1
00:00:02,085 --> 00:00:05,170
Attention, everyone!
Jim and l, on behalf

2
00:00:05,255 --> 00:00:06,505
of the Party Planning
Committee have an. . .

3
00:00:06,589 --> 00:00:08,007
Too loud.
Too, too loud. Too loud.

4
00:00:08,091 --> 00:00:12,469
But effective. Look.
On behalf of Jim and l,
Merry Christmas.

5
00:00:14,264 --> 00:00:15,347
ALL: Merry Christmas.

6
00:00:15,432 --> 00:00:16,724
Merry Christmas. Good.

7
00:00:16,808 --> 00:00:19,768
My diabolical plot is
on hold for Christmas.

8
00:00:20,270 --> 00:00:24,106
My heart just melts
with the sound of
children singing.

9
00:00:25,442 --> 00:00:26,775
(LAUGHlNG)

10
00:00:27,569 --> 00:00:31,488
Not really. l'm just tired.
The days are short.
l don't know.

11
00:00:31,948 --> 00:00:33,741
Maybe l'm depressed.

12
00:00:34,117 --> 00:00:35,743
lt is time to
unveil the tree.

13
00:00:35,827 --> 00:00:36,994
Hey, Rockefeller Center!

14
00:00:37,078 --> 00:00:38,162
JlM: Yeah.

15
00:00:38,246 --> 00:00:39,580
Uh, l've actually
been to Rock Center

16
00:00:39,664 --> 00:00:40,706
and this is
nothing like that.

17
00:00:40,790 --> 00:00:42,249
This is all we have.
Ugh !

18
00:00:42,333 --> 00:00:43,751
Nope, it's not "ugh."

19
00:00:44,377 --> 00:00:46,045
lt is office camaraderie.

20
00:00:46,129 --> 00:00:47,296
lt is warm feelings.

21
00:00:47,380 --> 00:00:49,173
Why don't we
talk more about it
instead of doing it?

22
00:00:49,257 --> 00:00:51,884
Thirty, 29, 28. . .

23
00:00:52,010 --> 00:00:53,385
Why would you
start so high?
. . .27. . .

24
00:00:53,470 --> 00:00:54,470
Three, two, one.

25
00:00:54,554 --> 00:00:55,554
. . .26. . .

26
00:00:55,722 --> 00:00:56,764
PHYLLlS: Ooh !

27
00:00:56,848 --> 00:00:58,057
You didn't decorate it.

28
00:00:58,141 --> 00:00:59,099
No.
Exactly.

29
00:00:59,184 --> 00:01:02,227
We didn't, because
we think it would be better
to do it together.

30
00:01:02,312 --> 00:01:04,188
Everyone.
Why would you
wrap it in a sheet

31
00:01:04,272 --> 00:01:06,315
if you're not
covering anything up?

32
00:01:06,399 --> 00:01:08,317
ls. . . ls it fake?
Pam.

33
00:01:08,485 --> 00:01:13,530
Yes! We are unveiling
an artificial tree
that will never die.

34
00:01:13,615 --> 00:01:14,573
Yes.

35
00:01:14,657 --> 00:01:15,783
Like the spirit
of Christmas.

36
00:01:15,867 --> 00:01:17,076
And we're supposed
to applaud you

37
00:01:17,160 --> 00:01:19,161
for taking a giant
diaper off a fake tree?

38
00:01:19,245 --> 00:01:22,414
This was
a successful unveiling !
Go back to work!

39
00:01:22,540 --> 00:01:24,166
Merry Christmas.

40
00:01:45,146 --> 00:01:48,023
Hello. Sorry, guys.
Sorry, guys.

41
00:01:48,191 --> 00:01:51,110
l'm not sure l've
earned the right to
make announcements yet,

42
00:01:51,194 --> 00:01:53,570
but whoever is
giving me the
1 2 Days of Christmas

43
00:01:53,655 --> 00:01:55,447
as my Secret Santa,

44
00:01:55,782 --> 00:02:01,370
please stop.
l can't take it anymore.
My cat killed a turtledove.

45
00:02:01,621 --> 00:02:05,040
The French hens
have started pulling out
my hair to make a nest.

46
00:02:05,125 --> 00:02:06,792
Please stop.

47
00:02:06,876 --> 00:02:08,877
What psycho would
send that as a gift?

48
00:02:12,924 --> 00:02:15,968
l begged Dwight and Jim
to give me Erin for
Secret Santa,

49
00:02:16,052 --> 00:02:18,345
and I decided to give Erin
the 1 2 Days of Christmas.

50
00:02:18,429 --> 00:02:19,596
Bowtie time.

51
00:02:19,681 --> 00:02:23,684
Is it my fauIt that
the first eight days
there's basicaIIy 30 birds?

52
00:02:24,102 --> 00:02:25,394
Ho! Ho! Ho!

53
00:02:25,478 --> 00:02:30,149
Merry Christmas,
boys and girls.
lt's me, Santa Claus.

54
00:02:30,316 --> 00:02:31,692
Hey, Santa.

55
00:02:31,943 --> 00:02:33,443
They finally
let you do it.
Yeah.

56
00:02:33,528 --> 00:02:34,611
Congrats, Phyl.

57
00:02:34,696 --> 00:02:35,737
lt's so edgy.

58
00:02:35,822 --> 00:02:38,031
PHYLLlS: I have been wanting
to be Santa for years.

