1 00:00:03,578 --> 00:00:06,413 ♪ Good morning, USA! ♪ 2 00:00:06,481 --> 00:00:10,334 ♪ I got a feeling that it's gonna be a wonderful day ♪ 3 00:00:10,418 --> 00:00:13,287 ♪ The sun in the sky has a smile on his face ♪ 4 00:00:13,354 --> 00:00:17,458 ♪ And he's shining a salute to the American race ♪ 5 00:00:19,527 --> 00:00:23,047 ♪ Oh, boy, it's swell to say ♪ 6 00:00:23,131 --> 00:00:24,932 ♪ Good... ♪ ♪ Good morning, USA ♪ 7 00:00:24,999 --> 00:00:26,567 Aah! 8 00:00:26,634 --> 00:00:30,704 ♪ American Dad 6x07 ♪ The People vs. Martin Sugar Original Air Date on December 5, 2010 9 00:00:30,904 --> 00:00:34,104 == Sync, corrected by elderman == == for www.addic7ed.com == 10 00:00:36,444 --> 00:00:39,913 Superior Court of Langley Falls, Jury Service. 11 00:00:39,981 --> 00:00:40,981 Morning, Olivia. 12 00:00:41,049 --> 00:00:42,082 It's Stan Smith. 13 00:00:42,150 --> 00:00:43,450 Oh, hi, Stan. 14 00:00:43,518 --> 00:00:45,052 Has it been a year already? 15 00:00:45,120 --> 00:00:46,286 To the day. 16 00:00:46,354 --> 00:00:48,088 Did you get the self-addressed stamped envelope 17 00:00:48,156 --> 00:00:49,456 I sent for my jury summons? 18 00:00:49,524 --> 00:00:50,457 Mm-hmm. 19 00:00:52,393 --> 00:00:54,461 I'm ready to be back in the jury pool. 20 00:00:54,529 --> 00:00:56,497 I hope the water's warm. I hope the water's warm. 21 00:00:56,564 --> 00:00:58,398 Let me see what we got. 22 00:00:58,466 --> 00:01:00,601 I can put you on a multiple felony trial 23 00:01:00,668 --> 00:01:01,802 that starts tomorrow. 24 00:01:01,870 --> 00:01:03,303 Olivia, you're guilty. 25 00:01:03,371 --> 00:01:04,905 Of making my day. 26 00:01:08,810 --> 00:01:10,410 All right, I'll see you tomorrow. 27 00:01:10,478 --> 00:01:11,878 If you have no objections. 28 00:01:14,716 --> 00:01:16,483 It's me. I had to stop that. 29 00:01:16,551 --> 00:01:18,352 What is it with you and jury duty? 30 00:01:18,419 --> 00:01:20,087 Jury duty is the best way 31 00:01:20,155 --> 00:01:22,422 for honest citizens to punish lawbreakers. 32 00:01:22,490 --> 00:01:23,791 It's a waste of time. 33 00:01:23,858 --> 00:01:25,526 Like getting an HIV test. 34 00:01:25,593 --> 00:01:27,294 Roll the dice, scaredy-cats! 35 00:01:27,362 --> 00:01:29,596 Hey, I happen to know at least 20 of your personas 36 00:01:29,664 --> 00:01:30,998 have social security numbers. 37 00:01:31,065 --> 00:01:32,800 You must get called in for jury duty. 38 00:01:32,867 --> 00:01:35,836 I do. Want to see what I do with the letters they send me? 39 00:01:35,904 --> 00:01:38,205 The jury letters are just the top layer. 40 00:01:38,273 --> 00:01:41,008 Underneath are my parking tickets and alimony statements. 41 00:01:41,075 --> 00:01:42,876 All those bitches can starve. 42 00:01:42,944 --> 00:01:44,645 You just do whatever you want, don't you? 43 00:01:44,712 --> 00:01:45,846 Pretty much, bro. 44 00:01:45,914 --> 00:01:47,581 I do what I want, when I want. 45 00:01:47,649 --> 00:01:48,615 Exhibit A. 46 00:01:50,451 --> 00:01:53,287 I see you're admiring my special Austrian toilet. 47 00:01:53,354 --> 00:01:55,122 Very powerful suction. 48 00:01:55,190 --> 00:01:57,257 I like to clean my crack with your undershirts, 49 00:01:57,325 --> 00:01:59,560 so I need a crapper that can suck them down. 50 00:01:59,627 --> 00:02:02,596 One day you'll have to face the consequences of your actions. 51 00:02:02,664 --> 00:02:03,864 No, I won't. 52 00:02:03,932 --> 00:02:05,332 People forgive you if you're likable, 53 00:02:05,400 --> 00:02:08,101 and I'm the most charming S.O.B. anyone's ever met. 54 00:02:08,169 --> 00:02:10,871 Face it, I'm Ferris Bueller and you're my jealous, 55 00:02:10,939 --> 00:02:12,840 big-nosed, sour-faced sister Jeanie. 