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♪ Good morning, USA! ♪
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♪ I got a feeling that it's
gonna be a wonderful day ♪
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♪ The sun in the sky has
a smile on his face ♪
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♪ And he's shining a salute
to the American race ♪
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♪ Oh, boy, it's swell to say ♪
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♪ Good... ♪ ♪ Good morning, USA ♪
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Aah!
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American Dad 5x17
An Incident at Owl Creek
Original Air Date on May 9, 2010
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-- Sync, corrected by elderman --
-- for addic7ed.com --
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Hey, Shari and Buckle are
moving into the neighborhood,
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and they've invited
us to a pool party.
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Wait, next weekend.
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Does that give us enough time?
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Oh, no, Stan! Does this mean
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we have to do another
one of your...
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"Are we good enough to be seen in
public" Smith family fashion shows?
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Yes, it does.
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First up,
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Hayley Smith in what appears to be
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the "White Trash Going Crazy
at Lake Havasu" collection.
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Stop! Stop!
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You are not wearing that to
Buckle and Shari's pool party.
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You look like you should
be holding up round cards
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at a dog fight in Fresno!
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Steve, you've known about
this party for a week,
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and you haven't bulked up!
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You didn't make a dent in that
Russian protein powder I gave you.
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Uh, I don't think
it's for people, Dad.
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Get out of my sight.
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You made me feel like
a fool for building
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a professional-grade
runway in my living room.
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You, my darling, look perfect.
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Thank you.
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But you run your mouth
at these things.
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I'm giving you a
hundred-word limit.
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Here, I got you this counter.
Are you serious?
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You've got 97 left.
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Stan, why is it every time
we go out in public together,
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you make us pass your
silly inspection.
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Yeah, Dad. Why do you care so
much what other people think?
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Because that's all that matters!
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One's true value is determined
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solely through the eyes of others.
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That's from Genesis.
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Their first album, I think.
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Welcome neighborhood, Shari.
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Glad not in woods anymore?
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One year in that fershtunkinah
cabin was enough.
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I was going meshugie.
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Buckle! Get rid of that owl!
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My migraine!
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But that owl was my
best friend for 15 years
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in the wilderness.
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It's him or me. Who you gonna pick?
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Who? Who?
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Stay out of it!
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Party's going well.
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No Smith family blunders.
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That's good.
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Mmm, great brisket.
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Careful, now.
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96% of all party fouls involve
food or drink.
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Don't spill it, don't choke on it.
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How are you?!
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You're doing great, kiddo.
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I love you so much.
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Dad, I'm sweating like
a pig in this thing.
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It's humiliating. Not to me.
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And show some respect--
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your grandmother drowned
in that bathing suit.
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How family? No embarrassed?
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So far, so good.
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Hello, y'all!
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I'm Stan Smith's brother,
Appleby McFridays.
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Do I smell kreplach?
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Oh, no-- Roger!
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I helped Buckle with his
conversion to Judaism.
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That was one stubborn foreskin.
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Hey, Rabbi, I got a joke for you.
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Two priests are hitting
on an altar boy...
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Uh, hello, guy who mistakenly
believes he's my brother.
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If-if you want to
hear a joke, Rabbi,
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I got a nice, clean one.
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Um, uh, okay, what are the
three rings of marriage?
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The first one's the
engagement ring,
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the second one's the wedding ring,
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and the third one...
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the suffer-ring.
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Stan, that's not a good joke,
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'cause it's not racist.
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Okay, here's one.
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So, this lazy Mexican
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walks into an even
lazier black guy's bar...
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Hey, uh, everyone, who wants to
see me cannonball into the pool?
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A mag turninhis body into
an old instrument of war?
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I'm in!
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I am constantly
doing damage control
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for this family.
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ALL Cannonball! Cannonball!
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Cannonball!
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Oh, dear, that brisket
was too greasy.
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00:04:02,685 --> 00:04:04,786
Now I got to poop.
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00:04:04,854 --> 00:04:06,588
Cannonball! Cannonball!
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Cannonball! Cannonball!
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Cannonball!
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Cannonball! Cannonball!
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No...!
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♪ ♪
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No way!
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Oh, my God!
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♪ ♪
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Great cannonball, bro.
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He did that in the
neighbor's pool?