59
00:02:38,116 --> 00:02:40,117
l believe l have
the right temperament

60
00:02:40,201 --> 00:02:42,119
and the figure to
do the job well.

61
00:02:42,203 --> 00:02:46,456
I sIipped a note
to Jim 1 1 weeks ago,
and he said l could do it.

62
00:02:46,749 --> 00:02:48,000
(PHYLLlS LAUGHS)

63
00:02:49,711 --> 00:02:51,712
lt's been a long journey.

64
00:02:54,465 --> 00:02:56,258
But l'm Santa Claus!

65
00:02:57,677 --> 00:03:00,429
So, Santa, what can we
expect from this party?

66
00:03:00,513 --> 00:03:03,599
lt's going to be
a very jolly time
if you've been good.

67
00:03:03,683 --> 00:03:05,017
What if you've been bad?

68
00:03:05,101 --> 00:03:07,019
Then nothing but
a lump of coal for you.

69
00:03:07,103 --> 00:03:08,854
What if you've been
really, really bad?

70
00:03:08,938 --> 00:03:11,148
More evil than
strictly wrong.

71
00:03:11,232 --> 00:03:13,692
Hey, Creed?
We covered it.
Lump of coal.

72
00:03:13,776 --> 00:03:14,860
Yeah.

73
00:03:15,111 --> 00:03:16,153
For the past several weeks,

74
00:03:16,237 --> 00:03:19,072
my Secret Santa
has been giving me
pieces of a machine

75
00:03:19,157 --> 00:03:20,824
that l've been
attempting to assembIe.

76
00:03:20,909 --> 00:03:24,912
I'm suspicious of this,
because l had
the exact same idea

77
00:03:25,163 --> 00:03:27,372
for catching Osama bin Laden.

78
00:03:27,457 --> 00:03:30,751
I wouId simpIy send him
a different piece each day.

79
00:03:30,960 --> 00:03:33,587
He would assemble
it to find himself

80
00:03:34,214 --> 00:03:35,464
in jail !

81
00:03:37,133 --> 00:03:39,301
You know, Oscar,
every time l make
this lasagna

82
00:03:39,385 --> 00:03:41,637
people ask me if
it's a family recipe,

83
00:03:41,721 --> 00:03:44,932
but really, l just get
the recipe from the box.

84
00:03:45,808 --> 00:03:47,142
That's funny.

85
00:03:47,227 --> 00:03:50,938
ls it funny?
l thought it was more
interesting than funny.

86
00:03:56,903 --> 00:03:58,570
l think my water
just broke.

87
00:03:58,655 --> 00:03:59,988
That's too funny.

88
00:04:00,323 --> 00:04:02,449
Oscar and
the warehouse guy.

89
00:04:02,784 --> 00:04:05,827
Go, Oscar!
Go, gay warehouse guy!

90
00:04:07,038 --> 00:04:09,164
Here's Santa!

91
00:04:09,666 --> 00:04:13,001
Hey, little girl,
what would you
like for Christmas?

92
00:04:13,169 --> 00:04:16,922
Ooh ! You have been a very
naughty girl, l see.

93
00:04:17,006 --> 00:04:19,132
Michael, we already
have a Santa. Phyllis.

94
00:04:19,509 --> 00:04:21,551
What the hell is going on?

95
00:04:23,054 --> 00:04:25,347
Phyllis, Jim?
Phyllis is Santa?

96
00:04:25,682 --> 00:04:26,765
Yeah.
Phyllis.

97
00:04:26,849 --> 00:04:28,267
Yeah. l told her
a long time ago
she could do it.

98
00:04:28,351 --> 00:04:29,518
Take it back.
That is absurd.

99
00:04:29,602 --> 00:04:30,644
No. l'm not gonna do that.

100
00:04:30,728 --> 00:04:32,187
No, Jim, come on !

101
00:04:32,272 --> 00:04:33,438
l think she's
doing a good job.

102
00:04:33,523 --> 00:04:36,191
lt's insane!
A woman Santa?
Where does it stop?

103
00:04:36,276 --> 00:04:39,820
No! Jim, this may
be the last Christmas
that we have here.

104
00:04:39,904 --> 00:04:42,656
Doesn't it make you
a tiny bit anxious,

105
00:04:42,740 --> 00:04:45,075
me not playing Santa?
Come on !

106
00:04:46,035 --> 00:04:47,953
l'm not gonna go tell Phyllis
that she can't be Santa.

107
00:04:48,037 --> 00:04:51,748
Fine. Then do it anonymously.
Ransom-note style. You can. . .

108
00:04:52,583 --> 00:04:54,126
You know what?
l have a bunch of letters

109
00:04:54,210 --> 00:04:55,711
cut out of magazines
in my desk.

110
00:04:55,795 --> 00:04:56,795
You can use those.

111
00:04:56,879 --> 00:04:58,463
lf this were Russia,
yeah, sure,

112
00:04:58,548 --> 00:05:00,090
everybody would
go to one Santa,

113
00:05:00,174 --> 00:05:02,092
and there would be
a line around the block,

114
00:05:02,176 --> 00:05:03,385
and once
you sat on her lap

115
00:05:03,469 --> 00:05:04,553
and she asked you
what you wanted,

116
00:05:04,637 --> 00:05:07,055
you would say,
probably, freedom,

117
00:05:07,181 --> 00:05:10,726
at which point
the KGB would arrest you
and send you to Siberia.

