1
00:00:03,294 --> 00:00:04,962
MlCHAEL: Dunder MiffIin
is about to be sold,

2
00:00:05,046 --> 00:00:08,674
but first an investment
banker has to drop by
and sign off on our branch.

3
00:00:08,758 --> 00:00:12,553
And l'm pretty
nervous about it,

4
00:00:12,637 --> 00:00:17,433
and l'm making
some cosmetic tweaks

5
00:00:18,143 --> 00:00:22,104
to help create
a more appealing environment.

6
00:00:23,273 --> 00:00:25,566
Is that dishonest?
Well, think of it this way.

7
00:00:25,650 --> 00:00:27,151
When you look in
the mirror and you see

8
00:00:27,235 --> 00:00:28,694
your push-up bra and
your fake eyelashes

9
00:00:28,778 --> 00:00:31,864
and your makeup and
your press-on nails,

10
00:00:32,991 --> 00:00:35,617
the principles that
l'm applying to the office

11
00:00:35,702 --> 00:00:38,829
are the same ones
that have made
Lady Gaga a star.

12
00:00:38,913 --> 00:00:40,789
Or any number of drag queens.

13
00:01:06,483 --> 00:01:08,817
Hi.
DWIGHT: Hello, Eric Ward.

14
00:01:09,486 --> 00:01:12,071
WeIcome to Dunder MiffIin.

15
00:01:12,155 --> 00:01:16,366
I am Computron,
your answer to everything.

16
00:01:17,285 --> 00:01:18,911
Hello.
Hello.

17
00:01:18,995 --> 00:01:21,413
l see you've met Computron,
our virtual helper.

18
00:01:21,498 --> 00:01:24,416
l'm Michael Scott.
Welcome, welcome.

19
00:01:24,501 --> 00:01:28,087
Computron is just one
of the many modern devices

20
00:01:28,171 --> 00:01:31,131
that l have incorporated
into the office.

21
00:01:31,216 --> 00:01:32,883
Watch this. Computron?
Yes.

22
00:01:32,967 --> 00:01:35,177
What is the world's
largest ocean?

23
00:01:35,261 --> 00:01:38,931
CaIcuIating.

24
00:01:39,015 --> 00:01:40,182
Pacific!

25
00:01:40,266 --> 00:01:42,976
Pacific Ocean.
Pretty cool, huh?

26
00:01:43,061 --> 00:01:44,103
Great news, Michael,

27
00:01:44,187 --> 00:01:46,772
we're now the official
paper supplier of the NFL.

28
00:01:46,856 --> 00:01:50,818
That is fantastic. lt's good,
but it's not good enough.
Keep working.

29
00:01:51,444 --> 00:01:52,611
And here's Pam.

30
00:01:52,695 --> 00:01:54,113
She's our international
sales consultant.

31
00:01:54,197 --> 00:01:55,197
Hello.

32
00:01:55,281 --> 00:02:01,120
DWlGHT: The NFL ceIebrated
its 50th anniversary
in 1 972.

33
00:02:01,204 --> 00:02:02,162
(GREETlNG lN SPANlSH)

34
00:02:02,247 --> 00:02:03,247
(GREETlNG lN FRENCH)

35
00:02:03,331 --> 00:02:04,331
(GREETlNG lN CHlNESE)

36
00:02:05,208 --> 00:02:08,919
lt might seem crazy,
but since there's no
one left in New York,

37
00:02:09,003 --> 00:02:12,422
Michael is Dunder Mifflin's
highest ranking employee.

38
00:02:13,508 --> 00:02:15,467
So, that's where we are.

39
00:02:15,885 --> 00:02:16,969
Hello, Stanley.

40
00:02:17,053 --> 00:02:18,053
Hi.

41
00:02:18,763 --> 00:02:21,849
For the record,
not onboard
with fake Stanley.

42
00:02:24,144 --> 00:02:25,352
Although, l get it.

43
00:02:25,520 --> 00:02:28,021
l just need to
check out your warehouse
and then talk to your HR guy.

44
00:02:28,106 --> 00:02:30,315
That is pretty
much the only reason
that l came here today.

45
00:02:30,400 --> 00:02:32,192
Okay.
Well, l thought l'd show
you around a little bit. . .

46
00:02:32,318 --> 00:02:33,861
Right.
. . .since you
made the trip out.

47
00:02:33,945 --> 00:02:37,072
And l got us reservations
at Coopers Seafood.
You like lobster?

48
00:02:37,157 --> 00:02:38,198
You've had
lobster before, right?

49
00:02:38,283 --> 00:02:39,324
Yeah.

50
00:02:39,409 --> 00:02:42,411
They make
the best Maine lobster
in the world. You'll love it.

51
00:02:42,495 --> 00:02:44,580
DWlGHT: MuI Yam
in TeI Aviv is better.

52
00:02:44,664 --> 00:02:48,000
No, Computron, actually,
l think Coopers is the best.