56 00:02:12,907 --> 00:02:13,841 I am not Jeanie. 57 00:02:13,908 --> 00:02:14,808 Sure you are. 58 00:02:14,876 --> 00:02:16,009 Now watch this. 59 00:02:19,247 --> 00:02:20,347 Look at that. 60 00:02:20,415 --> 00:02:22,115 Took my nipple clamps, too. 61 00:02:22,183 --> 00:02:24,318 Had those twisted on pretty tight. 62 00:02:26,054 --> 00:02:27,788 It's going to be so much fun 63 00:02:27,856 --> 00:02:29,590 having you two living in the house. 64 00:02:29,657 --> 00:02:32,759 And I want to formally welcome Jeff to our home. 65 00:02:32,827 --> 00:02:35,429 Thanks, Mrs. S. 66 00:02:35,496 --> 00:02:37,064 House rules? 67 00:02:37,131 --> 00:02:40,601 Unfortunately, there's a stern side to the welcome basket. 68 00:02:40,668 --> 00:02:42,236 "No smoking pot"? 69 00:02:42,303 --> 00:02:43,904 Mom, Jeff needs it. 70 00:02:43,972 --> 00:02:45,405 He's got a prescription. 71 00:02:45,473 --> 00:02:47,674 He has a compulsive disorder that could get really bad 72 00:02:47,742 --> 00:02:48,976 if he goes off his medication. 73 00:02:49,043 --> 00:02:51,044 Oh, shut up, Hayley; that's not true. 74 00:02:51,112 --> 00:02:54,147 Look, it's not even my rule, it's your dad's. 75 00:02:54,215 --> 00:02:56,717 You think I wouldn't like to spark up a doober 76 00:02:56,784 --> 00:02:58,218 every now and again? 77 00:02:58,286 --> 00:03:02,589 Just take a nice, slow, extra-careful drive. 78 00:03:02,657 --> 00:03:04,458 But, Mom... 79 00:03:04,525 --> 00:03:06,360 It's okay, Hayley, I can handle it. 80 00:03:06,427 --> 00:03:08,829 I mean, weed's the thing I care about the most, 81 00:03:08,897 --> 00:03:10,664 but maybe that should be you. 82 00:03:10,732 --> 00:03:11,865 Oh... 83 00:03:11,933 --> 00:03:13,667 Thanks, Jeff. 84 00:03:13,735 --> 00:03:17,371 Man, you got me thinking about weed now. 85 00:03:17,438 --> 00:03:20,507 That stuff makes me want to drink so much soda. 86 00:03:20,575 --> 00:03:23,810 I smoke a bone, then I drain a two-liter of Sunkist 87 00:03:23,878 --> 00:03:25,178 in, like, a second. 88 00:03:25,246 --> 00:03:26,446 Freaks people out. 89 00:03:35,623 --> 00:03:36,623 What time is it? 90 00:03:36,691 --> 00:03:37,991 It's 6:00 a.m. 91 00:03:38,059 --> 00:03:40,661 I'm checking into a motel then reporting to jury duty. 92 00:03:40,728 --> 00:03:43,363 You don't always have to sequester yourself, you know. 93 00:03:43,431 --> 00:03:44,898 Yes, I do, Francine. 94 00:03:44,966 --> 00:03:47,901 I need to be in a media blackout so I don't compromise the trial. 95 00:03:47,969 --> 00:03:49,736 Now, while I'm gone, I need you to manage 96 00:03:49,804 --> 00:03:51,371 my fantasy basketball team. 97 00:03:51,439 --> 00:03:53,006 Can I make any trades? 98 00:03:53,074 --> 00:03:54,474 No. Just set the lineup. 99 00:03:54,542 --> 00:03:56,376 Stan, you need a power forward. 100 00:03:56,444 --> 00:03:57,577 I have Dirk Nowitzki. 101 00:03:57,645 --> 00:03:58,745 He's soft, Stan. 102 00:03:58,813 --> 00:03:59,846 You need a thug. 103 00:03:59,914 --> 00:04:01,148 You need Ron Artest. 104 00:04:01,215 --> 00:04:02,282 I don't want Ron Artest. 105 00:04:02,350 --> 00:04:03,450 You know what, forget it. 106 00:04:03,518 --> 00:04:05,752 I'll have Steve set my lineup. 107 00:04:05,820 --> 00:04:06,920 Fine. 108 00:04:06,988 --> 00:04:09,189 Let that nerd set your lineup. 109 00:04:09,257 --> 00:04:11,158 Watch you lose. 110 00:04:17,665 --> 00:04:19,566 You, uh, want the Metro Section? 111 00:04:19,634 --> 00:04:20,801 Thanks. 