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♪ Good morning, USA! ♪
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♪ I got a feeling that it's
gonna be a wonderful day ♪
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♪ The sun in the sky
has a smile on his face ♪
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♪ And he's shining a salute
to the American race ♪
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♪ Oh, boy, it's swell to say ♪
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♪ Good... ♪
♪ Good morning, USA ♪
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Aah!
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♪ American Dad 6x04 ♪
Stan's Food Restaurant
Original Air Date on November 14, 2010
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00:00:30,634 --> 00:00:33,134
== Sync, corrected by elderman ==
== for www.addic7ed.com ==
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00:00:33,225 --> 00:00:34,787
This place seems
great, huh, Stan?
11
00:00:35,094 --> 00:00:36,544
I couldn't disagree
with you more.
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Don't like the chairs,
hate the cutlery.
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Food looks boring.
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00:00:39,865 --> 00:00:41,265
The waiter's ugly.
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00:00:41,333 --> 00:00:44,218
Let me get you guys
some spit bread.
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00:00:44,303 --> 00:00:47,472
Stan, you find fault
with every restaurant we go to.
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Can't we just once
have a nice meal
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00:00:49,491 --> 00:00:51,059
without you criticizing
everything?
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00:00:51,143 --> 00:00:52,393
I'm not criticizing
everything.
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I haven't said a word
about how the lighting in here
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00:00:54,813 --> 00:00:56,064
makes you look like
John Madden.
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00:00:56,148 --> 00:00:58,616
You look jowly here,
eyes look sunken here,
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00:00:58,684 --> 00:01:00,668
and boom, you're working
on a second chin.
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00:01:00,736 --> 00:01:03,304
Cat whiskers.
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00:01:05,857 --> 00:01:07,492
Why can't we find
a single restaurant
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00:01:07,543 --> 00:01:08,709
that's good enough
for you?!
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00:01:08,794 --> 00:01:10,027
What the hell?!
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00:01:10,079 --> 00:01:11,829
Oh, the hell? You
want the hell, huh?!
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I'll tell you the hell!
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00:01:13,332 --> 00:01:15,967
Take the wheel while
I look off reflectively.
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I was eight years old,
and my dad had just left us.
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I thought
I'd never be happy again.
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00:01:21,957 --> 00:01:23,875
Come on, Stan.
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00:01:23,942 --> 00:01:25,910
Little did I know
she was taking me
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to the happiest place on Earth.
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Hey, little guy! I heard
your dad walked out on you
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'cause he didn't love you enough
to stay.
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But I know
what'll make you feel better.
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At that moment,
I was a hundred percent sure
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I was going to be molested,
but it was even better.
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00:01:47,683 --> 00:01:49,484
Forget about the menu.
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00:01:49,551 --> 00:01:51,302
Tonight, you can have
whatever you want.
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Can I have a
licorice burrito?
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Now you're talking!
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00:01:54,439 --> 00:01:56,224
That was a magical night.
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I had chocolate-covered
hot dogs.
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00:01:57,943 --> 00:01:59,627
I had cherry-pie pizza.
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00:01:59,695 --> 00:02:03,147
I had the third-worst
diarrhea of my young life.
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00:02:03,215 --> 00:02:04,782
We closed the place down
that night.
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00:02:04,850 --> 00:02:06,434
It was the best dinner ever.
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00:02:06,502 --> 00:02:08,302
Come back any time!
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00:02:09,655 --> 00:02:12,423
I'll always be here
for you, Stan!
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00:02:16,895 --> 00:02:18,762
So you weren't molested?
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00:02:18,814 --> 00:02:21,032
No, that wasn't till
four or five years later.
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It was my first week
at Christian camp.
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00:02:23,368 --> 00:02:25,769
But I'm not ready
to talk about Father Roy.
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Boy, he had a set
of paws on him.
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What a summer.
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00:02:29,908 --> 00:02:32,660
Anyway, no restaurant has
ever been as good or as fun.
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That's why I'm
always so critical.
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I just know I
could do it better.
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Then why don't you?
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Open up your own restaurant!
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00:02:38,500 --> 00:02:39,717
But I couldn't do that.
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I don't know
the first thing
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00:02:41,386 --> 00:02:42,386
about the restaurant
business.
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00:02:42,454 --> 00:02:43,804
Whoa, whoa, pull over!
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00:02:43,889 --> 00:02:46,007
I think I just saw Roger
in a lawn chair.
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00:02:47,242 --> 00:02:49,143
Roger, what
are you doing?
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00:02:49,211 --> 00:02:51,512
Signing you up for an
adult literacy class.
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"Nocturnal...
petting... zoo."
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Get out of here!
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00:02:56,685 --> 00:02:57,985
I warned you, Dugan!
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Sorry if I was a little
curt with you before.
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00:03:01,089 --> 00:03:02,690
These junkies
got me on edge.
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00:03:02,758 --> 00:03:04,926
What do you know
about working with animals?
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00:03:04,993 --> 00:03:06,711
Nothing. When I get something
in my mind,
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I always make it happen.
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00:03:07,913 --> 00:03:09,380
And I stick to it, too.
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00:03:09,448 --> 00:03:11,465
No, I don't stick to it.
That's not believable.
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00:03:11,533 --> 00:03:12,767
But the first part's true.
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00:03:12,834 --> 00:03:15,820
Dugan, there's urine
in this bottle!
