1
00:00:06,840 --> 00:00:08,633
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)

2
00:01:05,607 --> 00:01:07,483
(HIP HOP MUSIC PLAYING)

3
00:01:26,044 --> 00:01:27,503
Come on, boy.

4
00:01:28,672 --> 00:01:30,339
Oh, who's a good boy?

5
00:01:31,383 --> 00:01:35,470
"My vagina is a shell,
a round pink tender shell,

6
00:01:35,554 --> 00:01:37,597
"opening and closing and opening.

7
00:01:37,681 --> 00:01:39,432
"My vagina is a flower..."

8
00:01:40,476 --> 00:01:42,351
What the fuck is wrong with you?

9
00:01:42,436 --> 00:01:43,853
Vagina Monologues.

10
00:01:44,229 --> 00:01:46,773
Me and Faustino
are putting it up in class tonight.

11
00:01:46,857 --> 00:01:49,233
Vagina Monologues,
I thought that was for girls.

12
00:01:49,318 --> 00:01:53,654
It's a gender reversal exercise, bro.
That's what being a good actor's all about.

13
00:01:53,739 --> 00:01:56,616
Sorry, Drama. I thought you already had
your gender reversed.

14
00:01:56,700 --> 00:01:57,700
Funny, dick.

15
00:01:57,785 --> 00:02:00,661
E, I decided we're going with the Benz.

16
00:02:00,746 --> 00:02:03,247
You're sure?
You changed your mind 10 times already.

17
00:02:03,332 --> 00:02:06,167
No, I'm set. I had a dream about it last night.

18
00:02:06,251 --> 00:02:09,921
I dreamt about it last night, too, Vince.
We're cruising down Rodeo.

19
00:02:10,005 --> 00:02:12,006
Suddenly two jerk-offs pull up and say:

20
00:02:12,090 --> 00:02:13,966
"Chase brothers, fuck your mother!"

21
00:02:14,051 --> 00:02:15,468
And then open fire.

22
00:02:15,552 --> 00:02:17,595
It had to be a dream.
Somebody recognized you?

23
00:02:17,679 --> 00:02:18,888
DRAMA: That's funny.

24
00:02:19,348 --> 00:02:21,390
You're gonna love this. This is really good.

25
00:02:21,475 --> 00:02:25,228
- You put soy milk in these again?
- You're lactose intolerant. Don't fight it.

26
00:02:25,312 --> 00:02:28,064
Vince, they got the stains
out of your black Dolces.

27
00:02:28,148 --> 00:02:29,148
VINCE: Cool.

28
00:02:29,233 --> 00:02:31,317
I only got you nine iPods. They ran out.

29
00:02:31,401 --> 00:02:33,653
- Did you get The Trades?
- Right here, boss.

30
00:02:33,737 --> 00:02:36,781
- I'm just warning you. It ain't pretty.
- VINCE: Oh, really?

31
00:02:36,865 --> 00:02:39,075
Fucking prick called you a thespian.

32
00:02:40,035 --> 00:02:41,536
Read it out loud, E.

33
00:02:43,622 --> 00:02:45,790
You don't want to hear this, Vince.

34
00:02:45,916 --> 00:02:47,750
Come on, man. I'm a big boy.

35
00:02:48,293 --> 00:02:50,753
"In Head On,
a by-the-numbers crime thriller,

36
00:02:50,838 --> 00:02:53,130
"only one thing is proven
beyond a reasonable doubt:

37
00:02:53,215 --> 00:02:54,966
"Vincent Chase is guilty of fraud."

38
00:02:55,050 --> 00:02:57,093
(LAUGHING)

39
00:02:57,177 --> 00:02:58,678
Wow. That's fucked up.

40
00:02:58,762 --> 00:03:02,640
Fuck critics. Remember what they said
about me when Viking Quest aired?

41
00:03:02,808 --> 00:03:04,934
Who laughed their way through a full 22?

42
00:03:05,018 --> 00:03:06,185
Keep reading.

43
00:03:06,270 --> 00:03:09,689
"This fly-by-night pretty-boy,
tapped as the 'it actor' of the moment,

44
00:03:09,773 --> 00:03:12,733
"makes walking and talking
seem so difficult, that by the end,

45
00:03:12,818 --> 00:03:15,528
"you wish someone would just let
the man rest."

46
00:03:17,489 --> 00:03:20,449
- At least he said I was pretty.
- All the Chase men are pretty.

47
00:03:20,534 --> 00:03:22,910
Yeah. You're a real beauty queen, Drama.

48
00:03:24,121 --> 00:03:26,497
- You all right?
- Yeah. Whatever.

49
00:03:26,582 --> 00:03:29,250
Good or bad, you can't let
what these people say affect you.

50
00:03:29,334 --> 00:03:32,628
- That's right. 'Cause you're a fucking star.
- True knocking.

51
00:03:32,796 --> 00:03:35,339
All right. We got Ari in 30 minutes. So...

52
00:03:35,799 --> 00:03:37,884
Johnny, you still need some help
with that scene?

53
00:03:37,968 --> 00:03:40,803
From a no-talent pretty boy like you?
I think I'll pass.

54
00:03:40,888 --> 00:03:41,888
Oh.

55
00:03:45,475 --> 00:03:48,227
- Loretta, how you doing?
- Hi, beautiful.

56
00:03:52,065 --> 00:03:55,735
How you doing?

57
00:03:55,819 --> 00:03:57,028
Four o'clock.

58
00:04:09,499 --> 00:04:13,502
- Who's that girl? She's cute as hell.
- That was fucking Justine Chapin, bro.

