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The Young and the Stoned
2
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4x09
3
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- I cannot find this place.
- Why are you too proud
4
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to use your navigation system?
Ask yourself that.
5
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I tried the navigation.
It can't find it either.
6
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That's too bad 'cause you're about
to miss the day's last bit of sun.
7
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Just tell me where to turn.
I'm on Poplar.
8
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I don't know Poplar.
Head back down the Hill,
9
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- I'll give you directions from sunset.
- I don't even know where the bottom is.
10
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Why did we have
to move up here anyway?
11
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'cause it's an insane house, that's why.
12
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For 30 gs a month it should be.
13
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Stop stressing about money.
14
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Vince says if he never
makes another dollar
15
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his advance check from Clouds
can keep us in this house for 16 months.
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- 18 months.
- 18 months.
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That will stop me from stressing.
Okay, wait a second,
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I think I'm heading back down right now.
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- Durand drive... that sound familiar?
- Yeah, turn there.
20
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- God damn it.
- What?
21
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Some girl just ran into me.
22
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Oh my god, I think it's Anna Faris.
23
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- Really?
- You know what? Let me call you back.
24
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What happened?
25
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Anna Faris just smashed into E.
26
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Sweet.
27
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Did you not see me?
28
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I am so sorry.
29
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I got distracted for a second.
It's totally my fault.
30
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Well, it's okay.
it was an accident.
31
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Would you mind not coming any closer?
32
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Why? You think I'm, like,
some kind of a crazy fan or something?
33
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No no, it's just that
I'm in a towel.
34
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I just got done with pilates
and I forgot a change.
35
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And, you know, who wants to wear
sweaty clothes after a shower?
36
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So you decided
to drive home in a towel?
37
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- It's a little weird, huh?
- Not weird.
38
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It's just not very practical
in case you got in an accident.
39
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So what now?
40
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Well, I guess I've got
to get your insurance, right?
41
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I don't have my wallet.
42
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Okay, you're just a mess today.
43
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Yes. Yes,
44
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but your fly is down.
45
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No, it's not.
46
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I'm sorry, I just wanted
to take some of the attention off me.
47
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Look, I'm feeling a little exposed.
Can I give you my number?
48
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I'm gonna be home
in, like, 10 minutes
49
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and then I'll give you
everything you need.
50
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Yeah, that's cool.
51
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Let me get my phone
and get your number.
52
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- I'm really sorry.
- That's okay.
53
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It'll be all right.
54
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What time's dinner, daddy?
55
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As soon as I'm done
with this script, sweetie.
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Oh my God,
57
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That is so funny!
58
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No, you are kidding me.
59
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That is so funny.
60
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Oh my god, too funny.
61
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Will you shut up?
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Okay then.
Yes, A.S.A.P.
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Thank you so much.
64
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Well, guess who that was.
65
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Let me see, it was Cara Grossman
and she wants to know
66
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if she should should get her eyebrows
waxed first or if you should.
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It was my old producer from
The Young And The Restless.
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What did he want?
69
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- Me.
- I don't get it.
70
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It's the 35th anniversary of Y&R
71
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and they want me to reprise
my role as Kendall Scott.
72
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Are you serious?
73
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I am.
74
00:04:12,675 --> 00:04:15,723
It seems that Kendall
still gets quite a bit of fan mail
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and the writers were in a bind
and they've come up
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with a little idea that
could work for tomorrow.
77
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- I hope you told them no.
- I told them we'd talk about it.
78
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We talked about it
so you tell them no.
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We have not talked about it.
80
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Honey, what is there to talk about?
81
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I don't know...
tell me that it's exciting
82
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and that if I did it, I'd be good.
83
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It's a soap opera. There is no good,
there's just degrees of bad.
84
00:04:36,979 --> 00:04:39,466
Well, then tell me
that I would be pretty,
85
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as pretty as the day I left the show.
86
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Well, you left the show
when you were 25
87
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and now they shoot
everything in high def.
88
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You are such an asshole!
89
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- Come on, baby.
- Yeah, right. Well, ask anybody,
90
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you've aged a lot worse
than I have, baby.
91
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Come here, honey.
Where are you going?
92
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- To call my producer...
- For what?
93
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...and tell him Kendall Scott,
town slut, is back.
94
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What's up, boys?
95
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For a guy who just got
into an accident, you seem happy.
96
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Maybe he's got a head injury.
97
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It's a fender-bender.
I'm fine. Are you nuts?
98
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I hope you didn't tell Ms. Faris that,
99
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'cause we're gonna sue
the crap out of her.
100
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We're not suing anybody.
there's barely any damage.
101
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Yeah, visible damage,
102
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but internal damage
is a whole other thing.
103
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- Let it go, Drama.
- E, come on, what's up?
104
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I don't know.
She's cute.
105
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- That she is.
- We had a little moment.
106
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- No shot.
- No way.
107
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You're not a member
of the celeb club, bro.
108
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- It'll never happen.
- I got her number.
109
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I crashed into an 80-year-old woman
once. She gave me her number too.
110
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Whatever.
I'm calling.
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I bet my left nut
he could not close Anna Faris.
112
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Gee, a bet I'd love to win.
113
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Shit.
114
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What happened?
115
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She gave me the wrong number.
116
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Don't feel too bad, E.
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You're just a regular
person, a civilian.
118
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Too bad she didn't hit me.
119
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We'd be fucking by now.
120
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- Good morning, Ari.
- Is that smirk for me
121
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or are your ben wa balls shifting?
122
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Just wondering how you're feeling
123
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about not being the biggest
star in your house anymore.
124
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Don't be a wiseass.
How did you know?
125
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It's on defamer.
126
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You're kidding.
