1 00:00:06,382 --> 00:00:08,257 (THEME MUSIC PLAYING) 2 00:01:22,458 --> 00:01:24,333 (ALARM CLOCK BUZZES) 3 00:01:32,009 --> 00:01:34,010 Enjoy this, motherfucker. 4 00:01:35,179 --> 00:01:36,846 (PHONE RINGING) 5 00:01:37,014 --> 00:01:38,681 Who died? 6 00:01:38,766 --> 00:01:41,350 No one yet. What? 7 00:01:41,477 --> 00:01:43,186 Looks like I woke you up this time, huh, Ari? 8 00:01:43,270 --> 00:01:45,480 No, but you did wake my wife and kids, dickhead. 9 00:01:45,564 --> 00:01:48,733 Vinnie better be sitting in prison with a DUI or something. Is he? 10 00:01:48,817 --> 00:01:51,152 - No. - Then what do you want, cunt muscle? 11 00:01:51,361 --> 00:01:52,570 I'm sorry about the family, all right? 12 00:01:52,863 --> 00:01:54,614 - Speak. - It's Monday morning, 13 00:01:54,782 --> 00:01:57,450 we have the number one movie, officially, and you promised us offers. 14 00:01:57,534 --> 00:01:59,118 Oh, there will be offers. 15 00:01:59,369 --> 00:02:02,288 Be in my office at 11:30 and you'll hear all about 'em. 16 00:02:02,456 --> 00:02:03,873 - Nice. - Oh, and E? 17 00:02:03,957 --> 00:02:06,626 You have to get up a hell of a lot earlier than this to wake me. 18 00:02:06,835 --> 00:02:08,419 Yeah yeah yeah. 19 00:02:09,630 --> 00:02:11,088 "Cunt muscle"? 20 00:02:14,384 --> 00:02:16,844 - What's the rush? - You don't want to be late for Ari. 21 00:02:16,929 --> 00:02:18,679 - Not on a big day like today. - Seriously, Vin, 22 00:02:18,764 --> 00:02:20,389 they're gonna be offering you everything under the sun. 23 00:02:20,474 --> 00:02:22,099 You don't wanna miss it. Get in the car. 24 00:02:22,351 --> 00:02:24,435 - Shut the door. - Start the car, Turtle. 25 00:02:24,520 --> 00:02:25,645 Let's go. 26 00:02:25,729 --> 00:02:27,146 Yo, cocksuckers, wait up. 27 00:02:27,231 --> 00:02:29,524 - Fuck! - Oh, I see. 28 00:02:29,608 --> 00:02:31,776 Does this mean I'm really not getting everything under the sun? 29 00:02:31,860 --> 00:02:33,361 Out, Turtle. 30 00:02:37,741 --> 00:02:39,283 When is this nightmare gonna end? 31 00:02:39,368 --> 00:02:41,327 It's not going to, so you better get used to it. 32 00:02:41,411 --> 00:02:42,912 Sorry I overslept, boss. 33 00:02:42,996 --> 00:02:45,081 - So where to? The Jew agent? - Whoa whoa, Dom... 34 00:02:45,374 --> 00:02:46,499 you don't talk like that out here. 35 00:02:46,583 --> 00:02:48,125 What? They frown upon the word "Jew"? 36 00:02:54,091 --> 00:02:57,051 Seems you got a lot of problems with how I carry myself, E. 37 00:02:57,135 --> 00:02:59,470 Just trying to help you avoid new problems is all, Dom. 38 00:02:59,555 --> 00:03:03,432 What kind of new problems? I'm not the same old Dommy. I'm a new Dom. 39 00:03:03,517 --> 00:03:05,643 I've been rehabilitated by the State of New York. 40 00:03:05,727 --> 00:03:08,396 And they believe in me, so should you. 41 00:03:08,480 --> 00:03:10,356 Come on Vinnie, you're making bank. 42 00:03:10,440 --> 00:03:12,024 You can't get your boy a whole shirt? 43 00:03:12,109 --> 00:03:14,193 - You talking to me, jerk off? - ARl: Take it easy, Dom. 44 00:03:14,278 --> 00:03:16,612 I just don't want you to excite my man here. He's into bad boys. 45 00:03:16,697 --> 00:03:18,072 Aren't you, Lloyd? 46 00:03:20,200 --> 00:03:21,450 Not. 47 00:03:22,286 --> 00:03:23,619 Come on in, boys. 48 00:03:24,454 --> 00:03:27,248 If the Oriental even looks at me, I'm taking him down. 49 00:03:27,666 --> 00:03:28,791 Hey, Dom, you're out here with us. 50 00:03:30,502 --> 00:03:31,669 - Right, Ari? - You know what? 51 00:03:31,753 --> 00:03:34,130 Today, and today only, I'm gonna open up my doors 52 00:03:34,214 --> 00:03:36,257 like Ellis fucking Island. Come on in. 53 00:03:36,341 --> 00:03:39,302 Bedraggled wretched crew, watch me work my magic. 54 00:03:40,721 --> 00:03:42,096 He must have something good. 55 00:03:42,180 --> 00:03:43,806 He must have something great. 56 00:03:44,850 --> 00:03:45,892 "Flight." 57 00:03:45,976 --> 00:03:47,685 "Dead Poet's Society" in space. 58 00:03:47,936 --> 00:03:49,562 Character-driven, great script, 59 00:03:49,646 --> 00:03:51,105 Darren Aronofsky is directing. 60 00:03:51,189 --> 00:03:53,858 They're offering you $8 million. 61 00:03:56,445 --> 00:03:59,447 "The Sandman." You are a retard at a Red Cross tent 62 00:03:59,531 --> 00:04:02,909 in the Sahara. It's "Being There" meets "Lawrence of Arabia." 63 00:04:03,160 --> 00:04:05,536 David O. Russell's directing, they're offering you 64 00:04:05,621 --> 00:04:07,538 - $9 million. - Take it, Vin. 65 00:04:09,750 --> 00:04:12,168 We got a stack of great ones just like those. 