1
00:00:06,974 --> 00:00:09,107
(theme music playing)
2
00:01:17,745 --> 00:01:20,378
(hip-hop music playing)
3
00:01:25,786 --> 00:01:27,931
- I CANNOT FIND THIS PLACE.
- WHY ARE YOU TOO PROUD
4
00:01:27,955 --> 00:01:30,233
TO USE YOUR NAVIGATION
SYSTEM? ASK YOURSELF THAT.
5
00:01:30,257 --> 00:01:32,657
I TRIED THE NAVIGATION,
TURTLE. IT CAN'T FIND IT EITHER.
6
00:01:32,693 --> 00:01:35,806
OH, THAT'S TOO BAD 'CAUSE YOU'RE
ABOUT TO MISS THE DAY'S LAST BIT OF SUN.
7
00:01:35,830 --> 00:01:37,830
JUST TELL ME WHERE
TO TURN. I'M ON POPLAR.
8
00:01:37,865 --> 00:01:40,410
UH, I DON'T KNOW POPLAR. WHY
DON'T YOU HEAD BACK DOWN THE HILL?
9
00:01:40,434 --> 00:01:42,345
- I'LL GIVE YOU
DIRECTIONS FROM SUNSET.
- I DON'T EVEN KNOW
10
00:01:42,369 --> 00:01:44,714
WHERE THE BOTTOM IS. WHY DID WE HAVE
TO MOVE ALL THE WAY UP HERE ANYWAY?
11
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'CAUSE IT'S AN INSANE
HOUSE, THAT'S WHY.
12
00:01:46,540 --> 00:01:48,373
WELL, FOR 30 G's A
MONTH IT SHOULD BE.
13
00:01:48,408 --> 00:01:49,853
Oh, stop stressing about money.
14
00:01:49,877 --> 00:01:51,888
VINCE SAYS IF HE NEVER
MAKES ANOTHER DOLLAR
15
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HIS ADVANCE CHECK FROM "CLOUDS"
CAN KEEP US IN THIS HOUSE FOR 16 MONTHS.
16
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- 18 MONTHS.
- 18 MONTHS.
17
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Oh, that will stop me from
stressing. Okay, wait a second,
18
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WAIT A SECOND. I THINK I'M
HEADING BACK DOWN RIGHT NOW.
19
00:02:01,655 --> 00:02:04,622
- DURAND DRIVE... DOES THAT SOUND FAMILIAR?
- YEAH YEAH, TURN THERE.
20
00:02:04,658 --> 00:02:06,458
(tires screech, crashing)
21
00:02:06,493 --> 00:02:08,360
- GOD DAMN IT.
- WHAT?
22
00:02:08,395 --> 00:02:10,896
SOME GIRL JUST RAN INTO ME.
23
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OH MY GOD, I THINK
IT'S ANNA FARIS.
24
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- Really?
- YOU KNOW WHAT? LET ME CALL YOU BACK.
25
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WHAT HAPPENED?
26
00:02:17,738 --> 00:02:19,972
ANNA FARIS JUST SMASHED INTO E.
27
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- SWEET.
- (Turtle chuckles)
28
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- DID YOU NOT SEE ME?
- OH, I AM SO SORRY.
29
00:02:27,614 --> 00:02:29,414
I JUST... I GOT
DISTRACTED FOR A SECOND.
30
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IT'S TOTALLY MY FAULT.
31
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WELL, IT'S OKAY. IT
WAS AN ACCIDENT.
32
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UM, WOULD YOU MIND
NOT COMING ANY CLOSER?
33
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WHY? YOU THINK I'M, LIKE, SOME
KIND OF A CRAZY FAN OR SOMETHING?
34
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NO NO, IT'S JUST
THAT I'M IN A TOWEL.
35
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I JUST GOT DONE WITH PILATES
AND I FORGOT A CHANGE.
36
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AND, YOU KNOW, WHO WANTS TO WEAR
SWEATY CLOTHES AFTER A SHOWER?
37
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SO YOU DECIDED TO
DRIVE HOME IN A TOWEL?
38
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- YEAH. IT'S A LITTLE
WEIRD, HUH?
- NOT WEIRD.
39
00:02:51,438 --> 00:02:54,739
IT'S JUST NOT VERY PRACTICAL
IN CASE YOU GET IN AN ACCIDENT.
40
00:02:54,775 --> 00:02:58,010
YEAH. UM... SO WHAT NOW?
41
00:02:58,045 --> 00:03:01,613
WELL, I GUESS I'VE GOT TO
GET YOUR INSURANCE, RIGHT?
42
00:03:01,648 --> 00:03:03,415
I DON'T HAVE MY WALLET.
43
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OKAY, YOU'RE JUST A MESS TODAY.
44
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(laughs) YES. YES,
45
00:03:07,788 --> 00:03:10,389
BUT YOUR FLY IS DOWN.
46
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- NO, IT'S NOT.
- (laughs)
47
00:03:12,426 --> 00:03:15,660
I'M SORRY, I JUST WANTED TO TAKE
SOME OF THE ATTENTION OFF ME.
48
00:03:15,695 --> 00:03:18,931
LOOK, I'M FEELING A LITTLE
EXPOSED. CAN I GIVE YOU MY NUMBER?
49
00:03:18,966 --> 00:03:20,498
I'M GONNA BE HOME
IN, LIKE, 10 MINUTES
50
00:03:20,534 --> 00:03:22,234
AND THEN I'LL GIVE YOU
EVERYTHING YOU NEED.
51
00:03:22,269 --> 00:03:23,513
YEAH. YEAH, THAT'S COOL.
52
00:03:23,537 --> 00:03:25,448
LET ME GET MY PHONE
AND GET YOUR NUMBER.
53
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- I'M REALLY SORRY.
- THAT'S OKAY. IT'LL BE ALL RIGHT.
54
00:03:28,309 --> 00:03:30,542
WHAT TIME'S DINNER, DADDY?
55
00:03:30,577 --> 00:03:32,455
AS SOON AS I'M DONE
WITH THIS SCRIPT, SWEETIE.
56
00:03:32,479 --> 00:03:34,813
- OKAY.
- (Mrs. Ari laughing) OH MY GOD,
57
00:03:34,848 --> 00:03:37,882
THAT IS SO FUNNY!
58
00:03:37,918 --> 00:03:41,619
(guffaws) NO, YOU
ARE KIDDING ME.
59
00:03:41,655 --> 00:03:43,455
THAT IS SO FUNNY.
60
00:03:43,490 --> 00:03:44,968
(high-pitched) OH MY
GOD, TOO FUNNY.
61
00:03:44,992 --> 00:03:46,702
(imitates) WILL YOU SHUT UP?
62
00:03:46,726 --> 00:03:50,395
OKAY THEN. UM, YES, ASAP.
63
00:03:50,431 --> 00:03:53,665
OKAY. THANK YOU SO MUCH.
64
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WELL, GUESS WHO THAT WAS.
65
00:03:55,936 --> 00:03:57,869
UM... LET ME SEE,
66
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IT WAS CARA GROSSMAN
AND SHE WANTS TO KNOW
67
00:04:00,441 --> 00:04:03,153
IF SHE SHOULD SHOULD GET HER
EYEBROWS WAXED FIRST OR IF YOU SHOULD.
68
00:04:03,177 --> 00:04:05,956
IT WAS MY OLD PRODUCER FROM
"THE YOUNG AND THE RESTLESS."
69
00:04:05,980 --> 00:04:08,280
- WHAT DID HE WANT?
- ME.
70
00:04:08,315 --> 00:04:10,048
I DON'T GET IT.
71
00:04:10,084 --> 00:04:12,562
WELL, IT'S THE 35th
ANNIVERSARY OF "Y&R"
72
00:04:12,586 --> 00:04:15,631
AND THEY WANT ME TO REPRISE
MY ROLE AS KENDALL SCOTT.
73
00:04:15,655 --> 00:04:17,822
ARE YOU SERIOUS?
74
00:04:17,858 --> 00:04:19,824
I AM.
75
00:04:19,860 --> 00:04:22,939
IT SEEMS THAT KENDALL STILL
GETS QUITE A BIT OF FAN MAIL
76
00:04:22,963 --> 00:04:25,208
AND THE WRITERS WERE IN
A BIND AND THEY'VE COME UP
77
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WITH A LITTLE IDEA THAT
COULD WORK FOR TOMORROW.
78
00:04:27,034 --> 00:04:29,145
- I HOPE YOU TOLD THEM NO.
- I TOLD THEM WE'D
TALK ABOUT IT.
79
00:04:29,169 --> 00:04:31,736
WE TALKED ABOUT IT.
SO YOU TELL THEM NO.
80
00:04:31,771 --> 00:04:33,616
WE HAVE NOT
TALKED ABOUT IT, ARI.
81
00:04:33,640 --> 00:04:35,507
WELL, HONEY, WHAT IS
THERE TO TALK ABOUT?
82
00:04:35,542 --> 00:04:38,654
I DON'T KNOW, UM... TELL
ME THAT IT'S EXCITING
83
00:04:38,678 --> 00:04:40,756
AND THAT IF I DID
IT, I'D BE GOOD.