59
00:04:13,587 --> 00:04:15,796
- The singer?
- No way that girl's a virgin.

60
00:04:15,881 --> 00:04:17,089
That's what she's famous for.

61
00:04:17,174 --> 00:04:19,467
She's saving it till marriage.
Everybody knows that.

62
00:04:19,551 --> 00:04:22,720
- Bullshit! I don't buy it.
- Teen Beat don't lie.

63
00:04:22,804 --> 00:04:25,097
Hey, you guys, I'm Emily,
Ari's new assistant.

64
00:04:25,182 --> 00:04:27,266
- Hi.
- You are new, honey.

65
00:04:27,351 --> 00:04:30,519
It's good to meet guys from Queens.
My dad's from Flushing.

66
00:04:30,604 --> 00:04:32,688
- Oh, yeah?
- Oh, yeah? Where'd you grow up?

67
00:04:33,190 --> 00:04:35,983
I grew up out here.
But don't hold that against me.

68
00:04:36,068 --> 00:04:38,778
- Can I offer you anything to drink?
- I'll have a water.

69
00:04:38,862 --> 00:04:40,446
Yeah, I'll have a water.

70
00:04:40,530 --> 00:04:42,365
You got Welch's Grape Soda?

71
00:04:43,200 --> 00:04:45,576
EMILY: He's in a meeting.
Can he call you back, please?

72
00:04:45,661 --> 00:04:46,744
Thank you.

73
00:04:47,371 --> 00:04:49,705
- (PHONE RINGING)
- Ari Gold's office. Please hold.

74
00:04:50,540 --> 00:04:53,542
It's the girl's first day.
You really needed to hassle her?

75
00:04:53,627 --> 00:04:56,879
You order something unusual,
people will never forget you.

76
00:04:57,214 --> 00:04:59,548
I think E's got something for that Emily.

77
00:04:59,633 --> 00:05:02,051
Seriously.
'Cause I'm always ordering weird shit,

78
00:05:02,135 --> 00:05:04,553
and now, all of a sudden,
it's become a problem?

79
00:05:04,638 --> 00:05:07,139
- You like Emily?
- I don't even know the girl.

80
00:05:07,224 --> 00:05:08,766
- I'll hook it up.
- Don't do it.

81
00:05:08,850 --> 00:05:10,643
Emily, you got a boyfriend?

82
00:05:10,852 --> 00:05:13,270
'Cause my man, E, here
just got his heart broken.

83
00:05:13,355 --> 00:05:14,689
He thinks you're kind of cute.

84
00:05:14,773 --> 00:05:16,732
Oh, yeah? Which one's E?

85
00:05:18,944 --> 00:05:20,194
How you doing?

86
00:05:21,655 --> 00:05:24,615
Lay off the new girl.
She's not broken in yet. Come on in, boys.

87
00:05:24,700 --> 00:05:25,700
Hey, Ari.

88
00:05:26,576 --> 00:05:28,577
- Hold everything for me, will you?
- EMILY: Yeah.

89
00:05:28,704 --> 00:05:29,704
DRAMA: Vince. Vince.

90
00:05:30,956 --> 00:05:33,499
No representation. Just reminding you.

91
00:05:39,047 --> 00:05:40,297
Do me a favor.

92
00:05:42,009 --> 00:05:43,551
Make sure I'm off book, okay?

93
00:05:43,635 --> 00:05:44,635
Okay.

94
00:05:45,095 --> 00:05:46,554
EMILY: Ari Gold's office. Please hold.

95
00:05:46,638 --> 00:05:50,599
"If your vagina could talk,
what would it say, in two words?"

96
00:05:51,184 --> 00:05:53,310
Eat me. (LAUGHING)

97
00:05:53,395 --> 00:05:54,520
Give me that thing.

98
00:05:54,604 --> 00:05:56,272
Look at the boy, huh?

99
00:05:56,565 --> 00:05:59,859
Wait for it. Boom!
Look at the ass on my next door neighbor.

100
00:05:59,943 --> 00:06:02,778
See that? Four kids.
My wife says it's impossible to maintain.

101
00:06:02,863 --> 00:06:04,238
VINCE: You've a good-looking boy, Ari.

102
00:06:04,322 --> 00:06:06,907
He likes chicks.
See the glance? Look at that.

103
00:06:06,992 --> 00:06:10,578
What's up with this Justine Chapin chick?

104
00:06:11,288 --> 00:06:12,246
Justine Chapin.

105
00:06:12,330 --> 00:06:16,208
Every young actor in Hollywood wants
to be the first one in there. Take a number.

106
00:06:16,293 --> 00:06:17,877
Ah, come on. She's not a virgin.

107
00:06:17,961 --> 00:06:19,462
Always the cynic, E.

108
00:06:20,297 --> 00:06:22,840
Ari, should we be worried
about this review?

109
00:06:23,216 --> 00:06:26,385
No. It's not even a real paper, Vince.
It's Variety.

110
00:06:26,470 --> 00:06:28,721
I'm not worried. I think Eric's worried.

111
00:06:28,805 --> 00:06:32,808
No, I'm not. I mean, it's a bad review.
I would've preferred a good one, but...

112
00:06:32,893 --> 00:06:35,394
- What's your point?
- ERIC: My point is, what're we doing?

113
00:06:35,479 --> 00:06:36,520
- What are we doing?
- Yeah.

114
00:06:36,605 --> 00:06:37,563
What are we doing?

115
00:06:37,647 --> 00:06:41,734
- What are we doing about Vince's next job?
- I got Vince his next job. It's Matterhorn!

