1
00:00:03,753 --> 00:00:05,671
You wanted to see me?
Yeah, have a seat.

2
00:00:05,755 --> 00:00:07,256
ls it serious?

3
00:00:09,426 --> 00:00:11,969
Wow. Andy's
a little scared.

4
00:00:12,053 --> 00:00:13,178
Okay, right there.

5
00:00:14,639 --> 00:00:16,390
Right there's the problem.

6
00:00:16,474 --> 00:00:18,892
There have been reports
around the office

7
00:00:18,977 --> 00:00:22,521
that you have been
talking baby talk.

8
00:00:22,605 --> 00:00:23,689
Why would people
say that?

9
00:00:23,773 --> 00:00:29,111
Well, l have it
on good authority that
you said the following.

10
00:00:29,404 --> 00:00:30,988
Can you read that
back to me?

11
00:00:31,114 --> 00:00:33,115
"Andy have
a boo-boo tummy."
Mmm-hmm.

12
00:00:33,366 --> 00:00:35,826
Would you rather me say,

13
00:00:35,910 --> 00:00:39,872
"Hey, guys,
my irritable bowel
syndrome is flaring up."

14
00:00:39,956 --> 00:00:42,166
Okay.
"Crazy diarrhea
happening right now."

15
00:00:42,250 --> 00:00:43,959
'Cause things can get
real adult real fast.

16
00:00:44,044 --> 00:00:45,878
You are also on
record as saying,

17
00:00:45,962 --> 00:00:48,172
"Wittle-ittle,
footie-wooties, num-nums,

18
00:00:48,256 --> 00:00:52,134
"jammies, make boom-boom,
widiciwus, and Whode lsland."

19
00:00:52,969 --> 00:00:55,429
Do l sometimes
replace Rs with Ws?

20
00:00:55,555 --> 00:00:57,514
Do l sometimes
repeat a word to get
my point across?

21
00:00:57,599 --> 00:01:00,642
Well, if l do,
Andy's sowwy.

22
00:01:00,727 --> 00:01:03,729
You can't be a baby
in the office.

23
00:01:03,813 --> 00:01:06,440
lt makes me look
like l hire babies.

24
00:01:06,524 --> 00:01:07,608
Well, if we're
complaining,

25
00:01:07,692 --> 00:01:09,610
a lot of people think
your Elvis voice
is annoying.

26
00:01:09,694 --> 00:01:10,861
Okay. Who said that?

27
00:01:10,945 --> 00:01:12,071
Just people.

28
00:01:12,155 --> 00:01:15,115
For the record, l think
it's pretty fantastic.

29
00:01:15,200 --> 00:01:17,242
Thank you.
Thank you a lot.

30
00:01:17,869 --> 00:01:19,953
And for what it's worth,
l think your baby voice
is tops.

31
00:01:20,038 --> 00:01:22,039
Tank you, Mr. Elvis.

32
00:01:22,123 --> 00:01:23,332
You're welcome, baby.

33
00:01:48,024 --> 00:01:50,234
Dr. Tuna M. D. , l have
some terrible news.

34
00:01:50,318 --> 00:01:51,693
Wait, are you the patient
or the doctor?

35
00:01:51,778 --> 00:01:53,570
The entire office
has come down

36
00:01:53,655 --> 00:01:56,323
with a pernicious
case of the Mondays.

37
00:01:56,741 --> 00:01:58,283
Wow. What do you put
our chances at?

38
00:01:58,368 --> 00:01:59,535
0%.

39
00:02:00,078 --> 00:02:04,414
Unless we perform
an immediate emergency
morale transplant, stat!

40
00:02:05,208 --> 00:02:06,250
Sounds risky.

41
00:02:06,334 --> 00:02:08,669
Don't worry.
There is a surefire cure.

42
00:02:09,462 --> 00:02:13,382
Employee of the Month.
Every awesome place
l've worked had one.

43
00:02:13,550 --> 00:02:18,053
Bear Stearns,
Lehman Brothers, AlG,
my summer at Enron.

44
00:02:18,888 --> 00:02:21,098
Wow. That's not
such a bad idea.
Great.

45
00:02:21,182 --> 00:02:22,975
Anything else?
Nope.

46
00:02:26,104 --> 00:02:28,188
"Frankie's Dirty Joke
of the Day."

47
00:02:28,273 --> 00:02:29,857
There's a bunch of those.
Keep.

48
00:02:29,941 --> 00:02:32,484
There's a bunch
of sent emails that
just say "delivered."

49
00:02:32,569 --> 00:02:33,652
Should l delete those?

50
00:02:33,736 --> 00:02:36,155
l want to keep those
so l can see what l sent.

51
00:02:36,239 --> 00:02:37,406
That's why you have
a sent mail folder.

52
00:02:37,490 --> 00:02:38,532
Keep.

53
00:02:38,616 --> 00:02:41,577
There's about
three news alerts
from Nip Slip.

54
00:02:41,661 --> 00:02:43,453
For what?
Nip Slip.

55
00:02:43,538 --> 00:02:45,664
Okay. l don't know
how those get on there.

