1 00:00:06,757 --> 00:00:08,758 (theme music playing) 2 00:01:28,672 --> 00:01:30,965 (bangs) 3 00:01:33,260 --> 00:01:35,011 Vince. 4 00:01:35,179 --> 00:01:37,054 - Vince. - Mm, yeah? 5 00:01:37,222 --> 00:01:39,390 - I heard something. - What? 6 00:01:39,558 --> 00:01:41,976 I think someone's in the house. 7 00:01:44,521 --> 00:01:46,355 Really? 8 00:01:46,523 --> 00:01:48,983 - (bangs) - See? 9 00:01:49,151 --> 00:01:51,527 All right, I'll go check it out. 10 00:01:53,530 --> 00:01:54,906 Ahnold, want to come with? 11 00:01:56,408 --> 00:01:58,367 Thanks, pal. 12 00:02:02,039 --> 00:02:03,998 Hello? 13 00:02:07,711 --> 00:02:09,879 Turtle, is that you? 14 00:02:10,047 --> 00:02:12,840 Hello? 15 00:02:13,008 --> 00:02:15,384 (banging) 16 00:02:18,180 --> 00:02:20,556 Don't worry. It's just the wind. 17 00:02:23,268 --> 00:02:25,603 (clanging) 18 00:02:31,652 --> 00:02:33,236 Call 911. 19 00:02:37,616 --> 00:02:40,034 Turtle: Ahnold would have heard something. 20 00:02:40,202 --> 00:02:43,037 I'm telling you, he didn't flinch. Someone was definitely here. 21 00:02:43,205 --> 00:02:44,580 If he didn't bark, they weren't. 22 00:02:44,748 --> 00:02:46,707 Maybe the girl you were with set it up. 23 00:02:46,875 --> 00:02:49,627 - Set what up? - Fantasy rape scene perhaps. 24 00:02:49,795 --> 00:02:51,295 Is that what your girls do, Drama? 25 00:02:51,463 --> 00:02:54,090 - Tie you up and strap one on? - Don't be juvenile, E. 26 00:02:54,258 --> 00:02:55,675 - (phone ringing) - Oh, Christ. 27 00:02:55,843 --> 00:02:57,301 What is it? 28 00:02:57,469 --> 00:02:59,929 My half an agent. Yeah, Lloyd? 29 00:03:00,097 --> 00:03:01,973 Oh, Johnny Drama, what did you do? 30 00:03:02,140 --> 00:03:04,517 - It's not what I did. - You attacked a high-level studio exec. 31 00:03:04,685 --> 00:03:06,853 - Is that what they're saying? - Right now they're not saying anything 32 00:03:07,020 --> 00:03:08,729 except that you will not be needed on set today. 33 00:03:08,897 --> 00:03:10,815 - What? Why? - I assume it's because 34 00:03:10,983 --> 00:03:12,984 you attacked a high-level studio exec! 35 00:03:13,151 --> 00:03:14,777 So now what? Am I done? 36 00:03:14,945 --> 00:03:17,113 I don't know. I'll let you know when I hear more. 37 00:03:17,281 --> 00:03:19,991 Thanks, Lloyd. 38 00:03:21,869 --> 00:03:24,412 - They canceled my scenes today. - (all groan) 39 00:03:24,580 --> 00:03:27,081 He said he was gonna have me written off the show. I guess he's doing it. 40 00:03:27,249 --> 00:03:29,292 You're gonna have to go down there and apologize. 41 00:03:29,459 --> 00:03:31,836 Guy hits on my best friend's girlfriend and I'm supposed to apologize? 42 00:03:32,004 --> 00:03:33,296 You did grab him by the throat. 43 00:03:33,463 --> 00:03:35,548 He said he was gonna pound Meadow Soprano from behind. 44 00:03:35,716 --> 00:03:38,426 - You should've broken his fucking arm... - Vince: Turtle. 45 00:03:38,594 --> 00:03:39,969 Sorry. 46 00:03:40,137 --> 00:03:41,971 Drama, I appreciate everything you did, 47 00:03:42,139 --> 00:03:44,140 'cause I know you had the best intentions. 48 00:03:44,308 --> 00:03:46,517 Jamie does too. But this is yourjob. 49 00:03:46,685 --> 00:03:48,311 Yeah, Johnny, you live for this show. 50 00:03:48,478 --> 00:03:50,229 Just suck it up and go talk to him. 51 00:03:51,440 --> 00:03:53,357 Yeah. 52 00:03:53,525 --> 00:03:55,651 Should I bring a fruit basket or something? 53 00:03:55,819 --> 00:03:57,695 - No. - Maybe a massage certificate 54 00:03:57,863 --> 00:03:59,655 - from Burke Williams? - No. 55 00:03:59,823 --> 00:04:02,325 I'll just leave it up to me then. 56 00:04:02,492 --> 00:04:03,993 All right, I'm out. 57 00:04:04,161 --> 00:04:06,370 - Good luck. - See you, Drama. 58 00:04:06,538 --> 00:04:09,248 Hey, Vince, we found no sign of forced entry. 59 00:04:09,416 --> 00:04:12,001 And you guys say you can't find anything missing, right? 60 00:04:12,169 --> 00:04:14,378 No, but the living room door was open. 61 00:04:14,546 --> 00:04:17,256 - Any chance you could have left it open? - I don't think so. 62 00:04:17,424 --> 00:04:20,593 If someone was here, the good news is you're okay and nothing's been taken. 63 00:04:20,761 --> 00:04:23,971 If they come back, call us and we'll come back. 64 00:04:24,139 --> 00:04:26,015 All right. Thanks, Officers. I appreciate it. 65 00:04:26,183 --> 00:04:27,767 - Thanks for coming down. - Sorry, Vince. 66 00:04:27,935 --> 00:04:29,518 Somebody was here. 67 00:04:29,686 --> 00:04:31,771 Now that everyone's safe and sound I'm gonna head off to work. 68 00:04:31,939 --> 00:04:33,898 - Want us to roll with? - No. 69 00:04:34,066 --> 00:04:35,274 - Why not? - It's my first day. 70 00:04:35,442 --> 00:04:37,151 - I want to make a good impression. - What do you think people think 71 00:04:37,319 --> 00:04:39,153 - when they see us? - Call me if you want to have lunch. 