66 00:04:13,045 --> 00:04:14,253 ERIC: So what's the point, Ari? 67 00:04:14,338 --> 00:04:16,088 The point is that they all want our boy, 68 00:04:16,173 --> 00:04:18,132 but what our boy wants, we gotta work for. 69 00:04:18,216 --> 00:04:19,300 What do I want? 70 00:04:21,094 --> 00:04:22,845 (VOCALIZING MUSIC) 71 00:04:29,603 --> 00:04:32,063 Is this what goes on in here when we're out in the hall? 72 00:04:32,147 --> 00:04:33,814 The line starts behind me, motherfuckers. 73 00:04:37,402 --> 00:04:39,445 This ain't blow. It's powdered cream. 74 00:04:39,529 --> 00:04:42,156 - What the fuck is going on, Ari? - Yeah, Ari, what's up? 75 00:04:42,282 --> 00:04:44,325 We're going to the coke capital of the world, that's what's up. 76 00:04:46,328 --> 00:04:48,245 - "Medellin." - "Medellin"? 77 00:04:48,330 --> 00:04:50,081 - "Medellin"? - "Medellin"...boom! 78 00:04:50,165 --> 00:04:53,000 You're gonna play Pablo fuckin' Escobar, just like you wanted. 79 00:04:53,085 --> 00:04:54,961 - I thought that script was dead. - It was dead. 80 00:04:55,045 --> 00:04:56,796 Then Phil Rubenstein gave it CPR. 81 00:04:56,880 --> 00:04:58,506 He saw "Aquaman," and he loved it. 82 00:04:58,590 --> 00:05:00,967 Holy shit! Who's Phil Rubenstein? 83 00:05:01,051 --> 00:05:04,095 He's only the animation king, made like $600 trillion. 84 00:05:04,179 --> 00:05:06,097 Made like, "Madagascar" and "Shrek." 85 00:05:06,306 --> 00:05:08,975 And now he wants to work with real people, and he loves you. 86 00:05:09,059 --> 00:05:10,434 - That's great! - That's not all. 87 00:05:10,519 --> 00:05:12,269 Paul Haggis is directing it. 88 00:05:12,354 --> 00:05:14,146 First thing since he crashed the Oscars. 89 00:05:14,231 --> 00:05:17,400 - Paul Haggis? - He loves you too. Only one problem... 90 00:05:17,484 --> 00:05:19,318 we gotta get Phil Rubenstein to say yes. 91 00:05:19,403 --> 00:05:20,653 How do we get Phil Rubenstein to say yes? 92 00:05:20,737 --> 00:05:23,906 We go to Santa Barbara and we charm his pants off. All right? 93 00:05:23,991 --> 00:05:26,200 He's gonna throw a kickoff party for his new cult wine, 94 00:05:26,284 --> 00:05:28,035 - and he invited us. - Us? 95 00:05:28,120 --> 00:05:30,413 - I do know my wines. - I have to clear it 96 00:05:30,497 --> 00:05:32,540 with my parole officer if I'm going across county lines, Vince. 97 00:05:32,624 --> 00:05:35,084 - Can the boys come? - They can come. He needs sleeves. 98 00:05:37,295 --> 00:05:39,505 I'm just saying, tell this guy he can show you the money 99 00:05:39,589 --> 00:05:41,132 or tell him he can suck your dick. 100 00:05:41,216 --> 00:05:43,467 Dom, it's a little more complicated than that. 101 00:05:43,552 --> 00:05:46,178 Yeah, how so? I just heard the agent tell Vince he has multimillions 102 00:05:46,263 --> 00:05:48,597 in offers waiting. But you're making him get on his knees and beg. 103 00:05:48,890 --> 00:05:50,057 You don't think I'm out of line here, Vince? 104 00:05:50,142 --> 00:05:52,101 Not at all, Dom, I think you're making some good points. 105 00:05:52,436 --> 00:05:54,103 - Thanks, Vince. - DRAMA: Yo... 106 00:05:54,521 --> 00:05:56,939 How good is this shirt gonna look on me? 107 00:05:57,024 --> 00:05:58,858 Not as good as it already looks on me. 108 00:05:59,526 --> 00:06:01,527 Too slow to the draw, hombre. 109 00:06:02,029 --> 00:06:03,487 TAILOR: You can change now. 110 00:06:07,659 --> 00:06:08,993 He's making some good points? 111 00:06:09,077 --> 00:06:11,787 Call Ari and tell him I'm not going to Santa Barbara. 112 00:06:12,581 --> 00:06:14,665 Vince, this is the movie we wanted to do, all right? 113 00:06:14,750 --> 00:06:17,168 It's a chance for you to act, get away from the blue screen 114 00:06:17,252 --> 00:06:18,794 and the animatronic fish. This is our "Scarface." 115 00:06:18,962 --> 00:06:21,213 Tell him to make an offer and then we'll talk. 'Cause I ain't kissing 116 00:06:21,298 --> 00:06:23,299 - no fucking ass, man. - Are you serious? 117 00:06:24,009 --> 00:06:26,302 No, I'm not serious. You know I'd kill to do this movie. 118 00:06:26,386 --> 00:06:28,471 But why do you have to argue with Dom? You said you were gonna try 119 00:06:28,555 --> 00:06:30,556 - to get along with him. - I'm trying all right? But the guy is 120 00:06:30,640 --> 00:06:32,683 talking about your career and he doesn't know what he's talking about. 121 00:06:32,768 --> 00:06:35,102 Yeah, I'm just trying to get him on his feet. Let him spin his wheels a little, 122 00:06:35,187 --> 00:06:37,396 it's not a big deal. It'll build his confidence. 123 00:06:37,481 --> 00:06:39,065 Will you just help me do that, please? 124 00:06:39,232 --> 00:06:40,357 Okay. 125 00:06:40,650 --> 00:06:42,943 Yo, we gotta leave now if we wanna beat Santa Barbara traffic. 