1 00:00:11,178 --> 00:00:13,137 (OPENING MUSIC PLAYING) 2 00:01:17,453 --> 00:01:19,078 (CHATTERING AND MUSIC PLAYING) 3 00:01:19,163 --> 00:01:20,580 Here you go. 4 00:01:25,377 --> 00:01:28,296 (CLEARS THROAT) That's what I call service with a smile. 5 00:01:28,380 --> 00:01:30,965 More like a smile I'd like to service. 6 00:01:31,049 --> 00:01:32,717 She is pretty cute, E. 7 00:01:32,801 --> 00:01:34,927 Third time she smiled at you... You should get her number. 8 00:01:35,012 --> 00:01:36,345 I don't want to go out with a waitress. 9 00:01:36,430 --> 00:01:37,680 DRAMA: You believe this guy? 10 00:01:37,765 --> 00:01:38,765 He's been out of Queens a few years, 11 00:01:38,849 --> 00:01:40,308 he already thinks he's above the working class. 12 00:01:40,392 --> 00:01:41,934 My mother used to wait tables, you moron. 13 00:01:42,019 --> 00:01:44,187 I respect 'em, I just don't want to be in a relationship with one of 'em. 14 00:01:44,271 --> 00:01:45,730 They keep shitty hours. 15 00:01:45,814 --> 00:01:47,857 Who said anything about a relationship? 16 00:01:47,941 --> 00:01:50,276 Yeah, E. Why do you got to look at every girl 17 00:01:50,360 --> 00:01:52,278 as a potential relationship? 18 00:01:52,362 --> 00:01:54,947 'Cause I don't want to spend my twilight years alone like you, Drama. 19 00:01:55,032 --> 00:01:56,741 E loves falling in love. 20 00:01:56,825 --> 00:01:58,951 E is a nesting creature. What's the big deal? 21 00:01:59,036 --> 00:02:00,787 'Cause it's not natural for a male, 22 00:02:00,871 --> 00:02:02,497 is the big deal. 23 00:02:02,706 --> 00:02:04,707 I'm not a nesting creature. 24 00:02:04,917 --> 00:02:06,125 Really? 25 00:02:06,251 --> 00:02:07,710 Name one girl 26 00:02:08,253 --> 00:02:10,671 you've ever had unemotional sex with. 27 00:02:10,756 --> 00:02:11,881 Ever. 28 00:02:14,885 --> 00:02:16,219 Lori Wolcott. 29 00:02:16,303 --> 00:02:17,887 (IMITATES BUZZER) You sent her flowers 30 00:02:17,971 --> 00:02:19,639 and chocolates and refused to leave your house 31 00:02:19,723 --> 00:02:21,057 'cause she wouldn't be your valentine. 32 00:02:21,141 --> 00:02:22,683 I didn't leave my house 'cause I had chicken pox, you loser. 33 00:02:22,768 --> 00:02:24,393 Wolcott don't count, E. 34 00:02:24,728 --> 00:02:26,896 All right, fine, what about the "Perfect 10" model from Australia? 35 00:02:27,314 --> 00:02:29,690 If I'm not mistaken, you didn't fuck her... She fucked you. 36 00:02:29,775 --> 00:02:32,026 Not to mention that you called her for two months after 37 00:02:32,110 --> 00:02:33,194 and the only reason it ended was 38 00:02:33,278 --> 00:02:34,654 'cause she couldn't get her citizenship. 39 00:02:34,738 --> 00:02:36,322 I don't have to prove anything to you guys. 40 00:02:36,406 --> 00:02:38,366 Don't be mad, E. It's not our fault 41 00:02:38,450 --> 00:02:40,535 you were born without the sport-fucking gene. 42 00:02:40,619 --> 00:02:42,328 Come on, guys, I can't just stand here 43 00:02:42,412 --> 00:02:43,955 and let you harass my boy. 44 00:02:44,039 --> 00:02:45,873 I know he can have unemotional sex. 45 00:02:45,958 --> 00:02:47,375 He just chooses not to. 46 00:02:47,459 --> 00:02:50,211 In fact, I'll bet he can get some before the both of you two. 47 00:02:50,295 --> 00:02:51,504 Please. 48 00:02:51,588 --> 00:02:53,130 I'm a celebrity again, bro. 49 00:02:53,215 --> 00:02:54,966 I could get laid at a funeral. 50 00:02:55,050 --> 00:02:57,343 And that would be unemotional for you or the dead girl? 51 00:02:57,427 --> 00:02:58,678 Funny, E, 52 00:02:58,846 --> 00:03:00,513 but being a student of human nature 53 00:03:00,597 --> 00:03:02,181 and knowing a leopard can't change its spots, 54 00:03:02,266 --> 00:03:03,975 I've come to accept you for what you are. 55 00:03:04,059 --> 00:03:05,351 - What's that? - A pussy! 56 00:03:05,435 --> 00:03:06,769 Such a pussy, in fact, 57 00:03:06,854 --> 00:03:08,437 I bet Turtle could close a broad quicker. 58 00:03:08,522 --> 00:03:10,815 Oh okay, that's it. You're trying to tell me 59 00:03:10,899 --> 00:03:12,567 that Turtle can get laid quicker than I can? 60 00:03:12,651 --> 00:03:15,444 No, I think he can bring himself to do it quicker than you can. 61 00:03:15,779 --> 00:03:17,697 I'm so positive, in fact, 62 00:03:17,781 --> 00:03:20,283 I'm willing to wager five of my hard-earned G's 63 00:03:20,367 --> 00:03:23,077 that Turtle can close a girl today, before you. 64 00:03:23,161 --> 00:03:25,079 Johnny, are you serious? 65 00:03:25,789 --> 00:03:27,999 These eyes look like I'm bluffing, bro? 66 00:03:28,083 --> 00:03:30,251 You're on. Come on, I'm taking E under my wing. 67 00:03:30,335 --> 00:03:32,253 And I'm taking Turtle under mine. 68 00:03:32,337 --> 00:03:34,255 - All right. - I ain't betting on this. 69 00:03:34,339 --> 00:03:36,215 And I'm not searching out a girl just to fuck her. 70 00:03:36,300 --> 00:03:37,884 - Why not? - 'Cause it's mean. 71 00:03:37,968 --> 00:03:39,260 No no no no. 72 00:03:39,344 --> 00:03:42,388 Mean is when I made Jess Mancini ride her bike home 73 00:03:42,472 --> 00:03:44,348 after I ass-fucked her. 74 00:03:44,433 --> 00:03:46,976 Trust me, E, if you're able to find the girl 75 00:03:47,060 --> 00:03:48,269 who's willing to day-fuck you, 76 00:03:48,353 --> 00:03:50,479 she's using you as much as you're using her. 77 00:03:50,772 --> 00:03:52,440 It's 2007. Wake up, pussy. 78 00:03:52,524 --> 00:03:54,150 Oh he's up, and he's in! 79 00:03:54,484 --> 00:03:56,652 - Whatever. - So what are the rules? 