118
00:05:10,810 --> 00:05:13,520
lt's a good thing
Russia doesn't exist anymore.

119
00:05:13,604 --> 00:05:17,107
Ho! Ho! Ho!
Ho! Ho! Ho!

120
00:05:17,483 --> 00:05:22,821
Why pay more
to sit next to old
Trannie Claus over there

121
00:05:22,905 --> 00:05:24,823
when you can sit on my lap?

122
00:05:24,907 --> 00:05:29,453
Phyllis is only
pretending to be a man.
l'm the real thing !

123
00:05:29,912 --> 00:05:32,331
Sit down on my lap
and there will be no doubt!

124
00:05:32,415 --> 00:05:33,457
Okay.
Okay.

125
00:05:33,541 --> 00:05:36,084
No, it's not,
like, penis-wise.

126
00:05:36,169 --> 00:05:38,378
Hello, little boy!
What's your name?

127
00:05:38,755 --> 00:05:40,964
Michael, it's me, Kevin.

128
00:05:41,049 --> 00:05:43,008
Phyllis says
l'm too big for her lap.

129
00:05:43,092 --> 00:05:48,972
Oh, l am so sorry
that Phyllis hates you
and hates your body,

130
00:05:49,515 --> 00:05:51,850
but Santa
remembers a reindeer

131
00:05:51,934 --> 00:05:55,187
that was just a tiny
bit different as well.

132
00:05:55,271 --> 00:05:56,855
When can l sit on your lap?

133
00:05:56,939 --> 00:05:59,566
Right now!
Come on over here, big boy!

134
00:06:00,777 --> 00:06:02,944
There we go! Oh, my God.

135
00:06:04,489 --> 00:06:06,531
That's really comfortable.

136
00:06:08,576 --> 00:06:11,578
What would you
like for Christmas,
little boy?

137
00:06:13,664 --> 00:06:17,000
l don't know.
l didn't know you
were gonna ask me that.

138
00:06:17,085 --> 00:06:19,461
Well, what did you think
was going to happen?

139
00:06:19,545 --> 00:06:23,507
l didn't know.
Nobody's ever let me
sit on their lap before.

140
00:06:23,591 --> 00:06:26,051
(SOFTLY) All right,
just say some toys, please.

141
00:06:26,135 --> 00:06:27,844
Can you give me some choices?

142
00:06:28,096 --> 00:06:30,097
'Cause l really
don't want to mess up
on this list.

143
00:06:30,181 --> 00:06:32,140
Damn it, Kevin. Come on.

144
00:06:32,809 --> 00:06:35,394
What about if l
tell you the things
l don't want?

145
00:06:35,478 --> 00:06:37,646
Okay, get off!
Get off! Off!

146
00:06:37,980 --> 00:06:38,980
(GROANS)

147
00:06:39,065 --> 00:06:41,024
Oh, God !

148
00:06:41,109 --> 00:06:43,026
l didn't even get to
tell you what l wanted.

149
00:06:43,111 --> 00:06:44,611
Okay, you know what you get?

150
00:06:44,695 --> 00:06:46,988
You get a thousand
helium balloons
attached to you

151
00:06:47,073 --> 00:06:50,158
so Santa doesn't have
to go through this again.

152
00:06:50,576 --> 00:06:51,701
Awesome.

153
00:06:52,245 --> 00:06:53,286
Well?

154
00:06:53,371 --> 00:06:55,038
l'm trying, Phyllis.
You're Santa.

155
00:06:55,164 --> 00:06:57,124
The only Santa.
That's what l want.

156
00:06:57,208 --> 00:07:00,585
You promised me this.
Don't make me
get Bob involved.

157
00:07:00,920 --> 00:07:02,254
What would Bob do?

158
00:07:02,338 --> 00:07:04,673
Never mind.
l shouldn't have said that.

159
00:07:05,425 --> 00:07:06,591
Does it hurt?

160
00:07:06,676 --> 00:07:07,843
lt stings a lot.

161
00:07:08,553 --> 00:07:09,553
Hmm.

162
00:07:09,679 --> 00:07:12,222
l keep trying
to figure out who's
sending me these gifts.

163
00:07:12,306 --> 00:07:13,390
l know, right?

164
00:07:13,474 --> 00:07:15,392
So far no one
will admit to it.

165
00:07:15,476 --> 00:07:17,185
(CHUCKLES)
ls it you?

166
00:07:20,022 --> 00:07:21,106
Yeah !

167
00:07:23,818 --> 00:07:25,402
Totally.
l admit it. lt's me.

168
00:07:25,486 --> 00:07:26,695
(LAUGHS) Seriously?

169
00:07:27,363 --> 00:07:29,739
Seriously?
Are you serious?

170
00:07:29,824 --> 00:07:30,949
ls. . . What. . . ls it you?

171
00:07:31,200 --> 00:07:35,662
Yeah. Totally serious.
l'm your Secret Santa.
Busted !

172
00:07:35,830 --> 00:07:36,913
(LAUGHS)

173
00:07:37,498 --> 00:07:38,874
There he is.

174
00:07:39,208 --> 00:07:40,208
Hey, man.

175
00:07:40,293 --> 00:07:41,960
ls Matt around?
l've got his check.

176
00:07:42,044 --> 00:07:45,547
Matt is on a delivery.
Just leave it here.
l'll take it.

177
00:07:46,048 --> 00:07:47,966
l'll just wait for him.

