1
00:00:14,556 --> 00:00:16,015
Stop it!
Stop what?

2
00:00:16,099 --> 00:00:18,058
You're talking
about me in Morse Code.

3
00:00:18,143 --> 00:00:20,561
But you know what?
Joke's on you
'cause l know Morse Code.

4
00:00:20,645 --> 00:00:21,645
Ha!

5
00:00:22,939 --> 00:00:24,523
Yeah, that's what
we're doing.

6
00:00:24,899 --> 00:00:27,484
ln our very limited
free time and with
our very limited budget,

7
00:00:27,569 --> 00:00:30,320
we went and got a nanny,
and then we went
out and took a class

8
00:00:30,405 --> 00:00:33,282
on a very outmoded
and very unnecessary
form of communication

9
00:00:33,366 --> 00:00:35,951
just so we can
talk about you
in front of you.

10
00:00:36,536 --> 00:00:38,829
Yep, that's exactly
what we did.

11
00:00:39,873 --> 00:00:43,542
lt all started when Dwight
was tapping his foot
against the leg of his desk.

12
00:00:43,877 --> 00:00:45,127
When l asked him
to stop, he said,

13
00:00:45,211 --> 00:00:48,380
"l will when you
lose the baby weight."

14
00:00:50,091 --> 00:00:54,094
Very well.
l must have imagined it.
l apologize.

15
00:01:07,192 --> 00:01:10,360
Detonator? Detonator. Where?

16
00:01:10,904 --> 00:01:12,154
Michael !

17
00:01:12,530 --> 00:01:15,491
Jim, are you
clicking a detonator?

18
00:01:16,201 --> 00:01:17,785
lt's a pen.
Michael, come on.

19
00:01:17,869 --> 00:01:20,204
Get back to work,
Dwight. Please.

20
00:01:22,499 --> 00:01:23,499
Fine.

21
00:01:24,751 --> 00:01:25,834
(CLEARS THROAT)

22
00:01:27,378 --> 00:01:29,713
Hey, tap away.

23
00:02:06,876 --> 00:02:07,876
Whoo!

24
00:02:08,002 --> 00:02:11,839
Things with Donna are so. . .
They're going great!

25
00:02:13,299 --> 00:02:17,302
l. . . We're just
clicking on every level.

26
00:02:18,012 --> 00:02:22,724
Emotionally,
and sexually,
and orally.

27
00:02:23,059 --> 00:02:27,938
And I am not used
to relationships
going this well.

28
00:02:28,022 --> 00:02:31,316
l'm actually having trouble
focusing on my job.

29
00:02:32,110 --> 00:02:34,736
And I Iike it

30
00:02:34,988 --> 00:02:37,739
Who enjoys the weekends?

31
00:02:38,867 --> 00:02:41,994
Of course.
Now the weekend
is always great

32
00:02:42,078 --> 00:02:46,206
if you have someone,
which l do. l have
Donna, she is hot.

33
00:02:46,416 --> 00:02:47,791
She has a Pilates butt.

34
00:02:47,876 --> 00:02:51,253
But we need to find
something to do this
weekend beside have sex.

35
00:02:52,088 --> 00:02:53,422
Did l say that?
Yes, l did.

36
00:02:53,506 --> 00:02:56,466
And the reason you are here
is that l need ideas

37
00:02:56,551 --> 00:02:59,303
for things that Donna and l
can do on the weekend.
So just shout it out.

38
00:02:59,429 --> 00:03:01,180
l have an idea
for your weekend.
Okay.

39
00:03:01,306 --> 00:03:03,515
Let me go back to
my desk right now.
Okay.

40
00:03:03,600 --> 00:03:05,767
You get out of here,
big dog.

41
00:03:05,852 --> 00:03:07,769
No, no, no, no,
you guys sit down.
l need ideas.

42
00:03:07,854 --> 00:03:08,854
Stanley got to go.

43
00:03:08,938 --> 00:03:10,272
Yeah, Well,
Stanley doesn't help
with anything.

44
00:03:10,356 --> 00:03:11,607
Come on, shout them out.
Shout them out.

45
00:03:11,691 --> 00:03:12,941
Walk around apple orchards.
Oh !

46
00:03:13,026 --> 00:03:14,276
Super romantic.
That's fun.

47
00:03:14,360 --> 00:03:15,485
Eel fishing.
All right.

48
00:03:15,570 --> 00:03:17,196
Curl up with
your favorite DVD.

49
00:03:17,280 --> 00:03:18,697
You and Donna
should hit the Poconos.

50
00:03:18,781 --> 00:03:21,533
They have
heart-shaped Jacuzzis,
room enough for three.

51
00:03:21,618 --> 00:03:23,744
We actually went
to the Poconos
last Tuesday.

52
00:03:23,828 --> 00:03:28,749
We headed up there,
we went to a little
Chinese bistro, P. F. Chang's.

53
00:03:29,042 --> 00:03:31,126
Why would you go
all the way to the Poconos
to P. F. Chang's

54
00:03:31,211 --> 00:03:32,961
when we have
the Great Wall in Scranton?

55
00:03:33,129 --> 00:03:34,546
Because when your
super-hot girlfriend

56
00:03:34,631 --> 00:03:36,006
says, "l want to
go to Mount Pocono,"

57
00:03:36,090 --> 00:03:38,842
you go to Mount Pocono,
and you do her.

58
00:03:38,968 --> 00:03:41,220
And we screwed.
Whoops! TMl !
(PEOPLE GROANlNG)

59
00:03:41,304 --> 00:03:43,555
Wait, that's crazy far.
Are you sure
she's not cheating?