126 00:06:43,028 --> 00:06:45,863 Don't worry about the traffic, Turtle. I've arranged for us to skip it. 127 00:06:46,281 --> 00:06:47,990 - (POP MUSIC PLAYING) - Really? 128 00:06:59,127 --> 00:07:01,962 You know, sitting here in this expensive suit, 129 00:07:02,047 --> 00:07:04,173 flying in this expensive helicopter, 130 00:07:04,257 --> 00:07:06,967 going to an expensive guy's house, 131 00:07:08,178 --> 00:07:10,513 I finally feel like I made something in my life. 132 00:07:11,473 --> 00:07:13,140 Thanks, Vince. 133 00:07:13,767 --> 00:07:16,852 I'd feel the same fucking way if I was wearing that shirt. 134 00:07:22,692 --> 00:07:23,984 Look at this fucking spread. 135 00:07:24,069 --> 00:07:26,737 This guy can make you a $10 million offer, no problem. 136 00:07:26,822 --> 00:07:28,572 And once he hangs with Vince for five minutes, 137 00:07:28,657 --> 00:07:30,366 - that's what he's gonna do. - Exactly. 138 00:07:30,450 --> 00:07:34,328 Vince, being charming is all about body language, bro. 139 00:07:34,412 --> 00:07:35,955 Vince knows how to charm, Drama. 140 00:07:36,039 --> 00:07:39,667 Yeah, women, but man charm is a totally different animal. 141 00:07:39,751 --> 00:07:41,877 You gotta get in close enough to entice, 142 00:07:41,962 --> 00:07:44,213 but not so close as to encroach. 143 00:07:44,297 --> 00:07:46,549 What do you say we forget kissing-the-ring bullshit 144 00:07:46,633 --> 00:07:48,634 and I get close to this guy while you're talking to him? 145 00:07:48,718 --> 00:07:50,302 Apply a little pressure. 146 00:07:50,387 --> 00:07:52,012 No, don't do that, Dom. In fact it'd be really great 147 00:07:52,097 --> 00:07:53,430 if you don't talk to Rubenstein at all. 148 00:07:53,515 --> 00:07:57,059 I didn't say I was gonna talk. I won't say a word. I'll just stare like this. 149 00:07:58,270 --> 00:07:59,562 (TURTLE SNICKERS) 150 00:07:59,646 --> 00:08:01,021 Hey hey! You boys are looking sharp. 151 00:08:01,231 --> 00:08:03,399 Hey, thanks, Ari. 152 00:08:03,525 --> 00:08:04,525 Actually I meant the other boys. 153 00:08:04,609 --> 00:08:06,152 Which one's Rubensteinberg, Ari? 154 00:08:06,236 --> 00:08:09,530 It's Rubenstein, and please, don't try to pronounce it again. 155 00:08:09,614 --> 00:08:11,448 Vinnie, let's go get us a gig. You ready? 156 00:08:11,533 --> 00:08:12,658 Hey Vince, remember... 157 00:08:13,952 --> 00:08:15,619 Not too close. 158 00:08:21,334 --> 00:08:22,918 Got any hard alcohol in this place? 159 00:08:23,003 --> 00:08:26,088 'Cause the pruno I made in the joint tastes better than this shit. 160 00:08:28,049 --> 00:08:30,050 Wow, this wine is great, Phil. 161 00:08:30,135 --> 00:08:32,720 - Congratulations. - I'm glad you like it, Vince. 162 00:08:32,804 --> 00:08:34,638 And I just screened "Aquaman" and you were great. 163 00:08:34,723 --> 00:08:36,015 - ARl: Ahh! - Thanks. 164 00:08:36,099 --> 00:08:39,018 I just saw "Madagascar" with my nephew and that was really great. 165 00:08:39,102 --> 00:08:40,477 - Oh yeah? - Yeah. 166 00:08:40,562 --> 00:08:42,229 In fact, if you have any open animals in the sequel 167 00:08:42,314 --> 00:08:43,564 I'd love to be involved. 168 00:08:43,648 --> 00:08:46,233 Great. What kind of an animal could you see yourself playing? 169 00:08:46,318 --> 00:08:50,279 Um, I don't know. A cheetah maybe? 170 00:08:50,363 --> 00:08:52,364 A cheetah. That's great. 171 00:08:52,449 --> 00:08:55,242 Great. You're both great. Let's make a deal. 172 00:08:55,327 --> 00:08:57,912 Ari, could you leave Vince with me for a bit? 173 00:08:57,996 --> 00:08:59,622 Uh, yeah. 174 00:08:59,706 --> 00:09:01,248 Great. Come on, Vince. 175 00:09:01,333 --> 00:09:03,792 I'll show you the vines where I handpick my pinots. 176 00:09:06,630 --> 00:09:09,506 I get toffee, mocha... 177 00:09:11,259 --> 00:09:13,427 ...and a hint of terra firma. 178 00:09:13,511 --> 00:09:15,346 Terra firma is dirt, Drama. 179 00:09:15,597 --> 00:09:18,015 Yeah, well wine comes from dirt, E. 180 00:09:18,558 --> 00:09:21,018 I gotta take a leak. I'll be back. 181 00:09:21,102 --> 00:09:22,770 It kind of smells like lead pencils to me. 182 00:09:22,854 --> 00:09:24,230 (SNIFFS) What does it smell like to you, Ari? 183 00:09:24,314 --> 00:09:26,273 Don't stick a glass in my face, Turtle. 184 00:09:26,358 --> 00:09:27,942 What's with the attitude? 185 00:09:28,026 --> 00:09:29,276 Stop freaking out, Ari. Vince will be fine. 186 00:09:29,361 --> 00:09:30,819 They've been out there for 20 minutes, man. 187 00:09:30,904 --> 00:09:31,904 What are they talking about? 