178
00:07:48,426 --> 00:07:50,177
Matt's a pretty
good-looking dude,
don't you think?

179
00:07:50,261 --> 00:07:52,679
l'll just leave
it here with you.

180
00:07:57,101 --> 00:07:58,727
Come here!
Come here! Come here!

181
00:07:58,769 --> 00:08:01,438
l'm doing
something over here.
Come on ! Ah !

182
00:08:01,522 --> 00:08:02,522
Ho! Ho! Ho!

183
00:08:02,607 --> 00:08:04,483
MlCHAEL: Come on,
l need this.
Come over here!

184
00:08:04,567 --> 00:08:05,650
Just sit down !

185
00:08:05,735 --> 00:08:06,860
No, no, no,
no, no, no!

186
00:08:06,944 --> 00:08:08,195
ls everything okay?
Yeah. Yeah.

187
00:08:08,279 --> 00:08:09,488
Ryan and l are
just having some fun.

188
00:08:09,572 --> 00:08:10,655
Can l just talk to
you for a second?
Yeah.

189
00:08:10,740 --> 00:08:12,574
No, now.
Okay, what?

190
00:08:13,034 --> 00:08:15,160
You can't yell out,
"l need this, l need this,"

191
00:08:15,244 --> 00:08:17,078
as you pin down
an employee on your lap.

192
00:08:17,163 --> 00:08:19,164
Okay. You know what, Jim?

193
00:08:19,290 --> 00:08:22,417
With two Santas in the room,
things get ruthless.

194
00:08:22,502 --> 00:08:24,085
Yeah.
Do you understand?
You forced my hand.

195
00:08:24,170 --> 00:08:26,004
Michael, it's Phyllis.
We want Phyllis as Santa.

196
00:08:26,088 --> 00:08:28,840
Do we? Do we?
ls that what we want?

197
00:08:28,925 --> 00:08:30,258
Why don't we
take a vote on it?

198
00:08:30,343 --> 00:08:31,343
Great.

199
00:08:31,427 --> 00:08:32,802
Hey! Okay, everybody.

200
00:08:33,054 --> 00:08:35,889
The office is
being pulled apart.
l realize that.

201
00:08:35,973 --> 00:08:38,850
There are traditions at stake.

202
00:08:38,935 --> 00:08:40,519
And there are women. . .
Who wants Phyllis as Santa?

203
00:08:40,603 --> 00:08:43,647
No, no, no! Wait! No!
There are other choices.

204
00:08:43,773 --> 00:08:46,858
There's information that we. . .
Are you kidding me, Kevin?

205
00:08:46,943 --> 00:08:48,360
After you almost killed me?

206
00:08:48,444 --> 00:08:51,112
Michael, l had you.
l just want to try Phyllis.

207
00:08:51,197 --> 00:08:54,407
And if you want
Michael as Santa,
raise your hand.

208
00:08:56,160 --> 00:08:57,244
Can l get you
some punch?

209
00:08:57,328 --> 00:09:00,622
l. . . No, l'll get some punch.
That looks delicious.

210
00:09:01,374 --> 00:09:02,541
(ALL EXCLAlMlNG)

211
00:09:02,625 --> 00:09:03,833
KELLY: Michael !

212
00:09:06,921 --> 00:09:08,004
Excuse me.

213
00:09:08,089 --> 00:09:10,757
Whoever has been sending me
the parts to this gun,

214
00:09:10,841 --> 00:09:13,760
l think you sent me a gear
instead of a trigger.

215
00:09:13,844 --> 00:09:15,804
How do you know it's a gun?

216
00:09:15,888 --> 00:09:17,472
What else does it look like?

217
00:09:18,808 --> 00:09:20,392
Not a gun.

218
00:09:20,476 --> 00:09:22,060
Well, l don't have
all the pieces yet.

219
00:09:22,395 --> 00:09:26,815
Well, unless
the missing piece is a gun,
you don't have a gun.

220
00:09:28,401 --> 00:09:29,734
Not a gun.

221
00:09:30,570 --> 00:09:34,573
ln the North Pole,
l spend many nights alone
tinkering with toys.

222
00:09:34,782 --> 00:09:40,036
So today,
let's put a twinkle in
old Kris Kringle's eye.

223
00:09:40,788 --> 00:09:42,539
Let the party begin !

224
00:09:44,000 --> 00:09:45,417
(ALL EXCLAlMlNG)

225
00:09:49,213 --> 00:09:52,257
l don't ask for
much for Christmas.
l really don't.

226
00:09:52,341 --> 00:09:56,344
lt's not like
l am begging people
to buy me diamonds

227
00:09:57,555 --> 00:09:59,723
and broach pendants.

228
00:10:00,182 --> 00:10:01,224
Oh !

229
00:10:01,350 --> 00:10:05,103
"Buy me something expensive,
or l'm gonna kill myself."
That's not. . .

230
00:10:05,187 --> 00:10:08,481
l don't care about that!
All l want to be is Santa.

231
00:10:08,816 --> 00:10:12,402
And you want to take that
away from me, fine.

232
00:10:13,070 --> 00:10:14,362
Go ahead.

233
00:10:14,864 --> 00:10:16,281
But when
you need my help

234
00:10:16,365 --> 00:10:17,741
because l am
ruining everything,

235
00:10:17,825 --> 00:10:18,908
don't look at me!