60
00:03:43,640 --> 00:03:45,724
You know what, Kelly,
this is the real world.

61
00:03:45,808 --> 00:03:48,227
Not,
The Real World, Scranton.

62
00:03:48,311 --> 00:03:49,895
Oh, my God,
this is super weird.

63
00:03:49,979 --> 00:03:51,021
When Ryan had
two girlfriends,

64
00:03:51,105 --> 00:03:52,773
he used to take me to
some diner in Hazleton

65
00:03:52,857 --> 00:03:53,982
just so the other
girl wouldn't see.

66
00:03:54,067 --> 00:03:56,526
Some diner?
lt was the Starlight Diner.

67
00:03:56,611 --> 00:03:59,655
lt's in a Life
magazine spread
about Americana.

68
00:03:59,739 --> 00:04:01,406
You guys think
Donna's cheating on me?

69
00:04:01,658 --> 00:04:03,575
No. Michael, no.

70
00:04:03,660 --> 00:04:07,037
You had a nice meal
with your girlfriend
in a lovely place.

71
00:04:07,163 --> 00:04:08,747
And sex.
We had sex, too.
That is right.

72
00:04:08,831 --> 00:04:10,666
Don't make any more of it.
How?

73
00:04:10,792 --> 00:04:12,876
How what?
How do l not
make any more of it?

74
00:04:12,961 --> 00:04:14,753
You could start by
concluding this meeting.

75
00:04:14,837 --> 00:04:15,879
All right.

76
00:04:16,172 --> 00:04:19,091
Okay.
And she won't say,
"l love you."

77
00:04:19,175 --> 00:04:20,133
DWlGHT: Oh, no.

78
00:04:20,218 --> 00:04:21,510
How many dates
have you been on?

79
00:04:21,594 --> 00:04:24,221
Nine dates.
l said it
on the second date.

80
00:04:24,806 --> 00:04:28,350
That seems quick,
even for lesbians.

81
00:04:28,518 --> 00:04:30,602
RYAN: Does she keep
her phone locked
around you, Michael?

82
00:04:30,687 --> 00:04:32,980
Does she watch
how much she drinks
around you, Michael?

83
00:04:33,064 --> 00:04:34,940
Does she leave the room
when she takes phone calls?

84
00:04:35,024 --> 00:04:37,484
Does she keep perfume
in her purse?
Does she shower before sex?

85
00:04:37,568 --> 00:04:39,152
Does she shower
after sex? Does she. . .

86
00:04:39,487 --> 00:04:40,779
Yeah, she does all that.

87
00:04:40,863 --> 00:04:42,072
Sorry, dude.
Oh, no, no, no, no.

88
00:04:42,156 --> 00:04:44,032
Michael, do not let
your imagination run amok.

89
00:04:44,117 --> 00:04:45,367
Run what?
Amok.

90
00:04:45,451 --> 00:04:47,577
lt means don't let
your imagination
run out of control.

91
00:04:47,662 --> 00:04:49,329
Why didn't you
just say that, Pam?

92
00:04:49,414 --> 00:04:51,581
Michael, do not let
your imagination
run out of control.

93
00:04:51,666 --> 00:04:53,083
Well, that's easy
for you to say.

94
00:04:53,167 --> 00:04:55,043
You have
a bad imagination,
it's stupid.

95
00:04:55,128 --> 00:04:56,628
l live in a fantasy world.

96
00:04:56,713 --> 00:04:57,796
You do?

97
00:04:57,880 --> 00:04:59,631
Yes, Jim, l do.

98
00:04:59,716 --> 00:05:01,508
And l can't stay
in a relationship

99
00:05:01,592 --> 00:05:03,385
that is full of
lies and deceit.

100
00:05:03,469 --> 00:05:05,304
But you didn't believe
any of this was
true five minutes ago.

101
00:05:05,388 --> 00:05:07,472
That's what makes it so raw.

102
00:05:07,557 --> 00:05:09,891
Ever since l found out
that Donna might
be cheating on me,

103
00:05:09,976 --> 00:05:12,019
l have not eaten or slept.

104
00:05:13,396 --> 00:05:16,398
lt's the not knowing,
that's what's killing me.

105
00:05:18,568 --> 00:05:19,609
(WHlSPERlNG)

106
00:05:19,694 --> 00:05:22,070
Oh, God, that tickles.
What do you. . .

107
00:05:22,947 --> 00:05:25,198
(WHlSPERlNG)
l want someone
to follow Donna.

108
00:05:25,283 --> 00:05:26,616
l want her tailed.

109
00:05:27,744 --> 00:05:29,745
l need the name
of a good
private investigator.

110
00:05:30,079 --> 00:05:32,247
(WHlSPERS) l think
l've got one for you.

111
00:05:33,666 --> 00:05:35,417
This is you.
How much do you charge?

112
00:05:35,501 --> 00:05:37,044
$1 00 a day plus expenses.

113
00:05:37,128 --> 00:05:38,503
l'll give you 50.
Money's no object.

114
00:05:38,588 --> 00:05:39,629
Done.

115
00:05:39,714 --> 00:05:41,923
l'm just going to
warn you, and l say
this to all my clients,

116
00:05:42,008 --> 00:05:43,342
you might not
like what l find.

117
00:05:43,426 --> 00:05:44,468
Okay.

118
00:05:44,552 --> 00:05:46,970
And you might not
like how l find it.

119
00:05:50,767 --> 00:05:53,060
Of course.
Yeah, that's terrible.