84
00:04:40,780 --> 00:04:43,648
IT'S A SOAP OPERA, BABY. THERE IS NO
GOOD, THERE'S JUST DEGREES OF BAD.
85
00:04:43,683 --> 00:04:46,651
WELL, THEN TELL ME
THAT I WOULD BE PRETTY,
86
00:04:46,686 --> 00:04:48,498
AS PRETTY AS THE
DAY I LEFT THE SHOW.
87
00:04:48,522 --> 00:04:50,188
WELL, YOU LEFT THE
SHOW WHEN YOU WERE 25
88
00:04:50,224 --> 00:04:51,990
AND NOW THEY SHOOT
EVERYTHING IN HIGH DEF.
89
00:04:53,460 --> 00:04:55,793
YOU ARE SUCH AN ASSHOLE!
90
00:04:55,829 --> 00:04:57,940
- COME ON, BABY.
- YEAH, RIGHT. WELL, ASK ANYBODY,
91
00:04:57,964 --> 00:05:00,198
YOU'VE AGED A LOT
WORSE THAN I HAVE, BABY.
92
00:05:00,234 --> 00:05:03,568
COME HERE, HONEY.
WHERE ARE YOU GOING?
93
00:05:03,603 --> 00:05:05,837
- TO CALL MY PRODUCER...
- FOR WHAT?
94
00:05:05,872 --> 00:05:09,107
AND TELL HIM KENDALL
SCOTT, TOWN SLUT, IS BACK.
95
00:05:12,846 --> 00:05:14,913
WHAT'S UP, BOYS?
96
00:05:14,948 --> 00:05:18,308
PFFT, FOR A GUY WHO JUST GOT
INTO AN ACCIDENT, YOU SEEM HAPPY.
97
00:05:19,153 --> 00:05:20,830
MAYBE HE'S GOT A HEAD INJURY.
98
00:05:20,854 --> 00:05:22,954
IT'S A FENDER-BENDER,
DRAMA. I'M FINE. ARE YOU NUTS?
99
00:05:22,989 --> 00:05:25,323
WELL, I HOPE YOU DIDN'T
TELL MS. FARIS THAT,
100
00:05:25,359 --> 00:05:27,103
'CAUSE WE'RE GONNA
SUE THE CRAP OUT OF HER.
101
00:05:27,127 --> 00:05:29,205
WE'RE NOT SUING ANYBODY.
THERE'S BARELY ANY DAMAGE.
102
00:05:29,229 --> 00:05:30,895
YEAH, VISIBLE DAMAGE,
103
00:05:30,931 --> 00:05:33,165
BUT INTERNAL DAMAGE
IS A WHOLE OTHER THING.
104
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- LET IT GO, DRAMA.
- E, COME ON, WHAT'S UP?
105
00:05:35,635 --> 00:05:37,436
I DON'T KNOW. SHE'S CUTE.
106
00:05:37,471 --> 00:05:39,438
- THAT SHE IS.
- WE HAD A LITTLE MOMENT.
107
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- PFFT. NO SHOT.
- NO WAY.
108
00:05:41,708 --> 00:05:44,576
YOU'RE NOT A MEMBER
OF THE CELEB CLUB, BRO.
109
00:05:44,611 --> 00:05:46,589
- IT'LL NEVER HAPPEN.
- I GOT HER NUMBER.
110
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I CRASHED INTO AN 80-YEAR-OLD WOMAN
ONCE. SHE GAVE ME HER NUMBER TOO.
111
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WHATEVER. I'M CALLING.
112
00:05:51,385 --> 00:05:54,919
I BET MY LEFT NUT HE
COULD NOT CLOSE ANNA FARIS.
113
00:05:54,955 --> 00:05:56,921
OH, GEE, A BET I'D LOVE TO WIN.
114
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- SHIT.
- WHAT HAPPENED?
115
00:06:00,127 --> 00:06:02,727
- SHE GAVE ME
THE WRONG NUMBER.
- (laughing)
116
00:06:02,762 --> 00:06:05,029
AW, DON'T FEEL TOO BAD, E.
117
00:06:05,065 --> 00:06:07,199
YOU'RE JUST A REGULAR
PERSON, A CIVILIAN.
118
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TOO BAD SHE DIDN'T HIT ME.
119
00:06:09,369 --> 00:06:11,336
WE'D BE FUCKING BY NOW.
120
00:06:20,380 --> 00:06:22,325
- GOOD MORNING, ARI.
- IS THAT SMIRK FOR ME
121
00:06:22,349 --> 00:06:24,315
OR ARE YOUR BEN
WA BALLS SHIFTING?
122
00:06:24,351 --> 00:06:26,062
JUST WONDERING
HOW YOU'RE FEELING
123
00:06:26,086 --> 00:06:28,131
ABOUT NOT BEING THE BIGGEST
STAR IN YOUR HOUSE ANYMORE.
124
00:06:28,155 --> 00:06:30,188
OH, DON'T BE A WISEASS.
HOW DID YOU KNOW?
125
00:06:30,223 --> 00:06:33,425
- IT'S ON DEFAMER.
- YOU'RE KIDDING.
126
00:06:33,460 --> 00:06:35,638
OH, ARI, BE PROUD OF HER.
127
00:06:35,662 --> 00:06:37,140
SHE'S GONNA LIGHT UP THE SCREEN
128
00:06:37,164 --> 00:06:39,142
AND BRING A NEWFOUND
EXCITEMENT TO GENOA CITY.
129
00:06:39,166 --> 00:06:41,499
- YOU WATCH THAT SHIT?
- "Y&R" IS FOURTH
130
00:06:41,535 --> 00:06:43,513
ON MY TiVo SEASON
PASS PRIORITY LIST.
131
00:06:43,537 --> 00:06:45,748
- I HAVEN'T MISSED
AN EPISODE IN 12 YEARS.
- THAT IS SO SAD.
132
00:06:45,772 --> 00:06:47,316
YOU SHOULD GO DOWN
TO THE SET TODAY, ARI,
133
00:06:47,340 --> 00:06:48,951
WATCH YOUR WIFE'S
WORK, BE SUPPORTIVE.
134
00:06:48,975 --> 00:06:51,209
I'VE GOT MY OWN LIFE'S
WORK TO SUPPORT, LLOYD.
135
00:06:58,952 --> 00:07:00,885
LLOYD!
136
00:07:01,921 --> 00:07:04,355
WHO THE HELL IS THIS?
137
00:07:05,992 --> 00:07:08,671
THAT'S THE UNDERAGE
STUDENT SHE SEDUCES... JULIO.
138
00:07:08,695 --> 00:07:10,506
IT'S NOT A GREAT PICTURE.
I HAVE A BETTER ONE.
139
00:07:10,530 --> 00:07:12,075
IT'S MY SCREEN SAVER,
IF YOU WANNA SEE.
140
00:07:12,099 --> 00:07:14,009
- CLEAR MY SCHEDULE.
- EVEN YOUR LUNCH?
141
00:07:14,033 --> 00:07:16,513
I'M GOING TO BE EATING
JULIO'S LUNCH TODAY.
142
00:07:19,005 --> 00:07:21,005
HI, JULIO.
143
00:07:21,040 --> 00:07:23,508
- I GOT IT.
- GOT WHAT?
144
00:07:23,543 --> 00:07:25,776
ANNA FARIS'S ADDRESS.
WAIT TILL SHE SEES ME
145
00:07:25,812 --> 00:07:27,778
SHOW UP ON HER DOORSTEP.
146
00:07:27,814 --> 00:07:30,025
WHAT? I SHOULD PAY FOR THE CAR?
147
00:07:30,049 --> 00:07:32,395
E, IS THIS REALLY
ABOUT THE MONEY
148
00:07:32,419 --> 00:07:34,163
OR IS THIS ABOUT
YOUR LITTLE MOMENT?
149
00:07:34,187 --> 00:07:36,954
- WE DID HAVE A MOMENT.
- SHE'S AN ACTRESS.
150
00:07:36,990 --> 00:07:39,790
- SO WHAT, I'M AN IDIOT?
- NO, SHE'S A GOOD ACTRESS.
151
00:07:39,826 --> 00:07:43,661
IS E STILL BITCHING ABOUT
BEING BITCH-SLAPPED BY A BITCH?
152
00:07:43,696 --> 00:07:47,098
- HE'S RIGHTFULLY UPSET.
- YEAH, WELL, LET IT GO. WE HAVE BIGGER PROBLEMS.
153
00:07:47,134 --> 00:07:49,645
WHAT'S THAT TURTLE? PINK
DOT INSISTING ON SEEING A NOTE
154
00:07:49,669 --> 00:07:51,647
- BEFORE YOU USE VINCE'S
CREDIT CARD AGAIN?
- HO HO HO.
155
00:07:51,671 --> 00:07:54,484
- THEY DISCONTINUED
HIS FAVORITE WEED.
- OUR FAVORITE WEED,
156
00:07:54,508 --> 00:07:57,275
AND IT'S NOT DISCONTINUED,
IT'S EXTINCT, GONE FOREVER.
