1 00:00:03,462 --> 00:00:04,545 Hey, sport! 2 00:00:04,630 --> 00:00:06,506 I heard someone got engaged, you dog! 3 00:00:06,590 --> 00:00:07,715 Yeah. 4 00:00:08,342 --> 00:00:09,676 God! 5 00:00:09,760 --> 00:00:11,135 Nothing can hurt you now. 6 00:00:11,220 --> 00:00:12,845 You're a man in love! 7 00:00:17,017 --> 00:00:19,435 I was there, and that dude is not engaged. 8 00:00:19,520 --> 00:00:21,437 I'm not a big believer in therapy, 9 00:00:21,522 --> 00:00:23,940 but I would go into my own pocket to cover his copay. 10 00:00:24,191 --> 00:00:26,192 Big idea, double wedding! 11 00:00:26,276 --> 00:00:27,527 Me, Angela, you, Holly. 12 00:00:27,611 --> 00:00:28,986 No. We would never do that. 13 00:00:29,071 --> 00:00:30,697 And if we did, it would be with Jim and Pam. 14 00:00:30,781 --> 00:00:31,781 Yeah, we'd never do that. 15 00:00:31,865 --> 00:00:32,865 Yeah, so there you go. 16 00:00:32,950 --> 00:00:34,701 Michael, I got my bridesmaid's dress. 17 00:00:34,785 --> 00:00:35,910 Wow, so quickly. 18 00:00:35,994 --> 00:00:37,036 Yeah, and you said I could get it 19 00:00:37,121 --> 00:00:38,788 in any color I wanted, so I picked white. 20 00:00:38,872 --> 00:00:41,374 Michael, did you tell your mom yet? 21 00:00:41,917 --> 00:00:43,209 Nope. Nope, not yet. 22 00:00:43,293 --> 00:00:44,544 Why not? You wouldn't tell your mom? 23 00:00:44,628 --> 00:00:46,129 - You love your mom. - Yeah, I do. 24 00:00:46,213 --> 00:00:47,213 Call your mom, Michael. 25 00:00:47,297 --> 00:00:49,507 Yeah, I'll call her and tell her tomorrow. 26 00:00:49,633 --> 00:00:53,720 Call her! Call her! I don't wanna do it in public. 27 00:00:53,804 --> 00:00:55,888 All right, I will call her. 28 00:00:56,181 --> 00:00:57,640 She is going to freak out! 29 00:00:57,725 --> 00:00:58,725 Speakerphone! 30 00:00:58,809 --> 00:00:59,851 Not... 31 00:01:01,812 --> 00:01:03,062 Thanks. 32 00:01:03,147 --> 00:01:04,105 Hello? 33 00:01:04,189 --> 00:01:05,440 Mom, I'm getting married. 34 00:01:05,524 --> 00:01:06,524 No, you're not. 35 00:01:06,608 --> 00:01:08,359 Why do you always do that? 36 00:01:08,736 --> 00:01:12,697 Whenever I'm getting married, you don't believe me. 37 00:01:13,490 --> 00:01:15,491 Are you getting married? 38 00:01:15,826 --> 00:01:16,868 No. 39 00:01:19,121 --> 00:01:20,079 Are you... 40 00:01:20,164 --> 00:01:22,123 I'm not. I'm not getting married. 41 00:01:28,088 --> 00:01:29,255 Psych. 42 00:01:51,028 --> 00:01:53,446 So I've returned my bridesmaid dress 43 00:01:53,530 --> 00:01:56,699 and it was on sale, so I'm out a hundred dollars. 44 00:01:57,242 --> 00:01:59,035 And I'm out a fiancée. 45 00:01:59,578 --> 00:02:00,787 Are those the customer surveys? 46 00:02:00,871 --> 00:02:04,624 Yeah, this is all of them. Jim, Dwight, 47 00:02:05,125 --> 00:02:08,461 Phyllis, Stanley, Andy and... 48 00:02:10,130 --> 00:02:11,923 It's the receipt to my bridesmaid dress. 49 00:02:12,007 --> 00:02:13,007 What's that doing there? 50 00:02:13,091 --> 00:02:16,427 I'll take care of that for you. Thanks. 51 00:02:17,387 --> 00:02:22,475 Kelly Kapoor is our dusky, exotic, customer service rep. 52 00:02:23,143 --> 00:02:25,645 And once a year, she will contact our clients 53 00:02:25,729 --> 00:02:28,898 and find out how happy they are with our sales people. 54 00:02:28,982 --> 00:02:32,151 Sort of a "Kapoor's List." Schindler's List parody. 55 00:02:34,321 --> 00:02:36,405 That's not appropriate. No. 56 00:02:36,907 --> 00:02:39,075 Those reports affect our bonuses, 57 00:02:39,159 --> 00:02:40,868 which is kind of great for me, 58 00:02:40,953 --> 00:02:43,621 because you wouldn't know from looking at her, 59 00:02:43,705 --> 00:02:44,997 but Pam's a gold digger. 60 00:02:45,082 --> 00:02:48,000 - Hey, New York ain't free. - Get back to work. 61 00:02:50,087 --> 00:02:52,338 It's the world's tiniest Bluetooth. 62 00:02:52,422 --> 00:02:55,341 I found it in a Japanese gadget store in the Village. 63 00:02:55,425 --> 00:02:57,218 I got one for Jim, too. 64 00:02:57,302 --> 00:02:58,344 Jim, say something. 65 00:02:58,428 --> 00:03:00,054 Testing, testing, hello, everybody. 66 00:03:00,138 --> 00:03:01,556 We wanted to stay on the phone all day, 67 00:03:01,640 --> 00:03:04,725 but the company has a policy against eight-hour personal calls, 68 00:03:04,810 --> 00:03:06,727 so we're not telling anyone. 