1
00:00:03,253 --> 00:00:04,753
(DOOR OPENlNG)

2
00:00:04,838 --> 00:00:05,921
They're back!

3
00:00:06,006 --> 00:00:08,757
Oh, yeah !

4
00:00:08,842 --> 00:00:11,176
Woo-hoo!
KEVlN: Jim and Pam !

5
00:00:11,302 --> 00:00:13,595
How was Puerto Rico?
Was it so romantic?
JlM: lt was.

6
00:00:13,680 --> 00:00:14,680
lt really was.

7
00:00:14,764 --> 00:00:15,848
Really was.

8
00:00:15,932 --> 00:00:17,725
l'm so happy for you.

9
00:00:17,809 --> 00:00:19,018
Puerto Rico
was awesome.

10
00:00:19,102 --> 00:00:21,145
Oh, my gosh.
The honeymoon
was great.

11
00:00:21,229 --> 00:00:23,605
We met this other
couple at the resort,
Frank and Benny.

12
00:00:23,690 --> 00:00:25,190
We hung out
with them a lot.

13
00:00:25,275 --> 00:00:28,777
(lN HUSKY TONE)
Frank and Beans.
Always makes her laugh.

14
00:00:29,654 --> 00:00:31,613
(lN HUSKY TONE)
Frank and Beans.

15
00:00:32,866 --> 00:00:35,367
ls there someone there?
Who's there?

16
00:00:35,452 --> 00:00:36,952
l hear voices.
ls somebody there?

17
00:00:37,037 --> 00:00:38,120
Yeah !

18
00:00:38,705 --> 00:00:43,167
ls someone here?
l can't see you
because l'm blind.

19
00:00:43,251 --> 00:00:44,501
DWlGHT: lt's Jim
and Pam, Michael.

20
00:00:44,586 --> 00:00:46,045
MlCHAEL: (GASPS) lt is?
DWlGHT: Yeah.

21
00:00:46,129 --> 00:00:47,463
They're back?

22
00:00:47,547 --> 00:00:49,298
(EXCLAlMlNG)

23
00:00:50,467 --> 00:00:52,051
Pam.
Nope.

24
00:00:52,135 --> 00:00:54,803
And, oh, Jim.

25
00:00:54,888 --> 00:00:56,221
Hi, Michael.

26
00:00:56,306 --> 00:01:01,143
l haven't seen you
since my accident
that l had when l fell. . .

27
00:01:01,811 --> 00:01:05,564
l fell into the pool
of acid, eyes-first.

28
00:01:07,067 --> 00:01:08,150
Blind guy.

29
00:01:09,444 --> 00:01:11,904
Blind Guy McSqueezy.
How do l describe it?

30
00:01:11,988 --> 00:01:14,073
lt is a character
l've been workshopping,

31
00:01:14,157 --> 00:01:17,659
whose lack of vision
gets him into
all sorts of trouble.

32
00:01:18,328 --> 00:01:21,538
The women
in my improv class
absolutely hate him.

33
00:01:22,999 --> 00:01:23,999
(EXCLAlMlNG)

34
00:01:25,335 --> 00:01:26,835
So, what'd you
bring us?

35
00:01:26,920 --> 00:01:28,170
Some candy.

36
00:01:28,254 --> 00:01:29,296
What else?

37
00:01:29,380 --> 00:01:30,380
That's it.

38
00:01:30,465 --> 00:01:33,217
Oh, because you spent
so much on the wedding.

39
00:01:33,510 --> 00:01:34,843
(GROANlNG)

40
00:01:37,013 --> 00:01:38,180
lt's good to be home.

41
00:01:44,687 --> 00:01:46,105
(lNAUDlBLE)

42
00:02:00,245 --> 00:02:02,454
This conversation
has two items
on the agenda.

43
00:02:02,539 --> 00:02:03,789
Did we have
a conversation
scheduled?

44
00:02:03,873 --> 00:02:06,792
Number one,
do not leave your
things on my desk.

45
00:02:06,876 --> 00:02:09,586
lt's not some kind of
personal pen
receptacle for you.

46
00:02:09,671 --> 00:02:11,338
l don't care how high
they promote you.

47
00:02:11,422 --> 00:02:14,133
Which brings me
to item number two.

48
00:02:14,217 --> 00:02:16,552
l never formally
congratulated you
on your promotion,

49
00:02:16,636 --> 00:02:20,931
so l'd just like to
say congratulations.

50
00:02:21,933 --> 00:02:26,103
Wow. That's really
thoughtful of you,
Dwight. Thank you.

51
00:02:26,187 --> 00:02:27,187
You're welcome.

52
00:02:27,272 --> 00:02:28,272
(MlMlCS QUACKlNG)

53
00:02:28,690 --> 00:02:31,316
l inserted a listening device
into the belly of the mallard.

54
00:02:31,776 --> 00:02:35,654
Now l can observe Jim,
track Jim, and destroy Jim.

55
00:02:35,738 --> 00:02:37,447
Just Iike in
the Bavarian fairytale.

56
00:02:38,074 --> 00:02:41,869
OnIy this time
the maIIard skins
the toad aIive.