188 00:09:31,988 --> 00:09:33,948 I'm sure Vince is just charming his ass off. 189 00:09:34,032 --> 00:09:36,158 It's just a matter of time before he locks the deal. 190 00:09:36,534 --> 00:09:37,785 As long as Dom don't fuck it up. 191 00:09:37,869 --> 00:09:39,828 - E: Huh? - Look. 192 00:09:40,830 --> 00:09:41,914 ARl: Fuck. E: Jesus. 193 00:09:46,836 --> 00:09:49,546 It's nice to see you still have your childhood friends around you. 194 00:09:49,631 --> 00:09:52,258 Kid never forgot where he came from, never went Hollywood. 195 00:09:52,342 --> 00:09:54,301 Except I think he tweezes his eyebrowses now. 196 00:09:54,386 --> 00:09:55,427 (ARI LAUGHS) 197 00:09:55,512 --> 00:09:56,971 E: Hey, Dom, let's go get a drink, buddy. 198 00:09:57,055 --> 00:09:58,973 - I got a drink, E. - Grab another one, they're free. 199 00:09:59,057 --> 00:10:00,099 Come on, all right? 200 00:10:00,183 --> 00:10:02,309 It's okay, Ari. Talking to Dom, I get a real sense 201 00:10:02,394 --> 00:10:04,395 who Vince is and where he came from. 202 00:10:04,479 --> 00:10:06,522 Yeah, I'm sure Phil hung out with some pretty crazy guys 203 00:10:06,606 --> 00:10:08,274 back in the neighborhood where he's from, huh? 204 00:10:08,358 --> 00:10:11,652 Of course. In fact, I had a childhood friend in Great Neck 205 00:10:11,736 --> 00:10:13,279 whose family was... 206 00:10:14,072 --> 00:10:15,948 Jewish mafia. 207 00:10:16,032 --> 00:10:17,783 Ah, the best kind. 208 00:10:18,368 --> 00:10:19,743 How would you like to hear a story 209 00:10:19,828 --> 00:10:21,453 that will sum up exactly who Vince is 210 00:10:21,538 --> 00:10:24,290 - and exactly where he comes from, Phil? - I'd love to. 211 00:10:24,708 --> 00:10:27,960 About 10 years ago, me and Vince were out at some dive bar in Queens... 212 00:10:28,044 --> 00:10:29,628 - Oh. ...and he hooks up 213 00:10:29,713 --> 00:10:33,590 with this hot piece of ass, as usual. And he blows out. 214 00:10:33,675 --> 00:10:36,343 Me, I stay, I get zonked out of my mind, 215 00:10:36,428 --> 00:10:38,178 I stumble out into the middle of the street 216 00:10:38,263 --> 00:10:41,140 and I see my fucking car's been stolen. 217 00:10:41,224 --> 00:10:43,434 I don't know what to do, so I call the fuzz, 218 00:10:43,518 --> 00:10:45,769 I fill out all the paperwork, but it's 40 below 219 00:10:45,854 --> 00:10:47,396 and I'm freezing my balls off. 220 00:10:47,564 --> 00:10:50,107 So I ask 'em, "Can I stay in the back of the squad car?" 221 00:10:50,191 --> 00:10:51,650 They say, "Yeah, sure, no problem." 222 00:10:51,735 --> 00:10:54,653 I'm sitting there, Phil, for 20 minutes 223 00:10:54,738 --> 00:10:56,697 when it fucking hits me: 224 00:10:57,657 --> 00:11:00,868 I didn't drive. My car wasn't stolen, it was parked at my house. 225 00:11:00,952 --> 00:11:02,995 Ha ha, that's a funny story. Let me ask you something, Phil... 226 00:11:03,079 --> 00:11:04,496 That's not the funny part. 227 00:11:04,581 --> 00:11:06,081 Here's the funny part, Phil: 228 00:11:06,583 --> 00:11:09,001 Fucking cops run a check on my registration. 229 00:11:09,085 --> 00:11:11,670 It comes back I got three bench warrants out for my arrest. 230 00:11:11,755 --> 00:11:13,297 Bam, that's it. They got me. 231 00:11:13,381 --> 00:11:16,425 No fuss, no muss. I'm already locked in the back seat of their car. 232 00:11:16,676 --> 00:11:18,093 Fucking idiot I am, 233 00:11:18,720 --> 00:11:20,554 I turn myself in by accident. 234 00:11:25,935 --> 00:11:28,562 - That's hysterical, Dom. - And touching... 235 00:11:28,646 --> 00:11:31,190 'cause I call Vince up 3:00 in the fucking morning 236 00:11:31,274 --> 00:11:34,193 and the kid busts open his piggy bank and bails my ass out. 237 00:11:34,277 --> 00:11:37,696 And the best part? The hot broad that he had with him 238 00:11:37,781 --> 00:11:40,616 had a good-looking sister. Right, Vince? 239 00:11:41,201 --> 00:11:44,995 Still to this day, Phil, the best lay I ever had. 240 00:11:45,288 --> 00:11:46,622 That's the kind of guy Vince is. 241 00:11:47,332 --> 00:11:49,958 He's a brother to me, and I love him. 242 00:11:51,961 --> 00:11:53,253 - To friendship. - ARl: There we go. 243 00:11:53,338 --> 00:11:54,380 To friendship. 244 00:11:54,464 --> 00:11:56,465 Now you've said something there. 245 00:11:58,343 --> 00:11:59,968 DOM: You mad I told that story? 246 00:12:00,053 --> 00:12:02,513 E: No, I'm not mad. It was a good story. VINCE: Great story. 247 00:12:02,597 --> 00:12:04,556 Yeah, except it was me that bailed you out 248 00:12:04,641 --> 00:12:05,808 and picked up the two hot sisters. 249 00:12:05,892 --> 00:12:07,226 DOM: What? E: Drama, you're delusional. 250 00:12:07,310 --> 00:12:08,602 What were you drinking tonight? 