53
00:02:48,084 --> 00:02:49,209
You're going to love it.

54
00:02:49,294 --> 00:02:51,461
Are you calling me wrong?

55
00:02:51,546 --> 00:02:52,713
(SlGHS) Oh, my God.

56
00:02:53,256 --> 00:02:55,257
ERlC: It's caIIed
due diligence.

57
00:02:55,383 --> 00:02:57,342
Basically,
I confirm inventory,

58
00:02:57,427 --> 00:03:00,846
take a head count,
see if there are
any HR liabilities.

59
00:03:01,139 --> 00:03:03,432
l'm a glorified fact checker.

60
00:03:05,351 --> 00:03:07,603
Actually,
l am a fact checker.

61
00:03:08,521 --> 00:03:09,938
All right.

62
00:03:10,815 --> 00:03:12,691
Excuse me. lf you will. . .
RYAN: Hey, Michael,

63
00:03:12,817 --> 00:03:14,735
do you think l
could get a space here?
. . .follow me this way.

64
00:03:14,819 --> 00:03:18,030
l will introduce you
to the crack HR rep
that you requested.

65
00:03:18,114 --> 00:03:21,950
l give you Toby Flenderson.
Have fun, you two.

66
00:03:22,577 --> 00:03:24,870
Oh, we will. Have a seat.

67
00:03:29,250 --> 00:03:30,250
Mmm.

68
00:03:30,335 --> 00:03:33,879
(WHlSPERlNG) l left a copy
of Best American
Mystery Stories 1 999

69
00:03:33,963 --> 00:03:37,716
in Toby's favorite stall.
So, yes, l think l
bought us some time.

70
00:03:38,134 --> 00:03:42,930
So, the manager,
Michael Scott

71
00:03:43,806 --> 00:03:45,557
is a bit of a character.

72
00:03:45,642 --> 00:03:48,268
He has more character
in a single flake
of his dandruff

73
00:03:48,353 --> 00:03:51,897
than you have in
that entire snow bank
on your shoulder.

74
00:03:52,815 --> 00:03:54,191
So, what was the question?

75
00:03:54,275 --> 00:03:56,276
What are you
doing at my desk?

76
00:03:56,402 --> 00:03:58,403
lgnore him.
He's the local lunatic.

77
00:03:58,488 --> 00:04:00,155
Come on, Dwight,
get out of here.

78
00:04:00,323 --> 00:04:01,990
Dwight? Who is this Dwight?

79
00:04:02,075 --> 00:04:03,158
Oh !

80
00:04:03,993 --> 00:04:05,410
You mean Dwight Schrute,

81
00:04:05,495 --> 00:04:08,747
the company's top salesman
and the creator of Computron.

82
00:04:08,831 --> 00:04:11,375
l wear many hats,
but the one
l'm wearing currently

83
00:04:11,459 --> 00:04:12,417
is that of gracious host.

84
00:04:12,502 --> 00:04:13,669
(LAUGHlNG)

85
00:04:14,128 --> 00:04:15,379
Welcome.

86
00:04:17,465 --> 00:04:21,802
Sorry. Hey, Toby Flenderson.
Nice to meet you.
How can l help?

87
00:04:23,054 --> 00:04:25,931
Are there any
outstanding liability issues
to be aware of?

88
00:04:26,015 --> 00:04:27,057
What do you mean?

89
00:04:27,141 --> 00:04:31,311
Well, safety issues,
injuries that could leave

90
00:04:31,396 --> 00:04:34,481
the company open to
any potential lawsuits.

91
00:04:35,066 --> 00:04:36,191
Um. . .

92
00:04:37,068 --> 00:04:38,110
Nothing comes to mind.

93
00:04:38,194 --> 00:04:39,778
DARRYL: Mike,
get off of the lift.
PIease!

94
00:04:39,862 --> 00:04:40,862
Come on, now.

95
00:04:40,947 --> 00:04:42,030
MlCHAEL: I'm fine.
I'm fine. I'm fine.

96
00:04:42,115 --> 00:04:43,699
Look, would you. . .
Look. . .

97
00:04:44,867 --> 00:04:46,535
(EXCLAlMlNG)

98
00:04:50,873 --> 00:04:52,124
We'll get somebody
to clean that up.

99
00:04:52,333 --> 00:04:53,667
We're the ones
that gotta clean that up!

100
00:04:54,252 --> 00:04:55,252
l feel very blessed.

101
00:04:55,336 --> 00:04:56,336
(GRUNTS)

102
00:05:00,883 --> 00:05:02,384
(EXCLAlMlNG lN FRENCH)

103
00:05:04,887 --> 00:05:06,555
Drop that sucker.

104
00:05:07,056 --> 00:05:09,016
Yeah ! Bingo!

105
00:05:09,100 --> 00:05:10,434
(MlCHAEL EXCLAlMS)

106
00:05:10,518 --> 00:05:11,727
(CAR ALARM BLARlNG)

107
00:05:13,146 --> 00:05:14,688
Do it!
Yeah !