56
00:02:45,748 --> 00:02:46,748
Well. . .

57
00:02:46,875 --> 00:02:48,542
Must be hackers.
(KNOCKlNG ON DOOR)

58
00:02:48,626 --> 00:02:50,752
Hey, what's up?

59
00:02:51,087 --> 00:02:54,339
What if l told you
l had done the
worst thing ever?

60
00:02:54,424 --> 00:02:55,757
Would you still want
to be my friend?

61
00:02:55,842 --> 00:02:57,009
Did you murder someone?

62
00:02:57,093 --> 00:02:58,177
Worse than murder.

63
00:02:58,261 --> 00:02:59,428
Oh, my God.

64
00:02:59,846 --> 00:03:01,180
Lurk much?

65
00:03:03,016 --> 00:03:04,391
l miss Pam.

66
00:03:07,437 --> 00:03:08,437
l think she's okay.

67
00:03:08,521 --> 00:03:11,190
ls that what we're
going for now? "Okay"?

68
00:03:11,274 --> 00:03:12,941
We used to go
for "pretty good."

69
00:03:13,026 --> 00:03:14,067
Great.

70
00:03:14,152 --> 00:03:15,611
Hey, how do you feel
about starting

71
00:03:15,695 --> 00:03:17,112
an Employee of
the Month program?

72
00:03:17,197 --> 00:03:20,574
Yeah. You know what,
that actually might
make me feel better.

73
00:03:20,658 --> 00:03:21,950
l'm not in this for
the trophies, but. . .

74
00:03:22,035 --> 00:03:23,035
You're not in it at all

75
00:03:23,119 --> 00:03:24,995
'cause you can't be
Employee of the Month.
You're a manager.

76
00:03:25,079 --> 00:03:26,580
Well, technically
l am a co-manager

77
00:03:26,664 --> 00:03:28,457
and l barely have
any responsibilities.

78
00:03:28,583 --> 00:03:30,918
All right. Yeah.
But l work hard,
l love this company,

79
00:03:31,002 --> 00:03:33,462
and for those reasons
l think l would make a good
Employee of the Month.

80
00:03:33,546 --> 00:03:34,671
lt would look bad. Sorry.

81
00:03:34,756 --> 00:03:37,132
lt would look good
on my mantle.

82
00:03:37,717 --> 00:03:39,635
Jim's talking to
Michael right now.

83
00:03:39,719 --> 00:03:41,553
They totally
went for our idea!

84
00:03:41,638 --> 00:03:44,181
Yeah ! Your idea.

85
00:03:44,307 --> 00:03:45,515
My idea.

86
00:03:45,850 --> 00:03:47,517
l just need Andy to
think it's his idea

87
00:03:47,602 --> 00:03:50,354
so it won't get
traced back to me.

88
00:03:50,897 --> 00:03:55,317
ln approximately six hours
Jim will get a phone call
from David Wallace.

89
00:03:55,860 --> 00:03:57,194
He will be fired.

90
00:03:57,487 --> 00:04:01,031
Hey, Pam, do you have
a sec to check over
this itinerary?

91
00:04:02,242 --> 00:04:03,242
Looks great.

92
00:04:03,326 --> 00:04:06,203
Did you really look it over?
Felt like maybe you didn't.

93
00:04:06,287 --> 00:04:07,412
Okay.

94
00:04:08,665 --> 00:04:11,750
The Michael Scott Foundation
is still in existence.

95
00:04:11,834 --> 00:04:14,711
There you are.
l don't think we have
finished with my inbox.

96
00:04:14,796 --> 00:04:16,672
What's "Scott's Tots"?

97
00:04:17,507 --> 00:04:18,882
(LAUGHlNG)

98
00:04:22,262 --> 00:04:24,388
Has it really
been 1 0 years?

99
00:04:24,931 --> 00:04:27,099
(READlNG)

100
00:04:34,107 --> 00:04:36,233
Michael, why did you
promise that?

101
00:04:36,317 --> 00:04:37,567
To change lives.

102
00:04:37,652 --> 00:04:40,487
No. Michael,
why would you
promise that?

103
00:04:40,571 --> 00:04:42,197
You know. . .
Okay. l can't. . .

104
00:04:42,407 --> 00:04:44,741
Call the school, cancel.
l can't go through with this.

105
00:04:44,826 --> 00:04:46,702
We've already
rescheduled
seven times.

106
00:04:46,786 --> 00:04:50,330
Michael, this is a terrible,
terrible thing you've done.

107
00:04:50,415 --> 00:04:51,456
Well. . .

108
00:04:51,541 --> 00:04:54,626
lt's terrible.
Just terrible.

109
00:04:55,253 --> 00:04:57,713
And the longer
you put it off,
the worse it's gonna get.

110
00:04:57,839 --> 00:05:00,424
l just. . .
l fell in love
with these kids,

111
00:05:00,508 --> 00:05:03,302
and l didn't want to
see them fall victim
to the system.

112
00:05:03,386 --> 00:05:04,428
So l made them
a promise.

113
00:05:04,512 --> 00:05:07,389
l told them that
if they graduated
from high schooI,

114
00:05:07,473 --> 00:05:10,559
l would pay for their
college education.