112 00:04:20,868 --> 00:04:22,903 You trying to expose me to the news?! 113 00:04:22,971 --> 00:04:25,138 Force a mistrial? Who do you work for? 114 00:04:25,206 --> 00:04:26,940 Young Man's Fancy! What? 115 00:04:27,008 --> 00:04:30,477 It's a formal-wear boutique for style-conscious preteens! 116 00:04:30,545 --> 00:04:31,912 I'm sorry! 117 00:04:33,214 --> 00:04:35,082 Before your jury service begins, 118 00:04:35,149 --> 00:04:36,950 please watch this short video. 119 00:04:38,252 --> 00:04:40,487 Hi. I'm Judd Nelson, 120 00:04:40,555 --> 00:04:43,523 star of the 1987 courtroom comedy From the Hip. 121 00:04:43,591 --> 00:04:46,860 Maybe you remember the scene where I did Jell-O shots 122 00:04:46,928 --> 00:04:49,363 off of Elizabeth Perkins tight buns. 123 00:04:49,430 --> 00:04:52,966 Oh, wait... that happened in real life. 124 00:04:53,034 --> 00:04:55,402 Anyway, every American's got the right to a trial 125 00:04:55,470 --> 00:04:57,237 by a jury of his peers. 126 00:04:57,305 --> 00:05:00,874 The first step to any trial is jury selection. 127 00:05:00,942 --> 00:05:03,076 It's a lot like an acting audition. 128 00:05:03,144 --> 00:05:05,979 I used to hate them, but... now I'd kill for one. 129 00:05:06,047 --> 00:05:09,683 I mean... just murder someone. 130 00:05:11,552 --> 00:05:13,120 Sir, is there any reason 131 00:05:13,187 --> 00:05:15,155 you couldn't serve on this jury? 132 00:05:15,223 --> 00:05:18,525 I'd love to; I just don't have regular child care. 133 00:05:18,593 --> 00:05:21,094 The prosecution dismisses juror four. 134 00:05:21,162 --> 00:05:23,196 Hang on a second. 135 00:05:23,264 --> 00:05:24,564 Aah! Liar! 136 00:05:24,632 --> 00:05:26,433 What if that had been a real baby?! 137 00:05:26,501 --> 00:05:28,735 Sometimes it is. 138 00:05:28,803 --> 00:05:31,071 Congratulations to you all 139 00:05:31,139 --> 00:05:33,907 for being selected as the jury in this case. 140 00:05:33,975 --> 00:05:36,009 Have you selected a foreman? 141 00:05:36,077 --> 00:05:38,645 I would like to nominate myself as jury foreman. 142 00:05:38,713 --> 00:05:40,814 Your Honor, I love the law, 143 00:05:40,882 --> 00:05:42,816 and I love justice, 144 00:05:42,884 --> 00:05:45,886 and I will do anything, even die, to preserve them. 145 00:05:45,953 --> 00:05:48,255 How many of you can read? 146 00:05:50,258 --> 00:05:52,225 Eh... 147 00:05:52,293 --> 00:05:53,960 no. 148 00:05:54,028 --> 00:05:55,962 Okay, you're foreman. 149 00:06:01,002 --> 00:06:02,936 Oh, I hope it's still in the toilet. 150 00:06:03,004 --> 00:06:05,772 I don't know who left it, but it is crazy big! 151 00:06:05,840 --> 00:06:08,508 It's sticking out of the water like a shipwreck! 152 00:06:10,845 --> 00:06:11,912 Jeff! 153 00:06:11,979 --> 00:06:13,346 What the hell, man! 154 00:06:13,414 --> 00:06:15,082 I-I thought everyone was out. 155 00:06:15,149 --> 00:06:16,416 You have got to lock 156 00:06:16,484 --> 00:06:18,018 the freaking door, dude! I'm sorry, 157 00:06:18,086 --> 00:06:21,054 but when I'm not smoking pot, I suffer from HLS, 158 00:06:21,122 --> 00:06:23,123 Hyperactive Libido Syndrome. 159 00:06:23,191 --> 00:06:26,426 When it hits, I got to get busy right away. 160 00:06:26,494 --> 00:06:28,128 If you're gonna do that in this house, 161 00:06:28,196 --> 00:06:30,730 you'll do it where everyone else in this family does it: 162 00:06:30,798 --> 00:06:32,232 in Steve's bed! 163 00:06:32,300 --> 00:06:33,533 What?! 164 00:06:33,601 --> 00:06:36,002 Today we will be hearing 165 00:06:36,070 --> 00:06:39,306 the case of The People v. Martin Sugar. 166 00:06:39,373 --> 00:06:42,609 Mr. Sugar is accused of manufacturing and distributing 167 00:06:42,677 --> 00:06:45,612 millions of dollars' worth of counterfeit handbags. 168 00:06:45,680 --> 00:06:47,814 Please bring in the defendant. 