127
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Oh, Ari, be proud of her.
128
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She's gonna light up the screen
129
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and bring a newfound
excitement to Genoa city.
130
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You watch that shit?
131
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Y&R is fourth
on my Tivo season pass priority list.
132
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I haven't missed an episode in 12 years.
133
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- That is so sad.
- You should go down to the set today.
134
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Watch your wife's work,
be supportive.
135
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I got my own life's work
to support, Lloyd.
136
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Who the hell is this?
137
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That's the underage
student she seduces, Julio.
138
00:07:01,889 --> 00:07:05,040
Not a great picture. I've a better one.
It's my screen saver, if you wanna see.
139
00:07:05,142 --> 00:07:06,939
- Clear my schedule.
- Even your lunch?
140
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I'm going to be eating
Julio's lunch today.
141
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Hi, Julio.
142
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- I got it.
- Got what?
143
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Anna Faris's address.
Wait till she sees me
144
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show up on her doorstep.
145
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What? I should pay for the car?
146
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Is this really about the money
147
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or is this about your little moment?
148
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- We did have a moment.
- She's an actress.
149
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- So what, I'm an idiot?
- No, she's a good actress.
150
00:07:33,291 --> 00:07:36,639
Is E still bitching about
being bitch-slapped by a bitch?
151
00:07:36,740 --> 00:07:37,906
He's rightfully upset.
152
00:07:38,159 --> 00:07:40,109
Well, let it go.
We have bigger problems.
153
00:07:40,210 --> 00:07:42,645
What's that Turtle?
Pink dot insisting on seeing a note
154
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before you use
Vince's credit card again?
155
00:07:44,560 --> 00:07:47,139
- Tey discontinued his favorite weed.
- O favorite weed,
156
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and it's not discontinued,
it's extinct, gone forever.
157
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Like the Yangtze river dolphin.
158
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I gotta wait for the cable guy.
How am I gonna do that with no weed?
159
00:07:55,216 --> 00:07:57,220
Why don't you pick up one
of the 50 kinds of weed
160
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- you've been living off for 20 years?
- I'm too distraught.
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What if I was to tell you
that I have a secret stash
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of the most-recently-extinct
aurora borealis
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00:08:04,948 --> 00:08:06,100
in a box in the living room?
164
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I would say if I wasn't
worried about appearances,
165
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I would kiss you right now.
How much you got?
166
00:08:10,711 --> 00:08:12,830
Enough to make
waiting for the cable guy tolerable.
167
00:08:12,991 --> 00:08:14,050
Fantastic.
168
00:08:14,123 --> 00:08:15,735
You know what?
Maybe I'll stick around,
169
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cook us a nice lunchtime feast.
You do the shopping.
170
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If I pick the menu.
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Done.
You in, E?
172
00:08:22,190 --> 00:08:23,814
I can't. Got too much stuff to do today.
173
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I'll see you guys later.
174
00:08:26,354 --> 00:08:27,482
What's he gotta do?
175
00:08:28,291 --> 00:08:30,586
I really miss this lovely canvas.
176
00:08:30,761 --> 00:08:32,669
Well, I hope
I don't disappoint, Steven.
177
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It's really nerve-wracking
178
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when you haven't been in front
of the camera for so long.
179
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Don't worry. You look as good as ever
and you will be fantastic.
180
00:08:40,837 --> 00:08:43,274
Surprise, honey.
Your husband has arrived.
181
00:08:43,719 --> 00:08:45,147
Ari, what are you doing here?
182
00:08:45,308 --> 00:08:47,060
Well, I wanted to see your work.
183
00:08:47,176 --> 00:08:49,712
I wanted to be the supportive
husband and meet your colleagues.
184
00:08:49,780 --> 00:08:51,498
How are you?
Ari gold. Nice to meet you.
185
00:08:51,615 --> 00:08:53,282
I am the man behind
this beautiful woman.
186
00:08:53,459 --> 00:08:55,486
Your wife has
the most amazing skin.
187
00:08:55,589 --> 00:08:56,890
She does, doesn't she?
188
00:08:57,673 --> 00:09:00,489
Do you think you could give
us just a couple seconds?
189
00:09:01,012 --> 00:09:02,792
Sure.
Whatever you need.
190
00:09:04,761 --> 00:09:06,962
- What are you doing here?
- I heard about your scene.
191
00:09:07,030 --> 00:09:09,562
Come on, it's a soap.
What did you think I was gonna be doing?
192
00:09:09,677 --> 00:09:11,605
I don't know,
discovering that your husband
193
00:09:11,674 --> 00:09:13,908
is really
your long-lost tranny cousin?
194
00:09:14,061 --> 00:09:15,771
Who gives a shit?
All I know is
195
00:09:15,806 --> 00:09:17,872
I don't want another
man's lips on my wife.
196
00:09:18,010 --> 00:09:20,109
- It's barely a kiss.
- And how are your kids
197
00:09:20,210 --> 00:09:21,855
going to explain that in school
198
00:09:21,978 --> 00:09:26,230
when people ask why their mommy
is on tv barely kissing Juan Valdez?
199
00:09:26,300 --> 00:09:29,179
Sarah's best friend's mother just got
raped on Criminal minds last week.
200
00:09:29,271 --> 00:09:32,253
A) rape is involuntary
and b) it's prime time.
201
00:09:32,422 --> 00:09:34,005
- You are such an asshole.
- Baby
202
00:09:34,424 --> 00:09:36,258
you're 30 minutes away
from getting it on
203
00:09:36,359 --> 00:09:37,819
with a 19-year-old latin bullfighter
204
00:09:37,935 --> 00:09:40,930
and I pass on hot pieces of ass
205
00:09:41,031 --> 00:09:43,199
that throw themselves
at me all day every day
206
00:09:43,353 --> 00:09:45,886
without so much
as a cupping of an ass cheek.