80 00:03:57,154 --> 00:03:58,779 It's got to be a complete stranger, 81 00:03:58,864 --> 00:04:00,156 and he can't call her after. 82 00:04:00,240 --> 00:04:02,325 All right, well, it's got to be free. He can't pay or barter. 83 00:04:02,784 --> 00:04:04,702 - Jesus. - Sorry, Turtle. 84 00:04:05,329 --> 00:04:06,537 On the good Chase name, then. 85 00:04:06,622 --> 00:04:08,581 On the good Chase name. Come on, E. 86 00:04:08,665 --> 00:04:10,666 Let's go win us a ribbon. 87 00:04:11,335 --> 00:04:12,418 Catch you guys later. 88 00:04:12,502 --> 00:04:14,462 How am I supposed to get laid before the end of the day? 89 00:04:14,838 --> 00:04:17,465 Relax, Turtle, old Johnny Boy's gonna take you to a place 90 00:04:17,549 --> 00:04:19,550 where even a one-eyed leper can get laid. 91 00:04:19,635 --> 00:04:21,761 - Where's that? - Craigslist. 92 00:04:24,723 --> 00:04:27,683 Hey, good to see you. All right, high five... 93 00:04:27,976 --> 00:04:29,226 MRS. ARl: All right, so I'm gonna pick you up 94 00:04:29,311 --> 00:04:30,645 after soccer practice. 95 00:04:31,355 --> 00:04:33,105 You've got my cell phone in case you run late. 96 00:04:33,190 --> 00:04:34,690 Okay great, thank you. Bye, Daddy. 97 00:04:34,775 --> 00:04:36,317 - Later, traitor! - Ari! 98 00:04:36,401 --> 00:04:38,277 - Daddy! - I'm kidding. I love you, baby. 99 00:04:38,362 --> 00:04:40,780 - I know you do, Daddy. - I could so jump this curb right now. 100 00:04:40,864 --> 00:04:42,448 Well, Ari, you may hate this place, 101 00:04:42,532 --> 00:04:44,450 but our daughter still has to go here. 102 00:04:44,534 --> 00:04:45,534 Yeah. 103 00:04:46,495 --> 00:04:47,870 Mr. Preston! 104 00:04:49,122 --> 00:04:51,165 Oh, Mr. And Mrs. Gold, how are you? 105 00:04:51,249 --> 00:04:52,792 Well, not so good. 106 00:04:52,876 --> 00:04:55,503 Yeah, our son got rejected from every private school in town. 107 00:04:55,587 --> 00:04:56,963 Oh, I'm sorry to hear that. 108 00:04:57,047 --> 00:05:00,883 Yeah. They didn't happen to call you about us, did they? 109 00:05:00,968 --> 00:05:02,802 Well, we all stay in touch. 110 00:05:02,886 --> 00:05:05,638 I'm asked questions and I answer them honestly. 111 00:05:05,722 --> 00:05:08,766 'Course you do. All right, well, we're off to see another public school. 112 00:05:08,850 --> 00:05:09,976 Well, that's not so bad. 113 00:05:10,060 --> 00:05:11,894 You know, I'm a product of the public school system. 114 00:05:11,979 --> 00:05:13,020 Me too! 115 00:05:13,397 --> 00:05:15,481 You self-righteous, blackballing little cuntbag bitch motherfucker. 116 00:05:15,565 --> 00:05:19,026 - Well, a nice day to both of you! - Asshole fuckface... 117 00:05:19,861 --> 00:05:21,612 (POP MUSIC PLAYING) 118 00:05:27,661 --> 00:05:28,661 - Hey, Vince. - Hey, Jimmy. 119 00:05:28,745 --> 00:05:30,037 - Same spot as usual? - That'd be great, thanks. 120 00:05:30,122 --> 00:05:31,122 Awesome. 121 00:05:31,248 --> 00:05:32,540 So, what do you think? 122 00:05:32,624 --> 00:05:34,875 I think this is retarded, I really do. 123 00:05:34,960 --> 00:05:36,627 I mean, who hits on girls on weekdays? 124 00:05:36,712 --> 00:05:38,546 E, it's L.A. Every day's a weekend. 125 00:05:38,630 --> 00:05:40,673 Now just relax, look around, 126 00:05:40,757 --> 00:05:42,508 and let the game come to you. 127 00:05:42,592 --> 00:05:46,220 Hey, Vince. Those girls over there would like to buy you guys a drink. 128 00:05:46,304 --> 00:05:49,098 Or to me and then to you, through me. 129 00:05:49,641 --> 00:05:52,393 - Thank you, that'd be great. - All right. 130 00:05:55,272 --> 00:05:58,149 "Horny Heifer Seeks Backdoor Lover." 131 00:05:58,608 --> 00:06:00,985 - TURTLE: Oh, pass! - What do you mean, pass? 132 00:06:01,069 --> 00:06:02,194 This isn't about having fun, Turtle. 133 00:06:02,279 --> 00:06:04,530 - It's about winning the cash. - How much am I getting? 134 00:06:04,990 --> 00:06:06,407 For her? 20%. 135 00:06:06,575 --> 00:06:07,783 Phht. Pass. 136 00:06:08,118 --> 00:06:11,287 How about a "Chick with a Plus-Sized Clit" for 30? 137 00:06:12,039 --> 00:06:13,122 That's a pass. 138 00:06:13,623 --> 00:06:14,665 What then? 139 00:06:14,750 --> 00:06:16,459 Slide over, let me scroll. 140 00:06:19,796 --> 00:06:22,298 Ah, see? This is a little more my speed. 141 00:06:22,382 --> 00:06:26,177 "Prom Queen Hottie Seeks Short, Cute and Cuddly 20-Something 142 00:06:26,261 --> 00:06:27,553 to Fulfill All Her Fantasies." 143 00:06:27,637 --> 00:06:29,055 Sounds perfect. 144 00:06:29,264 --> 00:06:30,973 Yeah, it's too perfect, she must be a pig. 145 00:06:31,641 --> 00:06:33,934 Call her or I'm calling the heifer. 146 00:06:36,480 --> 00:06:37,813 (GROANS) 147 00:06:39,566 --> 00:06:41,067 Put it on speaker. 148 00:06:41,151 --> 00:06:42,526 (RINGING) 149 00:06:42,736 --> 00:06:44,820 - GIRL: Hello? - Is this Kelsey? 150 00:06:44,905 --> 00:06:46,197 Yes, who's this? 151 00:06:46,490 --> 00:06:47,823 I'm calling about your ad. 152 00:06:47,908 --> 00:06:49,200 What about it? 153 00:06:49,576 --> 00:06:51,494 I think I could fulfill your needs. 154 00:06:51,578 --> 00:06:53,412 Oh, yeah? Well, what do you look like? 155 00:06:53,497 --> 00:06:56,123 - What do you look like? - Time is of the essence, Turtle. 156 00:06:56,374 --> 00:06:58,209 How many of you are there? 157 00:06:58,335 --> 00:06:59,502 Just me. 158 00:06:59,586 --> 00:07:01,712 'Cause you know, I'm not looking for a gang bang. 159 00:07:02,339 --> 00:07:05,925 It's just me... One short, cuddly 20-something. 