1 00:00:01,877 --> 00:00:03,378 Yeah, that's no problem. Pam. 2 00:00:03,504 --> 00:00:06,005 Sure. Pam, knock knock. 3 00:00:06,090 --> 00:00:07,882 I'm on the phone. I know you are. Knock knock. 4 00:00:07,966 --> 00:00:09,926 You can fax it over. 5 00:00:10,010 --> 00:00:14,097 Yeah, 5-7-0-5-5-5... 4-9-1... 6 00:00:14,181 --> 00:00:15,848 0-1... ...7-4... 7 00:00:15,933 --> 00:00:17,600 7-5. Five-ling. 8 00:00:17,768 --> 00:00:20,853 0-1 -7-5. Thank you. Bye-bye. 9 00:00:22,773 --> 00:00:24,023 That really makes us look unprofessional. 10 00:00:24,108 --> 00:00:25,441 They would never know it was me doing it. 11 00:00:25,526 --> 00:00:26,693 Here we go. Knock knock. 12 00:00:28,278 --> 00:00:29,529 Who's there? 13 00:00:29,613 --> 00:00:30,613 Buddha. 14 00:00:30,739 --> 00:00:33,032 Buddha who? Buddha this bread for me, won't you? 15 00:00:36,245 --> 00:00:38,996 Great. I need something to wipe my hand. 16 00:00:39,123 --> 00:00:41,332 Now, there's butter on my desk. That was melting. 17 00:00:41,417 --> 00:00:43,376 It was a classic. I got a knock knock joke. 18 00:00:43,460 --> 00:00:44,419 No. God. 19 00:00:44,503 --> 00:00:46,129 Michael, please, please, please. 20 00:00:46,797 --> 00:00:47,880 Please let me. All right. 21 00:00:47,965 --> 00:00:50,299 Knock knock. Who's there? 22 00:00:50,384 --> 00:00:51,759 KGB. KG... 23 00:00:51,844 --> 00:00:54,554 We will ask the questions. What the hell was that? 24 00:00:54,638 --> 00:00:56,180 - What are you doing? - What are you doing? 25 00:00:56,265 --> 00:00:59,100 Hey, hey! Stop it! Stop it! Hey! Come on! You like that? You like that? 26 00:00:59,184 --> 00:01:00,893 What are you doing? Mine was part of a hilarious joke! 27 00:01:00,978 --> 00:01:02,687 Mine was retribution. What are you doing? 28 00:01:02,771 --> 00:01:04,272 No more knock knock jokes. 29 00:01:04,398 --> 00:01:06,524 That's it. Ding dong. 30 00:01:06,608 --> 00:01:08,276 Who's there? KGB. 31 00:01:09,194 --> 00:01:10,445 Dwight, get the door. I'm not answering it. 32 00:01:10,571 --> 00:01:11,571 Answer the door. Ding dong. 33 00:01:11,655 --> 00:01:13,322 - No way. It's the KGB. - Ding dong. 34 00:01:13,407 --> 00:01:14,532 I'm not answering that. Yes, you're going to. 35 00:01:14,616 --> 00:01:15,783 You answer it! I'm not going to answer it. 36 00:01:15,868 --> 00:01:17,452 Ding dong. I'm not going to answer it. It's the KGB. 37 00:01:17,536 --> 00:01:19,370 The KGB will wait for no one! 38 00:01:23,000 --> 00:01:24,333 It's true. 39 00:01:49,985 --> 00:01:51,194 Good morning, Michael. 40 00:01:51,278 --> 00:01:53,196 No, no, no. 41 00:01:53,280 --> 00:01:57,909 I am not Michael. I am Willy Wonka! 42 00:01:59,328 --> 00:02:01,204 Good morning, Mr. Wonka. Here are your messages. 43 00:02:01,288 --> 00:02:02,580 Why, thank you very much. 44 00:02:02,664 --> 00:02:04,874 What are those? What are those? Tell me, please. 45 00:02:05,000 --> 00:02:06,626 Jellybeans. No, no, no. 46 00:02:06,710 --> 00:02:09,420 They are not just ordinary jellybeans, little girl. 47 00:02:09,505 --> 00:02:14,383 These are extraordinary jellybeans. 48 00:02:14,676 --> 00:02:17,720 The Willy Wonka golden-ticket promotional idea 49 00:02:17,805 --> 00:02:20,890 is probably the best idea I have ever had. 50 00:02:20,974 --> 00:02:23,017 It's probably the best idea anybody's ever had. 51 00:02:23,393 --> 00:02:24,519 Three days ago, 52 00:02:24,603 --> 00:02:28,689 I slipped five pieces of gold paper into random paper shipments. 53 00:02:28,774 --> 00:02:32,568 This entitles the customer to 10% off of their total order. 54 00:02:32,653 --> 00:02:38,199 It will be a day for them that is full of whimsy and full of excitement. 55 00:02:38,951 --> 00:02:40,743 And full of fantasy. 56 00:02:42,079 --> 00:02:43,287 I've written these things 57 00:02:43,372 --> 00:02:46,999 because it is my responsibility as manager of this branch 58 00:02:47,084 --> 00:02:49,710 to profiligate great ideas. 