(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)
- (BARKING) - (WOMAN YELLING)
- So, how many times you call her? - Once.
And she didn't call you back? Bitch.
Emily's not a bitch.
I was calling you a bitch, for thinking about calling her again.
That is very bitch-like.
You call a girl once, she don't call you back, the relationship's over.
I was drunk. I don't even remember what I said.
Maybe she never got the message.
- You drunk-dialed her? - Still, no excuse.
- VINCE: No more tequila for this guy. - You're cut off.
- What is she so mad about, anyway? - It's not that she's mad.
She feels like I'm putting her in an uncomfortable situation with me and Ari.
You should've bluffed her, spun it around.
Let her think you're uncomfortable with the situation.
DRAMA: First Kristen, then Emily.
(PHONE RINGING)
Why do you let these girls get in your head?
The guys have a point. You're getting a little soft in your old age.
It's Ari, finally. Ari, where are you?
ARl: Right where I'm supposed to be. Where are you?
ERIC: We're at Coffee Bean, like we said.
No, we said Starbucks, Eric.
I distinctly remember, because I fucked a counter girl here.
Be careful crossing the street. He's at Starbucks.
(CAR HONKING)
(GROANING)
Whoa!
What, did you rob a bank?
I earned it. Pacific Blue residuals, baby. We sold Malaysia.
- How much you got there, bro? - Don't you worry about it.
So, what's with the face to face?
I just want you guys to know that all of my attention...
is now focused on Queens Boulevard.
That's nice.
- Isn't that nice? - Yeah. So, we have a deal or what?
- We got a deal pending. - Pending what?
Pending a meeting with the director.
We gotta get approved by the director now?
No, we don't. It's like a meet and greet. A blind date. Fifteen minutes.
You have a drink, you like each other, you make a movie.
- Blind dates are my forte. - There you go.
I'm heading up the coast with the missus. Call me, tell me if you guys like each other.
Boom!
- You did good, Ari. - Thank you.
- Tell him, E. - You did good, Ari.
Oh! We just had a moment. Did you feel that?
I think I'm gonna leave Mrs. Ari and take you for the weekend.
Don't do that.
- TURTLE: So, who's the guy? - Billy Walsh.
- Yeah? - You heard of him?
Yeah, the guy won Sundance. Film called Daze.
I read the guy financed his movie...
- by donating blood. - How was it?
I didn't see that shit. You know I don't like indies.
- I'm into the studio system. - Ari says this guy's hot.
Everybody in town wants to work with him. We got him.
He wants to work with Vince.
- You'll ask him about a part for me, right? - And nothing else.
- Where's the meeting? - Chateau.
- Arnold, come on, boy. - You guys want to roll with?
The fuck else we got to do, player?
(THAT SMELL PLAYING)
You guys hang here. We'll be back in a little while.
Don't talk to us like we're adopted, bro.
MAN: Just leave it outside the door, asshole!
It's Vincent Chase.
- You Billy? - No.
(RUN THROUGH THE JUNGLE PLAYING)
(WOMAN CHATTERING)
You guys see Billy around anywhere?
- You know Billy? - WOMAN: Yeah, whatever.
All right.
Sorry, pal.
- You sure you're not Billy? - Do I look like fucking Billy?
(VINCE CHUCKLING)
I don't think that's Billy.
BILLY: Hey.
Hey. Hey. Hey.
My man, Vincent Chase.
Wick was right. You're very fuckable in person.
(WOMEN LAUGHING)
You fucking laughing? This guy's the best actor of his generation.
No bullshit. He'll blow all your asses off the screen.
- Thank you. - You guys are early.
Actually, no. We're right on time.
That might mean something to me if I knew who you were.
- VINCE: This is my buddy, Eric. - You can call me E.
Is that your thing, being on time? I won Sundance at 24.
What do you gotta say about that kind of arrival?
- Congratulations. - Cool.
I'm gonna get dressed. You guys grab a cocktail or something.
I'll be right out.
He's a nice guy.
We're not here to make friends. We're here to make a movie.
You know Howard Hughes used to stay in this room back in the day.
Now Scorsese's doing the movie.
They offered it to Billy first, but he turned it down.
He ain't gonna soft-soap nobody.
Billy's a genius, brother. You're lucky to be working with him.
- You're an asshole! - Shut up!
(DOOR SLAMMING)
- Come on, let's get some coffee. - WOMAN: Bye, baby.
Come on. I'm buying.
(BIRDS CHIRPING)
(PEOPLE CHATTERING)
You ever jerk off with a belt around your neck?
(SCOFFING)
No. Should I?
Sounds interesting.
All right, forget that shit. Check this out. Scandinavian twins.
For $1,500, they'll come over and fuck us like we're Vince.