69 00:03:06,812 --> 00:03:08,855 Pam, what do you want on your coffee? 70 00:03:08,939 --> 00:03:11,357 - Sprinkle of cinnamon. - Sprinkle of cinnamon. 71 00:03:11,441 --> 00:03:12,567 I should go. 72 00:03:12,985 --> 00:03:15,361 All righty, Dwighty, let's see how you did. 73 00:03:15,445 --> 00:03:17,071 Bring it on. No. 74 00:03:17,155 --> 00:03:18,322 Sorry. 75 00:03:19,157 --> 00:03:20,157 Wow. 76 00:03:20,242 --> 00:03:21,284 What does it say? 77 00:03:23,453 --> 00:03:25,663 Dwight, your feedback is horrible. 78 00:03:25,747 --> 00:03:27,623 That's impossible. A number of your clients 79 00:03:27,708 --> 00:03:30,543 found your personal style abrasive and distasteful. 80 00:03:30,669 --> 00:03:32,712 I sell more paper than anyone. No, no, no, no. 81 00:03:32,796 --> 00:03:34,463 Wait, is this a joke? 82 00:03:34,548 --> 00:03:36,716 I'm getting that queasy feeling that sometimes accompanies jokes. 83 00:03:36,800 --> 00:03:38,134 Do I look like I am joking? 84 00:03:38,218 --> 00:03:40,511 No, but that's sometimes part of it. 85 00:03:40,596 --> 00:03:42,096 If I were joking, you'd be laughing. 86 00:03:42,180 --> 00:03:43,848 Do you look like you are laughing? 87 00:03:43,932 --> 00:03:46,183 Impossible to say, I can't see myself. 88 00:03:46,268 --> 00:03:47,310 You're not. 89 00:03:48,520 --> 00:03:50,146 Yo, Tommy Tuna. 90 00:03:50,439 --> 00:03:51,606 Did you get your scores yet? 91 00:03:51,690 --> 00:03:52,815 No. 92 00:03:53,317 --> 00:03:54,859 I gof mine, they were really good. 93 00:03:55,152 --> 00:03:56,193 I miss him. 94 00:03:56,486 --> 00:03:57,528 You must be really proud. 95 00:03:57,613 --> 00:03:59,405 Yeah, I'm pretty psyched. Whoa! 96 00:03:59,489 --> 00:04:00,990 That's my mug. 97 00:04:02,701 --> 00:04:04,118 Sorry, I was just... It was right here. 98 00:04:04,202 --> 00:04:05,244 Right. Well, 99 00:04:05,329 --> 00:04:08,539 it's mine, so if you could pour it out and get another one. 100 00:04:08,624 --> 00:04:10,958 Okay, or maybe I could finish the coffee that's in here, 101 00:04:11,043 --> 00:04:13,002 and you could use... 102 00:04:14,004 --> 00:04:15,338 Snoopy! He's funny. 103 00:04:15,422 --> 00:04:17,131 Don't give him Snoopy. That's mine! 104 00:04:18,800 --> 00:04:22,261 That is a great mug, but it's not my mug. 105 00:04:22,346 --> 00:04:25,598 That is my mug, so give it back. 106 00:04:26,475 --> 00:04:27,433 How can you even be sure? 107 00:04:27,517 --> 00:04:29,685 That's my face on it. 108 00:04:29,895 --> 00:04:31,395 Make the face. 109 00:04:32,189 --> 00:04:33,147 I don't see it. 110 00:04:33,231 --> 00:04:34,857 Dude, that is my face. 111 00:04:36,401 --> 00:04:37,526 What was that? 112 00:04:37,611 --> 00:04:39,570 Wow. That was Dwight. 113 00:04:39,863 --> 00:04:41,030 He seems upset about something. 114 00:04:41,198 --> 00:04:42,448 Describe him exactly. 115 00:04:42,532 --> 00:04:45,117 What color mustard is his shirt, yellow or Dijon? 116 00:04:45,202 --> 00:04:47,954 It is spicy brown, actually. 117 00:04:48,038 --> 00:04:49,288 What are you mumbling about? 118 00:04:49,373 --> 00:04:50,498 How was your meeting with Michael? 119 00:04:50,582 --> 00:04:51,666 None of your business. 120 00:04:51,750 --> 00:04:52,750 Was it your scores? 121 00:04:52,834 --> 00:04:55,044 These can't be my scores, Jim. 122 00:04:55,587 --> 00:04:58,589 For your information, I'm being sabotaged. 123 00:04:58,674 --> 00:04:59,674 Of course. 124 00:04:59,758 --> 00:05:01,801 And I'm gonna find that person and punish them. 125 00:05:01,885 --> 00:05:02,843 Absolutely. 126 00:05:02,928 --> 00:05:05,388 Or you could just be nice to your customers. 127 00:05:05,931 --> 00:05:06,931 You're an idiot. 128 00:05:07,015 --> 00:05:08,182 There's the charm. 129 00:05:08,266 --> 00:05:10,393 Jimbo, let's do this thing. 130 00:05:11,895 --> 00:05:12,853 That is me. Wish me luck. 131 00:05:12,938 --> 00:05:13,980 No way. 132 00:05:14,064 --> 00:05:15,272 Good luck. Thanks. 133 00:05:15,357 --> 00:05:16,774 I didn't say anything. I love you. 134 00:05:16,858 --> 00:05:17,817 I love you, too. 135 00:05:17,901 --> 00:05:20,361 What do you think I'm saying to you? 136 00:05:20,487 --> 00:05:22,405 I'm not talking to you. 137 00:05:22,823 --> 00:05:25,533 I caught Jim talking to himself several times today. 138 00:05:25,617 --> 00:05:26,909 What a loser. 