59 00:02:49,795 --> 00:02:53,506 And I think I have done my part with the golden-ticket promotion. 60 00:02:53,590 --> 00:02:55,049 Now it is your turn. 61 00:02:55,133 --> 00:02:59,470 I want to hear some great ideas from you that are just as good as mine. 62 00:03:01,265 --> 00:03:02,974 We own our own delivery trucks. 63 00:03:03,100 --> 00:03:05,059 We could lease them out on the weekends... Too many words. 64 00:03:05,143 --> 00:03:08,145 Good ideas are simple, golden ticket. 65 00:03:08,230 --> 00:03:10,439 Free paper. No, Jim. 66 00:03:10,524 --> 00:03:14,235 We're a business. Post-its, that is a golden-ticket idea. 67 00:03:14,319 --> 00:03:18,573 NASA took five or six golden-ticket ideas to get men on the moon. 68 00:03:18,657 --> 00:03:23,035 Golden Girls. That's a golden-ticket idea. Right? 69 00:03:23,120 --> 00:03:24,620 I mean, how great was that show? 70 00:03:24,705 --> 00:03:27,707 Golden Grahams. Another. It's a... 71 00:03:29,459 --> 00:03:30,459 I don't get this. 72 00:03:30,544 --> 00:03:32,128 No, you don't. No. It... 73 00:03:33,714 --> 00:03:37,550 What will be the state of this company 74 00:03:37,634 --> 00:03:41,554 if I am the only one coming up with the great ideas, right? 75 00:03:41,805 --> 00:03:43,848 I think I should call her. 76 00:03:44,850 --> 00:03:47,685 No. No. No. 77 00:03:48,520 --> 00:03:52,231 Why is it so bad for me to call and ask her to lunch today? 78 00:03:52,566 --> 00:03:55,776 You're making it too easy for her. 79 00:03:55,861 --> 00:03:59,697 You're just conveying, "I like you just the way you are." 80 00:03:59,781 --> 00:04:01,741 But I do like her just the way she is. 81 00:04:01,825 --> 00:04:03,826 Well, that's not what we agreed on. 82 00:04:03,994 --> 00:04:05,077 What are you doing? 83 00:04:05,162 --> 00:04:06,954 Why don't you just go on a date with her? 84 00:04:07,039 --> 00:04:09,957 Try to spark up an ongoing joke and then, in a month or two, 85 00:04:10,083 --> 00:04:11,709 if it feels right, you'll know. No. 86 00:04:11,793 --> 00:04:13,419 You don't have to wait that long. 87 00:04:13,503 --> 00:04:17,214 I mean, you don't have to wait a month to ask her out. Just ask her out. 88 00:04:17,299 --> 00:04:19,592 You're asking him to give up all of his power. 89 00:04:19,676 --> 00:04:20,718 What power? 90 00:04:20,802 --> 00:04:25,222 Andy, Pam and Jim are all telling me 91 00:04:25,307 --> 00:04:28,059 how to deal with this girl that I like, Lynn. 92 00:04:28,518 --> 00:04:32,521 I don't like getting advice from more than one person at a time. 93 00:04:32,606 --> 00:04:34,815 I'm a textbook over-thinker. 94 00:04:35,359 --> 00:04:39,695 You can't let a girl feel good about herself. It will backfire on you. 95 00:04:39,780 --> 00:04:41,572 Every compliment has to be backhanded. 96 00:04:41,657 --> 00:04:44,867 "I like your dress, but I'd like it more if you had prettier hair." 97 00:04:44,952 --> 00:04:46,786 That's psychotic. 98 00:04:46,870 --> 00:04:48,120 Do guys actually do that? 99 00:04:48,205 --> 00:04:50,414 Guys with girlfriends don't. 100 00:04:50,499 --> 00:04:51,666 That's low, Tuna. 101 00:04:52,250 --> 00:04:54,293 Hey, Tom. What's that? 102 00:04:54,378 --> 00:04:55,836 Oh, you found a golden ticket. 103 00:04:55,921 --> 00:04:57,463 One of my clients found a golden ticket. 104 00:04:58,674 --> 00:04:59,674 Yeah. 105 00:05:00,008 --> 00:05:03,052 No, congratulations about that. 106 00:05:05,097 --> 00:05:06,430 Yeah, I'll take that down right now. Tell me, 107 00:05:06,515 --> 00:05:08,933 was it a spoiled little girl 108 00:05:09,017 --> 00:05:10,226 with big lips? I'm on the phone. 109 00:05:10,310 --> 00:05:13,270 Or an odd little boy with a cowboy obsession? 110 00:05:13,355 --> 00:05:14,772 Hold on one sec. Invite them on the tour. 111 00:05:14,856 --> 00:05:15,982 Hold on one sec. 112 00:05:16,066 --> 00:05:19,068 It's actually Blue Cross from Pennsylvania. Really? 