251 00:12:09,229 --> 00:12:10,479 Paging Mr. Escobar... 252 00:12:11,064 --> 00:12:12,648 Mr. Pablo Escobar... 253 00:12:13,149 --> 00:12:14,149 Don't fuck with me, Ari. 254 00:12:14,692 --> 00:12:16,151 You're gonna get an offer in the morning. 255 00:12:16,236 --> 00:12:17,694 - Are you sure? - Yes, I am sure. 256 00:12:17,779 --> 00:12:19,655 - Amazing, thank you! - Thank you, Vinnie, are you kidding me? 257 00:12:19,739 --> 00:12:21,532 Rubenstein said he could tell that you're a street kid 258 00:12:21,616 --> 00:12:23,867 - and you get this world. - Yeah, thanks to Dom's story. 259 00:12:23,952 --> 00:12:26,578 - Stop it. Come on, man. - Dom, you did a good job. 260 00:12:26,663 --> 00:12:28,497 - Tell him, E. - Nope. 261 00:12:28,581 --> 00:12:29,748 Great job, Dom. Come here! 262 00:12:29,999 --> 00:12:31,458 (ALL CHEER) 263 00:12:32,210 --> 00:12:34,962 E: Going to Colombia, baby! TURTLE: Coming through in the clutch! 264 00:12:36,005 --> 00:12:37,673 - (WOMAN MOANING) - (BED THUMPING) 265 00:12:49,227 --> 00:12:50,436 E, I'm getting used to him, 266 00:12:50,520 --> 00:12:51,770 but could we at least soundproof his room? 267 00:12:51,855 --> 00:12:54,773 - You got it, Turtle. - (CELL PHONE RINGS) 268 00:12:55,650 --> 00:12:57,734 - So we got an offer? - No, we got a problem. 269 00:12:57,819 --> 00:12:59,528 Oh, don't tell me that, Ari. Not today. 270 00:12:59,612 --> 00:13:01,447 - You said you were sure. - I was. 271 00:13:01,531 --> 00:13:03,031 Just got off the phone with Rubenstein's people. 272 00:13:03,116 --> 00:13:05,576 Somebody robbed his house at the party last night. 273 00:13:05,660 --> 00:13:07,661 - What? - Stole the original Shrek doll 274 00:13:07,745 --> 00:13:10,914 right out of its apparently-impossible- to-break-into case. 275 00:13:10,999 --> 00:13:12,708 - Jesus. - Cops are all over it. 276 00:13:12,792 --> 00:13:15,294 I don't have to tell you, E, if this comes up smelling bad for us, 277 00:13:15,378 --> 00:13:16,920 you can kiss Bogota goodbye. 278 00:13:17,005 --> 00:13:18,630 Why would it come up bad for us? 279 00:13:18,715 --> 00:13:20,507 I'm thinking about your new housemate, E. 280 00:13:20,592 --> 00:13:21,842 Ari, there were 300 people there. 281 00:13:21,926 --> 00:13:24,720 Well 299 of them didn't serve time! 282 00:13:24,804 --> 00:13:26,305 That's a big fucking accusation. 283 00:13:26,389 --> 00:13:27,973 I'm not making it. But when Rubenstein, 284 00:13:28,057 --> 00:13:30,225 who is so distraught over this he can't get out of bed, 285 00:13:30,310 --> 00:13:33,061 remembers Dom's little jailhouse stories... he will. 286 00:13:35,273 --> 00:13:36,356 So what did they get? 287 00:13:36,441 --> 00:13:37,566 E: The original Shrek doll. 288 00:13:37,650 --> 00:13:40,486 You can rule out Turtle. He'd only take a doll he could fuck. 289 00:13:41,863 --> 00:13:44,114 - They got any leads? - No, but Ari thinks he does. 290 00:13:44,199 --> 00:13:46,742 - Morning, fellas. - Morning, Dom. 291 00:13:47,285 --> 00:13:50,037 Hey, Vin, any way you could spot me a couple of bucks? 292 00:13:50,121 --> 00:13:52,873 I found this new service. The broads are hotter but pricier. 293 00:13:52,957 --> 00:13:54,583 No problem. On my dresser. 294 00:13:55,335 --> 00:13:58,086 Be right back to season out the blandness of Drama's cooking. 295 00:13:58,505 --> 00:14:00,589 - Heh. - (E CLEARS THROAT) 296 00:14:01,508 --> 00:14:04,009 - Come on, E. No way. - I don't want to point the finger 297 00:14:04,093 --> 00:14:06,762 but I'd like to be sure before everyone else inevitably does. 298 00:14:06,846 --> 00:14:08,931 Okay, fine, we'll talk to him, but there's no way. 299 00:14:09,849 --> 00:14:13,268 You want us to sweep the house for that doll? Just in case? 300 00:14:13,353 --> 00:14:14,353 - No. - Yes. 301 00:14:15,146 --> 00:14:16,271 Just in case. 302 00:14:18,024 --> 00:14:20,400 Let me guess. I'm making too much noise with the whores. 303 00:14:21,194 --> 00:14:22,694 I can ask them to bring it down. 304 00:14:22,779 --> 00:14:24,196 You know, they fake those screams. 305 00:14:24,280 --> 00:14:25,781 They're just for effects anyway. 306 00:14:25,865 --> 00:14:27,115 The girls are fine, Dom. 307 00:14:28,034 --> 00:14:29,159 So what's up, then? 308 00:14:29,244 --> 00:14:30,619 I mean, you got me real nervous here. 309 00:14:30,787 --> 00:14:33,622 Somebody robbed Rubenstein's house last night, 310 00:14:33,831 --> 00:14:35,374 took something very valuable. 311 00:14:35,458 --> 00:14:36,625 And you think it was me? 312 00:14:36,793 --> 00:14:39,002 - I hate askin'. - You are askin'. 313 00:14:39,379 --> 00:14:40,462 Or is E askin'? 