236
00:10:23,039 --> 00:10:24,247
Behold,

237
00:10:25,499 --> 00:10:26,958
Jesus Christ.

238
00:10:27,126 --> 00:10:31,338
And l bring to you
glad Christmas tidings.

239
00:10:31,422 --> 00:10:34,966
l want to remind everyone
the true meaning
of Christmas.

240
00:10:35,801 --> 00:10:38,803
Those of you who
wish to join me,
that's great.

241
00:10:38,888 --> 00:10:40,138
l am excited by that,

242
00:10:40,431 --> 00:10:42,057
and those of you who don't,

243
00:10:42,141 --> 00:10:44,643
l forgive you,
but l never forget.

244
00:10:44,727 --> 00:10:48,104
Wow, Michael.
This must be obvious
how wrong this is.

245
00:10:48,606 --> 00:10:49,814
The Antichrist.

246
00:10:49,899 --> 00:10:51,107
Okay, you can't. . .
(EXCLAlMS)

247
00:10:51,692 --> 00:10:53,276
Look, you cannot
push religion.

248
00:10:53,361 --> 00:10:55,195
But l can push drugs in here.

249
00:10:55,279 --> 00:10:56,446
ls that what
you're saying?
No.

250
00:10:56,530 --> 00:10:59,032
Well, you have to
pick one or the other.
Your choice.

251
00:10:59,116 --> 00:11:01,826
Pick your poison.
Get back to me.
ln the meantime,

252
00:11:01,911 --> 00:11:05,413
l am going to
spread my goodness
all over this company!

253
00:11:06,916 --> 00:11:08,208
Hey, Phyllis?

254
00:11:08,292 --> 00:11:11,670
Could you not reveal to Erin
that l'm her secret Santa?

255
00:11:11,754 --> 00:11:13,588
All right, sweetie,
l'll just tell her
it's Michael.

256
00:11:13,673 --> 00:11:14,756
Okay.

257
00:11:15,091 --> 00:11:18,093
BOTH: (SlNGlNG)
I saw three ships
come saiIing in

258
00:11:18,344 --> 00:11:19,427
PAM: Have you talked to him?

259
00:11:19,512 --> 00:11:20,595
What?

260
00:11:21,389 --> 00:11:22,472
Matt.

261
00:11:22,556 --> 00:11:23,765
OSCAR: ls it that obvious?

262
00:11:25,935 --> 00:11:27,227
No. Hey.

263
00:11:28,938 --> 00:11:29,979
Hmm.

264
00:11:30,064 --> 00:11:34,275
Good pâté, right?
Oscar made it.
Have you met Oscar?

265
00:11:34,985 --> 00:11:35,985
l don't think so.

266
00:11:36,070 --> 00:11:37,779
Hey, Oscar, come here.

267
00:11:42,034 --> 00:11:46,287
Oscar, this is Matt,
and Matt loves your pâté.

268
00:11:47,206 --> 00:11:48,415
l had some.

269
00:11:48,499 --> 00:11:49,666
Oscar's pâté's great.

270
00:11:51,085 --> 00:11:54,337
l could eat it all day,
every day. Mmm.

271
00:11:56,674 --> 00:11:59,843
How come the good ones
are never straight, right?

272
00:12:00,094 --> 00:12:01,720
Okay, Pam.
Okay.

273
00:12:02,471 --> 00:12:06,808
Yes. They're the only
two gay guys l know.
But they should be together.

274
00:12:07,977 --> 00:12:11,438
This just arrived
from the Dunder Mifflin
North Pole branch.

275
00:12:11,522 --> 00:12:14,315
We don't have
a North Pole branch.
ldiot!

276
00:12:14,442 --> 00:12:19,195
Uh-oh!
What's Dwight gonna get?
What is it?

277
00:12:19,655 --> 00:12:20,697
Yes!

278
00:12:20,781 --> 00:12:22,741
Oh, yes! lt's space garbage.

279
00:12:22,825 --> 00:12:25,452
Dwight's gonna be abIe
to build himself a friend.

280
00:12:25,536 --> 00:12:27,746
Deck the halls
with crappy gifts

281
00:12:27,830 --> 00:12:31,958
And Stanley,
you've been very
good this year.

282
00:12:32,042 --> 00:12:33,084
l have.

283
00:12:33,169 --> 00:12:35,128
Yeah, except for
cheating on your wife.

284
00:12:35,212 --> 00:12:37,964
AduItery's a sin.
Look it up
in the BibIe, peopIe.

285
00:12:38,048 --> 00:12:39,090
What'd he get?

286
00:12:39,175 --> 00:12:41,050
He got scented candles.

287
00:12:41,510 --> 00:12:44,220
WeII, that's appropriate.
A lot of fire
where you're going.

288
00:12:44,305 --> 00:12:45,722
Better get used to it.

289
00:12:45,806 --> 00:12:48,433
You're going to H-E-L-L,
doubIe hockey sticks.

290
00:12:48,517 --> 00:12:49,726
Going to hell, Stanley.

291
00:12:49,810 --> 00:12:50,935
ANGELA: Amen.

292
00:12:51,353 --> 00:12:53,980
And this brings us
to you, little one.

293
00:12:54,190 --> 00:12:57,025
I can't see from here, peopIe.
Somebody shout it out.

294
00:12:57,109 --> 00:12:58,902
Don't make me get up.

295
00:12:59,570 --> 00:13:02,697
lt's fabric.
l really wanted this.