113 00:05:19,194 --> 00:05:21,153 Yeah. That's kind of a big client. 114 00:05:21,238 --> 00:05:22,989 Hey, Oscar. 115 00:05:26,243 --> 00:05:29,662 How much of a hit is 10% of our Blue Cross account? 116 00:05:29,746 --> 00:05:30,746 10%? Yeah. 117 00:05:30,831 --> 00:05:32,164 They're our largest client. Yeah. 118 00:05:32,249 --> 00:05:34,125 - That's going to hurt. - Hold on one sec. 119 00:05:34,209 --> 00:05:36,002 Hold on one sec, Tom. What's that? 120 00:05:36,086 --> 00:05:38,379 You found five golden tickets? 121 00:05:39,923 --> 00:05:41,882 And does it say limit one per customer? 122 00:05:43,093 --> 00:05:44,719 Nope. It doesn't. 123 00:05:46,430 --> 00:05:48,848 How do you not spread out the tickets into different shipments? 124 00:05:48,932 --> 00:05:50,558 I thought I did, 125 00:05:50,600 --> 00:05:52,893 so no harm, no foul. Okay, well I'm going to go call corporate 126 00:05:52,978 --> 00:05:55,354 to make sure that they know I didn't lose half my sales. 127 00:05:55,439 --> 00:05:59,191 You didn't. It'll be fine. 128 00:05:59,276 --> 00:06:00,776 It'll be good. 129 00:06:02,070 --> 00:06:07,074 Hey, hey, hey. You idiot. 130 00:06:07,159 --> 00:06:08,367 Start over. 131 00:06:08,452 --> 00:06:13,539 Sir, I placed a bunch of golden tickets into five separate boxes 132 00:06:13,957 --> 00:06:16,500 and somehow they all ended up at Blue Cross. 133 00:06:16,585 --> 00:06:17,752 How does this happen? 134 00:06:17,836 --> 00:06:19,128 Were the boxes near each other? 135 00:06:19,212 --> 00:06:20,212 Irrelevant. 136 00:06:20,297 --> 00:06:23,466 I put three pallets on the truck to Blue Cross once a week. 137 00:06:23,550 --> 00:06:25,384 They use a lot of paper. 138 00:06:25,469 --> 00:06:28,888 Okay, I'm going to ask you something, and I want you to be honest. 139 00:06:28,972 --> 00:06:30,639 What is a pallet? 140 00:06:31,767 --> 00:06:35,061 My golden-ticket idea, okay. 141 00:06:35,145 --> 00:06:38,731 Why would anyone think that this is my golden-ticket idea? 142 00:06:38,815 --> 00:06:43,778 There's a one in 13 chance that this could be anybody's golden-ticket idea. 143 00:06:43,862 --> 00:06:45,071 That... 144 00:06:46,490 --> 00:06:48,616 Dunder Mifflin, this is Pam. 145 00:06:49,201 --> 00:06:50,826 Hi, David. 146 00:06:51,369 --> 00:06:55,581 No, I'm sorry. He's not back from the civil rights rally. 147 00:06:56,833 --> 00:07:00,127 I'll have him call you the minute he gets back from the Lincoln Memorial. 148 00:07:00,212 --> 00:07:04,757 When Michael's skirting a phone call, he gave me a list of places to say he is. 149 00:07:04,841 --> 00:07:06,592 "Stopping a fight in the parking lot. 150 00:07:06,676 --> 00:07:10,179 "An Obama fashion show." Whatever that is. 151 00:07:10,972 --> 00:07:14,767 Or "Trapped in an oil painting." I'm going to save that one. 152 00:07:17,979 --> 00:07:21,398 Nobody panic. The good news is 153 00:07:21,525 --> 00:07:23,692 they can't fire all of us, right? They can. 154 00:07:23,777 --> 00:07:25,194 No, they can't. Yes, they can. 155 00:07:25,278 --> 00:07:28,030 Well, Oscar, you don't know what the hell you're talking about. 156 00:07:28,115 --> 00:07:30,282 Michael, what do you think shutting down a branch is? 157 00:07:30,367 --> 00:07:32,618 All right, then we're screwed. 158 00:07:33,537 --> 00:07:39,708 I am just a net that traps all of your crappy subconscious ideas 159 00:07:40,794 --> 00:07:44,964 and adds a little bit of my own childhood memories and whimsy so... 160 00:07:45,048 --> 00:07:47,925 Okay, well, I lost a ton of money today. 