115
00:05:10,643 --> 00:05:14,229
l have made some empty
promises in my life,

116
00:05:14,314 --> 00:05:16,857
but hands down,
that was the
most generous.

117
00:05:16,983 --> 00:05:19,151
Just tell me
it is going to be
okay, all right?

118
00:05:19,235 --> 00:05:20,277
No!

119
00:05:20,361 --> 00:05:23,155
l'm not a bad-news person.
l bring good news,

120
00:05:23,239 --> 00:05:25,574
like when l
promised those kids
l'd pay for college.

121
00:05:25,658 --> 00:05:26,658
(LAUGHlNG)

122
00:05:26,743 --> 00:05:29,077
Okay. All right.

123
00:05:29,162 --> 00:05:30,495
You have to tell them.

124
00:05:31,414 --> 00:05:35,334
Would you come with me?
You know, like old times?
lnstead of. . .

125
00:05:36,502 --> 00:05:39,921
l can print out
a new itinerary
with Pam's name on it.

126
00:05:40,423 --> 00:05:42,341
lt's fine.
Erin, you're gonna go,

127
00:05:42,425 --> 00:05:44,301
and you're gonna make sure
Michael tells the truth.

128
00:05:44,385 --> 00:05:47,429
Oh, God. You know what?
Could this day get any worse?

129
00:05:48,431 --> 00:05:51,058
Hey, Jimmy, what's up?

130
00:05:51,142 --> 00:05:52,184
Not much.

131
00:05:52,268 --> 00:05:55,437
Cool. Very cool.
l bet if you tried,

132
00:05:55,646 --> 00:05:59,024
you could grow
the best beard of
anyone in this office.

133
00:05:59,108 --> 00:06:00,275
Thanks, Dwight.

134
00:06:00,360 --> 00:06:01,735
That laugh is
so infectious.

135
00:06:01,819 --> 00:06:04,071
You're creeping me out.
l'm gonna go.

136
00:06:04,155 --> 00:06:06,365
l didn't mean
any of those things
l just said.

137
00:06:06,449 --> 00:06:10,035
And you can expect
the same thing from
everyone in this office

138
00:06:10,119 --> 00:06:13,413
if you don't nip this whole
Employee of the Month
situation in the bud.

139
00:06:13,498 --> 00:06:15,707
Make it about
the work.

140
00:06:15,792 --> 00:06:17,667
Let me guess.
You think you
should get it.

141
00:06:18,294 --> 00:06:21,296
This encompasses
all available data.

142
00:06:21,631 --> 00:06:25,967
Hours, tardiness,
unconfirmed sick days,
participation.

143
00:06:26,135 --> 00:06:28,762
Everyone has been assigned
a random number

144
00:06:28,846 --> 00:06:31,473
for total fairness
and transparency.

145
00:06:31,933 --> 00:06:34,476
Also, this should
be accompanied by
a monetary prize.

146
00:06:34,602 --> 00:06:36,269
Well, in an
ideal world. . .
ln an ideal world

147
00:06:36,354 --> 00:06:38,063
l would have
all 1 0 fingers
on my left hand,

148
00:06:38,147 --> 00:06:40,065
so my right hand
could just be
a fist for punching.

149
00:06:40,149 --> 00:06:41,566
Okay. lf it's all
the same to you,

150
00:06:41,651 --> 00:06:44,403
l'm just gonna take
away survival skills
and self-defense.

151
00:06:44,487 --> 00:06:46,655
l'm gonna run this
by Toby and Accounting

152
00:06:46,739 --> 00:06:48,240
and have them
assemble the data.

153
00:06:48,324 --> 00:06:50,200
lt's okay,
l'll do it.

154
00:06:54,539 --> 00:06:55,872
MlKELA: Mr. Scott?

155
00:06:57,041 --> 00:07:00,085
Hey! Mikela Lasker!
How are you?

156
00:07:00,169 --> 00:07:01,211
l'm good.

157
00:07:01,295 --> 00:07:02,504
Good to see you.
Where's your saxophone?

158
00:07:02,588 --> 00:07:04,172
lt's in the music room,
Mr. Scott.

159
00:07:04,257 --> 00:07:06,216
Eighth-grade graduation,
she gave a rendition

160
00:07:06,300 --> 00:07:08,927
of When the Saints Go
Marching In that would
blow your freaking mind.

161
00:07:09,011 --> 00:07:09,970
Wow.

162
00:07:10,054 --> 00:07:11,096
Well, you didn't
even hear it.

163
00:07:11,180 --> 00:07:13,181
Everyone's so excited
that you're here today.

164
00:07:13,266 --> 00:07:14,266
Oh, good.
Now,

165
00:07:14,350 --> 00:07:16,226
l know you probably
want to see everyone,

166
00:07:16,310 --> 00:07:18,562
but l was wondering
if l could ask you
some questions first.

167
00:07:18,646 --> 00:07:19,980
Sure.
You're famous.

168
00:07:20,106 --> 00:07:22,441
l'm sure you remember
this place.
Oh, yeah.