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00:03:15,888 --> 00:03:18,589
Stan, Roger's the
perfect guy to talk to
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00:03:18,657 --> 00:03:20,558
about your dream of
opening a restaurant.
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He's always doing new things
he knows nothing about.
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Do you know where
the office is?
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It's right down there.
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You new or something?
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Yeah. I got kicked
out of my old school
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for having too much sex.
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Oh, tingle.
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00:03:35,023 --> 00:03:36,257
My name's Ashley.
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00:03:36,325 --> 00:03:38,259
My mom's going out
of town next week.
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Why don't you come over?
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Yes!
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00:03:40,896 --> 00:03:42,396
Oh, wait.
I just remembered
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00:03:42,464 --> 00:03:44,732
I promised my best friend
Julie we'd hang out.
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00:03:44,816 --> 00:03:48,052
Unless you could
bring a friend for her.
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00:03:48,120 --> 00:03:50,121
Oh! Oh-oh,
yeah. No prob!
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00:03:50,188 --> 00:03:52,573
Great. Oh, and just
so you know,
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00:03:52,641 --> 00:03:54,442
I end up going
all the way
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on the first date
every time.
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Is that okay?
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With me, it is.
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00:03:58,780 --> 00:04:00,548
I would not tell
anyone else that.
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Every other boy here
would be furious.
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00:04:07,089 --> 00:04:09,206
Hey, Roger.
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00:04:09,258 --> 00:04:10,925
Uh, what you doing?
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00:04:11,009 --> 00:04:12,176
Sorry, Stan.
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00:04:12,227 --> 00:04:14,245
I'm under the gun
on this repair order.
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00:04:14,313 --> 00:04:17,048
I didn't think the demand for 17th
century ironwork was this brisk.
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When did you
learn how to weld?
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This morning. Didn't
even read the manual.
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Just dove right in.
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See? Why can't I do that?
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You can.
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00:04:24,273 --> 00:04:25,489
Don't be afraid. Here.
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Turn it off.
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00:04:30,912 --> 00:04:32,897
Listen, I'm actually here
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'cause I want to
open a restaurant.
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00:04:35,133 --> 00:04:36,901
A restaurant? Why?
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00:04:38,904 --> 00:04:41,138
Well, when I was
eight years old,
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00:04:41,206 --> 00:04:43,040
my dad walked out on us.
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00:04:43,108 --> 00:04:46,877
Oh, my God,
your story has moved me!
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00:04:46,945 --> 00:04:49,180
You have to open
a restaurant just like that!
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00:04:49,247 --> 00:04:50,448
I don't know if I can.
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00:04:50,515 --> 00:04:51,549
I know you can.
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I'll help you.
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00:04:53,085 --> 00:04:54,885
I'll help you so much.
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All you need is confidence.
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Hit it!
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00:04:58,090 --> 00:04:59,573
♪ Well... ♪
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♪ And that's how they do it
from Egypt to France ♪
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00:05:02,444 --> 00:05:06,897
♪ A big bold step
called the confi-dance! ♪
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00:05:06,965 --> 00:05:08,766
Bravo! Bravo!
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00:05:08,817 --> 00:05:10,568
I'm so glad you liked it.
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00:05:10,619 --> 00:05:11,569
Let's do this.
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For you.
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00:05:12,704 --> 00:05:14,005
You were fantastic.
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00:05:15,023 --> 00:05:16,991
Oh... these are cheap.
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00:05:18,660 --> 00:05:20,494
Restaurants are
a tricky business,
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00:05:20,562 --> 00:05:22,330
and it doesn't look
like you've worked
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00:05:22,397 --> 00:05:24,165
in the industry before.
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00:05:24,232 --> 00:05:26,000
Mr. Smith, I'm sorry,
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00:05:26,068 --> 00:05:28,002
but I don't think
I can approve this loan.
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00:05:28,070 --> 00:05:29,820
But, sir, please!
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00:05:29,888 --> 00:05:31,188
Roger, wait.
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00:05:31,256 --> 00:05:33,791
Do some of the confi-dance.
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00:05:33,842 --> 00:05:36,861
Okay, listen to me and everybody
lives a lot longer!
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00:05:36,928 --> 00:05:38,045
Oh, my God!
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00:05:38,113 --> 00:05:39,480
Roger what are you doing?
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00:05:39,548 --> 00:05:41,132
I went outside
to feed the meter.
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00:05:41,199 --> 00:05:42,933
It's cold out there.
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00:05:43,001 --> 00:05:44,635
Anyway, if you want
to live longer,
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00:05:44,703 --> 00:05:46,170
you have
to eat good food.
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00:05:46,238 --> 00:05:48,005
Not canned and frozen foods,
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00:05:48,073 --> 00:05:50,775
not foods trucked in
from out of state.
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00:05:50,826 --> 00:05:52,009
No!
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00:05:52,077 --> 00:05:53,944
Who believes food
should be grown locally
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00:05:54,012 --> 00:05:55,046
with no pesticides?
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00:05:55,113 --> 00:05:56,180
Farm to table.
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00:05:56,248 --> 00:05:57,882
Plate to face.
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00:05:57,949 --> 00:06:00,551
Because that's the kind of
restaurant my friend is opening.
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00:06:00,619 --> 00:06:02,019
Who wants to eat
at his restaurant?
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Oh, yeah.
Great.
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00:06:03,255 --> 00:06:04,588
I'd love that.
Plate to face.
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00:06:04,656 --> 00:06:07,792
Best presentation ever.