139 00:05:28,120 --> 00:05:29,912 Get a friend, loser! 140 00:05:30,497 --> 00:05:34,166 Yeah, I'm looking at it right now, it's really gorgeous. 141 00:05:34,251 --> 00:05:35,626 You guys do great work. 142 00:05:35,919 --> 00:05:39,130 I found the best "tentist" on the East Coast. 143 00:05:39,381 --> 00:05:43,426 He personally tented Giuliani's first and third weddings. 144 00:05:44,302 --> 00:05:46,929 And I got him. I got him. 145 00:05:47,597 --> 00:05:51,517 Would you be able to do the same design, but with walls of gray? 146 00:05:51,601 --> 00:05:54,603 And a top that's gray, too? Fabulous. 147 00:05:55,564 --> 00:05:56,772 Come on. 148 00:05:56,857 --> 00:05:58,149 What? You, too? 149 00:05:58,233 --> 00:05:59,442 Did my scores drop a little? 150 00:05:59,526 --> 00:06:01,485 Jim, they are poopy. 151 00:06:05,282 --> 00:06:08,743 Jim? 152 00:06:10,120 --> 00:06:11,912 Are we even sure that's my file? 153 00:06:11,997 --> 00:06:13,080 No. 154 00:06:13,790 --> 00:06:16,876 Yes, I am sure, Jim, it... 155 00:06:16,960 --> 00:06:18,044 Well, there's gotta be an explanation. 156 00:06:18,128 --> 00:06:19,170 I agree. 157 00:06:19,254 --> 00:06:20,963 Yeah. So, let's see 158 00:06:21,048 --> 00:06:23,507 what we can find out from reading. 159 00:06:24,926 --> 00:06:27,428 Jim Halpert is smudge and arrogant. 160 00:06:27,554 --> 00:06:28,929 I think he means smug. 161 00:06:29,014 --> 00:06:30,056 Arrogance. 162 00:06:30,140 --> 00:06:31,140 Michael, I'm just trying to... 163 00:06:31,224 --> 00:06:33,893 And there is our smudgeness. 164 00:06:33,977 --> 00:06:35,811 I need a decent bonus 165 00:06:35,896 --> 00:06:39,065 because I'm actually in the process of buying my parents' house 166 00:06:39,483 --> 00:06:41,442 so that they can retire. 167 00:06:41,860 --> 00:06:44,904 And if history tells us anything, it's that you can't go wrong 168 00:06:44,988 --> 00:06:47,323 buying a house you can't afford. 169 00:06:47,657 --> 00:06:51,327 Pam doesn't know about the house, so it's a fun surprise. 170 00:06:53,789 --> 00:06:56,707 Pam, sorry about that. Lost you for a second. 171 00:06:56,917 --> 00:07:00,211 So, as it turns out, I may not have done so hot 172 00:07:00,295 --> 00:07:02,004 on my customer reviews this year. 173 00:07:02,297 --> 00:07:03,422 Maybe it's 'cause you spent the whole year 174 00:07:03,507 --> 00:07:05,049 flirting with the receptionist. 175 00:07:05,133 --> 00:07:07,176 Little bit. Worth it. 176 00:07:09,763 --> 00:07:12,848 Here's what's going to happen, I am going to have to fix you. 177 00:07:12,933 --> 00:07:16,977 Manage you two on a more personal scale, 178 00:07:17,521 --> 00:07:19,980 a more micro form of management. 179 00:07:20,065 --> 00:07:21,107 Jim, what is that called? 180 00:07:21,191 --> 00:07:23,067 Micro-gement. Boom. Yes. 181 00:07:23,151 --> 00:07:25,194 Now, Jim is going to be the client. 182 00:07:25,278 --> 00:07:27,446 Dwight, you're going to have to sell to him 183 00:07:27,531 --> 00:07:31,033 without being aggressive, hostile or difficult. 184 00:07:31,368 --> 00:07:32,326 Let's go. 185 00:07:32,410 --> 00:07:33,452 All right, fine. 186 00:07:34,329 --> 00:07:36,122 Ring, ring. 187 00:07:36,206 --> 00:07:37,248 Hello? 188 00:07:37,332 --> 00:07:40,000 Hello, this is Dwight Schrute from the Dunder Mifflin paper company. 189 00:07:40,085 --> 00:07:42,128 Well, that's great, 'cause I need paper. 190 00:07:42,212 --> 00:07:44,088 Excellent, then you are in luck, because we are having 191 00:07:44,172 --> 00:07:46,757 a limited-time offer only on everything. 192 00:07:46,842 --> 00:07:47,842 Wow, this is my lucky day. 193 00:07:47,926 --> 00:07:48,926 Ask him his name. 194 00:07:49,010 --> 00:07:50,177 What is your name, sir? 195 00:07:50,262 --> 00:07:52,054 I am Bill Buttlicker. 196 00:07:53,056 --> 00:07:54,807 Really? That's your real name? 197 00:07:54,891 --> 00:07:56,058 How dare you? 198 00:07:56,810 --> 00:07:59,019 My family built this country, by the way. 199 00:07:59,104 --> 00:08:00,980 Be respectful, Dwight. Please. Yes, Michael. 200 00:08:01,064 --> 00:08:02,523 Could you hold on one second? That's my other line. 201 00:08:02,607 --> 00:08:03,816 What? No, but I... I'm on hold. 202 00:08:03,900 --> 00:08:06,152 Hello? Yeah. 203 00:08:06,611 --> 00:08:10,656 No. I'm just on the phone with this stupid salesman. He's so dumb. 204 00:08:10,740 --> 00:08:12,616 Probably just going to keep him on the line forever 205 00:08:12,701 --> 00:08:14,994 and not buy anything. 