57
00:02:43,288 --> 00:02:44,288
And, of course,
in this version,

58
00:02:44,372 --> 00:02:47,040
you lose the whole veiled
critique of the Kaiser thing.

59
00:02:47,584 --> 00:02:51,086
l'm sorry to have
been bugging you
all these years.

60
00:02:52,630 --> 00:02:53,672
lt's a real
handsome duck.

61
00:02:53,756 --> 00:02:54,756
Mallard.

62
00:02:54,841 --> 00:02:56,925
Okay, l'll get out
of your hair.

63
00:03:03,433 --> 00:03:04,516
Hey.
Hey.

64
00:03:04,601 --> 00:03:06,476
We brought back some
Puerto Rican candy.

65
00:03:06,561 --> 00:03:08,645
Coco-Leche.
That's my favorite.
Awesome.

66
00:03:08,730 --> 00:03:10,439
l'll leave it up here
so everyone can enjoy it.

67
00:03:10,523 --> 00:03:13,775
Oh, let me just check
with Michael first.

68
00:03:13,860 --> 00:03:15,944
l think it'll be okay.

69
00:03:16,029 --> 00:03:18,822
l think it will, too,
but l'll just check
with him, though.

70
00:03:18,907 --> 00:03:19,865
Great.

71
00:03:19,949 --> 00:03:22,492
Oops. Sorry. Oops!

72
00:03:31,961 --> 00:03:33,462
l have recently
taken a lover.

73
00:03:33,546 --> 00:03:36,131
Well, that's great.
Congratulations.

74
00:03:36,758 --> 00:03:38,008
Who's the lucky lady?

75
00:03:38,092 --> 00:03:39,301
Pam's mom.

76
00:03:40,845 --> 00:03:43,305
What?
Pam's mom, Helene.

77
00:03:43,389 --> 00:03:44,640
Remember,
from your wedding?

78
00:03:45,141 --> 00:03:47,100
You're messing with me.
About what?

79
00:03:47,185 --> 00:03:48,894
You did not have
sex with Pam's mom.

80
00:03:48,978 --> 00:03:50,020
Oh, big time.

81
00:03:50,104 --> 00:03:51,104
What kind of car
does she drive?

82
00:03:51,147 --> 00:03:52,731
She drives
a green Camry,
(BLEEP)

83
00:03:52,815 --> 00:03:55,567
and the seats go
all the way down.

84
00:03:55,652 --> 00:03:56,610
All the way down.

85
00:03:56,694 --> 00:04:00,072
Oh, my God.

86
00:04:00,156 --> 00:04:01,782
(LAUGHS) What?

87
00:04:01,866 --> 00:04:04,409
Okay, never tell Pam,
and then, secondly. . .

88
00:04:04,494 --> 00:04:06,995
Good. A pact. A pact.

89
00:04:07,080 --> 00:04:08,247
Although, l may have
to break it tonight,

90
00:04:08,331 --> 00:04:11,250
when Helene and l
tell Pam over dinner.

91
00:04:11,334 --> 00:04:12,376
You all right?

92
00:04:12,460 --> 00:04:13,502
Oh, my God.

93
00:04:13,544 --> 00:04:15,587
Hey, Jim. . .
Not now, Toby.
My God !

94
00:04:15,672 --> 00:04:17,589
Jesus.
Get the hell
out of here, idiot!

95
00:04:17,674 --> 00:04:18,715
TOBY: What did l do?

96
00:04:18,800 --> 00:04:21,301
Okay, as far as dinner
tonight, cancel that,

97
00:04:21,386 --> 00:04:23,387
and please,
for both of our sakes,

98
00:04:23,471 --> 00:04:27,266
never, ever,
ever see her again.

99
00:04:27,350 --> 00:04:29,226
l think you're
underestimating Pam.

100
00:04:29,310 --> 00:04:31,728
l think more than anything,
she wants me to be happy.

101
00:04:31,813 --> 00:04:33,689
No. Not more
than anything.

102
00:04:33,773 --> 00:04:34,982
Okay. l. . .

103
00:04:35,108 --> 00:04:37,109
l have a good
thing with the mom.
Don't call her "the mom."

104
00:04:37,193 --> 00:04:38,485
She's right on my way
home from work.

105
00:04:38,569 --> 00:04:39,945
Then take a different
way home, man !

106
00:04:40,029 --> 00:04:43,365
All right,
l'll take surface streets.

107
00:04:43,783 --> 00:04:46,285
The last thing in the
world l would want
to do is upset Pam.

108
00:04:46,369 --> 00:04:47,869
Okay. So, we're good.

109
00:04:47,954 --> 00:04:49,037
Yeah.

110
00:04:53,376 --> 00:04:55,919
Can you change
my dinner reservations
from four people to two?

111
00:04:56,004 --> 00:04:58,255
Sure. ls it okay
if l put out some candy

112
00:04:58,339 --> 00:04:59,840
that Pam brought back
from Puerto Rico?

113
00:04:59,924 --> 00:05:01,925
Sure.
Thanks for asking.

114
00:05:02,010 --> 00:05:03,552
Pam, we're all set.

115
00:05:09,392 --> 00:05:10,517
Yum.