169
00:07:22,525 --> 00:07:23,525
Do you want to go in?

170
00:07:23,609 --> 00:07:24,860
No, not at all.
Nope. Come on.

171
00:07:27,613 --> 00:07:29,281
You know what? You know,
l shouldn't go in there.

172
00:07:29,365 --> 00:07:30,615
l'm pretty busy.
l shouldn't. . .

173
00:07:30,700 --> 00:07:33,201
We just want
to say thanks.

174
00:07:37,540 --> 00:07:41,626
ALL: Mr. Scott!
Mr. Scott! Mr. Scott!

175
00:07:41,711 --> 00:07:42,711
Mr. Scott!

176
00:07:43,463 --> 00:07:46,006
Mr. Scott,
l know you're a busy man

177
00:07:46,090 --> 00:07:47,924
and your schedule
moves around a lot,

178
00:07:48,217 --> 00:07:51,803
but for all your generosity
through the years, your tots,

179
00:07:52,180 --> 00:07:53,680
who are ready
to graduate,

180
00:07:53,764 --> 00:07:57,058
thought it was
time to give you
a proper thank you.

181
00:07:58,311 --> 00:08:00,103
(STUDENTS EXCLAlMlNG)

182
00:08:04,358 --> 00:08:06,735
(SlNGlNG) Hey, Mr. Scott,
what you gonna do

183
00:08:06,861 --> 00:08:09,279
What you gonna do
Make our dreams come true

184
00:08:09,363 --> 00:08:11,823
Hey, Mr. Scott,
what you gonna do

185
00:08:11,908 --> 00:08:14,159
What you gonna do
Make our dreams come true

186
00:08:14,243 --> 00:08:17,078
You came into our lives
and made a promise
That made us honest

187
00:08:17,163 --> 00:08:20,081
Made us realize
We don't need to compromise

188
00:08:20,166 --> 00:08:21,708
'Cause we can have it all

189
00:08:21,792 --> 00:08:26,129
'Cause you made it possible
For us to achieve
the improbabIe

190
00:08:26,214 --> 00:08:29,341
Hey, hey, hey, hey
Hey, hey, hey, hey

191
00:08:29,425 --> 00:08:31,801
Hey, Mr. Scott,
what you gonna do

192
00:08:31,886 --> 00:08:34,888
What you gonna do
Make our dreams come true

193
00:08:35,765 --> 00:08:36,806
Wow!

194
00:08:45,650 --> 00:08:49,110
Hey. So Jim thought
it would be ideal. . .

195
00:08:49,195 --> 00:08:51,530
Hey.
. . .if we all pitched in. . .

196
00:08:51,822 --> 00:08:53,323
So, Jim thought
it would be ideal

197
00:08:53,407 --> 00:08:57,327
if we all pitched in a 20
for this whole Employee
of the Month thing.

198
00:08:57,411 --> 00:08:58,537
Jim said that?

199
00:08:58,621 --> 00:09:01,623
He thought you were doing
an incredible job last month.

200
00:09:01,707 --> 00:09:03,124
Jim said that?

201
00:09:03,209 --> 00:09:04,334
You seem surprised.

202
00:09:04,752 --> 00:09:07,045
No, no, that makes
total sense.

203
00:09:11,884 --> 00:09:14,803
Hey, buddy.
So everyone. . .

204
00:09:17,807 --> 00:09:21,309
Five minutes
ahead of schedule.
Right on schedule.

205
00:09:21,978 --> 00:09:23,979
Politicians are
always coming around,

206
00:09:24,063 --> 00:09:28,149
telling us they're
gonna fix our schools,
promising this and that.

207
00:09:28,859 --> 00:09:33,154
But you, Mr. Scott,
you are actually doing it!

208
00:09:33,489 --> 00:09:37,742
You have taught these kids,
with hard work,
that anything is possible.

209
00:09:38,160 --> 00:09:41,496
You are a dream maker,
and l thank you.

210
00:09:42,498 --> 00:09:46,167
l thank you. l thank you,
l thank you, l thank you.

211
00:09:51,549 --> 00:09:53,258
There were a lot of
times over the years

212
00:09:53,342 --> 00:09:55,427
where l was pressured
to get into the drug game.

213
00:09:55,511 --> 00:09:58,513
But l always thought back
to my guardian angel

214
00:09:59,140 --> 00:10:00,849
and the gift
that you gave me.

215
00:10:00,933 --> 00:10:03,893
So l just want to thank you
for giving me the opportunity

216
00:10:03,978 --> 00:10:06,354
to go to college,
educate myself,

217
00:10:06,439 --> 00:10:08,607
and become
the next President Obama.

218
00:10:08,691 --> 00:10:10,400
Oh, God.

219
00:10:16,073 --> 00:10:18,033
Okay, ladies and
gentlemen, welcome.

220
00:10:18,117 --> 00:10:21,453
l know you're all very
excited, but no matter
who gets this,

221
00:10:21,537 --> 00:10:23,371
l just want to say
that you guys are all

222
00:10:23,456 --> 00:10:24,956
Employees of the Month
in my eyes.