160 00:07:06,009 --> 00:07:07,134 Just what you say you wanted. 161 00:07:07,219 --> 00:07:09,804 Okay. Be at Cafee Primo on Sunset in 30. 162 00:07:10,388 --> 00:07:13,265 Wear a red hat. If I like what I see, I'll say hi. 163 00:07:13,350 --> 00:07:14,600 And if you don't? 164 00:07:14,684 --> 00:07:16,352 Then I won't. (HANGS UP) 165 00:07:16,520 --> 00:07:18,354 - Yes! - This is a nightmare. 166 00:07:18,438 --> 00:07:21,148 No no, it's perfect. And if you close her in the parking lot, 167 00:07:21,233 --> 00:07:23,442 the lattes are on me! Come on! 168 00:07:26,279 --> 00:07:27,905 (ALL SCREAMING) 169 00:07:38,208 --> 00:07:39,416 You gotta be kidding me. 170 00:07:39,501 --> 00:07:41,836 It's play time, Ari. This is what kids do when they play. 171 00:07:41,920 --> 00:07:44,630 This is what inmates do when they're gonna overtake the guards. 172 00:07:44,714 --> 00:07:45,798 Ari! 173 00:07:45,966 --> 00:07:47,383 I mean, is there even a teacher here, 174 00:07:47,467 --> 00:07:49,009 or did they lose them to cutbacks? 175 00:07:49,177 --> 00:07:51,387 - I know karate! - I know, I saw you kicking 176 00:07:51,471 --> 00:07:53,472 that little red-headed boy over there when he wasn't looking. 177 00:07:53,557 --> 00:07:55,391 That wasn't very... Aah! 178 00:07:56,726 --> 00:07:58,185 (BELL RINGING) 179 00:07:58,270 --> 00:08:00,312 No way is my son going to that school. 180 00:08:00,397 --> 00:08:01,605 No way! 181 00:08:01,773 --> 00:08:03,524 Well, Ari, we don't have much choice. 182 00:08:03,984 --> 00:08:05,317 So stop being so dramatic. 183 00:08:05,402 --> 00:08:07,069 Dramatic? Why should I be dramatic? 184 00:08:07,154 --> 00:08:09,989 It's every father's dream to have his son participate 185 00:08:10,073 --> 00:08:11,949 - in a kindergarten fatwa. - What are you doing? 186 00:08:12,033 --> 00:08:14,285 I'm taking care of business the way I should have taken care of business 187 00:08:14,411 --> 00:08:15,411 from the start! 188 00:08:15,495 --> 00:08:17,496 Lloyd, yeah, call our special friend 189 00:08:17,581 --> 00:08:19,248 and set the usual meeting place. 190 00:08:19,332 --> 00:08:20,332 Who is your "special friend"? 191 00:08:20,417 --> 00:08:23,210 Don't worry baby, I'm not gonna get a hoo-hoo! 192 00:08:23,753 --> 00:08:27,673 Wow, you girls are from London and that happens to be E's favorite city. 193 00:08:27,799 --> 00:08:29,425 - Really? - Yeah. 194 00:08:29,759 --> 00:08:31,510 It may just beat out Düsseldorf. 195 00:08:31,595 --> 00:08:34,054 I love Düsseldorf. Where do you stay when you're there? 196 00:08:34,181 --> 00:08:36,348 I'm only kidding. I've never been to Düsseldorf. 197 00:08:36,433 --> 00:08:37,474 Oh. 198 00:08:38,518 --> 00:08:40,603 - But you have been to London? - Oh yeah, several times. 199 00:08:40,687 --> 00:08:43,480 We stay at the Marriott. It's pretty cool. 200 00:08:44,065 --> 00:08:45,608 (LAUGHS) So... 201 00:08:46,318 --> 00:08:47,735 What are you girls doing in the States? 202 00:08:47,819 --> 00:08:50,112 - We're here on business. - What kind of business are you in? 203 00:08:50,197 --> 00:08:52,573 - I design linens. - And I'm her top sales rep. 204 00:08:52,657 --> 00:08:53,782 Nice. 205 00:08:54,618 --> 00:08:56,785 They're incredibly soft, the linens. 206 00:08:56,870 --> 00:08:57,953 VINCE: Oh yeah? 207 00:08:58,038 --> 00:08:59,663 Yeah. I could show them to you. 208 00:08:59,748 --> 00:09:01,832 Perhaps if you like them, you could spread the word. 209 00:09:01,958 --> 00:09:04,376 You know, it never hurts to have a celebrity endorser. 210 00:09:04,628 --> 00:09:07,671 Well, I could never endorse a product that I didn't actually use. 211 00:09:07,797 --> 00:09:10,007 You would use these, I'm sure. 212 00:09:10,133 --> 00:09:12,301 Come, I'll show you a sample. 213 00:09:13,136 --> 00:09:15,179 - You okay? - They're fine. 214 00:09:15,263 --> 00:09:17,097 Heather runs my entire company. 215 00:09:17,182 --> 00:09:19,808 She can certainly look after one shy American boy. 216 00:09:20,268 --> 00:09:21,393 - Shy. - Ta-ta. 217 00:09:21,478 --> 00:09:22,686 (CHUCKLES) 218 00:09:22,771 --> 00:09:24,480 - I'm not shy. - No? 219 00:09:25,440 --> 00:09:27,274 How would you describe yourself then? 220 00:09:27,359 --> 00:09:29,735 - Maybe a little shy. - (HEATHER LAUGHS) 221 00:09:29,819 --> 00:09:32,446 That's okay. It's adorable. 222 00:09:35,951 --> 00:09:37,743 Excuse me. Hey. 223 00:09:37,827 --> 00:09:39,203 You wouldn't happen to be Kelsey, would you? 224 00:09:39,287 --> 00:09:41,288 Even if I was, I'd say no. 225 00:09:42,374 --> 00:09:44,333 That's just rude, honey. 226 00:09:45,835 --> 00:09:48,545 - That ain't her. - Who the hell is she? 227 00:09:48,630 --> 00:09:51,340 You could have railed the heifer and the plus-sized clit by now. 228 00:09:51,758 --> 00:09:53,133 You Turtle? 229 00:09:53,510 --> 00:09:55,344 - Uh-huh. - I'm Kelsey. 230 00:09:57,013 --> 00:09:58,264 Who's he? 231 00:09:59,099 --> 00:10:00,641 He's my driver. 232 00:10:00,809 --> 00:10:01,809 Could you make him wait in the car? 233 00:10:01,893 --> 00:10:03,769 The way he's staring at me, it's giving me the willies. 234 00:10:04,521 --> 00:10:05,854 Run along. 235 00:10:07,482 --> 00:10:08,565 So... 236 00:10:09,067 --> 00:10:10,734 What do we do now? 237 00:10:11,194 --> 00:10:12,945 Well, I like what I see. 238 00:10:13,029 --> 00:10:14,613 - Really? - Yeah. 239 00:10:15,865 --> 00:10:17,283 You got good padding. 