157
00:07:57,310 --> 00:07:59,277
LIKE THE YANGTZE RIVER DOLPHIN.
158
00:07:59,312 --> 00:08:02,057
I GOTTA WAIT FOR THE CABLE GUY TODAY.
HOW AM I GONNA DO THAT WITH NO WEED?
159
00:08:02,081 --> 00:08:04,093
WHY DON'T YOU PICK UP ONE
OF THE OTHER 50 KINDS OF WEED
160
00:08:04,117 --> 00:08:06,962
- YOU'VE BEEN LIVING OFF
FOR THE LAST 20 YEARS?
- I'M TOO DISTRAUGHT.
161
00:08:06,986 --> 00:08:09,365
TURTLE, WHAT IF I WAS TO TELL
YOU THAT I HAVE A SECRET STASH
162
00:08:09,389 --> 00:08:11,889
OF THE MOST-RECENTLY-EXTINCT
AURORA BOREALIS
163
00:08:11,924 --> 00:08:13,724
IN A BOX IN THE LIVING ROOM?
164
00:08:13,760 --> 00:08:15,571
I WOULD SAY IF I WASN'T
WORRIED ABOUT APPEARANCES,
165
00:08:15,595 --> 00:08:17,340
I WOULD KISS YOU RIGHT
NOW, VIN. HOW MUCH YOU GOT?
166
00:08:17,364 --> 00:08:19,642
ENOUGH TO MAKE WAITING
FOR THE CABLE GUY TOLERABLE.
167
00:08:19,666 --> 00:08:21,299
FANTASTIC.
168
00:08:21,334 --> 00:08:22,978
YOU KNOW WHAT?
MAYBE I'LL STICK AROUND,
169
00:08:23,002 --> 00:08:25,381
COOK US A NICE LUNCHTIME
FEAST. YOU DO THE SHOPPING.
170
00:08:25,405 --> 00:08:27,272
IF I PICK THE MENU.
171
00:08:27,307 --> 00:08:29,285
DONE. YOU IN, E?
172
00:08:29,309 --> 00:08:30,975
I CAN'T. GOT TOO MUCH
STUFF TO DO TODAY.
173
00:08:31,010 --> 00:08:32,843
I'LL SEE YOU GUYS LATER.
174
00:08:32,879 --> 00:08:35,213
WHAT'S HE GOTTA DO?
175
00:08:35,248 --> 00:08:37,682
I REALLY MISS THIS
LOVELY CANVAS.
176
00:08:37,717 --> 00:08:39,895
OH, WELL, I HOPE I DON'T
DISAPPOINT, STEVEN.
177
00:08:39,919 --> 00:08:41,819
IT'S REALLY NERVE-WRACKING
178
00:08:41,854 --> 00:08:44,133
WHEN YOU HAVEN'T BEEN IN
FRONT OF THE CAMERA FOR SO LONG.
179
00:08:44,157 --> 00:08:47,758
DON'T WORRY. YOU LOOK AS GOOD
AS EVER AND YOU WILL BE FANTASTIC.
180
00:08:47,794 --> 00:08:50,328
SURPRISE, HONEY. YOUR
HUSBAND HAS ARRIVED.
181
00:08:50,363 --> 00:08:52,230
ARI, WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
182
00:08:52,265 --> 00:08:54,432
WELL, I WANTED TO SEE YOUR WORK.
183
00:08:54,467 --> 00:08:56,712
I WANTED TO BE THE SUPPORTIVE
HUSBAND AND MEET YOUR COLLEAGUES.
184
00:08:56,736 --> 00:08:58,581
HELLO, HOW ARE YOU? ARI
GOLD. NICE TO MEET YOU.
185
00:08:58,605 --> 00:09:00,316
I AM THE MAN BEHIND
THIS BEAUTIFUL WOMAN.
186
00:09:00,340 --> 00:09:02,640
YOUR WIFE HAS THE
MOST AMAZING SKIN.
187
00:09:02,676 --> 00:09:04,775
- SHE DOES, DOESN'T SHE?
- UH, STEVEN,
188
00:09:04,811 --> 00:09:07,512
DO YOU THINK YOU COULD GIVE
US JUST A COUPLE SECONDS?
189
00:09:07,547 --> 00:09:09,814
UH-HUH, SURE. WHATEVER YOU NEED.
190
00:09:09,849 --> 00:09:11,649
OKAY.
191
00:09:11,685 --> 00:09:13,962
- ARI, REALLY,
WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
- I HEARD ABOUT YOUR SCENE.
192
00:09:13,986 --> 00:09:16,465
OH, COME ON, IT'S A SOAP. WHAT
DID YOU THINK I WAS GONNA BE DOING?
193
00:09:16,489 --> 00:09:18,723
I DON'T KNOW, DISCOVERING
THAT YOUR HUSBAND
194
00:09:18,758 --> 00:09:21,092
IS REALLY YOUR
LONG-LOST TRANNY COUSIN?
195
00:09:21,127 --> 00:09:22,760
WHO GIVES A SHIT? ALL I KNOW IS
196
00:09:22,795 --> 00:09:25,062
I DON'T WANT ANOTHER
MAN'S LIPS ON MY WIFE.
197
00:09:25,098 --> 00:09:27,109
- IT'S BARELY A KISS.
- AND HOW ARE YOUR KIDS
198
00:09:27,133 --> 00:09:28,899
GOING TO EXPLAIN THAT IN SCHOOL
199
00:09:28,935 --> 00:09:30,901
WHEN PEOPLE ASK WHY THEIR MOMMY
200
00:09:30,937 --> 00:09:33,304
IS ON TV BARELY
KISSING JUAN VALDEZ?
201
00:09:33,340 --> 00:09:36,274
SARAH'S BEST FRIEND'S MOTHER JUST
GOT RAPED ON "CRIMINAL MINDS" LAST WEEK.
202
00:09:36,309 --> 00:09:39,344
A... RAPE IS INVOLUNTARY
AND B... IT'S PRIME TIME.
203
00:09:39,379 --> 00:09:41,346
- YOU ARE SUCH AN ASSHOLE.
- BABY,
204
00:09:41,381 --> 00:09:43,292
YOU'RE 30 MINUTES
AWAY FROM GETTING IT ON
205
00:09:43,316 --> 00:09:45,094
WITH A 19-YEAR-OLD
LATIN BULLFIGHTER
206
00:09:45,118 --> 00:09:47,952
AND I PASS ON HOT PIECES OF ASS
207
00:09:47,987 --> 00:09:50,199
THAT THROW THEMSELVES
AT ME ALL DAY EVERY DAY
208
00:09:50,223 --> 00:09:53,168
WITHOUT SO MUCH AS A
CUPPING OF AN ASS CHEEK.
209
00:09:53,192 --> 00:09:55,304
YOU KNOW WHAT? I'LL TELL
YOU, IF YOU CAN GET ONE OF THEM
210
00:09:55,328 --> 00:09:57,773
TO FUCK YOU ON NATIONAL
TELEVISION, YOU HAVE MY BLESSING.
211
00:09:57,797 --> 00:09:59,764
ARI, GO BACK TO WORK.
212
00:09:59,799 --> 00:10:02,433
BABY, WE AGREED TO SUFFER
THROUGH MONOGAMY TOGETHER.
213
00:10:02,469 --> 00:10:04,636
IF YOU LOVE ME, YOU WON'T DO IT!
214
00:10:04,671 --> 00:10:07,082
IF YOU LOVE ME, YOU WILL
GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE.
215
00:10:07,106 --> 00:10:08,917
SERIOUSLY, ARI, YOU
ARE PISSING ME OFF.
216
00:10:08,941 --> 00:10:10,675
GO BACK TO WORK.
217
00:10:12,279 --> 00:10:14,345
(hip-hop music playing)
218
00:10:19,386 --> 00:10:21,919
(beeps)
219
00:10:21,954 --> 00:10:26,023
(phone rings)
220
00:10:26,058 --> 00:10:27,925
- HELLO?
- ANNA.
221
00:10:27,960 --> 00:10:31,462
- YEAH, WHO'S THIS?
- THE GUY YOU SMASHED INTO
LAST NIGHT.
222
00:10:31,498 --> 00:10:35,366
OH MY GOD, I AM SO SORRY I GAVE
YOU THE WRONG PHONE NUMBER.
223
00:10:35,402 --> 00:10:38,536
- YEAH, YOU DID.
- OH, IT WAS A TOTAL ACCIDENT.
224
00:10:38,571 --> 00:10:40,705
- ANOTHER ONE?
- Hey, um...
225
00:10:40,740 --> 00:10:42,873
HOW DID YOU FIND MY HOUSE?
226
00:10:42,909 --> 00:10:45,343
- STAR MAPS.
- RIGHT.
227
00:10:45,378 --> 00:10:48,145
SO ARE YOU, LIKE,
HERE TO BEAT ME UP?
228
00:10:48,181 --> 00:10:50,715
- NO.
- 'Cause you do realize
229
00:10:50,750 --> 00:10:53,228
IT'S A LITTLE NUTTY TRACKING
ME DOWN LIKE THIS, RIGHT?