161 00:07:48,009 --> 00:07:49,510 And I have a mortgage, so I'm a little pissed, too. 162 00:07:49,594 --> 00:07:50,928 Thank you. Jim is with me. 163 00:07:51,012 --> 00:07:52,680 Absolutely not. I'm mad at you. 164 00:07:52,889 --> 00:07:56,892 Well, you know what, Jim, it is not my fault that you bought a house to impress Pam. 165 00:07:56,977 --> 00:07:59,520 - That is why carnations exist. - That's not why. 166 00:07:59,604 --> 00:08:04,316 Okay, we need a gold-ticket idea to get us out of this mess. Yes? 167 00:08:04,401 --> 00:08:06,652 Does that mean an idea that blows up in our faces later? 168 00:08:06,778 --> 00:08:07,778 Good one. 169 00:08:07,863 --> 00:08:10,531 Okay, don't get that. Please. 170 00:08:10,907 --> 00:08:12,575 I've got a golden-ticket idea. 171 00:08:12,659 --> 00:08:15,202 Why don't you skip on up to the roof and jump off? 172 00:08:15,287 --> 00:08:16,954 That is not constructive. 173 00:08:17,372 --> 00:08:18,998 Dunder Mifflin, this is Pam. 174 00:08:19,916 --> 00:08:21,417 Oh, hi, David. 175 00:08:22,460 --> 00:08:24,503 He's having a colonoscopy. 176 00:08:26,089 --> 00:08:28,924 All right. I'll find out if he's out yet. 177 00:08:29,801 --> 00:08:32,052 Hello, David. I just got back from my procedure, so... 178 00:08:32,137 --> 00:08:34,263 Michael, what the hell is going on here? 179 00:08:34,347 --> 00:08:35,431 How are you doing? 180 00:08:35,515 --> 00:08:37,474 Fine. What is going on? My colonoscopy 181 00:08:37,559 --> 00:08:40,811 was an examination of my large colon 182 00:08:40,896 --> 00:08:43,689 and the distal part of my small bowel with a camera. 183 00:08:43,773 --> 00:08:47,234 Why did you okay this golden-ticket idea? 184 00:08:47,319 --> 00:08:50,196 We're going to lose a fortune, Michael. How could you let this happen? 185 00:08:50,280 --> 00:08:55,784 Well, there is an explanation that involves me not letting it happen, 186 00:08:55,869 --> 00:08:59,538 and I just don't... I don't know. 187 00:08:59,623 --> 00:09:00,831 How could you not know, Michael? 188 00:09:00,916 --> 00:09:06,629 I think we might have hired an outside marketing consultant. 189 00:09:08,048 --> 00:09:10,883 You might have... Okay, what firm? 190 00:09:10,967 --> 00:09:13,302 You're breaking up. Michael. 191 00:09:13,386 --> 00:09:17,806 Okay. I think it might have been an inside consultant. 192 00:09:18,600 --> 00:09:20,726 Was it the sales department? 193 00:09:21,519 --> 00:09:22,561 Yes. 194 00:09:22,646 --> 00:09:25,231 Was it Jim? No. 195 00:09:25,315 --> 00:09:27,066 Okay. Was it Dwight? 196 00:09:30,862 --> 00:09:31,946 Yes. 197 00:09:36,952 --> 00:09:40,204 Come on in. Good to see you. Have a seat. 198 00:09:42,040 --> 00:09:46,252 I just wanted to congratulate you on that great golden-ticket idea. 199 00:09:46,336 --> 00:09:47,503 That was your idea. 200 00:09:47,587 --> 00:09:49,922 Whoa, wow, who told you that? You did. 201 00:09:50,006 --> 00:09:50,965 No. Several times. 202 00:09:51,049 --> 00:09:52,174 I don't think I ever did. Over and over again. 203 00:09:52,300 --> 00:09:54,134 That was your idea, Dwight. You were dressed as Willy Wonka. 204 00:09:54,261 --> 00:09:56,345 I'm not taking credit for that. So... Wasn't my idea. 205 00:09:56,429 --> 00:09:58,180 Would love to, but I can't. Wait a second, wait a second. 206 00:09:58,265 --> 00:10:00,641 Wait a second. I wrote it down in my diary. 207 00:10:00,767 --> 00:10:03,435 You don't keep a diary. Yes, I do. You've just never seen it. 208 00:10:03,520 --> 00:10:08,524 March 4th, "Dwight came up with the best idea today about golden tickets." 209 00:10:08,608 --> 00:10:09,858 Hold on. 210 00:10:17,033 --> 00:10:20,202 March 4th, 211 00:10:20,287 --> 00:10:22,621 "Michael Scott came up with golden-ticket idea to give five customers 212 00:10:22,706 --> 00:10:24,748 "10% off for one year." 213 00:10:24,833 --> 00:10:25,916 Why do you have a diary? 214 00:10:26,001 --> 00:10:27,293 To keep secrets from my computer. 215 00:10:27,377 --> 00:10:29,378 Okay, you know what, you came up with this idea. 216 00:10:29,462 --> 00:10:33,632 I remember you told me that you loved the Willy Wonka movie 217 00:10:33,717 --> 00:10:35,301 when you were growing up. Impossible. 