108
00:05:22,280 --> 00:05:25,240
Today, smoking is
going to save lives.

109
00:05:27,035 --> 00:05:28,994
DWlGHT: Run, run.
MlCHAEL: Okay, okay.

110
00:05:29,078 --> 00:05:30,746
Calm, please.

111
00:05:30,830 --> 00:05:31,872
Oscar!

112
00:05:31,956 --> 00:05:33,248
Stay alive, l'm getting help!

113
00:05:33,333 --> 00:05:34,750
Pull me up!
You're too heavy.

114
00:05:34,834 --> 00:05:36,043
l only weigh 82 pounds.

115
00:05:36,127 --> 00:05:37,169
(CAT MEOWS)

116
00:05:37,253 --> 00:05:38,670
Save Bandit!

117
00:05:38,838 --> 00:05:39,838
(CAT YOWLS)

118
00:05:41,466 --> 00:05:42,466
(EXCLAlMS)

119
00:05:42,675 --> 00:05:44,676
Seriously, are you
gonna sit in the back?

120
00:05:45,511 --> 00:05:47,888
Yeah. lt's the safest
part of a car.

121
00:05:47,972 --> 00:05:51,308
ln the event of a crash,
the driver always protects
his side first.

122
00:05:52,101 --> 00:05:53,310
(BRAKES)

123
00:05:54,937 --> 00:05:56,313
(DWlGHT BREATHlNG HEAVlLY)

124
00:05:58,566 --> 00:06:00,108
(YELLlNG)

125
00:06:01,194 --> 00:06:02,569
(SCREAMlNG)

126
00:06:05,948 --> 00:06:06,948
My hair!

127
00:06:07,784 --> 00:06:10,035
Get off! Get off me!

128
00:06:10,119 --> 00:06:11,119
l got it! l got it!

129
00:06:11,204 --> 00:06:12,454
Get it off!

130
00:06:12,705 --> 00:06:14,122
(SCREAMlNG)

131
00:06:22,757 --> 00:06:24,341
You're welcome.

132
00:06:26,052 --> 00:06:29,429
So, the staff,
are people generally happy?

133
00:06:29,514 --> 00:06:31,098
(LAUGHlNG)

134
00:06:35,395 --> 00:06:37,354
Happy is a funny word.

135
00:06:38,064 --> 00:06:39,481
ln what way?

136
00:06:39,607 --> 00:06:40,982
You know. . .

137
00:06:42,485 --> 00:06:45,529
You know, what does
it mean to be happy?

138
00:06:48,157 --> 00:06:50,742
Keep philosophers
busy for a while.

139
00:06:50,827 --> 00:06:53,120
So, generally?

140
00:06:53,204 --> 00:06:54,246
Yes.

141
00:06:54,330 --> 00:06:56,331
Generally.
Generally happy.

142
00:06:56,416 --> 00:06:57,666
Generally happy.

143
00:06:57,959 --> 00:06:58,959
(YELLlNG)

144
00:06:59,043 --> 00:07:00,043
(GROANS)

145
00:07:01,838 --> 00:07:02,838
(SHOUTlNG)

146
00:07:03,840 --> 00:07:07,509
l don't know
what streets we. . . Ow!
What are you doing?

147
00:07:07,593 --> 00:07:09,010
lt would be better
if you were unconscious.

148
00:07:10,471 --> 00:07:11,471
Ow!

149
00:07:11,556 --> 00:07:14,433
Try my googy googy.
Try my googy googy.
Try my. . .

150
00:07:15,935 --> 00:07:17,561
Excuse me.
Don't touch me!

151
00:07:17,645 --> 00:07:18,645
(EXCLAlMlNG)

152
00:07:18,938 --> 00:07:20,730
Hey! Whoa, whoa, whoa!

153
00:07:20,815 --> 00:07:22,899
Can't we all just get along?

154
00:07:23,943 --> 00:07:28,196
Or have we forgotten the words
of the Reverend King?

155
00:07:29,365 --> 00:07:32,951
What about non-safety issues
in terms of liability?

156
00:07:33,035 --> 00:07:35,245
Sexual harassment?
Anything like that?

157
00:07:35,371 --> 00:07:37,622
Well, l don't know.

158
00:07:39,750 --> 00:07:41,501
You don't know?

159
00:07:42,336 --> 00:07:43,837
l don't know.

160
00:07:44,213 --> 00:07:45,964
You're the head
of human resources.

161
00:07:46,048 --> 00:07:47,048
l don't know.

162
00:07:47,133 --> 00:07:48,133
No.
Okay.

163
00:07:48,217 --> 00:07:53,638
Stanley?
How about that hot picture
you have by your desk?

164
00:07:53,723 --> 00:07:55,765
Centerfold in the
Catholic schoolgirl's outfit?

165
00:07:55,850 --> 00:07:59,019
l mean, it is hot, it is sexy,
and it turns him on.