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00:06:07,843 --> 00:06:09,794
Looks like you're in business.
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00:06:09,845 --> 00:06:12,279
Good morning!
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00:06:12,347 --> 00:06:15,082
I'd like to open
a checking account!
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00:06:21,824 --> 00:06:24,626
Roger, I was up all night
building this exact replica
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00:06:24,694 --> 00:06:26,411
of what I think the restaurant
should look like.
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Great. It's your vision.
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00:06:27,680 --> 00:06:29,097
I am here to help you
realize it.
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00:06:30,299 --> 00:06:31,600
Yeah?
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00:06:31,667 --> 00:06:32,751
Kill the work!
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00:06:32,819 --> 00:06:34,453
I got a long-distance call here!
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00:06:34,520 --> 00:06:35,454
Larga distancia.
Larga distancia.
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00:06:35,521 --> 00:06:36,955
Ooh, larga distancia.
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00:06:37,023 --> 00:06:39,424
Stan, that was the phone call
we've been waiting for.
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00:06:39,492 --> 00:06:40,559
We got Qui-Lo,
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00:06:40,626 --> 00:06:42,994
the Laotian midget master chef.
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00:06:43,062 --> 00:06:47,299
Oh, well, I was kind of thinking
we'd keep things simple and fun.
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00:06:47,366 --> 00:06:49,334
See, I made up
a sample menu.
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00:06:49,402 --> 00:06:51,703
Wow, what's, what's
a ravioli burger?
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00:06:51,771 --> 00:06:53,705
It's a hamburger
with all the trimmings
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00:06:53,773 --> 00:06:55,941
slumbering
inside a giant ravioli.
188
00:06:56,008 --> 00:06:58,009
Oh, my God,
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00:06:58,077 --> 00:07:00,812
you and I are going
to get so fat.
190
00:07:00,880 --> 00:07:02,714
Average American fat.
191
00:07:02,782 --> 00:07:04,282
And Qui-Lo, that hunky
little potsticker?
192
00:07:04,350 --> 00:07:06,017
He could cook this
stuff in his sleep.
193
00:07:06,085 --> 00:07:07,352
Are you sure?
194
00:07:07,420 --> 00:07:09,221
Trust me. I know
the restaurant business.
195
00:07:09,288 --> 00:07:12,257
I managed a Hardee's
in Myrtle Beach for three years.
196
00:07:12,325 --> 00:07:14,526
Everyone called it
"Party Hardee's" 'cause
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00:07:14,594 --> 00:07:16,895
of the buttload of drugs
I was moving through there.
198
00:07:16,963 --> 00:07:18,697
I was "sick" the day
of the raid.
199
00:07:18,765 --> 00:07:20,499
Got tipped off by this detective
200
00:07:20,566 --> 00:07:22,184
whose daughter I saved
from drowning.
201
00:07:22,251 --> 00:07:23,819
But I-I can't go back there.
202
00:07:23,886 --> 00:07:25,587
He won't look
the other way again.
203
00:07:27,757 --> 00:07:29,024
So did your girl say
204
00:07:29,092 --> 00:07:30,659
my girl was hot
and slutty, too?
205
00:07:30,726 --> 00:07:31,960
She didn't say,
206
00:07:32,028 --> 00:07:33,495
but hot sluts hang
out together.
207
00:07:33,563 --> 00:07:34,629
Excellent.
208
00:07:34,697 --> 00:07:35,997
I'll use the condom first.
209
00:07:36,065 --> 00:07:38,150
Hey, guys.
Come on in.
210
00:07:40,820 --> 00:07:42,621
You must be Snot.
211
00:07:42,688 --> 00:07:44,356
Yeah, yeah.
So where's Julia at?
212
00:07:44,423 --> 00:07:45,690
She's right here.
213
00:07:48,161 --> 00:07:49,494
She's a doll.
214
00:07:49,562 --> 00:07:51,396
Yeah, she's super cute.
215
00:07:51,464 --> 00:07:52,664
Everybody says so.
216
00:07:52,732 --> 00:07:54,816
What's that, Julia? Ah.
217
00:07:54,901 --> 00:07:57,102
She says she likes Jews.
218
00:07:57,170 --> 00:07:58,537
Okay, wait a second.
219
00:07:58,604 --> 00:07:59,654
You know that's not a real...
220
00:08:02,125 --> 00:08:03,909
So, Julia seems great.
221
00:08:03,976 --> 00:08:06,278
Steve, can I talk
to you for a second?
222
00:08:07,647 --> 00:08:08,880
I'm out of here.
223
00:08:08,948 --> 00:08:10,615
Okay, so Ashley's
crazy as hell,
224
00:08:10,683 --> 00:08:11,950
but she's good to go.
225
00:08:12,018 --> 00:08:14,269
You have to do this for me.
226
00:08:14,337 --> 00:08:17,489
How many chocolate bars did I buy so your
Hebrew school could go to Mount Vernon?!
227
00:08:17,557 --> 00:08:20,058
11.
228
00:08:22,795 --> 00:08:25,013
Well, I leased the restaurant
truck like you wanted!
229
00:08:25,097 --> 00:08:26,631
Is it Arctic White?
230
00:08:26,699 --> 00:08:28,683
Yeah. It's weird
how white it is.
231
00:08:28,768 --> 00:08:30,268
Weirder than one
of those white dog poos.
232
00:08:30,336 --> 00:08:32,070
Oh, yeah, those are weird.