116
00:06:41,818 --> 00:06:45,112
You passed on it, remember?
He passed on your next job, Vince.

117
00:06:45,197 --> 00:06:47,573
The guy doesn't want to make money.
He's a communist.

118
00:06:47,657 --> 00:06:49,408
Are you a communist or a socialist?

119
00:06:49,493 --> 00:06:51,660
Or didn't you learn the difference
at Pepperoni U?

120
00:06:51,745 --> 00:06:53,245
And what are you, a Rhodes scholar?

121
00:06:53,330 --> 00:06:56,749
I'm a lowly Harvard grad
with a J.D. /M.B.A. From Michigan. That's it.

122
00:06:56,833 --> 00:06:59,001
- Michigan, huh? Good football team.
- Yeah.

123
00:06:59,252 --> 00:07:00,419
What'd they do at Harvard?

124
00:07:00,504 --> 00:07:01,754
- They row.
- No, they crew.

125
00:07:01,838 --> 00:07:02,880
- Crew.
- They crew.

126
00:07:02,964 --> 00:07:05,674
Vince, we gotta get you a real manager.

127
00:07:05,759 --> 00:07:08,928
Why pay 10%
when I got E over here for $4,000 a month?

128
00:07:09,012 --> 00:07:11,222
Cash.
Where are those scripts we talked about?

129
00:07:11,306 --> 00:07:13,390
Emily, scripts!
I pay my dog-walker $4,000 a month.

130
00:07:13,475 --> 00:07:15,810
- Wanna play the Riv tomorrow?
- Yeah, let's hack it up.

131
00:07:15,894 --> 00:07:16,936
You caddie?

132
00:07:17,020 --> 00:07:18,979
I'll caddie for you the day you outdrive me.

133
00:07:19,064 --> 00:07:21,690
- Really? Then you're caddying.
- VINCE: Everybody wins.

134
00:07:21,775 --> 00:07:22,900
(PHONE RINGING)

135
00:07:23,401 --> 00:07:26,445
Just call me if the pages
printed out too light or anything.

136
00:07:26,530 --> 00:07:27,822
Okay. I will.

137
00:07:28,490 --> 00:07:30,866
My brother needs an agent.

138
00:07:31,201 --> 00:07:33,702
I got Billy in the mailroom.
He needs his first client.

139
00:07:33,787 --> 00:07:35,121
We'll hook him up. I'm kidding.

140
00:07:35,205 --> 00:07:38,082
We're golden. We're in great shape.
What're you talking about?

141
00:07:38,166 --> 00:07:40,042
We're in great shape.
We're gonna open huge.

142
00:07:40,127 --> 00:07:42,837
Hang back.
I want to bounce some scripts off your boy.

143
00:07:42,921 --> 00:07:45,548
- Keep me posted.
- You got it. Keep your cell phone on.

144
00:07:45,632 --> 00:07:47,341
Put those down. Come here.

145
00:07:47,425 --> 00:07:48,968
(PHONE RINGING)

146
00:07:50,428 --> 00:07:51,929
(SIGHING)

147
00:07:52,013 --> 00:07:55,808
Where's your bedside manner, dummy?
Why did you bring up a bad review?

148
00:07:55,892 --> 00:07:58,018
- You said it didn't matter.
- It does matter.

149
00:07:58,103 --> 00:07:59,812
Everyone in this town reads that thing.

150
00:07:59,896 --> 00:08:03,983
I got more calls about this stupid-ass thing
than I did when my mother passed away.

151
00:08:04,067 --> 00:08:08,070
We got 200 reviews coming out on Friday.
If they're like this, we're in deep shit.

152
00:08:08,155 --> 00:08:11,657
That's why you book your next job
before the movie comes out.

153
00:08:11,908 --> 00:08:12,950
Altoid?

154
00:08:18,957 --> 00:08:21,959
Take him out, keep him happy, all right?

155
00:08:22,043 --> 00:08:24,170
He's got meetings coming up,
scripts to read.

156
00:08:24,254 --> 00:08:26,505
He must keep focused.
Have a good time with him.

157
00:08:26,590 --> 00:08:29,592
- Keep his mind off that fucking review.
- Yeah. You're right.

158
00:08:29,676 --> 00:08:32,011
We in this together? Are we in it together?

159
00:08:32,095 --> 00:08:34,346
- Yeah. You're right.
- Ah! I'm kidding.

160
00:08:34,764 --> 00:08:37,308
- Don't fucking mention that review again!
- I'm not.

161
00:08:37,601 --> 00:08:38,851
You want to hug it out?

162
00:08:38,935 --> 00:08:41,395
- No, not really.
- Let's hug it out, bitch.

163
00:08:41,479 --> 00:08:42,479
Let's hug it out.

164
00:08:44,774 --> 00:08:47,484
You remember
The Orange County Register said

165
00:08:47,569 --> 00:08:49,361
I was a functioning retard.

166
00:08:49,446 --> 00:08:52,698
- Now, that was a bad review.
- I thought that was a compliment.

167
00:08:52,782 --> 00:08:55,242
You should come and check out
this class with me.

168
00:08:55,327 --> 00:08:58,370
You gotta audition to get in.
But since you're legacy...

169
00:08:58,455 --> 00:09:00,206
You think I need an acting class?

170
00:09:00,290 --> 00:09:03,375
You don't need an acting class, Vince.
Let's go get you a car.

171
00:09:03,460 --> 00:09:05,085
What did Ari say?

172
00:09:05,170 --> 00:09:08,172
Uh, good stuff. I got a box of scripts to read.