120
00:05:53,144 --> 00:05:55,354
Okay, let me get back to you.

121
00:05:56,439 --> 00:05:59,691
Hey, Stanley, one of my
clients just called and said
that their Sabre printer

122
00:05:59,776 --> 00:06:02,069
started smoking
and caught on fire.

123
00:06:02,445 --> 00:06:06,490
My doctor told me
to cut out hotdogs.
We all got problems.

124
00:06:09,869 --> 00:06:12,829
Hey, Gabe, l need to talk
to you about something.
lt's really important.

125
00:06:12,914 --> 00:06:14,956
There's no way that
you guys have any
almond butter, right?

126
00:06:15,041 --> 00:06:17,209
Yeah, l don't know. Look,
one of my clients called.

127
00:06:17,293 --> 00:06:18,543
He was in the middle
of a big printing job

128
00:06:18,628 --> 00:06:20,545
and the back
of the printer
started smoking

129
00:06:20,630 --> 00:06:22,297
and then the paper
tray caught on fire.

130
00:06:22,507 --> 00:06:25,634
That's weird.
l haven't heard
of that happening.

131
00:06:25,802 --> 00:06:27,469
l would even settle
for apricot preserves.

132
00:06:27,804 --> 00:06:28,929
What are we going
to do about this?

133
00:06:29,013 --> 00:06:31,598
l don't know.
Call HQ, see if they
know anything.

134
00:06:32,308 --> 00:06:36,812
Yeah, that's what l'll
do today. All right.

135
00:06:36,896 --> 00:06:38,397
Let me know what they say.

136
00:06:40,650 --> 00:06:43,276
Wow, that dude is good.

137
00:06:43,361 --> 00:06:44,486
What do you mean?

138
00:06:44,737 --> 00:06:46,822
You didn't feel like
he was hiding something?

139
00:06:47,073 --> 00:06:48,115
l don't know.

140
00:06:48,199 --> 00:06:50,826
Like he was
covering something up?

141
00:06:51,494 --> 00:06:52,494
Maybe.

142
00:07:01,003 --> 00:07:02,003
(DOOR CLOSlNG)

143
00:07:02,547 --> 00:07:04,631
Two years ago,
Andy blamed the warehouse

144
00:07:04,715 --> 00:07:07,259
for a late shipment
that he forgot to process.

145
00:07:07,343 --> 00:07:10,303
We got yelled at pretty bad,
almost lost my job.

146
00:07:10,388 --> 00:07:12,764
Man, l was mad as
hell at the time.

147
00:07:12,849 --> 00:07:16,184
But l said, "Darryl,
just wait. He's a fool.

148
00:07:16,269 --> 00:07:19,771
"There's going to
be an opportunity.
Just be patient."

149
00:07:22,567 --> 00:07:23,775
Hey, stranger.

150
00:07:23,860 --> 00:07:25,944
Oh, hi.
You work for Michael.

151
00:07:26,028 --> 00:07:27,904
l work with Michael.
Right.

152
00:07:27,989 --> 00:07:29,823
Dwight Schrute.
Donna, hi.

153
00:07:29,991 --> 00:07:32,075
All cases are
solved with logic.

154
00:07:32,160 --> 00:07:35,620
The only logical way
to find out if Donna is
a cheater is to seduce her,

155
00:07:35,705 --> 00:07:39,875
bring her to orgasm,
then call Michael and
tell him the sad news.

156
00:07:41,335 --> 00:07:43,086
Wow. lt's a little
early for ice cream,
don't you think?

157
00:07:43,171 --> 00:07:45,630
lt's never too early
for ice cream, Jim.

158
00:07:45,715 --> 00:07:47,674
But we didn't
have any ice cream,

159
00:07:47,758 --> 00:07:49,468
so this is mayonnaise
and black olives.

160
00:07:49,552 --> 00:07:50,594
Oh !
Oh, my God.

161
00:07:50,678 --> 00:07:51,845
lt's comfort food,
all right?

162
00:07:52,430 --> 00:07:53,472
God !

163
00:07:53,556 --> 00:07:55,390
Michael,
this whole Donna thing
is going to be okay.

164
00:07:55,475 --> 00:07:56,850
You just. . .
Stop beating yourself up.

165
00:07:56,934 --> 00:07:58,602
l know. Well,
l hope you're right.

166
00:07:58,686 --> 00:07:59,686
We'll see what Dwight says.

167
00:07:59,770 --> 00:08:00,979
Why do we have to
see what Dwight says?

168
00:08:01,063 --> 00:08:02,814
Because l have him
investigating her.

169
00:08:02,899 --> 00:08:03,982
l'm waiting for
a text update.

170
00:08:04,066 --> 00:08:05,233
Michael,
no, no, no, no, no, no.

171
00:08:05,318 --> 00:08:06,443
No, no, no, no, no.
Undo that.

172
00:08:06,527 --> 00:08:08,695
Undo that.
lt's too late to undo it.

173
00:08:08,779 --> 00:08:11,615
l need to know,
otherwise this thing is
going to spiral out of amok.

174
00:08:11,699 --> 00:08:14,868
Michael, okay,
l'm going to
talk straight to you

175
00:08:14,952 --> 00:08:16,203
because l think
you need to hear it.
Michael. . .

176
00:08:16,287 --> 00:08:17,579
(GRUNTS) This
is so disgusting.

177
00:08:17,663 --> 00:08:20,457
Stop eating it.
Do you want to be happy?