230
00:10:53,252 --> 00:10:55,687
IF YOU DIDN'T LOOK SO
HARMLESS, I'D BE WORRIED.
231
00:10:55,722 --> 00:10:57,855
- I LOOK HARMLESS?
- YEAH, THAT'S A GOOD THING.
232
00:10:57,890 --> 00:10:59,902
I'm in the business. I
manage Vincent Chase.
233
00:10:59,926 --> 00:11:02,037
I'M NOT A CRAZY PERSON.
I'M JUST A LITTLE PISSED OFF.
234
00:11:02,061 --> 00:11:03,806
I MEAN, YOU BLEW
OFF THE ACCIDENT.
235
00:11:03,830 --> 00:11:06,241
LOOK, IF I CAN JUST GET YOUR
INSURANCE INFO, THAT'D BE GREAT.
236
00:11:06,265 --> 00:11:08,800
YEAH. OKAY, COME IN.
237
00:11:08,835 --> 00:11:10,802
THANK YOU.
238
00:11:16,810 --> 00:11:19,344
I SWEAR I DIDN'T
DO IT ON PURPOSE.
239
00:11:19,379 --> 00:11:22,847
THE PHONE IS NEW AND I'M
JUST TOTALLY NUMBER DYSLEXIC.
240
00:11:22,882 --> 00:11:25,249
3253, 2353...
241
00:11:25,284 --> 00:11:27,463
MY BRAIN JUST CAN'T
PROCESS THE DIFFERENCE.
242
00:11:27,487 --> 00:11:29,520
WELL, I'M SORRY TO
JUST SHOW UP LIKE THIS.
243
00:11:29,556 --> 00:11:32,234
NO, LISTEN, I'M CRAZY
ENOUGH TO DO THE SAME THING.
244
00:11:32,258 --> 00:11:34,737
IN HIGH SCHOOL SOMEONE
PUT GUM ON MY LOCKER ONCE
245
00:11:34,761 --> 00:11:37,039
AND I SPENT THREE WEEKS
TRYING TO TRACK DOWN WHO IT WAS.
246
00:11:37,063 --> 00:11:38,162
WHAT HAPPENED?
247
00:11:38,197 --> 00:11:40,698
UH, I GOT MY ASS
KICKED BY JANE NEVINS,
248
00:11:40,734 --> 00:11:43,000
THE 300-LB RESIDENT
SCHOOL LUNATIC.
249
00:11:43,035 --> 00:11:45,436
- (chuckles)
- SO SHOULD WE DO THIS?
250
00:11:45,472 --> 00:11:48,072
- YEAH.
- OKAY, HERE'S MINE.
251
00:11:48,107 --> 00:11:50,775
THERE'S MY STUFF RIGHT THERE.
252
00:11:50,810 --> 00:11:52,988
SO IS YOUR CAR
TOTALLY SCREWED UP?
253
00:11:53,012 --> 00:11:55,946
UH, NOT TOO BAD,
ACTUALLY. YOURS?
254
00:11:55,982 --> 00:11:58,583
COMPLETELY. I DID
SOMETHING TO THE WHEELS.
255
00:11:58,618 --> 00:12:00,785
YOU KNOW, I GUESS
IT'S WHAT I DESERVE.
256
00:12:00,820 --> 00:12:03,087
YEAH, I'VE BEEN WAITING
40 MINUTES FOR A CAB
257
00:12:03,122 --> 00:12:05,089
TO TAKE ME TO A
MEETING. I AM SO LATE.
258
00:12:05,124 --> 00:12:07,091
I CAN GIVE YOU A LIFT.
259
00:12:07,126 --> 00:12:09,126
REALLY? YOU'D DO THAT?
260
00:12:09,161 --> 00:12:12,307
- I PROBABLY SHOULD
HAVE ASKED HOW FAR FIRST.
- OH NO, IT'S REALLY CLOSE.
261
00:12:12,331 --> 00:12:15,143
- NO PROBLEM THEN.
- OKAY, I'M GONNA GO
GRAB MY STUFF.
262
00:12:15,167 --> 00:12:17,134
OKAY.
263
00:12:20,072 --> 00:12:22,874
(groans)
264
00:12:22,909 --> 00:12:24,876
(chuckles)
265
00:12:24,911 --> 00:12:28,813
- THIS IS NICE.
- YEAH. YEAH.
266
00:12:28,848 --> 00:12:32,483
WE DON'T GET TOO MUCH ALONE
TIME, JUST YOU AND ME, BRO.
267
00:12:32,519 --> 00:12:34,886
YEAH.
268
00:12:40,860 --> 00:12:42,493
SO WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO?
269
00:12:44,798 --> 00:12:46,931
WELL, WE GOT NO TV.
270
00:12:48,100 --> 00:12:50,735
- WANNA TALK?
- SURE.
271
00:12:55,308 --> 00:12:57,141
I GOT NOTHIN'.
272
00:12:57,176 --> 00:12:59,777
YEAH, ME NEITHER.
YOU WANNA SMOKE?
273
00:12:59,813 --> 00:13:01,446
WE PROMISED TURTLE WE'D WAIT.
274
00:13:01,481 --> 00:13:04,161
- I WON'T TELL
IF YOU DON'T.
- SPARK IT UP.
275
00:13:05,685 --> 00:13:07,652
OH, YEAH.
276
00:13:15,127 --> 00:13:17,562
THE LITTLE BASTARD TOOK IT ALL.
277
00:13:20,667 --> 00:13:23,512
I WAS RIGHT TO TAKE IT, 'CAUSE YOU
GUYS CANNOT CONTROL YOURSELVES.
278
00:13:23,536 --> 00:13:25,681
WHEN ARE YOU BRINGING
IT BACK? VINCE IS BORED.
279
00:13:25,705 --> 00:13:27,182
I'LL BE HOME SOON. RELAX.
280
00:13:27,206 --> 00:13:28,940
YOU'D BETTER NOT
SMOKE ANY OF THAT
281
00:13:28,975 --> 00:13:30,942
BEFORE YOU GET BACK, TURTLE.
282
00:13:30,977 --> 00:13:33,644
DID YOU HEAR THAT?
VINCE FEELS VIOLATED.
283
00:13:33,680 --> 00:13:35,925
OH, PLEASE. I WOULD HAVE COME
HOME TO NOTHING BUT STEMS
284
00:13:35,949 --> 00:13:37,927
IF I LEFT IT WITH YOU
TWO DEGENERATES.
285
00:13:37,951 --> 00:13:41,063
EXCUSE ME. HEY, I ONLY
HAVE A FEW THINGS.
286
00:13:41,087 --> 00:13:42,698
WOULD YOU MIND IF I
WENT AHEAD OF YOU?
287
00:13:42,722 --> 00:13:44,388
I'LL CALL YOU BACK.
288
00:13:44,423 --> 00:13:46,991
UH, SURE, YEAH, I'LL LET YOU GO,
289
00:13:47,026 --> 00:13:49,627
BUT IF YOUR BOYFRIEND COMES
RUNNING UP HERE WITH 20 MORE ITEMS,
290
00:13:49,662 --> 00:13:51,863
- I'M GONNA BE PISSED.
- I DON'T HAVE A BOYFRIEND.
291
00:13:51,898 --> 00:13:53,865
THEN BY ALL MEANS.
292
00:13:53,900 --> 00:13:55,867
THANKS.
293
00:13:55,902 --> 00:13:57,568
Turtle: HEALTHY LIVING.
294
00:13:57,604 --> 00:14:00,783
YEAH, ME AND MY FRIEND ARE
HAVING A LITTLE MIDDAY FIESTA.
295
00:14:00,807 --> 00:14:03,140
HEY, YOU KNOW WHAT? ME AND
MY FRIENDS ARE HAVING ONE TOO.
296
00:14:03,175 --> 00:14:05,042
MAYBE WE SHOULD,
UH, COMBINE PARTIES.
297
00:14:05,077 --> 00:14:07,211
- I DON'T THINK SO.
- OH, COME ON.
298
00:14:07,246 --> 00:14:09,157
I GUARANTEE YOU OUR PARTY
WILL BE BETTER THAN YOURS.
299
00:14:09,181 --> 00:14:10,748
OH, YEAH? WHY?
300
00:14:10,783 --> 00:14:12,550
'CAUSE IT'S AT VINCENT
CHASE'S HOUSE.
301
00:14:12,585 --> 00:14:14,552
REALLY?
302
00:14:16,188 --> 00:14:18,155
(distant bell ringing)
303
00:14:20,459 --> 00:14:22,092
- JAVIER.
- YES?
304
00:14:22,128 --> 00:14:24,762
ARI GOLD. DO YOU KNOW ME?
305
00:14:24,797 --> 00:14:27,543
(Spanish accent) OH,
YES YES, I KNOW OF YOU.
306
00:14:27,567 --> 00:14:29,845
I'D SHAKE YOUR HAND, BUT I
JUST USED MY COCOA BUTTER.
307
00:14:29,869 --> 00:14:31,780
ARE YOU INTERESTED
IN REPRESENTING ME?