223
00:10:25,041 --> 00:10:26,124
(ALL LAUGHlNG)

224
00:10:26,834 --> 00:10:30,670
And the winner is
employee number nine,
and that is. . .

225
00:10:31,547 --> 00:10:35,467
Number nine,
number nine, Jim Halpert.

226
00:10:35,593 --> 00:10:36,718
ANGELA: What?
KEVlN: What?

227
00:10:36,802 --> 00:10:38,720
Are you kidding me?
Oh, no.

228
00:10:38,804 --> 00:10:41,264
Okay, wait.
l was not. . .

229
00:10:42,350 --> 00:10:44,100
l did not get. . .

230
00:10:44,185 --> 00:10:46,811
"l did not. . .
That was not. . .

231
00:10:47,730 --> 00:10:48,772
"How come not. . ."

232
00:10:48,856 --> 00:10:49,939
Guys, listen.

233
00:10:50,024 --> 00:10:51,524
This was anonymous,
all right?

234
00:10:51,609 --> 00:10:53,318
There's no way
l could have
given it to myself,

235
00:10:53,402 --> 00:10:55,570
because l didn't even know
who was on here.

236
00:10:55,655 --> 00:10:57,739
l just gave it to
the employee with the
highest overall score.

237
00:10:57,823 --> 00:11:00,700
To my tally,
you just won back
your own parking spot,

238
00:11:00,785 --> 00:11:04,621
a vacation day,
and a nice tidy quarter
of $1 ,000 from all of us.

239
00:11:04,705 --> 00:11:06,164
Will everybody just
stop for a second?

240
00:11:06,248 --> 00:11:07,791
'Cause obviously l'm
not taking any of it.

241
00:11:07,875 --> 00:11:09,834
A mistake has been made
and we'll figure it out.

242
00:11:09,919 --> 00:11:11,503
Second of all,
there was no cash prize.

243
00:11:11,587 --> 00:11:12,629
Yes!

244
00:11:12,713 --> 00:11:13,922
Dwight?
Yeah, you said,

245
00:11:14,006 --> 00:11:15,674
"ln an ideal world,
there would be
a cash prize."

246
00:11:15,758 --> 00:11:17,676
lsn't that
what you said?
No, Dwight, l meant,

247
00:11:17,760 --> 00:11:20,387
yes, in a perfect world,
someone would get money,
but not. . .

248
00:11:20,471 --> 00:11:23,807
Yeah, but,
in your perfect world,
only you get money.

249
00:11:23,891 --> 00:11:25,517
KEVlN: Yeah, that's. . .
ANGELA: Don't do this. . .

250
00:11:25,643 --> 00:11:27,560
DWlGHT: l know,
all right?
Don't do. . .

251
00:11:27,645 --> 00:11:30,772
Let's put your hands together
and give a warm welcome

252
00:11:30,856 --> 00:11:33,733
for the man of the hour,
Mr. Michael Scott.

253
00:11:33,818 --> 00:11:34,901
(WHOOPlNG)

254
00:11:39,115 --> 00:11:40,448
Thank you.

255
00:11:44,370 --> 00:11:46,246
All right. Wow.

256
00:11:48,124 --> 00:11:51,418
l am never going
to forget today.
Not a chance.

257
00:11:51,961 --> 00:11:55,880
l don't think l could
ever give back to you
what you have given me today.

258
00:11:55,965 --> 00:11:58,717
Who here's done
something stupid
in their lives?

259
00:11:58,801 --> 00:12:00,885
Like skipped out
on study hall

260
00:12:00,970 --> 00:12:03,054
or mix up the difference
between A gym and B gym,

261
00:12:03,139 --> 00:12:04,514
that sort of thing?
Show of hands.

262
00:12:04,598 --> 00:12:07,058
Anybody? Yes,
a bunch of you. Okay.

263
00:12:07,143 --> 00:12:11,479
Well, me, too.
l've done something stupid,
which l would like to share.

264
00:12:11,772 --> 00:12:12,897
Um. . .

265
00:12:13,107 --> 00:12:14,899
(SCHOOL BELL RlNGlNG)

266
00:12:16,026 --> 00:12:17,152
Should we go?

267
00:12:17,236 --> 00:12:19,612
No, no, we're okay.
lt's a double period.

268
00:12:20,865 --> 00:12:24,743
All right.
l came here today because
l promised you tuition,

269
00:12:25,244 --> 00:12:26,953
and tuition is
very valuable.

270
00:12:27,037 --> 00:12:29,748
But you know
what's invaluable?

271
00:12:29,832 --> 00:12:32,125
ls intuition.
You know what that is?

272
00:12:32,710 --> 00:12:36,546
That is the ability to
know when something is
about to happen.

273
00:12:38,215 --> 00:12:40,216
Does anybody out there
have intuition?

274
00:12:40,301 --> 00:12:42,385
Know what's gonna
happen next?

275
00:12:42,470 --> 00:12:45,263
Nobody? Okay.
You're gonna
make me say it.

276
00:12:45,681 --> 00:12:49,642
All right.
l am so proud
of all of you.