218 00:10:35,427 --> 00:10:38,595 Yes, you did. I wasn't given candy as a child, 219 00:10:38,680 --> 00:10:42,766 so a movie that fetishized it that much would've made no sense to me. 220 00:10:42,851 --> 00:10:47,229 Plus, we weren't allowed to see movies, so do the math. 221 00:10:50,275 --> 00:10:51,275 What are you writing? 222 00:10:51,359 --> 00:10:55,654 "Had conversation with Michael about taking credit for an idea that wasn't mine. 223 00:10:55,739 --> 00:10:57,281 "Discussed movies." 224 00:10:57,365 --> 00:11:01,535 Would you like to go to lunch with me? Just the two of us? 225 00:11:03,538 --> 00:11:05,205 With all my heart. 226 00:11:06,041 --> 00:11:08,375 You guys are throwing a lot at me. 227 00:11:08,460 --> 00:11:11,503 Well, all I'm saying is it's the first date, so just keep a respectful distance. 228 00:11:11,588 --> 00:11:12,629 Right. 229 00:11:12,714 --> 00:11:14,798 I don't think Jim means to say that you shouldn't touch her. 230 00:11:14,883 --> 00:11:15,883 No, that is what I mean. 231 00:11:15,967 --> 00:11:19,053 Kevin, a playful touch on the arm or on the back, 232 00:11:19,137 --> 00:11:22,890 it can show your interest, and it's really romantic. 233 00:11:22,974 --> 00:11:24,725 Like that? No. Stop it. 234 00:11:27,020 --> 00:11:32,232 Don't touch her, don't talk to her, don't look at her. 235 00:11:32,317 --> 00:11:34,401 He wants to be more than just friends. Put your heart out there, 236 00:11:34,486 --> 00:11:36,862 it's liable to just turn into this blackened, carbon brick, 237 00:11:36,946 --> 00:11:39,490 where it has barbeque sauce of shame and rage. 238 00:11:39,616 --> 00:11:42,409 And two hot people with a perfect relationship 239 00:11:42,494 --> 00:11:44,536 would not understand that. 240 00:11:46,247 --> 00:11:48,040 We think a lot alike. 241 00:11:48,708 --> 00:11:52,753 Sometimes you will think something, and I will say what you're thinking. 242 00:11:52,837 --> 00:11:55,047 Okay, what am I thinking right now? 243 00:11:57,384 --> 00:11:59,009 Nacho chips. No. 244 00:11:59,094 --> 00:12:01,303 I was thinking about how the skin is the largest organ of the body. 245 00:12:01,388 --> 00:12:04,306 Okay. Let me just cut to the chase, Dwight. 246 00:12:05,642 --> 00:12:07,267 I want you to fall on your sword for me. 247 00:12:07,352 --> 00:12:08,811 Oh, not gonna happen. 248 00:12:09,354 --> 00:12:10,813 I did fall on my sword once. 249 00:12:10,897 --> 00:12:14,316 I was running with it in my belt. Won't happen again. 250 00:12:14,567 --> 00:12:18,320 Why do you even want to stay at Dunder Mifflin? I mean, what's the point? 251 00:12:18,405 --> 00:12:22,574 You're cooped up in there all day. You don't get to do your farming. 252 00:12:22,659 --> 00:12:23,909 You're not dating Angela anymore. 253 00:12:23,993 --> 00:12:28,914 It doesn't matter if you get fired for taking credit for the gold-ticket idea. 254 00:12:28,998 --> 00:12:30,124 It doesn't matter. 255 00:12:30,208 --> 00:12:32,626 Me, on the other hand, I would be lost without this place. 256 00:12:32,710 --> 00:12:34,420 You, way too manly. 257 00:12:34,504 --> 00:12:35,838 What about Shoe La La? 258 00:12:35,922 --> 00:12:38,215 It's not ready yet. 259 00:12:38,299 --> 00:12:43,178 I have an idea for a fancy men's shoe store called Shoe La La. 260 00:12:44,264 --> 00:12:48,642 And it's just men's shoes for the special occasions in a man's life. 261 00:12:49,352 --> 00:12:54,273 Like the day that you get married, or the day your wife has a baby, 262 00:12:54,357 --> 00:12:56,567 or for just lounging around the house. 263 00:12:58,153 --> 00:13:00,946 May I have your attention, please? I have an announcement. 264 00:13:01,030 --> 00:13:07,786 Mr. Dwight Schrute and I just returned from a wonderful stroll together. 