207
00:09:46,001 --> 00:09:48,304
You know what? I'll tell you,
if you can get one of them
208
00:09:48,371 --> 00:09:50,773
to fuck you on national
television, you have my blessing.
209
00:09:50,874 --> 00:09:52,665
Ari, go back to work.
210
00:09:52,763 --> 00:09:55,485
Baby, we agreed to suffer
through monogamy together.
211
00:09:55,669 --> 00:09:57,646
If you love me,
you won't do it!
212
00:09:57,814 --> 00:09:59,904
If you love me,
you will get the hell out of here.
213
00:09:59,996 --> 00:10:01,700
Seriously, Ari,
you are pissing me off.
214
00:10:01,885 --> 00:10:03,428
Go back to work.
215
00:10:21,137 --> 00:10:22,201
Yeah, who's this?
216
00:10:22,546 --> 00:10:24,320
The guy you smashed into last night.
217
00:10:24,956 --> 00:10:28,344
Oh my God, I am so sorry
I gave you the wrong phone number.
218
00:10:28,586 --> 00:10:31,514
- Yeah, you did.
- Oh, it was a total accident.
219
00:10:31,748 --> 00:10:32,877
Another one?
220
00:10:33,999 --> 00:10:35,674
How did you find my house?
221
00:10:35,952 --> 00:10:37,925
- Star maps.
- Right.
222
00:10:38,626 --> 00:10:40,952
So are you, like,
here to beat me up?
223
00:10:42,026 --> 00:10:43,726
- No.
- 'Cause you do realize
224
00:10:43,794 --> 00:10:46,128
it's a little nutty tracking
me down like this, right?
225
00:10:46,557 --> 00:10:48,697
If you didn't look so harmless,
I'd be worried.
226
00:10:48,866 --> 00:10:50,801
- I look harmless?
- Yeah, that's a good thing.
227
00:10:50,870 --> 00:10:52,828
I'm in the business.
I manage Vincent Chase.
228
00:10:52,886 --> 00:10:55,037
I'm not a crazy person.
I'm just a little pissed off.
229
00:10:55,071 --> 00:10:56,594
I mean, you blew off the accident.
230
00:10:57,216 --> 00:10:59,442
If I can just get your insurance info,
that'd be great.
231
00:10:59,580 --> 00:11:01,680
Yeah.
Okay, come in.
232
00:11:01,876 --> 00:11:03,028
Thank you.
233
00:11:10,160 --> 00:11:12,210
I swear I didn't do it on purpose.
234
00:11:12,499 --> 00:11:15,946
The phone is new and I'm
just totally number dyslexic.
235
00:11:16,084 --> 00:11:18,059
3253, 2353...
236
00:11:18,169 --> 00:11:20,357
my brain just can't
process the difference.
237
00:11:20,620 --> 00:11:22,417
Well, I'm sorry
to just show up like this.
238
00:11:22,632 --> 00:11:25,188
No, listen, I'm crazy
enough to do the same thing.
239
00:11:25,533 --> 00:11:27,610
In high school
someone put gum on my locker once
240
00:11:27,725 --> 00:11:29,972
and I spent three weeks trying
to track down who it was.
241
00:11:30,646 --> 00:11:33,709
- What happened?
- I got my ass kicked by Jane Nevins,
242
00:11:33,743 --> 00:11:36,011
the 300-lb resident school lunatic.
243
00:11:36,659 --> 00:11:38,215
So should we do this?
244
00:11:38,308 --> 00:11:41,050
- Yeah.
- Okay, here's mine.
245
00:11:41,151 --> 00:11:42,510
There's my stuff right there.
246
00:11:43,722 --> 00:11:45,841
So is your car totally screwed up?
247
00:11:47,212 --> 00:11:48,893
Not too bad, actually.
Yours?
248
00:11:49,600 --> 00:11:51,594
Completely.
I did something to the wheels.
249
00:11:52,181 --> 00:11:53,796
You know, I guess
it's what I deserve.
250
00:11:53,979 --> 00:11:56,065
I've been waiting
40 minutes for a cab
251
00:11:56,166 --> 00:11:58,067
to take me to a meeting.
I am so late.
252
00:11:58,168 --> 00:11:59,314
I can give you a lift.
253
00:11:59,978 --> 00:12:02,019
Really?
you'd do that?
254
00:12:02,111 --> 00:12:03,863
I probably should have asked
how far first.
255
00:12:03,864 --> 00:12:05,281
Oh no, it's really close.
256
00:12:05,408 --> 00:12:08,093
- No problem then.
- Okay, I'm gonna go grab my stuff.
257
00:12:18,052 --> 00:12:19,180
This is nice.
258
00:12:21,924 --> 00:12:25,333
We don't get too much alone time,
just you and me, bro.
259
00:12:34,303 --> 00:12:35,478
So what do you want to do?
260
00:12:38,042 --> 00:12:39,493
Well, we got no tv.
261
00:12:41,296 --> 00:12:42,724
- Wanna talk?
- Sure.
262
00:12:49,118 --> 00:12:50,155
I got nothin'.
263
00:12:50,437 --> 00:12:52,625
Yeah, me neither.
You wanna smoke?
264
00:12:53,395 --> 00:12:54,598
We promised Turtle we'd wait.
265
00:12:54,782 --> 00:12:56,714
- I won't tell if you don't.
- Spark it up.
266
00:13:08,584 --> 00:13:09,916
The little bastard took it all.
267
00:13:13,710 --> 00:13:16,382
I was right to take it, 'cause you guys
cannot control yourselves.