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That's disgusting!
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People have to swim in that water.
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I'm probably gonna get
some kind of gross rash.
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I was in the pool when he did it.
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I was at ground zero.
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Hayley, it's not okay
to use that term.
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I was actually at ground zero.
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I was the first one on the
scene selling erotic T-shirts:
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"Osama bin Sexy,"
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"Sexy bin Laden,"
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and "Yo Mama Bin Fartin."
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That last one was not
erotic to everybody.
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Your poor father.
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He didn't even come
home last night.
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Stan!
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Have you been in there all night?
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Yes! And I'm never coming out!
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And you were worried about me
embarrassing you?
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Stop it, Steve.
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Stan, none of us think any
less of you for what you did.
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I don't care what any of
you guys think.
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What does that matter?
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My reputation's ruined!
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Soiled, like these
cheap swim trunks
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and the several places
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I sat down when I first came home.
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Sweetheart, nobody knows.
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Just a few neighbors at the party.
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You're blowing this whole
thing out of proportion.
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Okay, okay.
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M-Maybe you're right.
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Oh, no, oh, no, no, Frank,
no, you can stay in there.
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Hi, Frank.
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♪ ♪
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♪ ♪
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♪ ♪
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♪ ♪
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♪ ♪
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Stan, what happened?
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It was so embarrassing!
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The whole town's laughing at me!
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And on all days!
156
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Bullock just appointed me
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the head of the new Tactical
Urban Response Division!
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Francine. Francine, wake up.
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I'm too tired.
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Do whatever you want,
just don't get it in my hair.
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Wake the kids and
get them in the car.
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You have 90 seconds.
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Stan, it's 3:00 in the morning.
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Where are we going?
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I can no longer live in this town.
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The Smiths are dead.
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There's no turning back.
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Oh, my God!
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It's Frank!
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I see him, I see him.
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Rest in peace, Frank.
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You're living under God's sink now.
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Stan we've been driving all night.
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Do you even have a plan?
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Yes. To get as far away
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from my shame as possible.
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Can't we just go home.
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Yeah. If we can go back in time.
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Can you do that, Hayley?
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Have you smoked that much weed?
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Well if you see me back there
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00:08:38,399 --> 00:08:39,819
tell me don't jump in the pool.
183
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Don't jump in the pool!
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Roger, what happened?
185
00:08:43,089 --> 00:08:44,809
Well, I guess sometimes a hole in
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00:08:44,819 --> 00:08:45,819
men's room Stall
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is a just a hole in
a men's room stall.
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The world needs to know
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America is ready to step up
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00:08:51,819 --> 00:08:53,339
and lead again.
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So inspiring.
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00:08:55,279 --> 00:08:56,399
Hey, you guys are truckers.
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Wanna hear a horribly racist joke?
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Hey! Where I come from
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we don't judge a man
196
00:09:00,999 --> 00:09:02,299
by the color of his skin,
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00:09:02,309 --> 00:09:03,629
or his religion,
198
00:09:03,639 --> 00:09:05,859
or even the mistakes of his past.
199
00:09:06,469 --> 00:09:07,589
Excuse me friend.
200
00:09:07,599 --> 00:09:09,219
Where are you from exactly?
201
00:09:09,229 --> 00:09:11,449
A small town in Indiana
called Mercyville.
202
00:09:11,459 --> 00:09:13,079
It's not fancy mind you.
203
00:09:13,089 --> 00:09:14,009
You know we don't have
204
00:09:14,019 --> 00:09:15,139
any swimming pools.
205
00:09:15,149 --> 00:09:16,669
And uh, no one ever recounts
206
00:09:16,679 --> 00:09:18,699
any swimming pool related stories.
207
00:09:18,709 --> 00:09:20,529
But what we lack in places
208
00:09:20,539 --> 00:09:23,339
to swim, we make up
for in understanding.
209
00:09:23,349 --> 00:09:25,069
That sounds like a perfect place
210
00:09:25,079 --> 00:09:26,199
for us to live.
211
00:09:26,209 --> 00:09:27,609
Well not much of a gay
212
00:09:27,619 --> 00:09:29,019
scene out back either.
213
00:09:32,447 --> 00:09:33,967
What a quaint town.