166
00:07:59,103 --> 00:08:03,106
And l will admit,
best part of my morning
is staring at it.

167
00:08:03,191 --> 00:08:04,733
But what? Are we gonna
just take it away?

168
00:08:04,817 --> 00:08:07,777
That is my daughter,
she goes to
Catholic girls' school.

169
00:08:08,905 --> 00:08:10,572
Michael.
Come in !

170
00:08:11,782 --> 00:08:12,908
Hey!
Oh, my God !

171
00:08:12,992 --> 00:08:14,034
What are you doing?
What are you doing?

172
00:08:14,160 --> 00:08:15,410
You said,
come in !
No, l didn't!

173
00:08:15,495 --> 00:08:17,245
Just, please,
get out.
Oh, my God !

174
00:08:18,039 --> 00:08:20,081
What's wrong
with my outfit?

175
00:08:20,166 --> 00:08:22,918
(STAMMERlNG) You might
consider pulling it
down a touch.

176
00:08:23,002 --> 00:08:25,629
Bunch of prudes.
You know, Oscar's
allowed to wear sandals,

177
00:08:25,713 --> 00:08:27,464
(ALL GASPlNG)
but l'm not allowed to
wear open-toed shoes?

178
00:08:27,548 --> 00:08:29,007
ls that how it goes?

179
00:08:29,091 --> 00:08:30,342
Meredith, your boob is out.

180
00:08:30,426 --> 00:08:31,468
Fine.

181
00:08:31,552 --> 00:08:33,345
(ALL GROANlNG)
Too far, Meredith !
Too far!

182
00:08:33,429 --> 00:08:35,347
Damn it, Meredith,
where are your
panties?

183
00:08:35,431 --> 00:08:36,723
lt's casual day.

184
00:08:36,807 --> 00:08:38,600
Come here, give me a kiss,
come on.

185
00:08:38,684 --> 00:08:41,019
Michael, come on,
you don't have
to worry. l'm not

186
00:08:41,103 --> 00:08:44,022
gonna report you to HR.
l'm not. . . l'm not worried !

187
00:08:44,106 --> 00:08:45,941
You know what?
The only thing
l am worried about

188
00:08:46,651 --> 00:08:48,443
is getting a boner.

189
00:08:50,154 --> 00:08:52,656
l'm now going to read aloud
your submitted
medical conditions.

190
00:08:52,740 --> 00:08:54,783
When you hear yours read,
please raise your hand

191
00:08:54,867 --> 00:08:56,201
to indicate
that it is real.

192
00:08:56,285 --> 00:08:59,204
lf you do not
raise your hand,
it will not be covered.

193
00:08:59,288 --> 00:09:01,373
Number one,
inverted penis.

194
00:09:03,876 --> 00:09:08,713
Could you mean vagina?
Because if you do,
l want that covered.

195
00:09:08,798 --> 00:09:11,466
l thought your
vagina was removed
during your hysterectomy.

196
00:09:11,551 --> 00:09:16,638
A uterus is
different from a vagina.
l still have a vagina.

197
00:09:20,226 --> 00:09:21,893
Attention, everyone. Hello.

198
00:09:21,978 --> 00:09:25,730
Yes, l just want you
to know that,
this is not my decision.

199
00:09:25,815 --> 00:09:28,441
You can consider this
my retirement from comedy.

200
00:09:28,526 --> 00:09:31,319
Does that include
"that's what she said"?

201
00:09:32,655 --> 00:09:33,697
Yes.

202
00:09:33,781 --> 00:09:35,657
Wow, that is really hard.

203
00:09:37,201 --> 00:09:40,036
You really think
you can go all day long?

204
00:09:40,913 --> 00:09:44,666
Well, you always left me
satisfied and smiling, so. . .

205
00:09:46,544 --> 00:09:47,794
That's what she said !

206
00:09:47,878 --> 00:09:49,629
Michael !

207
00:09:49,839 --> 00:09:51,548
Why did you
get it so big?

208
00:09:51,632 --> 00:09:53,174
That's what she said.

209
00:09:54,010 --> 00:09:55,760
Does the skin look
red and swollen?

210
00:09:55,845 --> 00:09:57,304
That's what she said.

211
00:09:57,388 --> 00:09:59,681
That's my joke.
Damn it, Dwight.

212
00:09:59,765 --> 00:10:02,309
How about
the Phyllis-Angela dispute?

213
00:10:02,393 --> 00:10:03,560
You already did me.

214
00:10:03,644 --> 00:10:05,061
(MOUTHlNG)
MlCHAEL: That's
what she said.

215
00:10:05,146 --> 00:10:06,271
ls there any mustard?

216
00:10:06,355 --> 00:10:09,482
No mustard ! No mustard !
Just eat it!

217
00:10:09,567 --> 00:10:11,109
Eat it, Phyllis.
Dip it in the water

218
00:10:11,193 --> 00:10:12,736
so it'll slide down
your gullet more easily.