72 00:04:39,321 --> 00:04:41,405 All right, hotshot. Enjoy. 73 00:04:42,866 --> 00:04:46,035 Mr. Vince, do you no have underwear for cleaning? 74 00:04:46,203 --> 00:04:47,995 Yeah, whatever's there, Maria. Thanks. 75 00:04:48,163 --> 00:04:49,664 No, it's not there. 76 00:04:49,831 --> 00:04:52,166 Is socks and shirts, but no underwear. 77 00:04:52,334 --> 00:04:54,710 I just dropped my dirty stuff down there last night. 78 00:04:54,878 --> 00:04:56,379 - Tons of underwear. - Yeah, me too. 79 00:04:56,546 --> 00:04:58,172 It's not there. 80 00:04:58,340 --> 00:05:00,341 I told you someone was here. 81 00:05:00,509 --> 00:05:02,927 What, you think someone broke in and stole our underwear? 82 00:05:03,095 --> 00:05:04,929 Uh-huh. 83 00:05:05,097 --> 00:05:06,722 Jesus. 84 00:05:08,850 --> 00:05:10,893 Murray: Before we jump in today we need to welcome 85 00:05:11,061 --> 00:05:13,562 our newest family member, Mr. Eric Murphy. 86 00:05:13,730 --> 00:05:15,606 Catch him up, show him around. 87 00:05:15,774 --> 00:05:18,985 I want him feeling like he's been here all his life by the end of the day. 88 00:05:19,152 --> 00:05:22,238 Eric Murphy. 89 00:05:22,406 --> 00:05:25,282 - Got you a cup of coffee, Mr. Murphy. - Thank you very much. 90 00:05:25,450 --> 00:05:28,285 And these just came from the front desk for you. 91 00:05:28,453 --> 00:05:30,413 Uh, I didn't order any pizza. 92 00:05:30,580 --> 00:05:33,916 Ari Gold sent them. The delivery guy said to tell you 93 00:05:34,084 --> 00:05:37,128 good luck and you're no longer a pizza boy, you're now a pizza man. 94 00:05:37,295 --> 00:05:38,838 - (all chuckle) - Cool. 95 00:05:39,006 --> 00:05:41,590 Okay, let's get to it. This is a signing meeting. 96 00:05:41,758 --> 00:05:43,426 So tell me who have we signed? 97 00:05:43,593 --> 00:05:45,970 I have Penelope Cruz, like, right there. 98 00:05:46,138 --> 00:05:48,222 Right there is not there. What else? 99 00:05:48,390 --> 00:05:50,683 - I signed Neil Elman. - Tell me about it. 100 00:05:50,851 --> 00:05:52,935 A hot young writer-director out of Sundance. 101 00:05:53,103 --> 00:05:56,230 - Has two specs ready to go. - When they sell we'll clap for you. 102 00:05:56,398 --> 00:05:58,232 On the comedy front, 103 00:05:58,400 --> 00:06:00,192 Chris Rock is doing a new tour, 104 00:06:00,360 --> 00:06:03,070 so you can applaud me for saving your asses. 105 00:06:03,238 --> 00:06:04,989 Silently. 106 00:06:05,157 --> 00:06:09,326 But why is Bob Saget making 50 grand a night 107 00:06:09,494 --> 00:06:11,120 and we're making dick? 108 00:06:11,288 --> 00:06:13,622 I've called him 20 times. He won't return my calls. 109 00:06:13,790 --> 00:06:14,999 You've called him, Scott? 110 00:06:15,167 --> 00:06:17,877 Everyone, let's give Scott Lavin here 111 00:06:18,045 --> 00:06:20,755 a big morning clap 'cause he called Bob Saget. 112 00:06:20,922 --> 00:06:25,134 Hi, Bob Saget, this is Scott. Please call me back. 113 00:06:25,302 --> 00:06:26,802 I don't think he wants a manager. 114 00:06:26,970 --> 00:06:29,972 Nobody wants a manager. Convince him that he needs one. 115 00:06:30,140 --> 00:06:32,475 I would love to, but he won't return my calls. 116 00:06:32,642 --> 00:06:35,811 - Stake-out his fucking house. - You know, I used to live next door to Bob. 117 00:06:35,979 --> 00:06:38,022 I know him a little bit. I can call him. 118 00:06:38,190 --> 00:06:40,524 So let it be said, let it be done. 119 00:06:44,279 --> 00:06:46,530 Take care. It's nice to meet you too. Hey, Britney. 120 00:06:46,698 --> 00:06:48,074 - You need anything? - Actually, I needed 121 00:06:48,241 --> 00:06:50,951 - to send Ari Gold something. - Sure, no problem. What is it? 122 00:06:51,119 --> 00:06:53,245 Maybe there is a guy in the mailroom that could help me with this. 123 00:06:53,413 --> 00:06:55,206 Eric, don't worry about it. I'm like one of the guys. 124 00:06:55,373 --> 00:06:57,958 I've only been working for you for two hours and the pizza thing pissed me off. 125 00:06:58,126 --> 00:06:59,835 - Just let me know what I can do. - Okay. 126 00:07:00,003 --> 00:07:01,796 - Murphy Group! - What? 127 00:07:01,963 --> 00:07:03,547 Murphy Group. 128 00:07:03,715 --> 00:07:05,674 Sexy, can I talk to your man alone for a beat? 129 00:07:05,842 --> 00:07:08,344 Sure, douchebag. Told you I was one of the guys. 130 00:07:08,512 --> 00:07:10,304 - I'll be in your office. - Okay. 131 00:07:10,472 --> 00:07:12,348 What's up? 132 00:07:12,516 --> 00:07:15,017 So is this the whole Group? 133 00:07:15,185 --> 00:07:17,228 - What do you mean? - Murray said we were 134 00:07:17,395 --> 00:07:19,855 absorbing the Murphy Group. So I was expecting at least a trifecta. 