233
00:08:32,138 --> 00:08:34,222
Have you ever seen
a dog lay one of those?
234
00:08:34,307 --> 00:08:36,241
No. Just seen them on the grass.
Me, too.
235
00:08:36,309 --> 00:08:38,226
Maybe, maybe they
come out brown
236
00:08:38,311 --> 00:08:40,445
and it's some sort of mold or
fungus that turns them white.
237
00:08:40,512 --> 00:08:43,048
Like if you cracked one open,
it might be brown on the inside?
238
00:08:43,115 --> 00:08:44,516
Like a powdered
chocolate donut.
239
00:08:44,584 --> 00:08:46,535
Mmm... Now you're
making me hungry.
240
00:08:46,602 --> 00:08:47,736
How's my dream coming?
241
00:08:47,803 --> 00:08:48,920
I've been running
around so much,
242
00:08:48,988 --> 00:08:50,572
I haven't had
a chance to see...
243
00:08:50,640 --> 00:08:51,706
It's still drying.
244
00:08:51,774 --> 00:08:53,208
Hey, want to come with me?
245
00:08:53,276 --> 00:08:55,544
I'm heading to the organic
farm to choose the produce
246
00:08:55,611 --> 00:08:57,529
for your Cap'n Crunch
vegetable tempura.
247
00:08:57,597 --> 00:08:59,281
Sounds good.
I'll fire up the truck.
248
00:08:59,348 --> 00:09:01,383
Great. I'll follow you on
my scooter if that's okay.
249
00:09:03,636 --> 00:09:05,520
This is amazing.
250
00:09:05,588 --> 00:09:07,422
I can't believe
I'm opening my own restaurant.
251
00:09:07,490 --> 00:09:08,673
You're doing it, buddy.
252
00:09:08,741 --> 00:09:10,108
You're living
your dream.
253
00:09:10,176 --> 00:09:11,710
Not a lot of people
can say that.
254
00:09:11,777 --> 00:09:13,511
Oh, no, look at this.
255
00:09:13,579 --> 00:09:16,548
I got strawberry all over
my brand-new white Keds.
256
00:09:16,616 --> 00:09:19,718
Looks like I just bought a
$45 pair of knock-around shoes.
257
00:09:19,785 --> 00:09:22,821
Roger, I really want
to thank you for helping me.
258
00:09:22,889 --> 00:09:25,290
The truth is, I...
I was always afraid.
259
00:09:25,358 --> 00:09:27,943
I thought it was better to keep
this restaurant idea in my head
260
00:09:28,010 --> 00:09:29,411
because if I tried and failed,
261
00:09:29,478 --> 00:09:30,845
I wouldn't even have my dream
anymore.
262
00:09:32,381 --> 00:09:34,599
Oh God! Farmer Ted,
what's wrong with the cow?
263
00:09:34,667 --> 00:09:36,251
Not a thing.
264
00:09:36,319 --> 00:09:37,919
She's about to
give birth is all.
265
00:09:37,987 --> 00:09:40,922
Oh, that's so damn beautiful.
266
00:09:40,990 --> 00:09:43,792
Promise me you'll call us
when she goes into labor, okay?
267
00:09:43,859 --> 00:09:46,328
We want to be here.
Day or night. Uh...
268
00:09:46,395 --> 00:09:48,847
Here's my home number,
my cell, and the women's shelter
269
00:09:48,914 --> 00:09:50,832
where I'm either
volunteering
270
00:09:50,900 --> 00:09:52,767
or dropping off
my stupid whore wife.
271
00:09:52,835 --> 00:09:56,288
Soup is not a meal, Vera!
272
00:09:59,992 --> 00:10:02,661
Good shot.
273
00:10:02,728 --> 00:10:03,728
Julia's turn.
274
00:10:03,796 --> 00:10:07,699
Um, Snot, she's never
played before.
275
00:10:07,767 --> 00:10:09,567
Maybe you could teach her.
276
00:10:14,874 --> 00:10:16,141
Oh, she's doing it!
277
00:10:16,208 --> 00:10:17,892
Beginner's luck.
278
00:10:21,514 --> 00:10:22,831
Yo, Snotster,
279
00:10:22,898 --> 00:10:25,283
how about you and your lady
give us a little privacy?
280
00:10:28,120 --> 00:10:30,889
Stupid doll.
281
00:10:30,957 --> 00:10:32,707
Did you hear that?
282
00:10:32,775 --> 00:10:34,542
There's no blood going
to my ears, sweetheart.
283
00:10:34,610 --> 00:10:36,044
I'd better go
check on Julia.
284
00:10:41,233 --> 00:10:43,985
You took advantage of Julia!
285
00:10:44,053 --> 00:10:45,153
What?
286
00:10:45,221 --> 00:10:47,822
Oh, no-no-no-no-no-no.
287
00:10:47,890 --> 00:10:49,190
Get out!
288
00:10:49,258 --> 00:10:51,026
What's going...?
Both of you, get out!
289
00:10:51,093 --> 00:10:52,227
No, no, wait!
290
00:10:52,295 --> 00:10:53,328
She was a virgin!
291
00:10:53,396 --> 00:10:55,430
What's that, Julia?
292
00:10:55,498 --> 00:10:56,765
He didn't use a condom?!
293
00:10:56,832 --> 00:10:59,367
You didn't use a condom?
294
00:10:59,435 --> 00:11:01,703
Are you kidding me?