277
00:12:51,479 --> 00:12:55,273
Derrick and Lefervre
and Ben and Ayana

278
00:12:55,357 --> 00:12:59,486
and Mikela and Nikki
and Jason and. . .

279
00:12:59,904 --> 00:13:02,447
l'm sorry, okay,
l'm sort of
spacing your name.

280
00:13:02,531 --> 00:13:04,616
l'm Zion.
l'm Mikela's
younger brother.

281
00:13:04,700 --> 00:13:07,327
Well, Zion,
l am not going to be
paying for your tuition.

282
00:13:07,411 --> 00:13:08,661
(ALL LAUGHlNG)

283
00:13:11,040 --> 00:13:12,499
Which brings me
to my main point,

284
00:13:12,583 --> 00:13:16,336
and that is that l
will not be able to pay
for anybody's tuition.

285
00:13:18,714 --> 00:13:20,381
l'm so, so sorry.

286
00:13:23,219 --> 00:13:24,260
GlRL: What?
BOY: You're kidding.

287
00:13:24,345 --> 00:13:25,637
Excuse me?

288
00:13:25,721 --> 00:13:27,096
(CLAMORlNG)

289
00:13:31,185 --> 00:13:32,519
l'm sorry.

290
00:13:33,854 --> 00:13:36,356
Explain yourself, sir!

291
00:13:36,440 --> 00:13:38,399
l'm sorry. l'm sorry.

292
00:13:38,734 --> 00:13:39,776
l'm so sorry.

293
00:13:39,860 --> 00:13:40,985
You lied to us.

294
00:13:41,779 --> 00:13:45,865
Yep. l lied to myself, too.
l'm not a millionaire.

295
00:13:46,826 --> 00:13:50,036
l thought l would be
by the time l was 30,
but l wasn't even close,

296
00:13:50,120 --> 00:13:52,497
and then l thought maybe
by the time l was 40,

297
00:13:52,581 --> 00:13:55,416
but by 40
l had less money
than when l was 30.

298
00:13:55,501 --> 00:13:57,126
Maybe by my 50s,
l don't know.

299
00:13:57,211 --> 00:14:00,338
l wanted to pay
for your education.

300
00:14:01,257 --> 00:14:04,217
l really did.
lt was my dream.

301
00:14:05,010 --> 00:14:08,930
Some people have evil dreams,
some people have
selfish dreams,

302
00:14:09,139 --> 00:14:12,100
or wet dreams.
My dream was in
the right place.

303
00:14:12,184 --> 00:14:13,560
You owe this to us.

304
00:14:13,644 --> 00:14:15,436
Okay, hold on. Hold on.

305
00:14:16,730 --> 00:14:19,774
Now, l can't pay
for your college,

306
00:14:20,317 --> 00:14:24,779
but you don't
have to go to class
to be in class.

307
00:14:25,990 --> 00:14:28,867
Online courses
are a viable option

308
00:14:28,951 --> 00:14:30,952
to a traditional
college experience,

309
00:14:31,370 --> 00:14:33,621
and the best way to
access those courses

310
00:14:33,706 --> 00:14:36,791
is with your own
personal laptop,

311
00:14:37,918 --> 00:14:41,045
which is
rendered useless
without batteries,

312
00:14:41,130 --> 00:14:42,672
and l have one
for each of you.

313
00:14:42,798 --> 00:14:44,340
(ALL CLAMORlNG)

314
00:14:48,220 --> 00:14:52,015
Hold on, hold on,
hold on, hold on, hold on.
They're lithium.

315
00:14:56,854 --> 00:15:00,899
Look, there was
a big mistake, obviously,
so l will fix it. Okay?

316
00:15:01,817 --> 00:15:03,067
This was
your idea anyway.

317
00:15:03,152 --> 00:15:05,987
Correction.
lt was my idea.

318
00:15:06,071 --> 00:15:07,155
Okay.

319
00:15:07,364 --> 00:15:08,615
My idea.

320
00:15:08,991 --> 00:15:11,618
Guys, l'm starting to think
Pam's not even pregnant.

321
00:15:11,702 --> 00:15:14,913
Okay, for the record,
l am pregnant,

322
00:15:14,997 --> 00:15:17,582
and obviously
there's been some
kind of a mistake,

323
00:15:17,666 --> 00:15:21,502
so why doesn't Jim just
pick the next highest
score on the list

324
00:15:21,587 --> 00:15:22,921
and we'll move on.

325
00:15:23,005 --> 00:15:24,547
Yeah, okay.
That's fair.

326
00:15:24,632 --> 00:15:26,591
Excellent idea, Pam.
Thank you.

327
00:15:26,675 --> 00:15:30,678
That would be
employee number three,
which is. . .

328
00:15:30,971 --> 00:15:32,513
Son of a bitch !

329
00:15:33,474 --> 00:15:35,183
Pam Halpert.
ALL: What?

330
00:15:36,060 --> 00:15:37,894
How is that possible?

331
00:15:37,978 --> 00:15:41,022
No offense, Pam,
but how the hell
is that possible?

332
00:15:41,190 --> 00:15:44,442
There must be
some reasonable
explanation for this.