173
00:09:09,007 --> 00:09:11,425
- So it's all good?
- Yeah, it's all good.

174
00:09:11,509 --> 00:09:14,720
- Let's go get you a Benz.
- Fuck the fucking Mercedes, Vince.

175
00:09:14,804 --> 00:09:18,515
What are you, a soccer mom?
You want a car? I know what to get you.

176
00:09:27,150 --> 00:09:28,442
RANDY: Vincent Chase!

177
00:09:29,236 --> 00:09:31,654
My daughter's a huge fan.

178
00:09:32,155 --> 00:09:34,698
- What are we looking at today?
- The Phantom.

179
00:09:35,325 --> 00:09:36,992
Excellent choice.

180
00:09:37,869 --> 00:09:41,247
RANDY: This is the ultimate luxury motorcar,
gentlemen.

181
00:09:41,998 --> 00:09:43,666
Justin Timberlake, Jay-Z.

182
00:09:43,750 --> 00:09:46,293
Queen Latifah purchased one
for her manager.

183
00:09:46,419 --> 00:09:49,880
When you drive a Rolls-Royce,
you are making a statement.

184
00:09:50,173 --> 00:09:52,341
And how expensive is this statement?

185
00:09:52,425 --> 00:09:55,135
- $320,000.
- Not bad.

186
00:09:55,303 --> 00:09:59,431
But if you sign a picture for my daughter,
I'll give it to you for $319,000.

187
00:10:00,350 --> 00:10:03,185
Ah, how much if he bangs his daughter?

188
00:10:03,770 --> 00:10:06,272
You don't buy this car, Vince. You lease it.

189
00:10:06,356 --> 00:10:09,275
That's how all the broke jerk-offs
in this town drive 911 s.

190
00:10:09,359 --> 00:10:11,902
We have excellent terms on our lease.

191
00:10:11,987 --> 00:10:13,028
What do you think, E?

192
00:10:13,113 --> 00:10:15,447
I think it costs more than
the houses we grew up in.

193
00:10:15,532 --> 00:10:18,450
A fucking Subaru costs more
than the houses we grew up in.

194
00:10:18,535 --> 00:10:19,743
I don't know.

195
00:10:20,078 --> 00:10:22,830
- Think I should buy this car?
- Come on, are you serious?

196
00:10:22,914 --> 00:10:27,001
- You're gonna spend $320,000 on a car?
- So you don't think I should do it.

197
00:10:27,877 --> 00:10:30,004
I didn't say you shouldn't do it.

198
00:10:31,464 --> 00:10:33,924
- If you wanna do it, do it.
- So I'm gonna do it.

199
00:10:34,009 --> 00:10:35,551
Do it, Vince. Do it, baby.

200
00:10:35,635 --> 00:10:36,885
Do it, Vince.

201
00:10:38,888 --> 00:10:40,180
Fuck it, do it.

202
00:10:41,766 --> 00:10:44,351
What did you say
your daughter's name was again, Randy?

203
00:10:44,436 --> 00:10:46,603
(RAP SONG PLAYING)

204
00:10:58,241 --> 00:10:59,992
VINCE: Yo, this car makes driving fun.

205
00:11:00,076 --> 00:11:01,577
I might even get my license.

206
00:11:01,661 --> 00:11:03,662
We should've had
one of these in high school.

207
00:11:03,747 --> 00:11:05,831
ERIC: Why? You think that
would've gotten you laid?

208
00:11:05,915 --> 00:11:07,791
TURTLE: More than my yellow Fiero did.

209
00:11:07,876 --> 00:11:11,295
Shit. I got crazy pussy in high school.
And I was driving a moped.

210
00:11:11,379 --> 00:11:13,797
Roll down the windows.
We're stinking this beast up.

211
00:11:13,882 --> 00:11:16,508
No, it's cool. I hate the smell of a new car.

212
00:11:20,805 --> 00:11:22,473
(CAR HORN HONKING)

213
00:11:22,557 --> 00:11:24,016
Yo, check this out.

214
00:11:24,351 --> 00:11:26,143
Nice car!

215
00:11:26,227 --> 00:11:27,686
- Thanks.
- What do you do?

216
00:11:27,771 --> 00:11:31,231
Me? I'm a lottery winner, sweetheart.
Powerball.

217
00:11:32,067 --> 00:11:33,567
You girls wanna party?

218
00:11:33,651 --> 00:11:35,736
You look familiar. How do I know you?

219
00:11:35,820 --> 00:11:37,863
You watch Cinemax at 5:00 a. M?

220
00:11:37,947 --> 00:11:40,491
- (LAUGHING)
- Call two friends. Follow us.

221
00:11:40,658 --> 00:11:42,368
- All right.
- Not too close.

222
00:11:53,630 --> 00:11:55,381
(CELL PHONE RINGING)

223
00:11:58,468 --> 00:11:59,676
Hello?

224
00:11:59,886 --> 00:12:01,220
Marv, how you doing?

225
00:12:01,304 --> 00:12:04,181
I can't hear you.
I got water in my ears. Talk to E.

226
00:12:04,808 --> 00:12:05,974
VINCE: It's Marvin.

227
00:12:06,059 --> 00:12:07,226
Hey, Marvin.

228
00:12:08,186 --> 00:12:10,062
Uh, yeah. I guess so.

229
00:12:10,897 --> 00:12:13,482
Okay. See you then. Bye.

230
00:12:15,485 --> 00:12:17,403
He wants us to come up to his office.

231
00:12:17,487 --> 00:12:20,406
No, I'm not gonna listen to him
tell me how to spend my money.