135 00:07:20,023 --> 00:07:22,566 - It's just me. - It's a weird fucking name then, isn't it? 136 00:07:22,734 --> 00:07:24,401 What's up, Scotty? You seem a little tweaked. 137 00:07:24,569 --> 00:07:27,196 Yeah, well, I've been working two things the last month. 138 00:07:27,364 --> 00:07:29,698 Bob Saget when the sun's up 139 00:07:29,866 --> 00:07:31,575 and the Olsen twins when the sun's down. 140 00:07:31,743 --> 00:07:34,328 So I do not need you waltzing in here, jumping on what's mine. 141 00:07:34,496 --> 00:07:37,957 - I was just trying to help, all right? - But you didn't help, you see? 142 00:07:38,125 --> 00:07:41,377 Yeah well, Murray said that this whole place is kind of like a team thing. 143 00:07:41,545 --> 00:07:43,879 Yeah, it is. And like any team 144 00:07:44,047 --> 00:07:46,215 you got LeBron James who makes $120 million. 145 00:07:46,383 --> 00:07:48,217 Then you got a jerkoff who's on a 10-day contract. 146 00:07:48,385 --> 00:07:50,386 Whichever one of those you think you're gonna be, 147 00:07:50,554 --> 00:07:52,054 neither steals the ball from the other. 148 00:07:52,222 --> 00:07:53,556 Why don't we just call Bob together? 149 00:07:53,723 --> 00:07:55,641 'Cause I don't want to call Bob together, all right? 150 00:07:55,809 --> 00:07:57,893 I want to sign Bob alone and I will. 151 00:07:58,061 --> 00:08:00,229 Got a trash can? Thanks. 152 00:08:08,572 --> 00:08:10,114 Yo, Lawrence. What's up, kid? 153 00:08:10,282 --> 00:08:12,616 - Hey, Drama, how you doing? - How do I look? 154 00:08:12,784 --> 00:08:14,368 You look okay, I guess. 155 00:08:14,536 --> 00:08:16,078 Want to roll up this gate? 156 00:08:16,246 --> 00:08:18,622 - Afraid I can't do that. - Why not? 157 00:08:18,790 --> 00:08:21,375 - You're on the list. - What list? 158 00:08:21,543 --> 00:08:23,544 The banned- from-the-lot list. 159 00:08:23,712 --> 00:08:25,796 That's why your picture is right there. 160 00:08:27,632 --> 00:08:29,466 Well, my picture is also right there. 161 00:08:29,634 --> 00:08:31,510 - How do you explain that? - Can't. 162 00:08:31,678 --> 00:08:33,679 But the message came from Dan Coakley himself, 163 00:08:33,847 --> 00:08:36,432 so I'm assuming whatever you did was real bad. 164 00:08:38,977 --> 00:08:40,936 Will you please get Dan Coakley on the phone? 165 00:08:41,104 --> 00:08:43,439 Sure. 166 00:08:43,607 --> 00:08:45,191 Stop calling the office, John. 167 00:08:45,358 --> 00:08:47,943 Stop lurking outside and stop trying to push me. 168 00:08:48,111 --> 00:08:49,778 Please just let me in so we can talk. 169 00:08:49,946 --> 00:08:51,947 - What's to talk about? - I'd like to apologize. 170 00:08:52,115 --> 00:08:53,824 - (honking) - I'm not interested in an apology. 171 00:08:53,992 --> 00:08:55,993 Come on, Dan. We had words. Men do that. 172 00:08:56,161 --> 00:08:57,745 You put your hands around my throat. 173 00:08:57,913 --> 00:08:59,622 Men sometimes do that also. 174 00:08:59,789 --> 00:09:01,790 Look, you said some pretty awful things. 175 00:09:01,958 --> 00:09:03,626 Oh, so you're not really apologizing, 176 00:09:03,793 --> 00:09:05,794 you're just making excuses for attacking me. 177 00:09:05,962 --> 00:09:07,630 - No, I just... - So if I was to tell you 178 00:09:07,797 --> 00:09:10,090 that Meadow Soprano blew me last night, 179 00:09:10,258 --> 00:09:12,343 - you might just go and attack me again. - Dan... 180 00:09:12,510 --> 00:09:15,137 The fact is she's here right now sucking on my dick, John. 181 00:09:15,305 --> 00:09:17,973 All right, that's enough. All right? I'm trying here. 182 00:09:18,141 --> 00:09:20,768 Try harder, John, 'cause she is about to swallow my balls 183 00:09:20,936 --> 00:09:22,436 while I dive into her pussy. 184 00:09:22,604 --> 00:09:24,146 That's it, you're a dead man, Coakley. 185 00:09:24,314 --> 00:09:25,981 Do you hear me? You're a fucking dead man! 186 00:09:26,149 --> 00:09:27,608 I'm gonna rip your fucking scalp off! 187 00:09:27,776 --> 00:09:30,986 - (phone clicks) - Hello? 188 00:09:31,154 --> 00:09:33,489 (horns honking) 189 00:09:33,657 --> 00:09:36,700 Did Mr. Coakley say you can go on? 190 00:09:36,868 --> 00:09:40,871 Vince, as proud as I am that you've reached stalker status, 191 00:09:41,039 --> 00:09:43,832 you can't play around. These are sick individuals. 192 00:09:44,000 --> 00:09:45,876 We have an alarm. I'll learn to turn it on. 193 00:09:46,044 --> 00:09:47,544 You need to call my security guy. 194 00:09:47,712 --> 00:09:49,046 This guy is the best. 195 00:09:49,214 --> 00:09:52,132 I had a problem neighbor. Couldn't trust him for shit. 196 00:09:52,300 --> 00:09:54,009 When this guy was done arming my house, 197 00:09:54,177 --> 00:09:55,719 it was as secure as Air Force One. 198 00:09:55,887 --> 00:09:58,013 I didn't realize you were such a pussy, Ari. 199 00:09:58,181 --> 00:10:01,433 I didn't realize your attack dog was as worthless as you, Turtle. 