1
00:00:04,526 --> 00:00:08,182
♪
2
00:00:21,195 --> 00:00:23,675
[alarm ringing]
3
00:00:23,675 --> 00:00:27,027
♪
4
00:00:27,505 --> 00:00:28,680
[laughter]
5
00:00:28,680 --> 00:00:30,726
There's our distraction.
6
00:00:34,121 --> 00:00:35,078
[both smooching]
7
00:00:35,078 --> 00:00:36,297
Finally!
8
00:00:36,297 --> 00:00:37,776
Whoa.
9
00:00:37,776 --> 00:00:40,344
Hey! It's not supposed
to distract us.
10
00:00:41,302 --> 00:00:47,525
♪
11
00:00:51,877 --> 00:00:54,489
Oh, my God, we did it!
We're free!
12
00:00:54,489 --> 00:00:56,317
That tunnel you burrowed
was crazy!
13
00:00:56,317 --> 00:00:58,797
We were up and down
and up and down.
14
00:00:58,797 --> 00:01:01,539
That's 'cause I modeled it on
that game "Chutes and Ladders."
15
00:01:01,539 --> 00:01:03,759
Oh, that game's impossible.
16
00:01:03,759 --> 00:01:05,326
Let's get out of here!
17
00:01:05,326 --> 00:01:11,419
♪
18
00:01:11,419 --> 00:01:14,248
The convicts are armed
and dangerous, but whatever.
19
00:01:14,248 --> 00:01:16,946
Let's get to the only escape
anyone cares about--
20
00:01:16,946 --> 00:01:20,515
An adorable baby giraffe
snuck out of the zoo!
21
00:01:20,515 --> 00:01:22,517
TOGETHER: Aww!
22
00:01:22,517 --> 00:01:25,041
If you see the wittle giwaffe
awound town,
23
00:01:25,041 --> 00:01:27,174
pwease contact the zoo immediatwee.
24
00:01:27,174 --> 00:01:29,045
That poor little baby!
25
00:01:29,045 --> 00:01:31,221
I'll tell you what I won't
be doing if I see it--
26
00:01:31,221 --> 00:01:32,744
contacting the zoo.
27
00:01:32,744 --> 00:01:34,877
I'd show that giraffe
the night of its life
28
00:01:34,877 --> 00:01:37,140
before it's hauled back
to captivity forever.
29
00:01:37,140 --> 00:01:38,185
That...
30
00:01:38,185 --> 00:01:40,143
actually makes sense.
31
00:01:40,143 --> 00:01:41,884
- Yeah, screw the zoo.
- Uh-huh, uh-huh.
32
00:01:41,884 --> 00:01:43,320
Great. We all agree.
33
00:01:43,320 --> 00:01:45,017
Now, you know what else
would be great?
34
00:01:45,017 --> 00:01:46,541
A theme song.
35
00:01:46,541 --> 00:01:48,195
- Oh, right, right, right.
- Mm. Oh, yeah.
36
00:01:48,195 --> 00:01:49,370
Eh, I don't know.
37
00:01:49,370 --> 00:01:51,894
[patriotic music plays]
38
00:01:51,894 --> 00:01:54,592
♪ Good morning, U.S.A. ♪
39
00:01:54,592 --> 00:01:58,422
♪ I got a feelin' that
it's gonna be a wonderful day♪
40
00:01:58,422 --> 00:02:01,730
♪ The sun in the sky
has a smile on his face♪
41
00:02:01,730 --> 00:02:06,038
♪ And he's shinin' a salute
to the American race♪
42
00:02:07,910 --> 00:02:11,174
♪ Oh, boy, it's swell to say ♪
43
00:02:11,174 --> 00:02:13,481
-♪ Good-- ♪
-♪ Good morning, U.S.A. ♪
44
00:02:13,481 --> 00:02:14,830
Aah!
45
00:02:16,092 --> 00:02:19,487
♪ Good morning, U.S.A. ♪
46
00:02:22,838 --> 00:02:24,753
I love Spirit Week!
47
00:02:24,753 --> 00:02:28,017
I'm literally bursting
with school pride.
48
00:02:28,017 --> 00:02:30,411
At least I hope
that's what this is.
49
00:02:30,411 --> 00:02:32,108
[growling]
50
00:02:32,108 --> 00:02:34,066
What better way
to honor our school
51
00:02:34,066 --> 00:02:36,068
than a
"Teachers Hall of Fame."
52
00:02:36,068 --> 00:02:38,767
Show everyone the greats
who made Pearl Bailey
53
00:02:38,767 --> 00:02:40,899
the amazing school
it is today.
54
00:02:40,899 --> 00:02:44,207
On premium
library real estate, no less.
55
00:02:44,207 --> 00:02:46,514
How'd you lock that up,
Stevie baby?
56
00:02:46,514 --> 00:02:47,993
The library has extra space
57
00:02:47,993 --> 00:02:49,995
'cause Principal Lewis
destroyed most of the books
58
00:02:49,995 --> 00:02:52,781
when he and his buddies
were playing flamethrower tag.
59
00:02:52,781 --> 00:02:54,348
Rest in peace, buddies.
60
00:02:55,218 --> 00:02:57,220
We're close.
Let's test it out.
61
00:02:58,047 --> 00:02:59,875
I'm Mr. D'Angelo.