333
00:15:44,526 --> 00:15:47,278
Wait, come on.
l didn't miss a day,

334
00:15:47,363 --> 00:15:49,155
l came in early,
l stayed late,

335
00:15:49,365 --> 00:15:51,115
and l doubled my
sales last month.

336
00:15:51,200 --> 00:15:53,368
Oh, really?
From what?
Two to four?

337
00:15:53,452 --> 00:15:54,535
Yep.

338
00:15:54,620 --> 00:15:57,538
Guys, this isn't some
elaborate scam, okay?

339
00:15:57,873 --> 00:16:01,376
Hi, l have an order
here for a custom cake.
Jim Halpert.

340
00:16:01,627 --> 00:16:04,963
Okay. That is me,
but l didn't order
the cake.

341
00:16:06,173 --> 00:16:07,924
Look who it is.

342
00:16:08,217 --> 00:16:09,467
(ALL EXCLAlMlNG)

343
00:16:09,551 --> 00:16:11,135
(ANGELA READlNG)

344
00:16:11,220 --> 00:16:12,679
DWlGHT:
He knew all along.

345
00:16:12,763 --> 00:16:14,138
KELLY: l'm gonna
have some cake.

346
00:16:14,223 --> 00:16:15,306
STEPHANlE:
David Wallace's office.

347
00:16:15,391 --> 00:16:18,351
This is Kevin Malone.
ls David there?

348
00:16:18,978 --> 00:16:21,646
No, he's in his
weekIy staff meeting.
Can l take a message?

349
00:16:21,730 --> 00:16:27,944
Tell him l'm mad at Jim
'cause he's asking us
to give money to Pam.

350
00:16:28,278 --> 00:16:33,658
This is Stanley Hudson.
Jim Halpert is a menace.

351
00:16:33,742 --> 00:16:38,997
lt's Toby Flenderson.
Listen, things are getting
really bad down here.

352
00:16:44,253 --> 00:16:45,753
Hey, Mr. Scott.

353
00:16:48,757 --> 00:16:51,050
Erin, can you
give us a second?

354
00:16:51,927 --> 00:16:53,011
That was messed up
what you did.

355
00:16:53,095 --> 00:16:54,595
Yeah, yeah,
l know. l know.

356
00:16:54,680 --> 00:16:55,888
l know, l'm sorry.

357
00:16:55,973 --> 00:16:57,682
Who does something
like that?

358
00:16:57,766 --> 00:16:59,517
Who promises that
to a bunch of kids

359
00:16:59,601 --> 00:17:02,562
and then just doesn't
come through like that?

360
00:17:03,814 --> 00:17:04,897
What can l do?

361
00:17:04,982 --> 00:17:06,566
You could pay
for my college.

362
00:17:06,650 --> 00:17:10,486
l can give you
an extra laptop battery.
Not everyone took one.

363
00:17:11,864 --> 00:17:12,905
(SlGHS)

364
00:17:14,783 --> 00:17:16,325
How about this?

365
00:17:16,952 --> 00:17:22,040
lf you can find a way
to pay for your tuition,
let me buy your books, okay?

366
00:17:22,124 --> 00:17:23,207
They're expensive.

367
00:17:23,292 --> 00:17:26,252
Yeah, well, l owe you
that at least, right?

368
00:17:26,587 --> 00:17:28,046
lt's about $1 ,000.

369
00:17:28,130 --> 00:17:30,173
(EXHALES) Really? Wow.

370
00:17:31,467 --> 00:17:32,800
That's over $200 a year.

371
00:17:32,885 --> 00:17:34,761
No, $1 ,000 each year.

372
00:17:34,845 --> 00:17:37,513
For. . . Okay. Okay.

373
00:17:39,141 --> 00:17:42,727
Here's what l'm gonna do.
l'm gonna write four checks
for $1 ,000 each.

374
00:17:42,811 --> 00:17:44,937
l'm going to date them
one year apart.

375
00:17:45,022 --> 00:17:47,106
Now, you are to use
one check a year,

376
00:17:47,191 --> 00:17:49,317
and please call me
before you cash the check,

377
00:17:49,443 --> 00:17:51,611
'cause l've got monies
to move around.
Yeah, yeah.

378
00:17:51,737 --> 00:17:54,238
Okay?
Make it out
to my Aunt Rosa.

379
00:17:55,199 --> 00:17:57,116
That's a lot of zeroes.

380
00:18:00,120 --> 00:18:01,120
This is Jim.

381
00:18:01,205 --> 00:18:02,538
DAVID: Jim, what the hell
is happening there?

382
00:18:02,623 --> 00:18:04,624
Hey, David.
Yes?

383
00:18:04,958 --> 00:18:08,044
So, there was a little bit
of a miscommunication
here today.

384
00:18:08,128 --> 00:18:10,755
lt's been a little wild,
but l am on it.

385
00:18:10,839 --> 00:18:13,883
Just so l understand,
you started
EmpIoyee of the Month,

386
00:18:13,967 --> 00:18:15,426
give it to yourseIf,

387
00:18:15,511 --> 00:18:17,762
then peopIe compIain,
so you give it
to your wife?