295
00:11:03,706 --> 00:11:05,273
Stan, I thought
I sent you
296
00:11:05,341 --> 00:11:06,908
to Memphis
for napkin holders.
297
00:11:06,976 --> 00:11:08,009
Yeah, I drove all night.
298
00:11:08,077 --> 00:11:09,944
Why is
the grand opening sign up?
299
00:11:10,012 --> 00:11:11,446
We're not opening
for three weeks.
300
00:11:11,514 --> 00:11:12,580
Oh, I moved it up.
301
00:11:12,648 --> 00:11:14,149
But I didn't do
my final walk-through.
302
00:11:14,216 --> 00:11:15,800
I didn't, I didn't do
any walk-through.
303
00:11:15,868 --> 00:11:17,035
Well, no time
like the present.
304
00:11:17,103 --> 00:11:18,636
Take a look. Ta-dah!
305
00:11:18,704 --> 00:11:21,022
Ow! Ow! Did I sprain my wrists?
306
00:11:21,107 --> 00:11:22,223
No, they're fine.
307
00:11:22,291 --> 00:11:24,743
Oh!
No, no. No, I didn't.
308
00:11:28,364 --> 00:11:29,481
What is this?!
309
00:11:29,532 --> 00:11:31,366
Your dream restaurant:
310
00:11:31,434 --> 00:11:33,752
Roger's Laotian Adventure.
311
00:11:33,819 --> 00:11:35,553
But what about
my scale model?
312
00:11:35,621 --> 00:11:37,422
Stan, it took quite
a bit of doing,
313
00:11:37,490 --> 00:11:39,591
but I managed to wipe
my butt with it.
314
00:11:39,658 --> 00:11:40,725
What?
Look, it's time
315
00:11:40,793 --> 00:11:41,910
for some opening-
night honesty.
316
00:11:41,977 --> 00:11:43,278
Your ideas
are terrible.
317
00:11:43,346 --> 00:11:44,379
I've done you a favor.
318
00:11:45,481 --> 00:11:46,414
Qui-Lo, shut up!
319
00:11:46,482 --> 00:11:48,083
I'm trying to talk here.
320
00:11:52,588 --> 00:11:55,073
Wow, Qui-Lo's
freakin' fired up.
321
00:11:55,141 --> 00:11:56,157
This isn't my menu!
322
00:11:56,225 --> 00:11:58,309
Where's the Raisinet carbonara?
323
00:11:58,377 --> 00:11:59,377
Where's the ravioli burger?
324
00:11:59,445 --> 00:12:00,912
Where is it?
325
00:12:00,980 --> 00:12:02,947
It's in your head
where it belongs.
326
00:12:03,015 --> 00:12:04,616
Because it's stupid.
327
00:12:04,683 --> 00:12:06,985
It's in your
stupid head.
328
00:12:07,053 --> 00:12:08,536
You son of a bitch!
329
00:12:08,604 --> 00:12:09,637
You insult my mother?!
330
00:12:09,705 --> 00:12:11,673
If you had half
the culinary talent
331
00:12:11,741 --> 00:12:12,991
she had in her
little finger...!
332
00:12:14,009 --> 00:12:15,143
What?!
333
00:12:15,211 --> 00:12:16,778
Oh, my God!
334
00:12:20,049 --> 00:12:22,200
Oh! Oh!
335
00:12:22,268 --> 00:12:23,901
It's a girl!
Oh!
336
00:12:26,205 --> 00:12:27,939
She's so beautiful!
337
00:12:29,408 --> 00:12:31,426
Oh, look at that!
338
00:12:31,510 --> 00:12:32,927
Would you look
at that!
339
00:12:55,851 --> 00:12:57,819
...in my mother's
little finger
340
00:12:57,887 --> 00:12:59,621
than you have in
your entire body,
341
00:12:59,688 --> 00:13:00,789
you no-talent hack!
342
00:13:00,856 --> 00:13:02,390
You know what?
You're fired!
343
00:13:02,458 --> 00:13:04,426
You can't fire me
from my own restaurant!
344
00:13:04,493 --> 00:13:06,027
Actually,
it's all mine.
345
00:13:06,095 --> 00:13:08,029
The bank wouldn't
lend you 50 cents!
346
00:13:08,097 --> 00:13:10,231
The restaurant, the truck,
the napkin holders,
347
00:13:10,299 --> 00:13:11,332
they're all mine!
348
00:13:11,400 --> 00:13:13,234
But to show you
I'm a good guy,
349
00:13:13,302 --> 00:13:15,804
I got you this. Ta-dah!
350
00:13:15,871 --> 00:13:16,888
The perfect split.
351
00:13:16,956 --> 00:13:17,922
You like that?
352
00:13:17,990 --> 00:13:19,190
Get off my property.
353
00:13:24,716 --> 00:13:26,951
I can't believe
Roger fired you!
354
00:13:27,018 --> 00:13:29,453
He told me all my
ideas were stupid.
355
00:13:29,521 --> 00:13:31,255
You can't let him steal
your dream.
356
00:13:31,323 --> 00:13:32,389
It's too late, Francine.
357
00:13:32,457 --> 00:13:33,924
It's already done.
358
00:13:33,992 --> 00:13:36,227
I'm gonna grab
some shut-eye.
359
00:13:36,311 --> 00:13:38,646
Maybe dream a new dream!
360
00:13:41,733 --> 00:13:43,217
Francine, we've
been driving for hours.