214
00:09:33,977 --> 00:09:36,297
A malt shop,
an old-fashioned barber,
215
00:09:36,307 --> 00:09:37,127
a bakery.
216
00:09:37,137 --> 00:09:37,957
Yeah, yeah we get it.
217
00:09:37,967 --> 00:09:39,087
A little slice of heaven.
218
00:09:39,097 --> 00:09:40,217
Let's just hope it has what every
219
00:09:40,060 --> 00:09:42,095
other small town in America has:
220
00:09:42,163 --> 00:09:44,097
cheap and plentiful
methamphetamines.
221
00:09:44,165 --> 00:09:46,099
Hardware store has a
"Help Wanted" sign.
222
00:09:46,167 --> 00:09:47,801
I think I will inquire within.
223
00:09:47,868 --> 00:09:50,069
You know, gang,
this could really be a chance
224
00:09:50,137 --> 00:09:51,571
for us to reinvent ourselves.
225
00:09:51,639 --> 00:09:55,375
Oh, yes, I'm sure life will
be very different for me here.
226
00:09:57,311 --> 00:09:59,779
Close enough shave for you so far?
227
00:09:59,847 --> 00:10:02,949
So far. And thanks for talking
me out of that neck beard.
228
00:10:03,017 --> 00:10:05,251
I got to say,
I love your little town.
229
00:10:05,319 --> 00:10:08,054
I think my family's gonna be
happy here for generations.
230
00:10:08,122 --> 00:10:09,556
Do I know you?
231
00:10:09,623 --> 00:10:11,024
No, I don't think so.
232
00:10:11,091 --> 00:10:12,926
Wait. Are you from Langley Falls?
233
00:10:13,694 --> 00:10:14,894
Never heard of the place.
234
00:10:14,962 --> 00:10:16,196
Are you sure?
235
00:10:16,263 --> 00:10:18,231
Because my brother
lives in Langley Falls.
236
00:10:18,299 --> 00:10:20,834
He sent me a newspaper
clipping, and...
237
00:10:20,901 --> 00:10:23,536
I swear, it had a photo of you.
238
00:10:23,604 --> 00:10:25,138
You did something.
239
00:10:25,206 --> 00:10:27,874
Hey, uh, you guys want to
hear a good racist joke?
240
00:10:27,942 --> 00:10:30,810
I can't remember what it was.
241
00:10:30,878 --> 00:10:32,879
Eh, I threw away the clipping.
242
00:10:32,947 --> 00:10:34,347
But it'll come to me.
243
00:10:34,415 --> 00:10:36,683
It always does.
244
00:10:41,488 --> 00:10:43,489
For the life of me, Chairman Meow,
245
00:10:43,557 --> 00:10:46,860
I can't remember what
it was that guy did.
246
00:10:50,764 --> 00:10:52,765
What was it?
247
00:10:52,833 --> 00:10:55,702
It was something embarrassing...
248
00:11:02,810 --> 00:11:04,310
That's it!
249
00:11:04,378 --> 00:11:06,079
He did a cannonball into the pool,
250
00:11:06,146 --> 00:11:07,614
and then he took a giant...
251
00:11:08,883 --> 00:11:11,117
You had to remember.
252
00:11:11,185 --> 00:11:13,086
Come on.
253
00:11:13,153 --> 00:11:16,356
You're really gonna kill me
just 'cause I know your secret?
254
00:11:16,423 --> 00:11:19,525
So, this place isn't
going to work out.
255
00:11:27,868 --> 00:11:29,302
This is perfect.
256
00:11:29,370 --> 00:11:31,771
We're living above a fish
market in Little Romania.
257
00:11:31,839 --> 00:11:34,607
Nobody here has any
connection to Langley Falls.
258
00:11:34,675 --> 00:11:36,409
Wish we weren't
sharing the apartment
259
00:11:36,477 --> 00:11:38,978
with 14 members of
the Bombescu family.
260
00:11:40,314 --> 00:11:41,748
13.
261
00:11:41,815 --> 00:11:43,416
Back to 14.
262
00:11:43,484 --> 00:11:45,752
Circle of life, beautiful thing.
263
00:11:45,819 --> 00:11:47,520
See? We're safe here.
264
00:11:47,588 --> 00:11:49,555
We've outrun my shame for good.