296
00:13:02,865 --> 00:13:06,451
That's fantastic!
You can make another dress
that goes past your feet.

297
00:13:06,535 --> 00:13:07,702
Andy, was this you?

298
00:13:07,787 --> 00:13:08,787
lt's a secret.

299
00:13:08,871 --> 00:13:11,414
No, Andy had Erin.
PHYLLlS: lt was a secret.

300
00:13:11,499 --> 00:13:12,749
PAM: Michael !
PHYLLlS: You. . .

301
00:13:12,833 --> 00:13:15,376
What? Was l not
supposed to say?

302
00:13:15,711 --> 00:13:16,711
What? Turn it back on.

303
00:13:16,796 --> 00:13:17,796
No.

304
00:13:24,094 --> 00:13:25,261
(DOOR CLOSlNG)

305
00:13:26,889 --> 00:13:28,056
DAVID: Yes, Michael.
What is so urgent?

306
00:13:28,140 --> 00:13:30,517
David, guess who l am
sitting here dressed as.

307
00:13:30,601 --> 00:13:33,311
I'm not going to guess.
You can tell me,
or I wiII hang up.

308
00:13:33,395 --> 00:13:36,314
l will give you a hint.
His last name is Christ.

309
00:13:36,398 --> 00:13:40,026
He has the power of flight.
He can heal leopards.

310
00:13:40,110 --> 00:13:41,152
Michael...

311
00:13:41,237 --> 00:13:42,946
l am Jesus, David,
and you know why?

312
00:13:43,030 --> 00:13:47,408
Because Phyllis,
a woman, has uslurped
my role as Santa.

313
00:13:47,493 --> 00:13:48,493
Michael...
What?

314
00:13:48,577 --> 00:13:50,829
This is a very,
very bad time.

315
00:13:50,913 --> 00:13:53,456
Really? What's going on?

316
00:13:54,959 --> 00:13:56,543
Stephanie,
can you hop off, pIease?

317
00:13:56,627 --> 00:13:57,836
STEPHANlE: Sure, David.

318
00:13:57,920 --> 00:14:01,422
What the hell?
How rude! Does she do
that all the time?

319
00:14:01,674 --> 00:14:03,258
ERlN: Do you want me off
this call too, Michael?

320
00:14:03,342 --> 00:14:06,678
Hey, what? Get off!
Get off the phone!

321
00:14:09,306 --> 00:14:12,475
DAVlD: Listen,
I shouIdn't teII you this,
but the company has a buyer.

322
00:14:12,560 --> 00:14:15,019
The board
will have no choice
but to approve,

323
00:14:15,104 --> 00:14:17,355
and they are going
to clean house.

324
00:14:17,439 --> 00:14:18,690
What does that mean?

325
00:14:18,941 --> 00:14:20,441
l'll be fired.

326
00:14:20,526 --> 00:14:23,027
Well, can't Alan protect you?

327
00:14:23,112 --> 00:14:24,654
Alan will be out, too.
All of us.

328
00:14:25,281 --> 00:14:26,364
All of us?

329
00:14:26,448 --> 00:14:27,448
Goodbye, Michael.

330
00:14:27,616 --> 00:14:28,950
Oh, my God.

331
00:14:32,037 --> 00:14:34,706
MlCHAEL: Earlier today,
this office needed a Santa.

332
00:14:34,790 --> 00:14:39,919
And then it
needed a second Santa.
And then it needed a Jesus.

333
00:14:41,589 --> 00:14:42,797
And now,

334
00:14:44,300 --> 00:14:46,050
it needs a Michael.

335
00:14:47,511 --> 00:14:50,305
And that's one suit
Phyllis cannot fit into.

336
00:14:52,182 --> 00:14:54,684
Hey, how's everybody doing?

337
00:14:55,394 --> 00:14:57,937
Not great.
You heckled Santa
for an hour and a half.

338
00:14:58,022 --> 00:15:00,106
That was a different guy.
That was Jesus.

339
00:15:00,190 --> 00:15:02,483
Jesus sort of
ruined the party.

340
00:15:02,568 --> 00:15:04,193
Hurt, petulant Jesus.

341
00:15:04,278 --> 00:15:06,613
Are you serious?
That is so offensive.

342
00:15:07,948 --> 00:15:09,824
You know what's
even more offensive,

343
00:15:09,909 --> 00:15:14,954
is bailing on this party
because some jerk ruined
the first part of it.

344
00:15:16,290 --> 00:15:17,957
Dwight, come here.

345
00:15:18,542 --> 00:15:21,210
Here's my debit card.
l want you to go pick
up a bunch of pizzas

346
00:15:21,295 --> 00:15:22,378
and meet me in
the conference room.

347
00:15:22,463 --> 00:15:23,504
What's your pin number?

348
00:15:23,589 --> 00:15:25,465
l don't want to say.

349
00:15:25,758 --> 00:15:28,009
But it's fun
to stay at the. . .

350
00:15:30,262 --> 00:15:32,055
lt's fun to stay at the. . .

351
00:15:32,139 --> 00:15:35,016
Where?
Holiday lnn. l don't. . .

352
00:15:35,893 --> 00:15:37,602
(HUMMlNG)

353
00:15:40,898 --> 00:15:43,650
l thought that
you would like it.

354
00:15:43,734 --> 00:15:45,193
lt was a little much, Andy.