62
00:02:59,875 --> 00:03:03,879
I was the first teacher to say,
"Talk amongst yourselves,"
63
00:03:03,879 --> 00:03:06,751
and leave for the rest
of the day.
64
00:03:06,751 --> 00:03:10,407
If I know our peers,
they're gonna love this.
65
00:03:10,407 --> 00:03:11,452
[rumbling]
66
00:03:12,104 --> 00:03:14,237
Spirit Week, bitches!
67
00:03:14,237 --> 00:03:16,674
[screaming]
68
00:03:16,674 --> 00:03:19,721
[distorted]
Isosceleeeees...
69
00:03:19,721 --> 00:03:22,376
Can you believe I'm just now
discovering the magic
70
00:03:22,376 --> 00:03:25,074
of mixing Mentos
and Diet Coke together?
71
00:03:25,074 --> 00:03:27,424
I'm testing out recipes
for a badass foam show
72
00:03:27,424 --> 00:03:28,686
on the football field.
73
00:03:28,686 --> 00:03:30,558
Our robots are ruined!
74
00:03:30,558 --> 00:03:31,515
Pfft.
75
00:03:31,515 --> 00:03:33,474
You wanna see ruined robots,
76
00:03:33,474 --> 00:03:35,563
let me have 'em for the night.
77
00:03:35,563 --> 00:03:38,218
Spirit Week!
78
00:03:38,218 --> 00:03:40,524
Ugh, this is
gonna take forever to fix.
79
00:03:40,524 --> 00:03:42,178
SNOT:
What's the point, Steve?
80
00:03:42,178 --> 00:03:45,007
As long as that madman Lewis
is in charge,
81
00:03:45,007 --> 00:03:46,835
this school is screwed.
82
00:03:46,835 --> 00:03:48,315
He ruins everything.
83
00:03:48,315 --> 00:03:50,534
Sorry, Steve.
I'm out, too.
84
00:03:50,534 --> 00:03:53,885
All this "Spirit Week" talk
is just too scary for me.
85
00:03:53,885 --> 00:03:56,061
Reminds me of ghosts.
86
00:03:56,061 --> 00:03:57,802
[speaks Japanese]
87
00:04:01,284 --> 00:04:02,503
Damn it!
88
00:04:02,503 --> 00:04:04,679
Hey, where'd your friends go?
89
00:04:07,899 --> 00:04:10,467
Please sit.
I've got a lot to explain.
90
00:04:10,467 --> 00:04:13,035
You're the lawyer for all
the school bus drivers, right?
91
00:04:13,035 --> 00:04:14,558
No, I'm a kid...
92
00:04:14,558 --> 00:04:16,430
here to file
a formal complaint.
93
00:04:16,430 --> 00:04:18,562
Against Principal Lewis.
94
00:04:18,562 --> 00:04:20,869
Ah, yes, yes, a kid.
95
00:04:20,869 --> 00:04:23,045
You realize
how serious this is?
96
00:04:23,045 --> 00:04:25,743
I do,
but I love Pearl Bailey,
97
00:04:25,743 --> 00:04:28,093
and Principal Lewis
is a destructive menace
98
00:04:28,093 --> 00:04:30,531
who doesn't care
about the school.
99
00:04:30,531 --> 00:04:32,489
He ruined
my Spirit Week project,
100
00:04:32,489 --> 00:04:35,100
he hired his cousin Dale
as a school nurse,
101
00:04:35,100 --> 00:04:36,928
and all he does
is smoke cigarettes,
102
00:04:36,928 --> 00:04:39,148
plus, Lewis taught
a group of crows
103
00:04:39,148 --> 00:04:42,020
to attack anyone
with a rolling backpack.
104
00:04:43,457 --> 00:04:45,763
Legally I can't admit fault
of any kind,
105
00:04:45,763 --> 00:04:48,113
as you know,
being a kid lawyer and all.
106
00:04:48,113 --> 00:04:49,724
Well, you have to do
something!
107
00:04:49,724 --> 00:04:51,421
This is
a formal complaint.
108
00:04:51,421 --> 00:04:53,641
Fine.
I'll open an investigation.
109
00:04:53,641 --> 00:04:55,947
Hey, before I get into
this school bus fiasco,
110
00:04:55,947 --> 00:04:57,340
let me ask you something--
111
00:04:57,340 --> 00:04:59,255
What's the fastest
you'd feel comfortable
112
00:04:59,255 --> 00:05:00,996
being thrown
from a school bus?
113
00:05:00,996 --> 00:05:03,825
I'm looking for a number
over 70.
114
00:05:04,695 --> 00:05:07,176
♪
115
00:05:07,176 --> 00:05:09,352
No, reach higher, Jeff!
116
00:05:09,352 --> 00:05:11,572
I need the big juicy ones.
117
00:05:11,572 --> 00:05:14,705
You guys want my apple salsa
to be good, right?
118
00:05:14,705 --> 00:05:16,098
We do.
119
00:05:16,098 --> 00:05:18,492
Just grab the big juicy ones,
Jeff!
120
00:05:18,492 --> 00:05:20,189
No, higher, Jeff!
121
00:05:20,189 --> 00:05:22,278
The big juicy ones!
122
00:05:22,278 --> 00:05:25,281
[distorted shouting]
123
00:05:25,281 --> 00:05:26,587
Ahh!