240 00:10:17,367 --> 00:10:18,701 You'll do just fine. 241 00:10:19,744 --> 00:10:22,413 So, what kind of fantasies are we gonna be fulfilling? 242 00:10:22,497 --> 00:10:26,041 You'll find out later. First go to Fazio Cleaners on Rexford. 243 00:10:26,126 --> 00:10:27,293 Pick that up for me. 244 00:10:27,377 --> 00:10:28,961 You want me to pick up your dry cleaning? 245 00:10:29,045 --> 00:10:30,796 - Is that a problem? - No no. 246 00:10:30,880 --> 00:10:32,631 If we're really gonna be living out some kind of fantasy, 247 00:10:32,716 --> 00:10:34,758 it wouldn't be a problem for me to clean your whole house. 248 00:10:34,843 --> 00:10:36,427 Don't be desperate. It's gross. 249 00:10:37,721 --> 00:10:39,388 Here's my address. 250 00:10:41,558 --> 00:10:43,809 Be there at 9:00 p.m., and don't be late. 251 00:10:43,893 --> 00:10:45,561 I hate tardiness. 252 00:10:47,397 --> 00:10:49,189 (ROCK MUSIC BLARING) 253 00:10:57,073 --> 00:10:59,199 You know, Ari, we meet so often 254 00:10:59,284 --> 00:11:01,994 that if another P.I. Was following me, he'd think we were fucking. 255 00:11:02,078 --> 00:11:03,662 Well if another P.I. Was following you, 256 00:11:03,747 --> 00:11:05,581 then I would be fucked. 257 00:11:06,207 --> 00:11:07,583 So what can I do for you today? 258 00:11:07,667 --> 00:11:09,668 I need one of your 24-7 tails. 259 00:11:09,753 --> 00:11:12,838 This one has to be on the extreme, extreme D.L. 260 00:11:12,922 --> 00:11:15,841 So you mean more extreme than when you had me follow Kate Beckinsale 261 00:11:15,925 --> 00:11:17,509 to see if she was gonna fire her agent? 262 00:11:17,594 --> 00:11:19,678 More extreme and more discreet. 263 00:11:19,763 --> 00:11:23,140 If anyone finds out about this, it could be very, very embarrassing. 264 00:11:23,224 --> 00:11:24,808 Mm-hm. All right. 265 00:11:25,935 --> 00:11:27,603 Who's the subject? 266 00:11:27,687 --> 00:11:30,022 Andrew Preston. He is the head administrator 267 00:11:30,106 --> 00:11:32,941 of the Briar Country Day School. 268 00:11:35,612 --> 00:11:37,404 (RAP MUSIC PLAYING) 269 00:11:38,323 --> 00:11:41,116 Do you think it was rude of us leaving them alone like that? 270 00:11:41,451 --> 00:11:43,077 Are you kidding? The way they were hitting it off, 271 00:11:43,161 --> 00:11:44,411 it would have been rude of us to stay. 272 00:11:45,413 --> 00:11:46,789 Good point. 273 00:11:47,874 --> 00:11:49,124 (MOANS) 274 00:11:50,710 --> 00:11:52,586 So, you guys have a suite? 275 00:11:52,670 --> 00:11:56,131 Yeah, it sucks. Juliette and I have to share a tiny little bed together. 276 00:11:56,216 --> 00:11:57,341 Really? 277 00:11:57,425 --> 00:11:58,884 (CHUCKLING) Does that turn you on? 278 00:11:58,968 --> 00:12:00,552 No. I was just... 279 00:12:01,096 --> 00:12:02,721 We are here on business, Eric. 280 00:12:02,806 --> 00:12:04,723 The company paid for my own room and everything. 281 00:12:04,808 --> 00:12:06,141 No, I wasn't saying that. I just... 282 00:12:06,226 --> 00:12:07,643 I was just asking. I'm sorry. 283 00:12:07,769 --> 00:12:09,895 No, I'm just playing. There's no need to apologize. 284 00:12:09,979 --> 00:12:11,146 Sorry. 285 00:12:15,110 --> 00:12:16,735 - Do I make you nervous? - No. 286 00:12:16,820 --> 00:12:18,904 So you're just nervous usually? 287 00:12:18,988 --> 00:12:20,447 - Do I seem nervous to you? - You do. 288 00:12:20,532 --> 00:12:21,907 You know, I have a very stressful job. 289 00:12:21,991 --> 00:12:23,033 I actually need another drink. 290 00:12:23,118 --> 00:12:24,868 I haven't seen the waitress around forever. 291 00:12:25,161 --> 00:12:27,371 - Do you need anything? - Yeah. You want another drink? 292 00:12:28,623 --> 00:12:30,624 - Four shots of tequila, please. - With limes. 293 00:12:30,708 --> 00:12:32,709 - Of course. - Laugh at me. Look, I may use limes, 294 00:12:32,794 --> 00:12:34,128 but I will drink you under the table. 295 00:12:34,212 --> 00:12:36,338 Now we're getting somewhere. 296 00:12:37,048 --> 00:12:38,590 ERIC: Holy shit. 297 00:12:39,008 --> 00:12:40,342 Oh, Jesus. 298 00:12:41,594 --> 00:12:43,220 SLOAN: Oh my God. Let me call you back. 299 00:12:43,304 --> 00:12:45,556 Be right back. Hey. 300 00:12:46,349 --> 00:12:47,433 Hey. 301 00:12:49,185 --> 00:12:51,437 Um, you're back. 302 00:12:51,521 --> 00:12:53,313 Yeah yeah. For a few weeks now. 303 00:12:53,690 --> 00:12:54,940 I didn't know. 304 00:12:55,024 --> 00:12:57,985 Well, I figured I shouldn't call you. You told me not to call, so... 305 00:12:58,111 --> 00:12:59,528 Yeah, right. 306 00:13:01,364 --> 00:13:02,656 I'm sorry, hi. 307 00:13:02,740 --> 00:13:03,782 Hi. 308 00:13:03,867 --> 00:13:06,285 You know what? That's my bad. Sloan, this is Juliette. 309 00:13:06,369 --> 00:13:08,287 - Heather. - Wow, really... 310 00:13:08,371 --> 00:13:10,789 Uh, Juliette is Heather's friend and she's... 311 00:13:10,874 --> 00:13:12,708 She's with Vince somewhere. 312 00:13:13,084 --> 00:13:14,626 - Sloan. - Heather. 313 00:13:14,711 --> 00:13:17,337 - Right. Nice to meet you. - You too. 314 00:13:19,549 --> 00:13:21,675 Uh, well, I should get going. 315 00:13:21,801 --> 00:13:22,885 - Well. - Good to see you, Eric. 316 00:13:22,969 --> 00:13:24,553 - I'll see you soon, right? Okay. - Yeah. 317 00:13:24,762 --> 00:13:26,388 - Let me... - Yeah, okay. 318 00:13:26,681 --> 00:13:27,723 - Okay. - Bye. 319 00:13:27,807 --> 00:13:29,057 See you. 320 00:13:30,727 --> 00:13:31,810 Your ex. 321 00:13:31,895 --> 00:13:33,395 Yeah, was it that obvious? 