308
00:14:31,804 --> 00:14:34,304
I MAY BE. I MAY BE,
309
00:14:34,340 --> 00:14:36,273
BUT RIGHT NOW I'M INTERESTED
310
00:14:36,308 --> 00:14:38,375
IN TALKING TO YOU
ABOUT YOUR SCENE TODAY.
311
00:14:38,411 --> 00:14:39,922
SCENE? I HAVE MANY SCENES.
312
00:14:39,946 --> 00:14:42,024
THERE'S ONLY ONE SCENE THAT
I WANNA TALK TO YOU ABOUT.
313
00:14:42,048 --> 00:14:44,459
- WHICH ONE IS THAT?
- IT'S THE ONE
WITH MRS. GOLD.
314
00:14:44,483 --> 00:14:47,518
- MRS. GOLD?
- YEAH, MY WIFE.
315
00:14:47,554 --> 00:14:50,254
- SHE PLAYS KENDALL SCOTT.
- OH, KENDALL SCOTT.
316
00:14:50,289 --> 00:14:52,590
I'M SORRY, I ONLY KNOW
CHARACTER NAMES.
317
00:14:52,625 --> 00:14:54,091
I'M A METHOD ACTOR.
318
00:14:54,126 --> 00:14:56,093
MM, WELL, UH... AHEM...
319
00:14:56,128 --> 00:14:58,407
YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO
KISS HER ON THE MOUTH.
320
00:14:58,431 --> 00:15:00,932
- JUST ACTING.
- DON'T.
321
00:15:00,967 --> 00:15:02,945
MR. GOLD, THE SCRIPT
SAYS THAT I HAVE TO.
322
00:15:02,969 --> 00:15:05,436
LOOK, JAVIER, I CAN
HELP YOU, OKAY?
323
00:15:05,471 --> 00:15:07,449
YOU DON'T WANT TO SPEND
THE REST OF YOUR LIFE
324
00:15:07,473 --> 00:15:11,042
HAVING FAT MIDDLE-AGED
WOMEN AND ODD HOMOSEXUAL MEN
325
00:15:11,077 --> 00:15:13,422
GETTING OFF TO YOUR WORK, DO
YOU? YOU HAVE BIGGER DREAMS,
326
00:15:13,446 --> 00:15:15,846
I'M SURE, AND LET ME TELL YOU,
327
00:15:15,882 --> 00:15:18,182
AS ANYONE IN THIS
TOWN CAN TELL YOU,
328
00:15:18,217 --> 00:15:20,417
I AM A DREAM WEAVER, ALL RIGHT?
329
00:15:20,453 --> 00:15:22,064
SO YOU FOCUS ON WHAT I'M SAYING
330
00:15:22,088 --> 00:15:24,399
AND I WILL HAVE YOU KISSING
UGLY BETTY BY CHRISTMAS,
331
00:15:24,423 --> 00:15:27,543
BUT NOBODY GETS TO KISS
MY WIFE, NOBODY BUT ME.
332
00:15:28,327 --> 00:15:30,294
OH, THIS IS NICE.
333
00:15:30,329 --> 00:15:32,697
I CAN GET USED TO
HAVING A PERSONAL DRIVER.
334
00:15:32,732 --> 00:15:35,343
WELL, I MIGHT HAVE TO TAKE THE
JOB JUST TO KEEP THE ROADS SAFE...
335
00:15:35,367 --> 00:15:38,135
- OH!
- WITH YOU
DRIVING, YES.
336
00:15:38,170 --> 00:15:40,170
YOU KNOW, YOU DID STOP SHORT.
337
00:15:40,206 --> 00:15:42,084
WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
WHEN YOU ARE THE PERSON
338
00:15:42,108 --> 00:15:44,319
THAT CRASHES INTO ANOTHER
PERSON, IT'S ALWAYS YOUR FAULT.
339
00:15:44,343 --> 00:15:47,189
- THAT'S COMMON KNOWLEDGE. EVERYBODY KNOWS THAT.
- YEAH, I KNOW...
340
00:15:47,213 --> 00:15:49,179
BUT YOU DID STOP SHORT.
341
00:15:49,215 --> 00:15:51,616
A LITTLE BIT. BUT
STILL, YOUR FAULT.
342
00:15:51,651 --> 00:15:53,629
SO WHERE AM I TAKING YOU ANYWAY?
343
00:15:53,653 --> 00:15:55,620
OH, I'VE GOT THIS
MEETING WITH A DIRECTOR
344
00:15:55,655 --> 00:15:58,067
- FOR THIS MOVIE
I'M GONNA DO.
- OH YEAH? WHAT MOVIE?
345
00:15:58,091 --> 00:16:00,069
- "BROWN-EYED GIRL."
- OKAY, I'VE READ THAT.
346
00:16:00,093 --> 00:16:02,627
THEY SENT IT OVER
FOR VINCE A WAYS BACK.
347
00:16:02,662 --> 00:16:04,394
SO WHAT HAPPENED?
YOU DIDN'T LIKE IT?
348
00:16:04,430 --> 00:16:06,396
NO, NOT FOR VINCE.
349
00:16:06,432 --> 00:16:08,833
DO YOU LIKE IT FOR ME?
350
00:16:08,868 --> 00:16:11,146
I MEAN, I DON'T KNOW.
I READ IT FOR VINCE.
351
00:16:11,170 --> 00:16:13,370
NICE SAVE.
352
00:16:13,405 --> 00:16:16,051
- (both chuckle)
- NO, SERIOUSLY, IT WAS
A LONG TIME AGO.
353
00:16:16,075 --> 00:16:18,120
I DON'T EVEN REMEMBER
SPECIFICS. SO IS THIS IT?
354
00:16:18,144 --> 00:16:20,645
YEAH. UM... LOOK, CAN YOU PLEASE
355
00:16:20,680 --> 00:16:23,025
BE HONEST WITH ME AND TELL ME
WHAT YOU THOUGHT OF THE SCRIPT?
356
00:16:23,049 --> 00:16:24,860
WHAT DOES IT
MATTER WHAT I THINK?
357
00:16:24,884 --> 00:16:27,451
WELL, BECAUSE NOW I'VE
GOTTA GO INTO THIS MEETING
358
00:16:27,486 --> 00:16:29,520
AND YOU'RE ALL IN MY HEAD AND...
359
00:16:29,555 --> 00:16:31,355
JUST HUMOR ME. I CAN TAKE IT.
360
00:16:31,390 --> 00:16:34,202
OKAY. ALL RIGHT,
LOOK, I DIDN'T LIKE IT.
361
00:16:34,226 --> 00:16:36,538
I MEAN, IF IT WERE JUST A
REGULAR ROMANTIC COMEDY,
362
00:16:36,562 --> 00:16:39,508
I'D GO, "OKAY, IT'S CUTE." BUT IT'S
NOT. IT TRIES TO BE SO MUCH MORE.
363
00:16:39,532 --> 00:16:41,409
ALL RIGHT? WHEN MOVIES
DO THAT, I DON'T KNOW,
364
00:16:41,433 --> 00:16:43,078
IT JUST... IT PISSES ME OFF.
365
00:16:43,102 --> 00:16:45,014
ALL RIGHT, LOOK, THE THIRD
ACT... WHEN IT LOOKS LIKE
366
00:16:45,038 --> 00:16:46,949
THEY'RE GONNA GET BACK
TOGETHER AND ALL OF A SUDDEN
367
00:16:46,973 --> 00:16:49,051
SHE'S TAKING OFF TO START AN
ORGANIC DOG FOOD COMPANY?
368
00:16:49,075 --> 00:16:51,553
I MEAN, COME ON. IT JUST
FELT BROAD AND MANIPULATIVE
369
00:16:51,577 --> 00:16:53,221
AND JUST... I DON'T
KNOW, I DIDN'T BUY IT.
370
00:16:53,245 --> 00:16:56,246
YOU REALLY FORGOT
THE SPECIFICS, HUH?
371
00:16:56,282 --> 00:16:59,283
- WAS THAT
JUST WAY TOO HONEST?
- NO NO NO NO.
372
00:16:59,318 --> 00:17:02,252
NO, I APPRECIATE IT. AND I
REALLY APPRECIATE THE RIDE.
373
00:17:02,288 --> 00:17:04,088
- THANK YOU.
- YOU'RE WELCOME.
374
00:17:04,123 --> 00:17:06,256
SO I GUESS OUR INSURANCE
PEOPLE WILL TALK?
375
00:17:06,292 --> 00:17:07,636
YEAH. YEAH, I GUESS.
376
00:17:07,660 --> 00:17:09,359
OKAY, IT WAS NICE MEETING YOU.
377
00:17:09,395 --> 00:17:11,696
NICE MEETING YOU. GOOD
LUCK ON YOUR MEETING.
378
00:17:11,731 --> 00:17:13,564
- THANK YOU. BYE.
- BYE.
379
00:17:17,136 --> 00:17:20,437
SO WHEN DO WE GET TO SMOKE SOME
OF THIS ALLEGEDLY EXTINCT WEED?
380
00:17:20,472 --> 00:17:22,450
WHEN WE GET BACK TO THE HOUSE.
381
00:17:22,474 --> 00:17:24,987
- WHY CAN'T WE
JUST SMOKE SOME NOW?