169 00:06:47,882 --> 00:06:49,983 Justice time! 170 00:07:03,131 --> 00:07:04,931 Hi...! 171 00:07:04,999 --> 00:07:07,267 It's me, Roger. 172 00:07:07,335 --> 00:07:09,736 Stan. Stan. 173 00:07:09,804 --> 00:07:12,305 Just-just look over here, just for a sec. Stan. 174 00:07:13,608 --> 00:07:15,775 Hi...! 175 00:07:20,556 --> 00:07:22,957 Throughout this trial, we will present evidence 176 00:07:23,025 --> 00:07:25,093 against the defendant, 177 00:07:25,161 --> 00:07:28,263 showing how truly despicable his crimes were. 178 00:07:28,330 --> 00:07:29,764 In addition 179 00:07:29,832 --> 00:07:32,567 to the counterfeiting, he subjected illegal workers 180 00:07:32,635 --> 00:07:35,136 to inhumane work conditions. 181 00:07:35,204 --> 00:07:37,739 This man is a threat to society. 182 00:07:37,806 --> 00:07:41,142 He is a menace, and he must pay for his crimes. 183 00:07:41,210 --> 00:07:43,912 I will prove beyond a reasonable doubt 184 00:07:43,979 --> 00:07:46,981 that Martin Sugar deserves to be behind bars. 185 00:07:54,990 --> 00:07:56,691 ♪ I've been really ♪ 186 00:07:56,742 --> 00:07:58,960 ♪ Trying, baby ♪ 187 00:07:59,028 --> 00:08:00,962 ♪ ♪ 188 00:08:01,030 --> 00:08:03,698 ♪ Trying to hold back these feelings ♪ 189 00:08:03,749 --> 00:08:05,483 ♪ For so long... ♪ 190 00:08:05,551 --> 00:08:08,553 Would the defense like to make an opening statement? 191 00:08:08,621 --> 00:08:11,272 I'll be speaking on behalf of my attorney, Your Honor. 192 00:08:11,340 --> 00:08:14,576 This is Bert Faber, and he's been my lawyer for 20 years. 193 00:08:14,643 --> 00:08:17,245 Recently Bert survived a lengthy battle with throat cancer, 194 00:08:17,313 --> 00:08:18,980 and it claimed his voice box. 195 00:08:19,048 --> 00:08:20,815 But I won't fire him. 196 00:08:20,883 --> 00:08:23,484 He's family-- and you don't abandon your family! 197 00:08:23,552 --> 00:08:25,853 Did you hear that? What a stand-up guy. 198 00:08:25,921 --> 00:08:29,524 Eh, so I am definitely not on trial here? 199 00:08:29,592 --> 00:08:31,426 Does anyone have a lozenge? 200 00:08:31,493 --> 00:08:33,828 Bert's throat gets so dry these days. 201 00:08:33,896 --> 00:08:35,730 I knew you'd have one. 202 00:08:35,798 --> 00:08:38,600 You're clearly a mother-- you have kind eyes. 203 00:08:38,667 --> 00:08:39,934 Aw... 204 00:08:40,002 --> 00:08:40,969 Yes. 205 00:08:52,815 --> 00:08:53,982 (screams 206 00:08:54,049 --> 00:08:56,084 Oh, Jeff, come on! 207 00:08:56,151 --> 00:08:58,353 We keep the food in there! 208 00:08:58,420 --> 00:09:00,521 Sorry, I was just getting a snack, 209 00:09:00,589 --> 00:09:03,591 then I noticed the maple syrup lady looks like Ashanti, 210 00:09:03,659 --> 00:09:06,160 and I told you, I can't control myself! 211 00:09:06,228 --> 00:09:07,929 Frannie, can you grab me the saltines? 212 00:09:07,997 --> 00:09:09,330 Aah, oh, dude! 213 00:09:09,398 --> 00:09:11,299 Oh, you are killing me! 214 00:09:11,367 --> 00:09:12,567 Ugh! 215 00:09:12,635 --> 00:09:14,168 Frannie, the canned goods 216 00:09:14,236 --> 00:09:17,238 are probably all right, but I-I'd toss everything else. 217 00:09:17,306 --> 00:09:23,411 The prosecution would now like to call Mr. Sugar to the stand. 218 00:09:23,479 --> 00:09:25,847 Guess who's the luckiest guy in the courtroom? 219 00:09:25,914 --> 00:09:28,549 Bert, 'cause he gets to watch my big round ass 220 00:09:28,617 --> 00:09:30,285 as I walk to the stand. 221 00:09:34,657 --> 00:09:37,358 Mr. Sugar, how do you explain 222 00:09:37,426 --> 00:09:38,960 this photo of you 223 00:09:39,028 --> 00:09:43,264 with illegal employees and counterfeit merchandise? 