206 00:08:15,078 --> 00:08:16,078 Okay. 207 00:08:16,163 --> 00:08:17,663 It's up to you to change his mind. 208 00:08:17,747 --> 00:08:20,166 Sorry, that was a family emergency. 209 00:08:20,250 --> 00:08:21,333 Oh, no, what's wrong? 210 00:08:21,418 --> 00:08:23,127 You know what? That's private. 211 00:08:23,211 --> 00:08:24,503 Boundaries, Dwight. Come on! 212 00:08:24,588 --> 00:08:26,005 I'm sorry, Mr. Buttlicker. 213 00:08:26,089 --> 00:08:27,173 As I was saying... 214 00:08:27,257 --> 00:08:29,175 Sorry, you just have to speak a little bit louder, 215 00:08:29,259 --> 00:08:30,843 I'm hard of hearing. He's hard of... He's an old man. 216 00:08:30,927 --> 00:08:32,845 Okay, as I was saying, right now... 217 00:08:32,929 --> 00:08:33,929 You're gonna have to talk louder. 218 00:08:34,014 --> 00:08:35,681 Okay, our prices have never been lower... 219 00:08:35,765 --> 00:08:36,849 Son, you have to talk louder. 220 00:08:36,933 --> 00:08:37,892 Never been lower! 221 00:08:37,976 --> 00:08:38,976 Louder, son! 222 00:08:39,060 --> 00:08:41,604 Buttlicker, our prices have never been lower! 223 00:08:41,688 --> 00:08:43,647 Stop it! Stop it! He... 224 00:08:44,566 --> 00:08:46,692 That is totally inappropriate. 225 00:08:46,776 --> 00:08:47,902 You never yell at the client. 226 00:08:47,986 --> 00:08:49,612 You never yell at the client. Now you listen to me, sir. 227 00:08:49,696 --> 00:08:50,696 Here we go. 228 00:08:50,780 --> 00:08:52,781 The three words I would describe you as 229 00:08:52,866 --> 00:08:55,868 is aggressive, hostile and definitely difficult. 230 00:08:55,952 --> 00:08:57,703 Please, Mr. Buttlicker... I'm irate right now. 231 00:08:57,787 --> 00:08:58,787 Give me the phone. 232 00:08:58,872 --> 00:09:00,039 Please give me another chance. 233 00:09:00,123 --> 00:09:02,374 Mr. Buttlicker, I have to put you on with my boss. 234 00:09:02,459 --> 00:09:03,876 Well, I should hope so. 235 00:09:03,960 --> 00:09:05,920 Who is this? Hello, this is Michael Scott, 236 00:09:06,004 --> 00:09:07,046 regional manager. 237 00:09:07,130 --> 00:09:09,131 Well, this is William M. Buttlicker. 238 00:09:09,216 --> 00:09:11,967 Hello, Mr. Buttlicker, how may we help you? 239 00:09:12,052 --> 00:09:13,552 Michael, I like the sound of your voice. 240 00:09:13,637 --> 00:09:14,637 You know what I'm going to do? 241 00:09:14,721 --> 00:09:18,349 I'm going to buy $1,000,000 worth of paper products today. 242 00:09:19,351 --> 00:09:20,351 See how it's done? 243 00:09:20,435 --> 00:09:21,727 Thank you very much, sir. 244 00:09:21,811 --> 00:09:23,604 I don't think you'll regret it. See what I did? 245 00:09:23,688 --> 00:09:24,688 You are the master. 246 00:09:24,773 --> 00:09:25,773 There is one condition, Michael. 247 00:09:25,815 --> 00:09:27,566 Yes. You have to fire the salesman 248 00:09:27,651 --> 00:09:28,692 that treated me so terribly. 249 00:09:28,777 --> 00:09:30,986 Don't do it, Michael. 250 00:09:31,321 --> 00:09:33,447 It's a million-dollar sale. 251 00:09:34,324 --> 00:09:38,827 So it's called the Shangri-la Tent. It's two stories, heated, 252 00:09:39,454 --> 00:09:42,998 and it has a bridal suite for my bridal sweet. 253 00:09:44,292 --> 00:09:47,086 It's just really simple, really tasteful. 254 00:09:47,254 --> 00:09:49,964 I don't want to be married in a tent like a hobo. 255 00:09:50,048 --> 00:09:51,840 Hobos live in trains. 256 00:09:52,467 --> 00:09:54,802 Nana Mimi can't be in canvas that long. 257 00:09:54,886 --> 00:09:58,472 Well, Nana Mimi... Okay, look. 258 00:09:59,683 --> 00:10:01,475 This tent is awesome, 259 00:10:02,143 --> 00:10:03,352 and it's in high demand, 260 00:10:03,436 --> 00:10:06,730 so I really think we should put a deposit down now. 261 00:10:08,024 --> 00:10:11,986 Okay, fine. You can have your tent, but only if it's in a field. 262 00:10:12,070 --> 00:10:13,570 A hand-plowed field. 263 00:10:13,655 --> 00:10:14,863 Done and done-er. 264 00:10:15,365 --> 00:10:19,159 There has to be a barn that's old enough that you can see the stars 265 00:10:19,244 --> 00:10:22,413 through the roof slats, when you lay on your back. 266 00:10:22,747 --> 00:10:25,874 And antique tools to look at when you roll over. 267 00:10:26,293 --> 00:10:28,460 Do you have a specific place in mind? 268 00:10:28,545 --> 00:10:29,586 No. 269 00:10:29,671 --> 00:10:32,506 But anything within a five-to-eight mile radius is acceptable. 