268
00:13:16,497 --> 00:13:18,616
When are you bringing it back?
Vince is bored.
269
00:13:18,782 --> 00:13:20,086
I'll be home soon. Relax.
270
00:13:20,283 --> 00:13:23,090
You'd better not smoke any of that
before you get back, Turtle.
271
00:13:24,382 --> 00:13:26,386
Did you hear that?
Vince feels violated.
272
00:13:26,851 --> 00:13:29,009
Oh, please. I would have
to nothing but stems
273
00:13:29,124 --> 00:13:30,893
if I left it
with you two degenerates.
274
00:13:31,027 --> 00:13:32,217
Excuse me.
275
00:13:32,447 --> 00:13:35,664
Hey, I only have a few things.
Would you mind if I went ahead of you?
276
00:13:36,547 --> 00:13:37,701
I'll call you back.
277
00:13:38,423 --> 00:13:40,002
Sure, yeah, I'll let you go,
278
00:13:40,123 --> 00:13:42,671
but if your boyfriend comes
running up here with 20 more items,
279
00:13:42,739 --> 00:13:44,801
- I'm gonna be pissed.
- I don't have a boyfriend.
280
00:13:44,975 --> 00:13:46,196
Then by all means.
281
00:13:46,977 --> 00:13:48,169
Thanks.
282
00:13:49,445 --> 00:13:50,579
Healthy living.
283
00:13:50,647 --> 00:13:53,309
Me and my friend
are having a little midday fiesta.
284
00:13:54,051 --> 00:13:56,178
You know what?
Me and my friends are having one too.
285
00:13:56,253 --> 00:13:57,954
Maybe we should, combine parties.
286
00:13:58,469 --> 00:14:00,222
- I don't think so.
- Oh, come on.
287
00:14:00,286 --> 00:14:02,243
I guarantee our party
will be better than yours.
288
00:14:02,313 --> 00:14:03,606
Oh, yeah? Why?
289
00:14:03,827 --> 00:14:05,489
'cause it's at Vincent Chase's house.
290
00:14:06,410 --> 00:14:07,493
Really?
291
00:14:13,894 --> 00:14:14,994
- Javier.
- Yes?
292
00:14:15,447 --> 00:14:17,244
Ari gold.
Do you know me?
293
00:14:18,858 --> 00:14:20,543
Oh, yes yes,
I know of you.
294
00:14:20,749 --> 00:14:23,005
I'd shake your hand,
but I just used my cocoa butter.
295
00:14:23,397 --> 00:14:25,132
Are you interested
in representing me?
296
00:14:25,386 --> 00:14:27,283
I may be.
I may be,
297
00:14:27,384 --> 00:14:29,036
but right now
I'm interested
298
00:14:29,106 --> 00:14:31,387
in talking to you
about your scene today.
299
00:14:31,670 --> 00:14:32,922
Scene?
I have many scenes.
300
00:14:32,987 --> 00:14:35,175
There's only one scene that
I wanna talk to you about.
301
00:14:35,221 --> 00:14:37,460
- Which one is that?
- It's the one with Mrs. Gold.
302
00:14:37,974 --> 00:14:39,794
- Mrs. Gold?
- Yeah, my wife.
303
00:14:40,392 --> 00:14:43,580
- She plays Kendall Scott.
- Oh, Kendall Scott.
304
00:14:43,926 --> 00:14:45,568
I'm sorry,
I only know character names.
305
00:14:45,822 --> 00:14:46,950
I'm a method actor.
306
00:14:47,481 --> 00:14:49,105
Well...
307
00:14:49,471 --> 00:14:51,407
you're supposed
to kiss her on the mouth.
308
00:14:52,237 --> 00:14:53,550
- Just acting.
- Don't.
309
00:14:54,285 --> 00:14:55,852
The script says that I have to.
310
00:14:55,985 --> 00:14:58,447
Look, Javier,
I can help you, okay?
311
00:14:58,641 --> 00:15:00,713
You don't want to spend
the rest of your life
312
00:15:01,335 --> 00:15:03,978
having fat middle-aged women
and odd homosexual men
313
00:15:04,068 --> 00:15:06,388
getting off to your work, do you?
You have bigger dreams,
314
00:15:06,701 --> 00:15:08,728
I'm sure, and let me tell you,
315
00:15:08,925 --> 00:15:11,153
as anyone in this town can tell you,
316
00:15:11,294 --> 00:15:13,353
I am a dreameaver, all right?
317
00:15:13,563 --> 00:15:15,064
So you focus on what I'm saying
318
00:15:15,201 --> 00:15:17,366
and I will have you kissing
Uggly Betty by Christmas,
319
00:15:17,467 --> 00:15:19,909
but nobody gets to kiss my wife,
nobody but me.
320
00:15:21,612 --> 00:15:23,179
Oh, this is nice.
321
00:15:23,373 --> 00:15:25,708
I can get used to having
a personal driver.
322
00:15:25,776 --> 00:15:28,292
I might have to take the
job just to keep the roads safe...
323
00:15:29,146 --> 00:15:30,505
... with you driving, yes.
324
00:15:31,288 --> 00:15:32,878
You know, you did stop short.
325
00:15:32,970 --> 00:15:35,066
What are you talking about?
When you are the person
326
00:15:35,135 --> 00:15:37,162
that crashes into another,
it's always your fault.
327
00:15:37,214 --> 00:15:39,080
that's common knowledge.
Everybody knows that.
328
00:15:39,126 --> 00:15:40,189
Yeah, I know...
329
00:15:40,952 --> 00:15:42,127
but you did stop short.
330
00:15:42,292 --> 00:15:44,438
A little bit.