224 00:09:43,332 --> 00:09:45,633 You know what's not counterfeit in that photo? 225 00:09:45,701 --> 00:09:47,001 My emotions. 226 00:09:47,069 --> 00:09:48,403 Aw... 227 00:09:48,470 --> 00:09:50,672 Okay. I don't know what that means. 228 00:09:50,739 --> 00:09:53,174 But here you are accepting a cash payment 229 00:09:53,242 --> 00:09:54,876 for the fake handbags. 230 00:09:54,943 --> 00:09:57,845 Do you admit that this is you?! 231 00:09:57,913 --> 00:10:00,548 I will... if you admit this is you. 232 00:10:02,318 --> 00:10:04,218 Wh-Wha... H-How did you... 233 00:10:04,286 --> 00:10:05,787 Look how happy you are. 234 00:10:05,854 --> 00:10:07,522 Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, 235 00:10:07,589 --> 00:10:09,590 don't they make a great couple? 236 00:10:12,895 --> 00:10:15,997 Gosh, she looked good before the baby. 237 00:10:18,267 --> 00:10:20,568 Mr. Sugar made us work very hard. 238 00:10:20,636 --> 00:10:24,372 When we weren't sewing handbags, he made us sleep on the floor. 239 00:10:26,442 --> 00:10:28,776 Inez... thank you. 240 00:10:30,379 --> 00:10:33,881 Inez, does the date September 19th mean anything to you? 241 00:10:33,949 --> 00:10:35,249 Es mi cumpleanos. 242 00:10:35,317 --> 00:10:37,418 In English, please. It is my birthday. 243 00:10:37,486 --> 00:10:39,320 Can you tell me what this is, Inez? 244 00:10:40,723 --> 00:10:43,491 It is the bear you gave me for my birthday. 245 00:10:43,559 --> 00:10:44,859 Aw... 246 00:10:44,927 --> 00:10:47,662 So, if I was the monster the prosecution is trying 247 00:10:47,730 --> 00:10:50,164 to portray me as, would I have given you 248 00:10:50,232 --> 00:10:52,066 such a wonderful birthday present? 249 00:10:52,134 --> 00:10:54,135 No. In English, please. 250 00:10:54,203 --> 00:10:55,403 No. 251 00:10:55,471 --> 00:10:58,106 Martin Sugar rests, y'all! 252 00:11:03,879 --> 00:11:05,813 Oh-Oh. Yeah. 253 00:11:08,684 --> 00:11:11,185 Look, I'm jury foreman and no one leaves here 254 00:11:11,253 --> 00:11:12,754 until we come to a unanimous decision. 255 00:11:12,821 --> 00:11:14,255 We're unanimous. 256 00:11:14,323 --> 00:11:16,557 You're the only douchebag who thinks he's guilty. 257 00:11:16,625 --> 00:11:18,459 Didn't you people see all the evidence? 258 00:11:18,527 --> 00:11:21,229 He makes pregnant women on the assembly line give birth 259 00:11:21,296 --> 00:11:22,697 and then get right back to work! 260 00:11:22,765 --> 00:11:25,466 That's why he built the Martin Sugar Day Care Center. 261 00:11:25,534 --> 00:11:28,102 It's an overturned refrigerator filled with kitty litter! 262 00:11:28,170 --> 00:11:29,337 Look, we just like him. 263 00:11:29,405 --> 00:11:30,905 Let's let him go. 264 00:11:30,973 --> 00:11:32,640 No! If he committed these crimes, 265 00:11:32,708 --> 00:11:34,108 then he has to pay the price! 266 00:11:34,176 --> 00:11:35,576 I don't know. 267 00:11:35,644 --> 00:11:37,412 I think about all the people he ripped off, 268 00:11:37,479 --> 00:11:40,047 but then I think about how funny and handsome he is 269 00:11:40,115 --> 00:11:41,749 and I just want to sit on his . 270 00:11:41,817 --> 00:11:43,718 I think we need to take another look at the evidence. 271 00:11:49,057 --> 00:11:50,425 Hey. It's me. 272 00:11:50,492 --> 00:11:52,160 I'm gonna be late. 273 00:11:52,227 --> 00:11:54,362 Can you TiVo Ass Rangers 4 for me? 274 00:11:54,430 --> 00:11:55,630 Thanks, hon. 275 00:11:55,697 --> 00:11:57,098 Now put Mommy on the phone. 276 00:11:58,567 --> 00:12:00,668 Has the jury reached a verdict? 277 00:12:00,736 --> 00:12:03,337 Yes, Your Honor. 278 00:12:09,645 --> 00:12:11,078 Martin Sugar, 279 00:12:11,146 --> 00:12:13,648 you have been found guilty on all counts. 