I don't pay for pussy.
Since when? It's like 50 rub and tugs with you.
Since I like walking around with money in my pocket.
Come on, Drama, you got that fat residual check.
They're just your type.
No means no.
Let me talk to him. You're like a fucking bull in a china shop.
Thank you.
All right, one.
My agent.
Fucking prick wants me to do a studio movie.
Yeah, mine, too.
BILLY: I told him to go fuck himself. I'm not in this for the money, Vince.
Queens Boulevard is gonna be my Mean Streets.
- Kind of an ode to the way we grew up. - You grew up in Queens?
Scarsdale, but my dad owned a Key Food in Kew Gardens.
I bet you'd like to see Vince do a big studio movie, E?
- Actually, no. - He just wants me to do a good film.
Come on. There is no glory in making a $5 million indie, E.
There is if it's a good one.
Ari said you had thoughts on the script, things you might want to change.
- It's done. - ERIC: What did you do?
I made Vincent's character a man.
See, he was a pussy. That sensitive shit was putting me to sleep.
The stuff with the girlfriend was pretty good.
No, it wasn't.
Vince, I want to shoot you long-lensed.
Give you size in the frame, power.
Like Redford in Three Days ofthe Condor. McQueen in Bullitt.
You like The Pope of Greenwich Village?
It's one of my favorite films.
You should do a remake of that, Vince.
No. No one should ever remake that movie. It was perfect.
You'd let them redo the Mona Lisa, E?
(LAUGHING)
Anyway...
read it. Tell me what you think.
- All right. - Call my cell. I'll be waiting.
- Great. - Don't let the suit influence you.
Hey, man, I'm not a suit.
Yeah, man, you are. You just don't know it yet.
- Toodle-loo. - VINCE: See you later.
Hey, Billy.
I'm Johnny, Vince's brother.
I really digged your movie, man.
- It was great. - (SPEAKING ITALIAN) Thanks.
(BOTH GRUNTING)
Unbelievable.
- You must've found a glitch. - So what?
So you're a little glitch bitch.
Blame the game makers. Don't blame the player, hater.
Give me that control.
- Get off! Why are... - This one sucks.
Who dates Scarlett Johansson?
Ryan Gosling? Actually, I don't know.
I love her.
Vince, we got a big problem here.
E., we have no problems. Life is good.
Do you know who dates Scarlett Johansson?
- No. - VINCE: I think I'm in love with her.
Did you read this?
You know I like to get your impressions first.
It's a disaster. This guy Walsh is out of his fucking mind.
Don't get so emotional just 'cause you got a personal problem with him.
What?
He wasn't so nice to E.
(SCOFFS)
- That's not it. - This guy gets more opinionated every day.
Don't fuck this up, E. I really want to do this.
The guy said the suit would be judgmental.
He's got a guy blowing you on Page 26!
(CHUCKLING) Come on.
Seriously?
VINCE: I better read it.
- I better read that shit, too. - Who's blowing him?
I hope it's not the part of the bookie, 'cause I'm playing that.
That would be really awkward.
Look, Vince, there's no shame in playing gay.
Look at Tom Hanks, Philadelphia. The guy won an Oscar.
I'd take it in the ass on camera for an Oscar.
You'd take it in the ass for a guest spot on The Hughleys.
DRAMA: That's not even on the air anymore.
I don't know about you, but I don't want to see Vince...
running around Queens with a silk shirt knotted at the bellybutton.
- Wow! You're really homophobic. - No, I'm not.
If you were gay, okay, I'd accept that. But you're not.
So why are you gonna pretend you are?
'Cause the guy's an actor, you fucking idiot. That's what he does.
No, that's what you do, you ass-fucked loser.
Keep it up, Turtle.
It's not about an Oscar or the neighborhood.
If it's good, I'll do it.
I'm just not sure I understand why it's in there.
It's in there 'cause Walsh is psychotic. He's got to change the script back.
- So call him, E. - I'm calling him.
Billy, it's E.
Yeah, Vince's guy.
Listen, we want to talk to you about the script.
(LAUGHING)
Hold on a second.
He's at Crazy Girls. He wants us to come over right now.
- Sweet. - Crazy Girls at noon?
Cancel that order, honey.
Crazy Girls has got a great buffet.
(TWIST OF CAIN PLAYING)
Why aren't you eating?
They got downgraded to a "B."
If these warm plates aren't heated up to the right temperature...
they become hotbeds of bacteria.
Hey.
Isn't that that girl from Cheetahs in Vegas?
Yeah, the one you cock blocked me for.
Please, she was so into me.
Hey! Hey!
Don't cock block.
- I know you guys. How you been? - TURTLE: I'm good.
This perv likes to beat off with a belt around his neck.