265 00:13:07,871 --> 00:13:12,040 And although I probably will never do it again, I had fun. 266 00:13:12,125 --> 00:13:15,836 I really had fun with my best friend, Dwight. These aren't announcements. 267 00:13:15,920 --> 00:13:19,339 Yes, they are. You just don't care about the information. 268 00:13:19,424 --> 00:13:22,092 I love working here, and I do not want to leave. 269 00:13:22,177 --> 00:13:24,052 He doesn't love it that much. 270 00:13:24,137 --> 00:13:26,096 Wouldn't be such a bad thing for him to be fired. 271 00:13:26,222 --> 00:13:30,058 Well... I mean, like we were talking about, 272 00:13:30,143 --> 00:13:32,978 that is why he has come to the conclusion... 273 00:13:33,062 --> 00:13:36,064 We discussed the fact that I'm cooped up here 274 00:13:36,149 --> 00:13:37,983 instead of experiencing the whole wide world. 275 00:13:38,109 --> 00:13:40,903 Right. You know, plowing my own acres. 276 00:13:40,987 --> 00:13:45,657 Going around shirtless all day. You know, experiencing freedom. 277 00:13:45,742 --> 00:13:49,453 That's it. That's it. You can't put a price on freedom. 278 00:13:49,579 --> 00:13:51,246 Try me. That's why you've made the decision. 279 00:13:51,414 --> 00:13:53,207 That's why you made... 280 00:13:53,333 --> 00:13:55,417 I haven't made a decision yet. You kind of have. 281 00:13:55,502 --> 00:13:58,921 No. Yes, you have. 282 00:14:03,426 --> 00:14:05,427 You cannot take the fall for him. 283 00:14:05,512 --> 00:14:06,845 He said he would do the same for me. 284 00:14:06,930 --> 00:14:11,141 He can do the same for you right now by getting fired instead of you. 285 00:14:13,520 --> 00:14:15,646 So what are you going to do? 286 00:14:16,356 --> 00:14:21,735 I'm going to go back to work, after I write you up for insubordination. 287 00:14:21,819 --> 00:14:23,111 There he is. 288 00:14:25,823 --> 00:14:28,659 Oh, my God. Dwight! Dwight, get in. 289 00:14:29,744 --> 00:14:32,829 What's it going to be? What are you going to do? 290 00:14:32,914 --> 00:14:35,874 What's it going to be? Are you going to do this thing for me? 291 00:14:36,042 --> 00:14:37,292 Dwight? 292 00:14:38,753 --> 00:14:41,004 Hey, David, how are you? Michael. 293 00:14:41,089 --> 00:14:42,798 Good to see you. Nice surprise. Hey. 294 00:14:42,882 --> 00:14:43,882 Yeah. 295 00:14:43,967 --> 00:14:47,302 Dwight and I were just having a very unfortunate conversation. 296 00:14:47,387 --> 00:14:48,470 That's too bad. 297 00:14:48,555 --> 00:14:51,056 Yes, it is. But it had to be done, didn't it? 298 00:14:51,140 --> 00:14:56,478 Hopefully, nothing that can't be undone because, Dwight, I owe you an apology. 299 00:14:56,563 --> 00:14:59,064 The head of Blue Cross just called. 300 00:14:59,148 --> 00:15:01,316 They were so excited by the golden-ticket discount 301 00:15:01,401 --> 00:15:05,404 that they have decided to make Dunder Mifflin their exclusive provider 302 00:15:05,488 --> 00:15:07,406 of all office supplies. 303 00:15:10,702 --> 00:15:12,578 Congratulations, Dwight. 304 00:15:14,998 --> 00:15:16,164 David, 305 00:15:19,419 --> 00:15:21,253 you're welcome. Yeah. 306 00:15:26,676 --> 00:15:29,595 I just want to say that this golden-ticket idea 307 00:15:29,679 --> 00:15:32,806 is one of the most brilliant signs of initiative I've ever seen at this company. 308 00:15:32,890 --> 00:15:36,643 And how about a big round of applause for Mr. Dwight Schrute? 309 00:15:39,230 --> 00:15:40,897 All right, Dwight! 310 00:15:42,150 --> 00:15:44,693 This is huge. That's what she said. 311 00:15:46,487 --> 00:15:50,032 Hey, Dwight, great idea. Dwight, Dwight, great idea. 312 00:15:51,492 --> 00:15:53,869 How'd you come up with that idea? 313 00:15:55,038 --> 00:15:56,580 Inspiration. Really? 314 00:15:56,706 --> 00:15:58,582 How were you inspired? Never know when it's going to strike. 315 00:15:58,708 --> 00:16:01,001 How did it pop into your head, Dwight? Just boom. 316 00:16:01,085 --> 00:16:02,628 Just give me the details of how that happened. 