355
00:15:45,861 --> 00:15:48,321
Well, it's the thought
that counts.

356
00:15:48,405 --> 00:15:50,073
What were you thinking?

357
00:15:52,117 --> 00:15:56,162
l suppose a gentleman
might throw in the towel
at this point.

358
00:15:58,457 --> 00:16:00,458
Guess what.
Not gonna happen.

359
00:16:00,584 --> 00:16:04,587
You know what?
Christmas isn't
about Santa or Jesus.

360
00:16:04,880 --> 00:16:08,925
lt's about the workplace.
All of you feel
like my family.

361
00:16:09,426 --> 00:16:14,889
Ryan, you are my son,
and Pam, you're my wife,
and Jim. . .

362
00:16:16,141 --> 00:16:20,061
And Angela and Phyllis,
you are my grandmas.

363
00:16:20,312 --> 00:16:23,481
And Stanley,
you're our mailman.

364
00:16:24,274 --> 00:16:27,276
And l can't help but look
at all of your wonderful,
beautiful faces

365
00:16:27,361 --> 00:16:29,112
and think, "How could
they do this to us?"

366
00:16:29,196 --> 00:16:30,154
What?
(ALL MURMURlNG)

367
00:16:30,239 --> 00:16:31,364
How could we do
what to you?

368
00:16:31,448 --> 00:16:32,490
That's not. . .
Never. . . Nothing.

369
00:16:32,574 --> 00:16:33,533
Why would we. . .

370
00:16:33,617 --> 00:16:34,826
We deserve to know.

371
00:16:34,910 --> 00:16:35,994
MlCHAEL: l didn't
say anything !

372
00:16:36,078 --> 00:16:37,328
We're going out of business!

373
00:16:37,413 --> 00:16:38,454
What?
What?

374
00:16:38,539 --> 00:16:39,497
ANDY: You are kidding me.

375
00:16:39,581 --> 00:16:40,665
Wait, wait, wait.
Who said that?

376
00:16:40,749 --> 00:16:42,500
David told me on the phone.
David told me.

377
00:16:42,584 --> 00:16:43,710
ANDY: When?
When did he tell you, today?

378
00:16:43,794 --> 00:16:47,672
Earlier today,
he said we have been sold.

379
00:16:47,756 --> 00:16:48,798
JlM: What?

380
00:16:48,882 --> 00:16:49,882
(YELLlNG)

381
00:16:50,300 --> 00:16:52,260
JlM: Dwight! Jesus.
PAM: Come on !

382
00:16:52,594 --> 00:16:55,346
Michael, wait.
So they said we are sold.

383
00:16:55,431 --> 00:16:57,306
David is gone,
Alan is gone.
We're all gone.

384
00:16:57,391 --> 00:16:58,850
Okay, but we
haven't gone under.

385
00:16:58,934 --> 00:17:00,935
We've been sold,
and that can mean
many different things.

386
00:17:01,020 --> 00:17:03,271
lt's hard for me to
imagine a scenario

387
00:17:03,355 --> 00:17:05,898
where Meredith Palmer
keeps her job and
David Wallace does not.

388
00:17:05,983 --> 00:17:07,692
No offense, Meredith.
No, l get it.

389
00:17:07,776 --> 00:17:08,860
l'll call him.
l'll call David.

390
00:17:08,944 --> 00:17:11,070
No you won't,
because he's not
picking up his phone.

391
00:17:11,155 --> 00:17:14,949
Yes, l will,
because l always know
how to get through to him.

392
00:17:15,617 --> 00:17:18,202
He told me where
his kids go to school.

393
00:17:18,287 --> 00:17:20,788
l call the school.
l tell them
l'm the pediatrician.

394
00:17:20,873 --> 00:17:24,625
They patch me
through to his secretary.
l use my little girl voice.

395
00:17:24,710 --> 00:17:25,877
(EXCLAlMS)

396
00:17:26,503 --> 00:17:27,670
DAVID: Hey, sweetie,
what is it?

397
00:17:27,755 --> 00:17:30,214
lt's not sweetie.
lt's Michael Scott.

398
00:17:30,299 --> 00:17:32,258
What the hell?
Stephanie,
could you hop off, please?

399
00:17:32,342 --> 00:17:34,177
Michael, l have never...

400
00:17:34,261 --> 00:17:35,261
David. . .
...never, ever...

401
00:17:35,345 --> 00:17:36,596
David, you are
on speakerphone

402
00:17:36,680 --> 00:17:39,390
with the entire branch
and the warehouse.

403
00:17:39,475 --> 00:17:41,392
Hi, David.
ALL: Hey, David.

404
00:17:41,810 --> 00:17:42,852
Hi, everyone.

405
00:17:42,936 --> 00:17:45,104
David, they do not believe me

406
00:17:45,647 --> 00:17:48,483
when you told me
that everyone was canned.

407
00:17:48,817 --> 00:17:50,359
You weren't supposed
to teII anyone, MichaeI.

408
00:17:50,444 --> 00:17:51,903
Well, l think
we're past that now.

409
00:17:51,987 --> 00:17:53,571
I am not supposed...

410
00:17:53,655 --> 00:17:55,698
Okay, fine.
Guys, l was really

411
00:17:55,783 --> 00:17:57,575
onIy taIking
about AIan, myseIf,

412
00:17:57,659 --> 00:17:59,410
and a few other
execs you don't know.