124
00:05:26,587 --> 00:05:27,849
[distorted shouting]
125
00:05:27,849 --> 00:05:29,981
[distorted talking]
126
00:05:32,897 --> 00:05:34,159
[distorted talking]
127
00:05:34,159 --> 00:05:36,640
[distorted conversation]
128
00:05:36,640 --> 00:05:38,033
[distorted talking]
129
00:05:38,033 --> 00:05:40,122
[distorted shouting]
130
00:05:43,778 --> 00:05:45,823
Was it worth it, Jeff?
131
00:05:45,823 --> 00:05:49,261
Disrespecting me
to pet a giraffe?
132
00:05:49,261 --> 00:05:51,742
♪
133
00:05:51,742 --> 00:05:53,396
I'll bet you guys never had
134
00:05:53,396 --> 00:05:56,399
to sneak in at night
to avoid an insane principal.
135
00:05:56,399 --> 00:05:58,836
Yeah, you legends
were probably too busy
136
00:05:58,836 --> 00:06:00,316
to come in at night anyway.
137
00:06:00,316 --> 00:06:02,492
VIP-ing your way around town,
138
00:06:02,492 --> 00:06:04,407
banging everything
with a heartbeat.
139
00:06:04,407 --> 00:06:05,930
LEAD CONVICT:
Would you just come on?
140
00:06:05,930 --> 00:06:07,802
Gotta hide for a second.
141
00:06:07,802 --> 00:06:10,544
Mwah. Mwah. Mwah. Mwah.
142
00:06:12,546 --> 00:06:14,809
Yeah. Here they are,
143
00:06:14,809 --> 00:06:16,767
the blueprints
to the school.
144
00:06:16,767 --> 00:06:20,205
Not really sure why late-night
copy machine repairmen
145
00:06:20,205 --> 00:06:21,555
would need these,
but--
146
00:06:22,425 --> 00:06:23,644
Perfect.
147
00:06:23,644 --> 00:06:25,428
These'll show us
the structural points
148
00:06:25,428 --> 00:06:27,169
where we need
to plant the dynamite...
149
00:06:27,169 --> 00:06:30,433
to blow this school
to smithereens.
150
00:06:30,433 --> 00:06:32,479
- [gasps]
- [groans]
151
00:06:34,524 --> 00:06:37,614
[weakly] All. Clean.
152
00:06:37,614 --> 00:06:39,268
[coughs]
153
00:06:42,489 --> 00:06:44,491
LEAD CONVICT: All right,
we got the blueprints.
154
00:06:44,491 --> 00:06:46,449
But we still have
a huge problem.
155
00:06:46,449 --> 00:06:49,278
Where are
we gonna unroll them?
156
00:06:49,278 --> 00:06:51,454
How 'bout the table
by them robots, boss?
157
00:06:51,454 --> 00:06:53,151
LEAD CONVICT: Good eye.
158
00:06:57,852 --> 00:07:00,332
You know, one day
humans are gonna only sex
159
00:07:00,332 --> 00:07:01,638
each other through robots.
160
00:07:01,638 --> 00:07:03,118
How do you know that?
161
00:07:03,118 --> 00:07:04,554
Because my aunt
used to say it
162
00:07:04,554 --> 00:07:06,687
whenever we went
to Chuck E. Cheese.
163
00:07:06,687 --> 00:07:09,994
Okay, let's hit here,
here, and here,
164
00:07:09,994 --> 00:07:12,214
and we'll start
with the boiler room.
165
00:07:12,214 --> 00:07:15,304
Come on.
Let's get started.
166
00:07:19,264 --> 00:07:22,790
♪ I'm gonna take my class
to the old classroom♪
167
00:07:22,790 --> 00:07:24,487
-♪ I'm gonna teach ♪
- Oh, my, God, they work!
168
00:07:24,487 --> 00:07:26,576
-♪ Till I can't no more ♪
- Shit.
169
00:07:26,576 --> 00:07:28,883
♪ I'm gonna take my class... ♪
170
00:07:28,883 --> 00:07:30,754
One of the robots
is making a break for it!
171
00:07:30,754 --> 00:07:31,886
That's a kid.
172
00:07:31,886 --> 00:07:33,627
Toad-Button,
you go after him.
173
00:07:33,627 --> 00:07:35,324
We'll start planting
the bombs.
174
00:07:36,978 --> 00:07:38,936
Thank goodness
I wore my brand-new
175
00:07:38,936 --> 00:07:40,547
Skerchers SuperSpeeders.
176
00:07:40,547 --> 00:07:42,244
ANNOUNCER:
That's right, Dadders!
177
00:07:42,244 --> 00:07:45,334
Steve wears the brand-new
Skerchers SuperSpeeders
178
00:07:45,334 --> 00:07:47,075
by Skerchers Sneakers.
179
00:07:47,075 --> 00:07:49,730
Now with real rubber.
180
00:07:51,035 --> 00:07:52,515
Aah!
181
00:07:52,515 --> 00:07:53,908
If you're gonna kill me,
182
00:07:53,908 --> 00:07:56,476
pass along my funeral requests
to my friend Snot.
183
00:07:56,476 --> 00:08:01,437
Tell him-- open casket,
eyes wide, huge smile.
184
00:08:01,437 --> 00:08:03,091
Oh, thank God, it's you.
185
00:08:03,091 --> 00:08:04,658
You're too kind, Steve.
186
00:08:04,658 --> 00:08:07,835
I wish everyone was as happy
to have me around as you.
187
00:08:07,835 --> 00:08:10,490
I guess someone formally
complained about me.