178
00:08:20,541 --> 00:08:24,294
Look at you. You have
a major self-destructive
streak in you.

179
00:08:24,587 --> 00:08:26,171
l know.
And you. . .

180
00:08:26,255 --> 00:08:29,883
You kind of torpedo
every romantic
relationship you're in.

181
00:08:29,967 --> 00:08:31,134
That's not true.

182
00:08:34,388 --> 00:08:36,264
You're right.
l ruin everything.

183
00:08:37,225 --> 00:08:39,142
And l have known
some wonderful women.

184
00:08:39,393 --> 00:08:41,520
Holly, Carole, Jan.

185
00:08:41,604 --> 00:08:42,687
Helene.

186
00:08:42,772 --> 00:08:43,855
Helene?

187
00:08:43,940 --> 00:08:45,607
My mother.
Oh !

188
00:08:45,691 --> 00:08:46,691
My mother, Helene.

189
00:08:46,776 --> 00:08:48,360
Oh, yeah. Yes, yes, yes.

190
00:08:48,444 --> 00:08:51,446
All of the greatest
loves of my life.

191
00:08:51,864 --> 00:08:56,117
You should stop this.
You should call
Dwight right now.

192
00:08:57,954 --> 00:08:59,287
(SlGHlNG) All right.

193
00:09:05,253 --> 00:09:07,879
Oh, gosh, we're both
going for the same
weight at the same time.

194
00:09:07,964 --> 00:09:09,047
You go ahead.
Thank you.

195
00:09:09,131 --> 00:09:10,215
lt's all yours.
(LAUGHS)

196
00:09:21,394 --> 00:09:22,394
(GRUNTlNG)

197
00:09:26,983 --> 00:09:27,983
(SlGHlNG)

198
00:09:28,150 --> 00:09:29,109
You okay?

199
00:09:29,193 --> 00:09:30,443
Yeah, l'm good.

200
00:09:30,695 --> 00:09:33,488
Hey, you know an exercise
for two people that
uses the whole body?

201
00:09:34,240 --> 00:09:35,240
(CHUCKLlNG)

202
00:09:35,408 --> 00:09:37,367
Yeah, l think l know
what you're talking about.

203
00:09:37,451 --> 00:09:39,244
Tractor pull.

204
00:09:39,328 --> 00:09:41,413
Too bad there's
not a tractor here.

205
00:09:41,497 --> 00:09:42,831
(DWlGHT GROANlNG)

206
00:09:47,461 --> 00:09:48,837
(DWlGHT GRUNTlNG)

207
00:09:49,297 --> 00:09:50,672
One thing you need
to know about me,

208
00:09:50,756 --> 00:09:53,008
l don't quit until
something tears or pops.

209
00:09:53,092 --> 00:09:54,175
(CHUCKLlNG)

210
00:09:54,760 --> 00:09:57,053
You look like you're
getting a good workout.

211
00:09:57,179 --> 00:09:58,179
Can l feel your pulse?

212
00:09:58,264 --> 00:10:00,140
(SlGHlNG) Nope,
l'm good. Thanks.

213
00:10:00,224 --> 00:10:01,474
Really?

214
00:10:01,684 --> 00:10:02,934
Hey. All right.

215
00:10:03,019 --> 00:10:04,561
Young man, can you
wipe down that seat?

216
00:10:04,645 --> 00:10:05,937
Get out of my way.

217
00:10:06,063 --> 00:10:09,065
(LAUGHS) Tomorrow's
fertilizer, am l right?

218
00:10:09,275 --> 00:10:10,275
l'm out of here.

219
00:10:10,359 --> 00:10:11,735
Donna, Donna, wait. Please.

220
00:10:11,819 --> 00:10:13,486
l'm sorry, okay?

221
00:10:13,571 --> 00:10:16,698
Listen, we both know
why l'm here.

222
00:10:17,033 --> 00:10:20,201
To see you naked

223
00:10:20,494 --> 00:10:24,331
while l'm naked.

224
00:10:24,749 --> 00:10:27,208
You stay away from me
or l'm calling security.

225
00:10:28,336 --> 00:10:29,878
Donna, come. . .

226
00:10:29,962 --> 00:10:31,087
(GRUNTlNG)

227
00:10:32,882 --> 00:10:34,090
You're back. What happened?

228
00:10:34,258 --> 00:10:36,801
l pulled muscles
in both my thighs.
Thanks for asking.

229
00:10:36,886 --> 00:10:38,303
No. What happened with Donna?

230
00:10:38,387 --> 00:10:40,055
Yeah, no.
She's not cheating.

231
00:10:40,222 --> 00:10:43,433
Oh, man ! Will you help
me work out this knot?
Right here.

232
00:10:43,559 --> 00:10:45,477
Put your fingers here.
Ugh ! No, no.

233
00:10:45,561 --> 00:10:46,811
Are you sure?
l'm positive.

234
00:10:46,896 --> 00:10:49,981
Yeah, here's your expense
receipts. Right there.

235
00:10:50,066 --> 00:10:51,733
Who eats eight
protein bars?

236
00:10:52,693 --> 00:10:53,985
People who don't
trust egg whites.

237
00:10:54,070 --> 00:10:56,488
Okay. Well, l am just
glad this is all over.

238
00:10:56,572 --> 00:10:57,614
Oh ! Me, too.

239
00:10:57,698 --> 00:10:59,491
And by the way,
l told her not to,

240
00:10:59,575 --> 00:11:01,326
but she's coming over
here and she's furious.

241
00:11:01,577 --> 00:11:03,244
What? No,
she didn't say that.
You're right.