413
00:17:59,495 --> 00:18:01,913
Oh, my God.
David, that's horrible.

414
00:18:01,997 --> 00:18:06,542
How about us? lt's Meredith.
By the way, your wife
is a very lucky woman.

415
00:18:06,835 --> 00:18:10,004
Look,
they're buying the company
for the distribution.

416
00:18:10,089 --> 00:18:12,924
You guys are the onIy thing
about this company that works.

417
00:18:13,008 --> 00:18:14,133
So congratulations.

418
00:18:14,218 --> 00:18:15,259
We're not fired?

419
00:18:15,344 --> 00:18:16,761
No. Congratulations.

420
00:18:16,845 --> 00:18:18,471
All right!
Yeah !

421
00:18:18,555 --> 00:18:19,764
(ALL CHEERlNG)

422
00:18:19,848 --> 00:18:21,099
Come on !

423
00:18:21,183 --> 00:18:22,433
lt's a Christmas miracle!

424
00:18:22,684 --> 00:18:23,810
DWlGHT: Yeah !

425
00:18:27,648 --> 00:18:29,607
(SlNGlNG) WaIk a IoneIy road

426
00:18:29,691 --> 00:18:32,860
Only one that
l have ever known

427
00:18:33,362 --> 00:18:35,488
Don't know where it goes

428
00:18:35,572 --> 00:18:38,699
But it's all to me
and l walk alone

429
00:18:39,868 --> 00:18:41,410
lt's true.
Yes.

430
00:18:41,495 --> 00:18:43,454
DWIGHT: We aII waIk aIone.
Jim.

431
00:18:44,915 --> 00:18:49,627
Jim.

432
00:18:50,712 --> 00:18:55,633
My shadow's the onIy one
That walks beside me

433
00:18:56,426 --> 00:18:58,719
My shaIIow heart's...

434
00:19:00,055 --> 00:19:01,139
Wow.

435
00:19:04,101 --> 00:19:06,477
Yeah. That was the idea.
Thank you.

436
00:19:06,562 --> 00:19:08,479
Awesome.
Thanks, man.

437
00:19:10,816 --> 00:19:15,778
(SlNGlNG) Christmas tree
Thou Ieaves are so unchanging

438
00:19:15,863 --> 00:19:17,238
Of course!

439
00:19:19,074 --> 00:19:20,449
You got it?

440
00:19:21,285 --> 00:19:22,368
What is that?

441
00:19:22,452 --> 00:19:23,536
l have no idea.

442
00:19:25,497 --> 00:19:28,166
Well, maybe those will help.

443
00:19:28,250 --> 00:19:30,001
Michael, please. Come on.

444
00:19:31,420 --> 00:19:32,545
Sorry.
Sure.

445
00:19:32,629 --> 00:19:33,629
Nice to meet you, Oscar.

446
00:19:33,714 --> 00:19:34,672
Nice to meet you, Mark.

447
00:19:34,756 --> 00:19:36,757
lt's Matt.
Right, Matt.

448
00:19:38,927 --> 00:19:40,428
l know what l'm doing, Pam.

449
00:19:47,477 --> 00:19:49,228
Oh, man !

450
00:19:50,439 --> 00:19:52,023
l can use this
for so many nuts.

451
00:19:52,107 --> 00:19:54,984
Macadamias,
Brazil nuts, pecans,

452
00:19:55,068 --> 00:19:58,279
almonds, clams, snails.

453
00:19:59,656 --> 00:20:00,948
Hi, Santa.

454
00:20:01,033 --> 00:20:02,283
Hi, Michael.

455
00:20:04,786 --> 00:20:05,870
(GRUNTS)

456
00:20:05,954 --> 00:20:07,079
Okay.

457
00:20:09,041 --> 00:20:10,291
l'd like to make a wish.

458
00:20:10,375 --> 00:20:11,417
What?

459
00:20:12,628 --> 00:20:17,965
l would like an Xbox
and a TV that's
compatible with an Xbox.

460
00:20:20,802 --> 00:20:22,303
And l'm sorry.

461
00:20:25,307 --> 00:20:29,435
An Xbox it is,
because l've decided
you're a good boy.

462
00:20:30,479 --> 00:20:33,147
Scott, what in the hell
is going on here?

463
00:20:33,273 --> 00:20:35,066
No, no, no.
We worked it out.
You called Bob? Phyllis!

464
00:20:35,150 --> 00:20:37,568
l'm sorry. l'm really sorry.
lt was earlier today.

465
00:20:37,653 --> 00:20:38,819
Okay.

466
00:20:39,321 --> 00:20:40,404
Hi, sweetheart.
You okay, baby?

467
00:20:40,489 --> 00:20:41,572
l'm good, baby.

468
00:20:41,657 --> 00:20:43,908
Oh, God. Get a room, Santas.

469
00:20:46,578 --> 00:20:48,496
DWlGHT: Thank you, Santa.

470
00:20:48,580 --> 00:20:49,914
Okay, happy holidays.

471
00:20:50,999 --> 00:20:53,251
lt's real slippery out here.

472
00:20:56,546 --> 00:20:58,339
Oh, my God.

473
00:20:58,423 --> 00:20:59,840
Twelve drummers drumming.

474
00:21:13,230 --> 00:21:16,065
Merry Christmas, Erin.
Take it away, boys!

475
00:21:16,149 --> 00:21:17,692
(RHYTHMlC DRUMBEATS)