But still, your fault.
331
00:15:45,445 --> 00:15:46,780
So where am I taking you anyway?
332
00:15:47,277 --> 00:15:48,782
I've got this meeting with a director
333
00:15:48,897 --> 00:15:50,914
- for this movie I'm gonna do.
- Yeah? What movie?
334
00:15:50,960 --> 00:15:52,918
- Brown-eyed girl.
- Okay, I've read that.
335
00:15:53,102 --> 00:15:55,106
They sent it over
for Vince a ways back.
336
00:15:55,405 --> 00:15:57,177
So what happened?
You didn't like it?
337
00:15:57,370 --> 00:15:58,660
No, not for Vince.
338
00:15:59,520 --> 00:16:00,648
Do you like it for me?
339
00:16:02,527 --> 00:16:04,250
I mean, I don't know.
I read it for Vince.
340
00:16:05,102 --> 00:16:06,283
Nice save.
341
00:16:07,623 --> 00:16:09,018
Seriously, it was a long time ago.
342
00:16:09,119 --> 00:16:11,098
I don't even remember specifics.
So is this it?
343
00:16:13,289 --> 00:16:16,025
Can you please be honest and tell me
what you thought of the script?
344
00:16:16,221 --> 00:16:17,860
What does it matter what I think?
345
00:16:18,268 --> 00:16:20,429
Because now
I've gotta go into this meeting
346
00:16:20,564 --> 00:16:22,164
and you're all in my head and...
347
00:16:22,499 --> 00:16:24,042
just humor me.
I can take it.
348
00:16:24,810 --> 00:16:27,113
Okay. All right, look, I didn't like it.
349
00:16:27,304 --> 00:16:29,360
I mean, if it were just
a regular romantic comedy,
350
00:16:29,475 --> 00:16:32,431
I'd go, "Okay, it's cute." but it's not.
It tries to be so much more.
351
00:16:32,929 --> 00:16:35,880
When movies do that, I don't know,
it just... It pisses me off.
352
00:16:36,353 --> 00:16:38,081
Look, the third act...
when it looks like
353
00:16:38,127 --> 00:16:40,169
they're gonna get back
together and all of a sudden
354
00:16:40,215 --> 00:16:42,380
she's taking off to start
an organic dog food company?
355
00:16:42,442 --> 00:16:44,619
I mean, come on.
It just felt broad and manipulative
356
00:16:44,711 --> 00:16:46,450
and just...
I don't know, I didn't buy it.
357
00:16:46,565 --> 00:16:48,891
You really forgot the specifics, huh?
358
00:16:49,359 --> 00:16:52,012
- Was that just way too honest?
- No no no.
359
00:16:52,420 --> 00:16:55,137
No, I appreciate it.
And I really appreciate the ride.
360
00:16:55,332 --> 00:16:57,010
- Thank you.
- You're welcome.
361
00:16:57,307 --> 00:16:59,235
So I guess
our insurance people will talk?
362
00:16:59,302 --> 00:17:00,603
Yeah. I guess.
363
00:17:01,444 --> 00:17:03,379
- It was nice meeting you.
- Nice meeting you.
364
00:17:03,540 --> 00:17:05,487
Good luck on your meeting.
Thank you.
365
00:17:10,207 --> 00:17:13,363
So when do we get to smoke
some of this allegedly extinct weed?
366
00:17:13,483 --> 00:17:14,968
When we get back to the house.
367
00:17:15,089 --> 00:17:17,761
- Why can't we just smoke some now?
- 'Cause I promised my friends
368
00:17:17,830 --> 00:17:19,255
I wouldn't smoke it without them.
369
00:17:19,389 --> 00:17:20,644
That's kind of gay.
370
00:17:20,980 --> 00:17:23,329
I thought you were gonna bring
two friends as hot as you.
371
00:17:23,385 --> 00:17:24,559
Stop. She's cool.
372
00:17:24,761 --> 00:17:26,696
- What's he saying about me up there?
- Nothing.
373
00:17:26,811 --> 00:17:29,160
- Can we at least smell it?
- You can, 'cause you're hot.
374
00:17:29,275 --> 00:17:30,473
Oh, eat me.
375
00:17:30,588 --> 00:17:33,558
Not even if you
bathe yourself in butterscotch.
376
00:17:33,998 --> 00:17:35,080
That smells good.
377
00:17:35,211 --> 00:17:37,238
Just pass the bowl back
and let us take one hit.
378
00:17:37,312 --> 00:17:39,132
Put the cap back on,
pass it up and shut up.
379
00:17:39,223 --> 00:17:40,509
- Turtle!
- Stop sign!
380
00:17:40,577 --> 00:17:41,794
Oh, shit.
381
00:17:45,749 --> 00:17:47,122
Oh, great great.
382
00:17:47,250 --> 00:17:48,482
Way to go, retard.
383
00:17:59,430 --> 00:18:00,558
Hello, officer.
384
00:18:01,201 --> 00:18:02,860
License, registration, please.
385
00:18:03,966 --> 00:18:05,878
It's in here.
I'm gonna reach for it slow.
386
00:18:07,491 --> 00:18:08,781
What's that smell?
387
00:18:12,368 --> 00:18:13,752
And action!
388
00:18:14,445 --> 00:18:16,450
- Miss Kendall.
- Come on, Julio,
389
00:18:17,394 --> 00:18:19,965
you can't honestly call me that
with a straight face now that
390
00:18:20,413 --> 00:18:21,508
you're all grown up.
391
00:18:21,749 --> 00:18:24,421
I'm sorry.
You look amazing.
392
00:18:25,740 --> 00:18:27,295
Miss Kendall,
you were my babysitter.