200 00:10:01,601 --> 00:10:04,353 He's not. I think he's going deaf. 201 00:10:04,521 --> 00:10:07,898 Watch, Vin. Ahnold. Ahnold. 202 00:10:08,066 --> 00:10:09,233 See? 203 00:10:11,736 --> 00:10:14,029 - He's not deaf, he's stoned. - Are we done here, Ari? 204 00:10:14,197 --> 00:10:17,199 We are not done, all right? You need to take this really seriously. 205 00:10:17,367 --> 00:10:21,120 Somebody broke in here, went to your laundry room, stole your underwear. 206 00:10:21,288 --> 00:10:23,622 Do I need to paint you a picture of what goes through the mind 207 00:10:23,790 --> 00:10:25,457 - of someone like that? - No, please, don't. 208 00:10:25,625 --> 00:10:28,961 - Call my guy. - Forget that. Let's just go get a gun. 209 00:10:29,129 --> 00:10:30,546 - Don't get a gun. - Why not? 210 00:10:30,714 --> 00:10:33,173 It's not gonna be a great story if Turtle shoots you in the face. 211 00:10:33,341 --> 00:10:35,634 - I'm a good shot, Ari. - Are you? 212 00:10:35,802 --> 00:10:38,178 I think I would be. I'm a good free-throw shooter. 213 00:10:38,346 --> 00:10:40,055 Vince, I thought you were maturing. 214 00:10:40,223 --> 00:10:41,765 All this work and you're not listening. 215 00:10:41,933 --> 00:10:43,892 You're gonna let this guy be the first line of defense 216 00:10:44,060 --> 00:10:46,937 - against some boxer-stealing serial killer? - She could be a hot fan. 217 00:10:47,105 --> 00:10:49,773 More likely he's a creepy little pale obsessive freak. 218 00:10:49,941 --> 00:10:51,525 - God. - Speaking of which, 219 00:10:51,693 --> 00:10:53,402 where's E? He got an alibi? 220 00:10:59,075 --> 00:11:01,368 A Sloan McQuewick calling for you. 221 00:11:01,536 --> 00:11:04,747 Wow, tell her I'm in a meeting. Tell her I'll call you back. I mean, I'll call her back. 222 00:11:04,914 --> 00:11:06,373 - You know what? I'll take it. - What? 223 00:11:06,541 --> 00:11:09,126 Yeah, just put her through. 224 00:11:09,294 --> 00:11:11,754 Guess I should learn how to pronounce this one's name, huh? 225 00:11:11,921 --> 00:11:14,131 - Got a minute, babe? - He's got an important call. 226 00:11:14,299 --> 00:11:16,717 Actually, this is equally important... doubly important. 227 00:11:16,885 --> 00:11:18,969 - That's okay, Britney. I'll call back. - Okay. 228 00:11:19,137 --> 00:11:21,597 - Just take a message. - Hey, what's up? 229 00:11:21,765 --> 00:11:23,932 I got Bob Saget to agree to come in. 230 00:11:24,100 --> 00:11:25,601 - Oh yeah? That's great. - Yeah. 231 00:11:25,769 --> 00:11:28,062 - How'd you do that? - Dropped your name. 232 00:11:28,229 --> 00:11:30,522 - Cool. I'm glad I could help. - He wants you in the meeting. 233 00:11:30,690 --> 00:11:32,441 - Okay. - We're gonna do it in my office. 234 00:11:32,609 --> 00:11:34,401 - Okay. - Okay. 235 00:11:34,569 --> 00:11:37,279 Look, Eric, I don't know what you guys have together. 236 00:11:37,447 --> 00:11:39,198 You're friends, you're neighbors, 237 00:11:39,366 --> 00:11:41,825 you used his prick as a whistle... whatever it is, he's mine. 238 00:11:41,993 --> 00:11:43,994 - Okay, we clear? He's mine. - Yeah. 239 00:11:44,162 --> 00:11:45,621 All right. Good. 240 00:11:49,292 --> 00:11:51,960 - Calm down, Johnny. - Don't tell me to calm down. 241 00:11:52,128 --> 00:11:54,296 I tried apologizing to this guy 242 00:11:54,464 --> 00:11:56,173 when the fact is he should be apologizing to me. 243 00:11:56,341 --> 00:11:58,550 - You attacked him. - Do you know what he said? 244 00:11:58,718 --> 00:12:01,345 I know he's saying he said nothing and that you're crazy. 245 00:12:01,513 --> 00:12:03,972 Everyone knows what kind of guy he is. I want to take this to the top. 246 00:12:04,140 --> 00:12:05,599 All you have is your word against his. 247 00:12:05,767 --> 00:12:08,185 Then I'll find someone who can back up my words. 248 00:12:12,065 --> 00:12:13,190 Uh, what is that? 249 00:12:13,358 --> 00:12:15,359 It's for Ari from Eric Murphy. 250 00:12:15,527 --> 00:12:18,153 "Suck it." 251 00:12:18,321 --> 00:12:20,114 That is not what this is for. 252 00:12:22,992 --> 00:12:24,827 I think there's someone in the tree. 253 00:12:24,994 --> 00:12:26,537 Stop. You're stoned. 254 00:12:26,704 --> 00:12:28,664 I may be, but I'm not kidding. Come look. 255 00:12:32,502 --> 00:12:34,545 - Where? - There. 256 00:12:34,712 --> 00:12:37,172 - It's a bird. - No, there. 257 00:12:37,340 --> 00:12:39,716 - That is a squirrel. - That's not where I'm looking. 258 00:12:39,884 --> 00:12:42,886 I'm looking through the tree past that shrub right behind the car. 259 00:12:43,054 --> 00:12:45,097 I should never have let Jamie take Ahnold. 260 00:12:45,265 --> 00:12:46,598 You're crazy. 