232
00:12:20,490 --> 00:12:22,991
He's your business manager.
That's what you pay him for.

233
00:12:23,076 --> 00:12:26,161
So you go listen to him.
That's what I'm paying you for.

234
00:12:26,246 --> 00:12:28,664
So, what? Is he, like, your boss?

235
00:12:29,207 --> 00:12:32,709
- Yeah. Something like that.
- (LAUGHING) E's got a boss!

236
00:12:34,212 --> 00:12:35,754
And who's your boss, Turtle?

237
00:12:35,839 --> 00:12:38,215
What'd you say? I can't hear you, dick.

238
00:12:40,009 --> 00:12:41,844
Thank God I'm self-employed.

239
00:12:42,679 --> 00:12:46,181
He must have been out of his mind
buying a $300,000 Rolls-Royce!

240
00:12:46,266 --> 00:12:49,017
- He didn't buy it, Marvin. He leased it.
- That's even worse.

241
00:12:49,102 --> 00:12:51,728
Because if he bought it,
in a pinch, we could sell it.

242
00:12:51,813 --> 00:12:53,939
You're supposed to be
the one with some smarts.

243
00:12:54,023 --> 00:12:56,608
- What's the matter with you?
- What am I supposed to do?

244
00:12:56,693 --> 00:12:59,945
He wanted the car, he got it.
I can't tell him how to spend his money.

245
00:13:00,029 --> 00:13:04,700
But you got enough balls to tell him
to pass on a $4 million fucking movie offer.

246
00:13:05,034 --> 00:13:06,952
The script sucked, Marvin.

247
00:13:07,036 --> 00:13:08,871
He wants artistic integrity?

248
00:13:08,997 --> 00:13:10,998
Then, let him drive around in a Prius.

249
00:13:11,082 --> 00:13:12,499
This isn't my fault. All right?

250
00:13:12,584 --> 00:13:15,919
Ari's got my head fucked up.
He told me to get his mind off the review.

251
00:13:16,004 --> 00:13:17,754
You guys are out of control.

252
00:13:17,839 --> 00:13:21,258
$2,500 a month his brother spends
on vitamin supplements.

253
00:13:21,801 --> 00:13:25,387
Nobody could take that many supplements
and still fucking live.

254
00:13:25,805 --> 00:13:28,807
Turtle's got a $1,500 a month cell phone bill.

255
00:13:28,892 --> 00:13:32,644
You can get an unlimited plan for $200.
Get him an unlimited plan!

256
00:13:32,729 --> 00:13:34,146
I'll get him free weekends.

257
00:13:34,230 --> 00:13:37,774
Don't be a wise guy.
Come on, get the fuck out of here. I'm busy.

258
00:13:38,318 --> 00:13:39,443
And, Eric,

259
00:13:40,278 --> 00:13:42,821
don't forget to get your parking validated.

260
00:13:48,620 --> 00:13:50,787
Hey, asshole! Not so close to the Rolls.

261
00:13:50,872 --> 00:13:52,456
All right. Relax, guy.

262
00:13:54,792 --> 00:13:57,669
TURTLE: I say we move to the 'Bu.
DRAMA: The what?

263
00:13:57,754 --> 00:14:01,548
- Malibu, baby. We'll learn to surf.
- I don't care where we move. Find a place

264
00:14:01,633 --> 00:14:03,842
where this clown
doesn't have to use my bathroom.

265
00:14:03,927 --> 00:14:04,885
TURTLE: What's the problem?

266
00:14:04,969 --> 00:14:07,596
The problem is you're filthy,
and you use all my products.

267
00:14:07,680 --> 00:14:08,764
What products?

268
00:14:08,848 --> 00:14:11,892
I found my Kiehl's open
next to one of your beat-off mags.

269
00:14:11,976 --> 00:14:13,685
- (LAUGHING)
- TURTLE: So?

270
00:14:13,770 --> 00:14:15,479
So, A: Stop using my bathroom.

271
00:14:15,563 --> 00:14:19,107
And B: Why do gotta use
$47 lotion to whack off with?

272
00:14:19,234 --> 00:14:21,235
I got sensitive skin.

273
00:14:21,319 --> 00:14:23,820
- ERIC: What's up, fellows?
- We're looking at houses.

274
00:14:23,905 --> 00:14:25,948
Houses?
What's wrong with the one we've got?

275
00:14:26,032 --> 00:14:28,700
Car's too nice for our place.
We got to step it up a level.

276
00:14:28,785 --> 00:14:30,285
Check out this one.

277
00:14:32,288 --> 00:14:34,665
- It's $10 million.
- Yeah. But it's nice.

278
00:14:35,625 --> 00:14:39,044
This is L.A. This year, it's worth $10 million,
next year, $20 million.

279
00:14:39,128 --> 00:14:40,921
But it's this year, and it's $10 million.

280
00:14:41,005 --> 00:14:44,132
Hack's got a mortgage broker, E.
Says money's real cheap now.

281
00:14:44,217 --> 00:14:46,843
He's talking out of his ass.
Do you know what that means?

282
00:14:46,928 --> 00:14:49,763
Not really.
But if Hack said it, it must be good.

283
00:14:50,515 --> 00:14:52,307
FEMALE VOICE: Guess who?

284
00:14:52,684 --> 00:14:53,976
Um...

285
00:14:54,769 --> 00:14:56,728
Edward James Olmos.

286
00:14:56,813 --> 00:14:59,731
Oh, right! You didn't even say his name right.

287
00:15:00,108 --> 00:15:01,942
- How are you?
- How you doing?