219
00:10:12,820 --> 00:10:13,862
KELLY: That's what she said.

220
00:10:13,946 --> 00:10:14,946
Oh,
no, no, no, no, not that. . .

221
00:10:15,031 --> 00:10:16,698
Just come on,
you guys, let's do it.

222
00:10:22,496 --> 00:10:25,582
TOBY: I don't know how
I'm going to get through this.

223
00:10:25,916 --> 00:10:27,709
I don't want to Iie.

224
00:10:28,044 --> 00:10:30,545
And l don't want
to tell the truth.

225
00:10:33,299 --> 00:10:36,551
Hey, Tobes, what you doing?
What you guys talking about?

226
00:10:36,636 --> 00:10:38,845
We're just going
over some stuff.

227
00:10:38,929 --> 00:10:41,014
Stuff? l love stuff.

228
00:10:41,098 --> 00:10:42,515
lt's HR stuff.

229
00:10:42,600 --> 00:10:46,394
HR stuff? H.R. Pufnstuf.

230
00:10:46,854 --> 00:10:50,398
Right up my alley.
What is that?
What kind of stuff is that?

231
00:10:50,483 --> 00:10:53,026
lt's a company
evaluation form.

232
00:10:53,110 --> 00:10:54,152
Ah !

233
00:10:54,278 --> 00:10:55,278
We're talking about. . .

234
00:10:55,363 --> 00:10:57,238
Talking about what?

235
00:10:58,115 --> 00:10:59,115
Waste is next.

236
00:10:59,200 --> 00:11:00,408
Waste?

237
00:11:00,743 --> 00:11:03,370
What does that even mean?
Like garbage?

238
00:11:03,454 --> 00:11:04,913
No, waste of time,
resources.

239
00:11:04,997 --> 00:11:06,748
Oh ! Time and resources.

240
00:11:07,792 --> 00:11:09,000
Look, you know,
in any company,

241
00:11:09,085 --> 00:11:10,168
there's gonna be
a certain degree. . .

242
00:11:10,252 --> 00:11:14,589
No. No, no, no, no, no.
Respectfully, Toby, no.

243
00:11:14,674 --> 00:11:17,509
No. This company
does not waste time
or resources ever.

244
00:11:18,761 --> 00:11:21,429
(BOTH EXCLAlMlNG)

245
00:11:27,853 --> 00:11:29,979
(ALL CHEERlNG)

246
00:11:30,981 --> 00:11:33,233
JlM: Dig deep. Dig deep.

247
00:11:33,609 --> 00:11:35,527
(ALL EXCLAlMlNG)

248
00:11:35,611 --> 00:11:37,737
lt's Phyllis,
Phyllis by a nose.

249
00:11:37,822 --> 00:11:40,615
Gold medal in Flernenton.
Flonkerton.

250
00:11:41,242 --> 00:11:42,867
Where is my desk?

251
00:11:44,412 --> 00:11:45,495
That is weird.

252
00:11:46,455 --> 00:11:49,958
Happy holidays, Dwight.
But do not open
it till Christmas.

253
00:11:50,042 --> 00:11:52,043
You're so pathetic.
Well, l hope
it was worth it,

254
00:11:52,128 --> 00:11:54,838
because l'm going to
take it apart in
about five minutes.

255
00:11:54,922 --> 00:11:56,506
l think it'll
take you a little bit
longer than that.

256
00:11:56,590 --> 00:11:59,259
lf l can skin a mule deer
in less than 1 0 minutes,

257
00:11:59,343 --> 00:12:00,510
l ought to be
able to cut my. . .

258
00:12:03,264 --> 00:12:04,264
(GRUNTS lN FRUSTRATlON)

259
00:12:04,348 --> 00:12:06,182
Damn it! Jim !

260
00:12:06,267 --> 00:12:07,726
Okay. Hold on, hold on.

261
00:12:07,810 --> 00:12:10,228
Judge is in session.
What is the problem here?

262
00:12:10,312 --> 00:12:12,063
He put my stuff
in Jell-O again.

263
00:12:12,148 --> 00:12:13,481
(PAM LAUGHlNG)

264
00:12:14,108 --> 00:12:17,026
(lN DEEP VOlCE) Bang, boom,
shake, klump!

265
00:12:17,319 --> 00:12:20,321
Why, hello, everybody.

266
00:12:21,699 --> 00:12:22,991
What are you doing?

267
00:12:23,993 --> 00:12:24,993
(ALL EXCLAlMlNG)

268
00:12:25,077 --> 00:12:28,329
Question, what kind
of bear is best?

269
00:12:29,373 --> 00:12:30,540
That's a ridiculous question.

270
00:12:30,624 --> 00:12:32,417
False. Black bear.

271
00:12:32,501 --> 00:12:34,002
Well, that's debatable.

272
00:12:34,086 --> 00:12:35,503
There are basically
two schools of thought.