270 00:10:32,882 --> 00:10:33,924 On it. 271 00:10:34,384 --> 00:10:38,137 Dwight. 272 00:10:39,973 --> 00:10:41,140 Get in. Are you serious? 273 00:10:41,224 --> 00:10:42,433 Get in. 274 00:10:49,566 --> 00:10:50,691 Okay, what are you... 275 00:10:54,279 --> 00:10:55,404 They might be listening to us. 276 00:10:55,488 --> 00:10:57,656 What's that? Who is "they"? They might be listening to us. 277 00:10:57,741 --> 00:10:59,950 Customer service might be monitoring this conversation! 278 00:11:00,035 --> 00:11:01,035 In this car? 279 00:11:01,119 --> 00:11:02,161 You never know. Better safe than sorry. 280 00:11:03,371 --> 00:11:05,456 What are you thinking here? 281 00:11:05,540 --> 00:11:07,291 Who stands to benefit from our downfall? 282 00:11:07,375 --> 00:11:08,625 The mob? 283 00:11:08,710 --> 00:11:09,668 Maybe NASA. 284 00:11:09,753 --> 00:11:10,919 Could be the mob. 285 00:11:11,629 --> 00:11:12,671 But then Dunder Mifflin would need to 286 00:11:12,756 --> 00:11:14,006 be a front for money laundering, 287 00:11:14,090 --> 00:11:15,382 and there's little evidence of that. 288 00:11:15,467 --> 00:11:16,550 Is there some evidence? 289 00:11:16,634 --> 00:11:18,010 Cute shoes online. 290 00:11:18,094 --> 00:11:19,511 How many shoes do you need? 291 00:11:19,596 --> 00:11:22,222 I don't know, two, maybe three, if one wears out. 292 00:11:22,307 --> 00:11:23,307 How many shoes do you need? 293 00:11:23,391 --> 00:11:24,641 I'm not talking to you. 294 00:11:24,726 --> 00:11:26,352 Who are you talking to? Pam. 295 00:11:26,436 --> 00:11:27,686 She's not here, Jim. 296 00:11:27,771 --> 00:11:28,979 No, she's not. 297 00:11:41,451 --> 00:11:42,534 Yes! 298 00:11:42,786 --> 00:11:45,829 I found it. I found the perfect place. A local bed and breakfast 299 00:11:45,914 --> 00:11:49,083 which is on a 60-acre beet farm, and even better, 300 00:11:49,709 --> 00:11:51,043 I have an in with the owner. 301 00:11:51,127 --> 00:11:53,003 Yeah, we work together. 302 00:11:53,755 --> 00:11:55,506 It's Dwight Schrute. 303 00:11:56,424 --> 00:11:58,175 As in Schrute Farms. 304 00:11:58,968 --> 00:12:00,219 So I'd like to redouble my order. 305 00:12:00,303 --> 00:12:01,887 If you could put me down for... 306 00:12:01,971 --> 00:12:03,555 Wait, shut up! I'm sorry? 307 00:12:04,766 --> 00:12:06,225 Do you hear that? 308 00:12:06,309 --> 00:12:07,309 Hear what? 309 00:12:08,645 --> 00:12:10,354 Breathing. Is that you? 310 00:12:10,438 --> 00:12:11,397 Well, I am breathing, yeah. 311 00:12:11,481 --> 00:12:14,066 Well, stop. Hold your breath. 312 00:12:14,150 --> 00:12:15,234 I still hear it. 313 00:12:15,318 --> 00:12:16,360 Who's there? 314 00:12:17,070 --> 00:12:18,821 Kelly, is that you? 315 00:12:21,241 --> 00:12:22,741 Hold on. 316 00:12:22,826 --> 00:12:23,992 I need paper. 317 00:12:25,829 --> 00:12:27,287 Oh, my God, you scared me! 318 00:12:27,372 --> 00:12:28,622 Hear anything interesting? 319 00:12:28,706 --> 00:12:30,249 What are you talking about? 320 00:12:30,333 --> 00:12:31,792 I think you know. 321 00:12:32,085 --> 00:12:34,586 You always say that, and I almost never know. 322 00:12:34,671 --> 00:12:36,255 What are you up to, girl? 323 00:12:36,339 --> 00:12:37,464 Did Phyllis put you up to this? 324 00:12:37,549 --> 00:12:38,757 Stanley? Are they paying you? 325 00:12:38,842 --> 00:12:40,175 Are you accusing me of something? 326 00:12:40,260 --> 00:12:41,844 Of course I am. I know you're the mastermind, 327 00:12:41,928 --> 00:12:44,513 but you're too stupid to do it by yourself. 328 00:12:44,597 --> 00:12:46,890 Easy. Let's just head back to the desk. 329 00:12:46,975 --> 00:12:49,351 You just can't come into my nook and call me stupid. 330 00:12:49,436 --> 00:12:51,603 And maybe if you were a little bit more nice and polite, 331 00:12:51,688 --> 00:12:53,939 then people wouldn't give you such bad customer reviews. 332 00:12:54,023 --> 00:12:57,484 The reason that I got bad customer reviews is because I didn't. 333 00:12:57,569 --> 00:13:01,155 There is a massive conspiracy going on here, and I know you're involved. 