261 00:12:46,766 --> 00:12:49,017 - I don't feel safe. - There is nothing there. 262 00:12:49,185 --> 00:12:51,019 We should go out there. 263 00:12:51,187 --> 00:12:54,481 No, stop it. I'm not gonna let you or Ari make me paranoid. 264 00:12:54,649 --> 00:12:56,358 - Oh! - Oh, Jesus! 265 00:12:58,236 --> 00:13:00,154 Turtle: It's just Temo. 266 00:13:02,532 --> 00:13:05,367 Okay, now I am a bit freaked. 267 00:13:05,535 --> 00:13:06,869 Yeah. 268 00:13:07,036 --> 00:13:09,204 (coughs) 269 00:13:09,372 --> 00:13:11,915 Bob, what you do not know about me 270 00:13:12,083 --> 00:13:14,042 is that I am 24/7. 271 00:13:14,210 --> 00:13:17,379 That is my middle fucking name: Scotty 24/7 Lavin. 272 00:13:17,547 --> 00:13:20,424 What that means is that every time you turn around 273 00:13:20,592 --> 00:13:24,219 anywhere, anytime, you will be looking at this. 274 00:13:24,387 --> 00:13:26,555 That's just great, Scotty. That's just what I want to be looking at 275 00:13:26,723 --> 00:13:28,724 while I'm sniffing a line of blow off her ass... your fucking face. 276 00:13:28,892 --> 00:13:31,894 That really completes the image. You believe that, Scotty? 277 00:13:32,061 --> 00:13:34,396 'Cause if you believe that, you'd believe the commission check is in the mail too. 278 00:13:34,564 --> 00:13:35,856 I understand and you're reluctant. 279 00:13:36,024 --> 00:13:37,232 But I want you to know that I swear to God 280 00:13:37,400 --> 00:13:39,109 on my mother, I will kill for you. 281 00:13:39,277 --> 00:13:40,527 - You will? - Yes. 282 00:13:40,695 --> 00:13:42,362 - What if I kill? - What do you mean? 283 00:13:42,530 --> 00:13:44,656 I mean, what if I kill somebody late at night 284 00:13:44,824 --> 00:13:47,618 and I call you up and I go, "Hey, 24/7, I'm fucked. 285 00:13:47,785 --> 00:13:49,953 I just killed a guy at some crack den in the hood." 286 00:13:50,121 --> 00:13:52,748 Would you come down there in your silver 750 and pick me up 287 00:13:52,916 --> 00:13:55,375 and help me chop up the body and dispose of it and then take me home 288 00:13:55,543 --> 00:13:58,295 and bathe me and then tuck me in? Would you do all that for me, Scotty? 289 00:13:58,463 --> 00:14:01,757 Because I would do that for me to keep 10% of the money that I make. 290 00:14:01,925 --> 00:14:04,343 - Bob... - Shh shh, we're done now, Scotty. 291 00:14:04,511 --> 00:14:06,136 I'm gonna talk to E. 292 00:14:06,304 --> 00:14:08,555 - So what's up, E? - How are you, Bob? 293 00:14:08,723 --> 00:14:11,225 I'm almost as good as she looks but not nearly as good as she tastes. 294 00:14:11,392 --> 00:14:13,977 - Oh, you're so sweet, Bob. - (chuckles) 295 00:14:14,145 --> 00:14:16,522 - So who's Vince fucking? - No one specific. 296 00:14:16,689 --> 00:14:17,856 Oh come on, don't hold out on me. 297 00:14:18,024 --> 00:14:19,441 You know, he just... he's having fun. 298 00:14:19,609 --> 00:14:21,944 - Did he do Milano in the tail? - What? No. 299 00:14:22,111 --> 00:14:23,779 I saw her coming out of the house one night. 300 00:14:23,947 --> 00:14:26,114 - She was with Drama. - I used to live next door to these guys. 301 00:14:26,282 --> 00:14:29,076 The puss that rolled in and out of there made my house look like a monastery. 302 00:14:29,244 --> 00:14:31,870 - (laughs) - That's great. 303 00:14:32,038 --> 00:14:34,748 - Can we get back to this? - Actually, no, Scotty, we can't. 304 00:14:34,916 --> 00:14:38,085 Not with you here. Because you make me un-fucking-comfortable. 305 00:14:38,253 --> 00:14:39,878 I'm just gonna talk to E now. Would you leave? 306 00:14:40,046 --> 00:14:42,464 - This is my office. - We're not gonna stain anything. 307 00:14:42,632 --> 00:14:44,424 Don't worry about it. 308 00:14:45,802 --> 00:14:47,135 Okay. 309 00:14:51,933 --> 00:14:53,809 I don't like that guy. Do you like that guy? 310 00:14:53,977 --> 00:14:56,979 - No, he's creepy. - He's just trying to take care of you, Bob. 311 00:14:57,146 --> 00:15:00,023 I don't get taken care of by dudes. Hey, I get it. 312 00:15:00,191 --> 00:15:02,526 Murray wants me on his roster. 313 00:15:02,694 --> 00:15:05,487 I make so much money that it ain't gonna mean nothing to give him a commission. 314 00:15:05,655 --> 00:15:07,656 But I want something in return. 315 00:15:07,824 --> 00:15:08,991 What is it? 316 00:15:09,158 --> 00:15:10,993 Don't think I'm weird when I tell you this. 317 00:15:11,160 --> 00:15:13,036 - Anything, Bob. - Promise you won't call me weird? 318 00:15:13,204 --> 00:15:14,997 Just say it, Bob. I won't call you weird. 319 00:15:15,164 --> 00:15:17,124 I want to have sex in Murray's office. 320 00:15:17,292 --> 00:15:18,959 - What? - Yeah. 321 00:15:19,127 --> 00:15:22,629 I want to fuck her in Murray's office. 