242
00:11:03,996 --> 00:11:05,664
l was paraphrasing.

243
00:11:06,082 --> 00:11:08,583
What she actually said was,
"What is with him?

244
00:11:08,668 --> 00:11:11,044
"He is crazy.
l'm coming over there
to talk to him."

245
00:11:11,337 --> 00:11:12,837
And this was after
l had no other recourse

246
00:11:12,922 --> 00:11:14,839
but to tell her
and gym security

247
00:11:14,924 --> 00:11:17,884
that you had sent me there
to see if she was cheating.

248
00:11:18,594 --> 00:11:22,472
Also, l joined the gym.
You'll be billed monthly.

249
00:11:25,393 --> 00:11:27,936
(WHlSPERlNG)
l am not paying
for that membership.

250
00:11:31,107 --> 00:11:32,482
(MlCHAEL MOANlNG)

251
00:11:35,277 --> 00:11:36,486
(MlCHAEL GRUNTlNG)

252
00:11:36,987 --> 00:11:39,572
Maybe you'd be
more comfortable
in your own office.

253
00:11:39,657 --> 00:11:41,908
No, l like the attention.

254
00:11:42,910 --> 00:11:43,910
(SlGHlNG)

255
00:11:44,286 --> 00:11:45,286
ls she here yet?

256
00:11:45,371 --> 00:11:46,413
No.

257
00:11:46,497 --> 00:11:47,539
(DOOR OPENlNG)

258
00:11:47,623 --> 00:11:49,040
Wait, yes.
That's her?

259
00:11:49,125 --> 00:11:50,625
Yeah.

260
00:11:51,752 --> 00:11:52,752
Mmm-hmm.

261
00:11:52,837 --> 00:11:57,006
Right. Right. Right.
Okay, l'll talk to you later.

262
00:12:01,137 --> 00:12:03,221
How could you think
l would cheat on you?

263
00:12:03,305 --> 00:12:05,724
l didn't, everybody
else here did.

264
00:12:05,808 --> 00:12:09,018
Everybody convinced me
that something was up.

265
00:12:09,103 --> 00:12:10,645
They poisoned my mind.

266
00:12:10,730 --> 00:12:11,855
That's pathetic.

267
00:12:11,939 --> 00:12:12,939
(EXHALlNG FORCEFULLY)

268
00:12:13,315 --> 00:12:15,734
Well, no, it's a lie.

269
00:12:16,402 --> 00:12:17,819
That's not what happened.

270
00:12:18,195 --> 00:12:21,114
l just like you.
l can't believe
l get to be with you.

271
00:12:22,074 --> 00:12:24,242
You work at
an adult arcade.

272
00:12:25,286 --> 00:12:26,661
You could have
any man you want.

273
00:12:27,663 --> 00:12:32,041
When l tell you l like you,
you need to trust me.

274
00:12:32,251 --> 00:12:33,710
Not some freak.

275
00:12:35,045 --> 00:12:36,713
lf you want to dump me,
l totally get it.

276
00:12:36,797 --> 00:12:38,339
l told you l like you.

277
00:12:39,633 --> 00:12:42,469
Well, you are bonerific.

278
00:12:42,553 --> 00:12:44,012
(CHUCKLES)

279
00:12:45,890 --> 00:12:50,018
Hey, if l said that we should
go away for a couple days,
you would. . .

280
00:12:50,352 --> 00:12:51,436
Poop my pants.

281
00:12:51,520 --> 00:12:53,313
Have you ever
been to Vero Beach?

282
00:12:53,397 --> 00:12:55,190
Oh, my God, Vero Beach?

283
00:12:55,274 --> 00:12:58,151
No. ls that on the water?

284
00:12:58,235 --> 00:12:59,235
We're going.

285
00:12:59,320 --> 00:13:00,445
We are?
Yeah.

286
00:13:00,529 --> 00:13:01,946
What's up?
l read your e-mail.

287
00:13:02,031 --> 00:13:03,698
Close the door.

288
00:13:04,200 --> 00:13:05,700
Okay.

289
00:13:05,785 --> 00:13:09,162
l don't have a plan exactly,
more of a loose structure.

290
00:13:09,997 --> 00:13:13,124
Gives me freedom
to improvise.
lt's like jazz.

291
00:13:13,626 --> 00:13:14,876
(SCATTlNG)

292
00:13:16,170 --> 00:13:18,129
♪ Andy don't mess with me ♪

293
00:13:19,965 --> 00:13:21,216
l'll figure something out.

294
00:13:21,759 --> 00:13:23,510
Some freaky stuff going on.

295
00:13:23,594 --> 00:13:25,804
l was walking by Gabe
and l heard some things.

296
00:13:26,180 --> 00:13:27,472
Such as?

297
00:13:27,556 --> 00:13:29,891
lt was kind of mumbled.
l don't know.

298
00:13:29,975 --> 00:13:34,312
The only thing l could
make out clearly was,
"Andy, problem, eliminate."

299
00:13:34,396 --> 00:13:35,480
Something. l don't
know what it meant.

300
00:13:35,564 --> 00:13:37,148
What? You don't
know what it meant?

301
00:13:37,233 --> 00:13:40,819
How about, "Andy is a problem
and we must eliminate him."

302
00:13:41,153 --> 00:13:43,321
Oh ! l hadn't even
thought of that.

303
00:13:43,405 --> 00:13:45,031
(LAUGHlNG) Yeah.