361
00:13:43,268 --> 00:13:45,319
Are we at
the frozen yogurt place yet?
362
00:13:45,386 --> 00:13:46,821
Actually, Stan,
that was a trick.
363
00:13:46,888 --> 00:13:48,388
We're in Philadelphia.
364
00:13:48,440 --> 00:13:49,523
Take a look.
365
00:13:49,574 --> 00:13:51,909
Does this bring
back any memories?
366
00:13:51,977 --> 00:13:53,978
Oh, you want me
to confront Father Roy
367
00:13:54,045 --> 00:13:55,379
about what happened
at camp.
368
00:13:55,447 --> 00:13:58,716
Thing is, I'm not sure
it was entirely his fault.
369
00:13:58,784 --> 00:14:00,684
I may have deserved it.
370
00:14:00,752 --> 00:14:02,987
In fact, I may
have instigated it.
371
00:14:03,054 --> 00:14:05,606
Actually, Francine,
I seduced him.
372
00:14:05,674 --> 00:14:08,425
I don't know why I wanted him,
but I wanted him.
373
00:14:08,510 --> 00:14:09,777
There was no actual
374
00:14:09,845 --> 00:14:11,011
inser...
Stan, no!
375
00:14:11,079 --> 00:14:12,746
This isn't about that!
376
00:14:12,814 --> 00:14:14,882
This wasn't
always a church.
377
00:14:14,950 --> 00:14:17,318
This used to be
Mr. Johnson's restaurant.
378
00:14:18,520 --> 00:14:20,254
Remember the dinner
you had here?
379
00:14:20,322 --> 00:14:22,256
Remember what
it meant to you?
380
00:14:22,324 --> 00:14:25,192
Don't let Roger steal
that dream from you.
381
00:14:28,613 --> 00:14:31,115
Clearly there's some kind
of natural gas leak.
382
00:14:31,183 --> 00:14:32,766
They really have
to stop building here.
383
00:14:36,538 --> 00:14:38,005
Ashley, come on!
384
00:14:38,073 --> 00:14:39,640
It was all a big
misunderstanding.
385
00:14:39,708 --> 00:14:40,808
Really?
386
00:14:40,876 --> 00:14:43,110
Well, is it a
misunderstanding
387
00:14:43,161 --> 00:14:44,795
that Julia's
period is late?!
388
00:14:44,863 --> 00:14:47,431
What?
I don't blame
Snot, okay?
389
00:14:47,499 --> 00:14:50,484
Julia told me she was
the one who jumped him.
390
00:14:50,552 --> 00:14:53,120
Great! So you and I can
pick up where we left off.
391
00:14:53,188 --> 00:14:56,690
Oh, I wish, but I really just
need to be with Julia right now.
392
00:14:56,758 --> 00:14:59,460
She decided not
to keep the baby.
393
00:14:59,528 --> 00:15:01,161
Oh, wow.
394
00:15:01,229 --> 00:15:02,730
Well, uh, Snot and I
395
00:15:02,797 --> 00:15:04,765
are gonna give you
our complete support.
396
00:15:04,833 --> 00:15:07,535
Aw, I knew
you were a sweetie.
397
00:15:07,602 --> 00:15:11,071
And soon I'm gonna
taste that sweetness.
398
00:15:12,657 --> 00:15:13,958
Ah!
399
00:15:14,025 --> 00:15:16,026
This cold locker ought to
relieve my swelling.
400
00:15:19,097 --> 00:15:21,432
Qui-Lo, open the damn door!
401
00:15:25,503 --> 00:15:26,570
Lovers' quarrel?
402
00:15:26,638 --> 00:15:27,905
What the hell
are you doin?
403
00:15:27,973 --> 00:15:29,106
I fired you.
404
00:15:29,174 --> 00:15:31,041
I got a loan
from Francine's parents,
405
00:15:31,109 --> 00:15:32,977
and I'm opening a restaurant
next door.
406
00:15:33,044 --> 00:15:34,778
It's gonna kick your ass.
407
00:15:34,846 --> 00:15:37,414
Ha! You open a restaurant?
408
00:15:37,482 --> 00:15:39,083
You couldn't open
a French whore's legs
409
00:15:39,150 --> 00:15:40,351
with a wheel of cheese.
410
00:15:40,418 --> 00:15:42,052
Well, I've got some help.
411
00:15:42,120 --> 00:15:44,438
He's late 'cause
he has to quit first.
412
00:15:48,509 --> 00:15:49,676
Fine, quit!
413
00:15:49,728 --> 00:15:51,328
You're a bum, Qui-Lo!
414
00:15:51,396 --> 00:15:53,030
You think you can
treat people like this
415
00:15:53,098 --> 00:15:54,565
because you've got
everything going for you?!
416
00:15:54,633 --> 00:15:57,217
Well, obviously you can
because I'm fine with you,
417
00:15:57,285 --> 00:15:59,920
and I'll be rooting for you
in the bike race this Friday!
418
00:16:02,324 --> 00:16:03,924
Wow, Francine!
419
00:16:03,992 --> 00:16:06,026
This is exactly
what I wanted!
420
00:16:06,094 --> 00:16:08,062
♪ ♪
421
00:16:10,432 --> 00:16:12,883
And this is exactly what
I was afraid of.
422
00:16:12,951 --> 00:16:14,351
No one's coming.
423
00:16:14,419 --> 00:16:17,187
Roger was right,
my ideas are stupid.
424
00:16:18,423 --> 00:16:19,356
Stan!