334 00:13:01,239 --> 00:13:02,781 Dwight, get out of my nook. 335 00:13:02,866 --> 00:13:04,116 That's what she said. That's what she said! 336 00:13:04,200 --> 00:13:05,993 That's what she said! 337 00:13:06,453 --> 00:13:07,536 Good one. 338 00:13:13,084 --> 00:13:16,378 Hey. Sorry about Dwight, by the way. 339 00:13:16,463 --> 00:13:17,588 Yeah, he's weird. 340 00:13:18,214 --> 00:13:20,716 Well, we all handle it differently. 341 00:13:21,217 --> 00:13:24,386 I personally choose to handle it like a normal person, but... 342 00:13:24,471 --> 00:13:25,471 Okay. 343 00:13:25,555 --> 00:13:26,972 Hey, how are you and Darryl? 344 00:13:27,599 --> 00:13:30,100 We're cool. Bye. 345 00:13:30,185 --> 00:13:31,393 Bye. 346 00:13:32,562 --> 00:13:34,396 That was weird. What was? 347 00:13:34,481 --> 00:13:36,106 Have you ever had a conversation with Kelly 348 00:13:36,191 --> 00:13:39,693 where she didn't go on for 15 minutes without taking a breath? 349 00:13:39,777 --> 00:13:41,737 No, actually. Did you do something to her? 350 00:13:42,405 --> 00:13:43,405 I don't think so. 351 00:13:43,490 --> 00:13:45,240 Well, something's off. 352 00:13:47,744 --> 00:13:49,286 Hey, how's things? 353 00:13:49,370 --> 00:13:50,454 All right. Yeah? 354 00:13:50,538 --> 00:13:51,497 Living in the moment. 355 00:13:51,581 --> 00:13:53,081 Do you have any reason to believe 356 00:13:53,166 --> 00:13:54,249 that Kelly would be mad at me? 357 00:13:54,334 --> 00:13:56,668 I don't play the politics game anymore, Jim. 358 00:13:56,753 --> 00:13:58,212 Can I tell you something? 359 00:13:58,296 --> 00:13:59,713 I played it full-on in New York. 360 00:13:59,797 --> 00:14:02,257 I played it high stakes, for keeps. 361 00:14:02,717 --> 00:14:05,552 Made it to the top, but look what it cost. 362 00:14:05,678 --> 00:14:07,179 Can I tell you what else I learned? 363 00:14:07,263 --> 00:14:08,722 Wait, that's pretty weird. 364 00:14:08,806 --> 00:14:09,806 What? 365 00:14:09,891 --> 00:14:11,725 Well, Andy has a mug just like that. 366 00:14:12,268 --> 00:14:14,520 Yeah. Kelly gave them out as party favors. 367 00:14:14,604 --> 00:14:16,271 Remember? You got one. No. 368 00:14:16,356 --> 00:14:18,398 What party? Her America's Got Talent finale party 369 00:14:18,483 --> 00:14:20,108 over the summer. 370 00:14:21,069 --> 00:14:23,070 That's crazy. It was packed. I thought everyone was there. 371 00:14:23,154 --> 00:14:24,488 You were there. I remember you being there. 372 00:14:24,572 --> 00:14:25,948 I wasn't, but thank you. 373 00:14:26,032 --> 00:14:27,574 Hey, do you know anything about this party? 374 00:14:27,659 --> 00:14:29,201 Yes. I said you definitely should go, 375 00:14:29,285 --> 00:14:30,869 but you wanted to visit me instead. 376 00:14:30,954 --> 00:14:33,539 I can't be the only one who didn't... 377 00:14:50,390 --> 00:14:52,432 Dwight, let me see your coffee cup. 378 00:14:52,517 --> 00:14:53,559 No. 379 00:14:54,060 --> 00:14:55,394 Is that it? No. 380 00:14:55,478 --> 00:14:56,687 Why? No. 381 00:14:58,731 --> 00:14:59,898 Okay, I'm going to assume that was it. 382 00:14:59,983 --> 00:15:02,317 Here's the thing. I think you're right. 383 00:15:02,402 --> 00:15:05,612 I think it was Kelly. I think she's mad at us for not coming to her party. 384 00:15:05,989 --> 00:15:07,906 Man, I knew it. Who are her co-conspirators? 385 00:15:07,991 --> 00:15:09,074 Probably just Kelly. 386 00:15:09,158 --> 00:15:11,159 Obviously. I knew it. 387 00:15:11,369 --> 00:15:12,369 That's what I'm saying. 388 00:15:12,453 --> 00:15:13,662 Yeah. What? 389 00:15:13,746 --> 00:15:14,746 You were right. 390 00:15:14,831 --> 00:15:15,956 I was right. 391 00:15:16,291 --> 00:15:17,416 You were right. I was right. 392 00:15:17,500 --> 00:15:18,542 You knew it. I knew it. 393 00:15:18,626 --> 00:15:19,626 You knew it the whole time, buddy. 394 00:15:19,711 --> 00:15:21,086 I knew it the whole time, buddy! 395 00:15:21,170 --> 00:15:22,546 - Wow! - Yeah! 396 00:15:23,006 --> 00:15:24,089 Right Dwight is loud. 397 00:15:24,173 --> 00:15:25,674 Yes! I knew it! 398 00:15:25,842 --> 00:15:26,967 Yeah! 399 00:15:29,012 --> 00:15:31,597 Boom! Kelly the whole time. Let's get her. 400 00:15:31,681 --> 00:15:33,015 No, no, no, no. Dwight, Dwight, Dwight. 