304
00:13:45,491 --> 00:13:46,574
(EXCLAlMlNG)

305
00:13:50,246 --> 00:13:51,913
Oh, hey,
l love your earrings.

306
00:13:51,997 --> 00:13:53,039
Thank you.

307
00:13:53,123 --> 00:13:54,749
Did Michael
get them for you?

308
00:13:54,834 --> 00:13:56,876
No, l bought them myself.

309
00:13:57,253 --> 00:13:58,461
Where?

310
00:13:58,629 --> 00:14:00,171
(STAMMERS)
Steamtown Mall.

311
00:14:00,256 --> 00:14:03,007
Claire's? Zales? Ricky's?
Earrings, Earrings, Earrings?

312
00:14:03,092 --> 00:14:04,592
Fancy Girl? Platinum Cat?

313
00:14:04,760 --> 00:14:05,760
Where?

314
00:14:05,845 --> 00:14:08,137
You know,
l actually got
them in Philadelphia.

315
00:14:08,222 --> 00:14:09,389
ln a mall down there.

316
00:14:09,473 --> 00:14:10,515
Franklin Mills?

317
00:14:10,599 --> 00:14:13,768
King of Prussia?
Springfield?
Governor's Place?

318
00:14:14,353 --> 00:14:15,770
Franklin Mills.

319
00:14:19,692 --> 00:14:20,900
What?
Hmm.

320
00:14:21,610 --> 00:14:22,610
Oh !

321
00:14:23,445 --> 00:14:25,071
lt's probably nothing.

322
00:14:25,155 --> 00:14:29,200
Okay, heart-shaped jewelry
is not something that
a woman buys for herself,

323
00:14:29,285 --> 00:14:32,036
a man definitely
bought it for her recently,

324
00:14:32,121 --> 00:14:34,038
and it wasn't Michael.

325
00:14:34,290 --> 00:14:36,875
Wait, so you like
heart-shaped jewelry,
though, right?

326
00:14:36,959 --> 00:14:38,334
No.

327
00:14:38,460 --> 00:14:40,837
Except for the pendant
that you bought me.

328
00:14:40,921 --> 00:14:42,463
Which l love.

329
00:14:45,050 --> 00:14:46,050
Psst!

330
00:14:53,809 --> 00:14:55,977
Creed's head
of Quality Assurance,

331
00:14:56,353 --> 00:14:58,271
so he'd definitely
be wrapped up in this.

332
00:14:58,647 --> 00:15:00,899
So there l am
minding my own business,

333
00:15:00,983 --> 00:15:03,234
and Darnell offers me
three bucks.

334
00:15:03,319 --> 00:15:06,237
All l've got to do
is walk by Andy
and go like this.

335
00:15:06,322 --> 00:15:09,198
Darnell's a chump.
l would've done
it for anything.

336
00:15:09,283 --> 00:15:11,200
l've done a lot
more for a lot less.

337
00:15:13,287 --> 00:15:17,290
PAM: So, it turns out Donna
and I have a Facebook friend
of a friend in common,

338
00:15:17,374 --> 00:15:20,627
so l was able to see
some of her pictures online.

339
00:15:21,837 --> 00:15:24,005
This was taken
two weeks ago.

340
00:15:25,007 --> 00:15:28,343
And this was
taken the same night.

341
00:15:30,179 --> 00:15:32,639
This photo was
taken this morning.

342
00:15:33,182 --> 00:15:34,557
lt's Cece.

343
00:15:34,642 --> 00:15:37,352
She's never going
to do anything wrong.

344
00:15:37,478 --> 00:15:40,396
lsn't that something?
Wow. That's exciting.

345
00:15:40,481 --> 00:15:42,231
Hey, Michael.
Hey.

346
00:15:42,358 --> 00:15:43,858
Sorry to interrupt you.

347
00:15:43,943 --> 00:15:46,277
l actually have something
very important to
talk to you about.

348
00:15:46,362 --> 00:15:47,528
Well, it can wait.
Business related.

349
00:15:47,613 --> 00:15:49,364
lt can wait.
l lied, it's personal.

350
00:15:49,448 --> 00:15:50,740
lt's about me
and Jim, we're. . .

351
00:15:50,824 --> 00:15:53,117
(STAMMERS) You're the only
person l can talk to.

352
00:15:53,202 --> 00:15:55,036
Jim is her husband.
Oh.

353
00:15:55,120 --> 00:15:56,746
PAM: And. . .
And they're
having problems. . .

354
00:15:56,830 --> 00:15:58,289
No, no, we're not. . .
. . .and so she comes to me.

355
00:15:58,374 --> 00:16:00,708
We're not having problems,
but it is personal.

356
00:16:00,793 --> 00:16:02,710
And l was. . .
ln bed.

357
00:16:02,795 --> 00:16:03,795
(CLlCKlNG TONGUE)

358
00:16:03,879 --> 00:16:07,632
Yes, yes, l desperately
want to speak with you

359
00:16:07,716 --> 00:16:09,300
about my sex life with Jim.
(MlCHAEL CLEARlNG THROAT)

360
00:16:09,385 --> 00:16:11,636
Oh, my God,
look at how cheap
street-level rooms are.

361
00:16:11,720 --> 00:16:14,389
Am l the only person
who enjoys people-watching?

362
00:16:14,473 --> 00:16:15,890
l need you to sign this!

363
00:16:16,517 --> 00:16:18,434
So bad !
Okay, weirdo.

364
00:16:19,228 --> 00:16:21,437
l love. . .
This idea is neat.

365
00:16:21,563 --> 00:16:22,522
l've never been.
Yeah.