This guy pays for pussy.
I see you guys haven't changed.
So, who wants a lap dance?
Sorry, baby. The money stays here.
What's the problem, E? You want a blonde?
I just wanted to talk about the script.
So talk about it. You thought it was genius, right?
Not really, no.
No? What the fuck do you know?
Vince, I thought I told you not to let the suit influence you.
Stop calling me a suit, all right?
I just liked the script better the way it was, that's all.
What did you think, Vince?
I thought it was interesting. I just didn't totally get it.
That's cool. I was trying to be abstract, like Kurosawa.
- You ever seen a Kurosawa film? - Yeah, I saw Seven Samurai.
BILLY: I seen them all, Vince. I'll send you a couple.
Cool.
You think the scene where you're getting a blowjob from a guy...
makes you look like a fag, right?
Uh, yeah.
You ever see Midnight Cowboy? Does Voight look like a fag in that?
In that hat and those boots, he does.
(LAUGHING) Shit.
My point is, I wanna make you look manly.
- Okay. - But you gotta trust me.
(CELL PHONE RINGING)
(WALK WITH ME PLAYING)
Kristen.
Really?
Excuse me for a second. Sorry.
Ex-Mrs. Suit?
(LAUGHING)
You could say that.
- Hello? - So who's Emily?
What are you talking about? How do you know Emily?
I got home and checked my messages and heard you calling Emily.
Can you turn the music down?
I was drunk last night. I must've dialed your number by accident.
You sure it wasn't your subconscious way of trying to reach out to me?
You analyzing me right now?
I got the message and I tried not to call, but I miss you.
Seriously?
Can we go out to dinner sometime this week and talk about it?
ERIC: Yeah, definitely.
I need $100. This girl's gonna jerk me in the back.
No.
Drama won't lend me money if it's for sexual acts.
Not now, Turtle. I'm on the phone.
You got glitter all over your face.
- Can I call you tonight? - All right.
Bye.
ERIC: What do you mean, you committed to the guy?
I dig his vibe. You don't have to get mad at me.
He is pretty cool. He was throwing strippers $20s.
He's a pretentious prick. You don't wanna make this movie with him.
You don't know artists. You haven't hung out with many.
- Yeah, we're very sensitive. - I know people, all right?
This guy is an egomaniac and he's an asshole.
Vince, I'll respect whatever decision you make...
but I'm still going for that part of the bookie.
I thought I was making the decisions around here.
Not ultimately. Enough of this.
Why don't you tell these guys how you drunk-dialed Kristen, not Emily?
- You called Kristen? - You idiot.
What's wrong with you? Don't ever drunk-dial.
E., marry this girl or kill her. We can't take this anymore.
(BOTH MOANING)
- So, did you call the babysitter? - I thought you did.
No, you were supposed to. You're the one who likes to talk to her.
You think I have a thing for Olga? This weekend is all us.
I'm good to go, baby.
(CELL PHONE RINGING)
Don't even think about answering that.
- Don't even... - Just quick.
- Hello? - We got a big problem.
Hold on a second.
Vince has got a problem.
Baby, I took it an hour ago, okay? I got 10 more minutes before it kicks in.
Just give me a second, honey. Baby.
Vince hated Walsh?
No, I hated him. Vince doesn't know I'm doing this.
Ooh, behind the back. Slick, I'm aroused. Go, baby, go.
- Have you met this guy? - ARl: Yeah, he's a pompous dickhead.
Why didn't you say something?
You wanted me to deliver the movie. That's what I did.
You got to get Walsh off.
So now you need my help? So now you come to the master.
No, Vince needs you. This guy's gonna ruin the film.
This meeting was not set up so that Walsh could approve Vince.
It was set up so Vince could approve Walsh, all right?
He picks up the phone, the guy's done.
He won't do it, he likes him. He digs his vibe.
- Yeah? Has he seen his movie? - No.
- Have you seen his movie? - No.
Do your fucking homework. You've got a screening room. Use it.
- Come on. - What, have you seen it?
No, I haven't. You think I'll stand in line in the snow in Utah wearing a beanie?
Maybe Vince will hate the movie, though.
(CHUCKLING)
I gotta go.
- What are you doing? - I'm going to the pool.
- Come on. - You said no business calls. We had a deal.
I'm ready to go here, all right?
It's like R. Kelly at recess.
Honey, what are you doing? Are you kidding me? Baby!
(CELL PHONE RINGING)
Hello?
The Advocate just called to confirm a rumor that in Vince's next movie...
he's gonna be jerking off some guy in the subway.
No, Shauna, the guy is touching him. And don't worry, he's not doing it.
Vince is on his way to becoming a major sex symbol. Don't fuck this up.
- Get him on screen with someone with tits. - Man!