280 00:12:15,984 --> 00:12:17,618 He wasn't gonna let us go home! 281 00:12:17,686 --> 00:12:19,120 I'll visit you in prison. 282 00:12:19,188 --> 00:12:22,623 You are sentenced to ten years in maximum security prison. 283 00:12:23,859 --> 00:12:26,327 I can't believe he got me. 284 00:12:26,395 --> 00:12:29,430 ♪ Breaking rocks in the hot sun ♪ 285 00:12:29,498 --> 00:12:32,300 ♪ I fought the law and the law won. ♪ 286 00:12:32,367 --> 00:12:34,168 Stop, Stan. You know I love that song, 287 00:12:34,236 --> 00:12:35,303 and I'm not in the mood to do a whole-- 288 00:12:35,370 --> 00:12:36,671 Oh, screw it. 289 00:12:36,738 --> 00:12:39,540 ♪ I needed money 'cause I had none ♪ 290 00:12:39,608 --> 00:12:42,543 ♪ I fought the law and the law won ♪ 291 00:12:42,611 --> 00:12:45,513 ♪ I fought the law and the law won. ♪ 292 00:12:45,581 --> 00:12:49,317 Nice try, guys, but I always keep a handcuff key up my bum. 293 00:12:50,886 --> 00:12:52,253 Ta-dah! 294 00:12:58,130 --> 00:13:00,264 How could you do this to me, Stan? 295 00:13:00,332 --> 00:13:03,100 Sorry, Roger. I just had to take a bite out of crime. 296 00:13:03,168 --> 00:13:04,202 You know who said that? 297 00:13:04,269 --> 00:13:05,803 McGruff the Crime Dog, 298 00:13:05,871 --> 00:13:09,173 my number four favorite fictitious dog of all time. 299 00:13:09,241 --> 00:13:10,641 Let's run through the whole Top Ten. 300 00:13:10,709 --> 00:13:12,243 Number ten: Benji. 301 00:13:12,311 --> 00:13:13,778 Air Bud. 302 00:13:13,846 --> 00:13:15,379 Spike, 303 00:13:15,447 --> 00:13:18,249 Snoopy's ne'er-do-well desert-dwelling brother. 304 00:13:18,317 --> 00:13:20,651 Eddie from Frasier. 305 00:13:20,719 --> 00:13:23,454 Original party animal Spuds MacKenzie. 306 00:13:23,505 --> 00:13:26,290 Hooch, of Turner & Hooch fame. 307 00:13:26,358 --> 00:13:28,326 Already told ya. Try to keep up. 308 00:13:28,393 --> 00:13:30,728 Old Yeller. 309 00:13:33,866 --> 00:13:35,333 Lassie. 310 00:13:35,400 --> 00:13:38,269 And the number one dog on my fictitious dog list is... 311 00:13:38,337 --> 00:13:39,704 Brian Griffin. 312 00:13:39,771 --> 00:13:42,473 Uh, do I know you? 313 00:13:42,541 --> 00:13:44,542 Stop pretending I don't exist! 314 00:13:46,712 --> 00:13:48,346 What'd you do? 315 00:13:48,413 --> 00:13:50,348 I killed my mother. 316 00:13:50,415 --> 00:13:51,616 Really? Matricide? 317 00:13:51,683 --> 00:13:53,150 That's disrespectful. 318 00:13:53,202 --> 00:13:55,986 Although if you inherited that pizza face from her, I get it. 319 00:14:02,027 --> 00:14:03,694 Excuse me, driver, could I be shackled 320 00:14:03,762 --> 00:14:05,396 to someone with a softer offense? 321 00:14:05,464 --> 00:14:08,549 Maybe someone guilty of a Jew-on-Jew financial crime? 322 00:14:09,801 --> 00:14:11,869 Whoa. 323 00:14:11,937 --> 00:14:14,338 Anyone guilty of a Napster-level crime? 324 00:14:14,406 --> 00:14:15,840 I'll-I'll even take a mother killer 325 00:14:15,908 --> 00:14:17,141 without Edward James Olmos cheeks. 326 00:14:40,532 --> 00:14:42,633 Edward James Olmos cheeks. 327 00:15:10,295 --> 00:15:12,129 Hayley, I think we need 328 00:15:12,197 --> 00:15:13,497 to have a little mother-daughter talk. 329 00:15:13,565 --> 00:15:14,865 Okay. 330 00:15:14,933 --> 00:15:17,835 Your husband's "condition" is way out of control. 331 00:15:17,903 --> 00:15:21,772 Bottom line, you need to start satisfying him more, sweetie. 332 00:15:21,840 --> 00:15:23,841 But, Mom, I satisfy him all the time. 333 00:15:23,909 --> 00:15:26,210 Well, then you got to do it better. 334 00:15:26,278 --> 00:15:27,912 Get creative, Hayley. 335 00:15:27,980 --> 00:15:29,146 Use your pinky. 