116
00:05:12,895 --> 00:05:15,522
(lN HUSKY TONE)
Frank and Beans!

117
00:05:16,607 --> 00:05:18,900
So, what'd we decide
for Michael?

118
00:05:18,985 --> 00:05:21,778
The bottle of rum
or the seashell
alarm clock?

119
00:05:21,863 --> 00:05:24,781
You know what, can l have
the weekend to decide?

120
00:05:24,866 --> 00:05:26,616
Bottle of rum it is.

121
00:05:27,744 --> 00:05:29,828
All right, shall we?
You know what?

122
00:05:29,912 --> 00:05:32,664
l am really slammed
trying to catch up
on everything here,

123
00:05:32,749 --> 00:05:34,833
and l know that
Michael's slammed, too,

124
00:05:34,917 --> 00:05:38,837
so maybe we should
do this when things
are a little less crazy.

125
00:05:42,675 --> 00:05:44,134
Come on,
it'll take
two seconds.

126
00:05:44,218 --> 00:05:45,635
No, it. . .

127
00:05:50,183 --> 00:05:52,100
(STATlC BUZZlNG)

128
00:06:00,360 --> 00:06:01,610
(SlGHS)

129
00:06:07,825 --> 00:06:10,327
Oh, wow.

130
00:06:10,536 --> 00:06:13,914
That is amazing.
l feel like a real
Puerto Rican.

131
00:06:13,998 --> 00:06:15,332
Michael, you're all
set at Botticelli's.

132
00:06:15,416 --> 00:06:16,875
l changed the reservation
to two people.

133
00:06:16,959 --> 00:06:18,335
Erin, look.

134
00:06:18,711 --> 00:06:20,087
Fun.
MlCHAEL: Yeah.

135
00:06:21,339 --> 00:06:24,216
Wow, Botticelli's.
That sounds like
a special occasion.

136
00:06:24,300 --> 00:06:26,134
Yeah, no,
it's nobody.

137
00:06:27,303 --> 00:06:29,846
l don't know.
l think Michael
has a date.

138
00:06:29,931 --> 00:06:31,556
No.
Yeah, l think
you have a date.

139
00:06:31,641 --> 00:06:33,308
l don't, l don't.
Come on.

140
00:06:33,393 --> 00:06:34,976
Ah, l think
we should
just drop it.

141
00:06:35,061 --> 00:06:37,604
Because obviously
he doesn't want
to talk about it.

142
00:06:37,688 --> 00:06:39,439
l don't deserve this, guys.
JlM: Yes, you do.

143
00:06:39,524 --> 00:06:41,858
No, l don't.
Just take the parrot.

144
00:06:41,943 --> 00:06:43,402
(SlGHS)

145
00:06:43,486 --> 00:06:45,487
Okay, back to
the old grind.

146
00:06:45,571 --> 00:06:47,447
l was probably going to
break up with her anyway.

147
00:06:47,532 --> 00:06:49,241
Oh ! That's too bad.
Don't.

148
00:06:49,325 --> 00:06:50,992
Pam, it is very
complicated.

149
00:06:51,077 --> 00:06:52,244
There are a lot of
moving parts here.

150
00:06:52,328 --> 00:06:53,495
Sounds complicated.

151
00:06:53,579 --> 00:06:55,747
Yeah, but, l mean,
if you really
like this person,

152
00:06:55,832 --> 00:06:57,499
then you should
see where it goes.

153
00:06:57,583 --> 00:06:58,625
You want me
to be happy?

154
00:06:58,709 --> 00:07:00,335
PAM: Of course.

155
00:07:00,420 --> 00:07:04,798
Part of the problem is
she's the mother of
a close friend of mine.

156
00:07:05,299 --> 00:07:06,299
Oh.

157
00:07:06,384 --> 00:07:08,844
More than a friend.
A coworker.

158
00:07:09,053 --> 00:07:11,888
Oh, gossip.
Who is it?

159
00:07:14,559 --> 00:07:15,976
Who is it?

160
00:07:17,854 --> 00:07:19,646
Who is it,
Michael?

161
00:07:22,525 --> 00:07:23,942
Who?

162
00:07:24,026 --> 00:07:25,068
lt's okay.

163
00:07:27,071 --> 00:07:28,697
No, no, no, no, no.

164
00:07:29,031 --> 00:07:33,243
No. Oh, my God !
Oh, my God !

165
00:07:33,327 --> 00:07:35,912
(SCREAMlNG) No!

166
00:07:36,372 --> 00:07:38,457
That could have
gone one of two ways,

167
00:07:38,541 --> 00:07:41,042
but l never
expected her
to get upset.

168
00:07:43,671 --> 00:07:45,464
(SCREAMlNG)

169
00:07:46,716 --> 00:07:47,716
(SlGHS)

170
00:07:47,800 --> 00:07:51,470
You seem tense.
Hey, you want me to
give you the chills?

171
00:07:53,222 --> 00:07:54,389
Okay.

172
00:07:59,937 --> 00:08:03,857
(SlNGlNG)
There's an egg on your head
And the yolk is running down

173
00:08:03,941 --> 00:08:05,025
The yolk is running down

174
00:08:05,109 --> 00:08:06,151
(BREATHES DEEPLY)
Feels good.