393
00:18:28,216 --> 00:18:29,859
You're not a baby anymore.
394
00:18:31,314 --> 00:18:33,179
And now that we're both adults,
395
00:18:33,995 --> 00:18:36,252
I thought we could catch up
like adults.
396
00:18:36,574 --> 00:18:38,164
- Miss Kendall...
- Julio,
397
00:18:39,708 --> 00:18:40,928
what would you do to me
398
00:18:41,199 --> 00:18:43,018
if I let you do anything
399
00:18:43,390 --> 00:18:45,555
and if I promised
never to tell your Uncle Cuan?
400
00:18:47,354 --> 00:18:48,805
Tell me, what would you do?
401
00:18:49,960 --> 00:18:51,204
I would do...
402
00:18:53,760 --> 00:18:54,914
- this.
- Cut!
403
00:18:55,698 --> 00:18:57,793
What the fuck was that?
You're supposed to kiss her.
404
00:18:57,886 --> 00:19:00,051
I thought it was
a little bit more romantic.
405
00:19:00,201 --> 00:19:02,573
- It's not. Let's do it again.
- I'd rather not.
406
00:19:02,896 --> 00:19:04,047
You'd rather not what?
407
00:19:05,131 --> 00:19:06,352
I'd rather not kiss her.
408
00:19:06,559 --> 00:19:07,849
What is the problem here?
409
00:19:08,514 --> 00:19:10,864
I'm sorry, is it me?
Am I doing something wrong?
410
00:19:11,100 --> 00:19:13,069
It's not you.
You're an incredible woman.
411
00:19:13,185 --> 00:19:14,267
So what then?
412
00:19:15,810 --> 00:19:16,960
It's him.
413
00:19:18,910 --> 00:19:21,509
He threatened my career
and he promised me Ugly Betty.
414
00:19:22,039 --> 00:19:23,305
I will be right back.
415
00:19:26,135 --> 00:19:28,254
- You are interfering with my work.
- Baby, come on.
416
00:19:28,344 --> 00:19:30,555
No matter what you say or do,
he's not gonna kiss you.
417
00:19:30,647 --> 00:19:32,421
- Oh, really?
- No, it's not gonna happen.
418
00:19:32,490 --> 00:19:33,918
You really think that?
419
00:19:46,633 --> 00:19:49,282
I kissed him. It's done.
Let's shoot this.
420
00:19:52,138 --> 00:19:54,395
You don't look like
you have glaucoma to me.
421
00:19:54,879 --> 00:19:56,629
- What's he saying to him?
- I don't know,
422
00:19:56,698 --> 00:19:58,357
but can he arrest all of us for this?
423
00:19:58,495 --> 00:20:00,486
I'm telling him
he kidnapped us if he tries.
424
00:20:00,924 --> 00:20:03,379
Officer, please.
We purchased that weed legally.
425
00:20:03,494 --> 00:20:05,751
- We weren't gonna smoke it.
- Son, I don't want to hear
426
00:20:05,797 --> 00:20:08,318
another syllable out of you
unless I ask you a question.
427
00:20:09,744 --> 00:20:12,461
Now it says your truck
is registered to Vincent Chase.
428
00:20:13,258 --> 00:20:15,861
Yeah, I'm sort of his driver.
Are you a fan?
429
00:20:16,045 --> 00:20:18,717
And if I throw you in jail,
who's gonna drive your movie star down
430
00:20:18,786 --> 00:20:21,206
- to bail you out?
- I don't know, sir, but please...
431
00:20:21,321 --> 00:20:23,094
- Get down on your knees!
- What?
432
00:20:23,279 --> 00:20:24,384
Down! Now!
433
00:20:25,328 --> 00:20:27,818
- Flat on your stomach!
- Are you gonna shoot me right now?
434
00:20:28,048 --> 00:20:29,062
No.
435
00:20:33,567 --> 00:20:34,718
Drop it in the sewer.
436
00:20:43,019 --> 00:20:45,046
Now get in your car
and get out of here.
437
00:20:45,346 --> 00:20:46,405
I can go?
438
00:20:46,543 --> 00:20:48,453
Better make it quick
before I change my mind.
439
00:20:48,615 --> 00:20:50,227
Thank you, officer.
Thank you.
440
00:20:54,158 --> 00:20:55,932
- What happened?
- Are you okay?
441
00:20:56,208 --> 00:20:57,990
He made me throw the weed
down the sewer.
442
00:20:58,750 --> 00:21:00,271
Bet your friends
are gonna be pissed.
443
00:21:00,777 --> 00:21:02,591
Can I tape your mouth shut
if you're wrong?
444
00:21:04,992 --> 00:21:06,490
What are you doing?
445
00:21:08,394 --> 00:21:09,569
What?
446
00:21:13,664 --> 00:21:15,046
I don't believe this guy.
447
00:21:16,734 --> 00:21:17,909
What is he doing?
448
00:21:22,940 --> 00:21:24,483
- How?
- Put it on the ledge.
449
00:21:26,306 --> 00:21:27,665
Even I'm impressed.
450
00:21:33,732 --> 00:21:36,726
Never tell an actress
you don't like her work, E.
451
00:21:36,979 --> 00:21:39,236
Or an actor for that matter. It hurts.
452
00:21:39,329 --> 00:21:40,687
I know.
I'm an idiot.
453
00:21:41,102 --> 00:21:43,983
Don't feel too bad.
You were never gonna get her anyway.
454
00:21:44,098 --> 00:21:46,125
Oh, thanks, Drama.
I feel much better now.
455
00:21:49,508 --> 00:21:50,660
Anna.
456
00:21:51,838 --> 00:21:53,312
Hey, Eric, it's Anna.