When I was on Kimmel, we said the name of the place...
the guy gave us the whole system for nothing.
What do you mean, you were on Kimmel? Is that "X"?
- No, it's a TV show. - Do you have any "X"?
No, I don't have any "X." Why don't you girls have a seat?
Even if this movie is better than The Godfather...
you guys both tell Vince you hated it. What is this?
DRAMA: That's Sierra and this is Portia.
We pulled them out of Crazy Girls, bro. For free. How sweet is that?
Sweet.
(ERIC SIGHING)
Full house.
- Nice. - I bet this movie's gonna kick ass.
- Positivity. - All right, Turtle, fire it up.
Holy shit, that sucked!
- Fuck black and white. - Reminds me of Godard.
So, what did you think?
What'd you think?
I knew you were gonna hate it. You came into this with no other possibility.
I didn't hate it.
You didn't hate it?
You know, truthfully, I think this guy's a complete jerk-off.
- It was amazing, right? - He's a fucking genius.
Vince, you do this movie, they're gonna burn down Queens Boulevard.
Yeah, I'll keep that in mind. Johnny, run down the list again.
Will Smith, Six Degrees of Separation. Robin Williams, Birdcage.
Lucky Leo's gone gay two times: Basketball Diaries and Eclipse.
So has Pacino in Cruising and Dog Day Afternoon.
- Dustin Hoffman, Rain Man. - Rain Man was gay?
He wasn't gay, just retarded.
Either way, you play gay or retarded, you win an Oscar.
Guys, give me a second. I need some time to think.
What do you girls say we take this party up to the hot tub?
I'm really not in the mood for that tonight.
- What's the matter? You don't feel good? - I'm a little depressed.
I'm getting evicted. I'm late on my rent again.
- How much is rent? - $1,200.
I got your rent money right here. Let's go swimming, huh?
I thought you don't pay for sex.
I'm not paying for sex. I'm paying her rent, jerk-off.
(CHUCKLING) Yeah, right.
So?
I feel like he's gonna make a great movie.
So the only problem you have is that one scene?
Yeah, one fucking scene.
- I can't believe I fell off the wagon. - Come on, no regrets.
- Was she any good, at least? - She was great. She's coming back tonight.
I'm gonna have to borrow some money from Vince.
We're willing to respect your vision of the movie.
But we want final cut on the scene. It makes no sense to either of us.
But you shoot it, and maybe you'll change our mind.
No. Sorry, no deal.
- ERIC: Then Vince isn't doing it. - Vincent, I make movies a certain way.
You made one movie.
Look, Vince, you're the star.
Wick will throw me off before he loses you, so be it.
You're willing to throw this whole movie away over one point?
Yes, suit.
That's how much I care about my vision.
Good luck with it, Vincent. Seriously.
All right, fuck it. I'll do it.
- You'll do it? - I'll do it.
All right, do it. Don't fuck this up.
Vince.
The guy blowing you...
I'm gonna play that part. That way, you're in really good hands.
Don't worry, I've got a pretty solid acting background.
- You're fucking with me, aren't you? - I fucking had you, motherfucker!
Fucker!
- I don't get it. - It was a joke. He was joking the whole time.
- What, the scene's not in the movie? - No, it's not in the movie.
- It made no sense in the movie. - I knew it, God damn it.
Good fucking scene, though. I'm gonna use it somewhere else.
And it wasn't a joke, Vincent. It was a test.
I needed to make sure that you trusted me.
The only way this movie's gonna work is if we trust each other.
Yeah, I agree.
But you know what?
Now there's a bigger problem.
- What's that? - I can't trust you.
Come on.
No, you can give E. A hard time. That's cool.
You think you're gonna fuck with me, and I'm gonna sit back and do nothing?
You know what? Fuck you, motherfucker. You're fired.
- I'm a good actor, aren't I? - Fucking...
You fucking...
I'm so confused right now. What are you...
- A toast. I'll toast to that. - Yo, Johnny, Turtle.
We're making a movie.
No, Vince. I'm putting my foot down.
Don't worry, the scene's gone.
- Yeah? - VINCE: He's been fucking with us.
Cheers, baby!
To Vince not getting a blowjob from some dude.
DRAMA: Thank God.
- Billy, I gotta tell you, loved your movie. - Yeah, you told me that already, man.
- Yeah, but this time I actually saw it. - Did you actually love it?
Look, man, I just want to play the part of the bookie.
I know I could do a really good job.
A lying, conniving, two-faced prick. You're perfect for it.
- Thanks. - TURTLE: All right!
There it is!
Bookie.
Stand clear of the closing doors. Next stop, Queens Boulevard.
DRAMA: Cheers!
(BLUES MUSIC PLAYING)