314 00:14:40,547 --> 00:14:42,756 Dom, we both hate askin', but the cops are gonna ask 315 00:14:42,840 --> 00:14:44,716 and we'd feel better if we spoke to you about it first. 316 00:14:44,801 --> 00:14:48,136 Jesus Christ. My past will always haunt me, huh? 317 00:14:49,347 --> 00:14:50,430 I'm sorry, Dom. 318 00:14:50,640 --> 00:14:52,933 Nah, you shouldn't be. 319 00:14:53,226 --> 00:14:56,144 Truth is, I have stolen. Plenty. 320 00:14:56,271 --> 00:14:58,981 And I hurt lots of people in my lifetime. 321 00:14:59,983 --> 00:15:01,608 But I didn't do this. (SNORTS) 322 00:15:01,818 --> 00:15:03,193 (SNORTING) 323 00:15:03,945 --> 00:15:06,655 I mean, you guys know me since I'm eight years old. 324 00:15:07,240 --> 00:15:09,366 Have I ever done anything to hurt either one of you? 325 00:15:09,450 --> 00:15:10,409 - No. - No. 326 00:15:10,493 --> 00:15:12,077 And now that you've been so good to me, 327 00:15:12,161 --> 00:15:13,829 and allow me back into your home 328 00:15:13,913 --> 00:15:16,164 like no time has passed, 329 00:15:17,000 --> 00:15:18,709 why would I do this now? 330 00:15:21,337 --> 00:15:22,629 You believe me, right, Vin? 331 00:15:23,006 --> 00:15:24,506 I believe you, Dom. 332 00:15:25,592 --> 00:15:26,592 E? 333 00:15:27,176 --> 00:15:29,511 Yeah, Dom. I believe you. 334 00:15:30,847 --> 00:15:32,180 (SNORTS) 335 00:15:33,850 --> 00:15:35,058 You're out of your fucking mind. 336 00:15:35,143 --> 00:15:36,893 I played poker with this guy for 20 years. 337 00:15:36,978 --> 00:15:38,645 He has a worse tell than Malkovich in "Rounders." 338 00:15:38,730 --> 00:15:40,272 Did you see him? (SNORTS) 339 00:15:40,356 --> 00:15:42,441 I've played poker with him too. I don't remember that. 340 00:15:42,609 --> 00:15:43,817 - (SNORTING) - It's disgusting, stop! 341 00:15:43,901 --> 00:15:45,485 Vince, I'm telling you, he did it. 342 00:15:45,570 --> 00:15:47,237 I'm telling you I don't think he did. 343 00:15:47,322 --> 00:15:48,822 (HORN HONKS) 344 00:15:50,033 --> 00:15:51,450 Should we hit a titty bar? 345 00:15:51,534 --> 00:15:52,909 It's 10:00 in the morning, Dom. 346 00:16:02,170 --> 00:16:03,795 I don't see shit. 347 00:16:03,880 --> 00:16:05,130 Yeah, me neither. 348 00:16:05,214 --> 00:16:07,215 Now put that stuff back the way it was. 349 00:16:08,134 --> 00:16:09,176 (SIGHS) 350 00:16:09,260 --> 00:16:11,887 Was the red shirt on top or was the white? 351 00:16:11,971 --> 00:16:14,222 You gotta be kidding me. I told you to remember 352 00:16:14,307 --> 00:16:16,391 exactly what everything was like before you touched it! 353 00:16:16,476 --> 00:16:18,977 Well I forgot, okay? So what do you suggest I do now? 354 00:16:19,062 --> 00:16:20,312 - Just throw those out. - What? 355 00:16:20,396 --> 00:16:21,897 Those two shirts, throw 'em out. 356 00:16:21,981 --> 00:16:23,774 If he sees that everything is out of order, 357 00:16:23,858 --> 00:16:25,859 he's gonna think we were snooping around in here. 358 00:16:25,943 --> 00:16:28,528 But if it's just gone, the fuck's he gonna say? 359 00:16:28,613 --> 00:16:31,281 - Brilliant. - Just do it, Turtle, and keep looking. 360 00:16:31,366 --> 00:16:33,033 Where else? We looked everywhere. 361 00:16:36,079 --> 00:16:37,829 (TIRES SCREECHING) 362 00:16:38,164 --> 00:16:39,915 Yo, they're coming, they're coming! 363 00:16:40,792 --> 00:16:42,668 Don't be so panicky. 364 00:16:44,087 --> 00:16:45,504 We didn't do anything wrong. 365 00:16:45,588 --> 00:16:46,630 Did you find anything? 366 00:16:46,923 --> 00:16:49,424 No, but I may have figured out a way 367 00:16:49,509 --> 00:16:51,551 - to descramble the pay-per-view. - For real? 368 00:16:51,636 --> 00:16:53,095 - (WHISPERS) Yeah. - (WHISPERS) Nice. 369 00:16:53,346 --> 00:16:54,513 Fuck are you guys doing? 370 00:16:55,014 --> 00:16:56,723 We were just checking out the plumbing. 371 00:16:56,808 --> 00:16:57,849 You find anything? 372 00:16:57,934 --> 00:16:59,768 - No. - All clear. 373 00:17:04,232 --> 00:17:05,732 Yo, we gonna be able to get Spice? 374 00:17:05,817 --> 00:17:08,694 PHIL ON PHONE: It represents a turning point in my career, in my life! 375 00:17:08,778 --> 00:17:10,529 Phil, I understand you're upset. 376 00:17:10,613 --> 00:17:12,030 I am upset for you, okay? 377 00:17:12,198 --> 00:17:14,074 But you can't just go randomly pointing a finger. 378 00:17:14,158 --> 00:17:17,202 - I mean, this is America. - My maid saw him upstairs, Ari. 379 00:17:17,286 --> 00:17:18,662 Maybe he had to use the bathroom. 380 00:17:18,746 --> 00:17:20,747 Because there was a problem with the 10 I have downstairs? 