- 'CAUSE I PROMISED MY FRIENDS
382
00:17:25,011 --> 00:17:26,288
I WOULDN'T SMOKE
IT WITHOUT THEM.
383
00:17:26,312 --> 00:17:27,945
THAT'S KIND OF GAY.
384
00:17:27,980 --> 00:17:30,092
I THOUGHT YOU WERE GONNA
BRING TWO FRIENDS AS HOT AS YOU.
385
00:17:30,116 --> 00:17:31,682
STOP. SHE'S COOL.
386
00:17:31,718 --> 00:17:33,962
- WHAT'S HE SAYING
ABOUT ME UP THERE?
- NOTHING.
387
00:17:33,986 --> 00:17:36,353
- CAN WE AT LEAST SMELL IT?
- YOU CAN, 'CAUSE YOU'RE HOT.
388
00:17:36,388 --> 00:17:38,122
OH, EAT ME.
389
00:17:38,157 --> 00:17:40,635
NOT EVEN IF YOU BATHE YOURSELF
IN BUTTERSCOTCH, SWEETHEART.
390
00:17:40,659 --> 00:17:42,259
THAT SMELLS GOOD.
391
00:17:42,294 --> 00:17:44,272
JUST PASS THE BOWL BACK
AND LET US TAKE ONE HIT.
392
00:17:44,296 --> 00:17:46,208
PUT THE CAP BACK ON,
PASS IT UP AND SHUT UP.
393
00:17:46,232 --> 00:17:47,475
- TURTLE!
- STOP SIGN!
394
00:17:47,499 --> 00:17:50,334
- OH, SHIT.
- (horn honks)
395
00:17:50,369 --> 00:17:52,636
(siren wailing)
396
00:17:52,671 --> 00:17:54,138
OH, GREAT GREAT.
397
00:17:54,173 --> 00:17:56,140
WAY TO GO, RETARD.
398
00:17:58,111 --> 00:18:00,477
(siren stops)
399
00:18:03,515 --> 00:18:05,816
(police radio chatter)
400
00:18:05,852 --> 00:18:07,818
HELLO, OFFICER.
401
00:18:07,854 --> 00:18:10,187
LICENSE, REGISTRATION, PLEASE.
402
00:18:10,223 --> 00:18:13,224
IT'S IN HERE. I'M GONNA
REACH FOR IT SLOW.
403
00:18:13,259 --> 00:18:15,926
(sniffs) WHAT'S THAT SMELL?
404
00:18:17,696 --> 00:18:19,674
Man: BRING IT IN, BRING
IT IN. RIGHT THERE.
405
00:18:19,698 --> 00:18:21,176
Director: AND ACTION!
406
00:18:21,200 --> 00:18:24,001
- MISS KENDALL.
- COME ON, JULIO,
407
00:18:24,036 --> 00:18:26,514
YOU CAN'T HONESTLY CALL
ME THAT WITH A STRAIGHT FACE
408
00:18:26,538 --> 00:18:28,516
NOW THAT YOU'RE ALL GROWN UP.
409
00:18:28,540 --> 00:18:32,709
I'M SORRY. YOU LOOK AMAZING.
410
00:18:32,745 --> 00:18:34,711
MISS KENDALL, YOU
WERE MY BABYSITTER.
411
00:18:34,747 --> 00:18:37,614
YOU'RE NOT A BABY ANYMORE.
412
00:18:37,650 --> 00:18:40,184
AND NOW THAT WE'RE BOTH ADULTS,
413
00:18:40,219 --> 00:18:43,453
I THOUGHT WE COULD
CATCH UP LIKE ADULTS.
414
00:18:43,489 --> 00:18:45,790
- MISS KENDALL...
- JULIO,
415
00:18:45,825 --> 00:18:47,792
WHAT WOULD YOU DO TO ME
416
00:18:47,827 --> 00:18:50,027
IF I LET YOU DO ANYTHING
417
00:18:50,062 --> 00:18:52,797
AND IF I PROMISED NEVER
TO TELL YOUR UNCLE JUAN?
418
00:18:52,832 --> 00:18:55,833
JULIO, TELL ME,
WHAT WOULD YOU DO?
419
00:18:55,868 --> 00:18:59,036
I WOULD DO...
420
00:18:59,071 --> 00:19:01,038
THIS.
421
00:19:01,073 --> 00:19:02,717
Director: CUT!
422
00:19:02,741 --> 00:19:04,753
WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT?
YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO KISS HER.
423
00:19:04,777 --> 00:19:07,311
I THOUGHT IT WAS A
LITTLE BIT MORE ROMANTIC.
424
00:19:07,346 --> 00:19:09,557
- IT'S NOT. LET'S DO IT AGAIN.
- I'D RATHER NOT.
425
00:19:09,581 --> 00:19:12,016
YOU'D RATHER NOT WHAT?
426
00:19:12,051 --> 00:19:13,528
I'D RATHER NOT KISS HER.
427
00:19:13,552 --> 00:19:15,330
WHAT IS THE PROBLEM HERE?
428
00:19:15,354 --> 00:19:17,487
I'M SORRY, IS IT ME? AM I
DOING SOMETHING WRONG?
429
00:19:17,523 --> 00:19:20,157
NO NO NO, IT'S NOT YOU.
YOU'RE AN INCREDIBLE WOMAN.
430
00:19:20,193 --> 00:19:22,159
SO WHAT THEN?
431
00:19:22,195 --> 00:19:24,695
(sighs) IT'S HIM.
432
00:19:26,065 --> 00:19:28,765
HE THREATENED MY CAREER
AND HE PROMISED ME "UGLY BETTY."
433
00:19:28,801 --> 00:19:30,767
I WILL BE RIGHT BACK.
434
00:19:32,805 --> 00:19:35,150
- UH, YOU ARE INTERFERING
WITH MY WORK.
- BABY, COME ON.
435
00:19:35,174 --> 00:19:37,719
HONEY, NO MATTER WHAT YOU SAY
OR DO, HE'S NOT GONNA KISS YOU.
436
00:19:37,743 --> 00:19:39,621
- OH, REALLY?
- NO, IT'S NOT GONNA
HAPPEN, HONEY.
437
00:19:39,645 --> 00:19:41,611
YOU REALLY THINK THAT? OKAY.
438
00:19:53,025 --> 00:19:56,260
I KISSED HIM. IT'S
DONE. LET'S SHOOT THIS.
439
00:19:56,295 --> 00:19:58,829
AGH!
440
00:19:58,865 --> 00:20:02,166
YOU DON'T LOOK LIKE YOU
HAVE GLAUCOMA TO ME.
441
00:20:02,201 --> 00:20:03,846
- WHAT'S HE SAYING TO HIM?
- I DON'T KNOW,
442
00:20:03,870 --> 00:20:05,747
BUT CAN HE ARREST
ALL OF US FOR THIS?
443
00:20:05,771 --> 00:20:07,872
I'M TELLING HIM HE
KIDNAPPED US IF HE TRIES.
444
00:20:07,907 --> 00:20:10,385
OFFICER, PLEASE. WE
PURCHASED THAT WEED LEGALLY.
445
00:20:10,409 --> 00:20:12,554
- WE WEREN'T GONNA SMOKE IT.
- SON, I DON'T WANT TO HEAR
446
00:20:12,578 --> 00:20:15,246
ANOTHER SYLLABLE OUT OF YOU
UNLESS I ASK YOU A QUESTION.
447
00:20:16,916 --> 00:20:19,549
NOW IT SAYS YOUR TRUCK IS
REGISTERED TO VINCENT CHASE.
448
00:20:19,585 --> 00:20:22,953
YEAH, I'M SORT OF HIS
DRIVER. ARE YOU A FAN?
449
00:20:22,989 --> 00:20:25,722
AND IF I THROW YOU IN JAIL, WHO'S
GONNA DRIVE YOUR MOVIE STAR DOWN
450
00:20:25,758 --> 00:20:28,558
- TO BAIL YOU OUT?
- I DON'T KNOW, SIR,
BUT PLEASE...
451
00:20:28,594 --> 00:20:30,294
- GET DOWN ON YOUR KNEES!
- WHAT?
452
00:20:30,329 --> 00:20:32,296
DOWN! NOW!
453
00:20:32,331 --> 00:20:34,977
- FLAT ON YOUR STOMACH!
- ARE YOU GONNA SHOOT ME
RIGHT NOW?
454
00:20:35,001 --> 00:20:36,967
NO.
455
00:20:40,439 --> 00:20:42,406
DROP IT IN THE SEWER.
456
00:20:46,345 --> 00:20:48,312
(kisses)
457
00:20:49,748 --> 00:20:52,216
NOW GET IN YOUR CAR
AND GET OUT OF HERE.
458
00:20:52,251 --> 00:20:53,583
I CAN GO?
459
00:20:53,619 --> 00:20:55,663
BETTER MAKE IT QUICK
BEFORE I CHANGE MY MIND.
460
00:20:55,687 --> 00:20:57,665
THANK YOU, OFFICER. THANK YOU.
461
00:20:57,689 --> 00:20:59,990
(exhales)
462
00:21:00,026 --> 00:21:02,893
- WHAT HAPPENED?