322 00:15:24,507 --> 00:15:27,718 (laughs) I get it, Bob. 323 00:15:27,885 --> 00:15:29,886 - I'm sorry if we wasted... - No, I'm serious. 324 00:15:30,054 --> 00:15:32,055 I'm not weird, I'm pragmatic. 325 00:15:32,223 --> 00:15:33,807 This would be great for my memoirs. 326 00:15:33,975 --> 00:15:35,851 Murray Berenson, the guy's a legend. Fucking on his couch? 327 00:15:36,019 --> 00:15:37,311 - Come on. - You serious, Bob? 328 00:15:37,478 --> 00:15:39,062 Do I ever tease when I'm talking about fucking, baby? 329 00:15:39,230 --> 00:15:40,856 - No. - No. 330 00:15:41,024 --> 00:15:43,233 I'm serious. I'm not weird. 331 00:15:43,401 --> 00:15:45,902 Think about it. 332 00:15:46,070 --> 00:15:48,572 Okay, Bob. 333 00:15:48,740 --> 00:15:50,699 Thanks for taking the time to see me. 334 00:15:50,867 --> 00:15:53,160 Of course. Turtle told me you were freaking out. 335 00:15:53,328 --> 00:15:55,203 But I'm not sure what I can do. 336 00:15:55,371 --> 00:15:58,707 Just speak the truth and I'll have my lawyer write everything down. 337 00:15:58,875 --> 00:16:00,709 Johnny, the truth is 338 00:16:00,877 --> 00:16:03,045 Dan Coakley didn't say anything inappropriate to me. 339 00:16:03,212 --> 00:16:05,088 - He was all about business. - Impossible. 340 00:16:05,256 --> 00:16:06,965 He's got a pilot he wants me to do. 341 00:16:07,133 --> 00:16:08,467 He wants to do you, Jamie. 342 00:16:08,635 --> 00:16:10,010 - Wake up. - Drama! 343 00:16:10,178 --> 00:16:12,554 I'm not saying he doesn't want you to do the pilot also. 344 00:16:12,722 --> 00:16:14,598 - But do you know what he said to me? - I do. 345 00:16:14,766 --> 00:16:17,309 And I so appreciate you sticking up for me. 346 00:16:17,477 --> 00:16:20,020 But he didn't say any of those things to me. 347 00:16:20,188 --> 00:16:23,065 - He's trying to lure you in. - Well, that won't happen. 348 00:16:23,232 --> 00:16:25,359 Maybe you can lure him in. 349 00:16:25,526 --> 00:16:27,903 - What do you mean? - Go visit him. 350 00:16:28,071 --> 00:16:30,155 Wear something sexy, smell nice. 351 00:16:30,323 --> 00:16:32,074 Get him a little excited maybe. 352 00:16:32,241 --> 00:16:34,159 - Maybe wear a wire? - Would you? 353 00:16:34,327 --> 00:16:35,911 No. 354 00:16:36,079 --> 00:16:38,413 Johnny, I know the spot you're in, 355 00:16:38,581 --> 00:16:41,124 and I feel so bad because I was involved in causing it, 356 00:16:41,292 --> 00:16:43,627 but he really didn't do anything to me. 357 00:16:43,795 --> 00:16:45,462 I'm really sorry. 358 00:16:45,630 --> 00:16:48,048 I understand. 359 00:16:48,216 --> 00:16:49,883 What are you gonna do? 360 00:16:50,051 --> 00:16:52,761 I don't know. 361 00:16:54,847 --> 00:16:56,682 You don't have to feel bad. It's not your fault. 362 00:16:56,849 --> 00:16:58,600 Jamie: I know, but I do feel bad. 363 00:16:58,768 --> 00:17:01,186 - That's because you're a good person. - I try to be. 364 00:17:01,354 --> 00:17:04,106 Drama's got his demons. He's got to work them out, unfortunately. 365 00:17:04,273 --> 00:17:06,191 - How's my boy? - He's good. 366 00:17:06,359 --> 00:17:08,777 He's trying to drive. What are you guys doing? 367 00:17:08,945 --> 00:17:10,278 Me and Vince are looking for guns. 368 00:17:10,446 --> 00:17:12,989 - For what? - For protection, what else? 369 00:17:13,157 --> 00:17:16,076 Turtle, you will end up like Plaxico shooting yourself. 370 00:17:16,244 --> 00:17:17,994 Why does nobody think I can handle a gun? 371 00:17:18,162 --> 00:17:20,288 'Cause you're not that type of guy. 372 00:17:20,456 --> 00:17:22,165 You don't really know the tough guy roots from whence I came. 373 00:17:22,333 --> 00:17:24,334 - Tell her, Vin. - He's a killer, Jamie. 374 00:17:24,502 --> 00:17:25,669 - You hear that? - I did. 375 00:17:25,837 --> 00:17:28,505 But try not to kill yourself or Vince, please. 376 00:17:28,673 --> 00:17:30,924 I promise I won't. I'll call you later, okay? 377 00:17:31,092 --> 00:17:32,968 - Bye. - Bye. 378 00:17:33,136 --> 00:17:35,762 - She's worried. - I don't see why. 379 00:17:37,390 --> 00:17:39,808 - Sir, we'll take a whole bunch of these. - Good choice. 380 00:17:39,976 --> 00:17:42,519 So what do you do, just brown paper bag it and we're off? 381 00:17:42,687 --> 00:17:45,147 Unfortunately we've got a 10-day waiting period in California. 382 00:17:45,314 --> 00:17:47,691 10 days? We got to protect ourselves now. 383 00:17:47,859 --> 00:17:49,443 Call your government. 384 00:17:49,610 --> 00:17:52,320 - What can we get to tide ourselves over? - You like knives? 385 00:17:56,993 --> 00:17:58,827 - You are fucking with me. - I'm not. 386 00:17:58,995 --> 00:18:00,746 You're trying to put me in a bad spot. 387 00:18:00,913 --> 00:18:03,331 You make me look bad here, Eric, I don't know what I'm gonna do. 388 00:18:03,499 --> 00:18:06,209 Scotty, look, I've been here four hours. You want to fight me? 389 00:18:06,377 --> 00:18:08,086 You want to rep Bob Saget, he's all yours. 