317 00:16:02,712 --> 00:16:05,547 You're talking to Dwight Schrute, the biggest Wonka fan I know. 318 00:16:05,632 --> 00:16:07,633 I mean, you've been talking about that movie for years. 319 00:16:07,717 --> 00:16:08,884 What? 320 00:16:08,968 --> 00:16:10,469 You know what, I even made fun of you 321 00:16:10,553 --> 00:16:13,055 when you dressed up as Willy Wonka to pitch this idea, 322 00:16:13,139 --> 00:16:14,473 and, for that, I apologize. 323 00:16:14,557 --> 00:16:16,475 Apology rejected. 324 00:16:16,559 --> 00:16:18,810 Thanks so much for helping the company, Dwight. 325 00:16:18,895 --> 00:16:20,187 Oh, Pam. 326 00:16:20,271 --> 00:16:21,313 Good work, kid. 327 00:16:21,397 --> 00:16:22,648 Thanks, old man. 328 00:16:22,732 --> 00:16:23,774 This is... This is great. 329 00:16:23,858 --> 00:16:26,985 Okay, look, I want to get you on the horn with the marketing people in New York. 330 00:16:27,070 --> 00:16:28,528 - They should meet you. - Great idea. Yeah. 331 00:16:28,613 --> 00:16:31,573 Pam, could you set up a call in there in about 15 minutes, please? 332 00:16:31,658 --> 00:16:33,450 Sure. David. David. 333 00:16:33,576 --> 00:16:35,077 David. David. 'Cause I've got this idea for a... 334 00:16:35,203 --> 00:16:37,037 Yeah? Could I be part of the meeting also? 335 00:16:37,121 --> 00:16:38,330 You probably have too much to do around here. 336 00:16:38,414 --> 00:16:40,874 I don't want to take up your time with another meeting. 337 00:16:40,958 --> 00:16:43,460 Yeah, let's face it, this meeting sounds like it's Wonka fans only. 338 00:16:43,586 --> 00:16:44,670 He's never seen the movie. 339 00:16:44,754 --> 00:16:46,505 All right. 340 00:16:53,971 --> 00:16:57,349 Hey, guys, I have with me Dwight Schrute. Dwight, take it away. 341 00:16:57,433 --> 00:17:01,812 Okay, guys, listen up. Here's the deal. I love candy, sweet, sugary candy, 342 00:17:01,896 --> 00:17:03,271 from the second it touches my tongue 343 00:17:03,356 --> 00:17:05,524 to the moment it's metabolized by my stomach acid, 344 00:17:05,608 --> 00:17:08,694 so naturally I liked Willy Wonka. 345 00:17:08,778 --> 00:17:10,862 Wait, do you guys hear that? 346 00:17:10,947 --> 00:17:14,199 There's not a dog listening in, is there? I hear panting. 347 00:17:14,283 --> 00:17:16,159 No. No dogs. 348 00:17:16,244 --> 00:17:19,454 So I love Willy Wonka. 349 00:17:19,539 --> 00:17:23,458 The golden-ticket scene is so inspiring to me 350 00:17:23,543 --> 00:17:25,502 that that's where I came up with that idea. 351 00:17:25,586 --> 00:17:27,713 There is no movie called Willy Wonka! 352 00:17:27,797 --> 00:17:29,548 It's called Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory. 353 00:17:29,632 --> 00:17:32,050 It's actually based on a book called Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. 354 00:17:32,135 --> 00:17:34,386 I can't vouch for that. Pam. 355 00:17:34,470 --> 00:17:37,597 But I do know this. He is a liar. He has taken my idea. 356 00:17:37,682 --> 00:17:39,891 That is my idea. We are going to call you back, guys. 357 00:17:39,976 --> 00:17:43,270 What is going on here? Okay, here's what happened, David. 358 00:17:43,354 --> 00:17:44,771 It was all my idea. 359 00:17:44,856 --> 00:17:47,858 You called me, and you were really angry at me, 360 00:17:47,942 --> 00:17:50,277 and I got scared, so I had Dwight take the fall. 361 00:17:50,361 --> 00:17:52,738 But now it turns out that it's a great idea, 362 00:17:52,822 --> 00:17:55,407 and Dwight will not confess. Can you believe that? 363 00:17:55,491 --> 00:17:56,742 No. No. It is my idea. 364 00:17:56,826 --> 00:17:59,244 How dare you, Dwight? It is my idea. 365 00:17:59,328 --> 00:18:00,704 I'm filled with good ideas. Are you? 366 00:18:00,788 --> 00:18:02,247 Thousands of good ideas. You are? 367 00:18:02,331 --> 00:18:03,582 Yeah. Good ideas? 