265
00:11:49,623 --> 00:11:52,525
He wants me to play with him.
266
00:11:57,298 --> 00:12:00,066
Somebody was videotaping?
267
00:12:01,635 --> 00:12:02,735
Oh, my God!
268
00:12:02,803 --> 00:12:05,004
Stan Smith just made a BM!
269
00:12:06,807 --> 00:12:08,207
You can't hit me.
270
00:12:08,275 --> 00:12:09,876
I'm a new mother.
271
00:12:12,713 --> 00:12:16,015
We have to move somewhere
they don't have the Internet.
272
00:12:28,729 --> 00:12:30,496
♪ ♪
273
00:12:42,710 --> 00:12:44,844
Wait. Where's your ticket?
274
00:12:44,912 --> 00:12:46,913
I've realized I can't
outrun this thing.
275
00:12:46,981 --> 00:12:50,249
I'm sending you back without me
so you can lead normal lives.
276
00:12:50,317 --> 00:12:52,485
What? We don't want to
go back without you.
277
00:12:52,553 --> 00:12:55,154
Trust me. This will be
better for all of us.
278
00:12:55,222 --> 00:12:57,323
Guess that makes me
the man of the house.
279
00:12:57,391 --> 00:12:58,691
There's gonna be some changes.
280
00:12:58,759 --> 00:13:00,093
Steve, kiss me on the mouth.
281
00:13:00,160 --> 00:13:01,627
But what will you do?
282
00:13:01,695 --> 00:13:03,229
Oh, don't worry. I'll be fine.
283
00:13:03,297 --> 00:13:05,465
I'm gonna have a drink
at the airport bar.
284
00:13:05,532 --> 00:13:07,333
Then I'm going to
blow my brains out.
285
00:13:07,401 --> 00:13:08,634
Don't tell the kids.
286
00:13:08,702 --> 00:13:10,336
Stan, the kids know you drink.
287
00:13:10,404 --> 00:13:14,040
Yeah, I'm, uh...
I'm not gonna miss that.
288
00:13:15,542 --> 00:13:16,909
NEWSCASTER President Obama visited
289
00:13:16,977 --> 00:13:18,411
the U.N. today where he received
290
00:13:18,479 --> 00:13:20,246
a five-hour standing ovation.
291
00:13:20,314 --> 00:13:22,749
That Obama sure has changed things.
292
00:13:22,816 --> 00:13:24,117
What do you mean?
293
00:13:24,184 --> 00:13:26,386
Well, the United States
was the laughingstock
294
00:13:26,453 --> 00:13:28,488
of the world until
Obama came along.
295
00:13:28,555 --> 00:13:30,423
Yeah, sure, whatever.
296
00:13:33,894 --> 00:13:35,895
I mean, the United States
297
00:13:35,963 --> 00:13:38,064
has done some pretty
shameful things.
298
00:13:38,132 --> 00:13:41,601
Just this 20-gauge and, uh,
one of these Toblerones.
299
00:13:42,903 --> 00:13:44,871
But then Obama comes along,
300
00:13:44,938 --> 00:13:47,373
and he makes it all better.
301
00:13:47,441 --> 00:13:49,308
Uh, you may want to stand back.
302
00:13:49,376 --> 00:13:50,777
Brain matter?
303
00:13:50,844 --> 00:13:53,413
I mean, if Obama can
make America look good
304
00:13:53,480 --> 00:13:55,815
after all the embarrassing
crap it's pulled,
305
00:13:55,883 --> 00:13:57,950
then he can make
anything look good.
306
00:13:58,018 --> 00:14:00,086
My God.
307
00:14:00,154 --> 00:14:01,320
That's it!
308
00:14:02,489 --> 00:14:04,424
Anyway, as you know,
309
00:14:04,491 --> 00:14:07,727
Lima has a booming industry
of blind male prostitutes,
310
00:14:07,795 --> 00:14:09,796
of which I am widely known
311
00:14:09,863 --> 00:14:13,032
as the second-most disease-free.
312
00:14:13,100 --> 00:14:15,401
Señor?
313
00:14:25,179 --> 00:14:26,312
We can be together again.
314
00:14:26,380 --> 00:14:27,547
I've got a plan.