425
00:16:19,424 --> 00:16:20,808
It's a whoopee cushion.
426
00:16:20,875 --> 00:16:23,043
They're on all the chairs.
427
00:16:23,111 --> 00:16:24,511
It's funny.
428
00:16:24,579 --> 00:16:26,146
Something's not right.
429
00:16:29,551 --> 00:16:31,118
Stan!
430
00:16:43,865 --> 00:16:46,817
COOKS & STAN
Welcome, chum!
You got the eats?!
431
00:16:46,885 --> 00:16:47,885
People love
to be greeted.
432
00:16:47,953 --> 00:16:48,852
We're doing that here.
433
00:16:48,920 --> 00:16:50,704
Right this way.
434
00:16:50,772 --> 00:16:51,905
Work in the area?
435
00:16:51,973 --> 00:16:54,625
Actually, I sing
in the D.C. Opera.
436
00:16:56,061 --> 00:16:57,428
Oh, excuse me!
437
00:16:57,495 --> 00:16:58,812
That was
a whoopee cushion.
438
00:16:58,880 --> 00:17:00,147
No.
439
00:17:00,215 --> 00:17:01,849
Here are some
chocolate chip meatballs
440
00:17:01,916 --> 00:17:02,967
to get you started.
441
00:17:03,034 --> 00:17:04,118
Ooh...!
442
00:17:05,804 --> 00:17:06,904
What the...?
443
00:17:06,972 --> 00:17:08,572
My knife went
right through my plate!
444
00:17:08,640 --> 00:17:09,840
Oh, th-the plate is edible.
445
00:17:09,908 --> 00:17:10,908
It's a pancake.
446
00:17:10,976 --> 00:17:12,843
A pancake plate?
447
00:17:12,911 --> 00:17:15,012
What a wonderful idea!
448
00:17:15,080 --> 00:17:16,981
♪ Pancake ♪
449
00:17:17,048 --> 00:17:22,453
♪ Plaaaaa...! ♪
450
00:17:22,520 --> 00:17:24,121
♪ ...ate! ♪
451
00:17:24,205 --> 00:17:25,639
Now don't let
Julia's situation
452
00:17:25,707 --> 00:17:27,374
put you off of sex.
453
00:17:27,442 --> 00:17:29,643
We should take our time
and do it safely.
454
00:17:29,711 --> 00:17:31,211
This bush looks great.
455
00:17:33,732 --> 00:17:35,199
Are you okay?
456
00:17:35,266 --> 00:17:37,935
Oh, Jules,
it's behind you now.
457
00:17:38,003 --> 00:17:41,071
Everything's
gonna be fine.
458
00:17:41,139 --> 00:17:42,940
What did you actually
do in there?
459
00:17:43,008 --> 00:17:44,074
Nothing.
I went in,
460
00:17:44,142 --> 00:17:45,876
gave my number
to any girl
461
00:17:45,944 --> 00:17:47,444
who wasn't crying,
and came back out.
462
00:17:47,512 --> 00:17:50,014
So, now that
everything's taken care of,
463
00:17:50,081 --> 00:17:51,982
you and I can get
some sex going.
464
00:17:52,050 --> 00:17:55,486
No. Julia's just
so emotional right now,
465
00:17:55,553 --> 00:17:59,089
and I just have to spend
all of my time with her.
466
00:17:59,157 --> 00:18:00,958
We have to get rid of that doll!
467
00:18:01,026 --> 00:18:03,043
No way! I'm done!
468
00:18:03,111 --> 00:18:04,528
Mount Vernon, dude.
469
00:18:04,612 --> 00:18:06,547
I hated that trip!
470
00:18:06,614 --> 00:18:08,866
I pooed my pants
on the bus ride there.
471
00:18:08,933 --> 00:18:10,934
That's a long time
472
00:18:11,002 --> 00:18:12,669
to pretend you don't
smell anything.
473
00:18:12,737 --> 00:18:14,505
Don't go in there!
474
00:18:14,589 --> 00:18:15,989
Come eat
at my restaurant!
475
00:18:16,057 --> 00:18:17,324
Hey, Roger,
ya got the eats?
476
00:18:17,392 --> 00:18:19,076
Sorry, Stan,
I'm a little busy right now.
477
00:18:19,144 --> 00:18:20,711
You know, lunch rush.
478
00:18:22,680 --> 00:18:24,281
Welcome. Do you
have a reservation?
479
00:18:24,349 --> 00:18:25,599
Uh...
No problem.
480
00:18:25,667 --> 00:18:27,568
Why don't you have
a drink at the bar,
481
00:18:27,635 --> 00:18:29,486
and we'll see if we
can find you a table.
482
00:18:30,855 --> 00:18:32,923
What can I get you, Mac?
483
00:18:32,991 --> 00:18:34,691
Uh, I'm meeting friends at...
484
00:18:34,759 --> 00:18:36,193
Can I use
your crapper?
485
00:18:36,261 --> 00:18:37,327
Get out of here!
486
00:18:37,395 --> 00:18:38,529
There's a bathroom
in the park!
487
00:18:38,596 --> 00:18:39,630
The service here sucks!
488
00:18:39,697 --> 00:18:41,265
Have you even
seen a waiter?
489
00:18:41,332 --> 00:18:43,317
What am I doing?
This isn't helping me.
490
00:18:45,587 --> 00:18:47,554
Macaroni and sweet tarts!