288
00:15:02,026 --> 00:15:05,612
- Good. Nice to see you. Hey, boys.
- What's going on?

289
00:15:05,697 --> 00:15:07,656
- Hi, Jessica.
- JESSICA: Nice to see you.

290
00:15:07,991 --> 00:15:10,951
I read the thing in the Variety.

291
00:15:11,494 --> 00:15:12,911
I'm sorry.

292
00:15:13,830 --> 00:15:15,539
No. The guy was such an asshole.

293
00:15:15,623 --> 00:15:16,957
- You were great.
- Really?

294
00:15:17,041 --> 00:15:19,668
Yeah. You were fantastic. Wasn't he great?

295
00:15:19,752 --> 00:15:22,504
- You were great.
- Ah, thank you.

296
00:15:23,047 --> 00:15:24,923
So what are you doing tonight?

297
00:15:25,008 --> 00:15:27,092
Tonight? I don't know.
What do you have in mind?

298
00:15:27,176 --> 00:15:30,137
I'm having a party for my friend, Justine.
She's going on tour.

299
00:15:30,221 --> 00:15:32,764
Oh, yeah, we saw her today.
Justine Chapin, right?

300
00:15:32,849 --> 00:15:35,601
- Yeah.
- She's cute. What's her deal?

301
00:15:35,727 --> 00:15:38,312
Not a chance. She's saving herself.

302
00:15:38,396 --> 00:15:40,272
Oh, come on. Is that really true?

303
00:15:40,356 --> 00:15:44,901
Yeah. For this album, at least.
So, are you guys coming?

304
00:15:44,986 --> 00:15:46,153
- Yeah.
- Absolutely.

305
00:15:46,237 --> 00:15:47,321
We'll be there.

306
00:15:47,405 --> 00:15:49,406
I'll see you later. Glad I ran into you.

307
00:15:49,490 --> 00:15:53,201
- Nice to see you. See you tonight.
- TURTLE: Bye.

308
00:15:54,746 --> 00:15:56,038
DRAMA: Jessica Alba.

309
00:15:56,497 --> 00:15:57,706
That's gonna be off the hook.

310
00:15:57,790 --> 00:15:59,708
What about your class, Drama?

311
00:16:01,210 --> 00:16:04,463
Fuck that class.
They ain't paying me to be there, bro.

312
00:16:05,840 --> 00:16:08,717
You gotta pop the pop star's cherry.
It'd be great press.

313
00:16:08,801 --> 00:16:12,512
- No. Virgins are too much responsibility.
- I'll do it. I could use the press.

314
00:16:12,597 --> 00:16:15,432
- She's not a virgin.
- She is. I can tell by the way she sings.

315
00:16:15,516 --> 00:16:17,476
That's right. Virgins do know virgins.

316
00:16:17,560 --> 00:16:20,312
Look who's talking,
Mr. Beg-for-pussy-on-prom-night.

317
00:16:20,396 --> 00:16:21,980
I was begging my girlfriend, Turtle.

318
00:16:22,065 --> 00:16:24,316
Not a $40 hooker
who declined your mother's credit card.

319
00:16:24,400 --> 00:16:25,442
(ALL LAUGHING)

320
00:16:25,526 --> 00:16:27,110
Claudia, remember her?

321
00:16:30,406 --> 00:16:32,574
(PEOPLE TALKING INDISTINCTLY)

322
00:16:35,495 --> 00:16:37,412
So, who was your first, Drama?

323
00:16:37,705 --> 00:16:40,332
Tracy Richter. It was a mess.

324
00:16:40,416 --> 00:16:43,794
I always hoped I'd get to re-fuck her.
You know, do it right.

325
00:16:43,878 --> 00:16:46,797
- How about you, Vince? Who was your first?
- I don't know.

326
00:16:46,881 --> 00:16:48,131
You don't know?

327
00:16:48,216 --> 00:16:51,760
- Fuck that. Everybody remembers their first.
- Yeah? Well, I don't.

328
00:16:51,844 --> 00:16:56,056
I remember your first. It was Cindy Davis,
behind the arcade at Nathan's.

329
00:16:56,307 --> 00:16:59,393
- Yeah, you may be right.
- "Yeah, you may be right." Bullshit.

330
00:16:59,477 --> 00:17:02,020
I don't believe for a second
you don't remember your first.

331
00:17:02,105 --> 00:17:04,064
Like I don't believe
Justine Chapin's a virgin.

332
00:17:04,148 --> 00:17:06,983
What kind of virgin has a snake tat
pointing down to her box?

333
00:17:07,193 --> 00:17:09,111
You're both hiding something.

334
00:17:09,237 --> 00:17:10,445
CLERK: That's $253.

335
00:17:10,863 --> 00:17:14,241
- $253. Nice bottle of wine.
- It's for Jessica Alba, E.

336
00:17:14,325 --> 00:17:16,243
You can't give her Boone's Farm.

337
00:17:16,327 --> 00:17:18,078
You want some of this?

338
00:17:18,162 --> 00:17:19,204
(ERIC TALKING INDISTINCTLY)

339
00:17:19,288 --> 00:17:20,831
(DRAMA TALKING INDISTINCTLY)

340
00:17:20,915 --> 00:17:22,624
Save that signature, baby.

341
00:17:23,960 --> 00:17:25,669
(DANCE MUSIC PLAYING)

342
00:17:28,339 --> 00:17:30,132
(PEOPLE TALKING INDISTINCTLY)

343
00:17:47,024 --> 00:17:48,066
JESSICA: Hey, guys!

344
00:17:48,151 --> 00:17:49,985
- Jessica!
- How are you?