336 00:15:29,214 --> 00:15:30,815 I'm using my pinky, Mom. 337 00:15:30,882 --> 00:15:32,883 I don't think you're using your pinky. 338 00:15:32,951 --> 00:15:34,552 I told you I'm using it. 339 00:15:34,619 --> 00:15:36,354 But are you really using your pinky? 340 00:15:36,421 --> 00:15:39,123 I don't think so! 341 00:15:39,191 --> 00:15:41,025 Get. 342 00:15:41,093 --> 00:15:42,693 Up. 343 00:15:42,761 --> 00:15:43,928 In. 344 00:15:43,996 --> 00:15:45,963 There. 345 00:15:48,834 --> 00:15:50,468 Stan, how was the trial? 346 00:15:50,535 --> 00:15:53,204 Justice prevailed, as per use. 347 00:15:53,271 --> 00:15:55,306 Oh, big news. You'll never guess who the defendant was. 348 00:15:55,374 --> 00:15:56,807 But first, where's Steve? 349 00:15:56,875 --> 00:15:59,010 I want to see how my fantasy basketball team is doing. 350 00:15:59,077 --> 00:16:00,911 Well, he understood the fantasy part, 351 00:16:00,979 --> 00:16:03,848 but had no idea what basketball was. 352 00:16:03,915 --> 00:16:07,018 He tried to add three griffins and an orc to your roster. 353 00:16:07,085 --> 00:16:10,354 nerd. 354 00:16:10,422 --> 00:16:11,822 Breaking news! A bus bound 355 00:16:11,890 --> 00:16:13,457 for the Virginia Correctional Facility has crashed. 356 00:16:13,525 --> 00:16:15,059 One prisoner has escaped. 357 00:16:15,127 --> 00:16:17,294 What?! That son of a bitch! 358 00:16:17,362 --> 00:16:19,764 Wait, Roger was the guy on trial? 359 00:16:19,831 --> 00:16:21,298 How could you convict him? 360 00:16:21,366 --> 00:16:22,400 Because he's guilty! 361 00:16:22,467 --> 00:16:23,934 And now he's gonna get away. 362 00:16:24,002 --> 00:16:26,203 You know what? No. 363 00:16:26,271 --> 00:16:28,839 I'm gonna bring him in myself. 364 00:16:30,008 --> 00:16:31,742 What did Daddy think of my trades? 365 00:16:31,810 --> 00:16:34,245 You hurt your family with what you did, Steve. 366 00:16:34,312 --> 00:16:37,214 You made us weaker as a unit. 367 00:16:39,518 --> 00:16:42,186 This is the seventh bus you've crashed, Kevin. 368 00:16:42,254 --> 00:16:45,322 You're gonna have to learn how to laugh on the inside, brother. 369 00:16:45,390 --> 00:16:46,524 I'll take it from here. 370 00:16:46,591 --> 00:16:47,658 Who are you? 371 00:16:47,726 --> 00:16:49,593 Stan Smith, I'm a Marshal, too. 372 00:16:51,730 --> 00:16:54,432 Look, there's only one man that's gonna bring this guy in, 373 00:16:54,499 --> 00:16:55,900 and that's me. 374 00:16:55,967 --> 00:16:57,568 But, if you really want to help, 375 00:16:57,636 --> 00:17:01,038 you can take this rock and get it out of my way. 376 00:17:01,106 --> 00:17:03,074 You think you can handle that, dumbass? 377 00:17:03,141 --> 00:17:05,876 Now, leave me alone so I can study this footprint. 378 00:17:17,089 --> 00:17:19,390 Text from Stan here. 379 00:17:19,458 --> 00:17:21,692 Better not be him with some unconscious fool. 380 00:17:21,760 --> 00:17:23,027 Oh, damn! 381 00:17:23,095 --> 00:17:25,529 That fool got knocked the hell out! 382 00:17:25,597 --> 00:17:26,864 Let me see. 383 00:17:26,932 --> 00:17:29,733 Oh, I wish you hadn't shown me that. 384 00:17:29,801 --> 00:17:31,735 ♪ ♪ 385 00:17:31,803 --> 00:17:35,439 Sang-Mi, give me hot pink on my fingers 386 00:17:35,507 --> 00:17:37,808 and pink mist on my toes. 387 00:17:44,616 --> 00:17:45,783 Hello? 388 00:17:45,851 --> 00:17:48,235 You got real close to taking me down, Stan. 389 00:17:48,320 --> 00:17:49,386 But it's never gonna happen. 390 00:17:49,438 --> 00:17:51,522 You can't catch Ferris Bueller, Jeanie. 391 00:17:51,573 --> 00:17:53,958 Roger, I don't care if I have to search to the ends of the Earth. 