175
00:08:06,235 --> 00:08:09,571
There's a knife in your back
And the blood is gushing down

176
00:08:09,655 --> 00:08:12,449
Sleeping with Pam's mom.
Sometimes dinner.

177
00:08:13,826 --> 00:08:17,579
The blood is gushing down
The blood is gushing down

178
00:08:18,915 --> 00:08:20,999
You know,
l really would have
appreciated a heads-up

179
00:08:21,083 --> 00:08:22,417
that you were
into dating mothers.

180
00:08:22,502 --> 00:08:24,794
l would have
introduced you
to mine.

181
00:08:24,879 --> 00:08:28,089
How could you
do this to me?
He's my boss.

182
00:08:28,758 --> 00:08:31,927
How many times
have l complained
about him to you?

183
00:08:32,261 --> 00:08:35,472
No, l am not
being dramatic,
you are being crazy!

184
00:08:37,934 --> 00:08:40,560
(SlNG-SONG)
Who wants a hot chocolate?

185
00:08:40,645 --> 00:08:42,103
Thank you.

186
00:08:44,190 --> 00:08:45,565
(EXHALES)

187
00:08:46,025 --> 00:08:49,611
So, Dwight gave me this
wooden mallard as a gift.

188
00:08:49,695 --> 00:08:52,155
l found a recording
device in it.

189
00:08:53,115 --> 00:08:57,118
Yes. So, l think
if l play it just right,

190
00:08:57,620 --> 00:09:01,206
l can get Dwight to
live out the plot of
NationaI Treasure.

191
00:09:01,290 --> 00:09:05,335
You need to be more
upset about this.
She's your mother, too, now.

192
00:09:07,213 --> 00:09:10,131
Your mother is sleeping
with Michael Scott.

193
00:09:13,511 --> 00:09:15,428
Andy, can l talk
to you for a second?

194
00:09:15,513 --> 00:09:17,347
Sure thing,
Tuna boss.

195
00:09:28,609 --> 00:09:30,944
ANDY: How may I be
of service to you?

196
00:09:31,237 --> 00:09:34,030
l am going to need
your advice.

197
00:09:34,156 --> 00:09:36,116
(OPERATlC MUSlC PLAYlNG)

198
00:09:47,128 --> 00:09:49,421
l was thinking of
getting this opera
for Dwight's birthday.

199
00:09:49,505 --> 00:09:51,214
What do you think?

200
00:09:51,632 --> 00:09:53,008
(lNAUDlBLE)

201
00:09:54,093 --> 00:09:56,511
This aria is a joke.
Really?

202
00:09:56,596 --> 00:09:57,846
What are you thinking?

203
00:09:57,930 --> 00:09:59,347
(lNAUDlBLE)

204
00:10:00,725 --> 00:10:01,808
l was going to go
with this one.

205
00:10:01,892 --> 00:10:04,686
Let me tell you something,
if you respect him at all,

206
00:10:04,770 --> 00:10:07,230
you will get him
something better.

207
00:10:11,485 --> 00:10:13,111
Nard-Dog, what was
that all about?

208
00:10:13,195 --> 00:10:14,446
l know, right?

209
00:10:14,530 --> 00:10:15,989
What were you guys
talking about in there?

210
00:10:16,073 --> 00:10:18,533
Trust me, it would
only make you mad.

211
00:10:31,380 --> 00:10:33,298
Due to a certain
recent incident,

212
00:10:33,382 --> 00:10:36,051
corporate has asked
all the branches to
come up with ideas

213
00:10:36,135 --> 00:10:40,639
as to how we can
better communicate
with our communities.

214
00:10:40,723 --> 00:10:44,184
ls this because of
the 60 Minutes segment
about working conditions

215
00:10:44,268 --> 00:10:45,310
in our Peruvian
paper mill?

216
00:10:45,394 --> 00:10:46,978
That was a hit job.

217
00:10:47,063 --> 00:10:50,565
lf you read
the Dunder Mifflin press
release, it clearly states

218
00:10:50,650 --> 00:10:53,109
that they had absolutely
nothing to do

219
00:10:53,194 --> 00:10:55,236
with that particular
cancer cluster.

220
00:10:55,863 --> 00:10:58,156
So, if there is a lesson
to be learned here,

221
00:10:58,240 --> 00:10:59,908
and l'm not sure
that there is,

222
00:10:59,992 --> 00:11:02,661
it is that in order to
help our communities,

223
00:11:02,745 --> 00:11:05,538
we need to put
other people's needs
ahead of our own.

224
00:11:05,623 --> 00:11:06,665
(SCOFFS)

225
00:11:06,749 --> 00:11:09,918
And whoever comes up
with the best idea gets
a $50 gift certificate

226
00:11:10,002 --> 00:11:11,878
to the restaurant
of his or her choice.
(ALL CHEERlNG)

227
00:11:11,962 --> 00:11:13,797
Yeah.
MlCHAEL: Good, good.

228
00:11:13,881 --> 00:11:17,759
Okay, who wants
to help the world
one step at a time?