345
00:17:50,820 --> 00:17:52,279
Hello, how are you?

346
00:17:52,363 --> 00:17:55,574
Bar's here, bar's over there,
girls are everywhere,

347
00:17:55,658 --> 00:17:59,327
bathroom's back there,
and I need to steal your friend for a second.

348
00:17:59,495 --> 00:18:01,747
TURTLE: All right. See you later.

349
00:18:01,831 --> 00:18:04,291
We're going to the bar, let's go to the bar.

350
00:18:04,375 --> 00:18:07,169
Yeah. Save me a drink.
I'm heading to Silicon Valley.

351
00:18:07,253 --> 00:18:09,296
- What are you drinking?
- TURTLE: Uh, whiskey.

352
00:18:11,883 --> 00:18:13,800
You girls seen the new Rolls?

353
00:18:14,677 --> 00:18:17,971
- It's really nice to meet you.
- It's very nice to meet you.

354
00:18:18,639 --> 00:18:20,891
I'm gonna leave you two.

355
00:18:21,267 --> 00:18:22,642
(CHUCKLING)

356
00:18:24,145 --> 00:18:25,771
(GUAJIRA PLAYING)

357
00:18:35,323 --> 00:18:38,200
There she is. Snowcone, how are you?

358
00:18:38,659 --> 00:18:41,536
- My dark angel! Hello, honey.
- Hey, Ari.

359
00:18:41,704 --> 00:18:43,288
- Unbelievable party.
- Thanks.

360
00:18:43,372 --> 00:18:45,290
Jason, right?
How you doing? Nice to see you.

361
00:18:45,374 --> 00:18:47,918
I think that you could be doing a lot more.

362
00:18:48,002 --> 00:18:52,130
- No, I do. I think...
- You're really talking shop right now.

363
00:18:52,215 --> 00:18:54,633
- I am talking shop.
- At my house.

364
00:18:54,717 --> 00:18:56,843
- Indeed...
- At my party.

365
00:18:56,928 --> 00:18:58,970
- Yes, yes.
- My agent isn't here.

366
00:18:59,055 --> 00:19:02,432
I know. I slashed her tires. She's
on her hands and knees on Mulholland.

367
00:19:02,517 --> 00:19:05,644
She won't make it, because you want
a statue. You deserve a statue.

368
00:19:05,728 --> 00:19:06,770
Can you believe this guy?

369
00:19:06,854 --> 00:19:08,980
You deserve it.
Because your natural energy,

370
00:19:09,065 --> 00:19:10,732
the way you are hasn't been seen yet.

371
00:19:10,817 --> 00:19:13,819
Someone needs to step up
and utilize you for the way you are.

372
00:19:13,903 --> 00:19:17,989
You're a self-empowered, interesting woman
and you need to take it. Not an MTV award.

373
00:19:18,074 --> 00:19:22,452
But a real one. And I want to be there.
"May I have the envelope?" Let me be there.

374
00:19:22,537 --> 00:19:25,455
- Can I think about it?
- Thinking is bad for your complexion.

375
00:19:25,540 --> 00:19:28,250
You shine,
I'll think and make it happen, okay?

376
00:19:28,334 --> 00:19:30,669
Give me three months
to get you out of a leotard.

377
00:19:30,753 --> 00:19:32,921
Warm up those vocal cords, Drama.

378
00:19:33,673 --> 00:19:35,924
- They got karaoke here tonight.
- Yeah, I know.

379
00:19:36,008 --> 00:19:39,302
Should I go with Sinatra
or something a little more poppy?

380
00:19:39,595 --> 00:19:42,514
Yo, Drama. What are you doing here?

381
00:19:42,598 --> 00:19:44,724
Me? Why aren't you in class?

382
00:19:44,809 --> 00:19:46,685
'Cause I knew you'd fuck me, you prick!

383
00:19:46,769 --> 00:19:49,479
Gender reversal exercise.
What are we, fags?

384
00:19:49,564 --> 00:19:52,023
Yeah, I know. Come here. Meet my new girl.

385
00:19:52,275 --> 00:19:53,733
Be right back, bro.

386
00:19:57,321 --> 00:20:00,156
- What's up, Ari?
- You having a good time, man?

387
00:20:00,241 --> 00:20:02,868
Yeah? It's not all fun and fucking games.
Thanks, bro.

388
00:20:02,952 --> 00:20:04,369
What are you talking about?

389
00:20:04,453 --> 00:20:08,540
You told Marvin that I said that it was okay
that Vince buys a fucking Rolls.

390
00:20:08,624 --> 00:20:10,041
- Did not.
- You did, you said it.

391
00:20:10,126 --> 00:20:11,918
You fucking said it. You kidding me?

392
00:20:12,003 --> 00:20:14,754
Don't ever fucking talk about me
behind my back again.

393
00:20:14,839 --> 00:20:18,383
Otherwise, I'll have to fucking kill you.
I got ears everywhere.

394
00:20:30,646 --> 00:20:33,857
No, I respect that. If that's what you want.

395
00:20:34,817 --> 00:20:37,652
- It's not totally true.
- Which part?

396
00:20:38,654 --> 00:20:40,864
I'm not really saving myself for marriage.

397
00:20:40,948 --> 00:20:43,783
So what are you saving yourself for?

398
00:20:46,037 --> 00:20:48,079
I'm saving myself for someone special.

399
00:20:48,164 --> 00:20:49,247
Huh.

400
00:20:50,416 --> 00:20:54,336
- Have you ever been anyone's first?
- Oh, no. And I don't plan to be.