392 00:17:54,025 --> 00:17:55,576 Hold on. I should get this. 393 00:17:55,660 --> 00:17:57,244 Sang-Mi's Nail Salon. 394 00:17:57,329 --> 00:17:59,447 Now at their new location, 124 Grand Street. 395 00:17:59,531 --> 00:18:01,599 How may I help you? It's still me. 396 00:18:01,666 --> 00:18:03,667 Got to get out of town. 397 00:18:03,735 --> 00:18:05,970 But first, I got to change my disguise. 398 00:18:25,757 --> 00:18:27,475 Take me to him, boy. 399 00:18:32,230 --> 00:18:33,831 ♪ ♪ 400 00:18:45,577 --> 00:18:47,945 Jeff! 401 00:18:48,013 --> 00:18:52,149 Thanks for letting me go back on my medication, Mrs. S. 402 00:18:52,217 --> 00:18:54,485 Better than the alternative. 403 00:19:07,499 --> 00:19:09,266 ♪ ♪ 404 00:19:30,822 --> 00:19:33,824 Why are you destroying my birthday bear?! 405 00:19:33,892 --> 00:19:36,327 I need to get out of the country! 406 00:19:36,394 --> 00:19:38,295 There was money in the bear? 407 00:19:38,363 --> 00:19:41,899 Dios mío. Money in the bear. 408 00:19:42,767 --> 00:19:44,501 Okay, okay, Stan. 409 00:19:44,569 --> 00:19:45,836 You got me. 410 00:19:45,904 --> 00:19:48,272 But why was catching me so important? 411 00:19:48,340 --> 00:19:50,708 Because following the rules is hard work. 412 00:19:50,775 --> 00:19:53,210 And if I follow them, you should have to follow them, too. 413 00:19:53,278 --> 00:19:55,012 You're going to prison, Roger. 414 00:19:55,080 --> 00:19:56,981 No! I'll do anything. I'll follow the rules! 415 00:19:57,048 --> 00:19:58,749 Look, I'll even report for jury duty! 416 00:20:00,118 --> 00:20:01,218 Yes, this is, um... 417 00:20:01,286 --> 00:20:02,820 Dr. Lawrence Feldman. 418 00:20:02,887 --> 00:20:04,555 I want to report for jury duty. 419 00:20:04,623 --> 00:20:06,123 8:00 in the morning? 420 00:20:06,191 --> 00:20:08,492 Is that, like, a hard 8:00, or can I roll in around noon? 421 00:20:08,560 --> 00:20:10,394 Fine. 422 00:20:10,462 --> 00:20:12,263 Well, you win. 423 00:20:12,330 --> 00:20:14,031 Ferris Bueller is dead. 424 00:20:14,099 --> 00:20:16,700 I guess eventually, we all have to move on. 425 00:20:16,768 --> 00:20:19,370 I have to make Biloxi Blues, then Godzilla, 426 00:20:19,437 --> 00:20:22,039 then continue to comb my hair boyishly to the side, 427 00:20:22,107 --> 00:20:24,408 even though I'm well into my 50s and nearly bald. 428 00:20:26,945 --> 00:20:28,912 Oh, come on, Can't you just let me go? 429 00:20:28,980 --> 00:20:30,080 Sorry, Roger. 430 00:20:30,148 --> 00:20:32,916 Justice has finally caught up with you. 431 00:20:32,984 --> 00:20:34,418 Yeah, that's him. 432 00:20:34,486 --> 00:20:35,986 No! No! I'm the good guy! 433 00:20:36,054 --> 00:20:37,221 He's the bad guy! 434 00:20:39,024 --> 00:20:39,957 Who are you? 435 00:20:40,025 --> 00:20:41,525 I'm Bob Danolou. 436 00:20:41,593 --> 00:20:43,961 I make gluten-free desserts. 437 00:20:44,029 --> 00:20:47,498 Not going to lie. We're struggling at the moment. 438 00:20:52,504 --> 00:20:54,805 Stan! 439 00:20:54,873 --> 00:20:56,407 Hi... 440 00:20:56,474 --> 00:20:58,208 Oh my God. He is so guilty. 441 00:20:58,276 --> 00:20:59,476 You're voting "guilty," right? 442 00:20:59,544 --> 00:21:00,811 You can't know he's guilty yet. 443 00:21:00,879 --> 00:21:02,513 Everyone's guilty of something. 444 00:21:02,580 --> 00:21:05,349 You're guilty of having incredibly kissable lips. 445 00:21:05,417 --> 00:21:08,252 Oh, they're plump and sweet like ripe cherries. 446 00:21:08,320 --> 00:21:09,920 I'll vote guilty if you want me to. 447 00:21:09,988 --> 00:21:11,822 Of course you will. 448 00:21:11,890 --> 00:21:13,257 Hi... 449 00:21:13,590 --> 00:21:17,090 == Sync, corrected by elderman == == for www.addic7ed.com ==