315
00:14:27,614 --> 00:14:29,348
Does that plan include
316
00:14:29,416 --> 00:14:31,150
explaining why a footless blind man
317
00:14:31,218 --> 00:14:34,087
is giving an expert bajowski
to our baggage handler?
318
00:14:34,154 --> 00:14:35,988
Admire the skills!
319
00:14:36,056 --> 00:14:38,357
No, listen, I'm a
laughingstock, right?
320
00:14:38,425 --> 00:14:40,359
Well, there's one
man who's so beloved
321
00:14:40,427 --> 00:14:43,429
that if he did what I did,
he'd actually make it cool.
322
00:14:43,497 --> 00:14:44,964
What are you talking about?
323
00:14:45,032 --> 00:14:47,266
It's simple. We've just
got to get President Obama
324
00:14:47,334 --> 00:14:49,135
to make a boom-boom in a pool!
325
00:14:49,203 --> 00:14:50,470
I don't know.
326
00:14:50,537 --> 00:14:52,338
Obama may be black, but I bet
327
00:14:52,406 --> 00:14:54,440
he keeps his butt
clenched like he's white.
328
00:14:54,508 --> 00:14:56,275
Huh. That's, that's from
my stand-up routine.
329
00:14:56,343 --> 00:14:57,743
Check it out.
330
00:14:57,811 --> 00:15:00,246
You ever notice when a black
man poops in the pool,
331
00:15:00,314 --> 00:15:01,747
he's, like, "Yo, check it!"
332
00:15:01,815 --> 00:15:04,484
But then, when a white guy
poops in a pool, he's, all,
333
00:15:04,551 --> 00:15:06,486
"Oh, my, I'm defecating in
the swimming receptacle."
334
00:15:10,828 --> 00:15:12,729
Stan, we'll never even
get close to Obama.
335
00:15:12,797 --> 00:15:14,431
This plan is crazy.
336
00:15:14,498 --> 00:15:17,267
Look, if we can just get
Obama to do what I did,
337
00:15:17,334 --> 00:15:18,902
then no one can tease me anymore.
338
00:15:18,969 --> 00:15:21,037
Then we can move
back home together.
339
00:15:21,105 --> 00:15:23,339
White Mission Control be, all,
340
00:15:23,407 --> 00:15:25,508
"Uh, we are clear to
initiate landing sequence
341
00:15:25,576 --> 00:15:27,544
for Space Shuttle Atlantis."
342
00:15:27,611 --> 00:15:29,179
But Black Mission Control be, all,
343
00:15:29,246 --> 00:15:30,513
"Get out of the way!
344
00:15:30,581 --> 00:15:32,048
Here comes the shuuutttle!"
345
00:15:35,352 --> 00:15:37,887
This roach coach will serve
as our base of operations
346
00:15:37,955 --> 00:15:40,757
as we carry out
Operation Pinch a Loaf.
347
00:15:40,825 --> 00:15:43,493
I need two breakfast burritos
and a side of refried beans.
348
00:15:43,561 --> 00:15:45,829
Two BBs and a side of
fart paste coming up.
349
00:15:45,896 --> 00:15:47,297
The plan is simple.
350
00:15:47,364 --> 00:15:49,432
We'll renovate a
rundown community pool.
351
00:15:49,500 --> 00:15:51,568
Then we'll have a grand
opening ceremony,
352
00:15:51,635 --> 00:15:53,436
convince Obama to swim
the inaugural lap,
353
00:15:53,504 --> 00:15:55,738
and then get him to drop
a presidential deuce.
354
00:15:55,806 --> 00:15:57,807
How are we going to get to Obama?
355
00:15:57,875 --> 00:16:00,310
First step-- one of us
is going to make friends
356
00:16:00,377 --> 00:16:02,011
with his two adorable daughters.
357
00:16:02,079 --> 00:16:03,313
But they go to one
358
00:16:03,380 --> 00:16:05,515
of the most exclusive
private schools in D.C.
359
00:16:05,583 --> 00:16:08,151
How are we even going to get close?
360
00:16:08,219 --> 00:16:10,153
We're a lesbian couple.
361
00:16:10,221 --> 00:16:12,288
We adopted our daughter from
an orphanage in Somalia.
362
00:16:12,356 --> 00:16:14,057
My name is Winfrey.