322 00:13:33,480 --> 00:13:35,397 Uh-huh. She's pretty. 323 00:13:36,274 --> 00:13:38,150 Why'd you guys break up? 324 00:13:38,234 --> 00:13:40,027 'Cause I'm an idiot. 325 00:13:44,032 --> 00:13:46,492 So what kind of fantasy involves me picking up her dry cleaning? 326 00:13:46,576 --> 00:13:49,411 Huh? Maybe she wants me to be her little errand boy. 327 00:13:49,537 --> 00:13:51,246 I don't know, but I'll bet she'll be disappointed 328 00:13:51,331 --> 00:13:53,373 when she finds out you're already Vince's. 329 00:13:53,625 --> 00:13:55,250 Maybe she's into S&M. 330 00:13:55,543 --> 00:13:57,753 Maybe she's even a dominatrix. 331 00:13:58,129 --> 00:13:59,630 You better hope not, Turtle. 332 00:13:59,714 --> 00:14:01,924 Because dominatrix don't fuck. 333 00:14:02,258 --> 00:14:04,593 If you don't get laid, I don't get paid. 334 00:14:04,677 --> 00:14:06,094 Drama, don't you worry. 335 00:14:06,179 --> 00:14:07,471 Unless she wants to shit on me or something, 336 00:14:07,555 --> 00:14:10,432 there is no fetish that'll keep me from getting with that little hottie. 337 00:14:10,558 --> 00:14:12,100 That's the spirit. 338 00:14:12,435 --> 00:14:14,520 - (DRAMA LAUGHS) - What the fuck is this? 339 00:14:14,604 --> 00:14:16,772 Yes, I love it. My bet is safe. 340 00:14:16,981 --> 00:14:18,899 Oh, this means something to you, Drama? 341 00:14:18,983 --> 00:14:20,150 Oh yeah. 342 00:14:20,235 --> 00:14:22,152 It means you got a furry, bro. 343 00:14:22,737 --> 00:14:24,363 What the fuck's a furry? 344 00:14:24,531 --> 00:14:28,158 Someone who wants to fuck you like you're a stuffed animal. 345 00:14:29,661 --> 00:14:30,869 (ELEVATOR DINGS) 346 00:14:31,162 --> 00:14:32,955 Jesus, baby, what's wrong? You sound worse 347 00:14:33,039 --> 00:14:35,332 than when Harry Hamlin got voted off "Dancing with the Stars." 348 00:14:35,416 --> 00:14:37,417 Audra Hornig's son just got accepted to Briar. 349 00:14:37,502 --> 00:14:39,086 Is that the kid that already has chest hairs? 350 00:14:39,170 --> 00:14:42,297 Ari, he's your son's best friend. Jonah's gonna be devastated 351 00:14:42,382 --> 00:14:43,715 when he finds out they're not going to school together. 352 00:14:43,800 --> 00:14:45,884 Baby, don't worry. They will be going to school together. 353 00:14:45,969 --> 00:14:48,762 - Your man is handling it. - My man is gonna be handling himself 354 00:14:48,846 --> 00:14:50,222 for the next decade if he doesn't stop 355 00:14:50,306 --> 00:14:52,516 playing it so cool and tell me what he's up to. 356 00:14:52,600 --> 00:14:54,685 This is like "The Godfather," baby. 357 00:14:54,769 --> 00:14:57,020 There are certain times you just can't ask me about my business. 358 00:14:57,105 --> 00:14:58,146 But please, don't worry. 359 00:14:58,231 --> 00:14:59,439 Don't tell me not to worry, Ari. 360 00:14:59,524 --> 00:15:00,983 Our special friend is on the phone. 361 00:15:01,693 --> 00:15:03,151 I gotta go. It's all good, baby. 362 00:15:03,236 --> 00:15:05,279 Ari, you are such a fucker! 363 00:15:06,239 --> 00:15:07,781 (PHONE BEEPS) 364 00:15:09,117 --> 00:15:10,242 Talk to me, Eddie. 365 00:15:10,326 --> 00:15:13,036 - Can you come to my office? - On my way. 366 00:15:16,207 --> 00:15:17,958 - Good news, Ari? - Don't ask questions, Lloyd, 367 00:15:18,042 --> 00:15:20,586 not until you stop dressing like Paula Poundstone. 368 00:15:22,839 --> 00:15:24,798 Who is Paula Poundstone? 369 00:15:25,091 --> 00:15:28,093 (LAUGHING) Yeah well, you know nothing gets a girl hot 370 00:15:28,177 --> 00:15:30,095 like listening to a guy mope about his ex. 371 00:15:30,179 --> 00:15:31,680 Hey, she was a good listener. 372 00:15:31,764 --> 00:15:32,889 So what do we tell the boys? 373 00:15:32,974 --> 00:15:35,434 Tell 'em if not for unforeseen events, I had her. It was a done deal. 374 00:15:35,518 --> 00:15:37,060 Yeah, I don't think that counts as a win. 375 00:15:37,145 --> 00:15:38,437 Whatever, it would have been. 376 00:15:38,521 --> 00:15:40,647 - So you're not gonna call her? - Who, Sloan or Heather? 377 00:15:41,149 --> 00:15:42,733 - Why would you call Sloan? - I don't know, to talk. 378 00:15:42,817 --> 00:15:43,817 It seemed like she wanted to. 379 00:15:43,901 --> 00:15:45,277 I mean, we did leave things a little unfinished. 380 00:15:45,361 --> 00:15:47,029 When you broke up with her, I think it was finished. 381 00:15:47,655 --> 00:15:49,364 - She broke up with me. - Yeah, but you made her. 382 00:15:49,449 --> 00:15:51,325 You're not feeling bad about it now, are you? 383 00:15:51,409 --> 00:15:52,868 I've been feeling bad about it for months. 384 00:15:52,952 --> 00:15:55,203 E, what has this day been all about? 385 00:15:55,288 --> 00:15:57,456 (SIGHS) I don't know, Vince. You tell me. 386 00:15:57,540 --> 00:15:59,708 Your inability to be unemotional. 387 00:15:59,792 --> 00:16:02,336 You just ran into Sloan and you're feeling things. 388 00:16:02,420 --> 00:16:04,212 Maybe real, maybe not. 389 00:16:04,380 --> 00:16:06,048 You really want to win this bet, huh? 390 00:16:06,132 --> 00:16:07,758 No, look, forget about the bet. 391 00:16:07,842 --> 00:16:09,926 What you need is a night to think about what you want. 392 00:16:10,011 --> 00:16:12,304 So sleep on it. Or sleep on Heather. 