381 00:17:22,291 --> 00:17:25,335 Phil, I feel for your loss, I do. 382 00:17:25,420 --> 00:17:26,545 But we can't go throwing away 383 00:17:26,629 --> 00:17:28,797 a huge movie that's gonna be as special 384 00:17:28,881 --> 00:17:31,508 as "Shrek" someday based on a hunch. 385 00:17:31,592 --> 00:17:34,386 A hunch is what got me to drop out of law school against my family's wishes. 386 00:17:34,470 --> 00:17:36,722 And I have a hunch now that I know who did this. 387 00:17:36,806 --> 00:17:39,474 But I don't even care about catching him. 388 00:17:39,559 --> 00:17:41,101 I just want my doll back! 389 00:17:41,185 --> 00:17:43,562 Come on, we'll make a little Pablo Escobar doll, Phil, 390 00:17:43,646 --> 00:17:45,147 and we'll put it in Shrek's place. 391 00:17:45,231 --> 00:17:47,023 (PHONE LINE CLICKS) 392 00:17:48,568 --> 00:17:50,819 Phil? Phil? Phi... 393 00:17:52,238 --> 00:17:53,488 (DIAL TONE HUMS) 394 00:17:53,865 --> 00:17:56,742 - The doll or "Medellin"? - The doll or "Medellin." 395 00:17:56,826 --> 00:17:58,618 I don't know what you want me to say 'cause we don't have the doll. 396 00:17:58,703 --> 00:17:59,870 Then you don't have "Medellin." 397 00:17:59,954 --> 00:18:01,872 What, do think I'm hiding the fucking thing, Ari? 398 00:18:02,039 --> 00:18:05,041 What I think is that you guys have got blinders on. 399 00:18:05,168 --> 00:18:06,126 No, I think you just grew up in a place 400 00:18:06,210 --> 00:18:07,419 where it's okay to accuse anyone 401 00:18:07,503 --> 00:18:09,004 who doesn't look like they went to Harvard. 402 00:18:09,088 --> 00:18:11,506 No, I grew up in a place where if you're accused of something, 403 00:18:11,591 --> 00:18:13,592 chances are you've done something wrong. 404 00:18:13,676 --> 00:18:15,135 Yeah, well Vince doesn't think he did it, 405 00:18:15,219 --> 00:18:16,511 so what the fuck do you want me to tell you, Ari? 406 00:18:16,596 --> 00:18:18,013 Tell me if you think he did it. 407 00:18:20,391 --> 00:18:21,892 Ah! So you do. 408 00:18:21,976 --> 00:18:23,769 Look, it doesn't matter what I think. We need proof. 409 00:18:23,853 --> 00:18:26,438 Oh, is that all? Well, why don't we go get some? 410 00:18:30,359 --> 00:18:33,236 I only brought five shirts with me and two of them are gone. 411 00:18:33,821 --> 00:18:35,071 Can't help you, Dom. 412 00:18:35,156 --> 00:18:38,450 40% of my wardrobe goes missing and you guys don't know dick about it? 413 00:18:38,534 --> 00:18:39,534 Nope. 414 00:18:39,619 --> 00:18:42,245 - Vince? - They don't wear your size, Dom. 415 00:18:43,664 --> 00:18:45,081 VINCE: Hey, what's going on? 416 00:18:45,166 --> 00:18:47,292 What's going on is we know Dom took the doll. 417 00:18:47,376 --> 00:18:49,294 - Ari... - Vinnie, I got proof. 418 00:18:49,378 --> 00:18:50,796 Fuck you, you don't got shit. 419 00:18:50,880 --> 00:18:54,674 Listen, you return the doll and everything will be forgiven, okay? 420 00:18:54,759 --> 00:18:56,468 There's nothing to forgive 'cause I don't got it. 421 00:18:56,552 --> 00:18:57,803 All right, what kind of proof do you have? 422 00:18:57,887 --> 00:18:59,638 Security tapes from Rubenstein's house. 423 00:18:59,722 --> 00:19:01,640 You think the guy's got a billion dollars in the bank 424 00:19:01,724 --> 00:19:03,558 and doesn't have cameras everywhere? 425 00:19:03,684 --> 00:19:05,310 The jig is up, baby. 426 00:19:05,394 --> 00:19:06,853 - Dom? - He's bluffing. 427 00:19:06,938 --> 00:19:08,897 - Am I? - Yeah. 428 00:19:08,981 --> 00:19:10,899 'Cause I didn't steal it, so I can't be on that tape. 429 00:19:16,823 --> 00:19:18,657 - I'm gonna press play. - Press it. 430 00:19:18,741 --> 00:19:21,326 And if I'm on there I'll suck your cock on Rodeo Drive. 431 00:19:21,410 --> 00:19:24,037 But if I'm not, I'm gonna crack open your fuckin' head. 432 00:19:24,121 --> 00:19:25,163 Either way, I lose. 433 00:19:25,248 --> 00:19:27,624 Yeah, either way you lose, so fuckin' press the button. 434 00:19:28,876 --> 00:19:29,876 All right, you ready? 435 00:19:35,258 --> 00:19:36,466 (JEWISH FOLK MUSIC PLAYING) 436 00:19:36,551 --> 00:19:38,552 Aw, Jesus, Ari! What the fuck is wrong with you? 437 00:19:38,636 --> 00:19:40,011 Hey, any shots of us at the bat mitzvah? 438 00:19:40,096 --> 00:19:41,805 - ARl: All right, I'm bluffing. - I'll fuckin' kill him! 439 00:19:41,889 --> 00:19:43,181 ARl: Put Shrek back in his cage! 440 00:19:43,599 --> 00:19:45,517 I did this to save your ass, okay? 441 00:19:45,601 --> 00:19:47,811 - Ari, get the fuck out. - Everyone knows this guy did it. 442 00:19:47,895 --> 00:19:49,646 This is the worst thing you've ever done. Get out. 443 00:19:49,730 --> 00:19:52,148 I'm gonna call you later. I'm leaving on my own. 444 00:19:53,901 --> 00:19:56,236 - Hey, Vince... - You know what? Fuck you too, Eric. 445 00:19:56,320 --> 00:19:58,029 - And fuck you guys. - TURTLE: What did we do? 446 00:19:58,114 --> 00:20:00,615 Dom's our boy since we were kids. 447 00:20:00,700 --> 00:20:03,577 Have we gone so Hollywood we forget how to treat family? 