229
00:11:18,260 --> 00:11:19,344
All right, good.

230
00:11:19,428 --> 00:11:20,428
Volunteerism is important.

231
00:11:20,554 --> 00:11:22,722
Every weekend l volunteer
at the local animal shelter,

232
00:11:22,807 --> 00:11:24,766
and they need a lot
of help down there.

233
00:11:24,850 --> 00:11:27,560
Last Sunday,
l had to put down over
1 50 pets all by myself.

234
00:11:27,645 --> 00:11:28,728
All right,
that's. . .

235
00:11:28,854 --> 00:11:31,314
Paint a mural of
Chicano leaders.
All right.

236
00:11:31,399 --> 00:11:34,526
l have a way to make
Scranton a better place.
You could leave it.

237
00:11:34,610 --> 00:11:35,735
(ALL LAUGHlNG)

238
00:11:35,820 --> 00:11:38,029
Okay, l'm out of here.
See you later, guys.

239
00:11:38,114 --> 00:11:39,614
ANDY: And stay out.
Bye-bye.

240
00:11:40,408 --> 00:11:43,076
Okay. Oh, no,
here's an idea.
Conservation.

241
00:11:43,160 --> 00:11:45,036
l love it,
conservation.

242
00:11:45,121 --> 00:11:47,706
Let's start by
conserving our time

243
00:11:47,790 --> 00:11:49,916
and stop having
these stupid meetings.

244
00:11:50,876 --> 00:11:57,424
No more meetings!
No more meetings!

245
00:11:59,343 --> 00:12:00,927
Anybody else?
Who else has an idea?

246
00:12:01,011 --> 00:12:03,012
l have some ideas
about conservation.
JlM: Yes.

247
00:12:03,097 --> 00:12:04,222
Angela.
Thank you.

248
00:12:04,306 --> 00:12:05,306
(CELL PHONE RlNGlNG)

249
00:12:05,391 --> 00:12:07,183
Please.
Can you hold
down the fort?

250
00:12:07,268 --> 00:12:09,561
Hey, boo.
ANGELA: Well, first of all,
l think that we could. . .

251
00:12:09,645 --> 00:12:10,645
Why are you crying?

252
00:12:10,730 --> 00:12:12,230
JlM: Yes, l think we
should look into that.
(SHUSHlNG)

253
00:12:12,314 --> 00:12:14,357
lf you could just
speak up louder.

254
00:12:14,483 --> 00:12:15,692
Well, for our
profit and loss. . .
MlCHAEL: No, no.

255
00:12:15,776 --> 00:12:16,818
(SHUSHlNG)

256
00:12:16,902 --> 00:12:21,448
No, l'll talk to her.
l will. No, nobody talks
to my baby that way. Uh-uh.

257
00:12:21,782 --> 00:12:25,660
Yeah, l'll let you know
how it goes. All right.
Bye, pickle.

258
00:12:26,495 --> 00:12:28,621
PHYLLlS: Who's pickle?
KEVlN: Who's pickle?

259
00:12:29,123 --> 00:12:30,749
Pamela Morgan Beesly.

260
00:12:30,833 --> 00:12:33,376
You need to apologize
to your mother right now.

261
00:12:33,502 --> 00:12:35,920
l'm sorry, l was told
l had the floor.
Yes.

262
00:12:36,005 --> 00:12:37,255
Hold on, hold on.
What's going on?

263
00:12:37,339 --> 00:12:38,423
Nothing.

264
00:12:38,507 --> 00:12:40,925
Nothing at all.
lt's all good.

265
00:12:41,010 --> 00:12:45,680
l'm not apologizing to anyone.
Michael owes me an apology.

266
00:12:45,765 --> 00:12:47,599
For trying to find happiness
in the arms of a lover?

267
00:12:47,683 --> 00:12:49,392
Don't call my mother
your lover.

268
00:12:49,477 --> 00:12:50,435
(ALL EXCLAlM)

269
00:12:50,519 --> 00:12:51,936
Oh, yes! That's what
l'm talking about.

270
00:12:52,021 --> 00:12:53,646
That is not okay, dude.

271
00:12:53,731 --> 00:12:54,939
All right,
in my defense. . .

272
00:12:55,024 --> 00:12:56,816
Disgusting.
That's messed up, man.

273
00:12:56,901 --> 00:12:59,277
Yes, thank you.
Welcome to my personal hell.

274
00:12:59,361 --> 00:13:01,613
You have no sense of
boundaries, Michael.
Shut up, Oscar.

275
00:13:01,697 --> 00:13:04,032
Hey, all right,
you know what? Clearly,
l'm outnumbered here.

276
00:13:04,116 --> 00:13:07,494
But can l just say
one thing? Please?

277
00:13:08,370 --> 00:13:10,413
What is so wrong
about me?

278
00:13:10,956 --> 00:13:13,708
l'm caring,
l'm generous.

279
00:13:15,836 --> 00:13:17,253
l'm sensual.

280
00:13:18,005 --> 00:13:24,427
ls it really so horrible
that l could possibly go
out and find happiness?