188
00:08:10,490 --> 00:08:12,970
The superintendent wants to meet
with me in the morning.
189
00:08:12,970 --> 00:08:14,755
I'm as good as gone.
190
00:08:14,755 --> 00:08:16,757
Just grabbing my most
important stuff in case
191
00:08:16,757 --> 00:08:19,107
I'm not allowed back
on the premises.
192
00:08:19,107 --> 00:08:21,805
Gosh, that's terrible
about the investigation.
193
00:08:21,805 --> 00:08:23,415
Did I say "investigation"?
194
00:08:23,415 --> 00:08:26,157
Some guys broke in, and they're
gonna blow up the school!
195
00:08:26,157 --> 00:08:27,898
Let 'em!
Screw this place!
196
00:08:27,898 --> 00:08:29,770
Oh, man, I love it here!
197
00:08:29,770 --> 00:08:31,119
This'll be a great talk
for later.
198
00:08:31,119 --> 00:08:33,121
They're looking for me.
We gotta go!
199
00:08:33,121 --> 00:08:34,905
It's not fair!
200
00:08:34,905 --> 00:08:36,646
I just finally fundraised
enough money
201
00:08:36,646 --> 00:08:38,648
to trick out my office.
202
00:08:38,648 --> 00:08:41,521
[mid-tempo music plays]
203
00:08:41,521 --> 00:08:44,349
You lovin'
these hydraulics?
204
00:08:46,308 --> 00:08:48,136
[gunshots]
205
00:08:48,136 --> 00:08:50,921
You didn't mention the guys
with bombs had guns, too!
206
00:08:50,921 --> 00:08:52,488
Bullets are my Kryptonite!
207
00:08:52,488 --> 00:08:53,794
Follow me.
208
00:08:53,794 --> 00:08:55,317
[pounding on door]
209
00:08:55,317 --> 00:08:57,493
♪
210
00:08:59,277 --> 00:09:00,670
You're lucky
you're with me.
211
00:09:00,670 --> 00:09:02,324
No one knows this school
like I do.
212
00:09:02,324 --> 00:09:03,586
I should call the police.
213
00:09:03,586 --> 00:09:05,893
Damn, no service down here.
214
00:09:05,893 --> 00:09:10,637
Oh, God forbid a kid goes
five minutes without his phone.
215
00:09:10,637 --> 00:09:12,682
I'm trying to save
the school!
216
00:09:12,682 --> 00:09:15,511
I can't believe my fate's
in your crazy-ass hands.
217
00:09:15,511 --> 00:09:19,167
They're so crazy,
they just might work.
218
00:09:20,124 --> 00:09:21,909
Hey, they worked!
219
00:09:24,694 --> 00:09:26,000
So?
220
00:09:26,000 --> 00:09:27,523
How pimp is this place!
221
00:09:27,523 --> 00:09:28,916
It's uh, great.
Where's the exit?
222
00:09:28,916 --> 00:09:30,439
Nowhere. We kick back
223
00:09:30,439 --> 00:09:32,354
and wait it out here
until this blows over.
224
00:09:32,354 --> 00:09:33,616
"Wait it out"?
225
00:09:33,616 --> 00:09:34,922
What if they find us?
226
00:09:34,922 --> 00:09:37,620
And what about
the school blowing up?
227
00:09:37,620 --> 00:09:41,232
We're fine. This is my
panic room, and it's bombproof.
228
00:09:41,232 --> 00:09:44,061
Designed it myself.
Even built the fireplace.
229
00:09:44,061 --> 00:09:45,410
Briiick.
230
00:09:45,410 --> 00:09:47,064
Just relax, Smith.
231
00:09:47,064 --> 00:09:49,110
Can I get you a drink?
Are you a brandy kid?
232
00:09:49,110 --> 00:09:51,025
Oh, hey, you mind
taking your shoes off?
233
00:09:51,025 --> 00:09:52,983
You destroyed the library
with foam
234
00:09:52,983 --> 00:09:56,378
and you want me
to take off my shoes?
235
00:09:57,858 --> 00:09:59,511
This is such bullshit.
236
00:09:59,511 --> 00:10:01,688
Look at all the work
you did down here,
237
00:10:01,688 --> 00:10:04,821
but you can't be bothered
to care about the actual school.
238
00:10:04,821 --> 00:10:07,737
Smith, I do my job
better than anybody.
239
00:10:07,737 --> 00:10:09,521
And whoever reported me
to the superintendent
240
00:10:09,521 --> 00:10:11,175
- got it as wrong as you.
- [pounding on door]
241
00:10:11,175 --> 00:10:13,177
Aah!
Toad-Button found us!
242
00:10:13,177 --> 00:10:14,657
Did you say...
243
00:10:14,657 --> 00:10:15,745
Toad-Button?
244
00:10:15,745 --> 00:10:17,355
Yeah, what a stupid name.
245
00:10:17,355 --> 00:10:20,010
Well, could be cute
on the right guy.
246
00:10:20,010 --> 00:10:21,403
Is this
who was chasing you?
247
00:10:21,403 --> 00:10:22,970
That's him!
248
00:10:22,970 --> 00:10:25,712
Damn, he's aged very well.
249
00:10:25,712 --> 00:10:28,062
Everything always works out
for the bad boys.
250
00:10:28,062 --> 00:10:30,020
I should've known
they'd be back.