390 00:18:08,254 --> 00:18:10,589 I'm trying to explain to you exactly what it is you're dealing with. 391 00:18:10,757 --> 00:18:13,633 I understand that. And I'm trying to explain to you that I'm not buying it. 392 00:18:13,801 --> 00:18:15,552 - Scotty. - What? 393 00:18:15,720 --> 00:18:17,220 I teed this one up for you, all right? 394 00:18:17,388 --> 00:18:19,806 All you got to do is sell Murray on it and the credit's all yours. 395 00:18:19,974 --> 00:18:22,058 I get it. All I got to do is tell Murray Berenson 396 00:18:22,226 --> 00:18:24,060 that Bob Saget wants to fuck in his office. 397 00:18:24,228 --> 00:18:26,605 I don't believe it and I'm just not gonna do it. 398 00:18:28,149 --> 00:18:29,941 Then I will. 399 00:18:34,197 --> 00:18:37,616 - What are you doing, Drama? - Lawrence, I'm desperate. 400 00:18:37,784 --> 00:18:39,576 You've known me three years. You know I'm a good guy. 401 00:18:39,744 --> 00:18:41,745 You know I take my job very seriously. 402 00:18:41,913 --> 00:18:44,206 And you know there's no way I can let you on that lot. 403 00:18:44,373 --> 00:18:46,249 See this gift basket over here? It's yours if you do. 404 00:18:46,417 --> 00:18:49,503 Come on, man, what's it got, fruit or some bullshit in there? 405 00:18:49,670 --> 00:18:52,255 Three different iPods, cherry-infused Godiva chocolates, 406 00:18:52,423 --> 00:18:54,174 Peter Thomas Roth wrinkle peel pads, 407 00:18:54,342 --> 00:18:56,551 - cookies from DeLuscious... - Cookies? 408 00:18:56,719 --> 00:18:58,053 Chocolate chip? 409 00:18:58,221 --> 00:19:00,472 Sprinkles cupcakes too. 410 00:19:02,350 --> 00:19:04,935 All right, go on. Tell 'em you went through gate 4 if you're caught. 411 00:19:05,102 --> 00:19:07,062 You got it. 412 00:19:16,489 --> 00:19:18,198 Dan Coakley's office. 413 00:19:18,366 --> 00:19:21,743 Mr. Chase! Mr. Chase, you can't go in there! 414 00:19:23,746 --> 00:19:25,956 Gorgeous, I've got to go. 415 00:19:26,123 --> 00:19:27,749 Dan. 416 00:19:27,917 --> 00:19:30,293 Wow, you really want to destroy your life, huh? 417 00:19:30,461 --> 00:19:32,420 No no no no. I came here 418 00:19:32,588 --> 00:19:34,506 to offer a real apology. 419 00:19:34,674 --> 00:19:37,676 This morning you were right. I was insincere. 420 00:19:37,844 --> 00:19:40,929 I was making excuses for my actions. 421 00:19:41,097 --> 00:19:45,350 See, Dan, I have impulse control issues 422 00:19:45,518 --> 00:19:47,727 topped with anger management problems 423 00:19:47,895 --> 00:19:49,771 mixed in with desperate insecurities. 424 00:19:49,939 --> 00:19:53,275 Constantly I feel the need to overcompensate. 425 00:19:53,442 --> 00:19:56,570 I don't know if it's because I felt Ma loved my brother more than me 426 00:19:56,737 --> 00:19:59,155 or because my father started calling me a pussy at age three. 427 00:19:59,323 --> 00:20:01,241 But here I am exposed to you 428 00:20:01,409 --> 00:20:04,244 offering you my sincere, most heartfelt apologies. 429 00:20:04,412 --> 00:20:06,413 I just... you know, when you said those things 430 00:20:06,581 --> 00:20:09,291 that you said about my buddy's girlfriend, I, uh... 431 00:20:09,458 --> 00:20:12,794 you know what you said. Right? I mean... 432 00:20:12,962 --> 00:20:15,297 Tell me again what you said, Dan. 433 00:20:15,464 --> 00:20:18,174 It's cool. I won't get mad this time. 434 00:20:18,342 --> 00:20:20,677 You can tell me. Tell me again what you said. 435 00:20:20,845 --> 00:20:22,721 What are you doing, John? 436 00:20:22,889 --> 00:20:24,347 What? 437 00:20:24,515 --> 00:20:26,308 What, are you... 438 00:20:26,475 --> 00:20:29,936 - are you recording this or something? - What? 439 00:20:30,104 --> 00:20:32,522 I've produced enough bad cop shows to know when somebody's wearing a wire. 440 00:20:32,690 --> 00:20:33,815 (laughs) Dan. 441 00:20:33,983 --> 00:20:36,109 (laughs) What's in your pocket? 442 00:20:36,277 --> 00:20:37,861 - Nothing. - I see something. 443 00:20:38,029 --> 00:20:40,697 - That's my cell phone. - Take it out. 444 00:20:40,865 --> 00:20:44,326 - Dan... - John, take it out. 445 00:20:44,493 --> 00:20:46,703 - Dan. - John. 446 00:20:54,545 --> 00:20:57,797 Don't fire me. Please please, this job is everything to me. 447 00:20:57,965 --> 00:21:00,717 It's all I got. I've worked 18 years to get to this position. 448 00:21:00,885 --> 00:21:02,719 I know I got problems. I know it. 449 00:21:02,887 --> 00:21:05,472 I'll work on it. I'll paint your house. 450 00:21:05,640 --> 00:21:08,016 I'll wash your car. Please, Dan, I'm at your mercy. 451 00:21:08,184 --> 00:21:10,518 - Please! - Ah! Get up. 452 00:21:14,774 --> 00:21:17,359 - I'm not gonna fire you. - You're not? 453 00:21:17,526 --> 00:21:19,152 You got a stay of execution from Eddie Burns. 