281
00:13:29,141 --> 00:13:32,811
(SlGHS) Good luck, Michael.
l hope you find what
you're looking for.

282
00:13:32,895 --> 00:13:34,062
Maybe you're right.
Who are we to. . .

283
00:13:34,146 --> 00:13:35,230
Shut up, Oscar!

284
00:13:35,314 --> 00:13:36,731
What is wrong
with all of you?

285
00:13:36,816 --> 00:13:39,234
He is sleeping
with my mother!

286
00:13:39,318 --> 00:13:41,569
l don't think
there's a whole lot
of sleeping going on.

287
00:13:41,654 --> 00:13:43,947
Let's get back to
the matter at hand.

288
00:13:44,031 --> 00:13:45,365
Whatever, you know.

289
00:13:45,449 --> 00:13:47,450
Sleep with my mom,
just sleep with
everybody's mom.

290
00:13:47,535 --> 00:13:48,493
No, no, no,
no, no. . . No.

291
00:13:48,577 --> 00:13:50,495
This is not. . .
RYAN: Whoa! That's my mom
you're talking about.

292
00:13:50,579 --> 00:13:51,871
l don't like
the tone here.

293
00:13:51,956 --> 00:13:54,499
This is a place of business.
You are to listen to others,

294
00:13:54,583 --> 00:13:56,000
you are to give
others respect,

295
00:13:56,085 --> 00:13:58,169
and you are to keep
your personal issues
out of it.

296
00:13:58,254 --> 00:14:00,588
(LAUGHS) Oh, my God !
You are ridiculous!

297
00:14:00,673 --> 00:14:02,924
Do not talk
to me that way!

298
00:14:03,008 --> 00:14:06,553
l am your boss
and l may someday be
your father, so get out.

299
00:14:06,637 --> 00:14:09,764
You are never
going to be my father.
You get out.

300
00:14:09,849 --> 00:14:13,768
l hope that you are
willing to die in this
office, because l am.

301
00:14:14,270 --> 00:14:15,520
Me, too.

302
00:14:19,483 --> 00:14:20,692
Hey.
Hey.

303
00:14:20,901 --> 00:14:23,278
Pam, how's your day going?

304
00:14:23,362 --> 00:14:26,364
Pam, just for the record,
l think you're
overreacting a little bit.

305
00:14:26,448 --> 00:14:28,449
Your mom's old enough
to make her own decisions.

306
00:14:28,534 --> 00:14:30,702
Oh, well, thanks, Oscar.

307
00:14:30,786 --> 00:14:32,161
l was just wondering,
how would you feel

308
00:14:32,246 --> 00:14:33,955
if Michael was sleeping
with your mom?

309
00:14:34,039 --> 00:14:36,165
My mother's
in a wheelchair.

310
00:14:36,667 --> 00:14:38,585
Well, he could still. . .

311
00:14:40,504 --> 00:14:42,338
l'm sorry about that.

312
00:14:43,257 --> 00:14:46,551
Could l just get you to sign
the second page as well?

313
00:14:46,635 --> 00:14:49,220
KELLY: (ON EARPHONES)
Ryan, I have to ask you
a personal question.

314
00:14:49,305 --> 00:14:51,055
Do you think that
I should get a fedora?

315
00:14:51,140 --> 00:14:53,099
RYAN: (ON EARPHONES)
l don't think so, no.

316
00:14:53,517 --> 00:14:54,809
KELLY: Why?
I think I'd Iook
really hot in one.

317
00:14:54,894 --> 00:14:56,102
Where did you
get your fedora?

318
00:14:56,186 --> 00:14:57,395
RYAN: I'd rather
not say.

319
00:14:57,479 --> 00:14:59,772
KELLY: You think
I'm going to get the
same fedora as you?

320
00:14:59,857 --> 00:15:00,982
Hey, Dwight.
Shh !

321
00:15:01,108 --> 00:15:03,234
RYAN: . . .natural look.
KELLY: l think l would
look really cute in it.

322
00:15:03,319 --> 00:15:04,861
lt has to go
with the persona that
you already have.

323
00:15:04,945 --> 00:15:06,154
Well, l think
l have that persona.

324
00:15:06,238 --> 00:15:07,405
Where did you
get that mallard?

325
00:15:07,489 --> 00:15:08,448
What the hell
is a mallard?

326
00:15:08,532 --> 00:15:09,866
That!

327
00:15:10,409 --> 00:15:13,411
Oh, Professor Damon D. Duck.
Jim gave him to me.

328
00:15:13,495 --> 00:15:15,914
Okay, l gave that
to him as a gift.
l'm taking that back.

329
00:15:15,998 --> 00:15:17,749
lf you take it back,
l'll scream.

330
00:15:17,833 --> 00:15:19,083
(SlGHS)

331
00:15:20,169 --> 00:15:21,294
l'll give you
five bucks for it.

332
00:15:21,378 --> 00:15:22,712
Twenty.

333
00:15:22,796 --> 00:15:24,172
Ten.
Deal.

334
00:15:28,636 --> 00:15:30,094
You're so cool.

335
00:15:30,179 --> 00:15:33,306
This reminds me,
you owe me three
bucks for gas.