251
00:10:30,020 --> 00:10:32,501
Of course they're
your former students.
252
00:10:32,501 --> 00:10:35,112
You've been terrorizing kids
for 30 years.
253
00:10:35,112 --> 00:10:38,681
[sighs]
Man, '94 was a hell of a class.
254
00:10:38,681 --> 00:10:40,988
- Those kids could dress.
- [pounding continues]
255
00:10:42,772 --> 00:10:44,818
This place is bombproof, huh?
256
00:10:44,818 --> 00:10:46,167
What do we do?
257
00:10:46,167 --> 00:10:49,213
Oh, people got so hammered
at that prom.
258
00:10:49,213 --> 00:10:50,650
At least I did.
259
00:10:52,826 --> 00:10:54,697
The chimney's
our only way out!
260
00:10:54,697 --> 00:10:56,481
Yes.
Into the Christmas tunnel.
261
00:10:56,481 --> 00:10:59,571
[pounding continues]
262
00:11:01,965 --> 00:11:03,097
The gym?
263
00:11:04,707 --> 00:11:06,796
Dang, I got something
in my eye.
264
00:11:06,796 --> 00:11:08,058
Do you see anything?
265
00:11:10,800 --> 00:11:12,715
Aah!
266
00:11:12,715 --> 00:11:14,891
[device beeping]
267
00:11:16,763 --> 00:11:19,548
Why would you build a chimney
into another room?
268
00:11:19,548 --> 00:11:21,202
[whispering]
I only had this many bricks.
269
00:11:21,202 --> 00:11:23,726
[whispering] This is why all our
gym teachers have lung disease.
270
00:11:23,726 --> 00:11:26,816
Well, no one seemed to mind when
it smoked out all the pigeons.
271
00:11:26,816 --> 00:11:29,645
Yep, those are
Toad-Button's buddies.
272
00:11:29,645 --> 00:11:31,342
Yeah, it's beautiful
they stayed in touch,
273
00:11:31,342 --> 00:11:32,822
but how are we
getting out of here?
274
00:11:32,822 --> 00:11:34,824
Don't worry. There's gotta be
something in my bag
275
00:11:34,824 --> 00:11:35,912
that can help us.
276
00:11:35,912 --> 00:11:38,698
Useful, useful, useful...
277
00:11:38,698 --> 00:11:40,743
but not for this.
278
00:11:40,743 --> 00:11:41,918
A cord?
279
00:11:41,918 --> 00:11:43,572
I don't remember
packing a--
280
00:11:45,139 --> 00:11:46,836
[muffled grunting]
281
00:11:46,836 --> 00:11:49,534
Did you...
hear something?
282
00:11:49,534 --> 00:11:51,841
I've heard that the dry-cleaning
business will eat you alive
283
00:11:51,841 --> 00:11:53,277
if you don't have
the right mentor.
284
00:11:53,277 --> 00:11:56,759
Hmm, I'm not sure
that's what it was.
285
00:11:56,759 --> 00:11:58,239
But maybe.
286
00:12:02,243 --> 00:12:03,461
We can get out there!
287
00:12:05,899 --> 00:12:08,640
Okay, that's the last
of the explosives.
288
00:12:08,640 --> 00:12:10,730
Now we just wait until
that bastard Lewis
289
00:12:10,730 --> 00:12:14,559
shows up in the morning
so he can watch it happen.
290
00:12:16,823 --> 00:12:19,129
Are you flirting with me,
Smith?
291
00:12:19,129 --> 00:12:21,131
No!
I'm flirting with death,
292
00:12:21,131 --> 00:12:23,090
and it sounds like
they're here because of you.
293
00:12:23,090 --> 00:12:25,135
Pft.
That's why I'm here.
294
00:12:25,135 --> 00:12:27,659
♪
295
00:12:27,659 --> 00:12:29,531
Play it cool.
296
00:12:29,531 --> 00:12:33,013
We are six non-giraffes
looking for a place to eat.
297
00:12:33,013 --> 00:12:34,754
Right this way.
298
00:12:38,453 --> 00:12:40,847
[distorted talking]
299
00:12:40,847 --> 00:12:43,066
[distorted talking]
300
00:12:50,247 --> 00:12:53,773
[distorted singing to the tune
of "Happy Birthday"]
301
00:12:56,993 --> 00:12:58,081
[dramatic music plays]
302
00:12:58,081 --> 00:13:01,171
[screeching]
303
00:13:04,131 --> 00:13:05,610
We should go.
304
00:13:05,610 --> 00:13:07,874
My brother-in-law is upset
because he prefers
305
00:13:07,874 --> 00:13:10,224
the Stevie Wonder version
of "Happy Birthday."
306
00:13:10,224 --> 00:13:12,095
We'll obviously be paying
for none of this
307
00:13:12,095 --> 00:13:13,488
and taking it all to go.
308
00:13:13,488 --> 00:13:16,273
And toss a couple
White Russians in here.
309
00:13:17,187 --> 00:13:20,843
Uhh, it feels so good to talk
at full volume again!
310
00:13:20,843 --> 00:13:22,105
[loudly]
♪ La la la ♪
311
00:13:22,105 --> 00:13:23,411
[whispering] Shut up!
312
00:13:23,411 --> 00:13:24,934
We're almost home free.
313
00:13:24,934 --> 00:13:27,197
Just gotta figure out
how to get down.