393 00:16:12,388 --> 00:16:14,514 - Your choice. - She was hot. 394 00:16:14,599 --> 00:16:17,142 There you go. See, why don't I call Juliette 395 00:16:17,226 --> 00:16:18,977 and the four of us will go out and have a good time? 396 00:16:19,062 --> 00:16:21,063 You're gonna call a girl after you've fucked her? 397 00:16:21,147 --> 00:16:24,066 Look, I liked her. And I'm not in on the bet. 398 00:16:24,817 --> 00:16:27,653 TURTLE: I feel like a moron, Drama. This thing doesn't even fit! 399 00:16:27,737 --> 00:16:29,404 What, am I supposed to put my dick through this hole? 400 00:16:29,489 --> 00:16:31,448 - What if it gets stuck? - What the hell, is it Easter? 401 00:16:31,532 --> 00:16:33,325 Hey guys, maybe we weren't clear on the rules, 402 00:16:33,409 --> 00:16:35,494 but role-playing and fucking each other doesn't count. 403 00:16:35,578 --> 00:16:37,496 - (VINCE LAUGHS) - Please, my man here 404 00:16:37,580 --> 00:16:39,915 is getting ready to fuck a real live woman. 405 00:16:39,999 --> 00:16:41,500 Win me five G's. 406 00:16:42,210 --> 00:16:44,920 Unless by some miracle, E already got laid. 407 00:16:45,254 --> 00:16:46,672 Please tell me you got laid, E. 408 00:16:46,756 --> 00:16:48,757 - It's in the works. - Jesus! 409 00:16:48,925 --> 00:16:51,510 DRAMA: Quit your whining, Turtle, and consider yourself lucky. 410 00:16:51,594 --> 00:16:53,804 A girl like that is a goddess in the furry community. 411 00:16:53,888 --> 00:16:55,013 You're gonna fuck in that? 412 00:16:55,098 --> 00:16:57,724 Actually, furr-ophiles refer to it as "boinking." 413 00:16:57,809 --> 00:16:58,934 (VINCE LAUGHS) 414 00:16:59,018 --> 00:17:01,603 Wow, Turtle, this is freaky even for me. 415 00:17:02,146 --> 00:17:03,355 Don't let 'em get in your head, Turtle. 416 00:17:03,439 --> 00:17:04,856 Furries are people, too. 417 00:17:04,941 --> 00:17:06,775 And all people need to get laid. 418 00:17:07,193 --> 00:17:10,278 Except that whack job, who only needs a good book, 419 00:17:10,363 --> 00:17:12,155 a cup of tea and a nice long hug. 420 00:17:12,240 --> 00:17:13,865 You're helping Bugs Bunny string his dick 421 00:17:13,950 --> 00:17:15,283 through a hole and I'm a whack job? 422 00:17:15,368 --> 00:17:16,451 (LAUGHING) 423 00:17:16,536 --> 00:17:18,036 Why don't you just tell us what you have in the works 424 00:17:18,121 --> 00:17:21,498 that's gonna win this bet before my "plushious" little friend here. 425 00:17:21,874 --> 00:17:23,250 E's got a hot British chick 426 00:17:23,334 --> 00:17:25,252 just waiting for him to call. 427 00:17:25,336 --> 00:17:28,338 British? Please. They're too stuffy to fuck that fast. 428 00:17:28,423 --> 00:17:29,673 Yeah, well her friend wasn't. 429 00:17:29,757 --> 00:17:31,717 - You got laid, Vin? - Yeah, I had a nice afternoon. 430 00:17:31,801 --> 00:17:34,469 Hm. So how come E couldn't close, then? 431 00:17:34,804 --> 00:17:37,305 He hit a little road bump, but he's coming back from it. 432 00:17:37,390 --> 00:17:38,640 Actually, Vince, no I'm not. 433 00:17:38,850 --> 00:17:40,517 - You're gonna call Sloan? - Yep. 434 00:17:40,601 --> 00:17:42,394 He can't fuck Sloan. That's against the rules. 435 00:17:42,478 --> 00:17:44,438 No, he ran into her when he was talking to the Brit. 436 00:17:45,481 --> 00:17:46,815 The kid's got some shit luck. 437 00:17:46,983 --> 00:17:49,234 - TURTLE: So this means the bet's off. - Off? 438 00:17:49,318 --> 00:17:51,695 It's a forfeit, and a forfeit results in a loss, 439 00:17:51,779 --> 00:17:53,739 and a loss is gonna cost you five G's, bro. 440 00:17:53,823 --> 00:17:58,160 All right, Johnny. I couldn't possibly let Turtle go through with it anyway. 441 00:17:58,244 --> 00:17:59,745 Love you, Vin. 442 00:18:01,289 --> 00:18:03,331 You do realize you forfeit your cut too, Turtle. 443 00:18:03,416 --> 00:18:04,416 Hmm! 444 00:18:04,500 --> 00:18:05,500 (PHONE RINGING) 445 00:18:09,297 --> 00:18:11,047 - Hello? - ERIC: Hey. 446 00:18:11,215 --> 00:18:12,966 - Hey. - How are you? 447 00:18:13,092 --> 00:18:14,593 - Eric? - Yeah. 448 00:18:14,844 --> 00:18:16,219 - Hi. - Hi. 449 00:18:19,682 --> 00:18:22,225 Uh, look, I just wanted to explain... 450 00:18:22,310 --> 00:18:23,852 About today at the pool. 451 00:18:23,936 --> 00:18:26,062 I mean, I just met that girl. I don't even know her. 452 00:18:26,147 --> 00:18:30,358 Eric, we're not together anymore, so you don't owe me any explanations. 453 00:18:30,485 --> 00:18:32,611 I know, I know. I was just... 454 00:18:32,904 --> 00:18:34,112 I was just thinking. 455 00:18:34,197 --> 00:18:35,572 About what? 456 00:18:37,408 --> 00:18:38,408 About us. 457 00:18:38,493 --> 00:18:40,869 Eric, I told you there would be no more "us" 458 00:18:40,953 --> 00:18:42,662 if you went to Italy for three months 459 00:18:42,747 --> 00:18:44,498 after being away on the movie for six. 460 00:18:44,582 --> 00:18:45,707 I know, I screwed up. 461 00:18:45,792 --> 00:18:48,376 Okay, but could we go to dinner or something? Talk about it? 462 00:18:50,755 --> 00:18:53,590 Eric, I met someone. 463 00:18:54,008 --> 00:18:55,050 Wow. 464 00:18:56,010 --> 00:18:57,219 Really? 465 00:19:01,224 --> 00:19:02,516 - Oh, oops! - Ari! 466 00:19:02,600 --> 00:19:05,060 There he is! The baddest dick since Johnny Wadd. 467 00:19:05,144 --> 00:19:06,394 Hey, Ari. 468 00:19:06,521 --> 00:19:08,605 I want to introduce you to one of our associates. 