
Hey, Darryl, look,
we're here to apologize.

361
00:16:56,265 --> 00:16:57,473
We're cool.
DWlGHT: Wait.

362
00:16:57,558 --> 00:16:59,767
They're using the lift
as their own personal
elevator.

363
00:16:59,852 --> 00:17:01,436
STANLEY: What?
He broke his ankle

364
00:17:01,520 --> 00:17:03,604
climbing over the railing,
then he lied about it

365
00:17:03,689 --> 00:17:06,441
because it was a misuse
of company equipment.

366
00:17:06,525 --> 00:17:08,026
Case closed.

367
00:17:08,110 --> 00:17:09,527
Stupidest thing
l ever heard.

368
00:17:09,611 --> 00:17:13,448
Really?
Then why is there new wood
only on one railing?

369
00:17:14,658 --> 00:17:17,368
Let's just check
the security tapes, Toby.

370
00:17:18,203 --> 00:17:21,247
Well, you know,
l don't think there's
any reason to check them,

371
00:17:21,331 --> 00:17:24,542
but l suppose
if we wanted to be
really certain.

372
00:17:24,626 --> 00:17:26,878
All right. Yeah.
Fine, so whatever.

373
00:17:26,962 --> 00:17:27,920
Yes!

374
00:17:28,005 --> 00:17:29,213
TOBY: You really did it.

375
00:17:29,298 --> 00:17:33,009
Now, l would like
to file an official
complaint to corporate

376
00:17:33,093 --> 00:17:36,471
because Darryl lied
on an official form.

377
00:17:36,555 --> 00:17:39,098
And l'm telling them
you guys sexually
harassed my sister.

378
00:17:39,183 --> 00:17:42,435
(SCOFFS) No judge
is gonna believe that.

379
00:17:44,897 --> 00:17:46,189
Okay.

380
00:17:46,774 --> 00:17:49,192
Look, we could
all file complaints
against each other

381
00:17:49,276 --> 00:17:52,028
and just drown in a sea
of paperwork, but,

382
00:17:52,112 --> 00:17:55,323
you know, we'll just
move on with our lives.

383
00:17:56,575 --> 00:18:01,454
So, Dwight and Darryl
came to an agreement
that they would both file

384
00:18:01,538 --> 00:18:03,081
complaints
with corporate,

385
00:18:03,165 --> 00:18:05,792
and now l get to do
all this paperwork.

386
00:18:07,169 --> 00:18:08,795
We worked it out.

387
00:18:11,673 --> 00:18:14,801
Hey, hey, Jim.
lt would make me feel
really good right now

388
00:18:14,885 --> 00:18:18,262
if you would just
punch me in the face,
all right? Just do it.

389
00:18:18,347 --> 00:18:19,806
How many times
have l asked you

390
00:18:19,890 --> 00:18:21,349
to put me up for
a branch manager job?

391
00:18:21,433 --> 00:18:24,393
l never recommended you
because l didn't
want to lose you.

392
00:18:24,478 --> 00:18:26,104
And l didn't
want to lose Pam.

393
00:18:26,188 --> 00:18:27,772
Now l don't want
to lose the baby.

394
00:18:27,856 --> 00:18:29,732
So, instead,
you screwed me?

395
00:18:29,817 --> 00:18:31,859
That's what she said.
No.

396
00:18:33,028 --> 00:18:34,028
David Wallace
is calling.

397
00:18:34,113 --> 00:18:35,238
We're kind of
in the middle
of something here.

398
00:18:35,322 --> 00:18:36,280
Should l tell him
you'll call back?

399
00:18:36,365 --> 00:18:39,575
Yeah. No.
l'll tell him myself.

400
00:18:40,035 --> 00:18:41,536
Let's both.

401
00:18:45,749 --> 00:18:46,749
Hello?

402
00:18:46,834 --> 00:18:48,042
DAVID: Hey, Michael.
Yes.

403
00:18:48,127 --> 00:18:49,293
You got Jim
there with you?

404
00:18:49,378 --> 00:18:50,795
No, it's just us.

405
00:18:50,879 --> 00:18:53,756
Actually, can you call Jim in?
I want him on this. PIease.

406
00:18:53,841 --> 00:18:56,425
Oh ! Well, here
he is right now.

407
00:18:57,719 --> 00:18:58,928
Come in.

408
00:18:59,555 --> 00:19:00,680
(CLlCKlNG TONGUE)

409
00:19:00,764 --> 00:19:02,265
(lMlTATlNG DOOR SQUEAKlNG)

410
00:19:05,018 --> 00:19:06,477
Hi, David.

411
00:19:06,562 --> 00:19:09,397
Hey, guys.
So, I spoke to AIan.

412
00:19:09,481 --> 00:19:12,942
We had kind of
an unconventional idea,
which I think is pretty cool.