363
00:16:14,124 --> 00:16:15,658
Full scholarship.
364
00:16:18,762 --> 00:16:20,430
Hi. The name's Winfrey.
365
00:16:20,498 --> 00:16:22,365
I like Jo' Bros, Mi Psy, Gaga,
366
00:16:22,433 --> 00:16:25,068
Kay Pay, FiFi, Schwi Schwi
and the Flack Eye Fleas.
367
00:16:25,135 --> 00:16:26,436
Yeah, we fray frays now.
368
00:16:26,504 --> 00:16:27,804
We best fray frays.
369
00:16:27,872 --> 00:16:29,405
Let's have a play date-
your house.
370
00:16:32,109 --> 00:16:33,610
Madam First Lady,
371
00:16:33,677 --> 00:16:37,547
we are so honored to be here
as lesbians of no color.
372
00:16:37,615 --> 00:16:39,816
Well, your daughter
is just darling.
373
00:16:39,884 --> 00:16:41,618
Barack and I are so pleased
374
00:16:41,685 --> 00:16:43,319
the girls and Winfrey
have hit it off.
375
00:16:43,387 --> 00:16:44,721
Okay, according to the map,
376
00:16:44,788 --> 00:16:47,924
this is where Amy Carter
buried all of her .
377
00:16:47,992 --> 00:16:50,527
So it would really mean
a lot to the community
378
00:16:50,594 --> 00:16:53,062
if the president would come
and take the inaugural lap.
379
00:16:53,130 --> 00:16:54,998
I will make sure he's there.
380
00:16:58,369 --> 00:16:59,903
No fair.
381
00:16:59,970 --> 00:17:02,605
Everybody has a role in
this plan except for me.
382
00:17:02,673 --> 00:17:04,307
I could live to be a hundred
383
00:17:04,375 --> 00:17:06,776
and never figure out
how to fold a burrito.
384
00:17:06,844 --> 00:17:08,311
Okay, let me ask you this.
385
00:17:08,379 --> 00:17:10,213
You can lead a president to water,
386
00:17:10,281 --> 00:17:12,515
but how will you
make him Smith in it?
387
00:17:14,084 --> 00:17:16,719
Klaus, I'd like you to meet Dr.
Olestra Montezuma,
388
00:17:16,787 --> 00:17:19,756
Mexico's leading authority
on Quantum Fecal Theory.
389
00:17:19,823 --> 00:17:22,959
Dr. Montezuma is developing
a fast-acting laxative
390
00:17:23,027 --> 00:17:24,394
for our operation.
391
00:17:24,461 --> 00:17:26,429
He was the mastermind
behind Tijuana.
392
00:17:26,497 --> 00:17:29,432
I've never been,
but I've heard terrible things.
393
00:17:29,500 --> 00:17:30,934
Congratulations, Doctor.
394
00:17:31,001 --> 00:17:32,569
Let's get started.
395
00:17:32,636 --> 00:17:34,537
First, I will show
you some samples.
396
00:17:34,605 --> 00:17:36,439
Manuel, bring in the jars.
397
00:17:36,507 --> 00:17:38,508
I need more time, jefe.
398
00:17:38,576 --> 00:17:41,177
Well, bring whatever you have.
399
00:17:41,245 --> 00:17:43,146
It will just be a minute.
400
00:17:46,317 --> 00:17:47,650
Is everybody in position?
401
00:17:47,718 --> 00:17:48,651
Check. Yeah.
402
00:17:48,719 --> 00:17:49,652
Ready, Dad.
403
00:17:49,720 --> 00:17:51,821
Inserting laxative
404
00:17:51,889 --> 00:17:53,990
into hot dog A.
405
00:17:54,058 --> 00:17:56,759
Inserting hot dog B into my A.
406
00:17:58,729 --> 00:17:59,596
Here comes the limo!
407
00:18:02,399 --> 00:18:04,267
Roger, go, go!
408
00:18:05,769 --> 00:18:07,136
Hello, Mr. President.
409
00:18:07,204 --> 00:18:09,238
I made a hot dog just for you.
410
00:18:09,306 --> 00:18:11,140
Oh, aren't you cute.
411
00:18:11,208 --> 00:18:12,909
But I don't eat before I swim.
412
00:18:12,977 --> 00:18:14,877
Francine, initiate backup plan!