469 00:19:08,689 --> 00:19:10,690 - This is Frank Giovanello. - What have I got here? 470 00:19:10,775 --> 00:19:12,943 Two dicks for the price of one. I love it. 471 00:19:13,027 --> 00:19:14,027 Hey, listen, as it turns out, 472 00:19:14,111 --> 00:19:16,613 Frank over here was hired by another unhappy couple 473 00:19:16,697 --> 00:19:18,740 to dig up the dirt on your headmaster Preston, 474 00:19:18,825 --> 00:19:20,283 and he's been tailing him for a couple weeks. 475 00:19:20,368 --> 00:19:22,619 Wonderful. Maybe we can split the bill, huh? 476 00:19:22,703 --> 00:19:25,539 - What have you got? - Unfortunately, sir, I've got nothing. 477 00:19:26,541 --> 00:19:27,582 What do you mean, nothing? 478 00:19:27,667 --> 00:19:28,667 Guy's clean. 479 00:19:28,751 --> 00:19:30,210 There's no such thing. Everyone's got something. 480 00:19:30,294 --> 00:19:33,088 Well, apparently not this guy, Ari. The guy's a model human. 481 00:19:33,714 --> 00:19:35,173 Look for yourself. 482 00:19:35,258 --> 00:19:37,133 - That's him coaching soccer. - Uh-huh. 483 00:19:37,218 --> 00:19:39,177 Volunteering in a soup kitchen. 484 00:19:39,262 --> 00:19:40,887 Making dinner for his family. 485 00:19:40,972 --> 00:19:42,764 - Jesus. - Yeah. 486 00:19:43,474 --> 00:19:45,433 He still screws his wife. She's hot, too. 487 00:19:46,143 --> 00:19:47,352 I got to tell you, 488 00:19:47,436 --> 00:19:48,979 in all my years in this business, 489 00:19:49,063 --> 00:19:51,690 we've never failed to find the dirt. I'm sorry. 490 00:19:58,823 --> 00:20:00,574 (ROCK MUSIC PLAYING) 491 00:20:13,170 --> 00:20:14,963 Hey, family, I'm home! 492 00:20:15,131 --> 00:20:16,923 How are you, sweetheart? 493 00:20:17,216 --> 00:20:19,551 - Good. - I come bearing gifts. Follow. 494 00:20:19,927 --> 00:20:22,512 Ari, what happened? I've been calling... you don't answer your cell. 495 00:20:22,597 --> 00:20:24,306 I was at the bookstore. I got some great ones for Jonah. 496 00:20:24,390 --> 00:20:26,892 "James and the Giant Peach," "One Fish Two Fish," 497 00:20:27,310 --> 00:20:29,519 and "Everyone Poops." Where's my boy? 498 00:20:29,604 --> 00:20:30,562 Jonah! 499 00:20:30,646 --> 00:20:31,646 Ari, what happened with your special friend? 500 00:20:31,731 --> 00:20:34,649 Nothing, baby. Well, he did offer to doctor some photos of Preston 501 00:20:34,734 --> 00:20:37,444 to make it look like he had a young Filipino boyfriend. 502 00:20:37,528 --> 00:20:39,946 But when he did, it made me feel dirty, and it hit me... 503 00:20:40,031 --> 00:20:42,782 What school our son goes to doesn't matter. 504 00:20:42,867 --> 00:20:45,076 It's what type of environment he comes home to. 505 00:20:45,161 --> 00:20:47,287 That's why I wanna make this the best place ever. 506 00:20:47,872 --> 00:20:49,539 He's really not getting in, is he? 507 00:20:49,624 --> 00:20:52,542 No he's not, baby. But I am going to read to him every night. 508 00:20:52,627 --> 00:20:54,210 And we're gonna have family dinners now. 509 00:20:54,295 --> 00:20:55,879 6:00 p.m., seven nights a week, 510 00:20:55,963 --> 00:20:57,505 - no exceptions. - Ew! 511 00:20:57,590 --> 00:20:59,424 - And no TV. - Double Ew! 512 00:20:59,508 --> 00:21:02,761 I'm gonna be a better man, a better father, and a better husband. 513 00:21:02,929 --> 00:21:04,804 - Jonah! - Dadda! 514 00:21:04,889 --> 00:21:08,099 Hey hey! How's my little man? 515 00:21:08,184 --> 00:21:09,434 - Good. - Good? 516 00:21:09,852 --> 00:21:11,478 You know, Daddy came home early 517 00:21:11,562 --> 00:21:14,648 just to read to his buddy, "How Do Dinosaurs Say Goodnight?" 518 00:21:14,732 --> 00:21:15,815 - Is that cool? - Yeah. 519 00:21:15,900 --> 00:21:17,192 - Cool. - Daddy? 520 00:21:17,276 --> 00:21:18,276 Yeah, buddy. 521 00:21:18,361 --> 00:21:21,404 Am I going to school with Darrin Hornig next year? 522 00:21:22,323 --> 00:21:25,033 - Ah... - 'Cause I really, really want to. 523 00:21:32,875 --> 00:21:35,293 That would be 2100... 524 00:21:35,544 --> 00:21:37,712 Crisp, easily-earned dollars. 525 00:21:38,089 --> 00:21:39,297 2200... 526 00:21:39,924 --> 00:21:42,133 Crisp, easily earned dollars... 527 00:21:42,218 --> 00:21:44,803 - I'm out of here. - Going to see Sloan? 528 00:21:44,887 --> 00:21:47,347 Of course he is. And to show my appreciation 529 00:21:47,431 --> 00:21:49,140 for your predictability, E, 530 00:21:49,225 --> 00:21:52,143 I'm gonna take some of my winnings and buy you a nice gift certificate 531 00:21:52,228 --> 00:21:54,896 to a farm that'll help you grow some balls. 532 00:21:54,981 --> 00:21:56,439 - (LAUGHS) - ERIC: That's funny. 533 00:21:56,565 --> 00:21:58,858 I appreciate that, Drama. But I'm not going to Sloan's. 534 00:21:58,943 --> 00:22:01,486 I'm going to the hotel to fuck that British chick I met at the pool today. 535 00:22:01,570 --> 00:22:03,905 So Vince, I'd put your cash away. 536 00:22:04,740 --> 00:22:06,950 Looks like the bet's still on. 537 00:22:08,077 --> 00:22:10,078 Turtle! Get your suit on. 538 00:22:11,330 --> 00:22:12,455 Come on, come on! 539 00:22:12,540 --> 00:22:14,249 What are you doin'? 540 00:22:14,458 --> 00:22:15,625 Come on, man. 541 00:22:15,876 --> 00:22:17,002 Come on, come on, come on. 542 00:22:17,086 --> 00:22:18,211 Come on! 543 00:22:18,295 --> 00:22:20,088 (UNDER BREATH) Fuck. 544 00:22:35,021 --> 00:22:36,021 (BANGS) 545 00:22:37,398 --> 00:22:38,565 - Hi. - Hi. 546 00:22:38,649 --> 00:22:41,443 - Uh, can I help you? - Yeah, is Mr. Preston here? 547 00:22:41,527 --> 00:22:43,194 - I'm here, hon. - Ah. 548 00:22:43,279 --> 00:22:44,779 - Everything okay? - It's fine. 549 00:22:45,197 --> 00:22:48,366 Just tell the kids I'll be right in and lock the door behind you. 550 00:22:48,451 --> 00:22:50,285 You have a lovely home. 551 00:22:50,369 --> 00:22:51,703 Thank you. 552 00:22:56,959 --> 00:22:58,543 What is the meaning of this? 553 00:22:58,627 --> 00:23:00,211 Well, there's something that I needed... 