457
00:21:54,187 --> 00:21:56,652
Listen,
I felt like we got cut off today.
458
00:21:57,051 --> 00:21:59,055
Would you like to have dinner
with me tonight?
459
00:21:59,368 --> 00:22:01,384
Yes, sure.
Sounds great.
460
00:22:01,831 --> 00:22:04,273
- I can take a cab or...
- No, I'll pick you up.
461
00:22:04,484 --> 00:22:06,189
- Great. How's 8:00?
- Perfect.
462
00:22:06,396 --> 00:22:08,262
- All right, cool.
- I'll see you at 8:00.
463
00:22:10,579 --> 00:22:12,536
Anna just asked me
to go out to dinner with her.
464
00:22:12,629 --> 00:22:13,711
Nice!
465
00:22:13,895 --> 00:22:15,231
- She asked you?
- Yeah.
466
00:22:16,015 --> 00:22:19,401
Make sure you pay.
End this cycle of bitchdom.
467
00:22:20,365 --> 00:22:21,623
- I'm home.
- Finally.
468
00:22:22,064 --> 00:22:23,515
You'd better have something good.
469
00:22:23,953 --> 00:22:26,694
Looks like someone found
some fresh meat at the market.
470
00:22:26,804 --> 00:22:28,969
Guys, this is Laurie,
Morgan...
471
00:22:29,297 --> 00:22:31,496
and yours, Drama.
E, I didn't know you were here,
472
00:22:31,565 --> 00:22:34,697
or else I would have found a fourth.
You and Drama can fight it out for her.
473
00:22:34,744 --> 00:22:37,811
- Thanks, Turtle.
- Hi there. Jonathan Chase.
474
00:22:37,904 --> 00:22:39,216
It's a pleasure to meet you.
475
00:22:42,210 --> 00:22:45,205
Yeah, try taking that
and I'll break your fucking fingers.
476
00:22:50,823 --> 00:22:52,297
It's 8:00. What are you doing in bed?
477
00:22:52,435 --> 00:22:53,587
Long day.
I'm relaxing.
478
00:22:53,748 --> 00:22:54,945
The kids eat?
479
00:22:55,682 --> 00:22:57,816
- I made lasagna.
- You did?
480
00:22:58,047 --> 00:22:59,982
It was stouffer's,
but I did the microwaving.
481
00:23:02,539 --> 00:23:03,875
Look, about today...
482
00:23:03,944 --> 00:23:06,593
forget today, all right?
Let's never talk about today again.
483
00:23:06,662 --> 00:23:09,292
It's over and
I'm no longer mad...
484
00:23:10,331 --> 00:23:11,598
You're no longer mad?
485
00:23:12,081 --> 00:23:13,555
Well, I am mad,
you selfish prick.
486
00:23:13,624 --> 00:23:16,227
- and I want an apology.
- No no, your little latin joyride
487
00:23:16,330 --> 00:23:18,518
means me never having
to say I'm sorry.
488
00:23:18,587 --> 00:23:20,614
- What, you're not gonna apologize?
- No, I'm not.
489
00:23:20,775 --> 00:23:23,263
- Then how are we gonna get past this?
- I'm already past it,
490
00:23:23,355 --> 00:23:24,974
unless you're gonna go
kiss another guy.
491
00:23:25,043 --> 00:23:27,185
- then we're all good, all right?
- Well, I just may.
492
00:23:27,255 --> 00:23:29,327
They asked me to be
a series regular on the show.
493
00:23:29,692 --> 00:23:30,792
You're bluffing.
494
00:23:31,091 --> 00:23:32,220
Am I?
495
00:23:33,464 --> 00:23:35,884
I'm sorry, okay?
I get jealous.
496
00:23:36,091 --> 00:23:38,694
You're possessive.
I don't want an apology for that.
497
00:23:38,878 --> 00:23:40,226
What... for what then?
498
00:23:40,618 --> 00:23:41,746
For...
499
00:23:42,675 --> 00:23:44,241
for telling me that I am old
500
00:23:44,333 --> 00:23:46,130
and that I wouldn't
photograph in high def.
501
00:23:46,199 --> 00:23:48,180
It's a legitimate concern.
502
00:23:48,571 --> 00:23:51,118
Look, I just didn't want
you doing it, all right?
503
00:23:51,279 --> 00:23:53,813
I like the way things are.
I don't want you on television.
504
00:23:53,905 --> 00:23:56,238
I don't want some
19-year-old kissing the lips
505
00:23:56,330 --> 00:23:58,472
that I'm supposed
to be kissing, all right?
506
00:23:58,587 --> 00:24:01,232
Listen, if you wanna go
and be a soap whore every day,
507
00:24:01,393 --> 00:24:03,973
just do it knowing that you
make your husband miserable.
508
00:24:06,228 --> 00:24:08,232
You think I want to do it, Ari?
509
00:24:08,916 --> 00:24:12,647
I gave up acting to have a family
and I have never ever regretted it.
510
00:24:13,775 --> 00:24:15,341
I like the way things are.
511
00:24:16,269 --> 00:24:18,180
I just wanted to have
one day of stupid fun.
512
00:24:18,249 --> 00:24:19,770
With Julio down at the schoolyard.
513
00:24:19,862 --> 00:24:22,050
Well, if I'm so old and ugly,
why do you even care?
514
00:24:22,142 --> 00:24:24,186
Well, some guys are into that.
I mean, you know...
515
00:24:24,900 --> 00:24:26,603
Tell me that I am sexy, Ari.
516
00:24:26,696 --> 00:24:27,985
Honey, you are...
517
00:24:28,849 --> 00:24:30,784
the beautiful
mother of my children.