413
00:18:14,945 --> 00:18:17,580
Repeat, put on the laxative
glove and shake Obama's hand.
414
00:18:17,648 --> 00:18:19,382
He'll absorb it through his skin.
415
00:18:21,418 --> 00:18:24,220
Mr. President, we are so
thrilled that you're here.
416
00:18:33,097 --> 00:18:34,364
No!
417
00:18:35,666 --> 00:18:37,533
All right, let's swim.
418
00:18:42,206 --> 00:18:43,439
That's it.
419
00:18:43,507 --> 00:18:44,941
The operation's a failure.
420
00:18:45,009 --> 00:18:46,175
Good-bye, family.
421
00:18:46,243 --> 00:18:48,478
You will never see or
hear from me again.
422
00:18:54,385 --> 00:18:55,551
We've got to do something.
423
00:18:55,619 --> 00:18:56,819
I'm on it.
424
00:19:15,072 --> 00:19:18,007
Fish!
425
00:19:26,216 --> 00:19:27,517
Klaus! Klaus! Klaus!
426
00:19:28,786 --> 00:19:30,386
No! My plan!
427
00:19:31,522 --> 00:19:33,189
Now hang on.
428
00:19:33,257 --> 00:19:35,091
This man looks familiar to me.
429
00:19:36,260 --> 00:19:37,994
Ha! It is!
430
00:19:38,062 --> 00:19:40,797
Now, this man's poopy exploits
have brought me many hours
431
00:19:40,864 --> 00:19:42,465
of online joy.
432
00:19:42,533 --> 00:19:45,501
Now, what exactly were you
trying to accomplish here,
433
00:19:45,569 --> 00:19:47,170
Mr. Funny Poopy Man?
434
00:19:47,237 --> 00:19:48,471
Mr. President, I'm sorry.
435
00:19:48,539 --> 00:19:50,807
I just thought if you
fudged in the pool,
436
00:19:50,874 --> 00:19:53,042
maybe people would
stop laughing at me.
437
00:19:53,110 --> 00:19:55,945
Oh, man, you can't worry about
what other people think of you.
438
00:19:56,013 --> 00:19:58,614
Do you know how mad the
black community gets at me
439
00:19:58,682 --> 00:20:00,283
because I don't smoke menthols?
440
00:20:00,350 --> 00:20:03,086
But it doesn't affect me,
because I don't let it.
441
00:20:03,153 --> 00:20:05,121
But sir, I'm a laughingstock.
442
00:20:05,189 --> 00:20:07,256
Look, Poopy Man,
443
00:20:07,324 --> 00:20:10,326
if you refuse to care
what people think,
444
00:20:10,394 --> 00:20:12,095
then their laughter
cannot hurt you.
445
00:20:12,162 --> 00:20:14,964
Just ignore them.
446
00:20:16,200 --> 00:20:17,366
Oh, terrific.
447
00:20:17,434 --> 00:20:19,268
It looks like Michelle
is gonna delight us
448
00:20:19,336 --> 00:20:20,603
with one of her famous cannonballs.
449
00:20:23,807 --> 00:20:25,708
Cannon... ball!
450
00:20:25,776 --> 00:20:27,110
Cannon... ball!
451
00:20:27,177 --> 00:20:30,580
Cannonball! Cannonball!
452
00:20:30,647 --> 00:20:32,215
Cannonball!
453
00:20:32,282 --> 00:20:34,417
Cannonball! Cannonball!
454
00:20:34,485 --> 00:20:36,219
Cannonball...!
455
00:20:36,286 --> 00:20:38,020
I haven't jumped yet.
456
00:20:38,088 --> 00:20:39,522
I imagined the whole thing.
457
00:20:39,590 --> 00:20:41,124
Cannonball...!
458
00:20:42,726 --> 00:20:45,261
Their laughter can't hurt
me if I don't let it.
459
00:20:45,329 --> 00:20:48,531
Extended Fantasy-Sequence
Obama made me realize that.
460
00:20:48,599 --> 00:20:50,299
Cannonball!
461
00:20:50,367 --> 00:20:52,201
Cannonball!
462
00:21:07,484 --> 00:21:10,586
-- Sync, corrected by elderman --
-- for addic7ed.com --