336
00:15:34,600 --> 00:15:35,892
Hey, Toby, can l talk
to you for a minute?

337
00:15:35,976 --> 00:15:36,976
Yeah, sure.

338
00:15:37,061 --> 00:15:38,937
What's up?
l just wanted to apologize

339
00:15:39,021 --> 00:15:40,939
for taking that tone
with you earlier.

340
00:15:41,023 --> 00:15:43,191
That was uncalled for.
l'm sorry.

341
00:15:43,275 --> 00:15:46,986
Yeah. That means a lot.
Thank you for saying it.

342
00:15:47,071 --> 00:15:48,071
Can l sit down
for a second?

343
00:15:48,155 --> 00:15:49,113
Yeah,
or pull up a chair,

344
00:15:49,198 --> 00:15:50,490
or you can sit
on the shredder.

345
00:15:50,574 --> 00:15:51,908
(CLEARS THROAT)

346
00:15:54,578 --> 00:15:56,788
This is going
to sound weird,

347
00:15:57,373 --> 00:16:00,792
but l think l may be
the victim of a hostile
work environment

348
00:16:00,876 --> 00:16:02,627
with this whole
Pam situation.

349
00:16:02,711 --> 00:16:05,463
You should probably
deal with that outside
of the workplace.

350
00:16:05,547 --> 00:16:07,090
She brought it
into the workplace,

351
00:16:07,174 --> 00:16:09,467
so l feel like it has
to be dealt with here.

352
00:16:09,551 --> 00:16:12,470
Yeah.
Okay, well, l mean,
l could talk to her.

353
00:16:12,554 --> 00:16:13,554
Really?
Yeah.

354
00:16:13,639 --> 00:16:15,348
Would you do that?
Yeah.

355
00:16:15,432 --> 00:16:17,684
That's why they
pay me the big bucks.

356
00:16:17,768 --> 00:16:19,102
(CHUCKLES)

357
00:16:22,231 --> 00:16:24,232
You're a good, good guy.

358
00:16:25,067 --> 00:16:26,109
Okay.

359
00:16:26,193 --> 00:16:29,112
You know, l always knew
if Michael just took
the time to get to know me,

360
00:16:29,196 --> 00:16:30,697
we'd become friends.

361
00:16:32,032 --> 00:16:34,951
Hey, Pam, could l talk
to you for a sec?

362
00:16:36,453 --> 00:16:38,413
Sure. What's up?

363
00:16:38,497 --> 00:16:42,417
Well, l was hoping that
maybe in light of everything
that's happened today,

364
00:16:42,501 --> 00:16:45,086
it would be a good idea
if you and me and Michael

365
00:16:45,170 --> 00:16:48,006
head into the conference room
for some conflict resolution.

366
00:16:48,090 --> 00:16:49,549
What's the matter?
Can't fight
your own battles?

367
00:16:49,633 --> 00:16:52,176
No, that's. . .

368
00:16:52,261 --> 00:16:54,512
Maybe you should just
take the rest of
the day off, you know?

369
00:16:54,596 --> 00:16:56,431
Oh, would that make
you feel better?

370
00:16:56,515 --> 00:16:59,142
l don't. . . l can't hear
your conversation.

371
00:16:59,226 --> 00:17:02,103
You can tell Michael
that l'm not leaving.

372
00:17:07,317 --> 00:17:09,068
Buddy,
l think that you can't
make her leave. . .

373
00:17:09,153 --> 00:17:10,695
Yeah, yeah, okay,
you're a jackass.

374
00:17:10,779 --> 00:17:14,365
Hey, hey, you know what?
You're just as stubborn
as your mother.

375
00:17:14,450 --> 00:17:16,075
When you don't
want to do something,
you just don't do it.

376
00:17:16,160 --> 00:17:17,160
(LAUGHlNG)

377
00:17:17,244 --> 00:17:19,037
Michael,
you're just
her rebound !

378
00:17:19,121 --> 00:17:20,955
You were right,
Jim, l should have
listened to you.

379
00:17:21,040 --> 00:17:22,957
Should never
have told her.

380
00:17:23,042 --> 00:17:24,751
What? You knew?

381
00:17:24,835 --> 00:17:25,835
(SCOFFS)

382
00:17:26,336 --> 00:17:29,922
Barely. l. . .
l don't have
all the facts.

383
00:17:31,300 --> 00:17:33,134
(lN HUSKY TONE)
Frank and Beans.

384
00:17:35,971 --> 00:17:38,765
Okay, do you want me
to stop dating your mom?

385
00:17:38,849 --> 00:17:41,267
ls that how we're
going to get past this?
Because l will.

386
00:17:41,351 --> 00:17:43,728
Hmm. Yes.

387
00:17:43,812 --> 00:17:45,188
Well, that is not
going to happen.

388
00:17:45,272 --> 00:17:46,564
Then why did you
even offer?

389
00:17:46,648 --> 00:17:49,484
Because l assumed that
you want me to be happy,

390
00:17:49,568 --> 00:17:52,070
because l want
you to be happy.

391
00:17:52,154 --> 00:17:54,906
Michael, let me make
this very easy for you.