388
00:18:17,846 --> 00:18:19,263
No.
Am I missing something?

389
00:18:19,348 --> 00:18:20,973
l really don't know
how it happened, David.

390
00:18:21,058 --> 00:18:22,975
l know how it happened.

391
00:18:30,442 --> 00:18:33,069
DAVID: Jim, I bumped you up
because I thought you couId
make my Iife easier.

392
00:18:33,153 --> 00:18:36,906
If you can't do that,
we're gonna have
a separate discussion.

393
00:18:36,990 --> 00:18:40,076
JIM: AII right,
it wiII not happen again.
I promise.

394
00:18:41,662 --> 00:18:44,664
I am sorry.
I am taking
this out on you.

395
00:18:46,291 --> 00:18:47,500
No.
But things have
been crazy here.

396
00:18:47,584 --> 00:18:49,669
You know
I think you're doing
a great job, right?

397
00:18:49,753 --> 00:18:52,088
What? No.
Yeah. Thank you.

398
00:18:52,714 --> 00:18:55,800
Okay. (CHUCKLES)
We still on for
dinner this weekend?

399
00:18:55,884 --> 00:18:57,135
What?
Yes.

400
00:18:57,219 --> 00:18:59,720
Okay. See you.
You're kidding me!

401
00:19:00,139 --> 00:19:01,389
Damn it!

402
00:19:02,182 --> 00:19:04,684
(SlNGlNG) Hey, Mr. Scott,
what you gonna do

403
00:19:04,768 --> 00:19:07,395
What you gonna do
Make our dreams come true

404
00:19:07,479 --> 00:19:10,148
Hey, Mr. Scott,
what you gonna do

405
00:19:10,232 --> 00:19:11,649
Please stop.

406
00:19:13,193 --> 00:19:15,570
Fifteen lives.

407
00:19:17,114 --> 00:19:19,198
l destroyed
1 5 young lives today.

408
00:19:19,283 --> 00:19:20,741
No.
Yes.

409
00:19:21,994 --> 00:19:24,036
No, there's
financial aid.

410
00:19:26,206 --> 00:19:28,291
They could join
the Army or the Navy.

411
00:19:28,375 --> 00:19:30,751
Maybe. . .
You're, what, like, 1 2?

412
00:19:35,716 --> 00:19:37,967
The principal
told me that

413
00:19:38,051 --> 00:19:40,720
90% of Scott's Tots are
on track to graduate,

414
00:19:40,804 --> 00:19:44,015
and that's 35% higher
than the rest of the school,

415
00:19:44,933 --> 00:19:47,101
so l think that
if you hadn't
made that promise,

416
00:19:47,186 --> 00:19:49,604
a lot of them
would have dropped out,

417
00:19:49,688 --> 00:19:52,064
which is something to
think about, l think.

418
00:20:01,450 --> 00:20:03,784
l think you're
doing a great job.

419
00:20:04,453 --> 00:20:05,786
Really?

420
00:20:08,790 --> 00:20:09,957
What do you want
from this job,

421
00:20:10,042 --> 00:20:13,294
provided the company
doesn't go out of business?

422
00:20:13,378 --> 00:20:16,088
Well, l've always wondered
what it might be like to be
an accountant.

423
00:20:16,173 --> 00:20:17,215
Really?

424
00:20:17,299 --> 00:20:18,674
Yes, but l'm
terrible at math.

425
00:20:18,759 --> 00:20:21,385
Well, you know,
when l hired Kevin,

426
00:20:21,887 --> 00:20:25,181
he was actually applying
for a job in the warehouse.

427
00:20:25,724 --> 00:20:27,350
Seriously?
Yeah.

428
00:20:27,976 --> 00:20:30,645
l just sort of had
a feeling about him.

429
00:20:32,481 --> 00:20:34,690
Have a feeling
about you, too.

430
00:20:37,819 --> 00:20:40,571
(SlNGlNG) Hey, Mr. Scott,
what you gonna do

431
00:20:40,656 --> 00:20:43,574
What you gonna do
Make our dreams come true

432
00:20:43,659 --> 00:20:46,494
Hey, Mr. Scott,
what you gonna do

433
00:20:46,578 --> 00:20:48,996
What you gonna do
Make our dreams come true

434
00:20:49,081 --> 00:20:50,081
Yeah !

435
00:20:53,627 --> 00:20:55,586
JlM: See you
tomorrow, Dwight.

436
00:20:55,671 --> 00:20:57,088
Apparently.

437
00:20:57,965 --> 00:21:00,758
How's it going?
Good day?
Not now, temp.

438
00:21:01,009 --> 00:21:06,597
Okay. So, listen,
l know about your
diabolical plan.

439
00:21:08,725 --> 00:21:13,271
What? Diabolical plan?
l wouldn't even know
how to begin. . .

440
00:21:14,022 --> 00:21:16,774
l found a copy of it
in the copier tray.

441
00:21:16,858 --> 00:21:18,526
So what do you want?

442
00:21:18,610 --> 00:21:20,278
l want the same thing
you want.

443
00:21:20,362 --> 00:21:23,948
l want to take
Jim Halpert down.
l want in.