273
00:12:35,588 --> 00:12:37,964
Fact, bears eat beets.
Oh. . .

274
00:12:38,507 --> 00:12:40,550
Bears, beets,

275
00:12:40,634 --> 00:12:42,844
BattIestar GaIactica.
Bears do not. . .

276
00:12:43,429 --> 00:12:46,181
What is going on?
What are you doing?

277
00:12:48,225 --> 00:12:50,351
ldentity theft is
not a joke, Jim !

278
00:12:50,978 --> 00:12:53,062
Millions of families
suffer every year!

279
00:12:54,148 --> 00:12:55,356
Michael !

280
00:12:55,441 --> 00:12:57,525
Oh, that's funny. Michael !

281
00:12:57,693 --> 00:12:59,360
ls anyone near
retirement age?

282
00:13:02,281 --> 00:13:03,948
MlCHAEL: This is Creed.

283
00:13:04,033 --> 00:13:06,451
And he is in charge
of something.

284
00:13:06,535 --> 00:13:07,619
Right?
That is correct.

285
00:13:07,703 --> 00:13:09,287
Say hi to the kids.
Hi, kids.

286
00:13:09,371 --> 00:13:10,497
MlCHAEL: Yay!

287
00:13:10,539 --> 00:13:13,416
Have you ever seen
a foot with four toes?
KlDS: Ew!

288
00:13:13,501 --> 00:13:16,544
MlCHAEL: What are you doing?
Stop it! Stop it! Just. . .
No, no, no, no, no!

289
00:13:16,629 --> 00:13:17,629
Would you cut it out?

290
00:13:17,838 --> 00:13:19,756
Okay. Ryan, you told Toby

291
00:13:19,840 --> 00:13:23,301
that Creed has a distinct
old man smell?

292
00:13:25,721 --> 00:13:27,305
l know exactly
what he's talking about.

293
00:13:27,389 --> 00:13:30,892
I sprout mung beans
on a damp paper towel
in my desk drawer.

294
00:13:30,976 --> 00:13:33,770
Very nutritious,
but they smell like death.

295
00:13:34,939 --> 00:13:36,064
Hey, where's Dwight?

296
00:13:36,232 --> 00:13:37,315
You didn't hear?

297
00:13:37,399 --> 00:13:42,153
Decapitated. Whole big thing.
We had a funeral for a bird.

298
00:13:43,864 --> 00:13:45,824
l'm pretty sure
none of that's real.

299
00:13:45,908 --> 00:13:47,325
You're not real, man.

300
00:13:48,994 --> 00:13:53,122
Hey.
Yeah, l finally got a chance
to sit down with HR.

301
00:13:54,375 --> 00:13:55,500
So. . .

302
00:13:56,752 --> 00:13:58,586
Well, l think
l'm gonna be here
for a while.

303
00:14:01,215 --> 00:14:05,176
This is a building where
friends become lovers,

304
00:14:05,928 --> 00:14:11,182
and lovers become
sexually interactive, right?

305
00:14:11,267 --> 00:14:12,308
Would you agree with that?

306
00:14:12,393 --> 00:14:14,769
Michael,
this is really inappropriate
to talk about.

307
00:14:14,854 --> 00:14:16,312
That is true.

308
00:14:16,522 --> 00:14:17,605
Mmm.

309
00:14:29,451 --> 00:14:30,451
(EXCLAlMS)

310
00:14:31,120 --> 00:14:32,620
l like you.

311
00:14:33,789 --> 00:14:36,082
But you need to access
your un-crazy side.

312
00:14:36,166 --> 00:14:39,961
Darryl Philbin is the most
complicated man
that l've ever met.

313
00:14:40,462 --> 00:14:42,672
l mean, who says exactly
what they're thinking?

314
00:14:45,009 --> 00:14:46,426
What kind of game is that?

315
00:14:46,635 --> 00:14:50,013
l am so happy
we don't have to
break up now, Ryan !

316
00:14:51,557 --> 00:14:53,141
lt is the best day
of my whole life!

317
00:14:53,309 --> 00:14:56,227
When l said that
l wanted to have kids,

318
00:14:56,312 --> 00:14:59,939
and you said that
you wanted me to have
a vasectomy, what did l do?

319
00:15:00,024 --> 00:15:02,525
And then, when you said that
you might want to have kids,

320
00:15:02,610 --> 00:15:05,570
and l wasn't so sure,
who had the vasectomy
reversed?

321
00:15:05,654 --> 00:15:07,614
And then when you said
you definitely didn't
want to have kids?

322
00:15:07,698 --> 00:15:08,948
Who had it reversed back?

323
00:15:09,033 --> 00:15:11,159
Snip, snap!
Snip, snap!
Snip, snap!

324
00:15:11,285 --> 00:15:12,410
l did !
JAN: Okay. . .

325
00:15:12,494 --> 00:15:17,665
You have no idea the physical
toll that three vasectomies
have on a person !