- ARE YOU OKAY?
463
00:21:02,929 --> 00:21:05,007
HE MADE ME THROW THE
WEED DOWN THE SEWER.
464
00:21:05,031 --> 00:21:07,009
OH, BET YOUR FRIENDS
ARE GONNA BE PISSED.
465
00:21:07,033 --> 00:21:10,067
(mock laugh) CAN I TAPE YOUR
MOUTH SHUT IF YOU'RE WRONG?
466
00:21:11,103 --> 00:21:13,270
WHAT... WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
467
00:21:15,341 --> 00:21:17,581
(mutters) WHAT?
468
00:21:20,313 --> 00:21:22,633
I DON'T BELIEVE THIS GUY.
469
00:21:23,715 --> 00:21:25,682
WHAT IS HE DOING?
470
00:21:29,221 --> 00:21:30,754
- (gasps)
- HOW?
471
00:21:30,789 --> 00:21:32,722
- PUT IT ON THE LEDGE.
- (exclaiming)
472
00:21:32,758 --> 00:21:35,692
- WOW, EVEN I'M IMPRESSED.
- YAY!
473
00:21:40,232 --> 00:21:43,701
NEVER TELL AN ACTRESS
YOU DON'T LIKE HER WORK, E.
474
00:21:43,736 --> 00:21:46,448
OR AN ACTOR FOR
THAT MATTER. IT HURTS.
475
00:21:46,472 --> 00:21:48,306
I KNOW. I'M AN IDIOT.
476
00:21:48,341 --> 00:21:51,141
DON'T FEEL TOO BAD. YOU WERE
NEVER GONNA GET HER ANYWAY.
477
00:21:51,177 --> 00:21:53,155
OH, THANKS, DRAMA. I
FEEL MUCH BETTER NOW.
478
00:21:53,179 --> 00:21:56,113
(phone ringing)
479
00:21:56,148 --> 00:21:58,115
ANNA.
480
00:21:58,150 --> 00:22:00,384
- HELLO.
- HEY, ERIC, IT'S ANNA.
481
00:22:00,420 --> 00:22:03,721
- HEY.
- LISTEN, I FELT LIKE
WE GOT CUT OFF TODAY.
482
00:22:03,756 --> 00:22:05,801
WOULD YOU LIKE TO HAVE
DINNER WITH ME TONIGHT?
483
00:22:05,825 --> 00:22:08,426
YES, SURE. SOUNDS GREAT.
484
00:22:08,461 --> 00:22:11,495
- I can take a cab or...
- NO, I'LL PICK YOU UP.
485
00:22:11,531 --> 00:22:13,364
- GREAT. HOW'S 8:00?
- PERFECT.
486
00:22:13,399 --> 00:22:15,533
- All right, cool.
- I'LL SEE YOU AT 8:00.
487
00:22:17,403 --> 00:22:19,370
ANNA JUST ASKED ME TO
GO OUT TO DINNER WITH HER.
488
00:22:19,405 --> 00:22:20,938
NICE!
489
00:22:20,973 --> 00:22:23,040
- SHE ASKED YOU?
- YEAH.
490
00:22:23,075 --> 00:22:26,288
MAKE SURE YOU PAY. END
THIS CYCLE OF BITCHDOM.
491
00:22:26,312 --> 00:22:28,156
- (women laughing)
- Turtle: I'M HOME.
492
00:22:28,180 --> 00:22:30,859
- FINALLY.
- Vince: YOU'D BETTER HAVE
SOMETHING GOOD, TURTLE.
493
00:22:30,883 --> 00:22:33,595
LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE FOUND
SOME FRESH MEAT AT THE MARKET.
494
00:22:33,619 --> 00:22:36,019
GUYS, THIS IS LAURIE, MORGAN...
495
00:22:36,055 --> 00:22:38,567
AND YOURS, DRAMA. E, I DIDN'T
KNOW YOU WERE GONNA BE HERE
496
00:22:38,591 --> 00:22:40,135
OR ELSE I WOULD
HAVE FOUND A FOURTH.
497
00:22:40,159 --> 00:22:42,338
- YOU AND DRAMA CAN
FIGHT IT OUT FOR HER.
- THANKS, TURTLE.
498
00:22:42,362 --> 00:22:44,640
HI THERE. JONATHAN CHASE.
499
00:22:44,664 --> 00:22:46,342
- HI.
- IT'S A PLEASURE
TO MEET YOU.
500
00:22:46,366 --> 00:22:48,332
- HELLO.
- HI.
501
00:22:48,368 --> 00:22:50,568
- Turtle: YES!
- YEAH, TRY TAKING THAT
502
00:22:50,603 --> 00:22:53,571
AND I'LL BREAK YOUR
FUCKING FINGERS.
503
00:22:57,777 --> 00:22:59,588
IT'S 8:00. WHAT ARE
YOU DOING IN BED?
504
00:22:59,612 --> 00:23:01,078
LONG DAY. I'M RELAXING.
505
00:23:01,113 --> 00:23:02,747
THE KIDS EAT?
506
00:23:02,782 --> 00:23:05,148
- I MADE LASAGNA.
- YOU DID?
507
00:23:05,184 --> 00:23:07,251
IT WAS STOUFFER'S, BUT
I DID THE MICROWAVING.
508
00:23:09,288 --> 00:23:11,255
LOOK, ABOUT TODAY...
509
00:23:11,290 --> 00:23:13,758
FORGET TODAY, ALL RIGHT? LET'S
NEVER TALK ABOUT TODAY AGAIN.
510
00:23:13,793 --> 00:23:16,059
IT'S OVER AND I'M
NO LONGER MAD...
511
00:23:16,095 --> 00:23:18,596
HUMPH... YOU'RE NO LONGER MAD?
512
00:23:18,631 --> 00:23:20,609
WELL, I AM MAD,
YOU SELFISH PRICK.
513
00:23:20,633 --> 00:23:23,379
- AND I WANT AN APOLOGY, ARI.
- NO NO NO, YOUR LITTLE
LATIN JOYRIDE
514
00:23:23,403 --> 00:23:25,636
MEANS ME NEVER
HAVING TO SAY I'M SORRY.
515
00:23:25,671 --> 00:23:27,649
- WHAT, YOU'RE NOT
GONNA APOLOGIZE?
- NO, I'M NOT.
516
00:23:27,673 --> 00:23:30,285
- WELL, THEN HOW ARE WE
GONNA GET PAST THIS?
- I'M ALREADY PAST IT,
517
00:23:30,309 --> 00:23:31,987
UNLESS YOU'RE GONNA
GO KISS ANOTHER GUY.
518
00:23:32,011 --> 00:23:34,055
- THEN WE'RE
ALL GOOD, ALL RIGHT?
- WELL, I JUST MAY.
519
00:23:34,079 --> 00:23:36,146
THEY ASKED ME TO BE A
SERIES REGULAR ON THE SHOW.
520
00:23:36,181 --> 00:23:37,782
YOU'RE BLUFFING.
521
00:23:37,817 --> 00:23:40,284
AM I?
522
00:23:40,319 --> 00:23:43,020
I'M SORRY, OKAY? I GET JEALOUS.
523
00:23:43,055 --> 00:23:45,790
YOU'RE POSSESSIVE. I DON'T
WANT AN APOLOGY FOR THAT.
524
00:23:45,825 --> 00:23:47,324
WHAT... FOR WHAT THEN?
525
00:23:47,359 --> 00:23:49,326
FOR...
526
00:23:49,361 --> 00:23:51,261
FOR TELLING ME THAT I AM OLD
527
00:23:51,297 --> 00:23:53,163
AND THAT I WOULDN'T
PHOTOGRAPH IN HIGH DEF.
528
00:23:53,198 --> 00:23:55,766
IT'S A LEGITIMATE CONCERN.
529
00:23:55,802 --> 00:23:58,380
LOOK, I JUST DIDN'T WANT
YOU DOING IT, ALL RIGHT?
530
00:23:58,404 --> 00:24:01,116
I LIKE THE WAY THINGS ARE. I
DON'T WANT YOU ON TELEVISION.
531
00:24:01,140 --> 00:24:03,318
I DON'T WANT SOME
19-YEAR-OLD KISSING THE LIPS
532
00:24:03,342 --> 00:24:05,487
THAT I'M SUPPOSED TO
BE KISSING, ALL RIGHT?
533
00:24:05,511 --> 00:24:08,256
LISTEN, IF YOU WANNA GO AND
BE A SOAP WHORE EVERY DAY,
534
00:24:08,280 --> 00:24:11,520
JUST DO IT KNOWING THAT YOU
MAKE YOUR HUSBAND MISERABLE.
535
00:24:12,752 --> 00:24:15,586
YOU THINK I WANT TO DO IT, ARI?
536
00:24:15,621 --> 00:24:17,922
I GAVE UP ACTING
TO HAVE A FAMILY
537
00:24:17,957 --> 00:24:20,558
AND I HAVE NEVER
EVER REGRETTED IT.
538
00:24:20,593 --> 00:24:23,093
I LIKE THE WAY THINGS ARE.