454 00:21:19,320 --> 00:21:20,695 Really? 455 00:21:20,863 --> 00:21:22,572 Plus, I kind of figured that if I do fire you 456 00:21:22,740 --> 00:21:24,658 you might actually find a job somewhere else. 457 00:21:24,825 --> 00:21:27,827 - So what does this mean? - It means I'm going to torture you. 458 00:21:27,995 --> 00:21:31,247 - How? - Tune in next week. 459 00:21:34,085 --> 00:21:36,002 So, day one, how's it going? 460 00:21:36,170 --> 00:21:38,213 Really good so far. I really like the energy of the place. 461 00:21:38,381 --> 00:21:40,799 - That's good. - Plus I've been alone in my office so long 462 00:21:40,967 --> 00:21:43,593 it's nice to feel like a real person, have people to talk to about things. 463 00:21:43,761 --> 00:21:46,596 Yeah, it's a great team. What did you want to talk to me about? 464 00:21:46,764 --> 00:21:48,014 - Bob Saget. - What about him? 465 00:21:48,182 --> 00:21:49,724 Well, we had a meeting. 466 00:21:49,892 --> 00:21:51,559 On day one? I love it. How'd it go? 467 00:21:51,727 --> 00:21:53,812 Well, do you know Bob at all? 468 00:21:53,980 --> 00:21:55,230 No. Did you close him? 469 00:21:55,398 --> 00:21:57,732 No, we're right there, but do we really want him? 470 00:21:57,900 --> 00:21:59,401 He's a big earner. Why wouldn't we? 471 00:21:59,568 --> 00:22:01,277 Well, he's strange. 472 00:22:01,445 --> 00:22:04,280 Who isn't in this town? Talk to me, Eric. 473 00:22:04,448 --> 00:22:06,074 This is really uncomfortable. 474 00:22:06,242 --> 00:22:08,076 It shouldn't be. 475 00:22:08,244 --> 00:22:10,161 Okay, uh... 476 00:22:11,872 --> 00:22:14,457 Bob Saget would like to have sex in your office. 477 00:22:14,625 --> 00:22:16,876 - What? - He said it'd be good for his memoirs. 478 00:22:17,044 --> 00:22:18,837 And he'll sign with us if we'll... 479 00:22:19,005 --> 00:22:21,214 or if you'll... let him. 480 00:22:21,382 --> 00:22:24,092 Are you asking me if Bob Saget can fuck in my office? 481 00:22:24,260 --> 00:22:26,261 I'm just repeating the information. 482 00:22:26,429 --> 00:22:28,430 Maybe I made a mistake with you. 483 00:22:28,597 --> 00:22:29,681 No! 484 00:22:29,849 --> 00:22:32,267 This isn't a whorehouse, Eric. This is my office. 485 00:22:32,435 --> 00:22:35,603 I built my business sitting right here at this desk. 486 00:22:35,771 --> 00:22:39,149 And you want to have Bob Saget defile it. 487 00:22:40,443 --> 00:22:42,360 No, look, I just... you wanted Bob Saget 488 00:22:42,528 --> 00:22:44,487 and this is what he asked for. 489 00:22:45,948 --> 00:22:47,657 (laughs) Jesus, Eric. 490 00:22:47,825 --> 00:22:49,909 You really make a fuckface when you're scared. 491 00:22:50,077 --> 00:22:53,079 - What? - Bring him in. I don't give a shit. 492 00:22:53,247 --> 00:22:55,415 My ex-wife decorated this place anyway. 493 00:22:55,583 --> 00:22:58,835 - Really? - Just get a cleaning crew in here after. 494 00:22:59,003 --> 00:23:00,378 Okay. 495 00:23:00,546 --> 00:23:02,797 - Good first day? - Real good. 496 00:23:02,965 --> 00:23:05,842 Great. Maybe tomorrow you go get Christian Bale. 497 00:23:06,010 --> 00:23:08,928 We'll let him execute a cinematographer if he wants. 498 00:23:09,096 --> 00:23:11,473 - See you later. - (laughing) 499 00:23:12,850 --> 00:23:14,726 At least you still have yourjob. 500 00:23:14,894 --> 00:23:17,395 Yeah, but I just can't imagine what this guy's planning. 501 00:23:17,563 --> 00:23:19,814 Johnny, just give it a couple of weeks. I'm sure it'll subside. 502 00:23:19,982 --> 00:23:22,150 Whatever. I'll be fine. Right now 503 00:23:22,318 --> 00:23:24,819 - I'm just worried about my baby bro. - Don't. I'll be fine too. 504 00:23:24,987 --> 00:23:26,488 - I know you will be. - (clanks) 505 00:23:26,655 --> 00:23:28,615 - Whoa! - So where'd you get these? 506 00:23:28,783 --> 00:23:31,159 - John Milius' garage sale. - Are they loaded? 507 00:23:31,327 --> 00:23:32,619 Of course they're loaded, bro. 508 00:23:32,787 --> 00:23:35,038 You can't protect yourself with an empty gun. 509 00:23:35,206 --> 00:23:37,207 Are we really gonna shoot this guy if he comes back? 510 00:23:37,374 --> 00:23:39,125 Would you rather wait for the cops to come back 511 00:23:39,293 --> 00:23:41,711 and find us tied up and drained of all our blood? 512 00:23:41,879 --> 00:23:44,297 "Where's my drink, Spider, you muttering, stuttering..." 513 00:23:44,465 --> 00:23:46,382 It's not a toy, you fucking idiot. 514 00:23:46,550 --> 00:23:48,051 - It's a loaded weapon. - (fires) 515 00:23:48,219 --> 00:23:50,345 - Whoa! - Jeez! 516 00:23:55,309 --> 00:23:57,227 I think we should call Ari's security guy. 517 00:23:57,394 --> 00:24:00,522 - Yeah. - (crashes) 518 00:24:02,608 --> 00:24:04,234 (rap song playing)