491
00:18:47,622 --> 00:18:49,890
WAITER & COOKS:
Macaroni and sweet tarts!
Stacks!
492
00:18:52,327 --> 00:18:53,844
MAN
Gah! Good God!
493
00:18:53,912 --> 00:18:55,546
There's a cockroach
in my salad!
494
00:18:56,581 --> 00:18:57,965
I'm terribly sorry!
495
00:18:58,032 --> 00:18:59,066
Wait a second.
496
00:18:59,134 --> 00:19:00,134
This is a food restaurant.
497
00:19:00,201 --> 00:19:01,135
We don't serve salad.
498
00:19:01,202 --> 00:19:03,137
Well, it came from your kitchen!
499
00:19:03,204 --> 00:19:05,639
Roger! Don't-don't worry,
everybody, it's fine.
500
00:19:05,707 --> 00:19:06,940
Don't eat here.
501
00:19:07,008 --> 00:19:08,475
There's a clean restaurant
next door.
502
00:19:08,543 --> 00:19:09,777
If that's really
from our kitchen,
503
00:19:09,844 --> 00:19:10,944
then you can eat the plate.
504
00:19:22,891 --> 00:19:24,358
Delicious.
505
00:19:24,425 --> 00:19:26,143
Tito, I need you
to fix the vibe.
506
00:19:26,211 --> 00:19:28,245
You know what to do.
507
00:19:28,313 --> 00:19:30,314
♪ ♪
508
00:19:35,303 --> 00:19:36,336
Hey, Ashley.
509
00:19:36,404 --> 00:19:38,305
I just came by
to check on Julia.
510
00:19:38,373 --> 00:19:39,840
That's so nice of you.
511
00:19:43,411 --> 00:19:45,312
Julia! No!
512
00:19:46,664 --> 00:19:49,216
Oh, look,
it's her suicide note.
513
00:19:49,284 --> 00:19:51,819
"Dear Ashley,
I'm in a better place.
514
00:19:51,886 --> 00:19:53,754
Have sex with Steve."
515
00:19:53,822 --> 00:19:56,089
Mmm, in loving memoriam
516
00:19:56,157 --> 00:19:58,358
to your best friend's
dying wish...
517
00:19:58,426 --> 00:19:59,793
Wait a minute.
518
00:19:59,861 --> 00:20:03,163
This... this is not
her handwriting.
519
00:20:03,231 --> 00:20:05,232
She was murdered!
520
00:20:05,300 --> 00:20:07,601
We cannot fool around
521
00:20:07,669 --> 00:20:09,903
while her killer is still
on the loose!
522
00:20:09,971 --> 00:20:11,939
Oh! that's it.
I'm out of here.
523
00:20:12,006 --> 00:20:14,291
Snot, it didn't work!
524
00:20:16,444 --> 00:20:17,861
You're a real weirdo!
525
00:20:17,929 --> 00:20:19,096
You know that?
526
00:20:22,450 --> 00:20:24,101
Well, my restaurant's
going under, Stan.
527
00:20:25,286 --> 00:20:26,453
You win.
528
00:20:26,521 --> 00:20:28,055
I acted like an ass.
529
00:20:28,122 --> 00:20:29,189
I'm sorry.
530
00:20:29,257 --> 00:20:30,757
You know,
I'm not even mad.
531
00:20:30,825 --> 00:20:32,576
In fact, I should
be thanking you.
532
00:20:32,644 --> 00:20:34,511
If you hadn't been
such a controlling jerk,
533
00:20:34,579 --> 00:20:36,897
I wouldn't have been mad
enough to try it on my own.
534
00:20:36,965 --> 00:20:38,398
Did you recapture
any of those feelings
535
00:20:38,466 --> 00:20:39,900
from when you were a kid
536
00:20:39,968 --> 00:20:40,901
in Mr. Johnson's
restaurant?
537
00:20:40,969 --> 00:20:41,985
You know, I did.
538
00:20:42,070 --> 00:20:43,604
It really felt good
539
00:20:43,655 --> 00:20:45,472
feeding the people
and making them smile.
540
00:20:45,523 --> 00:20:47,174
So, yeah, it was
pretty much the same.
541
00:20:47,242 --> 00:20:49,593
What do you say we make it
exactly the same?
542
00:20:49,661 --> 00:20:50,627
How do you mean?
543
00:20:51,663 --> 00:20:52,779
What the hell?!
544
00:20:52,830 --> 00:20:54,414
I was in over my head
financially.
545
00:20:54,482 --> 00:20:55,582
But why my place?
546
00:20:55,650 --> 00:20:57,117
No one will suspect
547
00:20:57,185 --> 00:20:59,169
a successful restaurateur
of arson, Stan.
548
00:20:59,237 --> 00:21:02,289
And it's spreading
to mine...
549
00:21:02,357 --> 00:21:03,323
right now.
550
00:21:03,391 --> 00:21:04,324
Oh, yeah!
551
00:21:04,392 --> 00:21:05,626
I'm gonna kill you!
552
00:21:05,677 --> 00:21:07,044
Whoa! Whoa-whoa-whoa,
take it easy.
553
00:21:07,128 --> 00:21:09,046
You just, you just need
to calm down, okay?
554
00:21:09,130 --> 00:21:10,130
Yeah, okay.
555
00:21:10,181 --> 00:21:12,049
Just relax.
556
00:21:13,104 --> 00:21:17,108
== Sync, corrected by elderman ==
== for www.addic7ed.com ==