413
00:19:13,026 --> 00:19:15,570
But it only works if
everyone's onboard.

414
00:19:15,654 --> 00:19:18,322
Well, just as long
as it means Jim
becomes a manager.

415
00:19:18,407 --> 00:19:21,659
We were thinking
of having two branch
managers in Scranton.

416
00:19:21,743 --> 00:19:24,162
Both of you guys
working as co-managers.

417
00:19:24,246 --> 00:19:25,621
Jim wouId handIe
the day-to-day,

418
00:19:25,706 --> 00:19:29,041
and Michael, you would
focus on cIients
and big picture stuff.

419
00:19:29,126 --> 00:19:30,334
Wow!
That sounds pretty cool.

420
00:19:30,419 --> 00:19:31,669
l like that!

421
00:19:31,753 --> 00:19:33,504
So, manager
and co-manager.

422
00:19:33,589 --> 00:19:35,673
Co-manager and co-manager.

423
00:19:35,757 --> 00:19:37,258
See, there are a lot
of moving pieces

424
00:19:37,342 --> 00:19:39,677
and this is the only way
I can sell it upstairs.

425
00:19:39,761 --> 00:19:41,512
Well, that might be
a little confusing
for people

426
00:19:41,597 --> 00:19:43,764
because they
know me as manager.

427
00:19:44,433 --> 00:19:47,768
All right, hey, Michael,
can you pick up
for one second?

428
00:19:48,437 --> 00:19:51,189
Okay, Iook, I'm not
going to force you
into anything.

429
00:19:51,273 --> 00:19:53,441
If you're willing
to lose Jim, fine.

430
00:19:53,525 --> 00:19:56,611
You just say so.
We'II find another
soIution. Okay?

431
00:19:57,529 --> 00:19:59,614
Is that what
you want to do?

432
00:20:06,163 --> 00:20:07,788
Okay, people, listen up!
MlCHAEL: Okay, everybody.

433
00:20:07,873 --> 00:20:09,832
BOTH: l have
an announcement
to make.

434
00:20:09,958 --> 00:20:11,167
Fraud was
committed in. . .
Whoa!

435
00:20:11,251 --> 00:20:12,210
Do you have
an announcement?

436
00:20:12,294 --> 00:20:13,669
l was making it.

437
00:20:13,754 --> 00:20:16,547
Everybody,
David Wallace
and l have talked,

438
00:20:16,632 --> 00:20:20,635
and we have decided
to promote Jim to the
position of co-manager.

439
00:20:21,386 --> 00:20:22,470
Co-manager of what?

440
00:20:22,554 --> 00:20:24,388
Of your butt!

441
00:20:25,057 --> 00:20:28,976
And your butt,
and your butt, and your butt.
All of Scranton branch butts.

442
00:20:29,061 --> 00:20:30,561
What's happening
to you, Michael?

443
00:20:30,646 --> 00:20:31,771
What's happening to me?

444
00:20:31,855 --> 00:20:34,273
l am also being
promoted to co-manager.

445
00:20:34,358 --> 00:20:36,734
We will be
co-managers together.

446
00:20:38,070 --> 00:20:40,821
Jim Halpert, welcome.

447
00:20:40,906 --> 00:20:42,281
Thank you.

448
00:20:47,829 --> 00:20:49,080
(YELLlNG)

449
00:20:51,041 --> 00:20:53,834
Niagara Falls in October?
Hells yeah !

450
00:20:53,919 --> 00:20:57,338
Do you think that
you could send in
your RSVP card?

451
00:20:57,422 --> 00:20:58,839
No. l'll just
tell you now. Easier.

452
00:20:58,924 --> 00:21:01,259
Well, you have to
choose a food option,

453
00:21:01,343 --> 00:21:03,803
and there's information
in there about directions
and lodging.

454
00:21:03,887 --> 00:21:06,764
l'll just have
whatever's fanciest,
unless there's ribs,

455
00:21:06,848 --> 00:21:09,433
and l'll just get
all the other information
the day of. l'll text you.

456
00:21:09,518 --> 00:21:12,520
You are going to text me
the morning of my wedding

457
00:21:12,604 --> 00:21:14,063
to ask for directions. . .
Mmm-hmm. Right.

458
00:21:14,147 --> 00:21:16,440
. . .and you will eat
whatever is fanciest?

459
00:21:16,525 --> 00:21:17,858
Unless there's ribs.

460
00:21:19,194 --> 00:21:20,236
Rude.

461
00:21:20,320 --> 00:21:22,196
So rude, right?
Mmm-hmm.

462
00:21:22,281 --> 00:21:25,574
Oh, my gosh.
l have been chasing
people down all day.

463
00:21:25,659 --> 00:21:26,617
lt's incredible.

464
00:21:26,702 --> 00:21:28,369
Pam, my bag was there.