314
00:13:27,197 --> 00:13:28,895
I got us covered.
315
00:13:33,290 --> 00:13:35,902
Wow, two inflatable Grim Reapers
made the cut.
316
00:13:35,902 --> 00:13:37,251
- Grims.
- What?
317
00:13:37,251 --> 00:13:38,513
Grims Reaper.
318
00:13:38,513 --> 00:13:40,645
It's the same
as "brothers-in-law."
319
00:13:40,645 --> 00:13:42,604
I have two Grims Reaper.
320
00:13:42,604 --> 00:13:43,866
I'm sorry to nitpick.
321
00:13:43,866 --> 00:13:46,869
That's just
one of my biggest pets peeve.
322
00:13:46,869 --> 00:13:48,218
Okay, so what now?
323
00:13:48,218 --> 00:13:49,350
Climb on.
324
00:13:49,350 --> 00:13:51,352
I'll puncture it,
and it'll deflate,
325
00:13:51,352 --> 00:13:53,876
sinking you down to the ground,
where you can run to safety.
326
00:13:53,876 --> 00:13:57,619
That's actually
a great idea.
327
00:13:57,619 --> 00:13:59,055
Wait, just me?
328
00:13:59,055 --> 00:14:00,883
This is where we part ways, Smith.
329
00:14:00,883 --> 00:14:02,624
I'm their principal,
and I think
330
00:14:02,624 --> 00:14:04,582
I can still get through to them
before it's too late.
331
00:14:04,582 --> 00:14:06,802
But you're not
their principal anymore.
332
00:14:06,802 --> 00:14:09,196
Being a principal is like
being a murderer, Smith--
333
00:14:09,196 --> 00:14:11,067
You carry that label forever.
334
00:14:11,067 --> 00:14:13,287
Forget about them.
They hate you.
335
00:14:13,287 --> 00:14:15,419
So?
I saved you, didn't I?
336
00:14:15,419 --> 00:14:18,248
And you're the one who reported
me to the superintendent.
337
00:14:18,248 --> 00:14:20,076
You-- You knew that?
338
00:14:20,076 --> 00:14:21,773
And you've still been
helping me?
339
00:14:21,773 --> 00:14:24,733
Of course I have.
I'm your principal.
340
00:14:24,733 --> 00:14:26,213
And whether you approve
of my style
341
00:14:26,213 --> 00:14:29,303
or not, I take my role
very seriously.
342
00:14:31,479 --> 00:14:35,004
Now I've got students
to get through to.
343
00:14:36,092 --> 00:14:37,528
Aah! Toad-Button!
344
00:14:37,528 --> 00:14:39,226
You startled me.
345
00:14:39,226 --> 00:14:43,230
Nice to see you again,
Principal Lewis.
346
00:14:43,230 --> 00:14:44,796
Heyyyy.
347
00:14:46,755 --> 00:14:48,191
Principal Lewis,
I've decided
348
00:14:48,191 --> 00:14:50,193
that I can't
leave you here alone.
349
00:14:50,193 --> 00:14:52,804
Y'know, I see you're a big fan
of pistol-whipping.
350
00:14:52,804 --> 00:14:54,937
But you know
what knocks me out?
351
00:14:54,937 --> 00:14:56,939
Bebop jazz.
352
00:14:56,939 --> 00:14:58,245
[jazz music plays]
353
00:14:59,594 --> 00:15:01,857
♪
354
00:15:01,857 --> 00:15:03,250
We thought we were
gonna have to wait
355
00:15:03,250 --> 00:15:05,165
until morning for you
to show up,
356
00:15:05,165 --> 00:15:09,517
but I should've known
you'd be here, working late.
357
00:15:09,517 --> 00:15:11,475
I wasn't working.
I swear!
358
00:15:11,475 --> 00:15:12,781
Those days
are behind me!
359
00:15:12,781 --> 00:15:14,130
I-I can vouch for that.
360
00:15:14,130 --> 00:15:15,827
Yeah, right.
361
00:15:15,827 --> 00:15:18,961
Now you're gonna watch us
destroy your precious school,
362
00:15:18,961 --> 00:15:22,312
just like you destroyed
our lives.
363
00:15:22,312 --> 00:15:23,835
Guys, you can't.
364
00:15:23,835 --> 00:15:25,925
You do something this big
and leave two eyewitnesses,
365
00:15:25,925 --> 00:15:27,187
you're gonna get caught.
366
00:15:27,187 --> 00:15:30,930
Then maybe we don't leave
any witnesses.
367
00:15:30,930 --> 00:15:32,235
[sobbing]
368
00:15:32,235 --> 00:15:34,194
Look, I know I ruined
your lives,
369
00:15:34,194 --> 00:15:35,891
but let me help you now.
370
00:15:35,891 --> 00:15:38,981
I got a guy in Mexico who can
set you up with new identities.
371
00:15:38,981 --> 00:15:40,591
Plus he works
at the Hilton pool.
372
00:15:40,591 --> 00:15:42,245
You can swim, get some sun.
373
00:15:42,245 --> 00:15:43,551
Those amazing
rolled-up towels.
374
00:15:43,551 --> 00:15:44,595
Mm, huh? Mm?
375
00:15:44,595 --> 00:15:45,945
Don't listen, boss.
376
00:15:45,945 --> 00:15:48,773
He'll say anything to save
his beloved school.
377
00:15:48,773 --> 00:15:50,688
I'm sorry.