448 00:20:03,661 --> 00:20:06,830 You know, fuck this movie, E. 449 00:20:06,914 --> 00:20:08,540 In fact, fuck Hollywood. 450 00:20:08,624 --> 00:20:11,126 I would rather be working at the Dairy Barn 451 00:20:11,210 --> 00:20:12,836 than to listen to people accuse my boy. 452 00:20:12,920 --> 00:20:15,964 You know why? 'Cause I know Dom would never intentionally 453 00:20:16,048 --> 00:20:17,799 do anything to fuck me over. 454 00:20:21,262 --> 00:20:24,389 - You know, don't you? - I do now. 455 00:20:24,473 --> 00:20:25,682 - Know what? - How? 456 00:20:25,766 --> 00:20:28,143 You scratched your neck when you told Ari he was bluffing. 457 00:20:28,227 --> 00:20:29,811 - Really? - See, that was his tell in cards, 458 00:20:29,896 --> 00:20:32,063 not that stupid shit you keep doing. 459 00:20:32,440 --> 00:20:33,607 I feel like shit about this. 460 00:20:33,858 --> 00:20:35,692 Where the fuck is it, Dom? 461 00:20:40,531 --> 00:20:42,073 DRAMA: I knew we needed a strip-search. 462 00:20:42,158 --> 00:20:44,117 No, you knew you wanted a strip-search. 463 00:20:45,328 --> 00:20:47,120 You know you could have cost Vince this movie? 464 00:20:47,204 --> 00:20:48,622 - I didn't mean to. - VINCE: Why did you do it? 465 00:20:48,706 --> 00:20:51,499 I don't know, Vin. I seen "Shrek" like 400 times in the joint, 466 00:20:51,751 --> 00:20:53,376 you know, 'cause you can't watch adult content. 467 00:20:53,961 --> 00:20:55,921 And when I saw it, I just grabbed it. 468 00:20:56,255 --> 00:20:58,173 I was gonna put it back, I swear to my mother, 469 00:20:58,257 --> 00:21:01,217 but this one maid, she kept looking at me the whole night like she knew. 470 00:21:01,302 --> 00:21:03,637 Thought about taking her out to protect you. 471 00:21:03,721 --> 00:21:05,680 But then I thought it was just best to deny. 472 00:21:06,390 --> 00:21:09,935 No excuses, but I am sorry. 473 00:21:11,520 --> 00:21:12,771 Yeah, I'm sorry too, Dom. 474 00:21:13,689 --> 00:21:14,940 I'm gonna go see if I can catch Ari. 475 00:21:15,024 --> 00:21:16,191 I'd wash that. 476 00:21:16,692 --> 00:21:19,402 That little monster spent the night inside the most unsavory woman. 477 00:21:19,695 --> 00:21:21,112 Jesus. Here, put that in the sink. 478 00:21:21,197 --> 00:21:23,615 And I wouldn't call Ari. I wouldn't even return it. 479 00:21:23,699 --> 00:21:24,950 No body, no crime. 480 00:21:25,034 --> 00:21:26,952 Look, he said all we gotta do is return the doll and we're all good. 481 00:21:27,036 --> 00:21:28,244 It's the oldest trick in the book, E. 482 00:21:28,663 --> 00:21:30,664 You'll return it, they'll still slap the cuffs on me 483 00:21:30,748 --> 00:21:31,790 and take away the movie. 484 00:21:32,792 --> 00:21:35,293 - He's right. - Yeah, you're right. 485 00:21:35,378 --> 00:21:38,171 That's the best career advice you've ever given, Dom. 486 00:21:38,255 --> 00:21:39,547 I got an idea. 487 00:21:42,802 --> 00:21:44,928 Come on, guys, admit it. You miss him a little. 488 00:21:45,012 --> 00:21:46,054 A very little. 489 00:21:46,138 --> 00:21:47,305 He's only at the Oakwoods. 490 00:21:47,390 --> 00:21:50,100 A Hummer and an apartment. That's not a bad severance package. 491 00:21:50,184 --> 00:21:52,686 No, not bad at all. This is it. 492 00:21:59,068 --> 00:22:00,610 Rock, paper, scissors. 493 00:22:00,695 --> 00:22:02,404 No, I'll do it. I got the better arm. 494 00:22:03,239 --> 00:22:04,531 Please. 495 00:22:22,800 --> 00:22:24,509 - Afternoon, Lloyd. - Hey. 496 00:22:24,593 --> 00:22:26,928 He's just finishing up a call, but go on in. 497 00:22:29,515 --> 00:22:31,766 You two, out. It was a one-time thing. 498 00:22:34,812 --> 00:22:37,063 What's the word, Ari? Got anything new to report? 499 00:22:37,148 --> 00:22:38,523 Yeah, I just got a call from Rubenstein. 500 00:22:38,607 --> 00:22:40,608 Apparently they found his doll somehow. 501 00:22:40,693 --> 00:22:42,068 Oh! 502 00:22:42,153 --> 00:22:43,778 - So we're all good then, right? - No, we're not. 503 00:22:44,613 --> 00:22:45,905 Just got off the phone with Warner Brothers. 504 00:22:45,990 --> 00:22:47,866 They're so excited about the "Aquaman" opening 505 00:22:47,950 --> 00:22:49,784 that they've green-lit "Aquaman 2." 506 00:22:50,578 --> 00:22:52,787 - Well that's good, no? - Naw. 507 00:22:53,414 --> 00:22:56,791 Start date is September 8th, same day as "Medellin." 508 00:23:04,967 --> 00:23:06,176 (RAP MUSIC PLAYING)