366
00:16:22,606 --> 00:16:23,648
lt sounds lovely.

367
00:16:23,732 --> 00:16:25,858
Yeah, l think it'll be
a nice trip. We're going
to get a lot done.

368
00:16:25,943 --> 00:16:27,944
You're going to want to
look at the date on that.

369
00:16:28,988 --> 00:16:30,822
Oh ! Wow. Look at golfing.

370
00:16:30,906 --> 00:16:31,948
Are you a golfer?

371
00:16:32,032 --> 00:16:33,533
l am, but l gave
my clubs away.

372
00:16:33,617 --> 00:16:35,118
Swear too much.

373
00:16:35,202 --> 00:16:36,953
(BOTH LAUGHlNG)

374
00:16:39,248 --> 00:16:40,248
Hey, you okay?

375
00:16:40,332 --> 00:16:43,251
Yeah, l just remembered
that l have to go
to the bathroom.

376
00:16:43,335 --> 00:16:44,752
Pam?
Absolutely.

377
00:16:47,923 --> 00:16:50,967
Look, l'm not down anymore,
so if the guys
start making fun of you,

378
00:16:51,051 --> 00:16:52,927
you've just gotta
stand up for yourself.

379
00:16:53,262 --> 00:16:55,972
l know.
lt's just, l'm scared. . .
ANDY: l got your text.

380
00:16:56,056 --> 00:16:57,181
lt said, "91 1 ."

381
00:16:57,766 --> 00:16:59,017
Glen, could you
excuse us?

382
00:17:05,607 --> 00:17:07,025
lt's bad.
What's bad?

383
00:17:07,109 --> 00:17:08,067
lt's real bad.

384
00:17:08,152 --> 00:17:09,360
Still no plan.

385
00:17:09,611 --> 00:17:11,529
Oh, God.
lt's getting bigger.

386
00:17:11,613 --> 00:17:15,491
l might have to go public
here, but no one's going
to believe me. Uh. . .

387
00:17:15,576 --> 00:17:17,827
l need proof.
l need, like, a printer
to catch on fire.

388
00:17:17,911 --> 00:17:19,537
l can videotape it.
Yeah.

389
00:17:22,624 --> 00:17:23,708
There it is.

390
00:17:23,792 --> 00:17:24,917
There what is?

391
00:17:25,085 --> 00:17:26,210
What?

392
00:17:26,420 --> 00:17:29,213
Who the hell is this?
Who is this guy?

393
00:17:29,298 --> 00:17:30,757
l don't know who it is.
God !

394
00:17:30,841 --> 00:17:32,925
Lowest of the low, that guy.

395
00:17:33,010 --> 00:17:34,469
Just a notch above Toby.

396
00:17:34,553 --> 00:17:35,636
You know what?
What?

397
00:17:35,721 --> 00:17:38,890
l'm going to kill him.
No, l'm not. l feel. . . No.

398
00:17:38,974 --> 00:17:41,059
l'm not going to kill him.

399
00:17:41,143 --> 00:17:42,894
You just have to go in there.
You have to hear it from her.

400
00:17:43,020 --> 00:17:45,021
l have to hear it from her.
But you have to
settle down first.

401
00:17:45,147 --> 00:17:47,774
l need to have
her tell me herself.
Okay.

402
00:17:47,858 --> 00:17:48,858
Okay.
Right?

403
00:17:48,942 --> 00:17:49,942
Yes.
l need to have her say. . .

404
00:17:50,069 --> 00:17:51,652
l need to say,
"What the hell is that?
Calm down first.

405
00:17:51,737 --> 00:17:52,987
"What the hell is that?"
Hey, look at this.

406
00:17:53,072 --> 00:17:54,238
Look at this baby picture.

407
00:17:54,323 --> 00:17:55,740
(GRUNTlNG) Oh, God,
no. Oh, my God.

408
00:17:55,824 --> 00:17:56,866
Hi, Michael.

409
00:17:56,950 --> 00:17:58,743
Hi, Michael.
Okay.

410
00:17:58,827 --> 00:18:01,829
Okay.

411
00:18:02,331 --> 00:18:06,250
l talked to corporate.
Turns out there have been
1 2 reports of faulty printers.

412
00:18:06,335 --> 00:18:07,752
Out of 400,000.

413
00:18:08,504 --> 00:18:10,630
We've investigated.
Every time it's
been user error.

414
00:18:10,714 --> 00:18:12,673
They block the vents
or something, l don't know.

415
00:18:12,758 --> 00:18:14,342
That's why we have
the fine print.

416
00:18:14,718 --> 00:18:16,260
Thank you for bringing
this to our attention.

417
00:18:16,345 --> 00:18:17,845
So, l'd like to
reward you for that.

418
00:18:21,350 --> 00:18:24,685
That's good for five bucks
at Dunkin' Donuts.
Any Dunkin' Donuts.

419
00:18:25,687 --> 00:18:26,687
Oh.

420
00:18:37,324 --> 00:18:39,742
You know what?
We should really do
something fun this week.

421
00:18:39,952 --> 00:18:41,202
Yeah.
Wouldn't that be fun?

422
00:18:41,286 --> 00:18:42,453
Yeah.

423
00:18:42,538 --> 00:18:43,746
How about Thursday?

424
00:18:43,831 --> 00:18:44,997
Thursday works, yeah.

425
00:18:45,040 --> 00:18:47,416
What do you want to do?
l can't do it Thursday,
book club.

426
00:18:47,501 --> 00:18:48,876
How about Friday?