326
00:15:17,958 --> 00:15:19,626
RYAN: Kelly, l'm your
boss now, okay?

327
00:15:19,710 --> 00:15:21,753
You can't keep
talking to me like
l'm your boyfriend.

328
00:15:21,837 --> 00:15:25,131
Oh, big strong man,
fancy new whatever.

329
00:15:25,215 --> 00:15:26,382
l don't think you
ever cared about me.

330
00:15:26,467 --> 00:15:27,592
l never cared about you?

331
00:15:27,676 --> 00:15:29,427
Six months ago,
Karen Filippelli
sent me an email,

332
00:15:29,511 --> 00:15:31,179
asked me out,
l said no,

333
00:15:31,263 --> 00:15:32,931
because l was committed
to our relationship.

334
00:15:33,015 --> 00:15:35,558
Well, l hope
you're still committed,
because l'm pregnant.

335
00:15:38,812 --> 00:15:40,271
This is an image

336
00:15:41,106 --> 00:15:45,610
that l want you
people to remember
for a long time to come.

337
00:15:45,694 --> 00:15:46,945
Whenever you come
into the office,

338
00:15:47,029 --> 00:15:48,988
l want you to
think about this.

339
00:15:49,448 --> 00:15:51,115
We don't need to.

340
00:15:51,200 --> 00:15:52,533
Yes, we do.
What?

341
00:16:01,418 --> 00:16:02,710
(GRUNTlNG)

342
00:16:08,592 --> 00:16:09,884
l did it!

343
00:16:11,845 --> 00:16:13,638
Thank you.
Thank you.

344
00:16:13,764 --> 00:16:16,265
Jim has got it bad for Pam.

345
00:16:16,350 --> 00:16:18,810
Oh ! Which one is Pam?

346
00:16:20,562 --> 00:16:22,313
What?
Nothing.

347
00:16:23,232 --> 00:16:25,441
Okay.
What?

348
00:16:26,276 --> 00:16:27,694
l don't know. What?

349
00:16:28,821 --> 00:16:29,862
Oh, my God !

350
00:16:30,364 --> 00:16:31,823
Did you wanna
tell me something?

351
00:16:31,907 --> 00:16:34,283
You look like you want
to tell me something.

352
00:16:34,368 --> 00:16:36,285
You look like
you have something
really important to say

353
00:16:36,370 --> 00:16:38,871
and you just can't
for some reason.

354
00:16:40,958 --> 00:16:42,583
Come on, you can tell me.

355
00:16:43,377 --> 00:16:45,753
Jim, you can tell me anything.

356
00:16:53,762 --> 00:16:55,013
You have new music?

357
00:16:55,097 --> 00:16:56,180
Yeah.

358
00:16:57,099 --> 00:16:58,516
Definitely.

359
00:16:59,518 --> 00:17:01,185
(MELODlC lNSTRUMENTAL
MUSlC PLAYlNG)

360
00:17:05,983 --> 00:17:07,400
(MOUTHlNG)

361
00:17:10,195 --> 00:17:11,738
MlCHAEL: Bring it in.
Here we go.

362
00:17:11,864 --> 00:17:13,239
(LAUGHlNG)

363
00:17:16,744 --> 00:17:18,119
JlM: Look inside.

364
00:17:23,333 --> 00:17:24,792
Oh, my God !

365
00:17:29,465 --> 00:17:31,424
But l bet Jim got the job.

366
00:17:31,508 --> 00:17:35,678
l mean, why wouldn't he?
He's totally qualified
and smart.

367
00:17:35,763 --> 00:17:37,096
Everyone loves him.

368
00:17:37,181 --> 00:17:39,098
If he never comes back again,

369
00:17:39,183 --> 00:17:40,600
that's okay.

370
00:17:41,310 --> 00:17:42,560
We're friends.

371
00:17:42,644 --> 00:17:44,437
We just. . . We never
got the timing right.

372
00:17:44,521 --> 00:17:46,147
But you know what,
it's okay.

373
00:17:47,191 --> 00:17:49,025
l'm totally fine.

374
00:17:49,109 --> 00:17:50,359
Everything is
going to be totally. . .

375
00:17:50,444 --> 00:17:51,652
Pam.

376
00:17:51,737 --> 00:17:52,820
Sorry.

377
00:17:54,073 --> 00:17:55,823
Are you free for
dinner tonight?

378
00:17:56,575 --> 00:17:57,658
Yes.

379
00:17:57,743 --> 00:18:00,161
All right.
Then it's a date.

380
00:18:08,921 --> 00:18:10,755
l'm sorry.
What was the question?

381
00:18:11,799 --> 00:18:13,174
Oh, my God.

382
00:18:15,969 --> 00:18:18,304
Pam, will you marry me?

383
00:18:18,388 --> 00:18:19,514
Oh, my God !

384
00:18:19,848 --> 00:18:21,390
(ALL CHEERlNG)

385
00:19:02,391 --> 00:19:04,100
TOBY: Thank you so much.
KEVlN: Thank you.