Beloved school?
378
00:15:50,688 --> 00:15:52,125
Working late?
379
00:15:52,125 --> 00:15:54,257
Are we talking about
the same Principal Lewis?
380
00:15:54,257 --> 00:15:56,520
This guy disbanded
the school chorus because
381
00:15:56,520 --> 00:16:00,220
he was afraid the singing
might "attract Sasquatches."
382
00:16:00,220 --> 00:16:02,222
I don't know what he's been up
to recently, kid.
383
00:16:02,222 --> 00:16:03,919
We've been in jail.
384
00:16:03,919 --> 00:16:06,966
But how about we tell you
our experience with Lewis?
385
00:16:06,966 --> 00:16:09,011
Okay, so back
in the early '90s--
386
00:16:09,011 --> 00:16:12,058
Sorry, Toadie. I know I said
"we," but I got this.
387
00:16:12,058 --> 00:16:14,799
So back when we were
in school--
388
00:16:14,799 --> 00:16:16,279
TOAD-BUTTON:
Was it not the early '90s?
389
00:16:16,279 --> 00:16:17,846
I feel like that helps.
390
00:16:17,846 --> 00:16:21,981
LEAD CONVICT: Yes, okay,
back in the early '90s,
391
00:16:21,981 --> 00:16:24,374
we used to struggle
as students,
392
00:16:24,374 --> 00:16:26,115
but Lewis saw our potential
393
00:16:26,115 --> 00:16:28,596
and was determined
to get the most out of us.
394
00:16:28,596 --> 00:16:31,164
Aww, Jerry.
Gimme a hug.
395
00:16:31,164 --> 00:16:33,209
I'm obviously not finished!
396
00:16:33,209 --> 00:16:35,211
LEAD CONVICT:
But no matter how well we did,
397
00:16:35,211 --> 00:16:37,561
nothing was ever good enough
for this guy.
398
00:16:37,561 --> 00:16:41,043
Eventually we couldn't take it
anymore and snapped.
399
00:16:41,043 --> 00:16:43,872
We dropped out,
started getting into trouble,
400
00:16:43,872 --> 00:16:45,439
and wound up in jail.
401
00:16:45,439 --> 00:16:47,006
[camera shutter clicks]
402
00:16:48,964 --> 00:16:50,748
All because of him.
403
00:16:50,748 --> 00:16:51,793
In the early '90s.
404
00:16:51,793 --> 00:16:52,881
[sighs]
405
00:16:52,881 --> 00:16:54,317
That's right, Steve.
406
00:16:54,317 --> 00:16:56,798
I used to try to get the most
out of my students.
407
00:16:56,798 --> 00:16:58,321
I used to be...
408
00:16:58,321 --> 00:16:59,975
a bad principal.
409
00:16:59,975 --> 00:17:01,629
I...don't follow.
410
00:17:01,629 --> 00:17:03,022
You see, the problem was,
411
00:17:03,022 --> 00:17:05,067
I was acting like
a strict parent,
412
00:17:05,067 --> 00:17:07,156
when all these kids
already had parents.
413
00:17:07,156 --> 00:17:08,810
Actually I lost
both my parents.
414
00:17:08,810 --> 00:17:10,290
It was just
too much pressure.
415
00:17:10,290 --> 00:17:11,987
What they needed
was a friend.
416
00:17:11,987 --> 00:17:14,816
It's not princi-parent.
It's princi-pal.
417
00:17:14,816 --> 00:17:17,645
So I became the most fun pal
I could be.
418
00:17:17,645 --> 00:17:19,473
And, yes, over the years
that may have drifted
419
00:17:19,473 --> 00:17:21,127
into [bleep] up uncle territory,
420
00:17:21,127 --> 00:17:23,303
but the results speak
for themselves--
421
00:17:23,303 --> 00:17:25,131
The only time kids
go to jail anymore
422
00:17:25,131 --> 00:17:26,828
is when they're there
visiting me.
423
00:17:26,828 --> 00:17:28,090
Wow.
424
00:17:28,090 --> 00:17:30,440
So all this time I thought
you were nuts...
425
00:17:30,440 --> 00:17:32,094
I was right.
426
00:17:32,094 --> 00:17:33,269
It was a car accident,
427
00:17:33,269 --> 00:17:35,489
in case
anybody's interested.
428
00:17:35,489 --> 00:17:38,883
♪ We were born to be ♪
429
00:17:38,883 --> 00:17:39,971
♪ Alive ♪
430
00:17:39,971 --> 00:17:41,886
♪ We were born to be ♪
431
00:17:41,886 --> 00:17:43,627
♪ Alive ♪
432
00:17:43,627 --> 00:17:46,065
♪ Born ♪
433
00:17:46,065 --> 00:17:47,979
♪ Born to be alive ♪
434
00:17:47,979 --> 00:17:50,199
♪ Born to be alive ♪
435
00:17:50,199 --> 00:17:52,506
♪ You see, we're born ♪
436
00:17:52,506 --> 00:17:54,203
♪ Born ♪
437
00:17:54,203 --> 00:17:56,988
♪ Born ♪
438
00:17:56,988 --> 00:17:59,861
♪ You see, we're born ♪
439
00:17:59,861 --> 00:18:00,992
♪ Born ♪
440
00:18:00,992 --> 00:18:02,820
♪ Born to be alive ♪
441
00:18:02,820 --> 00:18:04,692
♪ Born to be alive ♪
442
00:18:05,562 --> 00:18:06,955
You know what's ironic?