368 00:18:03,666 --> 00:18:05,375 Hey, did you come up with Toilet Buddy? 369 00:18:05,460 --> 00:18:08,170 It's a net, a circular net you put inside the toilet 370 00:18:08,254 --> 00:18:12,215 to catch all of your change and your wallet from falling into the toilet, 371 00:18:12,300 --> 00:18:14,384 formerly known as Toilet Guard. Horse Boat. 372 00:18:14,510 --> 00:18:17,220 Oh, please. A canoe built around your horse 373 00:18:17,305 --> 00:18:20,390 so you can go from riding to water travel without slowing down. 374 00:18:20,516 --> 00:18:21,975 Horse Boat. Toilet Sponge. 375 00:18:22,059 --> 00:18:23,935 It's a hollowed out sponge... Give me a break. 376 00:18:24,020 --> 00:18:27,898 That is more absorbent and softer than toilet paper. 377 00:18:27,982 --> 00:18:30,275 I have a lot of toilet ideas. That's 'cause they're easy. 378 00:18:30,359 --> 00:18:32,068 They're not easy. Guys. Guys. 379 00:18:32,153 --> 00:18:33,904 Everybody... Women's urinal. 380 00:18:34,030 --> 00:18:39,409 Everybody has to go to the bathroom! Enough. Please, enough. 381 00:18:39,494 --> 00:18:43,955 Well, is this true, Dwight? I mean, is this true? 382 00:18:44,040 --> 00:18:49,628 Yes, it's Michael's idea that he forced on me on threat of death. 383 00:18:49,712 --> 00:18:51,046 Thank you. 384 00:18:51,964 --> 00:18:53,715 I don't know what... What do you want me to do now, Michael? 385 00:18:53,800 --> 00:18:56,134 What am I supposed to do now? 386 00:18:56,219 --> 00:18:57,969 Well, David, I will be honest with you. 387 00:18:58,054 --> 00:19:01,056 I do want the credit without any of the blame. 388 00:19:02,225 --> 00:19:05,685 Okay. I am going back to New York. 389 00:19:07,897 --> 00:19:11,066 Pam, do me a favor, don't send me those notes. 390 00:19:11,150 --> 00:19:12,234 Okay. 391 00:19:13,736 --> 00:19:15,070 I am gone. 392 00:19:20,243 --> 00:19:22,828 When they look back on this day in the history books, 393 00:19:22,912 --> 00:19:26,373 all that will be remembered is that I had a good idea. 394 00:19:26,457 --> 00:19:29,251 And that's what I'm going to write down in my diary. 395 00:19:29,335 --> 00:19:31,169 And that is what I want you to write down in yours. 396 00:19:31,254 --> 00:19:34,297 Oh, I am. In my own words. 397 00:19:35,341 --> 00:19:36,383 I want to see it. No. 398 00:19:36,467 --> 00:19:37,509 I want to see that. No, Michael. 399 00:19:37,593 --> 00:19:39,678 Give me the diary. No. No! 400 00:19:45,393 --> 00:19:47,352 Hi. Lynn, 401 00:19:47,436 --> 00:19:50,647 I'm just going to say to you everything that I'm thinking. 402 00:19:50,731 --> 00:19:54,276 Okay. I think you have the best smile. 403 00:19:55,820 --> 00:19:58,905 I'd like to take you out to dinner and a movie. 404 00:19:59,949 --> 00:20:00,949 Okay. 405 00:20:01,784 --> 00:20:02,826 Nice... 406 00:20:04,579 --> 00:20:05,745 boobs. 407 00:20:14,380 --> 00:20:16,673 Well, it's his funeral, so... 408 00:20:20,761 --> 00:20:21,761 Ding dong. 409 00:20:21,846 --> 00:20:22,971 Who is it? 410 00:20:23,055 --> 00:20:24,890 KGB. All right. 411 00:20:24,974 --> 00:20:27,142 I just got out of the shower. I'll be one second. 412 00:20:27,226 --> 00:20:29,644 When you are done, open the door. 413 00:20:33,441 --> 00:20:34,900 Hello in there? 414 00:20:34,984 --> 00:20:36,735 Yeah, I'm late for work so I have to brush my teeth. 415 00:20:36,819 --> 00:20:38,028 It's a whole routine. 416 00:20:38,112 --> 00:20:40,155 We have other houses to visit. 417 00:20:40,239 --> 00:20:43,575 If you want to come back, then that would be fine. 418 00:20:43,659 --> 00:20:45,660 We'll come back at... 419 00:20:45,995 --> 00:20:47,704 How's 4:45? 420 00:20:47,788 --> 00:20:49,623 I get home from work around 6:00. 421 00:20:51,751 --> 00:20:53,668 15? 422 00:20:54,629 --> 00:20:57,088 You can try. That might work. 423 00:20:57,173 --> 00:20:59,299 Very well, we will 15. 424 00:20:59,383 --> 00:21:00,717 All right.