554 00:23:00,296 --> 00:23:02,297 That I'd like to say to you. 555 00:23:02,381 --> 00:23:03,923 Something different than what you muttered at me 556 00:23:04,008 --> 00:23:05,300 under your breath this morning? 557 00:23:05,760 --> 00:23:07,302 You heard that? 558 00:23:07,636 --> 00:23:10,096 - What do you want, Mr. Gold? - Uh, just a moment of your time 559 00:23:10,181 --> 00:23:14,684 so that I can say to you that through this process, 560 00:23:14,769 --> 00:23:16,811 I have learned from you, Mr. Preston. 561 00:23:16,896 --> 00:23:19,731 You are an educator, and you've educated me 562 00:23:19,982 --> 00:23:23,234 about being a man, about being a father, 563 00:23:23,319 --> 00:23:25,820 and I know that you can't be bought. 564 00:23:26,989 --> 00:23:28,114 I tried. 565 00:23:28,199 --> 00:23:30,158 I know that you can't be blackmailed, 566 00:23:30,242 --> 00:23:31,826 because you're too perfect. 567 00:23:32,328 --> 00:23:33,369 Um, 568 00:23:33,454 --> 00:23:34,537 but I guess I want to know, 569 00:23:34,622 --> 00:23:36,748 can... Can you be compassionate? 570 00:23:37,500 --> 00:23:40,085 Because I am coming to you, 571 00:23:40,169 --> 00:23:41,795 hat in hand, to ask you... 572 00:23:41,879 --> 00:23:43,296 To beg you... 573 00:23:44,507 --> 00:23:46,966 To let my son have a proper education. 574 00:23:47,051 --> 00:23:50,136 And don't make him suffer because he has a way-too-aggressive father 575 00:23:50,221 --> 00:23:53,139 that won't shut up on the soccer field, okay? 576 00:23:54,183 --> 00:23:55,350 Please, sir. 577 00:23:56,185 --> 00:23:57,352 Please. 578 00:23:59,188 --> 00:24:00,605 Look at you. 579 00:24:01,649 --> 00:24:04,484 Did you ever think, given your high-powered status, 580 00:24:04,985 --> 00:24:07,946 that you'd ever be reduced to begging and pleading? 581 00:24:09,532 --> 00:24:11,116 No sir, I didn't. 582 00:24:11,325 --> 00:24:12,575 I didn't. 583 00:24:13,327 --> 00:24:16,746 Well... I suppose there's a first time for everything. 584 00:24:18,374 --> 00:24:21,709 I myself never asked anybody for anything until now. 585 00:24:24,046 --> 00:24:26,172 Is there something you need? 586 00:24:27,007 --> 00:24:28,466 I have a son, 587 00:24:28,551 --> 00:24:32,345 a special boy who works in the mailroom at Abrams. 588 00:24:32,763 --> 00:24:34,305 I think he can do better. 589 00:24:34,390 --> 00:24:36,224 Ah, how special? 590 00:24:37,893 --> 00:24:39,310 'Cause I... I love special. 591 00:24:39,395 --> 00:24:42,689 I mean, half my lit department has an I.Q. Under 65. 592 00:24:44,066 --> 00:24:46,609 So, why don't you tell your boy 593 00:24:46,694 --> 00:24:49,028 that come Monday, he's got a desk 594 00:24:49,405 --> 00:24:52,198 in a real agency with a real salary? 595 00:24:52,575 --> 00:24:53,908 All right? 596 00:24:54,743 --> 00:24:56,703 The things that we do for our children, huh? 597 00:24:59,081 --> 00:25:00,582 You tell Jonah 598 00:25:01,208 --> 00:25:03,710 I'm looking forward to his first day 599 00:25:03,836 --> 00:25:05,962 at Briar Country Day. 600 00:25:06,046 --> 00:25:08,882 But I still don't want to see you at any soccer games. 601 00:25:08,966 --> 00:25:10,300 (LAUGHS) 602 00:25:13,179 --> 00:25:14,804 I love this town! 603 00:25:15,222 --> 00:25:17,098 (ROCK MUSIC PLAYING) 604 00:25:27,943 --> 00:25:31,613 I feel like I'm dropping my kid off to go trick-or-treating. 605 00:25:33,240 --> 00:25:34,490 Can't do it, Drama. 606 00:25:35,492 --> 00:25:36,534 Of course you can. 607 00:25:36,619 --> 00:25:39,537 No, I can't. It's bad enough I got to wear this thing, 608 00:25:39,622 --> 00:25:41,664 but who knows what she's gonna be wearing? 609 00:25:42,208 --> 00:25:44,542 Who cares if she's dressed like Godzilla? 610 00:25:44,627 --> 00:25:46,628 Close your eyes, like you used to do 611 00:25:46,712 --> 00:25:49,339 when you banged that ugly chick Trudy Lipnick in high school. 612 00:25:49,423 --> 00:25:51,382 You thought she was ugly? 613 00:25:51,467 --> 00:25:52,967 Is that debatable? 614 00:25:53,052 --> 00:25:55,094 Whatever. I'm not going in. 615 00:25:56,513 --> 00:25:58,139 - 50%. - No. 616 00:25:58,974 --> 00:25:59,974 60. 617 00:26:00,059 --> 00:26:01,267 Drama, you can give me the whole thing. 618 00:26:01,352 --> 00:26:03,102 I just can't do it. 619 00:26:06,815 --> 00:26:08,691 Give me that suit, dick. 620 00:26:08,943 --> 00:26:10,610 Why, what are you gonna do? 621 00:26:10,694 --> 00:26:12,654 If I'm dropping five G's, 622 00:26:12,905 --> 00:26:14,948 at least get me some pussy. 623 00:26:16,325 --> 00:26:18,826 What, am I supposed to just sit here? 624 00:26:20,996 --> 00:26:22,747 (POP MUSIC PLAYING) 625 00:26:31,298 --> 00:26:32,674 (KNOCKING) 626 00:26:36,220 --> 00:26:37,637 - Hey. - Hey. 627 00:26:39,515 --> 00:26:41,140 Um, should we go? 628 00:26:41,684 --> 00:26:43,351 What would you say if I said 629 00:26:43,435 --> 00:26:45,186 let's blow off the restaurant and order in? 630 00:26:45,854 --> 00:26:47,605 I'd say come inside. 631 00:27:03,038 --> 00:27:05,748 - (KELSEY SQUEAKING) - (DRAMA GROANING) 632 00:27:07,876 --> 00:27:09,085 Oh yeah! 633 00:27:16,802 --> 00:27:18,052 (END MUSIC PLAYING)