518
00:24:33,886 --> 00:24:35,221
And I respect you.
519
00:24:41,712 --> 00:24:43,440
You little slut!
520
00:24:48,668 --> 00:24:50,833
I swear to god, my life...
I thought I was gonna die.
521
00:24:51,017 --> 00:24:53,275
My god,
you're insane.
522
00:24:54,206 --> 00:24:55,956
And thoroughly entertaining.
523
00:24:57,995 --> 00:25:00,091
Thank you so much
for coming to dinner with me.
524
00:25:00,368 --> 00:25:01,957
There's no arguments...
it's on me.
525
00:25:02,164 --> 00:25:04,145
No shot.
I'm paying.
526
00:25:04,306 --> 00:25:06,751
No no. We're gonna have
to fight it out when the bill comes.
527
00:25:06,843 --> 00:25:08,110
- Oh, we will.
- Okay.
528
00:25:08,580 --> 00:25:10,538
- So how was your meeting?
- Not good.
529
00:25:11,498 --> 00:25:13,156
I told you,
you were in my head.
530
00:25:13,640 --> 00:25:15,436
I'm sorry. I should
have kept my mouth shut.
531
00:25:15,575 --> 00:25:18,066
No no. You know what? You were right.
532
00:25:18,595 --> 00:25:20,991
I reread the script and I hate it.
533
00:25:21,221 --> 00:25:22,350
You serious?
534
00:25:22,464 --> 00:25:24,284
I knew I was justifying, though.
535
00:25:24,514 --> 00:25:26,426
I mean,
it shoots in Italy for three months.
536
00:25:26,518 --> 00:25:29,684
How great would that be?
But it's just not that good.
537
00:25:30,375 --> 00:25:31,619
So what are you gonna do now?
538
00:25:31,734 --> 00:25:33,646
I told my agent
to get me out of it.
539
00:25:33,846 --> 00:25:35,562
Oh my God,
I feel terrible.
540
00:25:35,711 --> 00:25:37,830
- This director's gonna kill me.
- No no.
541
00:25:37,968 --> 00:25:41,498
No, you were right.
And good advice is hard to come by.
542
00:25:41,935 --> 00:25:43,709
- Well...
- I actually wouldn't mind
543
00:25:43,824 --> 00:25:45,560
picking your brain
for some more advice.
544
00:25:46,251 --> 00:25:47,380
Sure.
545
00:25:47,710 --> 00:25:49,414
Oh, I'm sorry.
Hang on a second.
546
00:25:50,503 --> 00:25:51,516
Hey, baby.
547
00:25:51,678 --> 00:25:54,125
I'm probably gonna be
home in, like, two hours.
548
00:25:54,332 --> 00:25:55,530
It's my boyfriend.
549
00:25:58,132 --> 00:26:01,196
- That steak was amazing.
- Yeah, what do you season it with?
550
00:26:02,016 --> 00:26:03,260
I'll never tell.
551
00:26:03,675 --> 00:26:05,540
Oh, come on.
You'll tell me.
552
00:26:06,315 --> 00:26:07,810
No, seriously, I won't.
553
00:26:08,191 --> 00:26:11,208
It's unbelievable.
This shit just keeps going and going.
554
00:26:11,323 --> 00:26:13,534
Yeah, so stop running your mouth
and keep it going.
555
00:26:13,765 --> 00:26:15,793
No, I'm serious.
We've only had, like, an eighth,
556
00:26:15,908 --> 00:26:17,198
- and it's still...
- Actually,
557
00:26:17,290 --> 00:26:20,100
I might have come across another
secret stash while I was unpacking.
558
00:26:20,403 --> 00:26:22,291
You're getting
sneakier and sneakier, Vin.
559
00:26:23,627 --> 00:26:24,894
So what now, ladies?
560
00:26:25,296 --> 00:26:26,586
Who's up for a little...
561
00:26:27,192 --> 00:26:28,389
skinny dip?
562
00:26:28,542 --> 00:26:29,924
- I'm in.
- All right.
563
00:26:30,011 --> 00:26:31,806
- Anyone else?
- Be nice, Turtle.
564
00:26:31,944 --> 00:26:33,403
I'm the only shot you got tonight.
565
00:26:34,094 --> 00:26:36,742
- Really? I got a shot?
- No, not really.
566
00:26:36,951 --> 00:26:38,356
- Hey, what up?
- Yo.
567
00:26:38,586 --> 00:26:40,865
What's up is you missed the cable guy.
That's what's up.
568
00:26:41,003 --> 00:26:42,776
- Oh, shit.
- Nice, Turtle.
569
00:26:43,190 --> 00:26:46,161
- How was the big date?
- It wasn't a date. She has a boyfriend.
570
00:26:46,368 --> 00:26:48,533
A boyfriend?
Why did she take you out to dinner?
571
00:26:48,695 --> 00:26:51,488
She wanted some career advice.
She doesn't have a manager.
572
00:26:51,787 --> 00:26:53,676
- She wants you to be her manager?
- Yep.
573
00:26:54,459 --> 00:26:55,956
I told you you wouldn't fuck her.
574
00:26:56,763 --> 00:26:58,582
All right, in the pool, ladies.
Let's go.
575
00:26:59,752 --> 00:27:00,834
Yeah, baby.
576
00:27:01,075 --> 00:27:03,032
Are you gonna tell me
what's on that steak?
577
00:27:03,217 --> 00:27:04,391
We'll see.
578
00:27:06,058 --> 00:27:07,463
I'll print out the recipe.
579
00:27:09,775 --> 00:27:11,572
She wants you
to be her manager, huh?
580
00:27:13,052 --> 00:27:14,434
Interesting.