392
00:17:54,990 --> 00:17:58,993
l could give a (BLEEP)
about your happiness.
Stop dating my mother!

393
00:18:00,662 --> 00:18:02,830
You know what?
l'm going to start
dating her even harder.

394
00:18:02,915 --> 00:18:04,082
What's that
supposed to mean?

395
00:18:04,166 --> 00:18:05,583
You know what it means.

396
00:18:11,507 --> 00:18:12,548
Hey.
Shut it.

397
00:18:12,633 --> 00:18:13,800
Yep.

398
00:18:14,968 --> 00:18:17,220
l don't need to be
friends with Pam.

399
00:18:17,304 --> 00:18:19,097
l have plenty of
female friends.

400
00:18:19,181 --> 00:18:25,353
My mom, Pam's mom, my aunt,
although she just
blocked me on lM.

401
00:18:26,355 --> 00:18:29,982
What's-her-face from Quiznos.
l see her four times a week.

402
00:18:36,031 --> 00:18:38,074
Dwight, you brought
the mallard back.

403
00:18:38,158 --> 00:18:41,035
Well, l had to.
l mean, Kelly was not. . .

404
00:18:41,370 --> 00:18:42,703
Hi, buddy.

405
00:18:56,301 --> 00:18:57,760
l'm sorry.
A wooden duck?

406
00:18:57,845 --> 00:19:03,224
Mallard.
l put it in your office
in order to surveil you.

407
00:19:04,893 --> 00:19:07,019
l was jealous that
you got the promotion
over me.

408
00:19:07,104 --> 00:19:09,814
Okay, just to be clear,
you're terrible at this.

409
00:19:09,940 --> 00:19:11,816
And you're not
equipped for espionage.
l'm equipped. . .

410
00:19:11,900 --> 00:19:13,151
Stop.

411
00:19:14,278 --> 00:19:15,278
Don't tell Michael.

412
00:19:15,362 --> 00:19:16,445
l won't.

413
00:19:16,530 --> 00:19:19,031
But you will wash
and buff our car.

414
00:19:19,575 --> 00:19:22,160
Punishment
fits the crime.
l accept.

415
00:19:23,328 --> 00:19:26,914
Good night, everyone.
Night, Pam.

416
00:19:27,666 --> 00:19:29,792
Thanks again
for the rum.

417
00:19:31,086 --> 00:19:33,838
Good night, Michael.
Good night, Erin.

418
00:19:36,049 --> 00:19:38,718
Hey, Pam,
can l see you
for a second?

419
00:19:42,556 --> 00:19:45,808
So, Dwight heard
you were having
a really rough day,

420
00:19:45,893 --> 00:19:48,686
so he generously
offered to wash our car.

421
00:19:50,272 --> 00:19:51,731
Aw, he did that for me?

422
00:19:51,815 --> 00:19:53,691
Yes, he did.

423
00:19:55,652 --> 00:19:57,445
You know what was nice?

424
00:19:57,529 --> 00:19:59,572
Night swimming in Biobay.

425
00:20:00,157 --> 00:20:02,783
Remember that older couple
whose kids were aIso
named Jim and Pam?

426
00:20:02,868 --> 00:20:04,035
PAM: (CHUCKLES) Yeah.

427
00:20:06,955 --> 00:20:08,247
Say more nice things.

428
00:20:08,332 --> 00:20:12,210
Well, we went on
a Segway tour,
and we're awesome at it.

429
00:20:12,294 --> 00:20:13,753
Yes, we are.

430
00:20:13,837 --> 00:20:16,172
(lN HUSKY TONE)
And Frank and Beans.

431
00:20:19,092 --> 00:20:20,676
Maybe l'm overreacting.

432
00:20:20,761 --> 00:20:22,553
Yeah, maybe.

433
00:20:23,805 --> 00:20:24,805
But l don't think l am.

434
00:20:24,890 --> 00:20:26,766
You're not, nope.

435
00:20:26,850 --> 00:20:27,892
(SlGHS)

436
00:20:27,976 --> 00:20:29,060
Nope.

437
00:20:32,314 --> 00:20:34,607
KEVlN: Oh !
Where did you
get that hat?

438
00:20:34,691 --> 00:20:35,900
l'd rather not say.

439
00:20:39,071 --> 00:20:40,488
(DOOR SHUTS)

440
00:20:59,633 --> 00:21:02,385
JIM: We have our high
quality 28-pound bond,

441
00:21:02,469 --> 00:21:07,014
our heavier
38-pound bond,
or our...

442
00:21:07,849 --> 00:21:09,934
l've got eight
hours of this.

443
00:21:11,895 --> 00:21:15,940
Of course l wanted
Jim to find the mallard.
Make him feel safe.

444
00:21:16,024 --> 00:21:19,360
Did you really think
l would put my primary
listening device

445
00:21:19,444 --> 00:21:20,903
in a wooden mallard?

446
00:21:22,114 --> 00:21:23,656
l'm not insane.

447
00:21:25,033 --> 00:21:27,743
JIM: Fifty-five pound
cover stock, which is
the heaviest paper

448
00:21:27,828 --> 00:21:30,037
that will still feed smoothly
through your desktop printer.