427
00:18:48,961 --> 00:18:50,586
Oh ! Friday doesn't work.

428
00:18:50,671 --> 00:18:54,090
Oh, really?
'Cause l was thinking
we could go to this concert.

429
00:18:54,174 --> 00:18:57,677
Spice Girls are opening
for Weird Al. Front row.

430
00:18:57,761 --> 00:18:59,387
Be a great, great concert.

431
00:18:59,471 --> 00:19:01,055
Shoot. l'm working.

432
00:19:01,181 --> 00:19:02,890
Oh ! Okay, well,
maybe l should stop by.

433
00:19:04,059 --> 00:19:05,476
Well, won't you
be at the concert?

434
00:19:05,561 --> 00:19:06,936
Nope, that's Tuesday.

435
00:19:07,062 --> 00:19:08,563
Well, l can make it
on Tuesday.

436
00:19:09,231 --> 00:19:10,857
You're cheating.

437
00:19:12,734 --> 00:19:14,152
You're cheating on me.

438
00:19:16,572 --> 00:19:18,447
(CLlCKlNG TONGUE)
How do you know?

439
00:19:19,241 --> 00:19:20,283
Pam told me.

440
00:19:22,411 --> 00:19:24,203
(GASPS) Did she see me?

441
00:19:24,746 --> 00:19:25,997
Nice effort.

442
00:19:26,248 --> 00:19:29,292
We're printing on
24-pound premium
stock paper,

443
00:19:29,376 --> 00:19:33,045
approximately 300 sheets in.
So far no signs of distress.

444
00:19:33,130 --> 00:19:35,089
You haven't even
introduced yourself.
Right.

445
00:19:35,174 --> 00:19:37,675
My name is
Andrew Baines Bernard
and if you're watching this,

446
00:19:37,759 --> 00:19:40,303
it's because I've
turned state's witness,
because I'm in danger,

447
00:19:40,387 --> 00:19:41,721
because I know too much.

448
00:19:41,889 --> 00:19:43,014
You should talk
in a higher voice

449
00:19:43,098 --> 00:19:44,682
'cause the camera
makes you sound weird.

450
00:19:44,766 --> 00:19:45,725
Higher, okay?

451
00:19:45,809 --> 00:19:48,269
Recently certain events
have come to my attention...

452
00:19:48,395 --> 00:19:49,353
Higher.
Make it higher?

453
00:19:49,438 --> 00:19:53,065
Okay. (lN HlGH PlTCHED TONE)
I have come to the concIusion
that the Sabre Corporation...

454
00:19:53,150 --> 00:19:54,192
One more, yeah.

455
00:19:54,276 --> 00:19:56,694
(lN SQUEAKY TONE)
...may be overlooking
certain safety regulations.

456
00:19:56,778 --> 00:19:58,571
At the danger...

457
00:20:00,824 --> 00:20:01,824
(lN NORMAL VOlCE)
It's smoking.

458
00:20:02,951 --> 00:20:04,452
l knew it!

459
00:20:05,037 --> 00:20:07,663
This. . .
We are blowing the roof off!

460
00:20:08,624 --> 00:20:10,541
Blowing the roof off!

461
00:20:11,752 --> 00:20:13,711
Nice, nice.

462
00:20:13,921 --> 00:20:16,505
This is my partner,
Darryl Philbin.

463
00:20:16,590 --> 00:20:19,050
He's been my partner
through this entire thing.

464
00:20:19,134 --> 00:20:21,427
l don't want to
prank anymore.

465
00:20:21,803 --> 00:20:24,138
Things get real.
lt's not funny.

466
00:20:24,640 --> 00:20:27,683
l'm just going to be good.
Stay in my room,

467
00:20:27,768 --> 00:20:30,978
go to church,
try to do one
nice thing per day.

468
00:20:31,480 --> 00:20:34,649
l do not want
to prank anymore.

469
00:20:36,068 --> 00:20:37,235
Who is he?

470
00:20:38,153 --> 00:20:39,695
Wait, what do you mean?
The other man.

471
00:20:39,780 --> 00:20:41,322
Who's the guy?
Who is it?

472
00:20:41,865 --> 00:20:44,283
lt's you. l'm married.

473
00:20:47,162 --> 00:20:48,913
l'm the mistress?

474
00:20:51,291 --> 00:20:53,417
Okay, everybody,
let's take this next hill !

475
00:20:53,502 --> 00:20:56,462
Excuse me. Yeah,
I'd appreciate it if
you'd just let me run this.

476
00:20:56,546 --> 00:20:58,589
You know what?
You had your chance,
you're no leader.

477
00:20:58,715 --> 00:21:00,675
Up, out of your seat!
Let's blast!
Don't Iisten to him.

478
00:21:00,759 --> 00:21:03,552
We're approaching
a cool-down,
down a gentle hill.

479
00:21:03,637 --> 00:21:06,305
No! The hill's a trap.
Let's take the dirt
road off to the side.

480
00:21:06,390 --> 00:21:08,224
No, guys, no.
We're just cooling down.

481
00:21:08,308 --> 00:21:10,226
lf they catch us,
they will rape us.

482
00:21:10,310 --> 00:21:14,272
Go for the cliff.
And three, two, one, jump!

483
00:21:14,439 --> 00:21:17,566
No! You're dead,
you're dead, you're dead.
Good jump.

484
00:21:17,818 --> 00:21:21,112
You're barely alive.
Okay, now, nice cool-down.

485
00:21:21,196 --> 00:21:22,196
Check your pulse rate.