401 00:15:33,099 --> 00:15:34,182 Let's just talk about this. 402 00:15:34,267 --> 00:15:35,309 Get out of the way. 403 00:15:35,393 --> 00:15:36,768 What's going on? 404 00:15:36,853 --> 00:15:38,145 Why don't you tell us? 405 00:15:38,479 --> 00:15:39,479 Nothing's going on. 406 00:15:39,564 --> 00:15:40,939 Let me paint you a picture 407 00:15:41,024 --> 00:15:43,275 of a little girl from southern India, 408 00:15:43,359 --> 00:15:45,444 who despite being welcomed into this country 409 00:15:45,528 --> 00:15:49,406 will now spend the rest of her life in prison for a crime she did commit. 410 00:15:49,490 --> 00:15:50,490 Dwight. 411 00:15:50,575 --> 00:15:53,118 I was informed by these gentlemen 412 00:15:53,202 --> 00:15:54,911 that the reports that you filed 413 00:15:54,996 --> 00:15:57,205 may not entirely be accurate. 414 00:15:57,415 --> 00:15:59,708 What? I don't know what you are talking about. 415 00:15:59,792 --> 00:16:01,001 This is the first that I'm hearing about this. 416 00:16:01,085 --> 00:16:02,127 Come on. 417 00:16:02,211 --> 00:16:03,962 You juked the stats, cupcake. 418 00:16:04,047 --> 00:16:05,088 We called about a dozen customers and 419 00:16:05,173 --> 00:16:06,965 they all said that they gave us great marks. 420 00:16:07,050 --> 00:16:08,675 What's going on? 421 00:16:11,554 --> 00:16:13,555 I love your tie, Michael. 422 00:16:15,808 --> 00:16:17,684 Kelly... I was raped. 423 00:16:18,061 --> 00:16:20,437 You cannot say "I was raped" 424 00:16:20,521 --> 00:16:22,564 and expect all your problems to go away, Kelly. 425 00:16:22,649 --> 00:16:25,067 Not again. Don't keep doing that. 426 00:16:25,151 --> 00:16:27,069 I'll give you one last chance to come clean. 427 00:16:27,153 --> 00:16:29,571 Just tell me what happened. 428 00:16:30,698 --> 00:16:33,659 Okay, all right. Okay, I did it. All right? I lied. 429 00:16:33,743 --> 00:16:34,868 Whatever, just fire me. 430 00:16:34,952 --> 00:16:36,161 But you know what? I did it because 431 00:16:36,245 --> 00:16:37,371 you guys didn't come to my party, 432 00:16:37,455 --> 00:16:38,538 and you said you would try to, 433 00:16:38,623 --> 00:16:39,873 and then you didn't even show up, 434 00:16:39,957 --> 00:16:41,750 and so you're bad friends. 435 00:16:41,834 --> 00:16:43,043 We have our confession. I'm calling security. 436 00:16:43,127 --> 00:16:44,503 Don't, don't. Get away from that, 437 00:16:44,587 --> 00:16:45,837 Dwight, please. 438 00:16:45,922 --> 00:16:47,339 You know what? She's got a point about you, too. 439 00:16:47,423 --> 00:16:49,800 You do have a problem dealing with people. 440 00:16:50,051 --> 00:16:51,009 See? I wasn't lying. 441 00:16:51,094 --> 00:16:52,469 You were lying. 442 00:16:52,553 --> 00:16:53,762 I was lying. Yes. 443 00:16:53,846 --> 00:16:55,514 Jim, Dwight, please excuse us. 444 00:16:55,598 --> 00:16:56,848 But I want to be here when you fire her ass. 445 00:16:56,933 --> 00:16:59,935 I will call you when it is time. 446 00:17:05,191 --> 00:17:10,404 I have an enormous amount of trouble 447 00:17:11,489 --> 00:17:14,282 trying to get people to come to my place. 448 00:17:14,909 --> 00:17:16,451 And I hate it. 449 00:17:16,953 --> 00:17:20,372 I can't tell you how much leftover guacamole 450 00:17:20,456 --> 00:17:23,083 I have ended up eating over the years. 451 00:17:24,127 --> 00:17:27,546 I don't even know why I make it in such great quantities. 452 00:17:27,630 --> 00:17:29,131 Here's what we're going to do. 453 00:17:29,215 --> 00:17:31,341 We are going to sit here for a while, 454 00:17:31,426 --> 00:17:33,343 make it look good. 455 00:17:33,428 --> 00:17:35,303 And maybe you should cry. 456 00:17:35,680 --> 00:17:36,722 Can you make yourself cry? 457 00:17:36,806 --> 00:17:37,764 No problem. 458 00:17:37,849 --> 00:17:39,975 I think you should do that. 459 00:17:55,658 --> 00:17:57,617 Pam Beesly? 460 00:17:57,702 --> 00:17:59,870 Hey. What are you doing here? 461 00:17:59,954 --> 00:18:00,996 Who's that? 462 00:18:01,080 --> 00:18:02,372 It's Alex. 463 00:18:02,457 --> 00:18:05,959 It's Pam. I came to kidnap you. 464 00:18:06,043 --> 00:18:09,171 There's free wine and cheese at the Chuck Close retrospective. Let's go. 465 00:18:09,255 --> 00:18:11,715 That's going to be great. Who's Chuck Close? 466 00:18:11,966 --> 00:18:15,010 I love Chuck Close and his photorealist paintings. 