443
00:18:06,955 --> 00:18:09,088
We were doing all this
for the giraffe,
444
00:18:09,088 --> 00:18:12,221
but I think he showed us
the night of our lives.
445
00:18:12,221 --> 00:18:13,266
- Mm-hmm.
- Mm-hmm.
446
00:18:13,266 --> 00:18:15,181
[tires screeching]
447
00:18:18,401 --> 00:18:20,534
Whoa, a giraffe!
448
00:18:20,534 --> 00:18:22,492
Looks like y'all had
a crazy night.
449
00:18:22,492 --> 00:18:25,713
Yeah, but I guess he has
to go back to the zoo now.
450
00:18:25,713 --> 00:18:27,367
Wait.
451
00:18:27,367 --> 00:18:31,110
I might have an idea that'll
keep him out of the zoo forever.
452
00:18:31,110 --> 00:18:32,285
Please!
453
00:18:32,285 --> 00:18:33,938
You gotta believe me!
454
00:18:33,938 --> 00:18:35,984
I'm not a baby giraffe!
455
00:18:35,984 --> 00:18:37,594
I'm a human man!
456
00:18:37,594 --> 00:18:41,642
Yeah, yeah, yeah, you and
every other animal in this zoo.
457
00:18:42,904 --> 00:18:44,862
Don't worry, babe!
We'll be back!
458
00:18:44,862 --> 00:18:46,777
I got an annual pass.
459
00:18:48,301 --> 00:18:50,433
Guys, if you wanna
destroy the school,
460
00:18:50,433 --> 00:18:52,174
just leave this man
in charge.
461
00:18:52,174 --> 00:18:54,872
He will eventually do it,
I guarantee.
462
00:18:54,872 --> 00:18:56,831
And your hands'll be clean.
463
00:18:56,831 --> 00:18:58,311
Enough stalling.
464
00:18:58,311 --> 00:19:01,357
Any last requests before
your school goes sky-high?
465
00:19:03,533 --> 00:19:07,015
How about we raise a final toast
to old Pearl Bailey?
466
00:19:07,015 --> 00:19:08,843
With what beverage?
467
00:19:08,843 --> 00:19:11,498
With the champagne
of colas,
468
00:19:11,498 --> 00:19:12,803
Diet Coke.
469
00:19:21,072 --> 00:19:23,640
He's trying to kill himself
before we blow up the school.
470
00:19:23,640 --> 00:19:24,728
That's enough.
471
00:19:27,514 --> 00:19:28,863
PRINCIPAL LEWIS: Stop!
472
00:19:31,257 --> 00:19:34,129
[belches]
473
00:19:34,129 --> 00:19:35,652
- Ah, gross!
- Ugh!
474
00:19:35,652 --> 00:19:37,306
This is just sad.
475
00:19:37,306 --> 00:19:39,613
Please blow up the school.
We deserve it at this point.
476
00:19:39,613 --> 00:19:41,441
Sorry.
I meant to do this.
477
00:19:43,486 --> 00:19:45,793
Um, is he flirting with me?
478
00:19:47,011 --> 00:19:48,535
[belches]
479
00:19:53,017 --> 00:19:54,367
- Oh!
- Ooh!
480
00:19:58,327 --> 00:20:00,547
There is no way he meant
to do that.
481
00:20:00,547 --> 00:20:03,550
[Principal Lewis laughing]
482
00:20:06,074 --> 00:20:09,208
He may not be perfect,
but he really does care.
483
00:20:09,208 --> 00:20:11,514
I know his old students tried
to blow up the school,
484
00:20:11,514 --> 00:20:13,864
but his current students
just complain.
485
00:20:13,864 --> 00:20:16,040
I think he's moving
in the right direction here.
486
00:20:16,040 --> 00:20:17,303
Thanks, Steve.
487
00:20:17,303 --> 00:20:19,696
I guess it's kind of
like Steinbeck says--
488
00:20:19,696 --> 00:20:23,091
"Now that I'm not asking you
to be perfect, you can be good."
489
00:20:23,091 --> 00:20:25,180
See?
He knows Steinbeck.
490
00:20:25,180 --> 00:20:27,313
Of course I know
Sherm Steinbeck!
491
00:20:27,313 --> 00:20:29,445
You're not gonna find
a better amateur dentist
492
00:20:29,445 --> 00:20:30,881
than that guy.
493
00:20:30,881 --> 00:20:33,449
All right, we'll let Mr. Lewis
off with a warning.
494
00:20:33,449 --> 00:20:35,625
So what happened to
those convicts anyway?
495
00:20:35,625 --> 00:20:37,236
Back to prison, I assume?
496
00:20:37,236 --> 00:20:39,194
Y'know, as their principal,
497
00:20:39,194 --> 00:20:41,065
I just didn't think
more prison time
498
00:20:41,065 --> 00:20:43,067
was the answer
for those kids.
499
00:20:45,548 --> 00:20:47,985
Here are the passports
for your new identities.
500
00:20:47,985 --> 00:20:49,987
Hop in. I already picked up
my other client,
501
00:20:49,987 --> 00:20:51,554
so next stop's Mexico.
502
00:20:52,381 --> 00:20:56,559
♪
503
00:20:56,559 --> 00:20:57,604
Bye! Have a beautiful time!