386
00:19:04,184 --> 00:19:05,977
ANGELA: Thank you.
ERlC: Thank you.

387
00:19:06,061 --> 00:19:07,478
lt's nice to meet you all.

388
00:19:07,563 --> 00:19:08,604
TOBY: Good to meet you.

389
00:19:08,689 --> 00:19:09,689
PAM: Have a great day.
Thank you.

390
00:19:09,815 --> 00:19:11,357
DWlGHT: Hope to
see you soon.
KEVlN: Yeah.

391
00:19:11,441 --> 00:19:13,651
MlCHAEL: I feeI very sorry
for that banker because

392
00:19:13,735 --> 00:19:16,070
he has to evaIuate
what we are worth.

393
00:19:17,072 --> 00:19:20,992
He has to decide
what we're capable of.
And how do you do that?

394
00:19:22,077 --> 00:19:27,206
What is Jim capable of?
Or Pam? Or Kevin?

395
00:19:28,709 --> 00:19:31,294
(SlNGlNG)
Out of paper, out of stock

396
00:19:31,753 --> 00:19:34,672
Those friendly faces
around the bIock

397
00:19:34,756 --> 00:19:36,799
Break Ioose
from the chains

398
00:19:37,259 --> 00:19:39,427
That are causing
you pain

399
00:19:39,511 --> 00:19:42,597
ALL: (SlNGlNG)
CaII MichaeI and StanIey,
Jim, Dwight, Creed

400
00:19:42,681 --> 00:19:46,017
CaII Andy and KeIIy
For your business paper needs

401
00:19:46,101 --> 00:19:47,643
Dunder MiffIin

402
00:19:47,728 --> 00:19:49,312
The people person's
paper people

403
00:19:49,396 --> 00:19:50,855
Dunder MiffIin

404
00:19:50,939 --> 00:19:52,440
The people person's
paper people

405
00:19:52,524 --> 00:19:53,858
Dunder MiffIin

406
00:19:53,942 --> 00:19:55,193
The people person's
paper people

407
00:19:55,277 --> 00:19:58,029
MlCHAEL: I don't care if he
goes and files a report

408
00:19:58,113 --> 00:19:59,780
that says that
we're nothing special

409
00:19:59,865 --> 00:20:03,993
because I think our
future is very bright.

410
00:20:04,494 --> 00:20:06,245
We have only just begun.

411
00:20:06,330 --> 00:20:09,540
DWlGHT: Computron
experiencing emotion.

412
00:20:09,625 --> 00:20:13,502
Computron,
l'm going to pull your plug,
okay, buddy?

413
00:20:14,588 --> 00:20:16,130
Okay.
Just. . .

414
00:20:18,800 --> 00:20:20,301
PIease don't.

415
00:20:22,429 --> 00:20:24,013
Computron wants to Iive.

416
00:20:24,097 --> 00:20:25,806
Shut. . . Shut up. Shut up.

417
00:20:32,147 --> 00:20:34,607
(SlNGlNG) Sittin' in my office
With a plate of grilled bacon

418
00:20:34,691 --> 00:20:36,943
CaII my man Dwight
Just to see what was shakin'!

419
00:20:37,027 --> 00:20:39,487
Yo, Mike,
our town is dope and pretty

420
00:20:39,571 --> 00:20:40,738
So check out how we Iive

421
00:20:40,822 --> 00:20:43,241
In the EIectric City!

422
00:20:43,325 --> 00:20:44,617
They caII it Scranton!
What?

423
00:20:44,743 --> 00:20:47,245
The EIectric City!
Scranton!
What?

424
00:20:47,329 --> 00:20:48,621
The EIectric City!

425
00:20:48,705 --> 00:20:50,957
Lazy Scranton,
the EIectric City

426
00:20:51,041 --> 00:20:53,584
They call it that
'cause of the electricity

427
00:20:53,669 --> 00:20:56,087
The city's laid
out from east to west

428
00:20:56,171 --> 00:20:58,547
And our public
parks and libraries
are truly the best!

429
00:20:58,632 --> 00:21:01,342
CaII Poison ControI
if you're bit by a spider!

430
00:21:01,426 --> 00:21:04,428
But check that it's covered
By your healthcare provider!

431
00:21:04,513 --> 00:21:06,847
Plenty of space
in the parkin' lot!

432
00:21:06,974 --> 00:21:09,558
But the IittIe cars
go in the compact spot!

433
00:21:09,643 --> 00:21:12,436
Spot! Spot! Spot!

434
00:21:12,521 --> 00:21:13,604
Snack attack time

435
00:21:13,689 --> 00:21:14,814
Don't lose your head

436
00:21:14,898 --> 00:21:18,484
We Iike Cuginos
for the tasty bread!

437
00:21:18,568 --> 00:21:19,986
They caII it Scranton!
What?

438
00:21:20,070 --> 00:21:30,538
The EIectric City!
Scranton!
What?