401
00:20:55,296 --> 00:20:59,257
I don't want to be anyone's first,
and I don't want to be anyone's last.

402
00:21:02,511 --> 00:21:03,887
That's too bad.

403
00:21:06,307 --> 00:21:07,682
(CHUCKLING)

404
00:21:10,019 --> 00:21:14,481
Doors fly open by itself. Heated back seats,
front seats. Unbelievable.

405
00:21:14,607 --> 00:21:16,566
(ALL NIGHT LONG PLAYING)

406
00:21:31,874 --> 00:21:34,125
All right. It was your cousin.

407
00:21:35,586 --> 00:21:36,920
What was my cousin?

408
00:21:37,004 --> 00:21:38,546
My first time.

409
00:21:38,631 --> 00:21:41,132
You fucked my cousin, Debbie?

410
00:21:41,217 --> 00:21:42,509
Not Debbie. Sheryl.

411
00:21:42,593 --> 00:21:45,178
I fucked Debbie, too, but not till years later.

412
00:21:45,262 --> 00:21:48,515
Ooh, wow, you're an asshole.
You got no shame.

413
00:21:48,599 --> 00:21:50,350
What? You got hot cousins.

414
00:21:51,185 --> 00:21:52,978
They had a good time.

415
00:21:54,188 --> 00:21:56,564
Come on. Look at you. You're miserable.

416
00:21:57,984 --> 00:21:59,317
You know what?

417
00:21:59,402 --> 00:22:02,445
Maybe Ari's right.
Maybe you should get a real manager.

418
00:22:02,655 --> 00:22:04,280
It was one review, E.

419
00:22:04,365 --> 00:22:05,740
It's not just the review.

420
00:22:05,825 --> 00:22:08,618
A million people out there
have more experience than I do.

421
00:22:08,703 --> 00:22:13,623
Fuck experience.
Come on, I trust you. You got instincts.

422
00:22:14,875 --> 00:22:18,670
But you know, you're the reason
why I moved out here in the first place.

423
00:22:18,754 --> 00:22:22,632
- What are you talking about?
- Third grade. I was trying out for basketball.

424
00:22:22,717 --> 00:22:25,343
You said, "Douche bag,
you're too pretty for basketball.

425
00:22:25,428 --> 00:22:27,595
"You know, go try the school play."

426
00:22:28,305 --> 00:22:30,640
- Did I say that really?
- Yeah.

427
00:22:31,726 --> 00:22:34,519
- I was just an asshole kid, I guess.
- And a lot taller, too.

428
00:22:34,603 --> 00:22:35,979
(CHUCKLING)

429
00:22:37,273 --> 00:22:38,398
Look.

430
00:22:40,234 --> 00:22:42,736
Take a look. Look where we are.

431
00:22:44,238 --> 00:22:46,364
Did you ever think we'd have this?

432
00:22:47,408 --> 00:22:49,451
Man, enjoy it. Have fun.

433
00:22:49,744 --> 00:22:50,910
Worst comes to worst,

434
00:22:50,995 --> 00:22:53,705
we'll go tear it up in Queens,
like we always have.

435
00:22:53,789 --> 00:22:56,374
Fucking Turtle's out front,
christening the Rolls.

436
00:22:56,459 --> 00:22:59,294
Great. A day old,
it's already gotta be detailed.

437
00:23:00,171 --> 00:23:03,423
You know what?
We look like assholes in that thing anyway.

438
00:23:03,632 --> 00:23:05,884
Get rid of it. Return it tomorrow, E.

439
00:23:05,968 --> 00:23:07,802
You took a three-year lease.

440
00:23:08,012 --> 00:23:09,804
You'll figure it out.

441
00:23:11,182 --> 00:23:12,474
What a view!

442
00:23:13,893 --> 00:23:17,437
DRAMA: We're at a party
with some of the hottest girls in the world,

443
00:23:17,605 --> 00:23:20,315
and we're staring
at a bunch of fucking lights.

444
00:23:21,650 --> 00:23:24,360
- Let's go find you a girl, E.
- Yeah.

445
00:23:24,779 --> 00:23:26,029
What about me?

446
00:23:33,829 --> 00:23:35,997
ERIC: I don't wanna
go back to Queens, Vince.

447
00:23:36,082 --> 00:23:37,415
DRAMA: Who the fuck's
going back to Queens?

448
00:23:37,500 --> 00:23:39,834
VINCE: Nobody's going back to Queens.

449
00:23:48,677 --> 00:23:50,303
(BIRDS CHIRPING)

450
00:23:51,388 --> 00:23:53,181
(CELL PHONE RINGING)

451
00:23:53,974 --> 00:23:54,974
It's Ari.

452
00:23:57,269 --> 00:23:58,269
Yeah?

453
00:24:02,316 --> 00:24:04,025
All right. I'll tell him.

454
00:24:05,861 --> 00:24:08,613
New York Times says
you're the next Johnny Depp.

455
00:24:10,366 --> 00:24:11,366
Cool.

456
00:24:11,867 --> 00:24:13,618
You guys wanna go look at houses today?

457
00:24:13,702 --> 00:24:15,578
Yeah, baby. (LAUGHING)

458
00:24:15,663 --> 00:24:18,748
Let's get one with an outdoor pool, though.
I'm getting all pasty.

459
00:24:18,833 --> 00:24:21,668
- ERIC: Indoor pool's overrated.
- Hurry up with that bone, man.

460
00:24:21,752 --> 00:24:22,919
TURTLE: It's coming.

461
00:24:24,922 --> 00:24:26,840
(RAP SONG PLAYING)