467 00:18:15,094 --> 00:18:16,344 But I have to work. 468 00:18:18,931 --> 00:18:20,098 Well, actually, there's something else 469 00:18:20,183 --> 00:18:22,601 I'd love to talk to you about. 470 00:18:22,685 --> 00:18:25,520 Can we go somewhere else to talk about it? 471 00:18:26,606 --> 00:18:27,689 Okay. 472 00:18:27,899 --> 00:18:29,316 That's it. I want to talk to this guy. 473 00:18:29,400 --> 00:18:30,650 Put me in his ear. 474 00:18:31,152 --> 00:18:32,694 What's up? 475 00:18:32,779 --> 00:18:34,362 I want to take a big leap. 476 00:18:34,822 --> 00:18:36,948 And I want to tell you that I think that you should not 477 00:18:37,033 --> 00:18:39,117 move back to Scranton. 478 00:18:39,202 --> 00:18:40,243 Wow. 479 00:18:40,578 --> 00:18:42,120 I want to make a bigger leap here. 480 00:18:42,205 --> 00:18:43,622 He is into you. 481 00:18:43,706 --> 00:18:46,166 Why did you come to New York in the first place? 482 00:18:46,250 --> 00:18:47,876 Because they have a great design program, 483 00:18:47,960 --> 00:18:50,462 and I wanted to see if I was any good at it. 484 00:18:50,546 --> 00:18:52,464 And I wanted to work on my art, too. 485 00:18:52,548 --> 00:18:53,548 Right. 486 00:18:53,633 --> 00:18:55,509 And that's why I think you should stay here. 487 00:18:55,593 --> 00:18:58,094 Because, I mean, you really just got here, 488 00:18:58,179 --> 00:19:01,097 you know, and you can't do New York in three months. 489 00:19:01,182 --> 00:19:04,726 You know, it has everything. All the opportunity is here, 490 00:19:05,019 --> 00:19:07,312 all the... The whole art scene is in New York. 491 00:19:07,730 --> 00:19:09,189 You know, it would be nuts to go back to Scranton 492 00:19:09,273 --> 00:19:11,733 without getting to fully experience it. 493 00:19:12,318 --> 00:19:13,819 Jim's in Scranton. 494 00:19:13,903 --> 00:19:14,945 I know, but... 495 00:19:15,571 --> 00:19:19,032 All I'm saying is, if there's even a teeny, tiny part of you 496 00:19:19,116 --> 00:19:21,284 that really wants to be an artist, 497 00:19:21,369 --> 00:19:23,995 then I think you should stay here, because you don't want 498 00:19:24,080 --> 00:19:26,289 to wake up in 50 years 499 00:19:26,374 --> 00:19:29,292 and look back and wonder what could have been. 500 00:19:31,003 --> 00:19:33,004 And that is the end of my speech. 501 00:19:33,089 --> 00:19:35,465 I planned it all. Anyway... 502 00:19:36,092 --> 00:19:37,050 I will see you tomorrow. 503 00:19:37,134 --> 00:19:39,261 I'll see you tomorrow. 504 00:19:51,148 --> 00:19:53,316 Is that the Matsahashi B-400? 505 00:19:53,401 --> 00:19:55,026 The world's tiniest Bluetooth. 506 00:19:57,405 --> 00:19:58,905 May I? Don't. 507 00:20:01,742 --> 00:20:04,202 Congratulations on choosing Schrute Farms for your wedding. 508 00:20:04,287 --> 00:20:06,955 No, we haven't decided on anything yet. 509 00:20:07,039 --> 00:20:09,583 We're still reviewing some options 510 00:20:09,667 --> 00:20:11,209 and it's going to come down to the numbers. 511 00:20:11,294 --> 00:20:14,921 Well, then, why don't you look over some of our materials, 512 00:20:16,632 --> 00:20:19,634 while I describe to you the Excalibur package. 513 00:20:19,719 --> 00:20:21,720 In addition to the breathtaking natural beauty 514 00:20:21,804 --> 00:20:23,847 and smell of Schrute Farms, 515 00:20:23,931 --> 00:20:26,141 I can promise you that our grounds can be catered 516 00:20:26,225 --> 00:20:28,935 to fit your exact specifications. 517 00:20:29,061 --> 00:20:32,898 I will work tirelessly for you over the coming months 518 00:20:33,524 --> 00:20:35,567 and be at your constant disposal. 519 00:20:35,651 --> 00:20:40,155 Please feel free to call or stop by any time of the day or night. 520 00:20:41,324 --> 00:20:42,324 That's very generous. 521 00:20:42,408 --> 00:20:43,700 Well, you, my good friend, 522 00:20:43,784 --> 00:20:44,868 have nothing more to worry about. 523 00:20:44,952 --> 00:20:47,287 This wedding is officially out of your hands. 524 00:20:47,371 --> 00:20:49,581 Thank the good Lord. Deal! 525 00:20:49,665 --> 00:20:50,749 Okay. 526 00:20:51,751 --> 00:20:52,834 What are we talking pricewise? 527 00:20:52,960 --> 00:20:54,294 You already said, "Deal." 528 00:20:54,378 --> 00:20:55,921 Pay him whatever he wants. 529 00:20:56,005 --> 00:20:57,672 Can't argue with that. 530 00:20:59,342 --> 00:21:00,508 Dwight, 531 00:21:03,846 --> 00:21:06,306 you are going to make us so happy.