539
00:24:23,128 --> 00:24:25,095
I JUST WANTED TO HAVE
ONE DAY OF STUPID FUN.
540
00:24:25,130 --> 00:24:26,809
WITH JULIO DOWN
AT THE SCHOOLYARD.
541
00:24:26,833 --> 00:24:29,132
WELL, IF I'M SO OLD AND
UGLY, WHY DO YOU EVEN CARE?
542
00:24:29,168 --> 00:24:31,046
WELL, SOME GUYS ARE INTO
THAT. I MEAN, YOU KNOW...
543
00:24:31,070 --> 00:24:33,504
TELL ME THAT I AM SEXY, ARI.
544
00:24:33,539 --> 00:24:35,506
HONEY, YOU ARE...
545
00:24:35,541 --> 00:24:38,008
THE BEAUTIFUL
MOTHER OF MY CHILDREN.
546
00:24:40,713 --> 00:24:42,680
AND I RESPECT YOU.
547
00:24:44,316 --> 00:24:46,283
- (laughs)
- MMM, JULIO.
548
00:24:46,318 --> 00:24:48,686
OH, JULIO.
549
00:24:48,721 --> 00:24:50,688
YOU LITTLE SLUT!
550
00:24:50,723 --> 00:24:52,690
(reggaeton-style music playing)
551
00:24:52,725 --> 00:24:55,425
- HERE YOU GO.
- THANKS.
552
00:24:55,461 --> 00:24:58,128
I SWEAR TO GOD, MY LIFE... I
THOUGHT I WAS GONNA DIE.
553
00:24:58,163 --> 00:25:00,531
OH MY GOD, YOU'RE INSANE.
554
00:25:00,566 --> 00:25:03,000
AND THOROUGHLY ENTERTAINING.
555
00:25:04,871 --> 00:25:07,070
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR
COMING TO DINNER WITH ME.
556
00:25:07,106 --> 00:25:09,072
THERE'S NO
ARGUMENTS... IT'S ON ME.
557
00:25:09,108 --> 00:25:11,319
NO SHOT. I'M PAYING.
558
00:25:11,343 --> 00:25:13,622
OH, NO NO. WE'RE GONNA HAVE TO
FIGHT IT OUT WHEN THE BILL COMES.
559
00:25:13,646 --> 00:25:15,090
- OH, WE WILL.
- OKAY.
560
00:25:15,114 --> 00:25:18,181
- SO HOW WAS YOUR MEETING?
- NOT GOOD.
561
00:25:18,217 --> 00:25:20,183
I TOLD YOU, YOU WERE IN MY HEAD.
562
00:25:20,219 --> 00:25:22,330
OH, I'M SORRY. I SHOULD
HAVE KEPT MY MOUTH SHUT.
563
00:25:22,354 --> 00:25:25,523
NO NO. YOU KNOW
WHAT? YOU WERE RIGHT.
564
00:25:25,558 --> 00:25:27,992
I REREAD THE
SCRIPT AND I HATE IT.
565
00:25:28,027 --> 00:25:29,760
- YOU SERIOUS?
- YEAH.
566
00:25:29,795 --> 00:25:31,762
I KNEW I WAS JUSTIFYING, THOUGH.
567
00:25:31,797 --> 00:25:33,697
I MEAN, IT SHOOTS IN
ITALY FOR THREE MONTHS.
568
00:25:33,733 --> 00:25:37,001
HOW GREAT WOULD THAT BE?
BUT IT'S JUST NOT THAT GOOD.
569
00:25:37,036 --> 00:25:38,446
SO WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO NOW?
570
00:25:38,470 --> 00:25:40,704
I TOLD MY AGENT
TO GET ME OUT OF IT.
571
00:25:40,740 --> 00:25:42,784
OH MY GOD, I FEEL TERRIBLE.
572
00:25:42,808 --> 00:25:44,853
- THIS DIRECTOR'S
GONNA KILL ME.
- NO NO NO NO.
573
00:25:44,877 --> 00:25:48,579
NO, YOU WERE RIGHT. AND
GOOD ADVICE IS HARD TO COME BY.
574
00:25:48,614 --> 00:25:50,526
- WELL...
- I ACTUALLY
WOULDN'T MIND
575
00:25:50,550 --> 00:25:52,416
PICKING YOUR BRAIN
FOR SOME MORE ADVICE.
576
00:25:52,451 --> 00:25:54,952
- SURE.
- (phone ringing)
577
00:25:54,987 --> 00:25:57,154
OH, I'M SORRY. HANG ON A SECOND.
578
00:25:57,189 --> 00:25:59,122
HEY, BABY. ALL RIGHT,
579
00:25:59,158 --> 00:26:01,592
I'M PROBABLY GONNA BE
HOME IN, LIKE, TWO HOURS.
580
00:26:01,627 --> 00:26:05,062
(whispers) IT'S MY BOYFRIEND.
581
00:26:05,097 --> 00:26:08,165
- THAT STEAK WAS AMAZING.
- YEAH, WHAT DO YOU
SEASON IT WITH?
582
00:26:08,200 --> 00:26:10,467
(chuckles) I'LL NEVER TELL.
583
00:26:10,502 --> 00:26:12,770
OH, COME ON. YOU'LL TELL ME.
584
00:26:12,805 --> 00:26:14,905
NO, SERIOUSLY, I WON'T.
585
00:26:14,941 --> 00:26:18,286
IT'S UNBELIEVABLE. THIS SHIT
JUST KEEPS GOING AND GOING.
586
00:26:18,310 --> 00:26:20,722
YEAH, SO STOP RUNNING
YOUR MOUTH AND KEEP IT GOING.
587
00:26:20,746 --> 00:26:22,813
NO, I'M SERIOUS. WE'VE
ONLY HAD, LIKE, AN EIGHTH,
588
00:26:22,848 --> 00:26:24,560
- AND IT'S STILL...
- ACTUALLY, TURTLE,
589
00:26:24,584 --> 00:26:27,029
I MIGHT HAVE COME ACROSS ANOTHER
SECRET STASH WHILE I WAS UNPACKING.
590
00:26:27,053 --> 00:26:29,587
YOU'RE GETTING SNEAKIER
AND SNEAKIER, VIN.
591
00:26:29,622 --> 00:26:32,022
- (chuckles)
- SO WHAT NOW, LADIES?
592
00:26:32,058 --> 00:26:34,024
WHO'S UP FOR A LITTLE...
593
00:26:34,060 --> 00:26:35,859
SKINNY DIP?
594
00:26:35,895 --> 00:26:37,138
- I'M IN.
- ALL RIGHT.
595
00:26:37,162 --> 00:26:39,002
- ANYONE ELSE?
- BE NICE, TURTLE.
596
00:26:39,031 --> 00:26:41,142
- I'M THE ONLY SHOT
YOU GOT TONIGHT.
- PFFT.
597
00:26:41,166 --> 00:26:43,834
- REALLY? I GOT A SHOT?
- NO, NOT REALLY.
598
00:26:43,869 --> 00:26:45,636
- Vince: HEY, WHAT UP?
- YO.
599
00:26:45,671 --> 00:26:47,983
WHAT'S UP IS YOU MISSED THE
CABLE GUY. THAT'S WHAT'S UP.
600
00:26:48,007 --> 00:26:49,974
- OH, SHIT.
- NICE, TURTLE.
601
00:26:50,009 --> 00:26:53,243
- Vince: HOW WAS THE BIG DATE?
- IT WASN'T A DATE. SHE HAS A BOYFRIEND.
602
00:26:53,278 --> 00:26:55,591
A BOYFRIEND? WHY DID SHE
TAKE YOU OUT TO DINNER?
603
00:26:55,615 --> 00:26:58,649
SHE WANTED SOME CAREER ADVICE.
SHE DOESN'T HAVE A MANAGER.
604
00:26:58,684 --> 00:27:00,762
- SHE WANTS YOU
TO BE HER MANAGER?
- YEP.
605
00:27:00,786 --> 00:27:03,553
- WHOA.
- Drama: I TOLD YOU
YOU WOULDN'T FUCK HER.
606
00:27:03,589 --> 00:27:05,734
ALL RIGHT, IN THE
POOL, LADIES. LET'S GO.
607
00:27:05,758 --> 00:27:07,703
COME ON. YEAH, BABY.
608
00:27:07,727 --> 00:27:10,027
ARE YOU GONNA TELL ME
WHAT'S ON THAT STEAK?
609
00:27:10,062 --> 00:27:11,962
WE'LL SEE.
610
00:27:12,999 --> 00:27:14,698
I'LL PRINT OUT THE RECIPE.
611
00:27:14,734 --> 00:27:18,268
SHE WANTS YOU TO
BE HER MANAGER, HUH?
612
00:27:18,303 --> 00:27:19,737
YEAH.
613
00:27:19,772 --> 00:27:21,739
INTERESTING.
614
00:27:21,774 --> 00:27:23,206
OH!
615
00:27:23,242 --> 00:27:25,509
(woman laughing)
616
00:27:25,544 --> 00:27:28,846
Drama: YEAH, BABY!
617
00:27:29,882 --> 00:27:32,115
(music playing)